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The ties that bind A brief history of kinky sex E8

BDSM and the law

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The fine line between permissible and illicit E10

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BDSM for dummies Some dos and don’ts for beginners E11

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Editorial Remember what’s important on Trans Day of Remembrance

By Christin Scarlett Milloy E4

Upfront

Feedback E4

Out in the City

Xcetera E5

on dailyxtra.com E Sex workers hold vigil for ‘passing’ of Bill C-36 E PTS seeks Aviva funding for new initiative

Capital Pride update AGM reveals budget concerns E7

Arts roundup Queer choirs, La Cage aux Folles and Pomme and ’Restes E13 What’s On E14 Xposed By Zara Ansar E16

Daily Xtra Travel

E Martha Chaves eases in

Why Honolulu is your next gay getaway E18

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How much more at-risk would I be if I were black? If I were poor? If I were disabled? in 2003; it was a small group affair.

Last year, it was standing room only.

“It shows the momentum this event has had,” says Susan Gapka, a Toronto trans activist who is the leader of the Trans Lobby Group. But Gapka sees this growth as bittersweet. “It’s unfortunate that it does have to grow, because it’s not a day of celebration; it’s a day of memorial for people who are still being murdered around the world.”

people murdered each year, reveals a disturbing yet unmistakeable trend: the overwhelming majority of victims are trans women of colour.

For trans people of colour, racism intersects with their experiences of transphobia in a way that amplifies their marginalization and multiplies their risk of being targeted for violence and hate. Statistics confirm this: a 2011 report from the National

The outcome that we seek is this — gay and lesbian people daring together to set love free.

Xtra is published by Pink Triangle Press, at 2 Carlton St, Ste 1600, Toronto, M5B 1J3.

Christin Scarlett Milloy is a Toronto writer and human rights activist.

As a longtime resident of Ottawa, I have watched many Pride committees come and go [“AGM Delays Capital Pride Bankruptcy,” dailyxtra.com, Nov 6].

Some good, some not so good. This one ranks among the worst. There was no real emotion displayed by the board or Jodie McNamara. Her apology was not believable. Her excuses and evasions are very suspicious. We should have replaced all of the board, not just most of them.

LYNDAS DAILYXTRA.COM

The stock answer always is “then you do it,” no matter how much someone screws up. If someone takes on a job, they should do it well or not at all. They shouldn’t blame someone else. They need to take some responsibility for their own actions.

LILLY DAILYXTRA.COM

Capital Pride committee

OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS #272 OCT 16–NOV 12, 2014

Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs found that of all hate-murder victims (in the United States), 87 percent were people of colour; 45 percent were trans women of colour.

If there’s one thing the TDoR list proves, it’s where our focus needs to be if we’re really aiming to support trans people. We need to start with concerning ourselves about the most marginalized people in our community. We need to do the necessary work and selfeducation to build those principles of anti-racism and anti-oppression into the very foundation of our organizing — rather than spending all our time and money arguing about flags and marches, then treating intersectionality as an afterthought.

Trans people exist across the entire spectrum of race, ability and class.

If your trans group’s membership seems primarily white or if it seems to consist mostly of people with jobs, homes and families, take note of that.

Consider why that might be. Was that your deliberate intention? Many groups launch with mission statements to “represent a wide spectrum of trans people” or “campaign on social issues affecting the trans community” but end up serving only the needs of members with greater privilege.

To fight effectively, we must fight for everyone. And that means making the necessary effort to actually include everyone. Not just talking about it, but doing it. Any less is not enough.

Capital Pride delays bankruptcy

2014

INSIDE OUT PREVIEW

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The International Trans Day of Remembrance (TDoR) is upon us — a day set aside to memorialize those who have been killed in the past year as victims of anti-transgender hatred or prejudice, in Canada and around the world.

Rita Hester, a trans woman, was murdered on Nov 28, 1998. Her death inspired vigils that evolved into the TDoR we know today.

The 519 Church Street Community Centre in Toronto held its first TDoR

We both go each year to pay our respects, but the truth is, TDoR isn’t really about people like Susan and me — at least, not primarily.

As a trans person, I’m more likely to fall victim to harassment, violence, assault or murder than a similarly situated cis person. But I’m also aware that it’s unlikely to happen to me. How much more at-risk would I be if I were black? If I were poor? If I were disabled? If any of these other dimensions of identity intersected with my transness, the dangers to me in this world would be far, far greater.

The TDoR memorial list, which compiles the names and photos of trans

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GUEST EDITORIAL CHRISTIN SCARLETT MILLOY

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Our guide to the best of Ottawa’s LGBT film fest E13–17

Trinity Western Great news [“BC Lawyers Vote Three to One to Reject Trinity Western Law School,” dailyxtra.com, Oct 30]. This is Canada, and this is the 21st century. No sharia law, no Christian fundamentalist law, no continuation of past privileges for religious groups and individuals — just one set of secular laws for all Canadians, based on our common-law heritage and traditions and changing slowly over time through societal, legislative and legal discussions and consensus.

I’m sorry and disappointed this story is so weak [“Capital Pride Chair Convenes Committee to Address Future,” dailyxtra.com, Nov 4]. Couldn’t you have please just asked some questions of this failed Pride board chair without just running another defensive, one-sided version of events? With Capital Pride now a bankrupt but still supposedly member-run, non-profit organization, allowing this pre-AGM face-saving PR piece to run as news is highly disappointing.

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Yes, TWU students may hold their religious principles dear to them [“‘Minorities Should Be Protected,’ Says TWU Grad Denied Job,” dailyxtra.com, Oct 9]. I wonder, though: would a law school run by hard-line Christians teach its students to view LGBT folks the same way that they view their Bibles or the TWU charter that requires them to reject anything other than “traditional” marriage?

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Check out the 2015 roster at orthodox-calendar.com.

THE PRICE OF A KISS

$188,000 Amount a Kazakhstan court ordered an ad agency to pay music students whose moral values were offended by the sight of a poster showing a kiss between 19th-century Kazakh composer Kurmangazy Sagyrbayuly and Russian poet Alexander Pushkin.

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Upfront

Consent is the focus of everything we talk about when it comes to BDSM. Shelley Taylor E 10

AGM delays Capital Pride bankruptcy McNamara apologizes for ‘a job done very poorly’ PRIDE NEWS ADRIENNE ASCAH

Capital Pride hasn’t filed for bankruptcy yet, and an interim board is going to try to keep the organization intact.

On Oct 20, Capital Pride released a statement saying “the Board of Directors has found itself in a financial situation beyond its ability to alter or repair and is now forced to declare bankruptcy.” That announcement came following the board’s Aug 29 statement alleging that post-festival “accounting irregularities” could result in a police investigation.

At Capital Pride’s annual general meeting, held at Ottawa City Hall on Nov 5, it became clear the organization had not yet filed for bankruptcy.

That realization changed the meeting’s agenda.

Originally, two groups were going to make presentations under the heading of Pride 2015: Going Forward. Christopher Doyle, executive producer of Mr Leather Ottawa and a co-owner of Dog & Pony Sound, was going to speak on behalf of a diverse group of community members determined to make sure there would be a Pride festival next year. François Zarraga was going to present on behalf of a second group that not only wanted Pride to continue, but wanted the organization to become more inclusive, with events and meetings being bilingual and the festival involving Gatineau as well as Ottawa.

Instead, when members realized the existing board hadn’t yet filed for bankruptcy, the focus shifted to putting off filing for 45 days and ap-

Capital Pride chair Jodie McNamara (second from right) agreed to stay on the board until a new AGM is held in December. ADRIENNE ASCAH

pointing an interim board. Treasurer Giselle Gardipy, who along with all but three board members resigned mid-meeting, put in a last-minute phone call to prevent the bankruptcy papers from being filed on the morning of Nov 6.

