16 minute read
From the Editor
My wife Heather and I had a morning wedding. I have no idea why we chose the morning versus the evening, but it may have had something to do with the availability of the church. We were married in Hartford, Connecticut, at St. Patrick–St. Anthony Parish, which is the oldest Catholic Church in the Nutmeg State. I wore an ascot tie and a jacket with tails. It seemed like the thing to do for a morning ceremony, and I have to say I felt pretty stylish. Later, I would learn that the ascot tie emerged in early 19th century Britain and is named after a highbrow horserace called the Royal Ascot. Men were required to wear the tie and a tailcoat jacket, also known as a morning coat, to the race. Queen Anne hosted the first Royal Ascot in 1711 and the royal family has hosted the event ever since. Fashion, and being seen, were as much of a sport as the horse race, and that tradition lives on today.
The Gilded Age brought fashion to entirely new heights. Women’s dresses were incredibly elaborate and artistic, while stiff-postured men stuck to the ubiquitous white tie, white vest and black tail coat. That is, until the mid1860s when the Prince of Wales—the future King Edward VII—asked Savile Row tailor Henry Poole to make him an outfit for more casual dinners. Poole created a blue, tailless “smoking jacket” with matching pants. It was the first of its kind.
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Several years later, American millionaire James Brown Potter, while visiting England, saw the Prince of Wales wearing the jacket and brought the fashion back to New York, where he lived in a small, exclusive enclave in the Hudson Valley called Tuxedo Park. Potter wore the jacket to the Tuxedo Club Autumn Ball in 1886 and a men’s formal wear revolution had begun.
The word tuxedo comes from the indigenous Lenape word p’tuxseepu, which means crooked river, having nothing to do with fashion. The popularity of the tuxedo has ebbed and flowed over the decades, just like the waters its named after, but the style has never gone away. The 1960s gave rise to some interesting alterations to the outfit, from frilled shirts to bold-colored ties, but, overall, the classic black tie, white shirt and tailless jacket remains the go-to formal wear for men. And really, would James Bond look better in anything else?
Today, men have license to mix the traditional with the modern, and they’re coming up with some fanastic trends in the process. I’ll be curious to see if the wooden bow tie has the same longevity as the tux.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2023
PUBLISHER/EDITOR Greg Girard greg@pinehurstlivingmagazine.com
PUBLISHER/CREATIVE DIRECTOR Amanda Jakl amanda@pinehurstlivingmagazine.com
ADVERTISING SALES Amanda Jakl amanda@pinehurstlivingmagazine.com
GRAPHIC DESIGN Steve Jordan
COPY EDITOR William C. Nelson
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Robert Gable, Amelia Kirkland, Sundi McLaughlin, Melissa McPeake, Dolores Muller, Robert Nason, Ray Owen, Sassy Pellizzari, Helen Ross, Nicole Smith, Whitney Weston, Colon Wood
PHOTOGRAPHY Amanda Jakl, Moore County Historical Association, Tufts Archives
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THE VENUE OF YOUR DREAMS By MELISSA MCPEAKE, Owner, Village Pine Venue
For many wedding couples, choosing where you want to hold the special day is how their wedding dreams begin. It is a foundational decision for any wedding plan, and typically all other preparations work off of the venue choice. Venue availability, however, can be limited and options book fast. Doing as much research online before you contact the venues can help tremendously, and can eliminate options from your list. To help you expedite the venue selection process, here are some key questions to start with before you make that reservation.
First and foremost, is your date available and how important is your wedding date? If you’re flexible and looking more for a particular season, then you’ll have more venues to choose from. If you have a specific date in mind, it’s worth contacting the venue at the start of your process to make sure that date is available. And remember, it’s advisable to only book the other vendors (flowers, photographer, music, etc.) after you have booked the location. Once you know your date, ask if the date can be held. Many venues will not hold dates and will require a signed contract and deposit.
OK, now that your date is set, let’s look at a list of questions you’ll need to ask when talking to the venue:
How many people can the venue
accommodate? Knowing this will narrow down the choices, according to the number of people you can and need to invite.
Does the venue have a Preferred
Vendor List? Some venues require you to hire and work from their preferred vendor list. These vendors have been vetted and approved by the venue in order to maintain the venue’s standards, quality and integrity. These are usually people and businesses that are already familiar with the venue and know what will work and what won’t.
