Tuesday, February 13, 2024 | Binghamton University | bupipedream.com
SEX ISSUE 2024
The Free Word on Campus Since 1946
Welcome to Pipe Dream’s annual Sex Issue! This year, we feature a diverse range of content from serious conversations about discrimination and historical abuses of sexuality to fun analyses and lists of Valentine’s related content. In this issue, you can find Q and A’s with professors and campus organizations, as well as features on resources available in the Binghamton area. Some more fun articles feature rankings of lovefocused tv shows and movies and a ranking of chocolate. Editor’s note: This issue includes some content related to sexual assault and harassment that may be triggering for some readers.
Arts & Culture
ARTS & CULTURE · 3
A Q&A with BAAC’s president Abbey Scherer JAIDEN DEL ROSARIO — Arts & Culture Intern This coming May will mark two years since the president of the Binghamton University Abortion Advocacy Coalition (BAAC), Abbey Scherer, a senior majoring in social work, founded the organization. Scherer and most of BAAC’s E-Board are graduating this semester with hopes that future members will continue to build where they left off. Pipe Dream interviewed Scherer to discuss BAAC’s current goals and operations. The interview has been edited for both length and clarity. Q: What are the BAAC’s main goals and what are some ways that you work toward this goal? A: Our goal when we first started was destigmatizing and opening up the conversation about abortion access and abortion in general on campus. Of course we have PPGen [Planned Parenthood Generation] and FemCo [Feminist Collective] which are amazing organizations, but they cover a wide range of things and I decided that we should have something that focuses on abortion. We now have a relationship with Southern Tier Women’s Health Services, which is the abortion clinic in the area, and BU administration to blend the communities as much as possible. This looks like giving the clinic abortion [after care] kits (which we have ourselves) and we, along with PPGen and FemCo worked with [Decker Student Health Services Center] administration to set up an uber business account so they can pay for students’ transportation if they get referred. … We talk about abortion through the lens of reproductive jus-
tice, which includes applying the theory of intersectionality to our work. For example, BAAC is collaborating with the Q Center to talk about abortion as gender-affirming care, we encourage support for Palestine by advertising and showing up for rallies and marches, we teach Reproductive Justice as Black history in our RJ 101 Training and talk about climate justice at the Earth Day festival. Q: How has the overturning of Roe v. Wade specifically affected reproductive rights throughout the country? A: Roe being overturned was not a shock but did a lot of damage in terms of legality — really people say Roe was the floor, not the ceiling. Though access goes so much further in terms of transportation expenses, people being afraid of protestors, insurance coverage and wait times. There are states now where you can’t get an abortion at all. It’s worse than before but those same problems were always there, just not for everybody. Communities of color and low-income communities always had access issues. Now there are cases where the Supreme Court is looking to ban Mifepristone — one of the pills used for medication abortion. Even in New York state, where we’re generally protected in terms of reproductive health, a federal decision would impact us as well. But I think by educating people about these things through advocacy and policy work, all things that BAAC encourages, are really important for preventing these things in the future. Q: Can you discuss various statewide abortion bans and their
impacts on people with uteruses? A: There [are] a wide range of bans. Some states have full bans where you can’t get an abortion at all and some states have sixweek bans where most people don’t even know that they’re pregnant by six weeks. Even states where they ban abortions past the second trimester, like later term bans — those really confuse practitioners and in states where you see that, even when you have an exception for the life of the mother, doctors are so afraid that they might lose their license and not practice anymore that they will wait until someone is about to die before they give them an abortion. Bans like that create a lot of gray areas that keep people from getting life saving procedures that they need. That’s really the problem with these bans. Q: What would you say to someone who is against abortion rights? A: It really depends on their reasoning for it, because some people feel that way from a religious perspective. For other people it’s not religious, it’s just they have been told a lot of lies that they think are facts. I would approach the conversation by asking, “Why do you feel that way?” We actually did a meeting where we talked about how to talk to antis [people who are anti-abortion] and we made a spreadsheet of their reasons and what you can respond with. But it just comes down to bodily autonomy. People should be able to make their own choices about their body and I’m sure people who are against abortion wouldn’t want other people making decisions about their body when it comes to other areas. If they can understand that concept then you can work from there. Q: What are some ways that students at BU can become involved in the BAAC? A: Our E-Board right now has a lot of seniors and there’s going to be a lot of gaps to fill on the [E-Board], so we’re looking for younger people but we also have other opportunities for people to get involved. Southern Tier Women’s Health Services is currently looking for clinic escorts — students who will help protect patients from protestors and make sure that they get to their appointments. You can bring your information to us, and we can set you up with them. We’ve also done volunteer days for Family Planning, which is downtown. They don’t do abortions, but they do abortion referrals and options counseling. We also do a monthly newsletter where we encourage students to write in, and we’ll feature their writing pieces in our newsletter.
provided by abbey scherer Abbey Scherer, who founded Binghamton University Abortion Advocacy Coalition, discussed the club’s mission and goals surrounding abortion rights.
Q: What are your hopes for the future of BAAC? A: I really hope that younger students can help us continue our work and expand. We just submitted our chartering application and that would really help us maintain a presence in our community. I’m hoping to expand outside of campus as well, and I would love to see it become more of a Binghamton community organization than just a BU organization.
ARTS & CULTURE · 4
Sex representation and controversey in media AUTUMN JACOBS — Arts & Culture Contributor Once widely understood in the world of film marketing, the phrase “sex sells” seems to no longer be a guarantee. A recent study by the UCLA Center for Scholars and Storytellers found that 47.5 percent of adolescents surveyed said that “sex isn’t needed for the plot of most TV shows and movies.” Amid wider discourse about the presence of sex on screen, many have attempted to understand why Generation Z has begun to cause cultural shifts regarding the acceptance of sex on screen and the impacts of increased negative attitudes regarding the presence of sex in films. First, this is not the only area in which Gen Z seems to be trending toward what seems to be ambivalence or negativity toward sex. A recent study found that the number of people who had recent casual sex declined between 2007 and 2017, with men going from 38 to 24 percent and women from 31 to 22 percent. With 29.6 percent of adolescents reporting that they look for relatability and circumstances that mirror their own in the films and TV that they watch, perhaps the increasing irrelevance of sex has spurred Gen Z to reject it from the content we watch. It is not just that the audiences have changed, though. In
the wake of the streaming revolution and COVID-19, which upended film releases, studios are often seen as increasingly wary of projects that do not have universal appeal and cannot play to all audiences, limiting the appearance of sex and sexual desire in films in constant quest for PG-13 ratings. Franchises like the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), which last July has grossed a total of $29.55 billion across its projects, are increasingly massive parts of the cinema landscape, with massive budgets to boot. In the words of Sunny Teich and Raqi Syed for Salon, “astronomical budgets ensure that these kinds of films must target the largest possible global audience and shy away from controversy.” With Marvel movies and other franchise films being “your primary choice if you want to see something on the big screen” according to Martin Scorsese, you’re increasingly unlikely to find films that are explicit about sex and sexual desire on the big screen. With increasing ambivalence from studios toward projects that do not have existing intellectual property to rely on to guarantee major profits, a victim of the MCU and other franchises has been the theatrically released mid-budget, implicitly adult, film. Defined as films that “don’t have the extravagance of larg-
jacob gressin assistant photo editor Sex, as depicted in media, has seemed to culturally shift from portraying love and desire to now amusement, curiosity and shock.
