PineNeed ler By Mar t Dickerson

October PineNeedler SCARY! Scary!

By M a rt Dick er son

ACROSS

1. Give a lift 4. Literally, “dwarf dog” 9. Check (out) 14. “Come again?” 15. Ancient Greek theater 16. Salad oil or wine holder 17. Female rower 19. Main blood carrier 20. ___ dictum 21. Quaint accommodations 23. Baby eel 24. Horse hair 26. Big apes 30. Abstruse 31. Far down 33. Unicellular organisms 35. Animal house 36. Ingratiate 39. Encloses deeply 41. “Malcolm X” director 42. WW1 “U-Boat alley” (2 wds) 46. The act of fooling oneself (hyph) 48. Tub 52. Cleveland’s lake 53. “Cool!” 54. Aleppo’s land 55. Gobs 57. Train cars 58. Dutch bulb 61. Haphazard or unplanned (3 wds) 64. “ You ___ kidding!” 65. Eyes, in anatomy 66. Zero 67. Backwoods, middle of nowhere 68. Orchestra section 69. Charlotte-to-Raleigh dir.

DOWN

1. Cried like a baby 2. Liable to seek justice in court (var) 3. Flourish 4. Show fear 5. Aroma 6. “Losing My Religion” rock group 7. ___ few rounds (2 wds) 8. Baseball sections 9. Get a computer picture 10. ____, Stills, Nash and

Young 11. “___ Gang” 12. House animal 13. In-flight info, for short 18. Treeless plain 22. Tidiest 24. “ Welcome” site 25. “Gimme ___!” (start of an

Iowa State cheer, 2 wds) 27. Helper 28. Reser ved a room or airline ticket 29. Grannies, in slang 31. Barrage, as rain 32. Finger, in a way 34. Bust, so to speak 36. “... or ___!” 37. At no time, poetically 38. Sandwich shop 40. Post WWII birth rate 43. Skating extravaganza (2 wds) 44. Ocean 45. Best seller 47. Cat 49. Garlic-smelling toxic gas 50. Relates to (2 wds) 51. Annoyance

Across 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

BOO

1. Give a lift 14 15 16 4. Literally, "dwarf dog" 9. Check (out) 17 18 19 14. "Come again?" 20 21 22 15. Ancient Greek theater 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 16. Salad oil or wine holder BOO 17. Female rower 30 31 32 19. Main blood carrier 33 34 35 20. ___ dictum 21. Quaint 36 37 38 39 40 accommodations 41 42 43 44 45 23. Baby eel 24. Horse hair 46 47 48 49 50 51 26. Big apes 52 53 54 30. Abstruse 55 56 57 31. Far down BOO 33. Unicellular organisms 58 59 60 61 62 63 35. Animal house 64 65 66 36. Ingratiate 67 68 69 39. Encloses deeply BOO 41. "Malcolm X" director 42. WW1 "U-Boat alley" (2 54. Eastern dress attire wds) 56. Chooses, with “for” 46. The act of fooling 57. Chilly oneself ( hyph) 58. Bar bill 48. Tub 59. Ashes holder 52. Cleveland's lake 60. Hawaiian necklace 53. "Cool!" 62. Here, in French 63. Keg or vat 54. Aleppo's land 55. Gobs 57. Train cars 58. Dutch bulb 61. Haphazard or unplanned ( 3 wds) 64. "You ___ kidding!" 65. Eyes, in anatomy 66. Zero 67. Backwoods, middle of nowhere 68. Orchestra section 69. Charlotte-to-Raleigh dir.

Down

1. Cried like a baby 2. Liable to seek justice in court,( Var) 3. Flourish 4. Show fear 5. Aroma 6. "Losing My Religion" rock group 7. ___ few rounds ( 2 wds) 8. Baseball sections 9. Get a computer picture 10. ____,Stills, Nash and Young 11. "___ Gang" 12. House animal 13. In-flight info, for short 18. Treeless plain 22. Tidiest 24. "Welcome" site 25. "Gimme ___!" (start of an Iowa State cheer, 2 wds)) 27. Helper 28. Reserved a room or airline ticket 29. Grannies, in slang 31. Barrage, as rain 32. Finger, in a way 34. Bust, so to speak 36. "... or ___!" 37. At no time, poetically 38. Sandwich shop 40. Post WW11 birth rate 43. Skating extravaganza, (2 wds) 44. Ocean 45. Best seller 47. Cat 49. Garlic-smelling toxic gas 50. Relates to, (2 wds) 6 51. Annoyance 8 9 54. 56. Eastern dress attire Chooses, with "for" 4 1 3 4 57. Chilly9 58. Bar bill 7 59. Ashes holder 5 3 60. Hawaiian necklace 4 2 62. Here, in FrenchSudok u: 63. Keg or vat8 6 4

