Performance in Motion Magazine Vol. 17 No. 1 by Performance Improvements

MAGAZINE

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VOL.

NO.

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CANADA

Available at Performance Improvements Speed Shops: www.PerformanceImprovements.com

PIM

PERFORMANCE DIRECTORY

E VERYB O DY ’ S AUTO M OTIVE MAGA ZINE Published Oddly VOL.17 NO.1

Publisher Editor Writer Proofreader

Bob McJannett Rob McJannett Bonnie Staring Carol “Spike” LaVigne

Contributors Thomas Anderson Mark Bovey Jim Madigan Evan Pick Dave Thomas

FEATURES Editorial............................................................................. Bob McJannett

The Targa Truck takes the hard way......................... Mark Bovey Book Review .................................................................................... Len Sly Upcoming Events................................................. Thomas Anderson Racing Series........................................................... Thomas Anderson 1940 Dodge Truck MIDASWEL............................. Bob McJannett Motorama 2017......................................... Dave Thomas, Evan Pick Reluctant Passenger.................................................. Bonnie Staring REARVIEW - Derek “Duke” Brown........................................................

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Performance in Motion Publications, 87 Advance Road, Toronto, ON M8Z 2S6 • Phone: 416-259-3678 • Fax: 416-259-6433

COVER

Mark Bovey’s 1971 GMC pickup truck has been a father son project since he was 14 years old. There has been just a few tweaks made to it since then. Also on the Cover Jim Madigan’s 1940 Dodge Pickup Truck MIDASWELL, in the upper right, going for a ride down Madigan’s Lane.

MOVING? Please let us know! E-mail both your old & new address to: info@performanceimprovements.com Canada Post please return undeliverable magazines to: 87 Advance Road, Toronto, ON M8Z 2S6 PUBLICATIONS MAIL AGREEMENT NO. 40609642 • PERFORMANCE IN MOTION is published irregularly. Circulation is 30,000+ (ISSN 1703-8421) Performance in Motion Copyright ©2017 by Performance In Motion Publishing. 87 Advance Road, Toronto, ON M8Z 2S6 Phone: 416-259-3678 • Fax: 416-259-6433. Be good to the environment, recycle this magazine – give it to your friends! We respect your privacy, and do not sell our mailing list. All opinions are those of our writers, (the usual gang of idiots) most of whom think gas fumes are acceptable as aftershave. The information presented is via said gas sniffers from which there can be no responsibility by the Publishers as to legality, completeness and accuracy. If you enjoy our magazine, be sure to let us know! This magazine may not be reprinted without permission of Performance In Motion Publishing. (We’re nice guys, just ask) • Thanks for everything Duke •

www.PerformanceImprovements.com

匀琀愀琀攀漀昀琀栀攀䄀爀琀匀礀洀洀攀琀爀椀挀愀氀䐀攀猀椀最渀

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䔀䰀䔀䌀吀刀䤀䌀䘀䄀一䌀伀一吀刀伀䰀䰀䔀刀

䠀䤀䜀䠀伀唀吀倀唀吀

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䌀愀瀀愀挀椀琀礀

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䔀䰀䔀䌀吀刀䤀䌀䘀䄀一䌀伀一吀刀伀䰀䰀䔀刀匀倀圀䴀

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䘀䄀一䌀伀一吀刀伀䰀䰀䔀刀

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倀⼀一㨀㄀㘀㜀㐀㤀吀栀爀攀愀搀ⴀ䤀渀倀爀漀戀攀倀⼀一㨀㄀㘀㜀㔀㤀倀甀猀栀ⴀ䤀渀倀爀漀戀攀

Available at all Performance Improvements Speed Shops: Barrie 705-735-1274 Hamilton 905-574-6940 Toronto 416-259-9656 Brampton 905-453-9901 Oshawa 905-725-3533 Call Toll Free 1-877-471-6700