er-budget movies or the quirky minimalism of independents,” mid-budget films were once box office staples and incredibly influential, with thrillers like “Silence of the Lambs” (1991), dramas like “Whiplash” (2014) and comedies like “Neighbors” (2014) all generating massive returns on their relatively low budgets as compared to today’s top films. Not all showcased explicit sex, but they were nonetheless adult — the kind of films that your parents would watch once you fell asleep. Films that were deeply invested in sex and its dynamic, erotic thrillers such as “Basic Instinct” and “Fatal Attraction,” still had major box office success. While similar films now often appear on streaming services and are less likely to appear solely in theaters, the act of visiting a cinema to watch a film is decidedly different than picking what’s on your Netflix home screen. The longevity of the mid-budget adult film has also shifted, from maintaining their presence in theaters for several weeks to falling into the content abyss of the home screen of streaming services. It is not only that the avenues for sex to be represented have narrowed with the loss of mid-budget adult film, but the propagation of incredibly sex-negative and censorship-heavy social media platforms that have made anything that openly features sex or sexually suggestive material seem to be out of the norm. Social media platforms are quick to take down sexually suggestive content, with comments like “wanna have sex [followed by an eggplant, water and peach emoji]” and sexual imagery making your Instagram liable for suspension. With fewer avenues to engage in sexually suggestive material, it seems all the more shocking when sex does appear on screen. This potentially repels people from depictions of sex due to their plain irregularity, preventing audiences from seeing how they change the ways that we interact with cinema and how they impact their respective film plots. But despite warning signs that we could be in the final days for sex in cinema, multiple sexually explicit recent releases such as “Saltburn” tell us differently. The release of films like “Poor Things,” “How to Have Sex” and “May December” led one film expert to claim that this could be the “sexiest awards season in years.” These films all explicitly show and deal with sex, showing the ways in which sex may appear on screen in a shifting cinema landscape. Sex has been reframed “for a contemporary sensibility. It is now often there to shock, amuse or confuse, rather than to titillate or denote romantic love.” Films that deal with the messiness of sexual desire and its intrigue like “Saltburn” have become cultural phenomenons, inspiring as much fan fiction as horrified reaction videos. The changes that have occurred in the representation of sex on screen are a testament to their survival. Art has never been stagnant and has always changed in response to developments in society and culture. So just as the creation of cinema changed how the arts represent humanity, cinematic representations of sex will no doubt continue to shift in response to the sensibilities of a post-#MeToo, post-Roe and post-streaming world.
ARTS & CULTURE · 5
Q Center supports LGBTQ+ community at BU VICTORIA STARGIOTTI— Arts & Culture Contributor The Q Center was founded in 2015 by a group of students and faculty members alike who were interested in creating a space for resources and support for LGBTQ+ students at Binghamton University. It was formed as part of the Division of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI), whose mission is to cultivate inclusion and equity throughout BU’s campus. The Q Center has been located in room LS-G549 on the lower level of Glenn G. Bartle Library since 2016. Nick Martin, the associate director of the Q Center, stated in an email that the Q Center works toward “the collective liberation of queer-identifying people.” “We cultivate an intersectional space where all queer students, faculty and staff at Binghamton University are empowered to be their whole, authentic selves,” Martin wrote. The Q Center takes a realistic and supportive stance on the subject of college relationships, promoting discussions of diverse types of relationships on campus to de-stigmatize conversations about safe sex, particularly those about queer relationships. Those involved in the organization take creative strides to teach students how to traverse the often confusing field of college hookup culture and first relationships. Over the past eight years, the Q Center has promoted respectful conversation about the LGBTQ+ community and formed a foundation of support for underrepresented students on campus. Martin discussed the Q Center’s initiatives toward expanding support for LGBTQ+ people at BU. “The Q Center team has worked tirelessly to increase LGBTQ+ visibility on campus through events, educational workshops, our Gender Bender Clothing Closet and meaningful collaborations with campus partners and LGBTQ+ student organizations,” Martin wrote. “We have allocated significant resources through new initiatives, new paid positions and expanding our phenomenal team of undergraduate and graduate student interns to highlight intersectional identities through monthly Queer and Trans Black, Indigenous and People of Color (QTBIPOC) hangout events and weekly low sensory hours meant to welcome in our neurodiverse students.” The newly founded Sex Wall is just one of many additions and thoughtful approaches to students that the organization takes as they work toward their mission of supporting, educating and empowering students and faculty in the LGBTQ+ community. This wall is about creating a fun and welcoming environment for students to enter the Q Center and learn about safe sex practices and resources. It also acts as a provider for the LGBTQ+ community on campus as a spot for locating all one could need to practice safe sex. The Sex Wall consists of a neon sign and “numerous
shelves of internal and external condoms, a variety of lubricants, condom holders and information about [preexposure prophylaxis] from [Southern Tier AIDS Program] and [United Health Services],” according to Martin. This new part of the Q Center works along with their longstanding history of providing referrals for mental and sexual health resources, gender-affirming care and safe sex and menstrual products. In partnership with B-Healthy, these initiatives help promote comfort and security for students engaging in sexual activity. The purpose of the Sex Wall is to ensure that students know they have resources and support to live their most fulfill-
ing lives. Martin expressed the Q Center’s dedication to positive sexual health and awareness on campus. “The Q Center is proud to promote safer sex supplies and sex-positive education, and we hope this service will help to de-stigmatize conversations around sexual health as it relates to queer people,” Martin wrote. “Our Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression (SOGIE) Educators are now offering workshops on how to navigate Grindr, safe hookup practices, and kink in collaboration with some of our LGBTQ+ student organizations.”
