Xtra - Vancouver's Gay and Lesbian News Issue 487

GOOD GOODBYE, DAVID HOLT HOLTZMAN IInspiring nspir activist w will ill b be missed ›10 VANCOUVER’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS WS

GAY PARTIES BURN OUT One week, four down › 19

#487 APRIL 19, 2012

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game Rufus Wainwright on his rebirth and return ›17

Accom modat Resources ions Accountants Ad ult Adver Banking BanApartments Art Galleri tisi ng Agenc ies AIDS/H Busine ss & kruptcy Bars & Clubs Bices Art Supplies Artists IV Butchers CarProfessio nal Organi ycles Bookkeeping Boo Arts & Crafts zat pet ks ions Busine Cleaning Cat Co mm uni ty ss Sup plie s & Magazines erin g Cha Gro t Lines Cheese ups & Ser vic & Ser vices Contracting es Sho Co & ps mp Ren Cho ute r ovations Coo cola Crises Service kware Cos Co nsu ltan ts Co nstructiers Dermatolog s & Shelters Cross-Dre metic Servic tion y Drag Ent Gardening Gra ertainment ssing Dating Services es Counselling Dental Service & Barbers Hea phic Design Services Events Framing & Pos s Gro lth ter cer & s y Gyms Hair Personal Car Home Improv Removal HaiFurniture e Hea em lth ent Foo s & Repairs Inv nve est stm me ent Hotels Illustrad & Nutrition Home Furr Stylists nt Serv vic ice ess Jewelle nishings Leather Life Ser tors Insurance e ery ry & Jewelle Leg Inte e al ller rior Ser rs s Juice Bars Certified/R Design vices Limous Kitc K hen enss Lawyer & Storage egistered Massage Me ine Services Locksmtch yerss ats iths Personal TraMusic Optica l Services Op& Delicatessens Mortg Massage iners Pet ind ages Movin irectory.ctom etr Ph Carexd hot oto e Pet ogr g g gra rap aph Sitting &a Boa ists Organic Food Pai phe her he er rs s Plu mb m Publication bin rding Pet Sto nting ing g Po P olit litic ic s ian Rea res ns s l & Psy P Est syc Sup ych ate Real Est Rec rea tio cho holl ogi gis ti n ists sts ts Psych oth plies ate Agents log the log Cafes SexualRef lexolo gy g y Ren era rap ra py Rea R ova ion e l Estate cho y nss & Res Inv est Resttor Tax Se rvi ces Cou nselling Spa Serttio me nts ora atio tio ns R tau taurran anttss & Tree Service Tel eco mm uni cat ionvices Take Ou t & De Res s Trophies Uph livery Tat too s Yog oga ing a Acc olstery WebTra nsp ort atio n Travel Acco om mm mo moda dattio Sites Weddi ions Acc HIV VR Ac o Re Ressou oun ngs Women’sAgenc ies unttan ourrce anttss Adu Ad l lt Ser me t Banking Bancess Aparrtm Adv ent nts vice vic s Art e ert ess rtis tisi rt G isin ing Gal g Agenc encie iess AID Busine ss & kruptcy Bars & Clubs Bicleries Art Sup AIDS upp DS pl plie S/ liess Art / Ar ists sts Arts & Cra Butchers CarProfessio nal Organi ycles Bookkeeping Boo fts ft Co mm uni ty pet Cleaning Cateringzations Busine ss Sup ks & Magazines plie s & Ser Chat Lines Che Gro oup ups pss & Ser vic Contractingy Gr vic es ese Shops Cho es Co mp p ute ovattion te r Co nsu ltan colatiers Crises Service& Renova ions Cookw kwa ts Co nstruc s & Shelters are re Cos Cosm Dermato me etic tion tio ti ticc Cross-Dressin tolo lo log vice gy y Drag Ent ess Cou Coun g Dating SerServic Ente nse Gardening Gra selllling erttaain l ing ling inm me vices Den ent nt Ev nts t Fra Fr ming & Barbers Hea phic Design Services Eve ng & Pos tter tal Services Grocery Gymmin lth & Person s Fur F Hom nitu nit ome Imp itur s al Hai re e Car Improvem r Removal Hai e Health Foo eme ent ntss & Repairs r d Sty Inv & ve Nut list estme a ritio s Hot ent Hotels H nt Serv n Home Furnish s els Illus I usttra vic ice e ess Jewe ery trrato Leather Life Ser torrss Ins ings nsu ry & Jewe ura ran nce ce Inte Legal Servic elle Interrior elle llerrss Juic ior Design Certifie uic e tified/ es ig Bar Lim ars d/R s Kitc Reg ousine Servic Kitch eg egiiste stered he ens Lawyer red Meat Music Opt atss & Del yers es Locksm hen p ica Delica ical icattes iths ess esse sen ens nss Mortgage Pet Care Petl Services Opt p ometr agess Movin Massage etrist istss Org Sit ting & Boa ganic ani g & Storag nic Foo Plu mb ing od rage d Paintting e rdin i ng Pol itic ian g Pe Person ia nss Psycho g Pet Stores & Supntin nal al Trainers EstVA ateNC Rea log plie OU l Est ists Psy s Photograp VEate at R’SAge P syccho GAnts hottthe RenBU nt Y s&Rea hers herrap ova SIN LESl Est apy tion ESS BIAate y Pub lica s &DIR N te Invest li cattion ResEC estm torTO ion s Rea l me atio SerSPR RY ent nts nt vice vicING ns s Rec ess Tak Res rea tau eattion e Out & Del tio rants & Caf ion 2 e olo Transport201 ive iverry log es Sexual Cou Reflexo gy y y Tat Tatttoo atio ooiing ing Tax nselling Spa Sites Weddi n Travel Ag Agenciies vi vice ces ess Teleco es Tree Ser Servic ngs Women’s enc com mm mu muni vices TrophiTele nica ions Servic vice es Uphols tercattion ess Yoga y Web

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY COMMENT 6 XCETERA 7 NEWS 9 OUT IN THE CITY 17 XPOSED 24

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European model shown. Features and equipment may vary in Canada. MSRP of a 2011 BMW 328i xDrive is $41,550. Finance and lease rates are those offered by BMW Financial Services Canada only on approved credit (OAC). *Finance rate of 0.9% available for up to 36 months. Example: $20,000 financed at 0.9% APR for 36 months equals a monthly payment of $563. Cost of borrowing is $279. **Lease rate of 0.9% available for up to 24 months. Lease example based on $335 a month for 24 months. Down payment or equivalent trade of $4,998. HST and licence fee are extra. Freight and PDI of up to $1,995, licence, insurance, registration, taxes, EHF tire, filter, and battery fees and similar taxes levied on the manufacturer (if charged by the Retailer), and PPSA are extra. Total obligation is $15,904. The residual value at the end of the term is $24,930. †$4,100 cash incentive on the 2011 328i xDrive. Cash incentive applies to lease, finance, and cash purchase transactions. HST, PPSA, and licence fee are additional. Annual kilometres are limited to 16,000 km; $0.15 per excess kilometre. Retailers are free to set individual prices and charge administration fees, which may change the APR or the price of the vehicle. Offer expires April 30, 2012. Delivery must be taken by April 30, 2012. Offer requires Retailer participation. Offer is subject to availability and may be cancelled or changed without notice. Certain conditions apply. See your local BMW Retailer or vancouverretailers.bmw.ca for full details. ††Certain limitations apply; see Retailer for details. Š2012 BMW Canada Inc. “BMW�, the BMW logo, BMW model designations and all other BMW related marks, images and symbols are the exclusive properties and/or trademarks of BMW AG, used under licence.

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EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS TO THE ISSUE: Nathaniel Christopher, Richard J Dalton Jr, Tyler Dorchester, Graeme Gerrard, Grace Genc, Jeremy Hainsworth, Beth Hong, Chris Howey, James Loewen, Raziel, Pega Ren, Steven Schelling ISSN: #1198-0613 PRINTED AND PUBLISHED IN CANADA ©2012 PINK TRIANGLE PRESS. XTRA IS PUBLISHED EVERY TWO WEEKS BY PINK TRIANGLE PRESS

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Roundup #487

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APRIL 19, 2012

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HIV PREVENTION

Post-exposure assistance Until now BC’s policy was unforgiving: gay men who had consensual sex weren’t eligible for PEP if the condom broke or they didn’t use one. A new pilot project aims to make the post-exposure treatment more accessible to all.

›9

NEWSFRONT

He was a ‘tireless and generous community advocate’ David Holtzman is remembered for his generosity, his compassion, his leadership and his smile. › 10

Senior GayStraight Alliance launches in BC It’s the first seniors’ GSA she’s heard of, the co-organizer says. › 14

OPINION

Growing up gay in Turkey I was neither quiet nor strong enough to live that life, writes guest columnist Grace Genc. › 15

Embracing ‘unspeakable’ fantasies How to shake the shame and savour your turn-ons. › 16

VIDEO

Review: Bully A new documentary captures the intense isolation and loneliness of its bullied subjects. Check out our interview with director Lee Hirsch and writer-producer Cynthia Lowen on xtra.ca. › xtra.ca

REGULARS

Commentary › 6 Xcetera › 7 Xposed › 24 COLUMNS

Naked Eye Natasha Barsotti › 6 Ask the Expert Dr Pega Ren › 16 Blitz & Shitz Raziel › 21 The Stuffington Post Graeme Gerrard › 29 CARTOONS

The Brotherhood Tyler Dorchester › 28

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Four gay parties call it quits in one week. What is going on in this city? › 19

COVER PHOTO COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL MUSIC CANADA

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XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

editorial › feedback › debate

Comment The Donald’s fixation Naked Eye Natasha Barsotti

T

HE DONALD HAS A BIRTHcertificate-conspiracy fetish.

After making the where of Barack Obama’s birth the cornerstone of his short-lived, Apprenticelike run for president, Mr “You’re Fired” or, to be precise, his Miss Universe franchise, decided to query the birth-gender credentials of trans contestant Jenna Talackova.

Unless we were born yesterday, we all know pageant organizers first disqualified Talackova for not being a “naturally born” woman, then reinstated her — and finally went a step further. In the future, trans contestants can apply and are welcome in the competition, organizers say.

All is apparently well on the pageant front. End of story.

But even as the storm in a teacup was being sorted, The Donald, being The Donald, felt the need to deal the ultimate Trump card on Barbara Walters’ ABC vehicle, 20/20.

Curious isn’t it, he posited, that if you combine Ms Talackova’s first name, Jenna, with the first three letters of her last, Tal, you come up with . . . JENNATAL? And for pseudodramatic effect, the raj of rugs produced a cue card displaying his discovery in all-caps.

Too much of a planetary alignment to be an innocent coincidence, he facetiously concluded, complete with schoolboy smirk.

That Jenna is working this.

And so, after declaring he “couldn’t care less” if Talackova competes or not, all of a sudden there’s the spectre of a conspiracy and — well, looky here — a potential ratings bonanza on pageant night.

At last year’s White House correspondents’ dinner, Obama himself noted, in a ROFL riot of a Trump roast, that The Donald is wellequipped to get to the bottom of all manner of conspiracies. He even offered him a few suggestions for further investigation: moon landing — fact or fiction?; that 1947 UFO conundrum in Roswell, New Mexico; and what really happened to rap royalty Biggie Smalls and Tupac?

But forward to 2012, where the Miss Universe pageant could ben-

efit from a good kick in the ratings crotch. So what better way to get folks riled up than for Trump, and his made-for-straight-men’sfantasy-lives franchise, to focus on genitalia?