Chair Jodie McNamara and board members Rob Swartz and Stephanie Lavergne agreed to stay on until a new AGM is held, slated to take place in early December. The newly appointed interim board members include Laurie Hawco, Jeremy Dias, Glenn Nuotio, Kevin Hatt, Michael Wright and Peter Zanette.

AIDS Committee finds new home The AIDS Committee of Ottawa (ACO) is on the move. After 11 years in the Village, the organization will be setting up in a new, two-storey building located at 19 Main St in Sandy Hill. The move comes after a nearly two-year wait in which the ACO struggled to find a space that would suit its needs.

In 2012, the Ministry of Health and Long Term-Care mandated a safety audit of the ACO’s current space at 251 Bank St. One of the resulting recomMORE AT DAILYXTRA.COM

mendations was that the centre move to a new location. Executive director Khaled Salam says the ACO originally planned to move in October 2013 and had secured a location across the street at 240 Bank. But on what was supposed to be their first day of occupancy, he says, they were told by the building’s landlords they would not be able to move in.

Salam says that while the ACO hoped to remain in the Village, “it just was not

“We’re feeling really optimistic, and we’re excited that the community is so engaged in the Pride movement, and we’re hoping to use that momentum to move forward,” Dias, the executive director of Jer’s Vision, told media after the meeting. “We’re going to be meeting this week, and we’re going to review all of the statements and all of the available information. We’ll be making an official announcement in three weeks.”

Optimism was in short supply earlier in the meeting as approximately 200 attendees shared their frustrations. At one point, when a com-

a viable option for us for a few different reasons.” But, he says, the Sandy Hill site is well suited to their needs and still close to downtown. “It’s literally a 20-minute walk from our front door here to the front door over there,” he says. “It might create a bit of an accessibility barrier for some people initially, for sure, but it also opens up accessibility for a lot of people in other parts of Ottawa.”

Construction on the new space is slated to finish in mid-November. “We’re aiming to move in there at the end of November so that we can actually have

munity member asked what controls were in place to prevent Capital Pride’s financial crisis from occurring, McNamara responded, “That’s a fantastic example of a question we can’t answer.”

Amidst laughter and groans, McNamara said that in the face of a possible libel suit the organization’s lawyer had advised that it was problematic for board members to answer certain questions, no matter how truthfully, in a public forum.

Several attendees expressed dismay that Capital Pride’s board had intended to file for bankruptcy without consulting its membership. McNamara said that with a debt of $89,000, the organization no longer qualifies for municipal funding, which would be a significant loss of funding for the festival. She added that she couldn’t see other donors and sponsors being willing to step in, under the circumstances.

“Nobody is claiming that nothing went wrong, that we didn’t make serious mistakes,” McNamara said as she addressed the room. “I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for a job done very poorly.”

After the meeting, Marion Steele, a former Capital Pride chair, told Xtra she was upset that Capital Pride had intended to file for bankruptcy.

“I was annoyed, partly because [a debt of $89,000] is not enough to claim a bankruptcy over,” she said. “We came in in 2004 with a $200,000 debt, and we did not declare bankruptcy. We held creditors’ meetings. We held fundraisers. We were out of debt in three and a half years. So, it’s doable and you don’t have to lose your branding.”

Other community members, including Jay Koornstra, executive director of Bruce House, expressed hope that Capital Pride can find a solution that doesn’t involve declaring bankruptcy.

“It’s felt like being on a ship that’s sinking and there’s nothing you can do to stop it,” a tearful McNamara told reporters after the meeting. “But maybe there is.”

our doors open on Dec 1 for World AIDS Day,” Salam says. He says the ACO plans to apply for grants to cover the cost of elevator installation to make the space more accessible, since all the administrative functions, including staff offices, will be on the second floor.

Salam says they plan to canvass the area and hold open houses and other events to get to know their new neighbours after the move. “We are aware that when an AIDS organization moves into a new neighbourhood of people who are not aware of what you do, who you serve, sometimes from a place of not knowing,

there can be some fear of the unknown.”

“I hope people realize how important space is,” he says. “When people are able to be in a safe space and a healthy space, that has a direct impact on their overall health.” He says staff are looking forward to being in their new home and are excited about the opportunities.

The organization has signed a fiveyear lease, and Salam says the plan is to renew for another five years after that. “We are hoping that once people get over the initial hump of us being a little bit removed that things should flow smoothly.” — Julie Cruikshank XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 7

THE ISSUE

THE TIES THAT BIND

From Sparta to Weimar Germany, kink has always been part of our sexuality JP LAROCQUE PHOTOS BY N MAXWELL LANDER Master Tony leads me down a darkened hallway in his apartment, stopping before a single door.

“Would you like to see my playroom?”

We enter what was once a bedroom, but that has now been transformed into something very different. A leather sling hangs from the ceiling before a closet filled with various types of leather fetish gear. Erotic artwork and posters hang on the charcoal-grey walls, surrounded by shelves lined with dildos and buttplugs of various sizes.

In the corner is an antique examining table, and beside it are a series of medical trays, plastic collection containers and metal briefcases containing electro-stimulation equipment.

Tony, International LeatherSir 2009 and a representative of the Rough House BDSM dungeon parties in Toronto, has clearly put work into the space. I marvel at the quantity of items in the room, offhandedly describing it as a veritable museum of erotic play.

“Well, I’ve been collecting for a long time,” he says, proudly.

A long time, indeed. To explore the roots of BDSM culture is to interrogate the fundamental dynamics of human interaction. Dominance and submission, restraint and role-play have been present in both erotic and non-erotic practices throughout much of recorded history and across different cultures, with examples of it in some of humanity’s earliest texts. Flagellation was regularly performed as part of religious ritual in ancient Sparta, for instance, and evidence of physical aggression in erotic play dates back to the sixth century BCE and is referenced in both Petronius’s Satyricon and the Kama Sutra.

8 NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 XTRA!

And according to professional dominant and BDSM educator Scarlet Riot, consenting to restrictive or controlled experiences has always provided significant emotional relief to people who led otherwise stressful lives and were subject to strict socioeconomic divisions.

“Giving in to some type of physical anguish has been an important element of many antique and modern faith systems — passion plays, fasting, adolescent rites of passage,” Riot says. “And we’ve [also] seen this in the ways people challenged the stigmas attached to certain sexual practices throughout history.”

French philosopher the Marquis de Sade, whose 18th-century libertine politics and sexual practices drew the ire of the Catholic Church, wrote extensively of sex acts that often incorporated violence and blasphemy. His “sadistic” works, along with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch’s Venus in Furs, heavily influenced much of the power-associated erotic practices that would be referenced in Victorian literature.

Scholars trace modern BDSM to a few key sources in the 20th century. The sexual progressiveness of pre–Second World War Weimar Germany was an extension of a European fetish culture that had been in play the first few decades of the 1900s, while a distinctive heterosexual kink culture rose up in the United States during the Depression Era. But it was after the Second World War that things really started to take shape, with the birth of the leather community and the beginnings of a gay subculture.

“That war was romanticized,” Master Tony says. “And it was romanticized by the people who

were actually fighting in the war. Men who had gone overseas had camaraderie and a fraternity, and they loved each other — not in a sexual sense, but in that they looked out for each other.”

“And a lot of men, when they came back, couldn’t go back to their old lifestyle simply because they enjoyed the hierarchy of things.

Some men appreciated having a superior officer or someone who would clean their boots and that kind of thing. Things blossomed from that, and the gay men within the community eventually branched out on their own, founding bike and leather clubs.”

It was also around this time that the subculture started to enter the mainstream through the work of photographer Irving Klaw, whose damsel-in-distress pin-up photographs featuring model Bettie Page were quite popular.

