More New
Theatre Plays froM EuroPE & SouTH AMErIcA ~ VoL. II For young people aged 11–15
Platform 11+
Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards A collaboration of European theatre companies funded by the European Union under ‘CULTURE 2007– 2013’.
PLATFORM 11+ – Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards is an artistic network in which 13 theatres from 12 European countries have joined together to collectively create new work for young people aged between 11 and 15 in both the Performing and Visual Arts. As the professional artists go about their work, the young people will be encouraged to express themselves artistically too.
At the end of the four year project, PLATFORM 11+ wants to present a multi-layered portrait of a young European generation, whose presence at the beginning of the 21st century will be reflected in numerous works of art.
Partner theatres
Represented in the Advisory Board by
Associated partners
Brageteatret (leading org.) Norway ~ Drammen
Terje Hartviksen
ATINA Argentina ~ Buenos Aires
Divadlo Alfa Czech Republic ~ Pilsen
Tomáš Froyda
University of Agder Norway ~ Kristansand
Oulun Kaupungin Teatteri Finland ~ Oulu
Mikko Kouki
Theaterstückverlag Germany ~ Munich
VAT Teater Estonia ~ Tallinn
Tiina Rebane
Junges Schauspielhaus Switzerland ~ Zürich
Theater Junge Generation Germany ~ Dresden
Felicitas Loewe
Elsinor Teatro Stabile d’Innovazione Italy ~ Milan
Stefano Braschi
Kolibri Gyermek – És Iljúsági Színház
János Novák
Hungary ~ Budapest Theater de Citadel The Netherlands ~ Groningen
Rob Bakker
Teatro O Bando Portugal ~ Palmela
Raul Atalaia
Theatre Institute Bratislava Slovakia ~ Bratislava
Vladislava Fekete
Pilot Theatre Great Britain ~ York
Marcus Romer
Emergency Exit Arts Great Britain ~ London
Deb Mullins
Contents
Preface.......................................................................................................................................... 8 PLATFORM 11+ Charter of Children’s Rights............................................................................. 15 Texts for PLATFORM 11+ Final Production ‘FACE ME Time of Transition’.................................. 18 From Europe Liv Heløe (Norway) In the Window.......................................................................................... 21 István Tasnádi (Hungary) Prank............................................................................................... 27 Annina Rokka (Finland) The Last Day of School..................................................................... 31 Bouke Oldenhof (The Netherlands) Thank You........................................................................ 47 Anna Pabst (Switzerland) What Happens During the Break.................................................... 53 Ákos Németh (Hungary) The Purse.......................................................................................... 58 Giuditta Mingucci (Italy) Before the Journey........................................................................... 67 Péter Horváth (Hungary) Black Stone...................................................................................... 72 Kristiina Jalasto (Estonia) I Have a Right to Be a Star of My own Life.................................... 77 Petr Vodicˇka (Czech Republic) The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood...... 80 Nora Mansmann (Germany) Bonny Boy & Dragonfly.............................................................. 101 Nora Mansmann (Germany) Selma........................................................................................ 103 Richard Hurford (Great Britain) Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls............ 107 Rui Pina Coelho (Portugal) 30 Schoolyard Nano-plays.......................................................... 125 Arjunan Manuelpillai (Great Britain) Santa’s Last Christmas................................................. 131 From South America Gabriel Fernández Chapo (Argentina) Bye-bye, Uniforms...................................................... 141 Gabriel Fernández Chapo (Argentina) Doubt......................................................................... 147
Irma Borges (Venezuela) Beginning of a Disaster.................................................................. 152 Irma Borges (Venezuela) We’re Like Flowers......................................................................... 157 Irma Borges (Venezuela) Pecos............................................................................................. 159 Rodrigo Ures (Argentina) Stamps.......................................................................................... 161 Yaqui Saiz (Cuba) A Boy from Buey Arriba............................................................................ 171 15 New Theatre Plays from Europe for Young People Aged 11 – 15.......................................... 179 Tibor Vokoun (Slovakia) Salto Mortale................................................................................... 181 Shireen Mula (Great Britain) Feed......................................................................................... 191 Marco Renzi (Italy) Here Come the European Boat People.................................................... 195 Katalin Gyo˝ri (Hungary) Delete.............................................................................................. 201 Miguel Moreira (Portugal) Europe.......................................................................................... 209 Heikki Itänen (Finland) Too Old and too Young..................................................................... 213 Jessica Fisher (Great Britain) Ghost Town............................................................................. 219 Lilly Axter (Germany) Victoria’s Station................................................................................. 229 Michael Müller (Germany) Boy, Boy!..................................................................................... 235 Indrek Hargla (Estonia) Andromeda’s Island......................................................................... 243 Bjørn Sortland (Norway) Make & Break................................................................................. 249 Lars Vik (Norway) Five Impossible Minutes........................................................................... 249 Toril Solvang (Norway) The Hangar........................................................................................ 263 Kristin Auestad Danielsen (Norway) The Dark Cloud............................................................. 272 Gunnar Germundson (Norway) Kim Playing........................................................................... 277 Imprint...................................................................................................................................... 286
8 | Preface
Preface
More New Theatre Plays from Europe & South America In Spring 2013, when the project PLATFORM 11+ Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards ends its four years of work, 45 new plays for 11–15 year olds will been created all over Europe. In 11 different countries, in extensive research processes, authors immersed themselves in the world of young people and thematically integrated their observations into plays. Through the intensive analysis of the real life experiences of young people, these plays portray a generation of young Europeans in a unique way.
Vol. II
PLATFORM 11+ presents the second volume of an anthology containing all the texts that have arisen during the project’s lifespan. The book contains summaries of the plays as well as selected scenes, which provide examples of dialogue. The full plays are on the CD, which accompanies the book.
T
he first volume of the anthology ‘New Theatre Plays from Europe & South America for Young People aged
11–15’ was published in 2010 and contains 30 new texts
(www.platform11plus.eu). It presents the results of two work periods
of PLATFORM 11+: in the so called ‘National Plays’, the authors
More New Theatre Plays from Europe & South America Vol. II | 9
make available their own individual views on the complex problems of the target group in their respective countries; in the ‘Plays from the Co-Writing Process’ they prove their ability to find convincing ways of presenting in-depth material and crossing territorial and language
T
his second volume of the anthology once again combines texts from two work phases of PLATFORM 11+ Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards.
borders.
The text collection at the beginning of the book ‘Children have the
The 1st volume of the anthology presents also five short plays from
challenges facing young people by the authors involved in the project.
Ibero-America. In Buenos Aires/Argentina a concept for ‘School-
This text collects the pointed statements on this extremely stimulating
yardstories’ was developed, inspired by the project initiated in Ger-
topic.
right to…’ is the result of an emotional examination of the complex
many in 2001/02 ‘European Schoolyardstories’. Here too, new plays have been created on the basis of direct contact between authors and
These same authors wrote numerous short texts to provide stimulating
the 11–15 year old target group, which has been the focal point of the
ideas for the directors of the Final Production ‘FACE ME Time of
years of work.
Transition’. They tried to capture in scenes the complicated coming of age processes of the young people in this age bracket, based on the
Now, almost all of the plays presented in the ‘New Theatre Plays from
theme ‘Goodbye and Farewell’.
Europe and South America for Young People aged 11–15’ have proved that they are suitable for being performed and that they affect the young audiences.
It was clear from the very beginning that only a selected amount of the material could be presented on stage. However, using this unusual mini format, the authors really enjoyed recording and passing on the
10 | Preface
collected experiences, which arose out of the direct contact with the young people.
Other texts such as those from Annina Rokka (Finland), Ákos Nemeth (Hungary), Liv Heløe (Norway) and Peter Horvath (Hungary) are more complex dramatically. In short scenes, they relate life defining moments
23 texts arose in this way, each of them approaching the theme ‘Good-
in the lives of young people.
bye and Farewell’ in a very different manner. Important moments of young people, their parental de-bonding and their emergence into life,
Richard Hurforth (Great Britain), Petr Vodicˇka (Czech Republic) and
are recorded in scenes, short plays and storylines. In this process the
Arjunan Manuelpillai (Great Britain) use humour and satire, to some
authors arrived at very different results both in content and in form.
extent aesthetically exaggerated, in order to give an account of the unavoidable difficulties of puberty.
Several of them seized the opportunity to radically shorten the material: Rui Pina Coelho (Portugal) follows the scanty text message language
Nora Mansmann (Germany), Anna Pabst (Switzerland) and Kristiina
in his thematically broadly diversified 30 Nanoplays, István Tasnádi
Jalasto (Estonia) do without concrete specifications and dialogues, they
from Hungary describes in short scenes the extreme effects of an espe-
describe theatrical images and plots which they offer to the directors.
cially original birthday present, Guiditta Mingucci (Italy) describes using a subtle irony, how a young man’s daily getting-up-process is slowed
South American texts are included this time too. Four authors have con-
down by his drawn out styling ritual. Bouke Oldenhof (The Netherlands)
tributed material for the PLATFORM 11+ Final Production and, in short
launches into a rhythmic monologue about the feelings of gratefulness
scenes, focus on moments of conflict in young peoples’ lives which,
towards parents.
without doubt, are also relevant in Europe.
More New Theatre Plays from Europe & South America Vol. II | 11
This wealth of material was very valuable as a starting point for the pro-
Most of the theatres announced a ‘National Playwright’s Contest’
duction ‘FACE ME Time of Transition’. Although very few of the texts
on the theme of ‘Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards’.
were directly presented on stage one to one, thanks to their precise
In Germany, where numerous playwriting competitions and other activi-
descriptions and thematic stimulus, they contributed greatly to the fact
ties are annually organized by publishers of plays, the five person jury
that the Final Production, in all their credibility and complexity, could
from tjg Dresden had more than 50 texts to chose from. Lilly Axter and
be so successfully toured through 11 European countries.