In his clumsily adolescent way, Trump — plus Walters’ own nailson-a-blackboard interview with Talackova about birth names, boyfriends, hormones and vaginas — has made discussion of gender identity, expression and transitioning glaringly and brashly Main St. No dry-as-dust, impenetrable gender-studies academic jargon in sight.

A poised Talackova has calmly asserted her womanhood and right to compete throughout the furore. And, absent the revelation of her birth, she looks, moves and plays the part of the traditional beauty contestant preparing for a performance of mainstream hyper-femininity.

HOW MANY MEN WATCHING LIVE, OR IN TV LAND, WILL BE ABLE TO GET PAST THEIR INSTINCTIVE ‘BUT SHE’S A DUDE’ REFLEX AND ADMIT THEIR ATTRACTION TO HER IN A BAR FULL OF THEIR BUDS? Yet Talackova’s pageant presence troubles norms of desire, attraction and beauty, the contours of which are both tangible and inexplicable.

How many men watching live, or in TV land, will be able to get past their instinctive “but she’s a dude” reflex and admit their attraction to her in a bar full of their buds?

How many women appreciate or envy Talackova’s cover-model looks yet still wonder about her masculinity and look for its vestiges — and find the mystique alluring?

And will Trump’s panel of supposedly impartial pageant judges get bogged down in a silent, collective mind-fuck as they watch Talackova strut her stuff in evening gown and swimsuit?

Or will they see her as she says she sees herself: a woman with a history, and a beautiful one, who can get the job done. Period.

“The outcome that we seek is this — gay and lesbian people daring together to set love free.” Xtra is published by Pink Triangle Press, at 1033 Davie St, Ste 501, Vancouver, BC V6E 1M7.

INBOX Farewell, David Holtzman I AM SO DEEPLY SORRY TO hear about David’s passing [“Holtzman Dies Suddenly of Heart Attack,” xtra.ca, April 10]. We worked together on Project Empty Bowl for a few years and I always enjoyed his levity and professionalism. He was solid. He will be missed.

Rachelle Chinnery Hornby Island, BC THAT YOUR LIFE GAVE US memories too beautiful to forget, we can be forever grateful. Having worked with David at A Loving Spoonful and Leadership Vancouver, I was able to truly consider what kind of man I wanted to be to the world through his lead. Thank you, David, for your relentless, continued, unobstructed, pursuit to make our world a better place. I will always love and miss you.

Brad Hardie Vancouver, BC DAVID, YOU WILL BE TRULY missed as friend, confidant and neighbour. A man who possessed such inner beauty and acceptance for others and who never thought to judge, always seeing the best in people . . . An absolute gentlemen and a character to aspire to! My greatest condolences to you, Peter! RIP, my dear friend!

Brian Kiener Vancouver, BC DEAR PETER, I AM DEEPLY saddened to hear this news about David. I will always remember him as a bright and cheerful being, a pleasure to cross paths with. I am so sorry for us all. He will be so dearly missed.

James Loewen Vancouver, BC DAVID WILL BE TRULY MISSED by so many — a truly good soul and a real “go-getter.” Reeling at the news of his passing.

Kari Berdahl Coquitlam, BC I WAS SHOCKED AT THIS terrible news. I worked with David as a board member when he was executive director of Leadership Vancouver and have followed his work before and after that. David’s commitment to all the communities he served was remarkable. My condolences to Peter and all David’s family and friends.

Bill Tieleman Vancouver, BC

Waiting for leadership on school policy SADLY, WE’LL BE WAITING for such legislation for a long time yet [“C’mon, Christy: Momentum Goes Only So Far Without Lead-

REELING AT THE NEWS OF HIS PASSING.

Send your correspondence by mail to 1033 Davie St, Ste 501, Vancouver, BC, V6E 1M7; email comment@xtra.ca; or log-in to xtra.ca and comment directly. We may edit letters.

ership,” Xtra #485, March 22]. The BC government is too busy with legislation overriding labour-contract bargaining by the teachers — you know, the very people who will have to deal with the bullies in the schools, if ever there should be anti-bullying legislation. Whoa! Where do we find the biggest bullies? Maybe that legislation will be even longer than I thought.

Bart Vogelzang Ladysmith, BC

Bully, meet bullied THE WORST PART OF BEing bullied and being a bully is that the two never meet [“Former Student Seeks Apology from School,” xtra.ca, March 15]. The bully will never regret, won’t ever repent and will not realize the impact his acts had on another person. In most cases the bullied people won’t stand up for themselves. Gary is one of the few people who did, and because of his own hurt, he does the noble thing and wants to help those in the same predicament.

As a parent, I know how it feels to want to “bully” the bully himself, because I’m bigger and stronger. But the couple of times I had to go to school because of bullying, I managed to sort it out in such a manner that my son and his bully became quite close friends. Unfortunately, this isn’t usually the case.

Well done to Gary and to the people helping him with this cause, as well.

William Gaylord Johannesburg, South Africa

comment David will be missed by so many people who were touched by his passion in life [“Holtzman Dies Suddenly of Heart Attack,” xtra.ca, April 10].

—BC Lee Vancouver, BC To comment, go to xtra.ca.

Don’t forget Dorothy YEP, IT’S A PAST GENERATIONAL thing [“Are We Still Friends with Dorothy?” xtra.ca, April 10].

“Are you a friend of Dorothy’s?” was the expression used to identify another gay guy you may have doubted. A part of our gay heritage, and hopefully, a part of our gay history books. Thanks, Dorothy, you and your friends, long-gone but not forgotten pioneers of what we have to be thankful for today.

Alan Hazek NO, WE’RE NOT FRIENDS. Some of us aren’t even friends of Madonna.

James Benjamin

Paying for lesbian sex LOVE THE ARTICLE [“THE Best Sex of My Life,” Xtra #482, Feb 9]. Wonderful to see it in print. In fact, I’m happy every time I see something that sets on its head the myth that women, especially lesbian women, just aren’t much interested in hot, abandoned, adventuresome sex! You go, grrl!

Pega Ren Vancouver, BC YOU GO, GIRL! AFTER FOUR years in the same relationship I feel that I missed out on my teenaged/20s romp. I was closeted until I was in my late 20s, met her one night and she is the only woman I’ve been with since. I feel guilty for wanting to go and fulfill all those crazy nights I never had. Congratulations on being so courageous and sharing your experience.

Playing by the Rules Toronto, ON THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS article! I’m an escort, and the bookings I have with women are always the most exciting and memorable! It’s so great to read something from the other side, too.

Miss Fleur Sydney, Australia IT’S GREAT TO OPEN UP THIS topic, but really? How gendering. All the women I know (and I know a lot), whatever their gender or sexuality, are happy with their sex lives, whether it’s sometimes solo, with a steady partner, or in poly relationships.

It seems internalized sexism to me.

Jackie Ottawa, ON THOUGH I LOVE WOMEN AND I’ve had a couple of opportunities to be with them, I’m just too shy.

I’ve been thinking of hiring a professional. I wouldn’t know where to find a nice butch escort in my area, though.

Marlo Los Angeles, CA HEY, I’M ALL FOR TRYING OUT whatever kind of sex you are into, including hiring an escort. What I’m not into at all is this: “When you find the part of yourself that says it’s okay, that it’s fun and exciting to have sex with someone who is there only for your own sexual pleasure, then you unlock a part of yourself.

For women to do this could be very liberating.”

Liberating? So having someone else there only for your own sexual pleasure is liberating? Um, no. That’s getting into the territory of why some men will beat the shit out of a woman they’ve hired — because they paid for it and it gets them off.

Let’s remember we’re all human beings, and no one exists — paid or not — solely to fulfill the desires of another.

Christine Asheville, NC

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noteworthy › updates › ephemera

Xcetera MISS YOU ALREADY, RICK!

RANDOMC.NET

CENSORED

Santorum ceases

He’s a presidential candidate no more, leaving us adrift in what Dan Savage dubbed “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” For the nostalgic, some select Santorum-isms.

Girls dig boy bonking A website featuring homoerotic fiction written mostly by young Chinese women in their 20s — the youngest a 17-year-old — was shut down by the government and its founder imprisoned and fined.

Created by Wang Ming, 27, the site had published about 1,200 gay-themed stories contributed by writers in Shanghai, Guangzhou and other Chinese cities.

“Boys’ love” tales, or yaoi, with their idealized depictions of gay romance, are a prominent feature of Japanese manga comics targeted to women.

For more, go to refractory.unimelb.edu.au.

ON WHY CONTRACEPTION IS NOT OKAY: “It’s a licence to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

ON BOYS USING PINK BOWLING BALLS: “We’re not gonna let you do that. Not on camera.

Friends don’t let friends use pink balls.”

ON WHY SOCIAL SECURITY’S IN BIG TROUBLE: “We don’t have enough workers to support the retirees. A third of all the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion.”

COMPARING APPLES AND ORANGES, OR CHALK AND CHEESE, OR . . .

“Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?”

LGBTTQIA LGBTTQI Q A . . . C? C IMAGES4.WIKIA.NOCOOKIE.NET

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CHINESE ORIENTATION DISCOVERED An unidentified American college has included Chinese as a sexual orientation on its application form.

The feedback?

“FINALLY they added Chinese and I don’t have to check ‘Other’ like some weirdo.”

Culture War in transit The UK’s unmistakable red double-deckers — 1,000 of them — have been pressed into service to bolster the British same-sex marriage campaign. Emblazoned across their sides is a now well-worn slogan: “Some People Are Gay. Get Over It.” But it seems some in the Christian community just can’t. They wanted a bus campaign too.

Only theirs promoted gay cure therapy, which London mayor Boris Johnson equally couldn’t get over. Not keen on having that concept driven around the city, he pulled the ex-gay ads.

“I think this Chinese thing is just a phase.”

“I experimented with being Chinese for a while back when I was in university.

It’s not something I’m proud of, but a lot of people try it.

Some people, like a billion of them or so, stick with it.”

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dispatches › issues › opinion

Upfront FRASER VALLEY

RIP DAVID, THE BEST DIVERSICORN THAT EVER WALKED THE EARTH. David Holtzman remembered › 10

GAY MEN’S HEALTH

New gay group in Chilliwack Growing faster than expected, organizer says Richard J Dalton Jr WHEN CLARKE FRYER LAUNCHED an email list to offer support for gay people in Chilliwack, he didn’t know how many people, if any, would respond.

“People said there needed to be something, and there was nothing, so I decided to go for it and make something,” says Fryer, who moved back to Chilliwack in May after living in Vancouver for four years. “It was never supposed to be this big.”

It’s not Fryer’s first time organizing a gay group; he launched a gay-straight alliance when he was in high school in Chilliwack.

Out in Chilliwack now meets weekly, offering a gathering place for gays and lesbians of all ages in an area with no gay spaces. The group has 77 Facebook followers, ranging in age from 16 to 60.

“Everybody’s pretty cool and open here,” says Sienna Barnett, 16. “You don’t have to deal with anyone being an ass.”

Les Bohna, 51, says it’s hard to meet gay people in the Valley.

“When you’re out here, in Grindr the people are 30 miles away.”

Zylstra Artz, 45, who has been to five gatherings, says she likes socializing, networking and supporting people who are just coming out.

Jim Nickerson, 53, says he generally has a hard time finding compatible friends, as he’s in a wheelchair, but he feels welcome at Out in Chilliwack.