“In the Western world, BDSM started making an appearance outside of counterculture in the 1940s, with Page’s erotic photos making the rounds with elements of bondage and restraint,” Riot says. “The reserved sexual attitudes of the time did not inhibit the interests of the kinksters, as is evident by the countless fetish-oriented magazine titles published at the time.”

“When pin-up girls and posters like that started happening, I think that’s when things changed,” Master Tony says. “People were looking at things more sexually than they had prior to that. Look at the work of Russ Meyer. I mean, the women in his films looked like they were cinched up in corsets, and their breasts were huge and pushed out. And, of course, look at Marlon Brando in The Wild One.”

Meanwhile, underground leather culture thrived in many major cities where gay communities had sprung up after the war, including New York and San Francisco. Mr Leather and Mr Drummer contests were established early on, and magazines like Physique Pictorial popularized images of the male form that were overtly homoerotic.

“It ran under the radar of pornography because it had men posing in thongs, but they were doing things that were incredibly masculine,” Master Tony says. “There was wrestling. There was roughhousing. Guys on bikes, that kind of thing.”

The magazine also ran artwork by Tom of Finland. The artist had served during the Second World War, and his time fighting alongside German soldiers in Russia inspired much of his artwork, which fetishized men in uniform.

“A lot of Tom of Finland’s stuff has actual Nazi photographs that he’s touched up to be sexualized,” Master Tony says. “So their cock would be hanging out, that kind of thing. And romanticizing the britches, the boots, the uniform and that hyper-masculine image. There’s something more exhilarating about that than seeing people cuddling in bed.”

With the shifting social mores of the 1960s and ’70s came more extreme forms of sadomasochistic sexual behaviour within the underground leather community, as described in Larry Townsend’s Leatherman’s Handbook and depicted in the photos of Robert Mapplethorpe.

Continued on page 10 E OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

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XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 9

THE ISSUE

WHIPS & QUIPS A semi-serious selection of BDSM films and books —JP Larocque

E Continued from page 8

The culture developed enough of a reputation to inspire the 1970 crime novel Cruising, about a serial killer stalking gay men on the leather scene. The book was famously adapted into the 1980 thriller starring Al Pacino.

The 1980s and ’90s saw BDSM culture shift even more into the mainstream, with musical artists like the Eurythmics and Madonna employing fetish imagery and themes in their works and mainstream films like 9½ Weeks, Body of Evidence and Exit to Eden portraying BDSM erotic practices.

“BDSM has also made many appearances in mainstream film and television, on episodes of CSI, films like 9½ Weeks and Secretary, and has been explored by Oprah and on Dr Phil,” Riot says. “My mother even made a reference to ‘SNM’ in a Facebook status recently commenting on the Jian Ghomeshi affair, which really brought my belief that it’s time we start having open conversations about BDSM.” The internet also introduced kink culture to a much wider audience, causing the community to evolve beyond its more underground, niche-driven roots.

“The fetish community has started to open up and spread out, and so there are so many things that are now identifying as part of the BDSM community,” Master Tony says. “Things that are not bondage or discipline or sadomasochism still fall under the umbrella, so it can be almost any fetish at this point. But who is to say what should or shouldn’t fall under that umbrella?”

Riot agrees. “It’s used as a bit of a catchall for a community that includes fetishists, lifestylers, those who explore BDSM acts as art or cultural critique, and those who casually incorporate elements of power into their otherwise normative sex lives. [But] the community has grown out of like-minded people interested in helping each other create the illusions that speak to their fantasies.”

So how does one define BDSM today?

“Kinky people are a lot like everyone else,” Riot says. “Most of the couples I know have the same arguments and relationship strife that non-kinky people do. It’s just that instead of resolving those issues with a romantic dinner and roses, they may opt for a spanking and blowjob instead. Both experiences incite joy and comfort in people, so who are we to limit that exploration if it’s being done in a safe and consensual way?”

10 NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 XTRA!

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) Pier Paolo Pasolini’s masterpiece, based on the book by the Marquis de Sade. With graphic depictions of rape, torture and murder, the film has been banned in several countries and isn’t for the faint at heart.

Cruising (1980) Macho Sluts,

by Pat Califia A queer-friendly collection of short stories exploring sadism and masochism.

Pick it up!

Al Pacino plays a cop on the hunt for a serial killer murdering men in New York’s underground SM scene. Before it became a footnote for one of James Franco’s odious art projects, this film was controversial for its depiction of gay life at a time when the community was starved for representation.

BDSM & THE LAW

Lawyers, educators say affirmative consent is key HG WATSON Is BDSM more like a fist fight or a hockey fight?

That’s just one of the questions at the heart of the legal debate over BDSM — one that some sex educators and community members didn’t even know needed to be had, until University of Toronto law professor Brenda Cossman wrote an article in The Globe and Mail about the fact that when it comes to consenting to serious bodily harm, it doesn’t matter if you say yes: the consent is rendered null.

Though she wrote the article to address some of the questions raised by the initial reports around the firing of CBC Radio host Jian Ghomeshi, Cossman says it seems clear now that those allegations stem from abuse and the BDSM piece doesn’t apply. However, for many, the questions around the legality of BDSM remain.

Shelley Taylor is the owner of Venus Envy, a queer-friendly Ottawa sex shop that offers sex workshops on such topics as do-it-yourself sex toys and fellatio tips and tricks.

“I think that was a shock to a lot of people,” she says of learning about where the law on BDSM stands — as a sex educator she was surprised to learn that legally you cannot consent to being physically harmed.

Cossman says that since the article came out, interest in the legal issues around BDSM has been piqued, from both lawyers and people in communities that are interested in nonnormative sexuality. It’s why she, along with lawyers Kyle Kirkup and Hamish Stewart and sex educator Andrea Zanin, will take part in a panel about BDSM and the law at the University of Toronto on Nov 13. “We thought we could get more into the minutiae of legality and have a deeper conversation than one could have in 800 words in The Globe and Mail,” Cossman says.

Kirkup, a Trudeau scholar at U of T’s law school, has been studying how criminal law regulates LGBT people and non-normative sexualities and genders.

He believes there are two competing

histories that have created the grey area around BDSM — first, the history of laws that target non-normative sexualities and second, of society not taking sexual-assault complainants seriously.

“I think the concern [is] that BDSM is being used to cover what is really just violent assault and sexual assault,” he says, adding that he believes this is the source of the tension and debate.

“Over time, the Supreme Court of Canada has tried to make the law a little bit better,” Cossman says, noting that recent decisions have made it easier

for women to come forward and have established that consent is an ongoing process — just because you have consented to one act doesn’t mean you’ve agreed to all that follow. However, Cossman notes there are still very real and continuing concerns about the law surrounding sexual assault.

“The problem is that it has only come up in law when someone has been accused of sexual assault and their defence is that it was consensual BDSM,” she says.

In the cases where it has been raised,

Cossman says, they are decided on the absence of consent. “BDSM gets implicated in this but not really,” she adds.

In a case where a person was rendered unconscious through autoerotic asphyxiation in 2011, the Supreme Court determined that you cannot consent in advance to something that might happen when you are unconscious — you must be able to actively give your consent. But that doesn’t clear up all the questions about BDSM and the law.

If a case on BDSM did come forward, part of what the court would have to determine would be whether BDSM has “social utility.” Courts in Canada have found that sports like hockey and boxing — which regularly feature fighting and blows to the head — do have value, whereas a fist fight does not, therefore you can’t really consent to it. “It’s trying to figure out whether or not the courts want to slot this in the pure violence category or whether they want to put it into the more protected category of activities that have social value and utility,” Kirkup says.

In Taylor’s workshops at Venus Envy, she often talks about how certain forms of bodily pain are more acceptable than others, like in the realm of sports.