Michael Müller are experienced authors, both describe the daily hardships of young people: in ‘Oh Boy’ the friendship of two boys is put to test by a dominating male role model of one boys family. In ‘Victoria’s
T
Station’ it’s a young girl who searches for answers to decisive queshe authors who worked for the National and Final Production
tions about adolescence.
and in Co-Writing were affiliated with PLATFORM 11+ over a long period. The persistence and intensity, stimulated by the
In Italy, where the tradition in youth theatre has been to use group
PLATFORM 11+ concept, with which they observed the reality of young
devised plays rather than set texts from authors, ‘only’ nine plays were
people for four years, makes them specialists in this area.
submitted for the competition. This fact is a huge success for Teatro Elsinor and a sign of the explosive nature of the project’s theme and
At the end of its lifespan, PLATFORM 11+ wanted to extend this group
the work for the target group. In his play ‘Here Come the European
of specialists: The theatres were called upon to initiate the emergence of
Boat People’, Marco Renzi provokes with the simple turn around of the
more new texts for the 11–15 year old age group in their own countries.
real situation which is known to all of us: What would it be like when
12 | Preface
climate change turns Europe into a poor continent and Africa into a dream destination?
rules for how people should live together. Gunnar Germundson is the only author who, in ‘Kim Playing’, describes a private conflict, which ensues from the central character’s new patchwork family constellation.
Brageteatret from Drammen (NO), found in Drammatikkens Hus a competent and experienced partner, well versed in working with authors. The
The competition was specifically used in London and York (GB), Buda-
institutions jointly present 5 plays written by well known theatre authors
pest (HU) und Bratislava (SK) to foster new young authors, who, as they
for DUS, the Norwegian version of the British Youth Theatre Project
developed their texts, were assisted by PLATFORM 11+ authors. The
‘Connections’. Following the DUS concept most of the scripts are writ-
young authors, being very close to the problems of this phase of life,
ten for large casts and young actors and therefore look for suitable dra-
were correspondingly realistic in their descriptions of young peoples’
matic starting points:
problems. In ‘Salto Mortale’ Tibor Vokoun (SK) questions the resil-
In Bjorn Sortland’s text ‘Make & Break’ it is the dubious participa-
Katalin Györi (HU) relates the abrupt end of childhood for an entire
tion of young people in a reality show, in Kristin Auestad Daniesen’s
class in the face of a tragic event, Shireen Mula (GB) presents in ‘Feed’
ience and strength of friendship and private relationships, in ‘Delete’
text ‘Dark Cloud’ 5 children are confronted by and unexpected threat
a precise study of the generation gap which is frustrating for all con-
during their holiday without parents, Lars Vik outlines in ‘Five Impos-
cerned and in Jessica Fisher’s (GB) ‘Ghost Town’, the main character
sible Minutes’ the dispute inside a young theatre group confronted
has to learn how to live with the betrayal of her best friend.
with an unusual opportunity to put on a performance. In Toril Solvang’s ‘The Hanger’ the expected apocalypse puts an end to all of the current
More New Theatre Plays from Europe & South America Vol. II | 13
The partners from Finnland, Estland and Portugal describe the specific
Thanks to digital networking and the translations into English, the plays
search for plays set in the present for the target group as especially
can surmount national borders and will hopefully be able to be experi-
problematic. More so than in other countries, the scarcity of good texts
enced elsewhere.
makes high quality youth theatre work difficult. Hence the presentation of plays from these countries and particularly their staging locally is an
February 2013
important step in the right direction. Heikki Itänen (FI) devotes himself realistically in ‘Too old and too young’ to the conflict between parents adolescents. The plays from Estonia (‘Andromeda’s Island’
Odette Bereska (Germany)
from Indrek Hargla) and Portugal (‘Europe’ from Miguel Moreira), both
Editor
depart from conventional storytelling and search for a metaphorical
Literary Adviser
exaggeration to pose questions with a philosophical dimension.
PLATFORM 11+
The fact that almost all of the plays presented in this book will be staged (or have already been staged) proves the long term effectivity of PLATFORM 11+: To present new plays which describe the complex real life situations of adolescents in Europe in modern theatre language on stages throughout the continent is a goal that the PLATFORM 11+ partners don’t want to lose sight of, even after the project is over.
All of the plays presented in the book are on the accompanying CD. (The printing layout is A4). Details about copyright are to be found with each play. For further information (e.g. other translations, other plays from the authors) visit the official PLATFORM 11+ website:
www.platform11plus.eu
charter of children’s rights | 15
PLATforM 11+
Charter of Children’s rights Statements from 13 authors as starting points for writing texts for the final Production
Inspired by Charter of Children’s Rights to Art and Culture (© www.pendragon.it)
16 | Platform 11+
Every child has the right…
“
“
… to say Thank you, even when its parents don’t want to be thanked.
”
BOUKE OLDENHOF (NL)
“
… to be serious.
GIUDITTA MINGUCCI (IT)
… to be the star of its own life.
KRISTIINA JALASTO (EE)
”
“
“
… to tell a story.
”
“
”
LIV HELØE (NO)
”
T (CH) ANNA PAPS
… to blame its parents
… to grow taller than its parents … to want its parents to stay together
ANNINA ROKKA (FI)
s cake, … to have it o and eat it to
”
“
When you real ize that your driver is taking you towards an ab yss, you have the right to rio t.
”
RUI PINA CO ELHO (PT)
charter of children’s rights | 17
day. Or at least every second day. … to demand fresh milk and parents every Or at least every second parent. ding their own. … to consider every ideology stupid, inclu personal belongings after their favourite … to name teddy bears, bikes and other at all. singers. Even, if there is no similarity
“
“
… to become an adult but to stay a child. … be alone with its self. NORA MANSMANN (DE)
one jokes, especially if no … to laugh at its own ny. else thinks they’re fun (GB) RICHARD HURFORD
ARJUNAN MA NUELPILL
AI (GB)
”
PETR VODICˇKA (CZ)
“
“
… to tell the world how it feel, even if the world do esn’t want to hear it.
”
”
“
“
”
… not to be celebrated.
) ISTVAN TASNADI (HU
”
I want to have the right not to be born. (If it’s impossible, I’d like to
have the right to love myself – also in that case, if nobody loves me. If it’s also impossible, I need the right not to see what I don’t want.)
PÉTER HORVÁTH (HU)
”
final Production faCE mE time of transition One Act Plays, Short Scenes, Storylines
14
authors from 12 countries wrote texts on the theme of
24 performing artists from 11 European countries took part in the pro-
‘Goodbye and Farewell’ for the Final PLATFORM 11+
duction, which was performed three times in June 2012, in Pilsen (High
Production faCE mE – time of transition.
School František Krˇižík) during the Skupova Festival.
The entire material was put at the disposal of the 6 directors of the pro-
The production toured in the 11 countries of the participating artists in
duction. Some scenes were put on stage unchanged, in the majority of
autumn and winter 2012/2013.
cases however, the material served as a stimulus for ideas and was integrated into the production in an adapted form.
The final performance of faCE mE – time of transition was at the PLATFORM 11+ Annual Encounter in March 2013 in Drammen/Norway.
Rehearsals for the production took place in June 2012 in the countryside surrounding Pilsen/CZ.
20 |
All photos from fAcE ME Time of Transition, the final Production of PLATforM 11+ (See page 178 for the team)
In the Window | 21
Liv Heløe ~ Norway
In the Window It’s raining
It’s raining more and more
We’re in the kitchen looking out of the window mum and me
There’s going to be a prom I say
The neighbour’s digging a hole in the ground
A prom mum says
What’s he doing with that hole I say
At school in two weeks I say
I don’t know mum says
What fun mums says
How’s it going at school mum says
Fun I say
Fine I say
You and dad shouldn’t ’ve had any kids I say
What does that mean mum says
What mum says
That it’s fine I say
You and dad shouldn’t ’ve had any kids I say
How’s it going with your maths mum says
Why not
Fine I say
Look at me
Does you teacher think it’s going fine too mum says
I don’t understand anything she says
Yes I say
Don’t be stupid I say
22 | Liv Heløe ~ Norway
Honestly she says
I would if he was here I say
There’s dancing at the prom I say
It’s not my fault that he’s not here mum says
Yes mum says Do I look like I can dance I say
A year passes
Why not she says Can a midget dance
We’re in the kitchen dad and me
A midget
Dad’s got the car keys in his hand
Yes
Not much changed here dad says
You’re not a midget
No I say
That’s exactly what I am
Apart from you dad says
You’re not one of the tallest but you’re by no means
Have I changed I say
That’s exactly what I am I say the absolute shortest
Yes dad says
The neighbour takes something or another from his pocket and puts it
How
in the hole
How’s your mum dad says
Height’s not important mum says
Mum’s fine I say
But you have to be able to reach up I say You have to reach up
Have you packed dad says
Then he shovels the earth back
Yes I say
Then he goes
Diving mask flippers
You can complain to your dad mum says
Yes I say
In the Window | 23
Rain-clothes something warm ’S only for a week I say
Hi mum says but doesn’t turn round Is something up I say
Yes he says shall we go
No no mums says
Or shall we wait ’til mum comes so you can see for yourself how she is
I sit down
I say
I’m hungry
No I don’t know dad says No let’s go
It doesn’t look like there’s any dinner
The neighbour brings out a watering can
Everything all right at work I say
Stops by the little sprig sticking out of the ground
Yes mum says
What are the neighbour up to dad says
And the electric’s not gone up I say
Watering I say
No Everything’s fine mum says
I can see he’s watering what’s he watering
Doesn’t quite look like it
Dunno I say
I say how’s it going with that bloke
Can’t see anything there at all dad says Let’s go
What mum says
OK I say
That bloke
A year passes
The one you’ve been meeting I say
What d’you mean mum says D’you know about the guy I’ve been meeting mum says Mum’s standing by the window
Difficult not to I say
Hi I say
You’ve been singing in the shower
24 | Liv Heløe ~ Norway
Laughing at stupid jokes
There’s blossom on the tree
Saying yes to everything I asked for
The neighbour ambles up
Have I mum says
Looks at the tree
Yes What’s happened
I wonder what sort of tree it is
She doesn’t answer
The neighbour waves
Doesn’t he want to be with you
I wave back
No mum whispers He doesn’t want to be with me
Cherry perhaps
She bows her head
The neighbour walks towards his house
Says I don’t know what to do
I’m hungry I say Aren’t you
What can I answer
No mum says
I say Is there actually anything you can do
You have to eat I say Let’s go out To a café
I say You can’t force him to love you
To a café mum says
I say You’ll just have to wait and see Maybe he’ll ring one day
Yes I say No discussions
He must go into himself Find out what he wants Maybe it was a bit much
Ok mum says
What if he doesn’t ring mum whispers
She puts her hands to her head sorts her hair out in the window
Then he doesn’t I say It’s just the way it is
And then Then we both notice
I get up go to the window
in the window
We stand beside each other looking out
That I’m taller than mum
The sun’s going down
I really am
In the Window | 25
I put an arm round her shoulders
Liv Heløe (*1963) is a Norwegian playwright. She worked
We stand there a bit looking
as an actress for 15 years in theatre, film and television.
