Vol: 4 Issue: 11
Hatour1727 / November 2010
ENCLOSED WITHIN FOUR WALLS By: Pope Shenouda III Spirituality in the desert or on the mountain, differs in its manner from spirituality in the city. One of the most troublesome factors for a worshipper in the city is being enclosed within four walls. I have experienced this myself when I was, some years ago, on a camp in a desert spot called Almaza, a few miles from Heliopolis. I used to go up a hill in that desert with one of my brethren in the Sunday Schools for prayer and meditation. From that spot, within the range of vision on the horizon, appeared Heliopolis, that splendid suburb with its buildings, streets, road construction and the inhabitants as a tiny insignificant thing . Only lights were visible from that altitude. We felt that our souls were set free from the limits of length, width and height, from splendour and magnificence, and from exaltation and elegance.. A splendid palace seemed to us the same as a small house, for nothing appeared as it was. We felt spiritual happiness and pleasure in sitting on the sand on that high hill, a happiness which we never felt in the city. When we returned to Cairo on a holiday, I tell you truly, my beloved brother, I was disturbed by this noisy capital (Cairo). I walked in the streets feeling an out-bursting volcano in my head caused by the clamour of people and the noise of cars, trams and various means of transport. I recognised amidst this noise that I would not be able to think in an orderly, systematic and uninterrupted way as I did while on that high hill.. When I closed the door of my room and stood to pray, I was unable. The four walls of the room seemed a strong barrier which prevented me from enjoying God. So, I did not pray but I came out of my room and walked very far away trying to find a quiet high spot where no buildings existed and where few inhabitants and little civilisation was found. After nearly an hour, I found a place which had a little of my requirement. I returned home depressed and longing for my high hill again. The months of the camp ended and we returned to the city
where I was forced to get used to pray within the four walls. Yet the memories of the high hill remained in my mind till now... To make up partly for this, I used to go up with my young friends after the Sunday lesson to the roof of the church to have a look on Cairo. We saw it from there also, in the darkness of the evening, nothing could be seen except the shadows of buildings with their white spots of light. Your spirit, my beloved brother, wants to be set free, to fly like a bird which flies from one branch to another. It wants to be like the angels who are always singing praise to God without any bonds or restrictions. If you cannot attain this constantly, at least let this be on certain occasions. This makes me imagine that meditation can be reached more easily and deeply by sailors, farmers and inhabitants of the mountains and deserts. I imagine also that we shall have the same ability when we get rid of the bonds of the body and go high into heaven where God, the angels and the saints are. I discussed this matter with my father the monk and he revealed to me another spiritual, experience.. He told me how, at the beginning of his monastic life, he was secluded in his cell for twenty eight days encompassed within four walls seeing no one and dealing with no one. He spent that period in hard struggle between himself and God. It was really a hard time in which his soul was sifted but at last the spirit was able to come out free from its numerous bonds and get to God. Thereafter, the monk came out of his cell feeling that it was the same to him, to be encompassed within walls or to be free out of walls. At this point, I reveal to you a deeper and more sublime level of spirituality.. The first level was feeling bored within the four walls.. but the next level is to be unaware of the four walls.. In this case you sit in your room so absorbed in your prayers, meditations or readings that you are no longer aware of anything around you. You live in another world beyond the senses. So, you do not know whether you are in your room or in an open space in the monastery and whether your cell has walls or not. You do not even know whether heaven has come down to you on earth or you went up to heaven while still on earth. I wonder how some think of monasticism as a Way for ministry while I see it only as a way to heaven. In monasticism seclusion, contemplations, and continuous striving help the spirit to be released and united with God.