Fi l l in t he g r id so

ever y row, ever y 9 4 5 8

c olu m n a nd ever y

P uzzle answers on page 130 3x 3 box c ont a in t he 1 5Mar t Dickerson lives in Southern Pines and welcomes

nu mbers 1-9.

suggestions from her fellow puzzle masters. She can be 7 1 9reached at mar taroonie@gmail.com.

On a Wig and a Prayer

By JiM Mor i a rt y When the occasion warrants,

I’ve been known to dress in women’s clothes. I’m not going to blame genetics entirely for this but it’s an established fact that my eldest brother — the one with the Ivy League law degree who clerked on the United States Supreme Court — once performed a musical number in drag at a 137-year-old Boston club that, on a separate occasion, had entertained Winston Churchill at dinner. My brother did allow as how the entire affair was a bit embarrassing, though given his singing voice, I’m not sure which part would have been the most mortifying.

W hile my loca l club, the Bit ter and Tw isted, never, to the best of my k nowledge, hosted a Br itish pr ime minister, I have appeared behind the bar there in fema le cost ume. It may have happened more than once. One par ticular evening it was for a holiday f undraiser. My w ife, the War Depar tment, and I joined Dor is and Nev ille Beamer to pour beer and mi x dr ink s dressed as T he Mamas and the Papas. I was Mama Cass.

Cost uming wasn’t a sig nificant issue. A s luck would have it, Mar y McKeithen at Showboat has a ll my measurements — though for this episode I confess broad admiration at her abilit y to conjure up a pair of size 10 1/2 white go -go boots, a feat she accomplished w ith the apparent ease of order ing a pepperoni pizza.

T he evening coincided w ith a v isit f rom our nephew. At the time he was a C -130 pilot on active dut y in the Ca lifor nia A ir Force R eser ve, and he and his crew had put in at Pope A ir Force Base on their way to who k nows where. We inv ited them to join the festiv ities, which they did.

W hen our t wo -hour cr uise behind the bar had ended, we collectively decided to retire to Nev ille’s basement empor ium to unw ind f rom the demands of per for mance ar t. Unaccustomed as I was to the r igors of wear ing white go -go boots, I couldn’t tolerate the pain any longer and had to make a stop at home to de- Cass before joining the rest of our jolly band. I showed up at Nev ille’s in my usua l cost ume — jeans, tennis shoes, a golf shir t and a jacket. A s time went by and the feeling ret ur ned to my feet, my w ife was approached by one of our nephew’s crew men.

“So, what happened to Uncle Jim?” he inquired, clearly crestfa llen at the myster ious absence of Mama Cass.

She noncha lantly pointed at me severa l barstools away. “He’s r ight there,” she said. A nd had been for the bet ter par t of an hour.

T he appearance, or disappearance, of Mama Cass wasn’t my last br ush w ith blush. T hat occur red some years later when I was on tap to repr ise our bar tending masquerade, this time dressed as a traditiona l geisha.

T he War Depar tment had volunteered to apply my makeup for me. A f ter painting my face w ith the appropr iate white g reasepaint, she began draw ing on the br ight red lipstick w ith the care and concentration of a high school biolog y st udent slicing open a f rog. W hen she finished she stood back to admire her handiwork.

“Oh, my God,” she said, her eyes w idening w ith f r ight.

“W hat?” I asked. W hat had she done? Was I fi xed up to look like the Joker?

“You look exactly like your mother.”

T hat was enough to make me hang up my muumuus for good. PS Jim Moriarty is the Editor of PineStraw and can be reached at jjmpinestraw@gmail.com.