Then we go to the café
She wrote her first play in 1992 and her second play two years later – both were staged at a festival for new plays
The text may be performed by one, two or three actors.
in Oslo. In 2003 she completed ‘Pilotprosjekt for Drama tikere’, a two year course for playwrights. She has been writing for theatre and radio theatre on a full time basis
Translated by Neil Howard.
since 2003. She has written two plays for young people – one of them for DUS (the
© www.brageteatret.no
Norwegian parallel to ‘Connections’ in the UK). Her work also includes three full-night plays for adults and two for children, four plays for radio and several monologues, one-act and short plays. In 2006 she received the national Ibsen Award, Special Commendation for ‘Lise L.’, Prix Europa 2009 and the Hedda-Price (Heddaprisen) for ‘Before the Bell’ (‘Før det Ringer’ at Brageteatret) as the best production for children and young people in the season 2009/10.
Board member of Writers’ Guild of Norway (Norske Dramatikeres Forbund): www.dramatiker.no
26 |
Prank | 27
István Tasnádi ~ Hungary
Prank
Young people, around 16 –17 years old, are waiting in an apartment
TIMI: Let’s light the candles!
belonging to one of them. The apartment has been decorated for a birthday celebration. One of them receives a text message and comments on
MARCI: Not yet! They’ll be driving him around a little first! (His cell
it excitedly:
phone rings, he pulls it out, looks at it.) Take a look at this! A photo. Süni sent it.
MARCI: It’s started! The others gather around Marci, look at the photo, depicting three LUCA: What?
masked figures pulling a hood over a young boy’s head.
KARESZ: You’ll see!
Excitement, cheerful laughter.
The others launch into excited preparations.
LUCA: What are they doing with him?
28 | István Tasnádi ~ Hungary
KARESZ: Nothing. Just a practical joke.
TIMI: They’re here! They just pulled up in front of the house!
LUCA: You said it was a birthday party.
They flock to the window.
KARESZ: Surprise party, that’s what I said.
KARESZ (laughing): This is good shit.
MARCI (to Luca): They pulled a bag over his head and hustled him
MARCI: I’ll go meet them in case some tenant comes out.
into a car. They’re driving him around a little and blasting The Prodigy. TIMI: Meantime we’ll light the candles. They laugh. MARCI: Okay! LUCA: But why? Marci goes out. Karesz and Timi light candles. KARESZ: Why? Because! To make a point. KARESZ: You have a lighter, don’t you? C’mon, help us out here. (Luca MARCI: He got cocky with us. He said there was no way we could sur-
joins the candle-lighting.) Turn off the lights.
prise him. Timi goes to the door, turns off the lights, peers into the foyer. Timi, who has been standing at the window, excitedly reports:
Prank | 29
LUCA: Which birthday?
MARCI AND HIS COHORTS: “Happy birthday to you…” etc.
KARESZ: Seventeen.
The boy looks around, blinking, his face streaked with tears, his entire body trembling.
TIMI: Shut up, they’re coming! Total silence! The singing grinds to a halt. Timi runs back. The group waits in silence. Marci steps in the door, barely managing to suppress his laughter.
The boy still hasn’t entirely grasped where he is and that nothing’s wrong. There is a wet spot on his pants and this wet spot is getting bigger.
Behind him are three guys: one has his hands bound, his head covered with a hood, and is being shoved in front of the others. He is pushed to
Timi goes to him, embraces him, and quietly comforts him.
the middle of the room, and surrounded. Marci brings a bucket to clean up the mess. The others stand around, One of them rips the hood off his head.
embarrassed and clueless.
The boy jerks his hands to his face as if expecting a blow. Somebody
Finally somebody comes to their senses and turns on the CD player. The
lets out a laugh.
party may begin.
The assembled crowd, except Luca, begins singing:
Translation Eugene Brogyányi. © www.kolibriszinhaz.hu
Born in 1970, István started as a poet in 1992, his first published work was a book of poems. He doesn’t write poems anymore, but his plays are mostly are written in verse. Over the last 15 years he has written approximately 25–30 plays, adaptations and several film scripts. He was a founding member of the Arc Theatre in 1996, and worked there for 5 years as a dramaturg. Then he joined Krétakör (Chalkcircle) Theatre. The theatre created a lot of performances with the method of work-in-progress, which means he used actors’ improvisations when writing the text. With these performances the theatre toured all over Europe. Over the last few years he won some literary awards in Hungary, twice the Critics Award for the best new Hungarian play. Three of his plays (Public Enemy; Phaidra fitness; Finito) were translated into English, German, Italian and France.
His first volume of poems was published in 1993 (Walter Egon farewell letters, Orpheus Publisher), his first volume of plays was published in 2000 (Cocain courier, Osiris Publisher) and the Taigetos nursery (Jelenkor Publisher) came out in 2004, it’s contains different drama scripts written in co-operation with Árpád Schilling, who is the director at the Krétakör Theatre.
The Last Day of School | 31
Annina Rokka ~ Finland
The Last Day of School Characters:
any nines? I hope I’ll get two. I haven’t been concentrating at school so
Loviisa 16 yrs.
much, so that would be good. The younger students will be singing at
Johannes 15 yrs.
the ceremony. Our class is also singing a song but that’s kind of embar-
Jucy-man 12 yrs.
rassing. Johannes enters. Jucy-man puts his headphones on.
Act 1: Freedom Outside school. A bench. Loviisa is sitting with her mp3 headphones on.
Johannes After today there’s no more school for me. I’m free.
Next to her sits Jucy-man with his skate board. Loviisa sees Johannes. Takes the headphones off. Jucy-man This is the last day of school. The grey building looks sad, though the skies are filled with sunshine. Now we all get rated from
Loviisa (to herself) Been drooling over that Johannes for some time
four to ten. I wonder how many sevens I’ll get. None, I hope. Will I get
now. He’s deliciously creamy, a perfect bloke.
32 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
Johannes kicks over a bin. He turns his head towards the school. He
Jucy is fooling around and pointing Johannes to be a gang leader.
starts walking towards Loviisa. Jucy-man He’s gonna try and make me anyway. Loviisa Hello! Jucy takes Johannes hand and points the finger to his own head, like Johannes stops and sits down. Jucy-man takes his headphones off.
Johannes is holding a gun to Jucy’s head.
Loviisa What are you doing today?
Jucy-man Will you take drugs or alcohol?
Johannes Don’t know, Loviisa. There might be something going on in
Jucy takes a bubble gum.
town tonight. Jucy-man So I took drugs because alcohol tastes so bad. Loviisa (showing her mp3) This is not working right. Me no happy. Can you help?
Johannes Are you the guy in that tre flip double set videos?
Johannes (looks at it) No can do. But definitly a party of somekind.
Jucy-man Yeah, but that was just luck.
Jucy-man Party? No, says I. No. No way I’m taking any drugs!
Jucy shows the position on his feet.
The Last Day of School | 33
Jucy-man I was at the skate park, trying out some double ollies but my
Johannes looks at her for a long time, but after she disappears around
feet were like this, in tre flip position and my ollies just started rolling
the corner, he closes his eyes and thinks of freedom.
out as tre flips. First I got spooked, but when I landed and it had all got caught on video, everyone shouted “u r crazyyy”. I was trying to tell everybody that it happened accidentally but they wouldn’t believe it. They
Act 2: Gambling
put the video on the tube. But I didn’t care.
The school hallway. Loviisa takes off her headphones. She gives up, because the old mp3 doesn’t work.
Loviisa You are crazy. Jucy Once I won 14 euros in the jackpot. Johannes Yeah but the video had 15 thousand hits and like at least a hundred comments.
Loviisa looks at him, wondering if he’s okay.
Jucy-man 10,000 likes. It’s crazy, and it all happened in just one day.
Loviisa Err.. did you double?
Jucy shows Loviisa a clip on his mobile. Loviisa puts her headphones on
Jucy No. Don’t like playing on my own. You should be 18 you know.
and looks at Johannes. It starts raining. Johannes puts his hood on. Jucy and Loviisa walk in. Loviisa See you, maybe tonight.
Loviisa There’s machine. Should we go and give it a try?
34 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
Jucy and Loviisa go to the machine. They act like it’s a jackpot machine
Loviisa Anyway, her name was Ella, even though all her girls’ maga-
but it’s just a snack automat. They buy loads of goodies. They are chat-
zines got delivered in the name of Paula Ella Anna-Stiina Johanson. Well
ting about money, memories and snacks.
anyway Ella got mad and went to brush her teeth. I just put my braces on, you know one of them orthodontic things you wear during the night,
Jucy Oh yeah, today is my lucky day. I got Juissi, the juicy soft drink
I read Anna Frank’s diary for a bit and fell asleep. In the morning Ella
from Finland. I have to have Pear Juissi every day. Nearly all the skate-
wasn’t there. I thought she must have got up already so I went down-
board guys drink Juissi. Some energy drinks like Battery might be
stairs. Ella was there with her mum and her eyes were all red and teary.
alright too.
Her mum said that I couldn’t come to their house anymore and that it was better that I left straight away. I picked up my things: the left over
Loviisa Double the sour cream and onion crisps. Lock the salty
crisps, toothbrush, braces, towel, Anne Frank’s diary and just ran home.
liquorice. When I was your age I used to pack lots of those goodies and
After 300 metres I started crying, but luckily it also started raining, so
sleepover at my friend’s house. Once we were at her house, we jumped
no one could tell. Though some passerby may have wondered why I was
on the trampoline and watched a film. When we were eating the crisps, I
running around in my nightie. At home mum said: don’t worry, you’ve
made my friend take this test of truth I had just made up. Her score was
got other friends. And that if you just worry about one thing, you may
this: You’ve never been honest. You’d even lie about your own name. At
miss out on many good things.
least try telling your best friend your real name. Jucy had stopped to think about Loviisa’s mum’s logic, he is not busy Loviisa scores a big treat of goodies to eat and drink. Jucy keeps on milking the machine.
with the machine any longer.