A Group of Youth From St Abanoub Church Spending a retreat at the Monastery
Page 2
A Group of girls from Archangel Michael Church, Spending the day at the Monastery
Escaping to the desert A young man desired to renounce and abandon the world, and many times set off to fulfil his desire. However, as soon as he would get outside the city to leave for the monastery, his decision would be overturned by thoughts suggesting to him that he supposedly had first to take care of certain necessary matters, since this young man was also wealthy. Now, one day he undertook anew to fulfil his desire and resolutely departed from the city. As usual, however, he was again possessed by temptations, which, in order to obstruct him and make him turn back, darkened his mind with sundry thoughts. As soon as he realized the warring force of these thoughts, and having no other way in which to react against them, he started to undress and to cast off from himself all his clothes, running naked to reach the monastery quickly. God then revealed to an Elder who knew the youth, and to whom he was so furiously running, the youth's intentions and said to him: "Arise, in order to welcome my athlete." Indeed, the elder went out of his cell to go meet the youth. When he learned of the entire matter, he welcomed the victor with kindness and immediately considered him worthy of the Monastic Schema. After this, whenever monks would visit the elder to ask him about their temptations, he would answer accordingly, if the thoughts concerned other matters; but if they referred to matters of renouncing the world, he would send them over to his disciple and say to them: "Ask the brother about these matters." From: The Evergetinos
Page 3
God of my Silence By: Fr Antonios Kaldas “Silence your lips that your heart may speak… Silence your heart that God may speak…” - The Spiritual Elder How I miss the silence. It was pleasant sunny winter’s day in ancient Wadi Natroun, the ancient desert abode of the Christian monks of Egypt. I was a newly ordained priest halfway through my 40 day retreat before returning to my family and my home to begin parish service. I spied out the little doorway in the wall of the monastery and found it unlocked. Through some barns and fields ebbing with the sounds and smells of cows and goats, down a little path and I was out in the desert. Before me, only a creamy yellowness. Yellowness of sand, yellowness of rocks, yellowness of distant dots that are the cells of hermits … yellowness broken only by the horizon … above which a deep, deep sky blue unmarked by a single cloud. I turned my back to the walls of the monastery and began to walk. After a few minutes, the animal smells and sounds were behind me, except for the occasional plaintive heehaw of a stubborn donkey in the distance. An hour later, I felt I was the only thing alive in my world and the monastery was no more than a low flat line near the horizon. Another hour and a half of walking, and I felt utterly, utterly alone. I stopped. I listened. Silence. I closed my eyes and focused all my attention on the sensation of hearing. For the first time in my life, I heard the sound of … nothing. It is an experience I have never been able to repeat. Some years ago I returned to St Bishoy’s Monastery and tried to find my way out into that silence, but a huge wall had been built around the monastery’s lands to stop squatters from invading and taking it by force of occupation. I was locked in! And finding my way out from another exit only led me to huts and farmland where previously there had been only desert sand. The inexorable spread of humanity is eating away at the desert. No doubt the vast silence is still out there, but alas – too far for my feet to take me there! Many times I have tried to find that silence in the Australian bush, in the countryside, but there is just too much life in this place, and life means sound. Perhaps, somewhere out in the Gibson Desert or near the Olgas one might find that absolute silence? Page 4
Why should anyone desire silence? For many, silence is identified with death, sound with life. Who wants death? I do. In the stillness of the silent desert, I experienced what it really means to have no distractions. The silence seeped not only into my ears, but my very soul. My spirit was stilled; all its constant chatter, its complaint, its judging, its anger fell silent. My sense of knowing and understanding the world fell silent. My sense of self-importance fell silent (out here, what does a human being matter?) All these constant companions who so easily distract me from perceiving my Maker were gently silenced, sedated temporarily if not put to death permanently, and I opened my heart and my mind to the God of my silence. The joy was indescribable. The peace, transcendent. Incredibly, in this deathly silence, I felt more alive than any other time in my life. We find it easiest in prayer to speak, hardest to listen. Doubts flood in: “You’re crazy! What are you listening for? God will not speak to you! If someone saw you they’d think you insane.” We feel better when we speak, for we want to be heard. No one listens these days, and here is a captive audience – God has to listen to me. It is true, He wants to listen to me. But I think, He also wants me to listen to Him. It is very hard to listen when you are speaking. Equally hard to listen when there is noise in the background. To hear God’s voice, we need to stop speaking and pay attention, and we need to silence the chatter of our minds. There is great peace to be found in emptying one’s thoughts, laying aside all that presses of the world’s cares, and just … listening. If the desert is inaccessible to me, there is always the closed room, the empty church, the sunny garden. Places that make it easier to listen… To listen to the God of my Silence… (From: Fr Antonios Blog at www.frantonios.org.au)