䄀䴀倀䌀䄀倀䄀䌀䤀吀夀㨀䄀䌀吀䤀嘀䄀吀䤀伀一吀䔀䴀倀㨀吀唀刀一ⴀ伀䘀䘀吀䔀䴀倀㨀䴀唀䰀吀䤀ⴀ䘀䄀一㨀倀刀伀䈀䔀匀吀夀䰀䔀㨀䔀砀琀爀愀猀㨀

㈀㔀愀洀瀀猀㄀㔀 먀䘀 ⴀ ㈀㐀 먀䘀㄀ 먀䘀戀攀氀漀眀愀挀琀椀瘀愀琀椀漀渀一漀㌀⼀㠀ᴠ 一倀吀漀爀倀甀猀栀ⴀ椀渀瀀爀漀戀攀䄀椀爀挀漀渀搀椀琀椀漀渀椀渀最漀瘀攀爀爀椀搀攀挀椀爀挀甀椀琀戀甀椀氀琀ⴀ椀渀

www.PerformanceImprovements.com

Editorial

Spring Cleaning As

this is being written, the weather is coming around. Those of us with specialty cars are chomping at the bit to get them back out on the road. Hopefully, we will have an early spring, that gets us started earlier. There are loads of events to go to. On a quick look, I could find 68 right here in Ontario, and I am sure there are many more. Some are huge and others are smaller, more local. Obviously, a lot of the dates overlap which leaves you trying to decide which ones to take in. We are faced with a similar problem. Where should we go to see the most interesting cars? On pages 16-17 of this issue, we have listed some of the ones that caught our eye. By the time we go to press, the third edition of Motorama will be in the books. In fact, we have coverage for those who couldn’t make it, turn to page 22 to see what you missed.

Shortly after, Performance Improvements will be having its annual spring sale. Check out the flyer in this issue. We hope to see you! However, if you can’t make it to one of the five locations, check our website at www.performanceimprovements.com . December the 30th our friend Duke Brown passed. At his wake, a number of us were bemoaning the fact that we all had these great cars, but couldn’t find the time to get out and play with them. We decided that 2017 would be a year of change. So, watch for a number of Old Geezers out driving the wheels off their hot rods. Hope to see you on the road this year!

bmcj@performanceimprovements.com “End of Day” Photo By: Jim Madigan

Story and Photos by Mark Bovey

2015, it became apparent that the Targa Truck needed to be upgraded. The thought did cross my mind to build something else, something easier. Or maybe even just go buy a track capable car, a Cayman R, or maybe a ZL1. Eventually, the realization came that the only way I’d ultimately satisfy my go-fast itch was to use the truck. On the outset of this phase of the Targa Truck, it was going to be an engine refresh, a 9” floater and brakes that handle heat better

– all in the name of safety and reliability. In a perfect world, a custom chassis would have been built, but the weakness of our Canadian dollar quickly ended that dream. Then there was my personal life, my wife and I were trying to have a second child; at the time, our first son was three years old. It seemed unlikely the truck would see much action during the baby’s arrival, so this was the perfect time to do a few upgrades. The plans were set with people I liked and trusted, Ron Sutton Race Technology

was on suspension duty, SDPC Raceshop in Texas was going to rebuild the LS427 and add an Aviaid dry sump, and Performance Improvements was on deck for everything else. All the ducks were in their proper rows. Let’s get at it. But life has the tendency to catch you off guard. My wife was pregnant, and we had the baby gear organized on shelves in the basement. My wife and I were prepared, prepared for anything, almost. In October 2015, our plans to have a second child turned

Mark Bovey’s father bought him this 1971 GMC pickup truck when he was 14 years old. It took eight years of weekends and evenings to make the former farm truck roadworthy. After a brief moment as a beauty model, Trucky went Drag Racing, on a high speed run at the Maxton Mile before an SPDA Autocross day created a need for the Truck to start going on a Diet.

Performance in MOTION

out to be our second and THIRD child. Twins. Holy crap. Twins. We are having twins… twins. We laughed when we found out. How on earth will having three children affect our life, our businesses, let alone my go-fast addiction. At that point, two things were decided in regard to the truck: 1) 2016 was a write-off from a car adventure standpoint. The focus needed to be on healthy babies, wife, home life and keep both my wife’s business and my business

hickup free. 2) Time was officially the enemy. I needed to re-evaluate the way I build and why I build. I’m a hands-on guy; this had to change. Cutting back on upgrades was not an option. Parking the truck was not an option. Then, it struck me, go all in and change everything that was wrong. Just make it work. This is all unchartered territory; the truck requires “special order” everything. Nothing is off the shelf. Time to get busy … the hard way.