The Last Day of School | 35
Loviisa Hey hey, double! A chocolate bar!
mum straight away, she had to come and drive it home for me. You really have to be 15 to drive it you know.
Jucy My name is Matt. Loviisa I can give you a ride to town tonight, unless you’d rather drive Loviisa laughs.
with your Mom.
Loviisa An honest man.
Jucy This machine is empty.
Jucy My real name I mean, but everybody just calls me the Jucy-man.
Act 3: Carnal Knowledge Jucy drinks Juissi (the soft drink).
Johannes walks towards a laptop in a computer corner. There are several laptops in the hall for pupils to use. Above them there is a big screen.
Jucy I’m just so lucky. Once I went to the market place. My mum had given me 5 euros. I bought a bag of pick’n’ mix, which cost 4.50. So
Johannes I wonder what my life will be like next year. I don’t have
that was it, I only had 50 cents left. What can you do with 50 cents?
to go to school. Last winter nothing really happened. One time in the
Nothing. Everything costs more that. There was a raffle for 50 cents.
morning I was sitting in the kitchen. I sat on a chair by the window. I
I thought, why not? I had never won anything. But that’s when it all
was drinking coffee and eating really awful tasting toast. Ooh, a squir-
started. I was announced as the winner of a brand new moped. I called
rel climbed on the roof and at first I thought that snow will probably fall down from the roof soon. Then the squirrel fell down with the snow and
36 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
ran away. Oh wasn’t that all surprising! But now it’s time for something
Jucy and Loviisa enter. They give Johannes a light soda.
to happen, to actually start. Loviisa The winnings came up to 180€. We milked the machine dry. Johannes opens a laptop and illustrates a squirrel game. Jucy I’m just so damn lucky. Look. Johannes The squirrel went to headquarters in Washington DC. He sat in a military bunker with his light machine gun and drank light soda. He
Jucy shows his tre flip video by pressing it on from his laptop. It shows
was reloading his 7.62 mm light machine gun when squirrel number
on the giant video screen for everybody to see.
two appeared from the corner. – You are a retarded idiot who can’t fight in a war. – You tell me that I can’t fight? Last night I killed hundreds. As
Loviisa takes a webcam photo of herself and puts it in the net. Johannes
soon as I can, I will join the human army. – You idiot, they’ll never let
receives it and puts the laptop on his lap. He writes something personal
squirrels into human wars.
covering the keys with his body and other hand. On the big screen shows only stars like when you are writing a password. Both Loviisa and Jucy
Sound of gunshots as the game squirrels shoot themselves into millions of pieces of meat and bone.
receive Johannes’ message, Loviisa reacts positively and Jucy thinks that the message from Loviisa. Music and rhythm. Messaging continues and their emotional reactions get directed at the laptops. Johannes’
Johannes Hhh, the net is full of these buttheads ranting about some cause or another.
suggestions get mixed up online, Jucy thinks he is online just with Loviisa, and Loviisa then understands receiving messages from Jucy, not Johannes, she starts fooling around.
The Last Day of School | 37
Loviisa (mockingly/writing online-on the big screen) So are you taking
Jucy I’m just so lucky.
precautions in order to be sexually active? Loviisa He gave her the condom and put the video camera on. They’ll Johannes and Jucy receive the question on their screens. Johannes is
load it on the tube later.
getting excited and starts going through his pockets, emptying his wallet. Out comes a moped license. Jucy is a bit terrified, surprised.
Loviisa puts a condom over her head, blowing air into it. This shows on the big screen and Jucy is giggling at the sight of it. Loviisa looks
Jucy (saying/writing online- on the big screen) Err… You should really
at Johannes to see if he has been amused by her. Loviisa turns off the
be… what age should you be?
webcam and a broadcast from the assembly hall ceremony appears on the screen. The whole school is singing a farewell song (end of school
Loviisa So Matt! Matt, the honest man, was in an online shop. So he
term song).
was in an online shop buying condoms. He ran all the way to Anna’s door. Lady Anna was waiting in her silk underwear.
Loviisa Ooops!
Johannes finds a single condom in his wallet, he has had it there for
Jucy We are late. We are late. They’ve already started. I can’t believe
some time. The screen shows Loviisa’s earlier webcam picture.
we are late.
Loviisa So she was wearing the silk underwear and waiting in her bed.
Johannes I’ve been late every morning. Why shouldn’t I be late on the
Matt the honest man took off his clothes, only the boxer shorts stayed on.
last morning as well.
38 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
They all leave and on the screen we see them going to their own places.
Jucy (to Johannes) You should be 18 you know. (to Loviisa) You’ve got
Johannes is the last and the whole row needs to stand up to give him
a moped license, haven’t you?
space. Loviisa No problem.
Act 4: School reports
Loviisa takes Johannes’ license and shows it to Jucy covering the pic-
Schoolyard. After the ceremony.
ture with her thumb.
Jucy I got three nines and only one seven. I’m just so lucky.
Jucy Cool. See you later. My mum will be so happy about my school report that she’ll let me go.
Loviisa I got a scholarship to a top class college. But how could I move? Jucy leaves. Loviisa rubs off the date of birth of Johannes’ license. Johannes I’m finished with it all. I got my freedom. Freedom party at
Johannes writes in a new date making the card appear authentic. Lovi-
the old warehouse tonight, you coming?
isa tries doing Johannes’ hair to make him seem older. Johannes tries
Loviisa Can you get us some beers?
money. They share a moment. They feel like kissing.
Johannes Yeah, but I’m not old enough.
Loviisa Buy a six pack. Good luck. Don’t let me down.
walking with a confidence of an older person. Loviisa hands over some
The Last Day of School | 39
Loviisa leaves. Johannes puts his hear as it used to be. He takes the con-
Jucy Come on, for real, no one’s just that bad, a pure image of evil.
dom into his hands as he readjusts his wallet with the money. Loviisa Like, get this. I went home with my grades, which were really good, and she was just there packing her things in the living room and
Act 5: Loviisa’s Mother
her boyfriend was sitting in a rocking chair looking at her, munching
Outside Jucy’s home.
on his tranquilizers. So I said ”are we moving?”, my smile disappear-
Jucy Mum was asking if you’ve really got a license for driving mopeds
and I saw deep sorrow and longing in his eyes. “What’s happened?” I
so it was really good you showed to me earlier. I gotta be back by eleven.
demanded. Mum got up, looked at me and him and said: “Listen now,
ing from my face. “You and me are moving” she said. I looked at him
And I have to ring her at nine. Mum can come and drive the moped
this is between adults, things that you don`t have to worry about.” And
home if you’ve got something else or whatever.
she gave me a pink i-pod. “Go and enjoy your present!” I got angry. I
Loviisa Your mum seems really cool. With mopeds and all that. I call
fault”.
turned to her and whispered: You are cheating on him! This is all your my mum Anna. She never asks or discusses things with me. I’m not going to call her mum anymore. The world’s just a big playground for
Jucy That sucks.
her, where she plays around without thinking about the consequences of her actions. She’s quite a joke for a mum, not even ashamed for it.
Loviisa Imagine she had arranged the place at this new college for me,
She’s never even really sorry for anything. She’s just texting her new
but she never bothered to ask me first if I wanted to move. This college
man, smiling away and not taking me seriously at all.
40 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
is great but…she treats me like a five-year-old. Why didn’t she discuss
But right now I still only have my hand. I wanted this to happen over a
it with me?
year ago. Will she turn up?
Loviisa puts her helmet on and Jucy follows her example and picks up his skateboard.
Act 7: The party Loviisa and Jucy enter. Loviisa is holding and Jucy still wearing the
Jucy So where are we going?
he met. Jucy That was a wild ride.
Act 6: Johannes’ Monologue In an old bus at a warehouse. Johannes is waiting. He is carrying a fresh
Johannes honks from the bus. Shows the drinks and hides the condoms.
packet of condoms, six-pack of beer, Juissi (juice) and light coke. Music. Rhythmic speech.
Jucy and Loviisa enter the bus.
Me with myself alone at my party. I think I am inside her. But it was only
Loviisa Awesome. How did you get in?
my hand. Me, myself and my hand. Me, myself at my party. I began to hate. Maybe she is only a kleinscheisse. Kleinscheisse, kleinscheisse.
Johannes My dad works here. It’s all right. No one will bother to check
No, me, myself and her at my party. She will say – come inside. I will say
an old bus. Freedom!
– fuck yeah! and I will do it. And I will do it. I’ll do it. do it. do it. do it. do.
The Last Day of School | 41
Johannes puts some music on. Loviisa is drinking beer. Jucy is going
Johannes What?! Would you prefer a sloth? You think you are some
around the bus. Loviisa throws a packet of tranquelizers on the bench.
kind a black panther then?
Loviisa Mum’s ex-man is such a wuss; I took some of these off him.
Jucy comes from the back of the bus.
He doesn’t know how to defend himself; he’d rather numb all his senses. Sometimes things are just too bright for me.
Jucy I would be some kind of a cat animal. I always land on my feet. She is more like a terrier of some kind. Always barking, but doesn’t bite.
Johannes and Loviisa are flirting and playing around. Johannes is sexually excited. Loviisa is acting nervous. She thinks Johannes has previous
Loviisa Go on pussycat, out of my territory or I’ll bite your butt off.
sexual experience because he appears so mature and acts mysteriously withdrawn at school.
Johannes There’s some fancy old junk in the yard there if you wanna take a look.
Loviisa If you were an animal, which animal would you be? Johannes and Loviisa look at each other. They are happy they have got Johannes Don’t know. A squirrel.
Jucy out, so they can be by themselves. Jucy doesn’t notice and goes out.
Loviisa laughs.
Loviisa I don’t want you be a wuss squirrel. Loviisa is mixing a drink with the tranquilizers and the juice.
42 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
Loviisa (teasing) Be a man! Here, drink this truth serum and prove that
Johannes Kleinscheisse.
you’re a real man. Loviisa notices the juice has been drunk. A loud noise from outside. Loviisa sits on Johannes’ lap and challenges him to drink. Johannes stares at her intensely.