Does the venue provide in-house catering or does it require an outside
caterer? Some venues handle food and will provide menu and budget options. Some will allow an outside caterer. And some may allow you to bring your own food without a qualified caterer. Also, ask about the kitchen setup for your caterer. Is it a full kitchen or a prep kitchen?
Who handles beer, wine and liquor?
This may be provided as an add-on by the venue, as part of your catering package, or you may be able to just BYOL it to the premises. There can also be legal questions about who can serve alcohol, so make sure those are clearly explained to you. And then make sure to ask if you’ll need a mobile bar, or whether there is a stationary bar on site.
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THE VENUE OF YOUR DREAMS
What type of insurance and permits
are necessary? Oftentimes, venues will require event insurance, ABC permits, town event permits, etc. These will protect both you and the venue, so make sure you discuss your options and what is required. Parking and transportation. Most venues have limited parking areas and it may be necessary to provide a transportation service for your guests. You may also want to consider hiring a parking attendant or valet.
What is included in your venue
package? No one wants to show up at their reception to discover there are no tables or chairs. Tables, chairs, decor, tableware, tablecloths, dance floor, all of these are necessary but may not be part of the venue’s package. Knowing what is included or what may be an additional expense will help with your budget allotment.
The timeline for the day is
important. What hours do you have access to the venue? Is it available for a rehearsal? Is there a cutoff time for music? Is there a specific hour for last call? When do your vendors need to have their stuff cleaned up and out?
Is there a place to get ready the day
of? Bridal suite, groom suite, wedding party suites, hair and makeup space … having a venue with these rooms available will simplify your day and provide a space to hang your dress, enjoy a snack and drink, relax between pictures and spend time with your wedding party.
Are there ceremony locations on site?
Where are they located? What do those look like? What is the rain plan? Do you need additional seating for the service?
What is permitted in your decor
and send-off plan? Are floating floral arrangements allowed? Can draping be done from the rafters? Is glitter allowed? Are candles allowed? Can you use confetti or sparklers upon departure? Are fireworks allowed at the venue and does the town or county permit them? Clean-up. No one wants an abundance of cleaning at the end of their reception, so what is the plan for this? Does the venue clean? Is there a cleaning fee? Does the trash need to be hauled off? Make sure both you and your vendors are aware of the rules and responsibilities. Contract. Now that you’ve found the perfect location and all of your questions have been answered, make sure what you want, need and expect are included in the contract. Ask the following questions:
• How much is the venue and what does their a la carte menu look like? • Is the venue within your budget? • What extras are included and what must you provide? • What is the deposit amount? • What is the payment plan? • What is the security deposit and what does it cover?
Also, be sure to have the funds ready and available before speaking with venues. Many venues will not hold dates and will require a signed contract and deposit once you’ve made your decision.
Most venues will not let you cancel, either, or they won’t let you cancel without a cancellation fee. Make sure the cancellation process and fees are clearly stated in the contract.
Whew, we know, it’s a lot. Hopefully, though, these guidelines will assist you in making this a streamlined, stress-free process, and help make the venue of your dreams a wedding success! PL
Photo credit Jennifer B. Photography
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You’ve popped the question, you’ve set the date, you’ve chosen the venue. Now it’s time to look the part. While the ladies have always had near limitless choices, the men seem to be a bit more subdued. But that’s changing! Whether you’re opting for a formal affair that calls for a tuxedo or a more casual setting where a blazer would suffice, make sure you do it in style. Yes, that even applies to jeans. Here are a few points to make your special day special:
It’s not one-size-fits-all
Just rent a tux, right? Sorry, but groom’s outfit requires a little more thought than that. There are some standards you must meet as the second most significant guest at the wedding. There is also a small learning curve if you don’t regularly wear a suit to work and aren’t familiar with the newest trends in men’s fashion. Find someone who can measure you correctly to ensure the best fit, whether you are renting or buying (I always suggest starting local). Select a suit shape based on your frame, not on what’s in style. A slim-fit suit will not work on a bigger frame, just as a traditional suit isn’t ideal for a tall, lanky body. A well-fitted, well-tailored suit will make any body shape look good. The “trend” will come in the colors, the shirt and the accessories.