The Q Center offers support and resources for Binghamton’s LGBTQ+ community.
blake derossi contributing photographer
ARTS & CULTURE ·6
A complete guide to dating in Binghamton ELI ENGLER — Arts & Culture Contributor There are a lot of things to consider when you go on a date with someone. From picking an outfit to scheduling a time you are both free, planning a date can be a challenging and stressful endeavor. However, do not fret as here is a list of 12 awesome date spots in the Binghamton area. Lovers Sushi Fittingly named, Lovers Sushi is a quiet and relaxing restaurant located on Washington Ave in Endicott, New York. They have a great lunch special from Wednesday through Saturday from 11:00 a.m. to 3 p.m. that allows sushi to fit in any college student’s budget. Lovers Sushi is the perfect combination of quality food with a romantic ambience that is sure to be an excellent date spot for any couple. Barnes & Noble Conveniently located in Town Square Mall on Vestal Parkway, Barnes & Noble is an easily accessible date spot, either by car or bus. Barnes & Noble houses its very own Starbucks, but the main attraction is the rich collection of literature available for purchase. Spend time with your date getting to know their reading habits while surrounded by the enchanting atmosphere of endless books. Tai Chi Bubble Tea Also located at Town Square Mall is Tai Chi Bubble Tea, a cute and leafy bubble tea spot that also serves food. Getting bubble tea makes for a great date because it is classy yet casual, and Tai Chi Bubble Tea also offers the option to make it a lunch or dinner date with their full menu. Furthermore, Town Square
Mall offers many options to pair with Tai Chi Bubble Tea, such as the AMC movie theater. Skylark Diner Further along Vestal Parkway is the Skylark Diner, a staple of the Southern Tier that has been around since 1956. Between its reasonable prices and classic diner aesthetic, Skylark Diner is a stellar pre-class breakfast date or even lunch or dinner date for when cravings of pancakes or burgers kick in. The Lanes The Lanes is Binghamton University’s very own bowling alley, found in the Undergrounds of the University Union. It is free for both undergraduate and graduate students to bowl, but shoe rentals cost 50 cents per person. The Lanes is a convenient and fun date spot that is sure to please bowlers of all experience levels. Olive Garden Although it may not be the paragon of Italian food, Olive Garden is an excellent date spot for those wishing to go to a sitdown restaurant without breaking the bank. From the endless breadsticks to classic Italian-American dishes like chicken parmesan, Olive Garden offers a wide menu with plenty of deals and specials to take advantage of. Cortese Restaurant A classier and more authentic Italian restaurant in the Binghamton area is Cortese Restaurant on Robinson Street in Binghamton, New York. They offer both dine-in and takeout
options for those who want a fancy Italian-American meal at home without the hassle of cooking. Cortese has an impressive menu that includes shrimp scampi, eggplant parmigiana and chicken marsala. Panera Bread The perfect combination of a fast-casual bakery and a sit down restaurant, Panera Bread is an excellent lunch or afternoon coffee date spot. They have a fleshed out breakfast, lunch and dinner menu that mainly focuses on soups, salads and sandwiches, but also has favorites like macaroni and cheese and pizza. However, the highlight of Panera Bread is the eponymous bread, as their bakery produces excellent breads, muffins, bagels and more. That Coffee Place Nestled in the heart of the West Side of Binghamton is That Coffee Place, an unassuming coffee shop that is the definition of a hidden gem date spot. Between their indoor and outdoor seating and full meals, That Coffee Place is a versatile date spot for any time of the day and any time of the year. Furthermore, their location makes it convenient for people living off-campus. The BU Art Museum Another underrated gem of the Binghamton area is the BU Art Museum, which is located in the Fine Arts building and has free admission for all. The museum is open Tuesday through Saturday from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m. and Thursdays from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m., making it the perfect place to spend an afternoon. This semester’s exhibit is called “Painted Exchanges: Artists and Paintmakers” and focuses on art from 1968 to 1976 that highlights the symbiosis between artists and paintmakers of the time. 8 Bit Bites Located in Johnson City, 8 Bit Bites is the perfect combination date for those interested in retro video games and food. 8 Bit Bites’ menu is 100 percent Halal and features fan favorite foods such as burgers, chicken tenders and milkshakes at a reasonable price.
lily tener staff photographer The Lanes in the Binghamton University Union Undergrounds make for a perfect casual first date spot.
Wegmans If there is one grocery store you might actually fall in love at, it is Wegmans. The Binghamton area Wegmans can be found in Johnson City and between its magical atmosphere and wide selection of ingredients and prepared foods, Wegmans might be the only grocery store that can serve as a romantic date spot. The beauty of the Wegmans date is that it can take many directions -— you can buy ingredients to cook something together, enjoy their hot prepared foods or even just walk around and admire the cleanest grocery store in the area.
ARTS & CULTURE · 7
Russell Stover ranked LIA RICHTER & BELLA DAIDONE— Editor-in-Chief & Managing Editor With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, purchasing chocolate boxes is on the forefront of everyone’s mind. Whether you want to find the perfect combination for a significant other, or you want to treat yourself or a friend, finding the best chocolate arrangement is important. Russell Stover is one of the biggest names in chocolate boxing, so we took it upon ourselves to analyze one of their offerings for this year. Below we have delved into each flavor, and we hope this comprehensive taste test gives you the needed information when purchasing chocolate. No. 6 Caramel Let us be blunt. This milk chocolate caramel with a dark chocolate drizzle was horrendous. For one, the ratio of caramel to chocolate was quite off-putting. There was a thick layer of chocolate on top, and yet a barely visible layer of chocolate on the bottom. However, we could not even taste this poorly structured chocolate because the caramel was so thick and chewy. The flavor of the caramel was somehow both milder than your average caramel yet overpowering enough to mask the chocolate taste. We struggled to swallow this mound of what felt like a melted starburst. When picking out chocolates this year, avoid this caramel at all costs!
No. 3 Peanut Cluster Bella can eat peanuts, and we are finally entering good chocolate territory! This candy was like if a peanut M&M had a much different chocolate-to-peanut ratio. Shaped like a fancy Reese’s, this chocolate provided a good crunch and saltiness to a previously overly sweet box of chocolate. Would we reach for this chocolate if given a plate of 100 really delicious chocolates? No. Would we reach for this chocolate if given this box of chocolate? Eventually. No. 2 Chocolate Buttercream This chocolate surprised us in a great way. Have you ever had a chocolate ice cream sundae with Oreos and chocolate fudge and chocolate sprinkles with chocolate whipped cream (and maybe a cherry)? That is what this chocolate was like. You have to like chocolate. Bella and I like chocolate. The creme was thicker than the other creams in the box, and the sweetness of the milk chocolate actually worked in this scenario because the fudgy middle was so rich. This dessert
really committed to the name “piece of chocolate,” and we were not mad about it at all. No. 1 Vanilla Creme This was our favorite by far! While we had leftover bites from every piece in this box, we finished this piece immediately. For one, it was dark chocolate! That automatically puts it close to the top. Furthermore, the vanilla creme was light and sweet, resembling a marshmallow in the best way. The bitterness of the chocolate complimented this sugary middle, creating the perfect combination. Out of 100 chocolates, we would reach for this one, and you should too. Life is like a box of chocolates — you never know what you are going to get. But if life was this box of chocolates, we can tell you you will get a mediocre six flavors. While two of the flavors were wonderfully delicious, the rest did not wow us at best, and made our jaws and hearts hurt at worst. When looking for a chocolate box this year, maybe try a different brand.