Loviisa Jucy-man!
Johannes I’ll show you some truth!
Loviisa goes out, we a moped starting and new crash. (Loviisa was going to take Jucy home on the moped, but they fall over.) Loviisa has hurt her
Johannes quickly takes the drink out of her hand and puts it on the
teeth. Loviisa drags Jucy to the bus door.
bench and kisses her. Jucy enters. Loviisa Help! Quick! Jucy I found this amazing place to try out my tre flip. Johannes What the hell happened! Do we call someone? We can’t Jucy drinks the juice, picks up his skateboard and goes. Johannes and
order an ambulance to come here! We’ll get a fine and my dad will get
Loviisa don’t notice Jucy’s actions. They freeze for a moment. When
into trouble. We are not supposed to be here.
Jucy leaves, Johannes brings out the condoms. Loviisa lets out a nervous laugh, gets off Johannes’ lap and goes to get a drink.
Loviisa To the hospital! He drank the truth serum.
Loviisa I need a beer.
Johannes gets the old bus running
The Last Day of School | 43
Loviisa Do you know what you are doing?
Johannes What a mess and I only wanted to fuck. I’m just a squirrel.
Johannes No, but I know how to drive. Shut up and take care of him!
of the snow falling down the roof.
I’ll never be a part of human wars. I should just stay home and be aware What a stupid idea making a truth serum like that. Johannes starts walking home and kicks over a bin as he goes. Loviisa Yeah, but do you know what you’re doing? Johannes My dad’s taught me to drive in quiet country lanes.
Act 9: Hangover Loviisa’s walking alone. Her mouth is hurting.
Johannes drops them off outside the hospital. Loviisa I broke my legos. It was really worth wearing those orthodonJohannes You’d better go in. Will you take care of him? I’ll see if I can
tic braces for all those nights. Just couldn’t go to that same hospital.
take this bus back.
They’ll find him there soon anyway. His mobile keeps going off all the time. I’ll go to the dentist in the morning and say I fell on the stairs.
Loviisa Yeah, hurry up, I’ll phone you later. Loviisa hears the news on her ipod. Johannes drives off. Radio The closing of schools has required diligence from the police forces in the inner city and suburban areas. In addition to fines, the
44 | Annina Rokka ~ Finland
police have been issuing child protection orders and confiscating alco-
Loviisa takes her mobile phone and phones Johannes. We see Johannes
hol and narcotic substances from many under-aged young people. A
walking and talking.
12-year old boy is currently in hospital. It is suspected that he was drugged and forced into criminal activities. The suspect is a young man who is also suspected of stealing a vehicle and driving without a driver’s
Act 10: Results
license. The victim is recovering well at the hospital.
School yard, couple of days later.
Loviisa gets angry and break her ipod. Loviisa looks at the broken ipod.
Johannes So show me your smile.
Loviisa Sorry mum, I broke your present. I really mixed it all up. I’m no
Loviisa shows her teeth.
better than you. Jucy didn’t even know where he was going. And why did I fuck up Johannes? I’m like rotten plague, everything I fancy and touch
Loviisa Sorry, no kissing for a week. They’re brand new. Sorry, I mean
turns into mud. I forgive you mum, you don’t have strength for more. But
it. I’m sorry for it all. How did you manage?
I don’t know how long I can forget the past to confront the future. This might be too much. And anyway, it’s quite tempting to get away from
Johannes I got the bus back, but dad found out about it. He got so
here, to dive into something new, to start afresh. No one knows about
mad. He said it’s a good thing he didn’t get fired and that the child pro-
the skeletons in your cupboard.
tection unit would probably come after me if they’d find out. Jucy enters.
The Last Day of School | 45
Jucy I got to go soon. The guys are waiting for me at the ramp. Never
Johannes So what are you gonna do?
told anything to anyone, it’s a good thing I can’t remember. Loviisa Whatever I do I wanna decide myself and be ready for it. I’ve Loviisa Sorry, man. It was all my fault. I made this stupid mix in the
been going so fast and I fell off the wagon.
juice. I never meant you to drink it. Can you ever forgive me? Johannes I almost lost my freedom. I’m not gonna risk it again. Not Jucy looks at Loviisa for a long time. He has been under the impression
for anything.
that the drugs had somehow come from Johannes. He is surprised and a bit disappointed in his friend.
Loviisa What if I move away for college?
Jucy That juice really knocked me out. Lucky I forgot my helmet on.
Johannes I’ve got the freedom to wait for you my kleinscheisse.
Had I collapsed without it, the doctors said, I could have cracked my skull! Being HIGH didn’t impress me. Don’t really wanna try that again. But the guys are waiting at the ramp, better go. Bye! Jucy goes. Loviisa Cool. He seems to be okay.
Translation Sari Tanner. © www.teatteri.ouka.fi
Annina Rokka is graduated from the Tampere University with a degree in acting in 1991 and completed a Masters Degree in Theatrical Arts in 1995. Since 1996 she has been working as an actress at Oulun kaupunginteatteri (Oulu City Theatre), in addition to participating in many different productions throughout the country on TV, musicals, children’s theatre, modern and poetic drama and international experimental theatre projects with Theatre Quo Vadis. Since the early 2000s, Annina has increasingly taken professional interest in writing adaptations, dramatizing and directing plays and youth involvement. Her latest text, based on her mother’s poetry, was the basis for a play Aino ja Reino at Oulun Kaupunginteatteri premiering in the autumn 2011.
Thank You | 47
Bouke Oldenhof ~ The Netherlands
Thank You
It struck me that 12 year old children start thanking their parents for the things they do for them. Not only did my children do this, other people’s children as well. It is curious that the children express their dependency and their independency at one time in this way. [An adult actor. Children speaking the words of the grown ups as a mir-
because everytime you time you cry,
ror image.]
there are people coming up to ask what they can do for you.
The only thing I can do by myself is cry. From my first second in the world.
And then I learned to laugh at them,
Afterwards they taught me everything,
because they never did me any harm.
the people I learned to call my father and mother.
They said:
But from the beginning on I could cry.
– Hello!
By myself.
And I said:
And that is the best thing to do,
– Krr.
48 | Bouke Oldenhof ~ The Netherlands
I learned to call them Mum and Dad.
Everybody knows what you’re going to say.
They taught me to say:
Nobody listens, nobody cares.
– Good morning.
Unless you don’t say these words.
– Good afternoon.
Then they start a long lesson with you,
– How are you?
that is what parents are for.
– I’m fine, thank you.
And it allways ends up that you do
And they taught me the rules of the adults.
what the adults want you to do.
– Shake hands and say who you are.
Grown-ups are so predictable.
– Hello. I’m myself. – No, say your name. When you give something to someone, you say: – There you are. And the other one says: – Thank you. And then the first one says:
– Thank you, grandma, for my tea, why does grandfather drink a beer? – Thank you auntie for your present. It is the same present you gave me last year. – Thank you mister teacher, thank you for your sermons.
– Never mind. It is very easy when you know it.
Actually, there’s one good thing about parents:
It is nice doing it once you learned it.
they don’t ask you to say:
It is boring when you’ve done it hundreds of times.
– Thank you, Mummy and Daddy
Thank You | 49
everytime they do something for you.
why shouldn’t they when they’re old?
– Thank you for my allowance.
I can’t think of doing so much for anyone.
– Thank you for the food.
I would never ever have a child.
– Thank you for washing my clothes.
My Providence. Crying, nappies, cooking.
Imagine you should have to thank them all the time.
Maybe just for one day,
But when I think about doing in return to them
I don’t understand why my parents wanted me.
as much as they did to me, it frightens me.
I guess I was nice when I was a baby.
When they are old and helpless.
But now I’m a bit older
– Mummy, open your mouth, I’ll feed you.
and I know a bit more what I want.
– Daddy, don’t you think you need a another dry nappy?
I don’t think I’m a nice child at home.
And still, it woudn’t be that much
I don’t want to be one either.
as they did for me in all those years.
I want to know what I do myself,
so that I know that I really don’t want that.
I don’t want to think of it.
and not just obey orders.
The thought of their old bodies.
– Do you homework.
The waddling of their skins.
– Clean up the mess.
And they stink of course.
It’s okay that they want me to do that and I don’t mind doing it,
I did when I was young,
because we’re living together in one house.
50 | Bouke Oldenhof ~ The Netherlands
But I can think of it myself.
I can choose my clothes better by myself.
I want to do it in my own time.
I just need money,
And in my own way. Sounds normal to me.
but that is normal, when you are a student or a pupil.
I don’t ask my parents if they still would have had me if they had known their child was going to be me.
Maybe I shoud say:
If they had known how much work a child is,
– Thank you, Mum.
and how long having a child lasts.
– Thank you, Dad.
And I don’t think about a reason
Then they know it is my work they’re doing.
for not asking them that.
Then they realise they don’t have to do it, They understand I want to do things myself.
My father and mother are still okay,
I can do things for them as well.
they ’re parents.
– Can I bake a cake?
But they do not have to do all those things for me.
– Shall I clean the car?
I can manage myself.
– Let me do the dishes.
I can wake up in the morning.
Don’t get mixed up with my life,
I can make my bread.
leave me alone. Leave me alone.
I can lay the table. I can do some cooking.
I don’t want to make war at home.
Thank You | 51
They’re doing everything for the best.
There’s no need for doing them anymore.
For my best.
Yet, this is what I really want to say,
– Thank you Dad for taking me to school.
when you as grown ups are doing things
– Thank you Mum for fixing my pants.
for other independant people like me:
– Thank you for your attention
– Thank you, Mummy.
when I’m talking about school.
– Thank you Dad.
– Thank you for the good meal. – And please, watch the television program
© www.theaterstueckverlag.de
you want to see, but don’always ask me first.
Born in 1957, he wrote his first play in 1991, Rolbrug, about two people in his neighbourhood who after 30
Don’t go on making compliments to me.
years of attraction and refusal, accepted their fate and
I don’t need compliments.
started a relationship. The production was nominated for
That is: not from you.
the Proscenium play. A couple of chamber plays followed,
Because I’m my own boss,
e.g. Kooibos (1997), Hanebuurt (1997), Lette Ropping
I’m the captain of what I call myself.