The Targa Truck has always been a family affair. Dad still enjoys spinning a wrench and Wyatt loves helping out both Dad and Pop. Some claim to have even seen wreches in the hands of the twins. www.PerformanceImprovements.com

The

only way to get the truck done was to start. Worry was setting in, worry that if I screwed this up, the truck would sit in a heap for years. No thank you. A plan was in place. The suspension upgrades were coming from Ron Sutton Race Technology in the US; a Speedway Engineering 9” floater, Wilwood 13” brakes and Aerolite calipers, modular RSRT spindles, and a fancy set of Forgeline wheels. We had spent months working on this “kit,” so all of it would simply bolt on. As research progressed on the parts

upgrade of the truck, my interest focused on the weight of it, more importantly where the weight was in the truck. Tipping the scales at 4,067 lbs. was okay given it’s a stock full-size long bed, but improving the 60/40 front to rear weight bias would make it handle better. Engine setback turned out to be the answer. I wanted at least 12”, the “Internet” said 10” was the most that could be done. My fabrication shop came in for the win. Chassis Stop is a local company who builds some seriously fast drag cars. We had discussed the work, and their response was “Yeah, we’ll do what we can do.” Then they

proceed to mount the engine in the cab, they moved it back 18 inches. To put 18 inches of setback into perspective, imagine this: my throttle pedal is in front of the throttle body. The scales suggested we were onto something. The front rear bias is promising, but the Holy Grail of 50/50 is still a pipe dream. Halfway through the fab work, my rebuilt LS 427 came back from SDPC Raceshop, and it was a work of art. Better yet, it cranked out 611 HP at 6100 rpm and 580 ft./lbs. @5,000 rpm and is built for repeated beatings. To over simplify this story, the truck was a

You know things are getting serious when your parts come in their own crate! This wooden box o’ goodies came from Ron Sutton Race Technology in the US, and included: Wilwood 13” brakes and Aerolite calipers, modular RSRT spindles and a Speedway Engineering 9” floater.

Performance in MOTION

SDPC Raceshop in Texas took on the rebuild of our trusty LS 427. The Chevrolet Performance race block was machined and checked. The Callies rotating passed inspection and was re-used with the addition of new Wiseco Pistons. Valve train is bumped around by a Comp Cam and the AFR Mongoose heads can flow a tremendous amount of air. Induction is handle by an Edelbrock Victor Jr intake, throttle body and fuel rails. The front drive is manufactured by Wegner Motorsports and uses a MSD Ford distributor, Wegner designed a special hub to drive the Aviaid 3 port dry sump system.

SDPC Raceshop re-built the LS 427 so it now cranks out 611 HP at 6100 rpm and 580 ft./lbs. @5,000 rpm. Filled with Wiseco Pistons and a Callies Compstar rotating assembly, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now built for repeated beatings. www.PerformanceImprovements.com

The factory pedals and steering column were becoming a liability and they were not ergonomically correct either. The firewall fabrication was serious and presented the opportunity to rebuild the cockpit with a Woodward steering column (NASCAR & Australian V8 Supercar), Tilton reverse mount pedal box and Sparco Ergo 2 seat. PI sourced everything, they access to serious race car parts if you need them.

basic rolling chassis this past January. All of my custom suspension parts that we planned to bolt on? They did “bolt on”. All the credit for this goes to Ron Sutton. The engine and T56 are in their new home, the cab. Speaking of the cab, we replaced everything with parts suitable for the task. Performance Improvements imported some fancy parts, including a cool Titlon reverse mount pedal set, a Sparco Seat, and a Woodward safety steering column. All in the name of correcting the driving position. The only real surprise that happened

during the build was a result of the massive engine set-back; my custom headers no longer fit. The Chassis Stop builds lovely headers, so PI ordered me a box of Vibrant Performance parts, and within a few days, the truck had a crazy looking set of triple step headers with 3½” collectors. As you read this, we are in assembly mode. The major fabrication work is complete, well mostly. It’s out of paint and patiently awaiting to have the LS427/Tranzilla T56 stuffed back in. Oh, and those twins? In the middle of

all of this, they arrived, healthy, safe and wonderful. The balancing act of all this mayhem would never have happened without wonderful build partners, my wife included. One of the best things I’ve learned from taking the hard way is there are people out there who enjoy riding the road less traveled with you. Please join the Targa Truck build on Facebook, Instagram and pro-touring.com in the trucks section. Coming soon is a two-part podcast from The Bucket Seat.

