Out of t he Blue By Debora h Sa lomon

Simply Surviving

Two years of get t ing b y

By deBor a h Sa l omon March marks

two years we have battled the pandemic, in several iterations. It has consumed news broadcasts and changed our lives, from how we purchase toilet paper (in laughable quantities) to how we celebrate holidays (in small groups, if at all) to how we recreate (forget movies, concerts, plays . . . hello, Scrabble and Hulu). Politicians are rated on COVID policies rather than stabilizing the economy. The absence of classroom learning may leave an indelible effect on children.

Hopef ully, I’m not the only sur vivor whose weathered eye longs for better days and simpler things.

T his began a few months ago, when I star ted watching season t wo of PBS Master piece T heater’s All Creatures Great and Small. I rejected the first season as borderline cor ny, cer tainly not therapeutic. T he (tr ue) stor y beg ins when a newly minted vet f rom Glasgow ar r ives in the beautif ul and serene York shire dales, just before World War II unleashes hell on Europe. He’s a plain lad with sincere blue eyes and a sweet smile. T he haircut alone — shor t at the nape, Br ylcreemed on top — establishes chronolog y. A romance ensues with a far ming lass with a thick wav y mane, just enough meat on her bones, a for thr ight manner and the smile of an or thodontist’s daughter. Simple. Relatable. Ref reshing.

Now, into season t wo, I watch each episode at least three times — a balm on eyes hardened by the blood and gore streaming, literally, f rom ambulator y cor pses interspersed by real-life star ving children, wildfires, floods, tor nadoes, insur rections, shootings.

Simple thr ives in the k itchen. Work ing f rom home, I crave homemade soup, mainly vegg ie beef made with chuck and a rainbow of vegetables. I call it sustenance soup, just as good for break fast as lunch. T hen, yellow split peas with g rated car rot, potato and onion simmered with a smoked t urkey leg. Dunk a hunk of stale ar tisan bread. A hhh . . .

T hick. F lavor f ul. Simple.

Take- out sushi, pizza, tacos, egg rolls, nuggets, burgers get old fast. Soup is forever.

Simplif y communication? Ma Bell must be tossing in her tomb. Cellphones are a miracle r ivaling the light bulb. People live or die by their cells, which star ted out simple flips, prog ressed to “smar t,” lately mini- computers. I lear ned f rom pr iests of the faith that texting has over taken email, voice mail and direct conversation. W hich means people text recipients reachable other wise, eliminating the human voice by choice. Makes sense when the caller is a robot, because only a robot would not wor r y about 5G technolog y interfer ing, perhaps even endanger ing, commercial aircraf t. God forbid a crash blamed on improved texting. T he same applies to the automobile — another landmark invention providing a comfor table, safe, relatively simple means of getting f rom Point A to Point B. Now, urban apar tment- dwellers not involved with spor ts or transpor ting loads are dr iven to dr ive SU Vs instead of simple sedans, hatchback s or stations wagons because . . . ?

You tell me.

Some accoutrements, like cameras watching the dog sleep in the back seat, seem dangerously distracting. Fig ur ing out which button to push for the ice dispenser ( just k idding) is problematic, not to mention the button that t ur ns on the oven (not k idding) when you’re 10 miles f rom home.

T he battle to simplif y can be exhausting for ordinar y folk who don’t live f rom iPhone to iPhone. I’m happy with a car that simply delivers and an oven that bakes. F lip phones did the job. I will never be convinced that air-f r ied chicken threatens Colonel Sanders. Even if I won the lotter y I would not buy a W hiskers Litter Robot WiFi Enabled Automatic Self- Cleaning Cat Litter Box, its of ficial name, for $549. Because cats are smar ter than humans; if my t wo boycotted an unfamiliar litter brand heaven k nows how they would react to a box that talk s back.

I am not a crotchet y old lady resisting prog ress while glamor izing the good old days before residential air conditioning and no -iron sheets. I’m all for vaccinations, organ transplants, solar power, even SU Vs for large soccer-playing families with Great Danes. But I’m not about to f r y an egg on my cellphone or let a self-propelled whirling der vish vacuum my floors.

You couldn’t buy me a ticket on Sir R ichard Branson’s Virg in Galactic.

Because in times of trouble, simple conveys stable, at least until the cr isis passes.

So go ahead . . . scoop your hummus, goat cheese, root beer and bubble g um flavored ice cream. I’ve rediscovered vanilla.

A nd ain’t it ever good. PS

D eb o rah S al o m o n i s a w r it e r fo r P i ne S t r aw an d T he P i lot . Sh e m ay b e re a ch e d at d ebs al o m o n@ n c.r r.c o m .