(2005). The main characters of Oldenhof’s plays are
I’m looking for my destination.
unimportant people striving to make something more of their life.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you.
In 1995 the play about the famous Dutch football player Abe Lenstra in the foot-
It is nice you did those things for me.
ball stadium of Heerenveen attracted attention from Germany to New York. More
than 500 actors, football players, musicians, singers and dancers played; for an audience up to 10.000 people in the stadium. Thanks to the success of this play Bouke Oldenhof was often asked for texts for big scale productions, such as De engel en de duizend doden (1997), De Heeren van het Veen (2006) and Kinderzegen (2009). Oldenhof wrote some 15 plays for children and young people, played by groups as De Citadel, Laagland and the theater in Frisian language Tryater. In ‘Niemand spaart mensen’ (1994) a boy analyzing machinery and a girl laying (beschwören) objects from nature astonish each other and finally change roles. It is an example of amazement, which is the base of his plays for young children, A good example of Oldenhof’s plays for teenagers is Medusa (1999). Medusa is the mythical character with the ugly face, who kills everybody she looks at. When she falls in love with Perseus she asks him to kill her, because they’re happy about being in love, but they know the love won’t last when they can’t see each other. The play was awarded the Hans Snoekprijs 2000. Recently Oldenhof adapted Antigone (2008) and Czechovs Seagull (2009) for the Theatre De Citadel. After a career teaching and developing curricula mother tongue and dramaturgy, Oldenhof has been a full-time playwright since 1999. He is the father of three daughters, and lives in an old farmhouse and pub in the Frisian country side.
What Happens During the Break | 53
Anna Papst ~ Switzerland
What Happens During the Break Different characters can be played by the same people. To play the
bage bin. As she doesn’t find one, she puts the salami and the tissue in
scenes it needs at least 5 persons: 2 boys, 2 girls and 1 teacher.
a corner. She takes one half of the sandwich, that is now basically bread and eats it. She puts the other half back in her lunchbox. She sucks
An empty classroom.
in her belly, puts her hands around her waist, in a way that the fingers from her left hand and the fingers from her right hand almost touch. She smiles, contentedly. She leaves the room.
1. A girl enters the room. She sits down. She takes out a lunchbox from a bag. She opens the lunchbox. She takes out a salami sandwich. She
2.
places the sandwich in front of her. She takes off the upper half of the
A boy enters the room. He’s out of breath, looking for a place to hide.
sandwich and places it next to the bottom half. She takes the salami off
He can not find one. He hears footsteps. He panics and goes to the very
the sandwich. Then she takes a tissue and scrapes off the butter from
back of the room. He lies down on the floor and covers himself up with
the sandwich. She takes the tissue and the salami and looks for a gar-
other childrens’ schoolbags. Another boy stands in the door. His eyes
54 | Anna Papst ~ Switzerland
wander through the room. He turns his head. “He’s not in here”, he
4.
shouts down the hall, where, apparently, his accomplices are waiting.
A boy and a girl enter the room. They look to see if anyone is there. They
Then he turns around and leaves. The boy under the schoolbags waits.
close the door. They are giggling with excitement. They lean at the door
Then he slowly gets up. Suddenly, there are steps again, coming closer
to make sure it stays closed and make out.
to the room. The boy becomes frightened and hides under the school bags again.
5. The boy underneath the schoolbags is sneezing. The boy and the girl,
3.
leaning at the door, kissing, are startled and look around to see where
A teacher enters the room. He/She sits down and puts his/her feet on the
the sneezing is coming from. The boy underneath the schoolbags
table. He/she wants to relax, closes his/her eyes and sighs. All of a sud-
sneezes a second time. The couple finds him. They yell at him, “what
den, his/her cell phone rings. It’s his/her mother who keeps asking him/
are you doing here, you freak” the girl says. They make him promise not
her about his/her unsuccessful love life. The teacher tries to change the
to tell. He swears not to tell anybody. “Thank you”, says the girl, kisses
subject, but the mother keeps on asking and making suggestions. The
him on the cheek, laughs and runs away with her boyfriend. The boy is
teacher is not able to react against his/her mother. He/she gives in to
left alone in the room. He touches his cheek, where she kissed him. He
whatever the mother suggests. When he/she hangs up the phone, he/she
smiles. He leaves the room.
is completely exhausted. He/She leaves the room.
What Happens During the Break | 55 6.
8.
Another boy enters the room. He writes a message on the blackboard. He
The teacher enters. He looks at the two girls. He asks them, why they
looks at it. Then, as if he isn’t sure anymore, he takes the sponge and
are in the classroom already, reminds them that they are supposed to go
wipes the message off. He leaves the room.
outside during the break. They shrug their shoulders. One girl says, that the whole room smells like salami. The teacher sniffs. He/she smells it, too. He/She looks, where the smell is coming from. When he/she finds
7.
the salami in the corner, he/she shakes his/her head. His/her phone is
Two girls enter the room. They’re studying for today’s test. Girl1 is coach-
ringing again. The two girls look at the teacher, but he/she doesn’t want
ing girl2 through the vocabulary, which they should learn for that day.
to pick it up. Instead he/she opens a window and throws the salami out
Obviously, girl2 isn’t very well prepared. She can hardly translate any of
of the window. The girls stare at him/her in disbelief. Then, noticing that
the words correctly. Girl1 is eager to help girl2 but girl2 tells her, that
he/she has done something completely unusual, he/she starts to laugh.
there’s no use, as she is too stupid for school anyway. She stares at the
The girls soon laugh, too. The bell rings.
wall. She is close to crying. Girl1 draws closer to girl2 and wraps the arm around her. Girl1 takes out a pen. Girl1 takes the arm of girl2 and writes something on it. Then girl1 covers up gir2’s arm with her sleeve. They squeeze each other’s hand, knowing they are allies forever.
© www.junges.schauspielhaus.ch
Anna Pabst In general, when three independent and headstrong authors are asked to write a play together, it’s a difficult and challenging plan. Each author has his own style of writing. His own ideas about what’s a good play and what’s not, his own preferences for stories and characters. His own thoughts on what should be written about right now and on what should be written about because he always wanted to. Because of this I was surprised how open-minded and generously my co-authors treated both my text and their own. And I was especially surprised that, at the point when I thought the three parts had developed in unrelated directions, to find that they were still pieces from the same play, the texts were changed and moved in a defining way. Now, more than ever, they appear as a collaborative piece of work to me. Indeed we never fiddled around with each others texts, but through the constant reading and discussing of each new line, a collaborative reflection on our writing emerged. I can see this collaborative way of thinking in every scene of our play.
| 57
58 | Ákos Németh ~ Hungary
Ákos Németh ~ Hungary
The Purse ANETT, nine years old
BERNI: So then, which ones belong to the Milky Way? The dim ones?
BERNI, also nine TOMI, twelve
ANETT: Where’s your family going for vacation? TOMI: What is their actual distribution in space, and from what van-
TOMI: And how are the stars distributed throughout the galaxy? Let’s
tage point are we seeing them if that’s how we see the Milky Way? What
look up at the sky on a clear winter night. What we see is that there are
was your question?
few very bright stars, and those are haphazardly scattered about. Aside from those, there are also dimmer stars, and then stars so dim that sci-
ANETT: I asked where your family’s going for vacation.
entists can only observe them through telescopes. Those flow together in a faintly glimmering band. That’s what we call the Milky Way. ANETT: This is boring, Tomi.
BERNI: So what is that Milky Way thing again?
The Purse | 59
TOMI: Stop distracting me. I’ve already told you three times what the
TOMI: What do you mean not very clearly? I’m not clear? You’re very
Milky Way is.
wrong about that. They’re there, only you can’t see them.
ANETT: We’re going to Crete.
ANETT: No they aren’t there! Look up at the sky, smart aleck! Where are your famous stars? Where? Nowhere, that’s where.
TOMI: I have no idea where we’re going, not the foggiest idea, but in any case I don’t care. Wherever it is, dad’ll be yelling from the steering wheel the whole way there.
TOMI: They’re there, all right, they are. Only they can’t be seen because of the sun. And don’t distract me all the time. I don’t know where we’re going for the vacation, because it’s only May. I’d rather
BERNI: You didn’t tell us three times what the Milky Way is. You didn’t, you’re very wrong about that. You only told us twice.
not go anywhere, because dad’ll be worrying about the company, about losing orders because he left the place in the hands of a bunch of idiots, and he’ll want to get back so he can take control, and mom’ll be crying.
TOMI: Then pay closer attention.
Where would we go anyway? To Croatia, that’s where we always go. As for you, I’ve already told you what the Milky Way is three times.
BERNI: I am paying attention. That’s how I know you only told us twice. And not very clearly at that. ANETT: It was boring enough the first time. And there aren’t any stars now anyhow.
ANETT: And where’s your family going, Berni?
60 | Ákos Németh ~ Hungary
TOMI: We already know the answer to the previous question. The stars
TOMI: The starting point for astronomers was that the Milky Way is
are mainly to be found in a flat disk… They flow together forming the
longer in the southern celestial hemisphere than in the northern, con-
Milky Way.
sequently…
ANETT: And where’s your family going, Berni?
ANETT: How can you be so dumb-ass poor? Why doesn’t your father work?
TOMI (desperately): How is it that we can’t perceive this, that all we can see is a narrow band? Well, how?
BERNI: He works.
ANETT: In other words you’re not going anywhere.
ANETT: On and off.
TOMI: This is exactly what proves that we live within the galactic disk
BERNI: And you’re divorced.
of the Milky Way. In the disk itself! ANETT: That’s not the same thing. We’re divorced, but there’s a new ANETT: You’re going to rot at home all summer.
wife on the horizon.
BERNI: I don’t get this disk thing.
BERNI: She’s just a girlfriend. Your father has a girlfriend. Marriage is marriage.
The Purse | 61
ANETT: We’ll marry her. We’ll marry her if that’s what we want. It’ll be
TOMI: We’re not at the sun’s path yet! We’re not there yet! We’re at the
a nice wedding, take it from me. In the Matthias Church!
Milky Way, for heaven’s sake!
TOMI: The Milky Way…
ANETT: Your father says that.