“I think there’s a lot of stigma and shame attached to anything sexual, and the farther you get away from reproductive sex, the more shame and stigma you’ll find attached to that kind of sex,” she says.

But the perception of BDSM as including pain needs to be corrected, Taylor says. “There’s a lot about BDSM that’s fantasy play, role-play — basically stuff that is completely legal,” she says and that doesn’t involve hitting anybody.

Kirkup also says the focus should be on whether there was affirmed — not implied — consent throughout the entire experience.

Taylor says Venus Envy will now be adding a caveat before their workshops — that no one can consent to be struck.

But for her, consent is the key to any relationship. “Without consent, it’s abuse,” she says. “Consent is the focus of everything we talk about when it comes to BDSM.” OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

The Story of O, by Pauline Réage; Venus in Furs, by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch; Justine, by Marquis de Sade The trifecta of BDSM classic literature.

I could have listed each book individually, but winter is coming, and you should probably read more.

Body of Evidence (1993)

Faggots, by Larry Kramer

If I didn’t include at least one mention of Madonna, the Velvet Mafia would toss me into the Rideau Canal. So here it is!

Accomplished method actress Madonna is accused of murdering a man to inherit his millions.

Before The Normal Heart, Kramer wrote this novel about the promiscuous sex and drug use he observed in the gay community of New York during the 1970s. It’s not a great read and it’s very sanctimonious, but it’s an interesting gay artifact. Plus, the scene where Dinky gets fisted on Fire Island is kinda awesome.

XXL, by Dian Hanson Tom of Finland: Because masturbation.

BDSM FOR DUMMIES Some dos and don’ts for beginners DEVON DELACROIX

PHOTOS BY N MAXWELL LANDER

First forays into BDSM can be daunting, but not for lack of information.

The near-endless stream of websites, chat rooms and online forums available mean a few minutes of Googling can bring rookie players to information overload. Figuring out exactly how to reconcile long-held fantasies with a practical reality isn’t easy. But a few guidelines can ensure the experience is painful only in the right ways.

Though often referred to as an acronym, grammar nerds will know BDSM is technically a “compound initialism,” encompassing bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. But don’t let the complexity of terms fool you. Essentially, it boils down to sex play where partners take on pre-determined unequal roles.

Whatever the activity, understanding principles of consent is the difference between engaging in mutually enjoyable kink play and potentially criminal domestic assault.

The most basic tools of consent are limits and safe words. Limits are the predetermined boundaries for a scene and include hard limits (things that are totally out of the question) and soft limits (things that are unappealing but okay if the situation demands it). Safe words are used to pause or end a scene, yellow and red being the most common.

Yellow indicates a physical or psychological limit is about to be reached. Red means the scene stops and a discussion of what happened, if necessary, ensues.

Once you’ve established your borders, you’re free to roam within them.

Below are a few of my basic BDSM dos and don’ts.

DO test your

boundaries

While consent is paramount in any sexual situation, what makes BDSM thrilling is its ability to open us up to new possibilities. There are a lot of things I enjoy doing that either terrified or disgusted me when I first learned MORE AT DAILYXTRA.COM

B D SM Sadism & Masochism

Bondage & Discipline Domination & Submission

you’re first starting out until you’re sure your desires are worth the investment.

Skip the fetish store and hit your local Canadian Tire. Chain and rope can be purchased by the metre. For rope, stick with cotton or smooth nylon and burn the ends to keep it from fraying. One bag of wooden clothespins will keep your nipples clamped for a lifetime.

Wooden kitchen implements make excellent substitute paddles, as do $1 leather belts from Goodwill. If you want to feel extra naughty, buy them from the Salvation Army.

DON’T go too far, too fast

Though often referred to as an acronym, grammar nerds will know BDSM is technically a “compound initialism.”

out. Most importantly, never play with anyone you don’t completely trust will take the necessary steps to ensure your safety, even if that means accompanying you to the hospital.

DO hire a professional

about them. In some cases, it was about partners challenging my soft limits.

In other cases it was porn, erotica or online chats that first provided the telltale tingle there might be something new out there that would turn me on.

Regardless of your current interests, you owe it to yourself to expand your playbook.

DO plan ahead In addition to setting physical and psychological boundaries, it’s important to

know your partner’s health limitations.

Knee, back and shoulder problems can rear up during a scene, as can heart trouble, asthma or other stress-induced conditions. Know what to watch for in yourself and your partner, and give plenty of warning if you think something bad is happening. Have emergency plans in place. For bondage, keep surgical scissors handy for quickly dispatching ropes and extra keys for locks.

Don’t insert anything in someone’s body that’s not specifically designed for that purpose and you’re sure you can get

If you’re a beginner with a particularly heavy or complex scene in mind, it pays to go to a pro. There are plenty of escorts that do BDSM work, so find the one that’s right for you. In general, personality and skills are more important than physical appearance. Your dom might have abs you could grate cheese on, but if he or she can’t tie knots like a Boy Scout, your rope bondage session is going to be a letdown. Treat the process like hiring any other professional. Come to the table with a clear idea of what you want, ask lots of questions and be prepared to learn.

DON’T spend

a lot of money

Since my earliest kink forays in my teenaged best friend’s basement, I’ve been a DIY BDSM kind of guy. While some players shell out thousands for specialized equipment, save your cash when

So you watched a piercing demonstration or a caning video? Great. That doesn’t mean you’re ready to go there right away. These kinds of highly specialized practices can take years of training to get right. Do as much research as you can to learn the ins and outs of a particular activity. In the case of things that break the skin, don’t go there until you’ve studied with someone who has the knowhow and you understand the risks.

DON’T be

disappointed if reality doesn’t live up to your fantasies

At the same time you’re working to expand your desires, it’s essential to acknowledge that fantasies don’t always play out as well in practice as they do in our heads. It may take a few tries (and a few partners) to precisely fine-tune things. But it’s also important to know the difference between what’s meant for reality and what should remain wank material. The possibilities of sexuality are near endless. And sometimes learning what you don’t want is just as useful as learning what you do.

Devon Delacroix is the author of Hard Labour, a column about male sex work on dailyxtra.com.

XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 11

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OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

OutintheCity Pomme and ’Restes are marooned on an island in a new Company of Fools play.

ANDREW ALEXANDER

Castaway clowns Pomme Frites (or just Pomme), a rednosed clown, wants to be Anne of Green Gables. He has some things in common with her — like his temper — but for some reason people like Anne better.

Pomme and his companion, ’Restes, also a clown, were entertainers on a cruise ship before it was wrecked. Adventures abound while they’re stranded on an island — often with Pomme having to rescue ’Restes — but Pomme is also dealing with some existential crises: Why can’t he be Anne? And should he give up and just resign himself to staying on the island?

What will happen to our heroes?

All will be revealed in A Company of Fools’s upcoming production Pomme and ’Restes: Shipwrecked! On the Tempestuous Lost Island of Never.

Pomme and ’Restes got up to some hijinks several years ago in a play called A Midwinter’s Dream Tale. The show was such a success that the Great Canadian Theatre Company asked A Company of Fools to write a new Pomme and ’Restes play for the upcoming holiday season.

MORE AT DAILYXTRA.COM

The show’s humour will appeal to people of all ages, but Pomme and ’Restes’s lack of gender-related hangups should send a particularly important message to children. “’Restes is a boy, or at least he thinks he’s a boy. And Pomme always wears a skirt and believes that at heart he’s a little girl,” says Margo MacDonald, who plays ’Restes. “This is the nature of clowns.

They have the ability to exist without judgment.”

“Sometimes at student matinees, children will be really surprised when I take the costume off. They’re like, ‘Wait a minute, you’re a girl?’ and I say, ‘I’m a girl, but ’Restes is a boy.’ And they say, ‘How can he be a boy if you’re a girl?’ and I say, ‘Well, he believes he’s a boy, so does it matter?’