Christianne Coopman, 63, hosts every other meeting at her home, while her husband works in his motorbike shop. She says she supports the group because Chilliwack, influenced by Christian

Out in Chilliwack members Christianne Coopman, director Clarke Fryer and Parween Irani at a recent meeting. RICHARD J DALTON JR

Initially, Out in Chilliwack met every other week. But in March, members began meeting every Sunday, alternating between the café Sips ’n’ Sweets and — for those uncomfortable attending a gay group in public — a member’s home.

At a recent meeting, 25 people were spread throughout the living room, dining room and kitchen of a home on a quiet street. Uproarious laugher boomed intermittently from the dining room, where seven people played the card game Cheat. Others snacked and gabbed in the kitchen. In the living room, one guest cuddled with a dog on the couch, and five teenagers chatted.

churches, tends to be intolerant.

Growing up in Belgium, Coopman had gay friends and people didn’t care about sexual orientation, she says. “The church doesn’t play such a big role there.”

Some of her friends here have gay children, she adds, and her daughter “doesn’t know if she’s straight or bisexual.”

The group is also moving into social activism. Parween Irani, 38, a teacher at Sardis Secondary School, would like to see the group push for an anti-bullying policy in the district’s schools.

“We’re a very conservative community,” she says. “Change is happening, but it’s moving at a glacial pace.”

Bill Coleman welcomes the nPEP pilot project, but he wonders why it took so long to launch and says it will leave gay men outside Vancouver at risk. NATHANIEL CHRISTOPHER

Accessing HIV post-exposure drugs BC launches nPEP pilot project Nathaniel Christopher GAY MEN IN VANCOUVER WILL SOON have expanded access to a drug therapy that can prevent them from becoming HIV-positive after exposure to the virus.

Next month the Ministry of Health and the BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS (BC-CfE) will implement an 18-month pilot project called non-occupational post-exposure prophylaxis (nPEP).

Right now PEP treatments, which are initiated within 72 hours of exposure to HIV and cost between $1,000 and $1,500, are publicly funded only for victims of sexual assault or people exposed to the virus in the workplace.

Under nPEP the government will cover the costs for treatments following other high-risk exposures to HIV, such as unprotected sex and intravenous drug use.

“Non-occupational post-exposure prophylaxis will be rolled out in the next few weeks,” confirms Dr Val Montessori, co-chair of the therapeutic guidelines committee at BC-CfE. “If the individual is assessed as having been in a high-risk situation, nPEP, which includes three medications active against HIV, will be prescribed.”

NPEP will soon be available at St Paul’s Hospital’s emergency department, the John Ruedy Immunodeficiency Clinic at the BC Centre for Disease Control, the Bute St Clinic, Spectrum Health Clinic and the Vancouver Coastal Health Downtown Community Health Centre.

NPEP is not the “morning-after pill” for unsafe sex, but it can be an effective tool to prevent infection, says Jody Jollimore, project manager for the Health Initiative for Men (HIM).

“PEP is not a silver bullet,” he notes.

“It’s not going to prevent HIV infections in our community completely, but certainly in certain instances it can be an effective tool. Our key will be to

promote it not as the end of condom use but something that can be used in addition to a condom.”

PEP can have mild to severe side effects for many people, he adds.

“This is not a walk in the park,” he says. “In fact, the research says that over 80 percent of guys who access PEP once never return for a second course.

So guys aren’t using this as a morningafter pill. And they won’t.”

HIM has been pushing for PEP to be more accessible to gay men for years.

In 2010, the organization released a position paper titled “Post-Exposure Prophylaxis for Consensual Sexual Activity in British Columbia,” which argues that gay men are becoming HIVpositive because they can’t access PEP. The paper describes three Vancouver men who tried to access PEP after having unprotected receptive anal sex with other men. One of them was “able and eager” to pay for the PEP himself; the other two were not given the option of paying. All three were denied the treatment and subsequently seroconverted.

Bill Coleman, a Vancouver therapist who has worked with the HIV community for more than 25 years, says inaction from provincial HIV policymakers led to many needless HIV infections.

“They are slow and backward in their policy,” Coleman says. “I still see people who, if they would have known about PEP, might not be infected and may not have infected other people. I just think it’s quite unforgivable that they didn’t take any action for years.”

Jollimore notes that some gay men are able to access PEP with the right health insurance, a doctor who will prescribe it and knowledge of the treatment itself. “Without that it’s a bit of a patchwork as to who can get it and who can not,” he says.

Jollimore believes the nPEP pilot project was implemented in response

to growing pressure from the gay community and the recent thrust toward prevention through treatment.

Montessori agrees that nPEP “dovetails nicely with the efforts currently underway in BC to expand HIV treatment as prevention, which is aimed to curb AIDS-related morbidity and mortality, as well as new HIV infections. BC is currently leading the country regarding the rate of decline of AIDS-related morbidity and mortality, as well as new infections, and this trend has remained apparent over the last decade.”

Coleman wonders why the project is limited to just Vancouver. He believes the action being taken is halfhearted and leaves much of the population at risk.

“Why would it be a pilot project, and why isn’t it available everywhere in the province?” he asks. “What if you live in Victoria or Prince George and need PEP? Many provinces provide it, so why is this place so backwards?”

Access to nPEP varies by province and territory. It is covered only in Quebec, PEI, Newfoundland and Labrador and on a case-by-case basis in Alberta, according to Jim Pollock, communications director at the Canadian AIDS Treatment Information Exchange.

NPEP has been available in Quebec residents since 1999 and is funded there by the provincial drug plan regardless of how the patient was exposed to HIV. It’s also available at every hospital and health centre in Newfoundland and Labrador.

“It’s all covered here,” says Gerard Yetman, executive director of the AIDS Committee of Newfoundland and Labrador. “We’re also in discussion to have PEP available with our needle exchange van that actually operates in two centres in the province. PEP is available, basically, for anybody who requires it.”

Montessori says the BC-CfE will share the results of the pilot project with the BC government, which will ultimately decide how readily available nPEP will be in the future.

10

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David Holtzman remembered He was a ‘tireless and generous community advocate’ Jeremy Hainsworth

C

OMMUNITY ACTIVIST DAVID Holtzman, who died of a heart attack in Palm Springs on April 9, is being remembered as a compassionate man with a quick mind and a lively sense of humour.

He was on holiday with his partner, Peter Regier, when he passed away. He had just turned 53.

“He was kind. He was generous.

He was willing to help out. He was all the best things you could hope for in a human being,” says friend Barb Snelgrove, who worked with Holtzman on the Positive Living BC Red Ribbon Advisory Council. “I am humbled to have worked alongside such a tireless and generous community advocate.”

“David has been a community organizer, activist and out queer man for all of his adult life,” says his staff biography for Out on Screen, where he was director of operations and human resources. “He spends most of his work — and play — time in the social profit sector where he finds meaning and where a community lives its values. His hobbies include dreaming, watching queer cinema, snowboarding, yoga, running and urban farming.”

“Community and community development excites me because it affects all of us,” Holtzman wrote on his LinkedIn profile. “It’s the challenge that lies in consciously creating the physical and social communities we want.

“It is a pleasure to explore and engage people in seemingly simple but enormously important ideas like democracy, civil society, dialogue, conflict resolution (or better yet — conflict avoidance) and fostering meaningful collaboration and community leadership,” he continued. “That’s the challenge — and the reward.”

Prior to joining the Out on Screen staff, Holtzman was executive director of A Loving Spoonful from 1996 to 2001. He also directed Leadership Vancouver from 2001 to 2006, and in the last 25 years worked in Europe, Asia and around North America with the Department of External Affairs, Rick Hansen’s Man in Motion tour, World University Service of Canada and the Canadian Council on Learning.

“I have a passion for collaboration and good facilitation. I feel humbled and very fortunate to live in the best country in the world and most livable city,” Holtzman wrote on LinkedIn. “Yet I think we can do better in the way we live, work and play together and the way we steward our planet.”

“David is the ever gracious leader who empowers others to realize their greatness,” Leadership Vancouver student Amanda Bonella wrote on LinkedIn. “He was the backbone of my volunteer service at VQFF, but more than that, he was a sweet, funny, smart man who opened his heart and his life to me, and I will miss him so, so much. I just can’t stop crying. RIP David, the best Diversicorn that ever walked the earth,” Vancouver Queer Film Festival volunteer Verna Morse posted on

above: David Holtzman will be

remembered for his warmth and compassion, his bright, genuine smile, his generosity and his commitment to community building. PETER REGIER left: David Holtzman and his partner, Peter Regier, in December 2010.

FACEBOOK

Holtzman’s Facebook page when news of his death surfaced.

“Today we lost a dear friend, a mentor, a role model, a community leader.

You are someone I aspire to become. I love your passion, wit and hard work.

You are gone too soon. You are deeply missed,” Yogi Omar posted.

“What an amazing man in every way, always kind, always respectful and always said hello. He gave me a sense of faith in us all to be better men in being kinder to each other,” Mark Long posted.

“One bright, beautiful light in the world just went out,” Kaylum Thornbury posted.

“The world is a smaller, greyer place without you in it. I never met anyone who combined your vast capacity for laughter with serious and effective activism. I will miss you,” Karen Opaslanouette posted.

Snelgrove says Holtzman firmly believed in having a sense of humour while being serious about one’s work.

Holtzman’s good humour, commitment to creating positive change and balanced approach to life is reflected in his last posts on Facebook.

In one post he encouraged people to get involved with Occupy Canada protests against the federal Conservative

government on issues such as election fraud and surveillance legislation.

In another, he checked in from Cathedral City, California, where he was on holiday with Regier.

“OK, everybody out of the pool, it’s time to beer bust,” Holtzman wrote.

Holtzman and Regier became highprofile denouncers of violence against the queer community after they were gaybashed in June 2010. Both men recently took the stand to testify against their alleged attackers.

Holtzman displayed his quick humour even while under relentless crossexamination, drawing a few laughs in the normally staid court proceedings when at one point he asked a defence lawyer to “do that little dance again.”

But Snelgrove cautions against remembering Holtzman solely for that case.

“He was fearless in the fight against hate crimes but also an impassioned advocate in many other areas within our community, such as bullying and his work with people living with HIV,” she says. “He was always willing to jump in on any cause with passion, humour and grace.”

“I know he really enjoyed his role working with Out on Screen as director of operations/HR, a job he was absolutely perfectly suited for,” Snelgrove adds.

It is not yet known what services will be held in Holtzman’s memory.

more at xtra.ca

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11

RED TAPE

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

East Van theatre wins liquor victory

Russian activists win first round vs anti-gay law

Gareth Kirkby THE RIO THEATRE’S SURVIVAL prospects got a lot rosier this week when the provincial cabinet minister responsible for liquor laws eased up on restrictions that date back to the 1920s.

Rich Coleman okayed new regulations that he described as a “common-sense solution” to overly strict rules that made theatres choose between showing movies or serving alcohol.

The Rio, which has become a major gathering place for queers off The Drive, saw its revenues plummet by two-thirds after the liquor board allowed it to serve alcohol during live shows provided it stopped showing movies altogether.

Rio owner Corinne Lea strongly applauds Coleman’s changes, which will allow adults to drink at their seats when no young people are around or to drink in designated areas at all-ages movies and events.

Lea wants to designate a balcony as a spot for youth, allowing their parents to drink in the main auditorium.

Coleman says other liquor rule changes are coming. Lea hopes the province will soon allow adults to drink alcohol while sitting with young people, as they do at Rogers Arena for sports events and rock concerts — the quietest, most civilized events, Lea says.

GAYBOURHOOD

‘Desexifying’ Toronto’s gay village Andrea Houston TORONTO’S CHURCH AND Wellesley Village Business Improvement Area (BIA) has cancelled its annual Fetish Fair and plans to replace it with “inclusive events,” such as a sidewalk sale.