A Group of youth From Exodus Spending the day at the Monastery Page 5
In Praise of the Desert By: Eucherius Bishop of Lyon I would say that the desert deserves to be called a temple of our God without walls. Since it is clear that God dwells in silence, we must believe that he loves the solitary expanses of the desert. Very often he has let himself be seen there by his saints; he willingly meets with people in favorable places such as the desert. In the desert Moses gazed upon God until his face shone with glory. In the desert Elijah covered his face for fear of seeing God. Although God is present everywhere, and regards the whole world as his domain, we may believe that his preferred place is the solitudes of heaven and of the desert. The story is told that someone once asked a wise man where he could be sure to find God. The wise man told his questioner to come along where he would lead him, and together they went into the solitude of the open desert. ‘Behold’, he said:, ‘this is where God is’. God is more promptly believed to be there, since he is more easily found there. At the beginning of creation when God created all things according to his wisdom and differentiated individual things in such a way that each would be suited to its future use, he did not leave the desert places of the world without honor; still, their worth was not immediately evident. I am convinced that God, in foreknowledge of the future, prepared the desert for the saints to come. I believe he wanted some parts of the world to be rich in the fruits of agriculture and other parts, with drier climate, to abound with holy men. In this way the desert would bear fruit. When he watered the hills from the heights above, the valleys were filled with plentiful crops. And he planned to endow the sterile deserts with inhabitants, lest any land go to waste… Moses was tending his flock in the depths of the desert when in the distance he saw God gloriously in a shining fire that burned without consuming. Not only did he see God; he heard him speaking. The Lord commanded Moses to take off his sandals and then called the desert holy, saying, ‘The place where you stand is holy ground’. The merit and dignity of the desert had been hidden until that public pronouncement. Then God confirmed the sanctity of the place by making a holy covenant there. In my opinion, the lesson implicit here is that those who approach the desert should first unblock the path of their lives from the obligations of their previous concerns. They should proceed to the desert only when they have taken off the sandals that impeded them, so that they will not profane the sacred place. It was there in the desert that Moses first conversed with God. He received God's words and spoke to him in reply. He asked questions and was instructed about what to do and say. He conferred with the Lord of Heaven in ordinary speech. It was there that Moses acquired a staff powerful in miraculous… Page 6
In the desert that nation (Israel) was sustained and favored by miracles. They lived on strange food, unexpected water, and clothing that never wore out. The very garments that clothed their bodies were miraculously preserved. Anything necessary that the nature of the land could not provide was supplied by the visible beneficence of God. Scarcely any of the saints have attained such gifts of heavenly grace. It is rightly said of this people, ‘The Lord has not dealt thus with any other nation’. The Lord gave them special favors and granted them unheard of things when he nourished his people with his divine gifts in the desert. All these events are recorded as a sign of what happens to us, for the outward appearance of things shines with hidden mysteries. They were all baptised in Moses, in the cloud and in the sea, and they all ate the spiritual food and drank the spiritual drink. Nevertheless, these symbolic events remain true realities in themselves. So the desert still deserves to be praised even if the things done there must be understood as referring to deep mysteries. Grace is not offended in the least, even when we interpret that condition of body and incorruptibility of clothing as the ideal of eternal life. It was by the sheer gift of grace that the kind of happiness the blessed enjoy in the age to come was already possessed in the desert by those people in the present age… Could the children of Israel not have come to the promised land without first living in the desert? In order for that people to take possession of the land ‘flowing with milk and honey’, they first had to possess this parched and sterile wilderness. From the dwelling places in the desert, the road lies always open to our true homeland. Let those who desire to see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living, take up their residence in an uninhabitable wasteland. Let those who strive to become citizens of Heaven be guests first of the desert. ( From: Tim Vivian, The Lives of the Jura Fathers, Cistercian Publication)
H.G. Bishop Tadros’s visit to the Monastery Page 7
Left: A Group of Sunday School boys from St Barbra Church spending a retreat at the Monastery
Right: A Group of Girls from St Abraam Church Spending the day at the Monastery
Left: A Group of years 9 & 10 boys from Archangel Michael Church spending a retreat at the Monastery Page 8