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Chassis Stop moved the engine 18 inches back into the cab, so it’s now a cab-over truck. The engine is 18 inches back, where the transmission was. My throttle pedal is in front of the throttle body.

Performance in MOTION

Burns Stainless ran the math on the LS427 and created an header design to suit the use of the truck. Chassis Stop fabricated the triple step headers from scratch, using a pile of Vibrant Performance SS parts and Hooker cast SS flanges. All of these parts are available at PI.

It’s a massive amount of work, but the Proform scales don’t lie. Our plan to move weight is working, and this will make the truck handle better. The best part, once the stock body is back on and the hood is shut, no one will know what has happened. We plan on tearing up the track with the Targa Truck this summer.

You can follow Mark Bovey’s Targa Truck on: Facebook, Instagram and pro-touring.com .

Performance in MOTION

Performance Directory

I’ve been a car guy my entire life, now I’m a car dad. Never in my wildest imagination did I plan to be the dad with a 4 y/o son holding a set of Forgelines, holding twin baby boys. It’s a seriously fun combo.

The truck has been a part of our family for a long time, now it’s in parts all over our house, even our bedroom. Yes, my wife rocks.

www.PerformanceImprovements.com

RONTO

O T + A W A H S O + N O T IL M A H + N O BARRIE + BRAMPT

_REVIEW STEVE MAGNANTE’S 1001 MUSTANG FACTS You have seen him on TV behind the microphone offering all the hidden details on whatever vehicle is going across the Barrett Jackson auction block. Steve’s amazing depth of knowledge on all things automotive has been recognized by his peers. He has won awards for his previous 1001 Muscle Car facts publication. With this, his latest book, Steve turns his attention to the original pony car. Covering Mustangs from their birth in 1964 right through to present models. You will learn all the little known facts and intricacies of these great cars. No matter if you are a loyal Mustang owner or simply someone who just wants the knowledge to stump your pals when ever Mustangs are talked about, this is the book for you. SACT563 336 PAGES $24.95

Isky: Ed Iskenderian and the History of Hot Rodding This book tells the whole story, from his pre-war Lake Muroc and car club activities, his service in the military, starting a small business fabricating parts and making cams in the back of a rented shop, and then selling cams to other racers. It covers how he grew a business from a single cam grinder and became the leading cam authority in barely 10 years. Ed was a gifted machinist, and he also had a natural knack for promotion. He purchased an ad in the second issue of Hot Rod magazine, sensing something big; his instincts, as always, were right. He was also the first to use T-shirts and uniforms as promotion. Not only was he an early pioneer in the industry for print advertising and catalogues, he was also among the first to understand the value of having successful race cars using his camshafts in their engines and wearing his decals on their fenders. The biggest names in the racing industry were running Isky cams, and Ed made sure the world knew it. Still active in his mid 90s, Ed can usually be seen wherever car events are being held. You will enjoy the stories recorded here, as much as Ed “Isky” Iskenderian seems to enjoy telling them. SACT570 208 pages in hardcover $49.95 www.PerformanceImprovements.com

UPCOMING EVENTS 2017 ROCKABILLY REV UP Daytime cruise plus plus rockabilly evening concert PORT DOVER, MAY 20. PISTON PUSHERS SWAP MEET BRANTFORD, JUNE 17. WASAGA BEACH CRUISERS FUN RUN Live Entertainment, Trophies, Door Prizes, Dash Plaques 8AM-3PM JUNE 23rd & 24th 2017 MCCC CLASSICS AND ROD REVIEW HERSHEY CENTER, MISSISSAUGA, JULY 9. KOPPER KETTLE CLASSICS Beer tours, craft displays, and even a farmers market CREEMORE, JULY 15. Father’s Day Stock/Super Stock Shootout Father’s Day Weekend, $25,000 (US$) purse. CAYUGA DRAGWAY, JUNE 16-18 COPS AND RODDERS CAR SHOW Great location on the waterfront PIER 4 PARK, HAMILTON, AUG 6 (Tenatively) JALOPY JAM UP Swap meet, live entertainment and a pin up contest. PRE 64 TRADITIONAL HOT ROD SHOW, AUG 19. AUTOFEST OSHAWA Motor City Car Club’s annual event LAKEVIEW PARK, AUG 26-27 DEUCE MERC SHOW Limited to all Makes of Rods & Kustoms 1951 & Under COLUMBUS CENTRE WATERLOO, AUG 27. ROADMATES PICNIC ROADMATES CAR CLUB, SEPT 2. STREET CLASSICS SWAP MEET CTC QUEENSWAY, SEPT 4.