No. 5 Nut Caramel The biggest issue with this nut caramel was the fact that it could kill Bella. She has a tree nut allergy, and the chocolate descriptions failed to mention what nuts were featured in this nut caramel. That took it down a peg. However, Lia still tried the chocolate and found it way more delightful than the other caramel abomination. The biggest difference with this one was it was made with dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate — that is a fact. So, this treat had an edge. Furthermore, the caramel in this treat was lighter, making it easier to eat. Had it not been a literal lick of death for Bella, nut caramel would be higher on the list. No. 4 Strawberry Creme We love strawberries and chocolate. We did not love this chocolate. Mainly, this chocolate was not strawberry creme — it was just pink! Being pink gives an obvious advantage to any piece of dessert, so having it this low on the list should tell you something. The strawberry flavored creme was overly sweet and tasted like the frosting you would find in a can. The creme was mixed with milk chocolate, so the sweetness doubled, making the chocolate too overpowering. We could only really take one bite before our taste buds started buzzing from a sugar high. And yet, this chocolate was chewable and safe for Bella, so it ranks above the other two.
Pipe Dream’s Editor-in-Chief and Managing Editor rank a classic Valentine’s Day box of chocolates.
lia richter editor-in-chief
Have any crazy sex stories?
My boyfriends roommate tried to watch us have sex
One time, my ex checked Instagram mid-sex to see if her ex boyfriend liked her most recent post. Literally searched his username in her likes.
one time i was hooking up with a guy in my room and i kicked at my window…and it broke. i broke the window.
in the middle of it, the fire alarm went off (we continued after)
I am currently hooking up with my ex’s best friend and have no shame or regrets about it.
I lost my dildo during sex. Its gone. I genuinely have no idea where it went. I haven seen it in weeks. If youve seen a pink suction cup dildo anywhere plz call me one time i hooked up with a guy and after he played guitar and sang at me (really badly, like truly terribly) while fully naked
nah im vanilla af lol
SEX SURVEY Pipe Dream’s annual sex survey recieved
151
GENDER IDENITY
responses
SEXUALITY 56.7% — CIS WOMAN
44.7% — STRAIGHT
31.3% — CIS MAN
28.7% — BISEXUAL
7.3% — QUEER 6.7% — PANSEXUAL 2.7% - GENDERFLUID 1.3% - TRANS MAN 0.7% - TRANS MAN 0.7% - AGENDER 0.7% - GENDERQUEER 0.7% - WOLF 0.4% - QUESTIONING
NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS
4% — LESBIAN 5.3% - NONBINARY
2.7% — ASEXUAL 0.8% — QUESTIONING
WHEN DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY?
2.7% — GAY
HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE SEX?
16.7% — 0
20% — HAVE NOT
22% — NEVER
50.7% — 1-3
10.7% — 15 OR YOUNGER
24.7% — 1-10 TIMES A YEAR
13.3% — 4-7
31.3% — 16-17
21.3% — A COUPLE TIMES A MONTH
9.3% — 8-12
27.3% — 18-19
8% — ONCE A WEEK
2.7% — 13-17
8% — 20-21
18.7% — 2+ TIMES A WEEK
5.3% — 18-25
1.2% — 22+
5.3% — EVERY DAY
2% — 26+
41.9% 83.6% 50.7% 5%
OF RESPONDENTS SAID THEY HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED OF RESPONDENTS SAID THEY DID NOT SEEK HELP AFTERWARDS OF RESPONDENTS HAVE A CONSISTENT SEXUAL PARTNER OF RESPONDENTS HAVE HAD AN STD
46.6%
39.2%
DO NOT, BUT WANT ONE
OF RESPONDENTS USE DATING APPS
WHAT TYPE OF BIRTH CONTROL DO YOU USE? 76.4% — CONDOMS 40.9% — BIRTH CONTROL PILL 11.8% — IUD 0.9% — PLAN B 0.9% — NUVARING 0.9% — DENTAL DAMS 0.9% — BIRTH CONTROL IMPLANT
WHERE ON CAMPUS HAVE YOU HAD A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER 36 — DORM LOUNGE OR HALLWAY 20 — NATURE PRESERVE 8 — BARTLE 5 — AN OCCT BUS 4 — FINE ARTS 4 — UNION BASEMENT 2 — SCIENCE 2 — GREENHOUSE 2 — CLASSROOM WING 3 — GENDER NEUTRAL BATHROOM 2 — DINING HALL 1 — MARKETPLACE
KINKS 68.5% — CHOKING 61.8% — HANDCUFFS OR RESTRAINTS 44.9% — SLAPPING 32.6% — BDSM (SUB) 29.2% — ROLEPLAY 24.7% — BDSM (DOM) 10.1% — VOYEURISM 9% — FOOT FETISH OR OTHER BODY WORSHIP 5.6% — LICKING FOOD OFF A PARTNER 5.6% — CUCKOLDING 3.4% — FURRIES
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR SEX DRIVE? HOW OFTEN DO YOU MASTURBATE?
HOW FREQUENTLY DO YOU GET TESTED?
7.4% — NEVER 10.1% — 1-10 TIMES A YEAR
16.7% — ONCE
24.3% — A COUPLE TIMES A MONTH
15.2% — REGULARLY
20.3% — ONCE A WEEK
18.8% — I’VE GONE A FEW TIMES
26.4% — 2+ TIMES A WEEK
49.3% — I’VE NEVER BEEN TESTED
11.5% — EVERY DAY
RESPONSES BY NUMBER
100 80 60 40 20 0
1 2 (VERY LOW)
3
4
5 (VERY HIGH)
News
NEWS · 13
brandon ng news editor The course is run through the Middle Eastern and Ancient Mediterranean Studies department, which seeks to develop lifelong interest in the culture and thought of the Ancient Mediterranean world.
Class explores homosexual relationships in antiquity VASSILI GONZALES — News Contributor A course offered by the Middle Eastern and Ancient Mediterranean Studies (MEAMS) department allows students to explore how gender and sexuality were perceived during ancient times. The course, AMS 280S: Sex and Gender in Antiquity, is a two-semester course, referred to as a research stream, operating through the Source Project — a program that offers first-year students the chance to perform research in the humanities and social sciences. During the first semester of the course, students look into sources providing a historical perspective of gender and sexuality in ancient worlds, including North Africa and Greece. In the second semester, students work on chosen independent research projects related to areas covered in the course or from around the world. Students also have a chance to collaborate on an exhibition in the Glenn G. Bartle Library lobby. AMS 280S explores how gender and sexuality were defined and controlled, specifically in an Ancient Mediterranean context. The course investigates socially acceptable norms in gender expression, identity and sexual practices. It studies how extramarital relationships between men and subordinate women — because of the legitimacy of heirs and the belief that women were inferior to men — led to the heavy control of women’s sexual activities. The course also delves into homosexual relationships between ancient figures, such as Achilles and Patroclus and Alexander the Great and Hephaestion.