BIA co-chair Liz Devine says merchants have been making an effort to appeal to families, among other people, in recent years. Just don’t call the move “family-friendly.”

“We would rather call it neighbourhood-friendly, communityinclusive,” she says.

“Let’s call this what it is,” counters Northbound Leather owner George Giaouris. “Trying to soften the Fetish Fair and put in bouncy castles, like they did last year — it killed it.”

The cancellation of Fetish Fair is a major blow and signals the “desexifying” of the Village, Giaouris says.

“This is yet another unique experience that has been removed from the list of reasons to go to the Village,” he says. “The more the neighbourhood is homogenized, the more bland it becomes, and the less interesting.”

Devine says the fair was bad for business. Some local business people agree; some don’t.

“Many of the business owners on Church St are straight, and they don’t get the whole fetish thing,” Steamworks manager John Broadhagen points out.

For more on this story, go to xtra.ca.

No evidence, court rules Natasha Barsotti IN A TEST OF THE BOUNDARIES OF newly passed legislation prohibiting “gay propaganda” in St Petersburg, Russia, two Moscow Pride activists publicly displayed banners that read, “Gay — this is normal.”

Alexei Kiselyov and Kirill Nepomnyashy were the first to be arrested under the new law but were subsequently released for lack of sufficient evidence.

On April 6, the day after the arrests, Magistrate Alexei Kuznetsov found the evidence police presented against the two did not meet legal requirements, according to Gay Star News.

The St Petersburg’s law, which was authored by the United Russia party’s Vitaly Milonov and came into effect March 17, calls for fines against people who promote “public actions aimed at propaganda of sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transgenderism among minors.” Those who flout the law face penalties ranging from 5,000 rubles ($170 US) for individuals to 500,000 rubles for businesses.

“There was of course no propaganda

Moscow Pride activist Alexei Kiselyov is dragged off by police after he and Kirill Nepomnyashy held up banners marked “Gay — this is normal.” GAYRUSSIA.RU

in the activists’ actions. They were only trying to tell society common scientific truths about the fact that homosexuality is not an illness but a natural and normal sexual orientation,” lawyer and prominent activist Nikolai Alexeyev, who represented Kiselyov and Nepomnyashy, told gayrussia.ru.

Alexeyev also reportedly told Gay Star News that “posters themselves were not brought to court by police as evidence.”

Neither did the court hear an additional charge that Kiselyov or Nepomnyashy did not apply for a permit to stage a protest.

“The fate of these administrative

cases is dependent on the actions of the police to address the violations,” Alexeyev told Gay Star News. “If the records are returned to the court, the magistrate will consider the case and give a verdict. But in such cases, the police often simply close the case. It shows the absolute inoperability of the law.”

The cities of Ryazan, Arkhangelsk and Kostroma preceded St Petersburg in passing similar anti-gay legislation that the Orthodox Church and political authorities want to entrench across the country.

Russia’s virulent homophobia is well established, despite the decriminalization of homosexuality in 1993 under former president Boris Yeltsin.

Several attempts to stage gay Pride events in Moscow have been repeatedly squelched — five times by previous mayor Yury Luzhkov, who described them as “satanic gatherings,” and last year by current Mayor Sergey Sobyanin.

The crackdown has forced Alexeyev and fellow gay activists to resort to creative subterfuge to throw police and other anti-gay forces off their scent as they try to hold short marches and protests with rainbow banners in train.

Undaunted, activists have designated Sunday, May 27 Gay Pride Day.

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IN HIGH SCHOOL, DARREN HO recalls boys writing, “Darren’s so gay” in his notebook or calling him girly. A shy kid who didn’t like standing out, Ho kept mostly to himself.

Now a 23-year-old linguistics major at Simon Fraser University, he says he couldn’t talk to his parents about what was going on in school or tell them that he couldn’t sleep at night.

He was overwhelmed with fear about how they would react to his being gay. When he came out to his friends in Grade 11, he didn’t tell his parents.

They still don’t know.

Ho’s experience as a gay Asian Canadian teen is common in BC. A study released on March 28 from the University of British Columbia found that lesbian, gay and bisexual Asian Canadian youth are 30 times more likely to face harassment than their heterosexual peers. They are also more likely to use drugs or alcohol, according to the study conducted by professor Elizabeth Saewyc.

The report’s findings were based on 5,423 Asian Canadian youth who completed the BC Adolescent Health Survey in 2003. Another key finding is the importance of relationships, particularly with teachers and family, in potentially alleviating some of the negative effects of racist and homophobic bullying.

“Family connectedness really does make a difference for sexual minorities,” Saewyc says. “Unfortunately, many feel that they have to deal with it themselves, which is a shame because they deal with homophobia, racism and discrimination.”

Brian Wong can relate to Ho’s experience as a gay Asian Canadian growing up in Metro Vancouver. The 27-yearold grew up in East Vancouver as a second-generation Chinese Canadian.

Wong, too, was bullied from Grades 8 to 12 by classmates who called him “gay” and “girly.” He got depressed, and his grades slipped from As and Bs to Cs by the time he graduated. While he didn’t turn to alcohol or drugs, he thought many times about suicide.

At 19, he finally came out to his mother. Her reaction was surprisingly accepting, but she did not tell her husband. Wong finally came out to his father two years ago.

“He said he knew something was wrong a year before,” he recalls. “But ultimately he said, ‘You’re our son and we love you.’”

WHEN DARREN HO CAME OUT TO HIS FRIENDS IN GRADE 11, HE DIDN’T TELL HIS PARENTS. THEY STILL DON’T KNOW. When asked about his relationship with his parents now, Wong says it’s still an uncomfortable topic for his parents to discuss with their friends and colleagues. However, it also hasn’t been as negative as he expected. He remembers, in particular, shopping with his father at Pacific Centre last December.

“Hollister had two male buff models in swim shorts standing in front of the store, enticing people to go in,” he said.

His father made sure to point them out to him. “I thought that was very indicative of his level of support for me now.”

Ho now dedicates most of his time outside class to Our City of Colours, a project that produces posters featuring visibly diverse gay youth speaking different languages. He co-founded the project last May with an ethnically

diverse group of gay men. It is also a personal quest to reach out to his parents’ generation of Chinese Canadians.

In a blue leather-bound notebook, Ho keeps an Xtra news clipping featuring a photo of a middle-aged Chinese man holding up a sign that reads, “No Policy 5.45/What’s your hidden agenda?” in English and Chinese. The Burnaby school board approved the anti-homophobia policy last June, in the face of fiery opposition from a vocal group of parents in the community who organized themselves under the banner Parents’ Voice.

Many of the group’s members were of Chinese origin and are first-generation Chinese Canadians, like Ho’s parents.

The photograph provokes both deep frustration and anger in Ho, at the passive silence of Chinese Canadians about sexuality, as well as the bigotry of those who do speak about it.

“It’s just one more thing I have to fight against,” he says, looking at the photograph.

For Ho, the complicated silence around sexuality at home verges on the absurd. His laptop has a large rainbow sticker stuck on the front case, and he uses it around the house in plain sight of his parents.

“They never ask me, ‘Oh, does this sticker mean that you’re gay?’ Or maybe they don’t make the connection that rainbow equals gay, or maybe they don’t want to talk about the possibility of me being gay, or they’ve never noticed the sticker.”

He also has a T-shirt with a pink triangle that he wears around the house.

They’ve never asked him about that, either. “My parents never talk about it, or they never point and ask, ‘What does that pink triangle mean on your shirt?’” he says.

He is not yet ready to break the silence between himself and his parents, particularly with his father. When asked what he thinks his father’s reaction might be, he pauses.

“I don’t know,” he says, with a resigned smile. “I’ve been asked this question many times and always my answer has been, ‘I don’t know.’”

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14

Vancouver’s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

SENIORS

Inaugural Senior Gay-Straight Alliance launches in BC First GSA for seniors she’s heard of, co-organizer says Richard J Dalton Jr AMONG THE USUAL LAWN BOWLING and crafts activities held April 11 at a New Westminster seniors’ drop-in centre was an inaugural gathering more common to high schools than seniors’ spaces.

The newly formed Senior GayStraight Alliance (GSA) hosted its first meeting at Century House, a seniors’ centre run by New Westminster’s Parks, Culture and Recreation department.

Organizers say approximately 15 people attended, including a few newcomers.

“Century House seems to be on the welcoming edge, even though there isn’t a Pride flag out yet,” says co-organizer Doug Tomlinson. “When we have a decal on our front door, that’ll be the day when we’ve arrived.”

After months of planning, organizers announced the groundbreaking GSA’s launch last month during a screening of Gen Silent, a documentary about seniors going back into the closet to avoid discrimination.

The movie played a key role in the GSA’s creation. One of the group’s cofounders, Barbara Webster, who is a lesbian, saw the documentary when she attended the annual conference of

the American Society on Aging. She and her straight peers were moved to try to prevent the isolation and closeted living that many gay and lesbian seniors face.

The Vancouver region is an apt place for such a group, with its large gay population in a province with an older-thanaverage age demographic. About 15 percent of British Columbians are at least 65 years old, the highest percentage of the western provinces, according to Statistics Canada.

Alexandra Henriques, a community developer at Qmunity’s Generations Project, helped get the group started, with assistance from Century House, Family Services of Greater Vancouver and the Senior Services Society of New Westminster. This is the first GSA for seniors she’s heard of.

“They didn’t want it just for LGBT,” Henriques notes. “There were many straight seniors seeing the need and wanting to be involved.”

“They saw the need, and they had the support around them,” she adds.

In addition to allowing allies to help, founding a GSA makes it easier for closeted seniors to participate, Webster says.

She thinks of her own 86-year-old closeted gay cousin, who lives in California

The organizers of the new Senior Gay-Straight Alliance at Century House.

Back: Heather Whiteford, Krysta Frazee, Doug Tomlinson. Middle: Barbara Webster, Vance McFadyen, Lesley Cole. Front: Shelly Schnee, Alexandra Henriques, Marg Mckee. RICHARD J DALTON JR

and often eats alone; he spent his last two Christmas holidays with no one.

“I see him being very isolated at this stage of life where his own health isn’t excellent,” she says. “It just seems such a shame. So I think of him and people like him when we’re trying to put something like this together, where hopefully we can give people in that kind of situation the opportunity — by calling it a gay-straight alliance — to be able to take

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that chance and come because they’re not being labelled anything by taking a chance and coming through the door.”

Century House ran notices in its newsletter that the group was forming.

A few people joined the first planning session. Now 13 people attend organizing meetings, and about 200 people attended the group’s launch/movie night.

“What we wanted to have was an alliance so that people are integrated and

come to learn about each other and accept each other and find out about one another and maybe open minds a bit and make new friends,” says co-founder Vance McFadyen.

McFadyen says he has seen firsthand why such a group is necessary to help gays and lesbians feel comfortable living openly. As a resident care attendant at a Richmond hospital in 1994/95, he saw gay and lesbian seniors treated by aides with nasty words and neglect.

“You hear things: ‘He’s just an old fag,’” McFadyen says. “You could just see a different level of treatment.”

The idea of the group is to “have seniors who are gay feel comfortable coming to this facility,” he says. McFadyen, who founded New Westminster’s Pride Society, knows of just three gay people who are out among the 1,800 seniors who regularly attend Century House.

Though such a group for seniors is groundbreaking, not one member of the centre has voiced opposition, McFadyen says.

Heather Whiteford, project manager of Family Services of Greater Vancouver and a straight ally in the new GSA, remembers the courage of people coming out when she was younger. Though much progress has been made, there’s still more work to be done, she says.