WEEKLY CRUISE NIGHTS WASAGA BEACH CRUISERS CRUISE NIGHTS MONDAYS MAY 15 - SEPT 4

PING • 365 IP SH EE FR • g in ic Pr n ia d Cana 16

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Day Returns

ROCKIN THE WATERFRONT PIER 4 PARK, HAMILTON Every Wed. from May 17 - Aug. 30 STREET CLASSICS CRUISE NIGHT CTC QUEENSWAY, ETOBICOKE Saturdays from May 20 - Oct. 1.

RACING SERIES OSCA Ontario Street Car Association May 13-14 - Toronto Motorsports Park June 10-11 - Toronto Motorsports Park July 15-16 - Toronto Motorsports Park August 12-13 - Toronto Motorsports Park September 16-17 - Toronto Motorsports Park CAN/AM Stock Super Stock Series May 20-21 - Toronto Motorsports Park June 24-25 - Empire Dragway July 22-23 - St Thomas Raceway Park August 5-6 - Grand Bend Motorplex Sept 2-3 - Toronto Motorsports Park Sept 23-24 - St Thomas Raceway Park October 1 - Toronto Motorsports Park TNT SUPER SERIES Friday May 26 - Lancaster National Speedway & Dragway Saturday May 27 - Empire Dragway Saturday June 24 - St Thomas Raceway Park Sunday June 25 - St Thomas Raceway Park Friday July 14 - Lancaster National Speedway & Dragway Saturday July 15 - Empire Dragway Saturday July 29 - Toronto Motorsports Park Sunday July 30 - Toronto Motorsports Park Friday August 18 - 2nd Annual $5K - Empire Dragway Friday September 8 - Lancaster National Speedway Saturday September 9 - Empire Dragway Formula Drift Canada May 28 - FD Canada Round 1 - Sanair June 17-18 - FD Canada Round 2 & 3 - Montmagny July 14/15 - FD Canada Round 4 - St-Eustache August 5-6 - FD Canada Round 5 - GP3R August 19 - FD Canada Round 6 - Montmagny Sept. 3-4 - FD Canada Round 7 & 8 - St-Eustache SPDA Driving Events Apr 29-30 - Advanced Driver Clinic Powerade Centre May 13 - OTA School - CTMP (Mosport) DDT May 27 - Lapping Day CTMP (Mosport) DDT Jun 10 - OTA Event 1 - TMP (formerly Cayuga) Jun 24 - OTA School #2 - CTMP (Mosport) GP track Jun 25 - OTA Event 2 - CTMP (Mosport) GP track Jul 16 - ATTS 2017 Event #1 - CTMP (Mosport) DDT Jul 29 - OTA Event 3- CTMP (Mosport) DDT Ontario Off road Racing Association 1500+ Horse power mud drags! Truck and tractor pulls! Dune buggys, Baja trucks ATVs, Sleds and a mud bog! North Augusta Motorsports Park June 3-4th, July 15-16th, Sept 16-17th www.PerformanceImprovements.com

1940 DODGE PICKUP

MIDASWEL

Story by Bob McJannett Photos by Jim Madigan

Jim

Madigan is a devoted Mopar pickup fan. In fact, if you travel to races or cruises in eastern Canada, you may have seen his white Dodge pickup at the event. Jim is a hard-core enthusiast and a member of the legendary Roadmates car club. After years driving his white pickup, Jim decided he needed a new ride. Something with more creature comforts and greatly improved safety features. Of course, being a Mopar fan, he wanted to start with another pickup from the Chrysler stable. His searches led to this 1940 Dodge pickup. A deal was