Tina Chronopoulos, the instructor and an associate professor of Middle Eastern and ancient Mediterranean studies, explained that the class originated from two previous courses she taught centering around the Ancient Mediterranean region. This followed students’ interests in stories of sexual relationships and portrayals of femininity and masculinity, along with depictions of LGBTQ+ identities or relationships in the past. AMS 280S was devised to more broadly focus on gender and sexuality in the Ancient Mediterranean. “My dream is for students to come away with the knowledge that gender and sexuality are deeply influenced by the culture and society we live in, both today and in the past,” Chronopoulos wrote in an email. “For instance, masculinity in ancient Rome looked very different from masculinity in ancient Greece and differed yet again from how men presented and understood themselves in Persia or Egypt.” According to the syllabus, the class operates primarily through an interactive seminar rather than a lecture format. The majority of the course consists of group discussions of assigned readings and writing assignments, culminating in an individual poster project and a final paper. Reading topics include workers and drones, deviant teaching, male slave sexuality and ancient Amazons. Chronopoulos mentioned topics she found interesting during students’ presentations in the course, including one highlighting how women’s reproductive health is discussed and understood dates back to ancient medicine. Greek medi-
cal authors were not lacking in their understanding, but rather the patriarchal nature of their societies deeply influenced their thinking. Another presentation focused on a Viking burial where a discovered skeleton was assumed to be a male warrior, but a DNA study found that it was actually female, revealing that gender identity is shaped by cultural and societal norms. Students currently enrolled in the class, including Evelyn Polovich, a freshman majoring in classical studies, shared how the class taught them about gender and sexuality. “I’ve learned a lot about the ideas behind historical women and how they were treated, and how some of that has continued and morphed over the years,” Polovich said. “We’ve also read a few translations of poems and letters and explored censorship of sexuality in that area. Another large aspect of the class last semester was presentations, [where] we all got different topics, and I ended up doing one [on] the concept of pederasty, which I had never really looked into before.” Alexandra Levitt, another student in the course and a freshman majoring in politics, philosophy and law, mentioned how it helped her better understand the origins of modern societal problems. “This class has absolutely flipped the way I thought about gender and sexuality on its head,” Levitt wrote in an email. “Understanding and recognizing the cultural roots of discrimination and genuinely seeing where it came from, undeniably makes the current issues feel very pertinent.”
NEWS · 14
A Q&A with Prof. Diane Miller Sommerville Nuala Kappel — News Contributor Diane Miller Sommerville is a professor of history at Binghamton University. She teaches “Sex in American History” and “Women, Family and Sex in the Early United States,” which focus on issues regarding sex, sexuality, race and reproductive justice in the United States. She has several publications that focus on gender and race in the American South during the Civil War era and throughout the 19th century. Her most recent research is a study of postpartum disorders in the South. As she is an expert in her field, Pipe Dream interviewed Sommerville about her courses and research, the importance of studying sex and sexuality and how they impact modern society. Her answers have been edited for clarity. 1. Why is the study of sex and sexuality important? “The history of sex and sexuality is central, not peripheral, to American history. Forces have been deployed to deny Americans fundamental rights related to sex — reproductive freedom, sexual identity, interracial marriage, forced sterilization — all of which are matters of social justice. Knowing something of our nation’s past informs our ability to counter current and future efforts to infringe on these very intimate and personal rights.” 2. How does the content of your courses relate to issues relating to gender, sex, and reproductive justice in the modern United States? “We begin in the course by looking at pre-modern efforts to control reproduction. All societies at all times have developed methods to limit or forestall pregnancy. In the [United States], the criminalization of abortion at any stage came after the Civil War. We know that strict criminalization of abortion did not stop abortions. It merely made them unsafe. Scores of desperate women died when they sought so-called ‘back alley’ abortions. And because of the Dobbs decision, we’re back to where we were 150 years ago — women and girls dying because they are being denied reproductive health care. The only way forward, again we learn this from history, is to organize opposition to extremist policies and hold elected officials accountable.” 3. What do you think is the most significant impact on individuals and society of recent restrictions on abortion and reproductive health rights? “It’s hard to identify a more radical, harmful act to reproductive rights than the Dobbs decision. It has set the country back generations. The fundamental right that I had — to choose to terminate a pregnancy — is now one denied to my daughter in many states. It’s the only time in constitutional history that we’ve actually lost a right. And there are realworld consequences we see play out every day — women who miscarry naturally and are charged with a crime, women who are carrying fetuses incapable of survival and must carry them to term and young girls who are raped and become children who have children.”
4. Much of your work centers around the Civil War era and the American South. Can you discuss the significance of this in terms of the history of sex and sexuality in the United States? “The South in particular, but not exclusively, has a complicated history involving race and sex. It is impossible to overstate its importance and reach. Beginning in the 19th century, white southerners played the race card by tapping into white fears of miscegenation. Ku Klux Klan members terrorized southern men and women of different races who cohabitated. Fears of interracial marriage permeated the South following the Brown v. Board of Education decision in 1954 as opponents predicted that white and Black children attending the same schools would lead to ‘mongrelization.’ Fears that Black men posed a special threat to white womanhood ostensibly led to the lynching of hundreds of Black men. The point that I try to make in teaching is that these stereotypes are lethal and long-lasting.” 5. What is the most important thing that you have learned throughout your research and studies? “Actually, the most important thing I learned about sex and reproductive history came from my mother. My mother almost died after giving birth to my youngest brother. She had virtually no access to reliable birth control and consequently gave
birth to four children in less than five years. After she nearly hemorrhaged to death with child number four, her doctor advised her to have a tubal ligation because a future pregnancy would put her life in jeopardy. The hospital rejected the request because of its standing policy that no woman under the age of 30 could be permanently sterilized. A group of white men who had no stake in my mother’s health and well-being decided that they knew what was best for her. This real-world example of the impact of radical policies that deny women the right to decide what’s best for them informs my approach to the history of sex and fuels my passion for reproductive justice.” 6. Do you have any additional comments about the subject? “I’m worried, frankly. A state in which lawmakers ignore the counsel of medical professionals, force their own religious principles onto others and enact legislation that forces women and girls to undergo pregnancy and become parents involuntarily gets us closer to living out ‘The Handmaid’s Tale.’ We are seeing human rights violations becoming the norm. It will take massive grass-roots mobilization and unprecedented political engagement to undo the cumulative damage of the last years’ efforts to deny women basic reproductive freedoms. My hope is that my students will recognize this and carry on the fight that should have already been won.”
provided by diane sommerville The course is run through the Middle Eastern and Ancient Mediterranean Studies department, which seeks to develop lifelong interest in the culture and thought of the Ancient Mediterranean world.