“I think this is an opportunity for us to see that we can’t get complacent,” she says. “The community of New Westminster — both LGBT and allies — are coming together.”

the deets SENIOR GSA MEETING Wed, May 16, 1–2:30pm Century House 620 Eighth St, New Westminster

xtra.ca The definitive news source for gay and lesbian Canadians

more at xtra.ca

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

15

MIDDLE EAST

Growing up gay inTurkey Guest column Grace Genc

B

EFORE I COULD PAY FOR MY breakfast wrap and tea, my girlfriend grabbed my hand and pulled some bills from her own pocket. Her noble gesture instantly drew my lips to hers. As I pulled away, I shot a glance around the cafĂŠ, expecting to ďŹ nd a frown or some judgmentcontorted features.

To my surprise, I found neither.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 24. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been in a lesbian relationship for a year and I still expect someone to chase me down with a torch and a pitchfork. Or stone me to death.

In Syria, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Bhutan, Bangladesh and many other countries, homosexual acts are punishable by death or prison. I was, luckily, not born in one of those countries. But I endured my fair share of oppression during my youth in Turkey, where homosexuality bounces between being a sinful diversion and a fatal taboo.

Growing up, my skin was a holy secret not to be revealed. It worked on the principle of the less, the better â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the same as the number of boyfriends I was permitted.

For a long time, that was just fine with me. I had no problem being just

Gay in the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Burbsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?

friends with the opposite sex and never had to challenge my parents. But then something hit me at 90 kilometres per hour: what if thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because I wanted something else?

In the protective yet subdued bubble of fear that I was raised in, there was never anything but boys mentioned.

Girls who like other girls would exist only in my brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DVD cabinet. Man on man would be a circus act, literally.

The unwritten rules of an ancient culture steeped in male dominance had erased all the sapphic possibilities from our beds. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what â&#x20AC;&#x153;lesbianâ&#x20AC;? meant.

As puberty slowly chewed away at my skin and revealed my feminine highlights, I grew more aware of how things felt â&#x20AC;&#x153;down there.â&#x20AC;? It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take too long for me to realize that I liked pink bits over stiff sticks, but when it came to saying this out loud . . .

I ďŹ rst tried to tell a few close friends.

To this day, I still donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how some of them felt about it, as they suddenly evaporated. A couple of them seemed convinced that I would want to have sex with them on a daily basis and felt the need to warn me against it.

My colleagues were even more confused. The guys tried to accept me as one of them; the girls were offended and distant. It got to a point where my sexual preference overshadowed all my other qualities, so I had to quit. My sexuality had just cost me a job.

Turkey may not be as punishing as Syria or some its neighbours, but being openly gay there still isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t easy. COURTESY OF GRACE GENC

Next step was my family. When I tried to drop hints stronger than bombs, they simply turned the other way and ignored it. They refused to even listen, and we came to an unofficial agreement: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not gay, and they wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want grandkids.

I began noticing more and more homosexuals around. Walking down the street became a quiet game of â&#x20AC;&#x153;spot the gay,â&#x20AC;? and to my surprise there were many, though they tried not to stand out.

THATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WHEN I DECIDED THAT I WAS NEITHER QUIET NOR STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE THAT LIFE.

Meeting a few on the sly brought me to the nightclubs where we were all unleashed.

It was all there, only in such secrecy that to get into the club you had to arrive with someone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been there before.

It was there that I met boys whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been molested by their families after coming out. It was their â&#x20AC;&#x153;lessonâ&#x20AC;? to learn. I saw traces of physical violence and abandonment all over them.

I met lesbians who constantly had to ward off the attentions of â&#x20AC;&#x153;real menâ&#x20AC;? determined to convert them. Their taunts often turned violent.

Even at police stations, where some went to seek refuge, danger lurked in disguise. Reporting crimes against homosexuals was a farce that could leave you exposed against your will.

In March 2008, a bartender was punched to death for his ďŹ&#x201A;amboyant attitude. The common verdict: he had it coming! None of us stood up. Our legs were shaking with the fear of being the next example.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s when I decided that I was neither quiet nor strong enough to live that life. So I chose to leave.

I left the war zone not because I wanted to dodge bullets exactly, but because discrimination is a lot like stray shrapnel. It makes life a living hell.

Now Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m here, learning how to live openly and hold my girlfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hand in public.

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16

Vancouver’s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

FIRE & BRIMSTONE FETISH

‘Unspeakable’ fantasy

xtra.ca The definitive news source for gay and lesbian Canadians

The all new

www.squirt.org

Ask the Expert Dr Pega Ren

Dear Dr Ren, When I was growing up, I was immersed in fire-and-brimstone religiosity. When I hit puberty, I was horrified to realize that corporal punishment and even fantasies of divine retribution for impure thoughts would get me off.

When I grew up, I dumped every part of the church and its teachings, but I can’t seem to get away from the connection with the turn-on and the religious imagery. If I really want to get off, I still have to conjure up images of humiliation or punishment.

Since it feels like all that religious stuff still owns me, I can’t allow myself to really enjoy it. It still feels so bad!

Is there a way out of this dilemma?

Religious Conundrum

Dear Religious Conundrum, You are making an assumption that your religious upbringing shaped the landscape of your erotic identity. That may or may not be true, but regardless, you cannot escape what turns you on. Some people brought up in non-religious environments share your fantasies. Who knows if your triggers would be any different if your past varied?

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We do know that whatever major influences abound in adolescence — the maturational stage of sexual awakening and independence from our primary family — are ripe for forming significance and taboo. Young, malleable psyches can manage overwhelming images by eroticizing them. It certainly worked for you. Actually, linking taboo and eroticism is a common theme.

In any case, look how creative you’ve been. You’ve translated that taboo into a mattress-slapping, muscle-straining, testimonial that gives calling out God’s name a whole new meaning. Perhaps you can take some satisfaction in knowing how perverse those church fathers would find your interpretation of their brimstone messages. After all, their purpose is to dismantle lust, while you’ve used masters’ tools to build a magnificent temple to it.

Consider the fact that so many others have succumbed to forsaking or repressing their unsanctioned fantasies, accepting instead lukewarm and unsatisfying sexual encounters, longing for what you have claimed for yourself.

They likely experience the same shame and guilt you feel but, unlike you, don’t get to savour their favourite turn-ons.

The ultimate “up yours” would be to enjoy exactly the sort of sex you like the most, without the negative emotions of shame and guilt, wouldn’t it? It can be yours — it can be everybody’s — with a simple shift of perspective.

There are many people who are hav-

ing all the “right” — heterosexual, married (to each other), monogamous, procreative — kinds of sex in unhappy, even abusive relationships. Some of those folks are turned on by the same naughty visions that you are. They are just as tortured by them as you are, and they will likely never get to try them on in real life. Now there’s the shame if you ask me. At least you are considering letting yourself experience your bliss.

Do “normals” rate more points than those who have “bad” (gay, casual, reproductively protected) sex? Who decides?

Alfred Kinsey, perhaps the 20th century’s greatest sex researcher, found the degree of religiosity (rather than the brand) most affected a person’s enjoyment of sex: the greater the religiosity, the greater the shame. And you tell me you were “immersed.”

Not many simply awaken one day, say, “I’ve been duped!” and recover from years of sex- and body-negativity training. Unless you make personal sexual decisions based on what works best for you, you will always be trying, probably unsuccessfully, to live up to someone else’s standards, ultimately unsatisfying.

Doing it differently begins with a single vote for yourself. Then another.

And another. It’s reinforced with conversations with other sex-positive individuals and joyous, guilt-free encounters with lovers who unabashedly worship your body and encourage you to explore theirs. It’s cemented further

when laughter erupts during sex, and when you gaze into someone’s eyes and are met with understanding and vulnerability.

If you want to learn more about kink and power exchange, there’s a vibrant and well-connected BDSM community in most urban centres and even many small areas, happy to show you the ropes. Safety and consent are priorities, and diversity is appreciated rather than judged. Sexual expression is endorsed and your choice of expression is considered your own business.

The internet is a rich source of validation for you, too. There you can find others who share your fantasies, learn from experts and peers, read fiction and research, join groups and even find romantic and sexual partners.

When you start kicking open doors, you’ll find there are beautiful vistas behind each of them. Of course, you must vanquish the monsters of fear and shame to continue to the next level, but every progression brings pride and confidence in your ability to think for yourself, independently. And you learn to revel in your enjoyment of sex.

In your case, you’ll know you’ve come home sexually when you risk sharing your “unspeakable” fantasies with someone who responds, “Yeah.

Me, too!” and leads you away by the hand, smiling.

Got a question for Dr Ren? asktheexpert@xtra.ca

more at xtra.ca

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

17

arts › entertainment › leisure

Out City IN THE

THE CAUSE OF THE FLAMEOUTS SEEMED TO STEM FROM THE ORGANIZERS THEMSELVES. Gay nights flame out ›19

COVER STORY

Born again

Rufus Wainwright strikes a manlier, and poppier, pose

I

N THE PAST 14 YEARS RUFUS Wainwright has released 10 albums, battled addiction, fought against gay marriage, fought for gay marriage, lost his mother to cancer and welcomed the birth of a daughter.

His latest album, Out of the Game, puts him back in it — only this time the game is different, and so is he.

I used to. I don’t anymore. But I still like flirting with them, and I think they like flirting with me.

You worked with Helena Bonham Carter in the video for “Out of the Game.” Why did you cast her? What was it like working with her?

She’s a dear friend of mine, and I feel like she’s one of the great living legends of cinema. One of the parts I most enjoyed was dressing her up somewhat like Bette Davis. There’s a lot of Bette Davis going on with her clothes, and with her hair up, she looked absolutely stunning. The one downside was having her next to me. I looked pretty ravaged, so I’m a brave man to put her in my video!

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT: I’m not going through troubling times at the moment, but I’ve had a rough couple years dealing with the death of my mother. I have a boyfriend and a healthy, beautiful daughter, so I’m doing okay.

I think it’s more that I live in Canada and the US. In Canada, the Harper government is similar to the Bush administration, which isn’t so good for us gays. And on the American side, dealing with the rightwing, the Tea Party and a lot of these [GOP] candidates, like Romney and Santorum, it’s just gotten so whacked out that it’s comical.

I was watching an interview where you were promoting Want One, in 2003. It was quite early in your career, yet you said that if it all had to end, you were satisfied with what you had contributed to pop. So if you feel that satisfaction, why keep going?

Well, I don’t know. I adore Want One and Want Two, and I feel in a lot of ways they’re my most insightful albums. But now, after working with Mark and really getting a visceral sense of what love is, which is essentially letting go, I think this album is more of a contribution to pop.

I lived in the US, and in ways the animosity and confusion was palpable. Do you feel it when you’re there?

Yeah, it can be difficult. But when I’m in the US, I’m usually in New York and LA, so it’s not so bad. I’m sure if I was somewhere like Alabama, it wouldn’t be so comical.

There’s a distinctly ’70s vibe to the songs, which I think is done well, possibly because you’re a child of the ’70s. I’m wondering if the death of your mother and birth of your daughter is a part of why you decided to throw back to that era?

Does it signify a sort of rebirth for you?

It’s very interesting that you mention that.

I hadn’t thought of it in those terms. One of the most important things that I’ve learned is that the mother gives birth to you twice — once when you’re born and once when she dies. I think on this album, especially

Was writing the album cathartic with helping you get over the loss of your mother?

Do you fall for straight guys a lot?

XTRA: Speaking of Out of the Game, you’ve said that you wanted to make “something to serenade us through these very, very troubling times.” What do you find troubling about these times, and are you going through personal troubles?