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made, and his new wheels arrived at the car club. Now, the Roadmates are serious builders, and they act as a true club. Members have a wide variety of skills, and they willingly work on each others projects. So, as the ‘40 moved through the different stages of the build, his members kept him on the straight and narrow with their help. Jim quickly noted that no one could do a project like this alone. “If it were not for all the help from Don McCartney, Art Hagner, Rick Norton and every other Roadmate, MIDASWEL would have never become

a reality. I appreciate their help, patience, parts, and advice. They all spent countless hours showing me the way and working on the project.” Amongst his other talents, Jim is an excellent photographer, thus he has kept a huge record of all the steps in his creation. So, take a trip through the photos to see the incredible detail that most will never notice, included in MIDASWEL. How did it get the name MIDASWEL? Originally, this was to be a quick refresh for a truck that was running, but when work began one of the helpers asked about the

The new project out in front of the house with Jim’s old time stock car behind. This is where it all began. Truck moved to the club garage ready for disassembly. They began with this extra original frame that needed some serious cleaning, before any real construction could begin. Frame has been sandblasted and cleaned up, might as well get started.

Frame was strengthened, tubular A-arms fitted, disk brakes installed and the rack and pinion steering fitted. Posi rear end mounts were fabricated, frame strengthened to accept rear coil springs. Rear coils installed, rear shocks mounted. Art Hagner fabricating the pickup bed from scratch. Once the layers of paint were removed this is what they faced. Decades of dents were repaired and holes filled. Rust sections replaced, dents removed and metal shaped. If you have to have the Dodge name in the tailgate you simply cut it from a donor panel and weld it into your new tailgate. Simple eh! Doc McCartney priming the finished parts, and Art is always ready to lend a welding hand.

frame. Jim noted he had another frame, so they “might as well” change the frame. That led to the same saying when going through the body was approached and the suspension modifications were decided upon and finally the engine choice was made. Jim had said “might as well” so many times, that was what it became.

•

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This is not a trailer queen, here is Jim in the Canada Day parade.

Lots of custom fabrication to fit everything neatly under the hood. Beautiful wood bed and chrome mounting strips, note the Roadmates medallion in the wood box.

You can see more of Jim Madiganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s photography on: jvm.smugmug.com or search for Roadmates Car Club on Facebook.

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Looks great, sits right, straight as an arrow and Jim has his own street!

The custom interior by Peter at Tack Upholstery has all the creature comforts Jim wanted. Note the stereo hidden in the glove box.

CONVERSIONS

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Photos by: Dave Thomas, Evan Pick & Bob McJannett

2017

was the third year for the combined motorsports and hot rod show and MOTORAMA really upped the ante. In addition to a whole building full of first time shown cars, the show had a wide variety of special guests, TV personalities and other car enthusiasts for the people attending to meet. From the moment the doors opened, the halls were filled with enthusiasts waiting for the weather to break, so they could all get out on the road or racetrack. Hats off to everyone who put this event together, it was definitely one of the best ever. Some of this years features were: Linda

Vaughn “The First Lady of Motorsport.” In her 50 some year career, Linda has turned her role as Miss Hurst Golden Shifter into a lifelong spokesperson for the performance industry. While at Motorama she was signing her new book for fans. Al Bergler was there with his 1964 Ridler award-winning AA/Comp Bantam-bodied front-motored dragster. His car was built in the days when NHRA was advertising “Ingenuity in Action,” long before the only difference with top fuel cars being the stickers and paint scheme. Great to see this car that he has kept and restored with care. Known as “the disciples of speed,”

the East London Timing Association or E.L.T.A. was the feature car club of the 2017 Motorama. These are true car enthusiasts, actively involved in all manner of Street and Race events, doing everything they can to promote our sport. Jessi Combs, kind of the everything girl. Active race car driver, fabricator, spokesperson for Lincoln Welders, TV personality and considered the fastest woman on four wheels. There were many other personalities on hand, too many for the space we have here. Check out some photos from the show and plan to attend in 2018.

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Enzo Covello won the $5,000 Motorama Grand Champion Award. His ‘Viper Red’ 1936 Ford ‘three window’ Coupe (above) features a 427 Big Block Chev topped with a 671 blower, a Turbo 400 transmission, Italian leather interior and American Racing Wheels.