Memorable, not flashy
Unless you’ve already discussed it with your bride, aim to be memorable, but avoid the flash. Stay clear of bright colors unless this was agreed upon. If you’ll be wearing a suit, grays are still on trend, but rich blues and deep greens are starting to pop up. Natural fabrics are still very on trend. Avoid polyester, as it looks tacky and is incredibly uncomfortable, which will undoubtedly show in photos. If you want something a little more daring, try an understated plaid, tweed, a doublebreasted suit (an ’80s favorite) or even velvet. Again, though, neutral colors preferred. Ideally, the groom should stand out from his groomsmen. So, make sure you either are in a different color or fabric suit or have an accessory that differentiates you.
It’s the little things
Now that you’ve chosen your suit or tuxedo, it’s time to choose the accessories. You can be a little more bold with some more than others. Pick a patterned pocket square, or choose a tie with an interesting texture. Even the tie pin can have some flair.
It never hurts to allow some of your accessories to mirror your bride’s as well. For example, if your bride is wearing blue earrings, wear blue cufflinks or a blue tie pin. Socks can be a little more silly since they won’t be as visible. Consider a personalized pair for the big day. Belts can offer a way to add texture without much fuss. Neckwear can be a traditional tie, but choose an unusual knot like the Eldredge knot or the Trinity knot, to stand out a bit. Bow ties are another classic choice, but choose an unusual material. Wood and feather bow ties are now available and look really fun.
Make your own tradition
While the bride has “something new, something borrowed, something blue,” the groom doesn’t seem to have anything fun, rhyming or not. How about starting your own tradition? Ask the oldest person from each side of the family— grandfather, uncle, cousin—to give you a pair of cufflinks for you to wear in the wedding. Wear one from each set to represent the joining of two families. Make sure to ask in person, though, this isn’t time for an email or a text. The family members will be greatly honored to be included in the big day; plus you get two great sets of cufflinks and a tradition to pass on.
Don’t re-invent the wheel
While there should be something fun and unexpected in your wedding planning, reinventing style terms for your invitations shouldn’t be one of them. (Think New York Beach Attire, Cocktails in the Rain or Southern Formal.) Let’s be honest, no one knows what those terms mean so you’re more likely to get guests who show up looking out of place. If you want to avoid your guests looking like they took a style page from Cheech and Chong, tell the guys what you want them to wear. Either use specific language—a tux, a suit and tie, a sport coat and jeans—or use the classic terms that are easy to Google, like white tie, black tie, black tie optional, semiformal or cocktail. It will be less confusing for everyone and your guests can focus on celebrating you and not feeling out of place because of their wardrobe. PL
LOCAL WEDDING CELEBRATIONS
April 23, 2022
Kay & Thomas
Photographer: Tricia Michael Photography Venue: Soiree on South Hair & Makeup: Sunshine Beauty and Bliss Caterer: Genuine Hospitality Catering Florist: Jack Hadden Floral Dessert: The Bakehouse Bridal Gown: David’s Bridal Bridemaids Attire: David’s Bridal Invitations: Shutterfly Favors: Etsy
June 4, 2022
Danielle & Alston
Photographer: Jennifer B. Photography Venue: Little River Hair: Fallon McNeil Makeup: Anna Rowland Caterer: Fore All Occasions Florist: Hillside Florist Cake: Elisha’s Edible Addictions Planner: Demi & Missy Music: DJ Trae
Photo by Jennifer B. Photography
June 18, 2022
Julie & Jake
Photographer: Kaitlyn Blake Photography Ceremony: Sacred Heart Church Hair: Kayla Beauty Makeup: Priscilla Beauty Caterer & Cake: Elliott’s on Linden Florist: Hollyfield Design Bridal Gown: Martina Liana Bridal Jewelry: Olive & Piper Jewelry Videography: Single Story Film
Chynna & Elijah
Photographer: Whitney Duggins Photography Venue: Fair Barn Hair: Carly Lambert West Makeup: Lexie Allred Caterer: The House of Odell and Luella Florist: Jack Hadden Floral Planner: The Gathering Co. Bar: Johnny’s Bartending / The Bar Czar Rentals: Ward Productions Officiant: Curtis Barbery DJ: The Pefect Beat
September 24, 2022
Bailey & Barrett
Photographer: Jennifer B. Photography Venue: Forest Creek Country Club Hair & Makeup: Donna Lee Cake: C. Cups Cupcakery Planner: Brooks & Reid Florist: Jack Hadden Floral Dress: Gilded Bridal Livestream: LoveStream Music: The Perfect Beat Officiant: Scott Marx