Yes, I was conscious of it. But I think more importantly [producer] Mark Ronson was conscious of it . . . On one hand, he took me to the next level, but he also maintained my essence.

In some sense it was about that. I guess it would be ridiculous for me to say that wasn’t a part of it. But I think more of it had to do with my mother’s passing, which stirred up a lot of needs and emotions in me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. It was a lot of fun writing the album, and that’s what I needed more than anything. I needed to be silly and crazy and, you know, get back to my favourite things, like flirting with straight men, and with Mark I did that. It was great!

Raziel

This album is more pop and dance than your earlier work yet remains true to your catalogue. Were you consciously striving for that balance?

With your musical family on one side, and with Leonard Cohen as a grandfather on the maternal side [Wainwright and his partner had a baby girl last year with Leonard Cohen’s daughter, Lorca], did your decision to become a father have anything to do with a desire to keep your families’ legacies alive?

Why do you think there aren’t more mainstream gay pop artists? Does it stem from insecurity? Sometimes it seems like we’d rather live vicariously through a female blonde pop star than believe that we could be that pop star. in my voice, there’s a more mature sound.

I hate to use the word, but it sounds more “manly” because I’ve had to grow up a little more and get a little tougher. I no longer have the love and attention that my mother gave me, that only a mother can give. So, yeah, it is a rebirth of sorts.

In the single “Out of the Game,” you refer to the absurdity of today’s youth and their obsession with themselves channelled through social media. Do you worry about raising a child in this climate?

I do, but I have a daughter, and I think if I were raising a girl in the 1950s there would be bigger issues to deal with. I tend to think of the positive, and even though we still have a long way to go for women’s rights, I think it’s better to raise a girl now than during any other period in world history.

Rufus Wainwright’s new album, Out of the Game, available online and in stores on April 24, was shaped largely by his mother’s recent death. UNIVERSAL MUSIC

I NEEDED TO BE SILLY AND CRAZY AND, YOU KNOW, GET BACK TO MY FAVOURITE THINGS, LIKE FLIRTING WITH STRAIGHT MEN.

Well, there’s Ricky Martin, and there’s Mika, who’s sort of gay, or at least he acts gay. Yeah, it is a bit weird. I’ve never quite understood it. Let’s hope that it’s just because the ice is melting and creating change. I’ve always been pretty much at the forefront of that issue. I wouldn’t say that I’m responsible for the changes, but I’ve been pushing hard for them for a few years, and it seems to be paying off. I still have a lot of interest in my career, and people who want to work with me and respect me. You just have to work for it, and it requires a lot of tenacity, which isn’t exactly a pop virtue.

Unless you’re Lady Gaga, of course.

What have you not done yet that you still want to accomplish?

There’s a French record lurking in the distance, so watch out for [in a French accent] Roo-foos!

18

Vancouver’s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

listings ›

New Zealand In A Glass

NEW ZEALAND WINE FAIR VANCOUVER, MAY 1 2012

PARTIES Noir Fetish Ball DJs Logik and spaz spin.

Dungeon playspace; strict fetish dress code. 50/50 draw to benefit PACE. Sat, April 21. The Cobalt, 917 Main St. $9 before 10pm, $12 after. noirvancouver.com

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Vancouver New Zealand Wine Fair May 1 2012 7:00-9:30pm The Roundhouse Community Centre 181 Roundhouse Mews

Classic house and indie with DJs G-Luve, Jay Douglas, Maxwell Maxwell, Coleo, T, Mumbles and David Love Jones.

Thurs, April 26. Shine Nightclub, 364 Water St. $5.

BlowPony & Roboteria Portland’s BlowPony dance and performance, starring Peaches Christ, Double Duchess and dancers in the main hall. DJs Taffi Louis, Manos and Waxwork spin in the Hideaway Room. Fri, April 27, 10pm–2am. Waldorf, 1489 E Hastings St. $12 door.

Admission: $60 To purchase tickets visit: nzwine.com/events

Back Door Tea Dance Join DJ Taffi Louis for audio delights catering to the wellhungover. Sun, April 29. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. 1181.ca

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The bears gather for spring, with DJs Steve Sherwood, Brian Maier, Quest and Adam Dreaddy. Sat, May 5, 9pm. Five Sixty, 560 Seymour St. $12.

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ART, PERFORMANCE & FESTIVALS Queerly Canadian Featuring Kate Reid, Auto Jansz and Andrea June. Sun, April 22, 5pm doors. The Railway Club, 579 Dunsmuir St. $10. girlgigproductions.com

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Email davidcjones@shaw.ca for location and to book time.

The Boys in the Band The groundbreaking 1968 play runs Fri, April 20–Sun, May 6. PAL Theatre, 581 Cardero St. $25 advance at brownpapertickets.com/ event/217822.

Lit! Queer Writers Drinking Queer writers read their best fiction, nonfiction and poetry.

Hosted by micro-publisher Lunatic Ink. Fri, April 20, 8pm.

Rhizome Café, 317 E Broadway. $5–10, sliding scale.

Takes Two Not So Strictly Ballroom’s spring dance party. Regulars: bring a newbie for free. Sat, April 21, 8–11:30pm. Let’s Dance Studio, 927 Granville St. Tickets $10–15 at Little Sister’s, 1238 Davie St. Classes until May 8. Info at notsostrictlyballroom.ca › continued on page 20

more at xtra.ca

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

19

GAY SPACE

Gay nights flame out Four regular parties call it quits Steven Schelling WHILE THE CITY ENJOYED ITS FIRST real taste of spring just in time for the Easter long weekend, winter’s chill set in over Vancouver’s independent gay party scene.

On April 6, the Dogwood Monarchist Society (DMS) learned that its weekly Wednesday Dollhouse drag revue at Celebrities had been pulled in favour of a dubstep night. That same day, organizers of the Sunday Apocalypstick party at The Cobalt announced the end of their run, with six more shows culminating in a final blowout over the May long weekend.

Then, like dominos, two more events shut down. The Junction cut off the Tuesday Rhinestone Stiletto drag show, and a tweet from the organizers of the monthly sex-positive Spit party unceremoniously declared their March 31 dance to have been their last.

It was a lot to take in, and the sheer volume of gay closures was concerning to many. For once, however, the twin demons of declining attendance and bureaucratic red tape that has plagued past gay spaces and parties wasn’t necessarily to blame. The cause of the flameouts seemed to stem from the organizers themselves. They were burnt out.

Rhinestone Stiletto’s organizers didn’t respond to calls by press time, but DMS Empress XLI Coco says the demands of a weekly schedule made it hard to produce consistent, high-calibre performances. She’s optimistic about a new agreement reached with Celebrities to retool Dollhouse into a monthly Thursday event.

“It’s simply that it takes a lot of effort to do a show on a weekly basis,” echoes Apocalypstick co-founder Dave Deveau.

“The Cobalt is 100-percent supportive of what we do, so it had nothing to do with them. Folding the show was a decision we made.”

Deveau, who launched Apocalypstick as an adjunct to the popular (now defunct) monthly Queer Bash parties with his fiancé, Cameron Mackenzie, and Sad Mag creative director Brandon Gaukel, says three-and-a-half years of organizing and promoting events took a toll on the trio’s personal lives. After Gaukel moved to Toronto last fall, the workload increased dramatically for Deveau and Mackenzie, to the point where they simply couldn’t continue at the same pace.

“I have six grant applications on my desk,” says Deveau, who, along with Mackenzie also runs the local Zee Zee Theatre company. “We need to refocus and move on to the next phase of our lives. I’m proud of what we accom-

“It’s like on an airplane when they tell you to put on your breathing mask before helping the person next to you . . . Mama needs to put her mask on,” says Dave Deveau, co-organizer of the soon-to-end Apocalypstick. CHRIS HOWEY

plished. That said, a lot of people are sad or angry that we pulled the plug, but it’s like on an airplane when they tell you to put on your breathing mask before helping the person next to you . . . Mama needs to put her mask on.”

Quinn Peters and Michael Kushnir, founders of Spit, mirror Deveau’s sentiments. “For two-and-a-half years, we put a lot of our own energy into creating not just a monthly party, but a community event,” Peters says. “We also tried

to make it accessible, with reasonable ticket prices.”

Unlike Dollhouse and Apocalypstick, which benefited from Celebrities’ and The Cobalt’s liquor licences and bars, the Spit parties, most of which took place at the ANZA Club, had to be completely stocked for each event. “We would bring our own bar, manage the volunteers and staff and theme as well as book the performers and promote the party,” Peters says.

A recent capacity violation at a different ANZA party made the pair reevaluate their own position.

As it stands, The Cobalt’s monthly Hustla homo-hip-hop party will continue on the second Saturday of the month, and Deveau promises a full slate of Pride Week events at The Cobalt. For their part, Peters and Kushnir are working on another Iron Bar party at Open Studios and a last-gasp Spit at ANZA Club, also during Pride. But after that, the boys are pulling out (unless Peters’ preliminary talks with The Cobalt to fill Apocalypstick’s Sunday-night slot pan out). “[Putting on parties] is a young person’s game,” Peters says. “When I was younger I would go to these great gay parties on the East Side, like Bent and Odd Ball, and when they closed, that’s what pushed me into creating Spit.

There are a lot of young people with the drive and talent to put on a community event. It’s their time.”

Deveau agrees. He was also inspired by the demise of Bent and Odd Ball to launch his parties. “In a sense, it’s almost exciting,” Deveau says. “Maybe, like it did with us, the shutting down of Apocalypstick and Spit will create an immediacy and an urgency for the next wave to create their own East Side parties.”

As Deveau recently posted on Facebook: “Who’s picking up that gayass torch?”

The all new

xtra.ca The definitive news source for gay and lesbian Canadians

VANCOUVER ’S GAY & LESBIAN NEWS

ULTIMATE

JULY 15–AUG 13, 2011

GUIDE EVENTS 11–67

Daily happenings across the city

THE MAP 36–37 Parade routes & homo hangouts

HIGHLIGHTS

Featured events & tips for Pride

Pride is closer than you think.

Book your Pride Guide Ad For Maximum Exposure Booking Deadline: Wed June 20 Artwork Deadline: Wed, June 27 Release Date: Thu, July 26

Your next hookup is closer than you think.

20

Vancouver’s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

JAMES AND JAMES/Toby Salvietto

PRESENTS

AROUND THE WORLD

listings › › continued from page 18

The Way We Were: The Music of Streisand Featuring lesbian artist NiQ Deanne and pianist Yanik Giroux. Sun, April 29, 2–4pm. ArtSpring, 100 Jackson Ave, Salt Spring Island. $32, $28 students and seniors. Tickets available at 250-537-2102 or artspring.ca.

AccolAIDS 2012 The biannual awards gala honours heroes in the BC HIV/AIDS movement. Sun, April 29, 6–10pm.

Vancouver Convention Centre, Summit Room (West Pier), 1055 Canada Place. $150 per person; tables of eight, $1,000. Tickets available at positivelivingbc.org/ accolaids or 604-915-9256.

Ivan Coyote book launch/show “Pam has the audience in the palm of her wellmanicured hand“ –Time Out NY

JUNE 14TH - MONTREAL, 8PM Le National www.admission.com, TH

JUNE 16

(514) 845-2014

- VANCOUVER, 8PM

Vancouver Playhouse www.ticketmaster.ca, ST

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- TORONTO, 8PM

Panasonic Theater www.ticketking.com, facebook.com/pamannairhostess

Join Xtra’s recently retired, longest-running columnist as she launches her new book, One In Every Crowd, and hosts a youth talent show in its honour. Thurs, May 3, doors 7pm/show 7:30pm. WISE Hall, 1882 Adanac St. $5 for adults aged 19 and older, free for youth.