They often think about that and decide it doesn’t matter.” — Jeremy Willard

If you came to Honolulu hoping to meet fellow gay travellers, you chose the right place. Andrew Collins E18

LA CAGE FOR LA FAMILLE I am what I am I am my own special creation So come take a look, Give me the hook or the ovation.

It’s my world that I want to take a little pride in, My world, and it’s not a place I have to hide in.

Life’s not worth a damn, ’Til you can say, “Hey world, I am what I am.”

To some, La Cage aux Folles should be R-rated. It’s got men dancing in heels, a nightclub in Saint-Tropez and same-sex parents. But for Kraig-Paul Proulx, the musical carries a powerful and straightforward message of acceptance, love and the importance of family — a message every parent should want their children to hear. And with lyrics like the above, it’s hard to disagree with him.

Proulx will play Albin in Suzart Productions’ upcoming performance. Albin’s drag queen alter ego, Zaza, is the star attraction at his partner Georges’s nightclub. When Georges’s son, JeanMichel, brings his fiancée’s conservative parents home to meet him, things

Jim Baldwin, left, and Kraig-Paul Proulx prepare for La Cage aux Folles. PATRICIA CURTIS

get a bit crazy. And very funny. And, ultimately, quite meaningful.

Proulx has always wanted to play the role of Albin/Zaza. “This is my dream role, as I’m sure it is for any gay male performer,” he says. “I get to sing ‘I Am What I Am’ every night. I have goose bumps thinking about it.”

The people at Suzart Productions thought long and hard about opening their 2014/2015 season with La Cage.

The company is family-run and puts on shows for the entire family. They even have a mentoring program for young people interested in the theatre.

Choral Christmas Tone Cluster’s upcoming Christmas concert, Quite a Queer Qhristmas, promises to be the queerest concert of their 2014/2015 season.

Tone Cluster is a 30-voice auditioned choir for LGBT folk and their allies. This season’s subscription series includes three main concerts: the Christmas concert, Words.3 (focused on anti-bullying) and nonSense and inSensibility (which is just a lot of silliness). In April there will be Show Tune Showdown, an annual fundraising event where teams compete before celebrity guest judges.

Kurt Ala-Kantti, Tone Cluster’s music director, says the Christmas event is “probably our queerest concert — even queerer than the show-tunes one. If you saw the lyrics to some of the songs we’re Tone Cluster doing, you’d agree.” will perform alongside the Ottawa Gay Men’s Chorus and In Harmony.

So, would parents want to bring their kids to see men high-kicking in heels?

“That’s a little bit scary for a family theatre company,” Proulx says. “But some of us really pushed the idea that it’s about family, about love, about acceptance. It’s more than just drag queens onstage. It’s about a family — a different kind, but a family nonetheless.” — Jeremy Willard La Cage aux Folles runs Thurs, Dec 4–Sun, Dec 7, at Centrepointe Studio Theatre, 101 Centrepointe Dr. centrepointetheatre.ca

The concert includes performances by Ottawa’s two other LGBT choirs: the Ottawa Gay Men’s Chorus and In Harmony, a women’s chorus. It continues a partnership formed between the three choirs when they gave the opening concert at the Unison Festival, a quadrennial Canadian choral festival for queer choirs, which took place in Ottawa this past summer. “I want to keep that relationship going, so this is kind of our party and a way to continue the cooperation between all three LGBT choirs,” Ala-Kantti says.

The choirs will perform their own sets and then join together for a set. Tone Cluster’s contributions include such tongue-in-cheek selections as “Coming Out at Christmas” and “Christmas Brunch.” The latter “starts off with setting up a brunch, but all the friends are fit and vegan, and so it goes through the situation of having to accommodate people’s dietary restrictions,” Ala-Kantti says. “It’s definitely not a traditional Christmas concert.” — Jeremy Willard Quite a Queer Qhristmas is Sat, Dec 13, 7:30pm, at Centretown United Church, 507 Bank St. tonecluster.org

JAY-DEE PURDIE

Pomme and ’Restes: Shipwrecked! On the Tempestuous Lost Island of Never runs Tues, Nov 25–Sun, Dec 14, at Irving Greenberg Theatre Centre, 1233 Wellington St W. fools.ca XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 13

WHAT'S ON Geoff Berner — Club Saw, Sat, Nov 22

PLAYS & MUSICALS

Polybilities People gather in a supportive environment to discuss issues surrounding non-monogamous relationships, including sex, emotional connections and the law. Takes place the fourth Monday of each month. Mon, Nov 24, 7pm.

Free. PTS, 331 Cooper St. Free. ptsottawa.org

Pomme and ’Restes Shipwrecked!

Two red-nosed clowns — a boy who wants to be Anne of Green Gables and another who always needs saving — find themselves marooned on an island. Runs Tues, Nov 25– Sun, Dec 14, various showtimes.

Irving Greenberg Theatre Centre, 1233 Wellington St W. $19.47–40.71. fools.ca

Queer People of Colour QPOC of any gender, ability, age or orientation meet and talk in a supportive, open and nonjudgmental environment. Takes place the last Tuesday of each month. Tues, Nov 25, 7–9pm. PTS, 331 Cooper St. Free. ptsottawa.org

La Cage aux Folles Albin performs drag at his partner Georges’s nightclub. Things get a bit crazy when Georges’s son, Jean-Michel, brings home his fiancee’s conservative parents. Runs Thurs, Dec 4–Sun, Dec 7, various showtimes. Centrepointe Studio Theatre, 101 Centrepointe Dr. $23.75– 31.25. centrepointetheatre.ca

LEISURE & PLEASURE Cards Against Misogyny and Transmisogyny II

Folks mingle, play games and enter for a chance to win prizes at this benefit for SlutWalk Ottawa.

Thurs, Nov 13, 6:30–10:30pm.

Monopolatte, 640 Somerset St W. $10. monopolatte.com

Seniors’ Bowling Queer seniors 50 years and older and their friends are invited out to bowl a few frames. For more info, contact georgeis@rogers.com.

Takes place the second and fourth Monday of each month. Mon, Nov 24, and Mon, Dec 8, 6:30pm. West Park Bowling, 1205 Wellington St W. $3 per game; free shoe rental. ospn-rfao.ca

Feminist Fair

FOR MORE LISTINGS, GO TO DAILYXTRA.COM

ART & LITERATURE

Art by Dominique Boisvenue A collection of graffiti-inspired art intended to combat negative perceptions of street art. Runs until Sun, Nov 30. Venus Envy, 226 Bank St. Free. venusenvy.ca

Meet the Artists An opportunity to not only buy some local art, but converse with the artists themselves. RSVP required. Thurs, Nov 13, 6–8pm.

After Stonewall, 370 Bank St. No cover. afterstonewallgallery.com

The Hard Cover Book Club Men are invited to gather and discuss Stripped: A Story of Gay Comics, by Markus Pfalzgraf, Thurs, Nov 20, 7pm; and The Paternity Test, by Michael Lowenthal, Thurs, Dec 18, 7pm. Gay Zone, Centretown Community Health Centre, 420 Cooper St. Free. gayzonegaie.ca

The Naughty Bits Book Club This month’s event focuses on Morty Diamond’s Trans/Love: Radical Sex, Love and Relationships Beyond the Gender Binary. Thurs, Nov 27, 7:30–9:30pm. Venus Envy, 226 Bank St. Free. venusenvy.ca

14 NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 XTRA!

HEALTH & ISSUES

Along with a vendor fair — which includes Astropuke and Trashy Kitty jewellery — there is a raffle. Sun, Dec 7, 3–6pm. Pressed, 750 Gladstone Ave. PWYC. pressed-ottawa.com

The Living Room

Senior Pride Holiday Party

HIV-positive people and their loved ones are welcome to access many resources, including a food bank, laundry facilities, internet, counselling and workshops.

