Healthy Choices

PL Healthy Choices

Break that Routine ... For a Bit

By amelia kirkland

I’ve just returned from visiting my adult children in the Northeast. A 3,000-mile round trip with 90+ degree weather, and 10 days of living out of a suitcase can teach you some things. Travel is hard. You have to train for it!

Don’t get me wrong; I love seeing my children, but I am so happy that they’ve grown up to be responsible, independent adults, which means I’m not sorry when it’s time to go back home and get back into my routine.

In addition to traveling for pleasure, I’ve done a bit of business travel lately. The relative opening of society since the global pandemic has me back on the road. At first, travel was limited, but now, even with flight delays or extended layovers, things seem to be getting back to normal.

What does travel have to do with a healthy lifestyle?

When you’re in a routine, remaining healthy is not so hard. That’s why it’s called a routine. They say that building a habit takes 21 days, so if you’ve lived in the same place for at least that long, and put forth a little effort, chances are that you’re fairly successful. But what happens when you are taken out of that routine? How can you set yourself up for success when you are in a strange place, sleeping in a strange bed and eating strange food?

I’ve pondered this question for a long time. Years ago, I tried to transport my routine with me. I took my own pillow, loaded the car with lots of my own food, and insisted that my normal mealtimes and bedtimes be strictly followed. What I’ve learned is that this amount of rigidity can cause friction with others, and it can hinge on an unhealthy mindset. The problem is that rigidity causes stress and stress is bad for you. It’s bad for your mind and your body. The scientific community has told us that stress is as bad for you as smoking. It took me a long time to realize that the very things that brought me comfort and good health at home were preventing me from having the same when I’m away.

What did I do about it? I recognized the problem. The first thing is to note and internalize that healthy routines can be life-affirming. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water and live completely by the seat of your pants. The key is moderation and flexibility. For a Type A person

like me, this is hard. For instance, on the last night of our trip when my daughter suggested that we go get ice cream at 10 p.m., my first thought was, “Ugh, all that sugar … and so late? You’ve got to be kidding me.” But before I could weigh my response, my husband said, “All right, let’s go!” There you have it—a man after his daughter’s heart. He knew I’d never agree to this on my own, so he was gently reminding me that this is VACATION and we would not be making a habit of consuming sugary treats at bedtime once we got home.

The second key is to give yourself and those around you grace. It’s easy to adopt a “holier-than-thou” attitude with your healthy decisions. But that can become toxic and alienating when your opinions and habits encroach on someone else’s freedom of choice. This is what I like to call perspective. You can create perspective and change perspective at any time. Sometimes we get tunnel vision about what we think is right and we can’t see an alternate reality that allows for an equally pleasant and desirable outcome.

One of the kids keeps different hours than I do, staying up later and rising later than I prefer. I must allow her the grace to live as she has chosen and embrace that the time spent with her, even in the midnight hour, is more valuable than sticking to my normal bedtime. Telling myself that this is acceptable changed my whole outlook.

Lastly, I think we need to look at why we are so rigid with our routines. For me, it is because I feel like they work. In other words, my bedtime, my food choices and my exercise routine keep me healthy, feeling good and avoiding illness. There are limits, however, to what these things can do if they induce stress. That’s the balance here. Fear of failure, the fear of getting off track and the fear of not knowing what will come next are huge stressors. As we get older, it’s natural to let routines guide us. They are comfortable. But just occasionally, it’s OK to let go. It’s OK to feel slightly out of control and embrace the freedom of having ice cream at 10 p.m. or laughing with your kid until the wee hours of the morning.

PL

Amelia Kirkland has been an advocate for good health for more than 30 years. She is the founder of The Helpful Plate (thehelpfulplate.com), a company committed to empowering people to lead fulfilling, healthy lives. She is an avid cyclist, runner and student of Pilates.

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