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Photos By: Dave Thomas www.PerformanceImprovements.com

Photos By: Dave Thomas

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Stacey David Trusts Painless For His GearZ TV Projects.

June

9/19/14

12:59 PM

Photos By: Bob McJannett

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Performance in MOTION Photos By: Bob McJannett

Performance Directory

Never misss a Sale again!

Photos By: Evan Pick

Find out about the latest Performance Improvements Sales and Events by joining our e-mail newsletter.

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Grab rails The sticky metal bar you clutch for dear life on loop-de-loop roller coasters. High beams Expensive lamps used in fancy British homes during high tea.

he fluctuations between unseasonably warm temperatures and frost-inspiring chills aren’t just hard on choosing what to wear – it’s driving our beloved car nuts, um, nuts. Is it time to get that pampered ride back on the road? How about now? It’s enough to make reluctant passengers want to hit the mall again. Let’s face it: another cruise season is about to rear its large, boisterous head. And we need to be prepared for it. While drivers far and wide are busy in the garage, checking fluids, hoses and things that have to do with torque, we can brush up on our ability to clearly communicate with automotive enthusiasts. Back in February, I strolled through the Canadian International Auto Show to check things over and try out the cup holders in vehicles that require a lottery win to be affordable. It was also great to see a lovely collection of vintage rides, including a rarer-than-rare numbers-matching 1956 Monarch Richelieu. I may have forcefully pushed a bubblegum-popping child away from the display. Well, that’s what the officer’s report said. To help you prepare for cruise nights, shows and all those heady conversations about tires, timing and turbochargers, here’s a new crop of automotive terms, with what

I’m sure are the correct definitions, so you can show off your knowledge of all things automotive.*

Lane departure When you scoot over to the next line at the grocery store, thinking it’ll move faster.

Backup camera A video camera that records over the embarrassing moment it just filmed.

Ragtop A swept-over hairstyle favoured by some older men.

Blind-spot warning An alarm that goes off when you attempt to leave the house without looking in a mirror.

Roll cage A secure holding place for baked goods.

Custom cover When a band switches some of the lyrics to a popular song. Cruise control What happens when a bunch of people with OCD board a ship. Drag strip The type of wax used by men who like to dress up as Cher. Emissions test What your stomach goes through after a chili-eating competition. Fender skirts Skirts designed to cover particularly bulky thighs. Firewall Any large flat surface adorned with too many flame decals. Frame-off restoration What happens when your house appears on Love It or List It.

Rumble seats Where chili-eating competitors sit after the winner is announced. Usually a fair distance from spectators. Stabilizing bar A pub equipped with futons for patrons who can no longer sit or stand on their own. Trailer queen The mobile home owner with the biggest hair, the thickest eyeliner and the largest collection of velvet Elvis paint-by-number portraits. Tuned header A pedestrian listening so intently to his headphones that he doesn’t hear you honking at him. Now you’re good to go. There’s no need to thank me – I want you ready to deal with every vehicular virtuoso who crosses your path this driving season.

Enjoy the ride •

About the Author: Bonnie Staring is a comedic triple-threat (writer, performer, coupon user), and she appreciates the road of life a lot more than she might let on. Bonnie has plans to master social media one day, right after she learns how to machine rotors. www.bonniestaring.com * Please note that the words “correct” and “definitions” may have been used incorrectly in this sentence.

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Available at all Performance Improvements Speed Shops: Barrie 705-735-1274 Hamilton 905-574-6940 Toronto 416-259-9656 Brampton 905-453-9901 Oshawa 905-725-3533 Call Toll FREE 1-877-471-6700

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Sadly “Duke” Brown, President of the Roadmates Car Club since 1956, Judging Supervisor for ISCA Shows, owner/builder of Dukes Street Rods and an accredited appraiser with P.A.V.E. passed from all our lives December 30, 2016. I have been proud to call Duke my friend since the late 50s when we first met. Duke set the bar for us all. Great builder, true gentleman, always willing to offer his help and knowledge to anyone who asked. He will be greatly missed by any one of us who had the pleasure of knowing him. In “Duke’s” memory, donations to Trillium Health Partners Foundation, Oncology Department, would be appreciated by the family.

DEREK “DUKE” BROWN

RONTO

O T + A W A H S O + N O T IL M A H + N O BARRIE + BRAMPT

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