Contact The Living Room for an appointment. AIDS Committee of Ottawa, 251 Bank St, 7th Floor. Free. aco-cso.ca

Queer seniors 50 and older and their friends socialize and enjoy a finger-food buffet and cash bar.

Wed, Dec 10, 7–10pm. The Good Companions Centre, 670 Albert St. Free. ospn.rfao.ca

BiAmore People who are bisexual, polyamorous and bi-curious get together for activities and discussion related to achieving healthy relationships. Takes place the first Thursday and third Monday of each month. Mon, Nov 17, and Thurs, Dec 4, 7–9pm.

PTS, 331 Cooper St. Free. ptsottawa.org

Spectrum This Youth Services Bureau program offers queer and questioning youth aged 12 to 25 a safe space to socialize, discuss sexuality and related topics, participate in workshops, receive counselling and more.

Every Tuesday, 7–9pm.

YSB, 147 Besserer St. Free. ysb.ca

SEX

Cheap Thrills: DIY Sex Toys for Power Play Kinky sex doesn’t have to be expensive. This workshop offers tips on transforming everyday items into sex toys. Tues, Nov 18, 6:30pm.

Venus Envy, 226 Bank St. $10–20. venusenvy.ca

Kitty Funk — Babylon, Sat, Nov 22 MAGDAD M

NIGHTLIFE

Thursdays Are a Drag Zelda Marshall hosts a night of performances by drag queens, drag kings and burlesque dancers. DJ Bill spins progressive house. Every Thursday, 10:30pm. Swizzles, 246B Queen St. No cover. swizzles.ca

Friday Fixxx One of the most popular ladies’ nights around features DJ Isabelle Bechamp. Pre-Fixxx drag king show, 9–11pm; dancing from 10pm on.

Every Friday, 9pm–2am. The Lookout Bar & Bistro, 41 York St. No cover before 9pm. thelookoutbar.com

invites party people to dance until their feet turn into mashed potatoes. Sat, Nov 22, 10:30pm.

Babylon Nightclub, 317 Bank St. $5 before midnight, $7 after. thequeermafia.com

Gainsbourg Légionnaire Queer folks of every stamp enjoy good company and charmingly rustic surroundings on this queer pub night. Takes place the second Saturday of each month. Sat, Dec 13, 8pm. Gainsbourg, 9 Aubry St, Gatineau. No cover. facebook.com/ gainsbourglegionnaire

Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio Want to give someone the blowjob of a lifetime? Kandace Price’s workshop covers everything from basic anatomy to advanced technique. Mon, Nov 24, 6:30pm.

Venus Envy, 226 Bank St. $10–20. venusenvy.ca

Everybody’s Doing It: Talking About Sex and Disability Led by Abby Kidd, this workshop reinforces the idea that everyone can have hot sex, no matter their ability.

Tues, Dec 2, 6:30pm. Venus Envy, 226 Bank St. Free. venusenvy.ca

Queens in the Hall

MUSIC

Geoff Berner and Rae Spoon Berner and Spoon stop off to perform in Ottawa as part of their Canadian tour. For more info, contact raespoon@gmail. com. Sat, Nov 22, 7–10pm. Club Saw, 67 Nicholas St. $15. galeriesawgallery.com

Quite a Queer Qhristmas Three choirs — Tone Cluster, the Ottawa Gay Men’s Chorus and In Harmony women’s chorus — team up for a non-traditional Christmas concert.

Sat, Dec 13, 7:30pm.

Centretown United Church, 507 Bank St. $10–20. tonecluster.org

Gainsbourg Légionnaire — Gainsbourg, Sat, Dec 13

More than 20 performers — including Kiki Coe, Jade London, Zoe Knights and Alyna Moore — paint city hall pink. Sat, Nov 15, 7pm.

Ottawa City Hall, 110 Laurier Ave W. No cover.

Boys’ Party Night MC François Zarraga hosts a dance party that includes striptease and whipped-cream contests (whatever that might be). The event benefits orphans of the Ebola virus.

Thurs, Nov 20, 8pm. Centretown Pub, 340 Somerset St W. $20. centretownpub.blogspot.ca

Seeing Red Revellers celebrate the fight for sex workers’ rights at this scarletthemed dance party, featuring music by DJs CPI and Mikkipedia and a performance by Bambi Van Boom. Fri, Nov 21, 9pm–1:30am.

Club Saw, 67 Nicholas St. $10–15. seeingred2014. brownpapertickets.com

Offbeat: Mashed Up With DJs Dan Valin and Kitty Funk on the decks, The Queer Mafia

Art by Dominique Boisvenue — Venus Envy until Sun, Nov 30 DOMINIQUE BOISVENUE

Submit your event listing to ottawalistings@dailyxtra.com.

Deadline for the Dec 11 issue is Mon, Dec 1.

OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

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XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 15

XPOSED

1

BY ZARA ANSAR

Tarantino Unchained

Minds were blown when Intrepid Events hosted a night in support of Jer’s Vision on Oct 29. Guests dressed as characters from Quentin Tarantino movies and were invited to sign up for the dance contest, with the grand prize donated

by Beau’s Brewing. DJ Gerdzilla spun tracks from various Tarantino films and the crowd warmed up before the big dance-off. House of Targ — with its delicious perogies, wicked pinball machines and welcoming atmosphere — was the perfect spot for the event.

1E Sharmeen and Jamie are smoking hot in a Pulp Fiction pose. 2E Shadi and Andrew get into trouble. 3E KaitlynneRae Landry and Zac Johnstone, of Jer’s Vision, welcome guests at House of Targ. 4E Ember serves up Jackie Brown realness. 5E Jessica Wallace, one of the organizers of Tarantino Unchained, is very excited about the dance-off.

6E Kill Bill never looked so chic, with Jamie Vance and Wendy Lee. 7E DJ Gerdzilla may be gagged, but he’s spinning the tunes. 8E Someone must have said Beetlejuice three times. 9E Matt looks the part, but where are the rest of the Crazy 88?

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3

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8 16 NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 XTRA!

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9 OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

Accommodations Brookstreet Hotel 613-271-1800 brookstreet.com

Adoption The Children’s Aid Society of Ottawa 613-747-7800 casott.on.ca

AIDS/HIV Resources AIDS Committee of Ottawa 613-238-5014 aco-cso.ca Ian Carter – Bayne Sellar Boxall 613-236-0535 bsbcriminallaw.com

Alternative Transportation Powersports Canada 613-224-7899 powersportscanada.com

Bakeries Bread by Us 613-890-1423

Churches The Church of St John the Evangelist 613-232-4500 stjohnsottawa.ca

Community Groups & Services AIDS Committee of Ottawa 613-238-5014 aco-cso.ca Capital Pride capitalpride.ca

Gilmour Psychological Services 613-230-4709 ottawa-psychologists.com

Linda Young Insurance Brokers Inc 613-825-1110 lindayounginsurance.com

Jerry SG Ritt, MA OACCPP, Psychotherapist 613-233-9669

Manotick Insurance Brokers Ltd 613-692-3528 manotickinsurance brokers.com

Entertainment Camp Explora 819-423-5522 campexplora.ca

Estate Planning Mann & Partners, LLP 613-722-1500 mannlawyers.com

Furniture The New Oak Tree thenewoaktree.com

Health & Personal Care Centretown Community Health Centre 613-233-4443 centretownchc.org

Home Improvement & Repairs Merkley Supply Ltd 613-728-2693 merkleysupply.com

Counselling Antoine Quenneville, MA, C Psych Assoc 613-230-6179 x401 themensproject.ca