ANETT: Shut up about your stupid Milky Way, Tomi!
BERNI: You just leave his father out of this, okay? Lay off his father!
BERNI: At least I have a mother. I have one, and she lives with us too.
ANETT: Oh, gimme a break! All I said was, his father says that. He
And I’ll be going home to her from here.
says: for heaven’s sake. His father does, when they come over to our place. His father says: for heaven’s sake, get a move on, sweetheart, for
TOMI: In any case, we didn’t skip school so I could show you that the
heaven’s sake! His father says that to his mother, you idiot! That’s all
sun’s path through the meridian…
I said!
ANETT: I don’t give a shit about the sun’s path through the meridian,
BERNI: Because you can’t stand him showing me the Milky Way.
Tomi! The reason I’m skipping school is because I hate drawing class. ANETT: I don’t give a shit about the Milky Way. Who gives a shit about BERNI: No. You came with us because Tomi wanted to show me the
that? The Milky Way can kiss my ass, along with that disk.
sun’s path through the meridian. And you couldn’t stand not being the one he shows something to!
BERNI: You can’t stand it when there’s something you’re not in on.
62 | Ákos Németh ~ Hungary
TOMI: The Milky Way isn’t even visible now! If we assume that…
TOMI: It not my Milky Way. I don’t have a Milky Way!
ANETT (to Tomi): Shut up! You show me the Milky Way when I say so,
ANETT: Well, of course you don’t, that’s exactly the point. Not even
whether it’s day or night. Until then, chill. Together with the Milky Way.
one rotten Milky Way. You can’t even show me a single one. Attila, he
Chill for chrissake.
could show me two.
BERNI: I don’t even want to go to Crete.
BERNI: I’m heading home.
ANETT: You’re not going anywhere. That’s the point, not anywhere.
ANETT: Go ahead an’ head home, for all I care.
That’s how degenerate your father is. Okay, where’s that Milky Way, Tomi? Let’s have it!
BERNI: And don’t go crying to me about your mother not answering the phone. Douse yourself with the stupid perfume she left behind.
TOMI: The Milky Way, the Milky Way… well, it’s not… it’s not visible now.
ANETT: What? You hear this?
ANETT: It must be visible, only you’re such a loser. You two go ahead
BERNI (picks up something from the ground): What’s this? What the
and goof off, I don’t care. I’m going to ballet class. Goof off with your
hell’s this?
stupid Milky Way. A normal boy would be able to show me the Milky Way, but you’re just lame. Just right for Berni.
The Purse | 63
ANETT: I don’t use perfume! I don’t use makeup! I’m nine years old,
ANETT: You mean it’s not mine?
how would I be using perfume? Since when does a nine-year-old use perfume? Since when?
BERNI: It’s not yours. Yours is right there.
BERNI: This is… this is a purse.
TOMI: It’s a purse.
ANETT: Shiseido perfume, at most. But my mother’s? No way.
BERNI: A purse.
TOMI: That’s what it looks like.
ANETT: I kicked it out of the ground, out of the sand. While you two were gazing at the sky. You don’t even notice what’s under your feet.
BERNI: That’s what it looks like. BERNI: Then why was I the one who picked it up? ANETT: Well now. We found a purse? ANETT: All you did was slip it out from under my foot! BERNI: I found it. BERNI: That’s right. I’m the one who slipped it out. I am. ANETT: What d’you mean? TOMI: Shouldn’t we see what’s inside? BERNI: It’s none of your business.
64 | Ákos Németh ~ Hungary
ANETT: Not a bad idea. ANETT: No, not so much. TOMI: Actually, it is a bad idea. Let’s give it to a grownup. BERNI: It is too, that’s a lot of money. ANETT: Gimme! ANETT: And it can’t be divided by three. BERNI: Give it back! TOMI: Cut it out! Quit squabbling. We found it together. Let’s see
TOMI: Everything can be divided by three.
what’s inside. Although, it might be better if… BERNI: So what does it come to, Tomi? ANETT: I’m opening it. TOMI: I don’t want to split it up. (They look inside. Pause.) ANETT: Then what d’you want? BERNI: Bingo. TOMI: Isn’t it clear? ANETT: I’m counting it. (She counts silently.) BERNI: Not to me. BERNI: That’s a lot.
The Purse | 65
TOMI: We have to give it to somebody.
BERNI: Then so will I.
ANETT: Who?
ANETT: What do I care? Then I will too. It’s better all in one place. And I’m in charge of that one place.
TOMI: The police. BERNI: What now? ANETT: He’s gone soft in the head. ANETT: What d’you think? Let’s go buy something. BERNI: That’s for sure. Are you stupid, Tomi? TOMI: I don’t need anything. TOMI: I… ANETT: You’re coming with us, enough talk. We’ll buy something nice. BERNI: Enough talk. Split it three ways. BERNI: I found it, I did! All by myself! I did, I did, I did! (End.) ANETT: It’s not divisible. TOMI: Oh, God. (He reluctantly divides it into three, then suddenly puts one part back in the purse.) I’m putting my share back.
Translation Eugene Brogyányi. © www.kolibriszinhaz.hu
Ákos Németh (*1964, Székesfehérvár) Playwright and freelancer, he has been the Hungarian curator of ‘Bonner New Plays from Europe Festival’ since 2002 (he has been calling himself a Wiesbadener since 2004). He has written nine plays, some of which have been published in German, Bulgarian, Croatian, Slovakian and in English. His plays were put on stage in many Hungarian theatres and Universities where Drama is taught. Some of his plays were adapted for audiodrama or tv-films. The play ‘Müller’s Dancers’ was his first professional success, staged by Katona József Theater, Budapest in 1992. The performance was presented in the festival of European Theater Union. His works were also performed in German, French, Croatian and English theaters. The Deutschland Radio in Berlin, the Bulgarian and Croatian National Radios broadcasted his audio-dramas. The performances were invited to several festivals e.g. Convention Théatrale Européenne (Luxembourg), International Young Playrwights’ Festival, (Birmingham) etc. His comedy ‘Car Thiefs’ was presented in the National Theater in London in the scope of a rehearsed reading and The Rep Theater in Birmingham also presented it. Some of his plays have been produced in Germany for instance a one-act play in Schaubühne Berlin. His texts have been honoured with numerous awards.
Before the Journey | 67
Giuditta Mingucci ~ Italy
Before the Journey Characters:
Barely visible, an arm emerges from under the blanket, and with a sharp
ALE high school student (a boy)
blow turns off the alarm.
An adult outside of the room
Pause.
The scene is in Ale’s bedroom.
With a sudden gesture, the sleeping beauty stands sitting and switches on the light; he looks still stunned. He turns to the right, puts his feet on
In the half light, the outlines of a single bedroom: against the left wall,
the little carpet and stays there for a moment scratching his head. Then
a wardrobe; against the right wall, a bookcase and the door; against the
with a torsion he stretches himself to switch on the stereo on the left
back wall, a chest of drawers, the headboard with the two beside tables
table. Nice music, inviting energy without too much pressure.
and the bed, stretching out in the centre of the room and occupied by somebody that is lying beneath the blankets.
He stands up; he is wearing boxer shorts and vest. Ale.
A light and regular breathing.
He goes to the wardrobe, opens it and starts looking inside. He chooses
On the left beside table, an alarm clock starts ringing violently.
a pair of jeans and tosses them on the bed. Then he adds a belt and two
68 | Giuditta Mingucci ~ Italy
sweatshirts. Another sweatshirt. Black trousers. He starts rummaging in
thing, he reaches out the arm to grasp it better and pulls out a pair of
the wardrobe, looking for something; he moves aside clothes, stoops to
socks rolled up in a ball. He looks at them suspiciously, smells them,
take a look down, opens another door, moves a bundle of ironed sheets,
is disgusted, hesitates a second and then throws them back where he
but he can’t find what he’s looking for. He turns round. Here it is. The
found them – maybe further. Then he puts also his head under the bed;
hooded red sweatshirt is hanging by the bookcase; he goes and gets it,
he re-emerges with a pair of fluorescent green mules that should have
and tosses it in the heap on the bed.
seen better times. He puts them aside and goes on with his search, slip-
He’s going back to the wardrobe, but a thought restrains him: he stops
ping under the bed with his whole chest.
for a moment to stretch the sheet under the little mountain of clothes.
He comes out from there with a dusty box and a satisfied expression. He
The result of this arrangement is not very brilliant, but it seems to be
brushes the box with a hem of the sheet, he opens it to check the con-
ok for him.
tents and smiles. He closes the box. He stands up and puts the box on
He goes back to his work at the wardrobe and piles up other garments
the bed. He looks at it; he can’t resist and opens it again.
on the bed. Then he goes to the chest of drawers and takes some clothes
He pulls out of it a very stylish suit. He gazes at it, and then, carried
and underwear from it, but also other kind of things, like beauty case
away by enthusiasm, he puts it on. He comes to the audience’s side
and such things.
looking at himself in a mirror, he moves to check how it fits, and says goodbye to his reflected image with a gesture, as to say: “I’m keeping an
A thought comes to him, and he goes back to the wardrobe: he’s again
eye on you, guy”. Then he takes the suit off and puts it as scrupulously
looking for something he can’t find, he stands doubtful, then as for an
as possible in the box that ends up on the top of the heap.
illumination he passes to the right side of the bed and bends down. He
At this point he goes rummaging in the right beside table, where he finds
puts a hand under the bed and searches for something; he finds some-
a plastic bag in which he puts the mules he had put aside before, and
Before the Journey | 69
adds also them to the mound. From the bookcase, he takes some little
He starts searching. One in his right hand, one in his left hand, a salmon
volumes, then he looks like he’s finished; only one thing is still missing.
pink polo shirt and a “HardRockCafé–Berlin” t-shirt emerge from the
He goes looking for it on the top of the wardrobe: a few jumps to reach
mountain; the polo flies left, the t-shirt in the suitcase (more or less).
an objects that’s a little too far, but already visible, and here the suitcase
His work goes on: one thing to the left, another thing in the suitcase –
is coming out. It is nearly falling on Ale’s head – quick salvage.
and so on. The Real Madrid scarf stops directly on Ale’s neck, without
He opens the suitcase – that’s visibly too small, in comparison with the
any further selection; then the toothbrush goes left and razor and shav-
heap – and puts it at the end of the bed, in front of the mound of clothes
ing lather go into the suitcase. Then Ale is about to check the size of a
and objects. He starts diligently moving the stuff from over the sheet
sweatshirt, putting it on his chest and measuring the sleeves’ lenght; but
into the suitcase, creating a new mountain. At the end, he notices that
the hood, falling forward, makes it difficult. Ale tries to throw it on his
closing it will be a problem; but he thinks about it just for a second, then
shoulder, but it doesn’t work; so he holds it in his mouth. The impres-
starts fighting with the suitcase and the mountain.
sion is that the sleeves are a little too long for his arms…
He suddenly stops and fishes a pair of baggy pants from the heap, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, then a pair of socks; and puts them on. He goes
From outside, the voice of an adult: “Ale! Are you awake?”
back to the suitcase and tries to close it, but the sorting he’s done is not enough and the fight starts again.