(416) 872-1212

www.pamann.com

Screwdriver: Dirty Words for Filthy Queers Mavis the Librarian (Sharon Bayly) hosts an evening of readings and performances. Lineup includes Man Chyna, Felice Shays, Ivan

For more listings, go to xtra.ca Coyote, Leadfoot, Amber Dawn, Cris Derksen, Elaine Miller and Kona. Fri, May 4, 8pm. The WISE Hall, 1882 Adanac St. $10–20, sliding scale.

Queens Indulge your campy and champagne tastes with the Vancouver Men’s Chorus in this treasury of classdefying song. Thurs, May 10–Sun, May 13, 8pm. Performance Works, 1218 Cartwright St, Granville Island. $30, $60 reserved patron seating.

Tickets available at Little Sister’s and vancouvermenschorus.ca.

MEETINGS & GROUPS Getting Out Qmunity Generations presents this documentary that explores the reality of queer Africans. Thurs, April 19, 7pm. Qmunity Generations, Rm 610, 1033 Davie St. For more Generations activities, go to qmunity.ca calendar.

Board Games are Sooo Gay! A queer-friendly evening of board games. Bring your favourites or use ours. Sat, April 21, 7pm. Rhizome Café, 317 E Broadway. Free.

Salsa for Queer Folk and Allies Come hang out, listen to salsa, merengue and reggaeton music; learn some moves, eat and drink.

Fri, April 27, 8pm. Rhizome Café, 317 E Broadway. $5–10, sliding scale; no one turned away for lack of funds.

more at xtra.ca

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

21

RUBBERY FUN

Awelcome invasion

CHOCOLATE MILK

want to pose for a picture (if photos steal your soul, I couldn’t care less — I don’t have one!). But mostly I was taken aback because the Rubbout: Invasion weekend was entirely without judgment, shame or insecurity. This “gay world” is a Vancouver tradition to be proud of.

Blitz & Shitz Raziel

R

The To-Do List

ROBOTERIA/BLOWPONY

UBBOUT XXI INVADED ON Easter weekend — fittingly, since Jesus nailed to the cross is the original poster boy for

Poet(aster) April is National Poetry Month, which I’ve celebrated with Daniel Zomparelli’s Davie Street Translations, re-reading my favourite Plath and writing a sonnet or two of my own. I thought I’d share one called “Sin,” about being a gay Catholic:

BDSM. The annual kink fest held events ranging from gear swaps to dance parties — and even diving expeditions off Porteau Cove for those into a different kind of watersport.

The first event I ever covered for Xtra was Rubbout’s 20th anniversary last year. I’m a year old, bitches, and walking on my own! If you’d like to buy me a birthday gift, cabernet sauvignon and dildos (big ones — you know it!) are always graciously accepted.

I remember being nervous going to Rubbout because I’m not exceptionally rubbery; my biggest fetish is vintage clothes.

But one thing I quickly learned is that our leather/rubber/fetish community is one of the warmest and most welcoming in the city. They’re not like the Eastside hipster cunts with Petrine Cross tattoos, dressed head to foot in F as in Frank, who give you a dirty look if you’re not wearing the right ’90s denim. (Oh shit, I just described myself, didn’t I?) They’re also not a bunch of creepy old

Etiquette lesson one: never tweak someone’s rubber, Raziel (centre, flanked

by Fenn on the left and Karl on the right) learned at Rubbout’s Puppy Play Party at the Junction Pub. JAMES LOEWEN

men wearing harnesses and cracking whips. Sure, there are plenty of harnesses and whips, but there’s nothing creepy about it. The fetish folk are jolly, open-minded and in it for the fun as much as the depravity.

I learned some rubber etiquette at The Junction’s Puppy Play Party.

First, never tweak someone’s rubber. I thought they said never tweak in rubber and started to run for the closest exit, but as it turns out, when they’re geared up, you can look but not touch.

The second rule is definitely the most

important. Never pull on a pup’s tail.

Ever. Why, you ask? Because it’s stuck up their asshole! Now, I’m not sure how one douches when one has four legs, so I wouldn’t risk it.

I was surprised when I asked a partier dressed in a full sci-fi outfit if he’d care to pose in a photo with me for my column.

He declined, saying, “I’d rather keep my gay and straight worlds separate, you know?” I nodded and smiled, but the truth is, I don’t get it. Maybe I’m just such a camera whore that it’s inconceivable to imagine that anyone would not

Father, if it’s a sin, I’m sure to be condemned; Because somewhere it’s written, I’m already damned.

Haunted is the wrath, If you kiss and tell; Devil’s horns red as a blood bath, And as deep as hell.

Through the blood of Christ, I was born crucified; My heart victim of a heist, I’ve already died.

I know where I am going, I have lots of friends there; I know no evil, I’m unwilling to bear.

If you write poetry, check out this local contest for unpublished poets at aspiringpoetscontest.org. The submission deadline is June 1.

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XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

ADVERTISING FEATURE

Out Town ON THE

XTRA’S GUIDE TO FOOD, NIGHTLIFE AND FUN

FOUNTAINHEAD PUB 1011 DAVIE ST, VANCOU VER 604-687-2222 WEDNESDAYS Red Truck pints; Beefeater gin highballs.

THURSDAYS Grower’s Cider; Alexander Keith’s pints.

FRIDAYS Polar Ice vodka highballs; Kokanee pints; Naughty Shots.

SATURDAYS Smirnoff Ice coolers; Granville Island pints; Naughty Shots.

SUNDAYS Caesars; OK Spring pints.

MONDAYS Labatt’s Blue pints; Jackson Triggs wines.

TUESDAYS Smirnoff Twisted coolers; Russell pints.

CELEBRITIES NIGHT CLUB 1022 DAVIE ST, VANCOUVER 604-681-6180 celebritiesnightclub.com WEDNESDAYS Bingo 8pm-10:30pm; The Dollhouse Show 11:00pm.

Ticket Price: $3 after 10pm (100% proceeds benefit the DMS Charities) Music Style: Top 40 remixes THURSDAYS Hard Candy $4.50 Highballs. A night where the boys bare it all! Indulge yourself where hot boys strip down to nothing and heat you up, while the crowd packs the dance floor with DJ Drew and DJ Mattilda Ho spinning hot and sexy Top 40 remixes.

FRIDAYS AN21- SeasonsFest 2012.

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WEDNESDAYS Lights-out party. 4pm-4am. Find out who goes hump in the dark.

Vancouver’s gay & lesbian news

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Vancouver’s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

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XPOSED

3

6

Photos by James Loewen

Rubbout 21 With Slick as its centrepiece, Vancouver’s annual celebration of all things hot and rubbery gave new meaning to the long Easter holiday, April 5–8.

1

4

7

The all new

5 Your next hookup is closer than you think.

2 1) Steven, Roger, Stephen and Frank from Steamworks. 2) RBR Trooper, Rubber Luis, Bill Houghton and Tarrin Otter. 3) Vancouver Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (left to right, back row) Alma Bitches, Gaye Shafan, Foxy G Love, Bamm Bamm; (front) Sweet Cherribum and Garey.

4) Frosti, Dustin and Shaun. 5) Shane Rooks. 6) Danny Lee. 7) Steve Sadowski and James.

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604-255-5097

CLOTHING - GENERAL

ALTERNATIVE HEALTH

Emily Carr

604-687-1535

BLINDS Budget Blinds

ACCOUNTANTS

gay-owned and gay-friendly businesses

BICYCLES Bernstein & Gold Interiors Jett Grrl Bike Studio

Mail Box Plus

25

604-683-1433

HEALTH - MEN’S Community Based Research Centre 604-568-7478 Integrative Healing Arts 604-738-1012

HEALTH & PERSONAL CARE Carruthers Dermatology Centre Inc 604-714-0222 Vancouver Lipo Laser 604-904-0888 Yaletown Laser 604-70-SMILE

HEALTHCARE SERVICES Orchard Recovery Vancouver Coastal Health

604-947-0420 604-736-2033

DENTAL SERVICES

HEALTH FOODS & NUTRITION

Aarm Dental Group 604-647-0006 Dr Dean Wershler Inc 604-688-4080 Dr Langston Raymond 604-687-1008 Dr Sam Daher 604-662-3290 Redtree Dental 604-873-3337 Yaletown Laser 604-70-SMILE

Isagenix® LGBT Vancouver 604-340-9837/ 778-855-9957 mygoodness! gluten free 604-876-8878

HOLISTIC HEALTH Integrative Healing Arts Sequoia Thom MA

HOME THEATRE INSTALLATIONS Wallmount Tronics

778-960-4447

604-278-8456 604-736-5956 604-685-5625

KITCHENS Coast Wholesale Appliances coastappliances.com Klondike Contracting Corporation 604-708-3337 Red Door Discount Warehouse 604-569-3232 Ripples Kitchen & Bath 604-879-6999

LAUNDRY SERVICES Laundry Valet

604-568-2020

LAWYERS Bell Alliance 604-873-8723 Dahl & Connors 604-687-8752 Ganapathi & Company 604-689-9222 Harrop, Phillips, Powell & Gray 604-688-8211 Holness Law Group 604-633-4878 Island IP Law 778-886-8626 Law Office of barbara findlay 604-251-4356 Rob Hughes 604-683-4176

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MASSAGE CERTIFIED/REGISTERED Brian Mount RMT 604-254-4272 Burrard Health Centre Massage Therapy 604-816-0210 Coastal Winds Massage Therapy 604-568-2480 Linda Duncan RMT 604-630-0101 Relaxation Massage Vancouver 604-789-0857 Rick Girardeau RMT 604-345-0248 Sharon Jackson RMT 778-320-5561

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MEN’S SERVICES BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (BCSMSSA) 604-682-6482 Men’s Bereavement & Support Group 604-684-5307 xt 112

MORTGAGE Chris Cornborough

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MOTORCYCLES & SCOOTERS East Side Re-Rides

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NATUROPATHY 604-738-1012 778-786-3677

Dr Anita Komonski

ORGANIC FOOD & MARKETS Vancouver Farmer’s Market

604-879-3276

PAINTING Pro Works Painting TLS Painting

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PET CARE

JEWELLERY Benée Rubin Jewellery Design Gurvin Jewellers Saatchi & Saatchi Fine Jewellery

OPTICAL SERVICES bruce eyewear 604-662-8300 English Bay Eyeworx 604-685-7001

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City-Dog.ca Pet Services 604-608-6959 Kitty Kare 604-813-4239 Latisha’s Pet Care 778-385-7313 The Vancouver Pet Expo 1-800-626-1538

PET STORES Bow Wow Haus Korna Natural Pet Supplies Ltd Pet Habitat Tisol Yaletown Bosley’s Pet Food Plus

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SEX Priape 604-630-2330 The TABOO Naughty but Nice Show 1-800-626-1538

SHOPPING Denman Place Mall

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PRINTING east van graphics Mail Box Plus

Adesso Bistro 604-568-9975 Ciao Bella 604-688-5771 Domino’s Pizza dominos.ca Gallery Café & Catering 604-688-2233 Joe’s Grill joesgrill.ca Lift Bar Grill View 604-689-5438 Out To Lunch Catering 604-681-7177 The Park & Bayside Lounge 604-682-1831 Vancouver Alpen Club 604-874-3811

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RESTAURANTS & CAFÉS

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PHYSIOTHERAPY & REHAB Andrea Martens Eric Hoppe