Lawyers Ian Carter – Bayne Sellar Boxall 613-236-0535 bsbcriminallaw.com Mann & Partners, LLP 613-722-1500 mannlawyers.com Nelligan O’Brien Payne LLP 613-238-8080 nelligan.ca

Legal Services

Mann & Partners, LLP 613-722-1500 mannlawyers.com

Housing

Nelligan O'Brien Payne LLP 613-238-8080 nelligan.ca

Andrex Holdings 613-238-1835 andrexholdings.com

John Shea Insurance Brokers Ltd 613-596-9697

Merkley Supply Ltd 613-728-2693 merkleysupply.com

Davidson's Jewellers 613-234-4136 davidsonsjewellers.com

Brookstreet Hotel 613-271-1800 brookstreet.com

The Children’s Aid Society of Ottawa 613-747-7800 casott.on.ca

Contracting & Renovations

Jewellery & Jewellers

Hotels

John King Team 613-695-8181 johnkingteam.com

Kasuwade Friendly Tech 613-804-4200 FriendlyTech.ca

Squirt.org squirt.org

Ian Carter – Bayne Sellar Boxall 613-236-0535 bsbcriminallaw.com

Centretown Community Health Centre 613-233-4443 centretownchc.org

Computer Consultants

Internet

Mortgages Mortgage Alliance 613-612-8400

Insurance

The best of gay & lesbian Ottawa — on your desktop and your mobile device!

Check out the interactive digital edition of Xtra Living at

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Motorcycles & Scooters

Recreational Vehicles

Powersports Canada 613-224-7899 powersportscanada.com

Powersports Canada 613-224-7899 powersportscanada.com

Optical Services

Restaurants & Cafés

Eyemaxx Optical Studio 613-216-6076 eyemaxx.ca

Pet Sitting & Boarding Place for Paws 613-446-2280

Pharmacies Shoppers Drug Mart, Bank and Gladstone 613-238-9041 shoppersdrugmart.ca

Physiotherapy Vijay Sharma Physiotherapy 613-238-8885 vijaysharma physiotherapy.ca

Politicians Office of Mayor Jim Watson 613-580-2424 ottawa.ca Paul Dewar, MP 613-964-8682 pauldewar.ca

Prenuptial Agreements Mann & Partners, LLP 613-722-1500 mannlawyers.com

Courtyard Restaurant 613-241-1516 courtyardrestaurant.com Giovanni’s Ristorante 613-234-3156 giovannis-restaurant.com Mamma Grazzi’s 613-241-8656 mammagrazzis.com Perspectives Restaurant at Brookstreet 613-271-1800 brookstreet.com/dining

30 CARLTON STREET TORONTO, ONTARIO M5B 2E9 CANADA Hotel Front Desk: 1-416-977-6655 www.holidayinn.com/TorontoCentre

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THE BEST OF GAY & LESBIAN OTTAWA

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THE BEST OF GAY & LES BIAN OTTAWA

Exploring New Edinburgh Beyond bo oks at After Stonewall Men’s grooming by Warren Ch ase Ottawa’s be st gay bars an d patios

Freelance Reporters Needed Xtra Ottawa is expanding its base of freelance reporters.

We need intrepid freelance reporters with strong news judgment and well-honed journalism skills.

As an ideal candidate, you thrive on being a news reporter.

Thick-skinned, you’re not afraid to tackle sensitive issues or ask hard questions, even within a small, tight-knit community. A creative thinker, you have a natural “nose for news” to identify great story ideas.

You are outgoing and skilled at networking with sources, newsmakers and community leaders. You are an aggressive self-starter who gets things done. A quick and thorough reporter, you will generate news stories for our website, dailyxtra.com.

Your commitment to fairness matches your meticulous attention to detail, spelling and accuracy. Your superior writing and self-editing skills enable you to quickly turn around error-free copy.

Ideally, you are proficient enough with digital photography to capture good images and process them for posting online.

Being an avid user of social media who understands how to harness its power to engage our communities and promote your work is an asset.

Email a detailed cover letter, resumé and news writing samples to managing editor Matthew DiMera at matthew.dimera@dailyxtra.com.

XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 17

A world of gay adventure

Travel

Honolulu STORY & PHOTOS

BY ANDREW COLLINS

It’s a typically sunny, gently breezy Saturday in Honolulu; surfers, stand-up paddlers and sailboats ply the waters just off the city’s famed Waikiki Beach, which is lined with sleek hotel towers and upscale resorts. The iconic volcanic cone known as Diamond Head looms to the southeast. Gaggles of buffed and tanned gay guys and, to a lesser extent, lesbians congregate along the relatively secluded stretch of sand known as Queen’s Surf. Later in the day, a group of LGBT revellers will head out on the weekly gay catamaran booze cruise hosted by long-running Hula’s Bar and Lei Stand. In the evening, social butterflies will dance and mingle back at Hula’s and at a halfdozen other gay lounges and clubs in central Waikiki.

If you came to Honolulu hoping to meet fellow gay travellers and looking for nightlife — along with slick 18 NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 XTRA!

shopping centres and lively restaurants all within a short walk of the beach and one another — you chose the right place. This vibrant city of nearly 400,000 on the southern tip of Oahu, Hawaii’s third largest island, supports the most pronounced queer scene in the state. Sure, you’ll discover plenty of family on Hawaii’s other major islands, and the state is among the most LGBT-friendly of any tropical destination in the world, but Honolulu has the archipelago’s only gay clubs (except for one little neighbourhood bar, The Mask, on the Big Island) and is home to a 24-hour men’s gym and bathhouse, Max’s Gym. This capital city with the state’s largest airport also hosts Hawaii’s largest Pride event, the Honolulu Pride parade, in June, along with the LGBT Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival the same month.

While Honolulu and its Waikiki district are the hub of Hawaii’s gay scene, visitors seeking a bit more in the way of cultural and arts attractions or reward-

The capital city and its Waikiki district are the hub of Hawaii’s gay scene

ing hikes in verdant rainforests and along less-crowded beaches will find plenty to see and do elsewhere on this 567-square-kilometre island.

Top attractions You can easily divide Oahu’s key sightseeing opportunities into two categories: those in metro Honolulu, which you can reach with short cab and bus rides; and those farther afield, requiring either a rental car or a more extensive effort on the island’s public bus authority. Among the former, don’t miss the poignant monument to one of the 20th century’s seminal military conflicts, Pearl Harbor, which is part of World War II Valor in the Pacific National Monument. Other must-see Honolulu sites include the dazzling residence of Hawaiian royalty, Iolani Palace; the exceptional Honolulu Museum of Art, along with the fabulously ornate former home of Doris Duke, Shangri La, which the museum offers guided tours of; and the bustling

Top, the funky town of Haleiwa, with its galleries, boutiques and inexpensive restaurants, is the focal point of the surfing scene on Oahu’s North Shore. Above, Pearl Harbor is part of the World War II Valor in the Pacific National Monument.

OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

Chinatown district, with its growing number of hipster-flavoured, mixed gay/straight lounges and restaurants — Bar 35 and Downbeat Diner & Lounge are favourites and the First Friday arts parties are fun. Outside the city itself, there’s incredible surfing along Oahu’s North Shore, centred near the funky town of Haleiwa, which has some cute galleries, boutiques and inexpensive restaurants. And on the Windward (east) shore, you’ll find a number of stunning areas for hiking and beachcombing, including Lanikai Beach (and the nearby Pillboxes Trail), Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve and Koko Crater.

Accommodations Waikiki abounds with gay-friendly lodgings in just about every price range (although rates are consistently among the highest of any beach destination in North America). Those seeking pampering and opulence might consider the historic Royal Hawaiian (aka, the MORE AT DAILYXTRA.COM

Top, Honolulu’s famed Waikiki Beach is lined with sleek hotel towers and upscale resorts. Right, Crouching Lion Bar & Grill is located on Oahu’s scenic Windward Coast. Above, Bacchus is a swank gay cocktail bar in Waikiki.