NEWS · 15
sourced from southern tier women’s health services Southern Tier Women’s Health Services, located in Vestal, provides reproductive services, including abortions, annual exams, IUD insertions, birth control, cervical cancer screenings and STD testing.
‘Say the damn word:’ The state of abortion rights Ella Connors — Assistant News Editor
Since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade last June, abortion access has been stuck in a state of limbo across the United States. Though abortion rights have been threatened nationwide, they are still protected in New York state, one of the first to legalize abortion in 1970 — three years before the Roe v. Wade decision. Those seeking an abortion in New York state can receive one until 24 weeks post-fertilization, unless the fetus is not yet viable or the pregnant person’s life or health is in danger. Founded by abortion rights activist Margaret “Peg” Johnston in 1981, Southern Tier Women’s Health Services, located in Vestal, has been serving those seeking reproductive health care for over four decades. Amanda Paradysz, the service’s assistant director, said that Johnston strived to reduce stigma and harm for those looking to terminate a pregnancy. “Her motto was ‘say the damn word,’” Paradysz said. “Because people don’t like to say the word abortion. They treat it like it’s a dirty word that you can’t say. You can only talk about it behind closed doors.” The Reproductive Health Act, passed by the State Legislature in 2019, codified Roe protections in New York state. State Sen. Lea Webb also recently passed a 12-bill legislative omnibus to protect pregnant individuals and advance reproductive justice. “I am especially proud that one of my very first votes as a freshman senator was on the second passage of the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), which means that when New Yorkers go to the polls to vote this coming November, they will have the opportunity to protect the right to abortion in
our state constitution,” Webb wrote in an email. The National Abortion Federation and the New York Abortion Access Fund work with Southern Tier Women’s Health Services to increase the affordability of care, according to Alisha Kinsley, an administrative assistant at the treatment center. Family Planning of South Central New York, on Binghamton’s Hawley Street, can sign patients up for presumptive Medicaid, a 45-day emergency program, that typically covers 100 percent of their visit. Those under their parents’ insurance can sign a waiver if their insurance cannot be used for confidentiality reasons. A crisis pregnancy center— a facility that dissuades patients from receiving an abortion— is located near Southern Tier Womens Health Services. Kinsley said that sometimes, the crisis center will trick patients seeking abortion care into entering their building to try and “talk them out of it.” There are also typically anti-choice protestors outside the health service during clinic hours— every Wednesday and Thursday— who are usually religiously affiliated. Dara Silberstein, an associate research professor of women, gender and sexuality studies and director of the women’s studies program at Binghamton University, explained that the ultimate goal should be the passage of a constitutional amendment to protect reproductive rights in the United States. “That’s not going to happen easily, but that should be the movement,” Silberstein said. “I think popular sentiment supports it. We’ve seen even in the most conservative states that when abortion has been on some kind of voting referendum, the votes have been pro and protected abor-
tion.” In Ohio, a state with a Republican governor and that voted for former President Donald Trump twice, voters overwhelmingly passed a measure to add abortion rights into their state constitution. Similarly, Kentucky saw incumbent Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear win reelection on a platform emphasizing his support for abortion access. While reproductive rights are protected in New York state, the Supreme Court will soon hear a case determining whether Mifepristone, an abortion pill, could be federally banned. Some states have total bans, while others have six-week bans or other restrictions that are also barriers to access, according to Abbey Scherer, the president of BU’s Abortion Advocacy Coalition and a senior majoring in social work. Minors do not need parental consent to receive an abortion in New York state. However, across the border in Pennsylvania, patients under 18 must either receive parental consent or a judicial waiver to have the procedure. Southern Tier Women’s Health Services sees many patients under 18 from Pennsylvania seeking their help. “It’s all about access,” Scherer wrote in an email. “Abortion is legal for up to 24 weeks in [New York state], but not everyone has access for different reasons. Cost, insurance coverage, wait times, distance to clinics and harassment from protestors are all barriers that many people in New York [state] face. Educating the community on how to selfmanage their abortions, avoid crisis pregnancy centers and use the resources available to them are all things that will help overcome these barriers.”
NEWS · 16
Those who shared their views came from a diverse set of religious backgrounds — including Christianity, Judaism and Islam.
caspar carson photo editor
Sexual health resources to know Elise Harshbarger — News Contributor Binghamton University students can find numerous sexual health resources both on campus and in the surrounding community. Here are a few notable ones to be aware of. On-campus Resources: Decker Student Health Services Center (DSHSC) According to Kimberly Peabody, the University’s director of health promotions and prevention services, DSHSC is the first place students should go with questions or concerns about sexual health. The staff of registered nurses, physicians and nurse practitioners provide students with care equivalent to a primary care physician. Visits and most services are covered through students’ health fee included in tuition. The DSHSC provides services, all confidential, that include routine pap smears, birth control, menstrual disorder treatment, pelvic and breast examination, diagnosis and treatment of urinary tract infection and pelvic inflammatory disease. Students can also receive free gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV testing. The DSHSC also runs workshops on sexual wellness — “Safer Sex” and “Sex in the Digital World” — which are both one-hour talks that explore topics like dating apps, sexually transmitted infections and hook-up culture. In collaboration with the University administration and the Healthy Campus Initiative, the DSHSC provides free menstrual care and safer sex products, which can be accessed around campus, including at the Glenn G. Bartle Library, the Food Pantry, the Q Center and ordered directly to student mailboxes.