Mr Build 604-732-8453 Klondike Contracting Corporation 604-708-3337 maison d’etre design-build inc 604-484-4030

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PHOTOGRAPHERS Feeling Photography sweet earth photographics The Shooting Gallery Vancouver Photo Walks

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The Vancouver Snow Show 1-800-626-1538 University Golf Club 604-224-7799 The Cutting Edges Gay Men’s Hockey Club cuttingedges.com

PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS

STORAGE

Baker Street Agency

Freeway Mini-Storage/U-Haul 604-251-2017

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PSYCHICS

STUDIO SPACE

Opal Professional Intuitive

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PSYCOTHERAPY Dragonstone Counselling 604-738-7557

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THEATRE ActorWorks Vancouver Bard on the Beach

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REAL ESTATE AGENTS

TICKET SALES

Adriaan Schipper 604-818-8265 Amalia Liapis 604-618-7000 Annette Thomas 604-805-5572 Becci Dewinetz 604-230-1044 Charlotte Mauricio 604-312-2644 Chris Wendland 778-232-8319 Connie Buna 778-689-7653 David Gering 778-822-0775 David Tung 604-266-1364 Fuller Service Realty 604-724-7964 Ian Eggleton 604-773-1443 Ian Holt 604-506-4264 Ken Chalmers 604-803-4966 Kim Monk 604-740-6615 Klaus Rode 604-760-5856 Linda Shaw 604-787-2062 Lyn Hart 604-724-4278 Phil Warren 604-684-6155 Steve Jamieson 604-307-9167 Susan Cameron 604-720-1214 Tim Hiltz 604-789-1133 Tyler Barrs 604-602-1111 Wayne Blackburn 604-209-4775 West Side Real Estate / Coldwell Banker Premier Realty 604-817-4856

ShowTimeTickets.com 604-688-5000/1-800-480-7469

RELIGIOUS GROUPS & SERVICES Christ Alive Community Church 604-739-7959 Renaissance Christian Church 604-636-4276 St Andrew’s Wesley United Church 604-683-4574 Trinity United Church 604-732-3075

TRANSPORTATION Helijet International 1-800-665-4354

TRAVEL AGENCIES GayTrip.ca

gaytrip.ca

TRAVEL BRITISH COLUMBIA Black Rock Oceanfront Resort 877-762-5011 Harbour Air Seaplanes 604-274-1277

VETERINARIANS Urban Animal Hospital

604-684-2632

WEBSITES Guidemag.com Squirt.org Xtra.ca

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WEDDINGS Umbrella Events

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YOGA SpiRe Wellness 604-569-0963 YoGuy Men’s Yoga 778-995-1970 Skyclad Naked Yoga & Massage 250-813-2939

26

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

Vancouverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay & lesbian news

ADVERTISING FEATURE

Real Estate

Xtraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guide to the lucrative gay & lesbian housing market.

TO ADVERTISE CALL 604-684-9696

ADRIAAN SCHIPPER

Ask a

REALTOR

Question: Should you always negotiate the price of a home youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested in?

An s we r : W h i l e eve r y transaction is different, s o m e b u ye r s m ay b e surprised to learn that there will be times when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appropriate to go in at the asking price.

This is where the expertise of your realtor really proves its worth. One of your agentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; most important duties is to provide you with the appropriate research to help you make sound decisions. They can tell you when a home is well priced, and whether or not there are comparable alternatives on the market.

your neighbourhood realtor

www.AdriaanSchipper.com Direct: 604.818.8265 email: schipper@telus.net

Real Estate

RE/MAX CREST REALTY(westside) Independently Owned and Operated 3215 MacDonald St. Vancouver BC V6L 2N2 Office: 604.732.1336

PROFILE

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! C N S ! ? H N L ?

Michael Chiu

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Finding Your Dreams A Home!â&#x20AC;?

They can also tell you if there are likely to be other offers competing with your own.

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found a great property that meets all your criteria, the asking price is attractive, and there arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t any other comparable homes available, you may be well served to go in at the asking price. Buyers should take into consideration that negotiating the price extends the timeline when the home is still open to offers and during this time, other buyers may enter the process. Sometimes the best course of action is to go in at the asking price and bring negotiations to a quick conclusion.

But what happens if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested in a home but think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s overpriced?

If everything else is right about the house, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just walk away...negotiate!

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by making an offer.

Be sure that you have your facts straight before assuming a property is overpriced. Before you decide on what price to offer, your realtor can show you recent sales and also active listings of comparable properties, as well as advise you about neighbourhood trends. All this will help you to estimate what price range the home will likely sell for in the current market.

Cell: 604-992-2052 www.michaelchiu.net

Recently Sold # 805 1003 Pacific St, Vancouver, BC LISTED: $688,800 SOLD: $688,800 The Seastar, built by Concert Properties, solid and trouble free concrete building, in Westend location. The totally professionally renovated suite faces west towards English Bay, quiet side of the building. Two bedrooms and two full baths, open top of the line kitchen, new appliances thru out. Large Den can be used for office or dining room. Gas Fireplace will heat the entire condo. Just move in, nothing to do!

Includes a parking stall, pet friendly building, walking distance to beaches, shopping and recreation, (swimming pool) and a guest bedroom.

7 YEARS IN A ROW!

Susan Cameron Bringing you home

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$330,000 #21-7488 SOUTHWYNDE AV

732 SQFT 2 BEDROOM + PATIO

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$738,000 Susan Cameron 604-720-1214 susancameronrealtor.com

Coldwell Banker Premier Realty

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ď&#x2122;&#x2030;ď&#x2122;&#x192;ď&#x2122;&#x2021;.ď&#x2122;&#x160;ď&#x2122;&#x2026;ď&#x2122;&#x192;.ď&#x2122;&#x201E;ď&#x2122;&#x2026;ď&#x2122;&#x201E;ď&#x2122;&#x2021; susancameronrealtor.com

P R E M I E R

R E A L T Y

more at xtra.ca

ADVERTISING FEATURE

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

27

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Helpful Hints Not Being Faithful to your Realtor?

Choosing the right real estate agent to guide you through the entire house buying process is essential to your success. A big mistake many homebuyers make is skipping from agent to agent to ďŹ nd their dream home.

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t! Instead, make it your intention to ďŹ nd an agent you are going to stick with.

This spacious ďŹ&#x201A;oor plan with overheight ceilings at the Palladio offers great water and mountain views from the living and dining rooms. The large open kitchen with heated ďŹ&#x201A;ooring, gas stove and plenty of counter space will delight the hobby chef. The spacious den can be used as a home ofďŹ ce or guest room. The location is second to none, with the seawall just steps away and shopping and restaurants within minutes from the front door. Rentals and 1 pet allowed. 1 parking & 1 storage locker included.

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Concordia I is located in a prime Yaletown location, just across the street from David Lam Park, shopping, restaurants and steps from the seawall. The building has a small gym, indoor pool, hot-tub and library. The suite itself was used as a furnished rental and is in move-in condition.

1 parking included. Pets and rentals OK. photo from here:

Re/Max Real Estate Services Phone: 604.506.4264 s Fax: 604.669.7233 Toll Free: 1.888.507.3226 s ian@ianholt.com

(SILYUP :[ =HUJV\]LY

West Coast Realty

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Lionsâ&#x20AC;? is a favorite for ďŹ rst time home owners or investors. The location is second to none, steps from Coal Harbour, Robson Street, and Stanley Park. The building offers ďŹ rst class amenities, including a full gym, media room, meeting rooms, guest suites, and a common party room with pool tables, stage, and televisions.

This studio suite has a functional layout, and has insuite laundry and storage/ďŹ&#x201A;ex space. Rentals and 1 pet allowed. 1 parking and 1 storage locker included.

Finding the perfect home

Timothy James Moreau

604-831-9130

timothym@sutton.com www.timothyjamesmoreau.ca

Top 1% of Royal LePage Canada and #1 in the office join our newsletter at mikeandwill.com for lots of helpful tips and market updates.

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Bruce Ward Realty Ltd. 400 - 1525 Robson Street Vancouver, BC V6G 1C3

Should you wait for the market to improve?

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re planning on selling your current property and buying another, you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really have to pay attention to what the market is doing. If you sell your current home for a â&#x20AC;&#x153;lowâ&#x20AC;? price, you will probably also buy at a low price. If you are upgrading to a larger home, this actually works in your favor!

E

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April 22st

DA

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M

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CL U B

M LS M

Word of mouth! Tell everyone you know, and their dog, that you are looking for a new house; you might hear about homes that are just becoming available on the market.

E M B ER

DIAMOND AWARD

Mike Wilcox 604 782 3545 Will Pratt 778 772 4252 3 bdrms, 3 baths, 3 lvls Over 2500 SF - 6400 SF lot Gorgeous kitch- granite & S/S Large L/Rm & D/Rm - pool & H/T

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or email realestate.vancouver@xtra.ca

Your Question Could Appear Here!

28

Vancouverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

ClassiďŹ eds ANNOUNCEMENTS â&#x20AC;ş

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES â&#x20AC;ş

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The Stuffington Post Graeme Gerrard

W

HEN I’M NOT WRITING THIS gay porn review, I manage a little restaurant in the country.

Weird, right? The other day a man came in and asked to sit in the smoking section. I was taken aback. I’ve never even worked in a place that allowed smoking. It’s such an old custom, I wondered if he was joking. He had a French accent, so I guess he wasn’t.

That’s sort of how I feel about condoms in porn.

It’s hard to believe that there was a time, during the height of the AIDS epidemic, in an era of misunderstanding, when most major porn companies were neither promoting safe sex to their audiences nor protecting their employees from the occupational hazard of a then-fatal disease.

Chi Chi LaRue was vocal about the matter in the late 1980s, at the beginning of her career as a director. “I thought it was very irresponsible that they were only using Nonoxynol-9 and they weren’t using condoms,” she told me via email. “To this day, I feel proudly responsible that the gay industry started using condoms on a regular basis.”

Her firm stance on condoms, her work ethic and her style earned LaRue accolades

Get More Calls Make More Money Advertise in Xtra!

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its policy on condom use. “When they became condom-optional and I wasn’t given any option, I had to quit,” LaRue says.

“I’m very happy with my decision and am actually still very close to the people at Vivid.”

LaRue’s stock continued to rise.

In 2010, reality TV star Steven Daigle decided to jump into the world of adult entertainment, reaching out first to LaRue. “Lucky for me, Steven Daigle approached me with the idea. I actually tried to talk him out of it,” LaRue says. “He wouldn’t hear of it, so I put together a threepicture deal.”

LaRue’s consistency on the unpopular issue of condom use is impres“I thought it was very irresponsible that they were only sive and has clearly earned using Nonoxynol-9 and they weren’t using condoms,” says her a great deal of respect, Chi Chi LaRue. both from inside the inand fans. Through the 1990s and 2000s she dustry and from those who enjoy her work. directed hundreds of titles, co-founded Chan- Just as Canadians have learned to enjoy nel 1 Releasing and branched into directing their after-meal cigarettes outdoors, porn enthusiasts have come to terms with mainstraight porn.

In 2006 the issue of sexual safety in porn stream porn’s preference for condoms, in came up again when Vivid Video changed large part thanks to LaRue’s resolve.

Advertising Deadines for the May 3 issue of Xtra: Display and Display Classifieds deadline is Wed, April 25 at 4pm.

Line Classifieds deadline is Mon, April 30 at 1pm.

Call 604-684-9696 for advertising rates and booking information

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Vancouverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay & lesbian news

XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

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XTRA! APRIL 19, 2012

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