Bars

ing (there’s a great tapas menu). Other fun hangouts in the neighbourhood include Bacchus, a swank little cocktail bar; Fusion, which has dancing and drag shows; LoJax, a gay sports bar; and Tapa’s, which draws plenty of regulars and tourists for karaoke and cheap drink specials. There is one fun gay-owned, mixed restaurant and bar located out on the island’s scenic Windward Coast: Crouching Lion Bar & Grill is an inviting stop for a cocktail after a day of road-tripping around Oahu’s scenic eastern and northern shores. The ocean views from the bar’s patio are sensational.

Waikiki is Hawaii’s hub of gay nightlife, with the aforementioned Hula’s Bar & Lei Stand the most celebrated and well-established mixed gay/lesbian venue for dancing, drinking and eat-

For the most up-to-date travel information on gay Honolulu, see our online city, listings, events and activities guides at dailyxtra.com.

Pink Palace of the Pacific) or the more secluded Kahala Hotel & Resort, a favourite for its interactive Dolphin Quest encounter program. Stylish, contemporary and centrally located mid-priced lodgings include two fairly new Joie de Vivre properties, the Coconut Waikiki and Shoreline Hotel; the boutique-y Aston Hotel Renew; and the hip new Vive Hotel Waikiki. If you’re trying to save money, Aqua Waikiki Joy and the no-frills Ewa Hotel are good options convenient to gay bar-hopping.

XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 19

A world of gay adventure

Travel

Desert oasis is more than just ‘gay and grey’

Palm Springs JEFFREY LUSCOMBE

What comes to mind when you think of Palm Springs? For most, it’s palm trees, sun, swimming pools and mid-century architecture. Then, of course, there is the large LGBT community and the huge number of retirees — affectionately known as the “gay and grey.”

Gay Palm Springs Palm Springs has a lot to offer the LGBT traveller looking for a hot time in the desert. In fact, the town’s gay roots go back almost 100 years, to 1919, when Chicago heiress Lois Kellogg (eccentric bohemian and rumoured lesbian) swept in to start construction on an enormous (though, sadly, never completed) Moroccan-Persian-style home.

Since then, gays and lesbians have been travelling to this desert oasis in search of sun-drenched same-sex frolicking. After all, not only did Rock Hudson have a house here (far from the prying eyes of his movie studio), übergay Liberace owned two!

Today, Palm Springs has one of the largest LGBT communities in the United States. And these folks love sharing hot fun with visitors. What are you into? Over the course of the year, Palm Springs probably has something to suit the taste of any LGBT traveller: a White Party in April, the Film Noir Festival in May, the Cinema Diverse Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in September, Pride weekend in early November and Leather Pride in mid-November.

20 NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 XTRA!

If you head to Palm Springs during one of the non-festival weeks, you will still find lots to do after the sun goes down. After a good meal at one of the many restaurants downtown, hit one — or more — of the gay bars in town. The bar scene seems to start earlier than other cities, but make sure you hit Street Bar, Hunters video bar, Score: The Game Bar, and The Barracks and Tool Shed (for the leather and denim crowd). All have specialty nights throughout the week.

Let it all hang out One benefit of a Palm Springs holiday is that you can pack light. Very light. Back in the days when it was the winter playground of Hollywood stars like Frank Sinatra and Marlene Dietrich, resorts (with 20 or 25 rooms surrounding the ever-present pool) were built to accommodate all the families that flocked to town. Today many of these old resorts are gay-owned and have been transformed into men-only, clothing-optional guesthouses. In fact, no other city in the world has as many gay clothing-optional resorts as Palm Springs.

So those inclined to spend their holidays in the buff can strip down and enjoy the sun without the fear of tan lines.

Clothing-optional resorts are gated and walled, so you won’t have to worry about shocking anyone who might be strolling by. And yes, local drugstores carry 100 SPF sunscreen.

Popular gay clothing-optional guesthouses include Escape Resort, Vista

Work on your tan line if you like, but no other city in the world has as many gay clothing-optional resorts as Palm Springs.

PALM SPRINGS DESERT RESORT COMMUNITIES CONVENTION AND VISITORS AUTHORITY

OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

PALM SPRINGS DESERT RESORT COMMUNITIES CONVENTION AND VISITORS AUTHORITY

Clockwise from left: Delos Van Earl’s Jungle Red sculpture graces the entrance to Warm Sands, the most vibrant gay neighbourhood in Palm Springs; for shopping, El Paseo is the Rodeo Drive of Palm Springs; Miller House, designed by architect Richard Neutra and built of glass and steel, is a great example of Desert Modernism; the Joshua tree is a common sight in the desert.

SCOTT BRASSART

PALM SPRINGS DESERT RESORT COMMUNITIES CONVENTION AND VISITORS AUTHORITY

Grande Resort, CCBC, Bearfoot Inn and La Joya Inn. Many rooms also include kitchens, private verandas, continental breakfasts and WiFi. Some of the resorts have day passes, so decide before you reserve if you want to stay in a place that allows non-guests to use the facilities (for instance, CCBC sells 12-hour day passes). However, the practice does allow you to check out some of the other clothing-optional resorts for a day visit.

For the ladies For the past 24 years, lesbians have descended upon Palm Springs each April for their own brand of entertainment.

Called “the biggest all-girl event in the world,” the Club Skirts Dinah Shore MORE AT DAILYXTRA.COM

Weekend (better known as The Dinah) coincides with the Ladies Professional Golf Association’s Kraft Nabisco Championship tournament (formerly the Dinah Shore Golf Championship).

Some of the events scheduled to get the ladies’ juices flowing during The Dinah are a comedy night, a film festival, pool parties, celebrity poker and ( just in case you boys thought this was your domain) a women’s White Party. And though many larger cities do not have even one hotel dedicated to the lesbian traveller, Palm Springs can boast two: Casitas Laquita and Queen of Hearts Resort.

For the greys The fact is, a lot of older people have

chosen to live in Palm Springs because of the year-round warm weather and the great number of leisure activities.

According to the 2010 census, 26.5% of residents were 65 years of age or older and the median age was 51.6 years. This is not South Beach, folks.

Still, older people, both gay and straight, are part of the charm. You will find a lot of friendly people and less attitude here than in many other gay destinations. Palm Springs welcomes everyone.

Other attractions Palm Springs is famous for its large number of Mid-Century Modern homes, and guided tours of these buildings are available year-round. But you

can always just stroll around the downtown yourself to get a flavour of great architecture by modernist masters such as Richard Neutra, John Lautner, Donald Wexler, Albert Frey and William F Cody. Palm Springs Modernism Week is held every February to celebrate the city’s architecture.

For those looking to escape their resort for a few hours or days, nearby Joshua Tree National Park is a great place to enjoy camping, hiking and climbing. The forest covers a land area of 790,636 acres, or an area slightly larger than Rhode Island. A large part of the park (429,690 acres) has been designated a wilderness area.

If you find the lure of the snowcapped mountains too strong to avoid, jump on

the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway. Described as the “world’s largest rotating tramcar,” it will take you on a breathtaking journey up the cliffs of Chino Canyon. The ride from Valley Station (elevation 800 metres) to the Mountain Station (elevation 2,600 metres) takes 10 minutes.

Weather Over the course of a typical year, the temperature in Palm Springs ranges from 7 Celsius to 41. The warm season typically lasts from early June to the end of September, with an average daily high of 36, while the cold season lasts from the end of November until the first of March and has an average daily high of 24.

XTRA! NOV 13–DEC 10, 2014 21

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OTTAWA’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

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