Located behind Dickinson Community, they can also be reached by calling (607) 777-2221. The Violence, Abuse and Rape Crisis Center (VARCC) The VARCC serves as a safe space to report incidents involving sexual violence. Service providers are both private and confidential and work with students to plan next steps. Students are then able to connect with other resources or speak with those who have also experienced interpersonal violence. VARCC offers walk-ins and online scheduling, and it is located on the third floor of Old Johnson. The office can be reached by calling (607) 7773010. Q Center “A safe environment where gender and sexual diversity are affirmed and community is fostered,” the Q Center supports and empowers students and staff of all sexual orientations and gender identities. The office offers educational workshops and social justice initiatives through the LGBTQ+ Active Ally Program. Consultations can also be arranged by contacting the staff. Located on the ground floor of Bartle Library, the Q Center can be contacted by calling (607) 777-6028 or by email at lgbtq@ binghamton.edu. Off-campus Resources: Broome OB/GYN The Broome OB/GYN is one of the largest specialty practices in Binghamton. Their physicians and nurse practitioners seek to provide patients with comprehensive service, including routine
gynecological care, pap smears and family planning. They can be found at 161 Riverside Drive, Suite 109 and can be reached at (607) 770-7074. Family Planning of South Central NY Inc. Family Planning of South Central NY offers same-day appointments, walk-ins and telehealth appointments. Services offered include both women’s and men’s health care, birth control treatments, pregnancy services, the HPV vaccine, HIV testing, PrEP, STD testing and treatment. They are located at 117 Hawley St. in Binghamton and can be contacted by phone at (607) 723-8306. Southern Tier Women’s Health Services LLC Southern Tier Women’s Health Services, LLC is a member of the Abortion Care Network and provides both surgical and medical abortions with follow-up care. The staff are also trained to treat patients who are transgender, or who identify as LBGTQ+. Confidential STI and HIV testing is provided by appointment. Birth control methods, including “the pill,” “the ring,” “the shot” and IUDs are available. They do require insurance and are located at 149 Vestal Pkwy W. UHS Walk-In Vestal Located across Vestal Parkway from BU’s main entrance, UHS Walk-In Vestal performs regular gynecology appointments, AIDS and HIV care and PrEP and PEP prescriptions. They can be reached at (607) 729-2144.
Opinions
OPINIONS · 19
Talk about sex more NICOLAS SCAGNELLI — Opinions Columnist Sex. Woah. I feel like I’m going to get in trouble for writing that word. I’m so used to writing about anything but sex. It feels weird to talk about. It feels really weird to write and discuss it, especially in such an open setting. Why is that? It shouldn’t be. Sex is a completely normal thing to engage in, and it can be healthy for you if done regularly. I guess at the end of the day, there are some topics that some would rather not talk about, no matter how beneficial they are. I want to try to do my best to get to the bottom of it. I feel like sex is kind of a myth when you’re a kid. Many times, kids learn about it when they’re younger during the formative years of childhood. I barely remember how I learned about it. I do remember in early middle school when the boys and girls got separated, and we were taught about what puberty would be like. Sheesh, talk about awkward. Ten-year-old me didn’t know whether to be scared or laugh with my friends. I do remember being in high school and hearing jokes about it from friends, or people who I knew. Interesting how information gets transferred when you’re 14 years old. I feel like a lot of younger people just have trouble talking about sex to certain people in their life. I’ve always been pretty open to it. Well, depending on who I’m talking to. Through what I’ve seen, it’s pretty fair to say teens and young adults will feel more comfortable talking to their parents of the same sex about, well, sex. If I had to talk to one of my folks about sex, I would definitely go with my old man because I’m a dude and he’s a dude. It’s all common ground, ya know? I love my Ma, but there are some things better left unsaid. Still though, while I’ve been open with people close to me about sex-related questions, I know a ton of people who are the opposite. I know some people who are sexually active, and I know some people who are not sexually active. Being open about talking about sex, and actually having it, is not mutually exclusive. Some of my friends who talk about sex a lot are the ones who aren’t having it at all. They don’t have a girlfriend, and according to them, they’re scared of women. Sounds like a joke, but go online and many people will agree. Look at studies and surveys from recent years. Nowadays, around 33 percent of college students aren’t having sex. There’s nothing
wrong with not having sex, but I bet a lot of people who want it aren’t getting it. Why? Many reasons, but I can’t help but feel like if sex was more openly talked about, it wouldn’t be such a big, scary deal in the first place. I enjoy talking about sex with my close friends because it’s a bonding activity. Sex is such an intimate thing to do, and talking about it makes it easier. It can be scary though. Both talking about it, but also doing it. I have some people close to me who want to have it, but never have and are scared about it. It’s super normal and common to feel this way about sex. If we were more open about talking about it with people in our lives, whether it’s our family, or close friends, I feel like a lot more people would be excited to have sex, instead of scared. But why are these people scared in the first place? Well, it’s because frankly, sex is beautiful. It’s the most intimate thing you can do with someone. It can bring you so close to someone, unlike anything else ever. Some may say it’s sacred. Is it sacred to everyone? Hell no. Just go on the internet and that’ll prove my point. But sex is this super significant and beautiful thing. The potential to make life? That’s powerful. And it’s this power, combined with the societal pressure to either have it, or not talk about, that shun a lot of people from talking about it in the first place. I’ll always be there to lend the people close to me an ear, and I hope other people do the same for their loved ones. Nicolas Scagnelli is a senior majoring in English.
Opinions
OPINIONS · 18
Sexual trauma does not justify violence in Palestine JULIE HA — Assistant Opinions Editor The New York Times (NYT) has received consistent backlash for its anti-Palestinian bias. Seeing protests outside its headquarters from anti-Zionist activists and frustrated readers alike, the publication continuously fails to cover Palestinian death with respect to a disproportionately higher and rising death toll while going so far as to use highly emotive rhetoric, like “slaughter” and “massacre,” exclusively for Israeli death. At this point, the NYT’s failure to take accountability for its wide influence and responsibility during this time of conflict is old news, and I can only hope that readers are supplementing their news intake with their own research. The one article I cannot shake, though, is one titled “How Hamas Weaponized Sexual Violence on Oct. 7.” In this viral article, the NYT chronicles the alleged rape, brutalization and mutilation of Israeli women at the hands of Hamas, ensuring to not spare any detail for the imagination. The “report” has since been extensively debunked by several sources, including human rights and feminist organizations. Although NYT’s “report” has been disproven, I do not doubt that sexual violence against Israeli women occurs — we should believe women who come forward, especially those that are often silenced. However, as feminists, we must also call attention to the instances of sexual violence that receive media attention. This means analyzing the way in which the rape of Israeli women are used to, first, delegitimize and, even, overwrite the ongoing sexual violence against Palestinian women and, second, perpetuate racist stereotypes about Arab men within the larger project of colonialism. Let me be clear — sexual violence is never justified, but neither is genocide — and the combination of the two is just typical NYT conflation. Rape and other forms of sexual abuse have historically been used as a war tactic — whether to dispose of a population or to subordinate victims. The war in Ukraine, for example, has led to several women testifying systemic rape at the hands of Russian soldiers, who told the women that “they would rape them to the point where they wouldn’t want sexual contact with any man, to prevent them from having Ukrainian children.” There are several differences between the wars in Ukraine and Palestine. Notably, there is a lack of actual testimony from the victims of Hamas’ alleged sexual abuse, with
Gal Abdush, the sister of the NYT report’s protagonist, even publicly denying her sister’s rape. Abdush claims the NYT had manipulated her family in order to produce a disturbingly romanticized piece about “the woman in the black dress.” Hence, the main issue with NYT’s coverage of sexual abuse — these intimate and harrowing forms of violence are commonly weaponized by colonizers to justify cruel agendas. Specifically, the NYT and other Western media outlets have irresponsibly mobilized liberal feminism to both paradoxically problematize the militarization of women’s sexuality and vindicate the placement of women’s bodies in the crosshairs of war. There is strong documentation of Palestinian women’s experience with sexual assault, harassment and forced nudity while visiting their loved ones in Israeli prisons and jails. The interrogation techniques of the Israeli Shin Bet are also well documented with female Palestinian prisoners facing rape, electric shocks to their genitalia and, subsequently, blackmail, in which cultural values on “family honor” and “virginity” are used to terrorize women. Additionally, strip searches and assault are common experiences for Palestinian women at hundreds of Israeli checkpoints and during military raids on their home. While the systemic sexual violence against Palestinian women goes unreported, the NYT and other Western media outlets have no issue with concocting traumatic stories claiming to speak on behalf of “silenced” Israeli women — the real victims — in the name of feminism against Hamas, which, we all have seen by now, extends to Palestinian civilians. But, it’s clear that neither the Israeli government nor the NYT actually care about the well-being of all women. This includes Palestinian women who face extensive delays to maternal care due to Israeli checkpoints, who cannot access female hygiene supplies, who inhale teargas while pregnant and whose very sexual freedom poses a “demographic threat” to a Jewish nation-state. The media also has no issue propagating gross stereotypes of Arab men. From Edward Said’s Orientalism to Sut Jhally’s Reel Bad Arabs, men of color have empirically been vilified as untrustworthy terrorists and sexually deviant womanizers incapable of having moral compasses. These stereotypes are also often used as fuel
to perpetuate violences against Black and brown folks, an infamous case being that of Emmett Till’s, a 14-yearold African American boy who was tortured and lynched in 1955 after 21-year-old white woman falsely cried rape. Now, the victimization of Israeli women, whether or not sexual abuse occurred on Oct. 7, is an instance of white women’s tears that will result in real, material consequences for the Palestinian people. If, in some world, NYT was correct in their reporting, this testimonial “confession” still isn’t the flex liberal feminists think it is. Critic Wendy Brown has argued that white middle-class feminism often manifests in “wounded identities” that demand recognition and protection, but this speaking-out about women’s trauma does not necessarily lead to liberation from the systems that produce their oppression. For example, reliance on punitive or state-sanctioned justice produces “attachments to the self (often the wounded self) and to power (often in the form of the state).” In the case of Palestine, it’s no surprise that the solution to an incredibly vulnerable and descriptive account of women’s violence is seemingly a genocide backed by a military complex worth billions of dollars. Even further though, it seems that the prerequisite rendering of women’s bodies into battlefields seems to have glossed over, accepted and, even, become a source of political gain by Zionist feminists. The question isn’t whether or not there is any truth to the NYT’s appropriation and manipulation of women’s trauma, but rather its agenda and the assumption it makes about white women as inherently privileged, yet eternal victims. Said trauma should never be a means to genocide. Keep women’s bodies out of your war. Julie Ha is a junior double-majoring in English and comparative literature and is Pipe Dream’s Assistant Opinions Editor.
Opinions
OPINIONS · 19
Love is complicated, embrace it SEAN REICHBACH —Opinions Editor It’s a draining force that overpowers the best of us. Your resistance is often futile. We sing songs about it, tell stories about it and remind ourselves of its presence on a daily basis. It’s your greatest ally when you’re stuck in a rut, and sometimes your greatest weakness when you try to hide in the dark. As college students, we are only beginning to understand what it truly means. For many of us, it is in the positive reflective moments where we will finally accept its grace. As we consume more social media, and swipe left or right on a beautiful face because there is another beautiful face behind it, we risk losing its warmth and casting a dark shadow over our lives. What am I talking about? Love. Love is not physical, albeit it obviously plays a role in attraction between two people who love each other. Love is not reserved by those who are in a relationship, nor should it be assigned to some sort of role as a stepping stone toward a higher form of commitment. We are sometimes comfortable with telling our friends that we love them, and we are sometimes comfortable only telling a set of names that could fit on our fingers that we love them. When you are in the heat of a passionate moment, it can be extremely hard to make the decision in your mind about whether or not you love someone. Do they truly belong on your special list? Awkwardness is only the beginning of what it feels like to open your heart to another and be met with no reciprocation. We all live in our own little world, and when a character in that world doesn’t meet our expectations we feel the glass walls shatter. But, you should not hesitate to display love, espouse love and display acts of love when your brain is making that anxiety rise up from the depths of your chest. A song is beautiful even when you sing it to yourself in the mirror. Even if it flows in one direction, being comfortable with opening your heart to another is a significant achievement. Sitting in your room late at night and waiting for that long text back is one of the ways that our generation has experienced some of the anxieties that come with developing a healthy form of love. Whether you invite someone over for a single night, or make hints to the one you love that you are feeling something more than just temporary passion, it is the time when we lay on our bed and have only our own brain to worry about that we tend to question if love is real. There is no need to fear in
these moments. To love is to defy chemistry and to defy logic. It is the bravest thing that a human being can do. It can be as risky as flying beyond the atmosphere and touching the stars. Every astronaut knows that there’s a chance the shuttle burns up in the sky, but the view from above the sky is worth it. Loving is extremely complicated. There are those who meet both your physical and mental demands. There are also some who you may briefly feel deeply for and only fulfill a sexual desire or a personality trait you’re looking for. It is important, especially with a web of online apps and interactions that make us see the imperfections more clearly than ever before, that no person is complete. We are each a puzzle that is missing more than a dozen pieces. To love does not require you to fit perfectly together with another. Nor does it require you to find the missing pieces in another person’s puzzle. To love someone is to recognize that they are incomplete, and that a full and caring heart does not beat at a pace that perfectly matches your own. Many of us speak of “true love.” But there is no true love perfectly distinct from every other form of love you have experienced in your life. If you are searching for a moment where love falls right into your arms, you may be searching forever. That is why it is of the utmost importance that you take the risk with someone who you feel a connection to even if you are uncertain of everything else going on in your life. You can be having complex and dynamic feelings, and yet still see a glimpse of love in an imperfect specimen that runs into you. It is often when we feel the most confused about whether we truly love someone that the answer emerges naturally. There is only the love that you feel for the people around you, and the butterflies in your stomach that form when you get that text back. Hell, make the judgment call based upon which person gives you more butterflies. There will be a complex twisting haunted forest in front of you that is called a love life, just make sure you don’t turn around and run away from it. Sean Reichbach is a senior majoring in philosophy, politics and law and economics and is Pipe Dream’s Opinions Editor.