Ale, his mouth busy with the hood, answers with a sort of grunt. Then
In a last desperate attempt of violence, he slides from the bed.
he spits in the hood and places the big sweatshirt in the discards area.
From the floor, he looks at the suitcase with hatred, but he resigns him-
A few items left, and the mound is smaller.
self. He pours the contents of the suitcase on the bed, puts it on the
Then Ale takes the suitcase with all its contents, moves it to the bed, he
floor on the right side and then seats on the bed like on horseback.
sets the things to make the clutter as small as possible. He is about to
70 | Giuditta Mingucci ~ Italy
close it the suitcase. It is nearly closing up; but one needs to work on it.
Ale sighs, annoyed; and the Batman’s boxer shorts and Donald Duck’s
Actually it is not closing but Ale persists. As he is there pushing – almost
tie pass from the suitcase to the mound on the left. From the heap on
jumping – on the suitcase, he notices that the bed is also moving with
the bed, razor and shaving lather emerge; Ale is about to throw them in
it. He stops pushing, and thinks for a moment. He moves the suitcase
the suitcase, but he stops. From where he is sitting, he leans out to the
to the floor, and starts again.
mirror, to take a look to the state of his chin; then he throws razor and
But there’s nothing to do, it doesn’t close. He takes a deep breath in
shaving lather to the left. After them, gone also a pair of red jeans. At
order not to get angry, dries his brow with the Real’s scarf, then he takes
this point the Stylish Suit’s Box emerges. Smile. Ale puts it beside the
it out on it and testily removes it from his neck. And also the scarf ends
suitcase with a special accuracy. Then he is about to seat again, but he
up on the other side of the bed.
can’t resist: he takes off his clothes, puts the suit on, and looks again at
He stands up, empties the suitcase on the bed, throws the suitcase on
himself in the mirror, in different attitudes.
the right again and starts the sorting again. He discards the sweatshirt with Bob Marley and two pairs of socks, while
From outside, the usual voice: “Ale! You’re going to be late.”
a green grey pullover passes the selection. And the work goes on like this,
Ale takes a look to the clock on the left table: later than he thought. Tak-
fast. Suddenly, hesitation: what about the Batman’s boxer shorts? A cou-
ing quickly off his clothes, he speeds up the work: and number one, two,
ple of thoughts, then yes, the boxer shorts go into the suitcase, followed
three, four pairs of socks end up in the suitcase in a flash. Of what is still
in a flash by a tie with Donald Duck embroidered on it.
on the bed, he only chooses two t-shirts. And a striped jumper. A last thought, accompanied by a hand on his chin for more concentration...
From outside, the adult’s voice: “Ale! How many things are you putting in the suitcase?”
but the hand distracts him instead, noticing something unexpected, on
Before the Journey | 71
that chin – and razor and shaving lather go back to the suitcase, accom-
Giuditta Mingucci
panied by a dance of joy. Ale arranges everything in it, takes the jumper away, and he can finally
Born in Rimini, she graduated with honours in Classical
close it. He looks triumphantly at the suitcase and puts the jumper and
Literature at the University of Bologna. She has worked
then a pair of shoes on with affected self-possession.
professionally as an actress since 1997 and in 2000 she
Then he looks again at the suitcase, a little less self-confident.
joined Elsinor Teatro Stabile di Innovazione. Her play
The voice from outside: “Ale! Time to go!”
actress and theatre pedagogue.
writing activity began on the stage, as part of her work of
Since June 2012 she is the Artistic Director of the Tea-
Ale leaves his thoughts, he takes the suitcase and is about to go out, but he immediately stops. He steps over the bed and turns off the radio. He turns to go leave by going around the bed, he finds the heap of discarded things in front of himself; with a shrug, he recovers the toothbrush and puts it in his pocket. Last look at the mirror: he goes. Ale (going out) I’m ready!
© www.elsinor.net
tro Testori, in Forlì.
72 | Péter Horváth ~ Hungary
Péter Horváth ~ Hungary
Black Stone Persons:
sical music and imagining things. What happened if I would meet an
NOSEY – a 12 year old boy from Hungary
alien creature, what should we do against the world-ending, or what my
MICKEY – a 13 year old boy from Bulgaria
father said if he would know my secret ideas… But I was happy to get a
GIRL – 14 year old girl from Italy or Spain
room-mate like Mickey. He seemed to be older than me, he was smart, tidy and how do I say this… I liked him in a way… I always wanted
NOSEY I’ve got a problem. May I talk about it? Everybody has a story.
to have had an elder brother, but… So, I spent all my time with him
I also have one. It happened two months ago, at the first disco-night in
together – till that night. − He knew a lot of interesting things about
the camp where I spent my holiday. We came there from several coun-
the stars and the black holes which lurk in the darkness of Space. The
tries. I’m from Hungary, Mickey’s from Bulgaria, and she was from Italy
biggest one is going round in the middle of the galaxy. The largest tel-
or Spain, I don’t know. I shared my room with Mickey from the morn-
escopes are not able to see it, but the scientists know that it must be
ing we had arrived. To be honest he chose to share the room with me,
there. All stars are circling around it. − That night we went to the gar-
because the room I occupied was the best one, with two large windows
den together where the disco was starting. I’m not keen on the disco
facing the lake. I usually prefer to be alone, listening to my favorite clas-
where the stupid girls are shaking themselves, not interested in any seri-
Black Stone | 73
ous things, but Mickey asked me to keep his company… As he talked
NOSEY She is nice… – I replied wanting to continue my speech, but
he just wanted to have a look around to have a laugh at the crazy danc-
he didn’t listen to me at all, just stared at her with an idiotic smile on
ers… − Sorry for my English. I used to use it when nobody listened to
his face.
me. Can you understand my speech? Ok. − As I said, I felt him to be my friend, my first friend in the world, so I went with him to the disco-
MICKEY Go up to her!
garden. I was talking about my dream of future, when a meteorite will collide with the Earth and a new ice-age will be starting, when suddenly
NOSEY Pardon?
he interrupted my speech. MICKEY Go up to her to tell that I want to dance with her. MICKEY Good skin! NOSEY I was deeply surprised. He never talked about girls. Instead NOSEY What? – I didn’t know what he was talking about.
of it, we often had a conversation about the future-world where all the babies will be borne from en enormous incubator without any parents.
MICKEY I like her.
We agreed that it would be a nice world, because if there are no parents, they don’t have any reason to be arguing all the time. So I didn’t
NOSEY He pointed to a girl who was standing alone under a tree not
understand his sudden interest. Why don’t you go if you want it so bad?
far from us.
I asked him.
MICKEY What you think?
MICKEY Because of my English. Your one is much better.
74 | Péter Horváth ~ Hungary
NOSEY It’s not true. I always understand your ideas and feelings well.
GIRL (laughing) Wants me?!
Remember? Yesterday you didn’t want to say a word about your mother, but I guessed what you thought.
NOSEY I’m sent by my friend over there. Can you see him? His name is Mickey. He would like to dance with you.
MICKEY Because you’re my friend. GIRL And you? How about you? NOSEY Yes, I am. NOSEY I’m just a post-man. He is better than me. MICKEY Ok, that is why I ask you now to do me this little favor. Please, tell her some words about me.
GIRL Better in what?
NOSEY The girl had long, blond hair, enormous blue eyes and a thick,
NOSEY He is taller, stronger and more clever. Only his English not so
disgusting mouth. I could see that she imagined herself to be as beauti-
good. That is why he asked me to come to you.
ful as nobody was brave enough to ask her to dance. I went to her. − Hi! GIRL He doesn’t interest me. But if you want, I can dance with you. GIRL What you want? NOSEY I have never danced before. But I thought I had to try if I NOSEY Nothing. I mean it’s not me who wants you.
wanted to be successful. I started to shake my body. Everybody stared
Black Stone | 75
at us. The boys envied me. My friend also looked our dance. I could see
I saw that all faces were turning to me. Mickey had a look around and
his eyes. I said pardon to the girl, and ran back to him.
stepped back.
MICKEY You’ re a bastard. You wanted to take her out!
MICKEY Why are you kneeling? Are you gay?
NOSEY No, I didn’t!
NOSEY Everybody was laughing. The girl’s voice was the loudest. I felt it like some knife on my ears. I stood up somehow and ran away. I went
MICKEY I saw!
down to the lake-shore. It was night. The stars were shining on the mirror of the water. The scientists say that there is a giant, black meteor
NOSEY I don’t like her. I swear! I like you. – It wasn’t enough. His face
among the stars, rocketing toward the Earth, it will be arriving in the year
became darker.
twenty-twenty-six. How could I stand living till then?
MICKEY You are a liar. Translated by Eugene Brogyányi. © www.kolibriszinhaz.hu
NOSEY I would never lie to you! − He wanted to leave me alone. − Don’t go away! Mickey! Please! – I tried to catch his arm but I stumbled, and fell to my knees. The music ended in that moment, so everybody could hear my words: − I love you! – The silence was frightening.
Peter Horváth
Born 1951 in Budapest. His parents worked in theatre, so he grew up in several towns depending on his parents’ actual workplace. This constant moving around made him an aloof and timid toddler. Because of his interest in the arts he qualified as a printer and, in 1969, he was admitted to the University of Theatre, Film and Television from which he graduated as an actor. After the publication of his first book, he started to work as a freelance writer, but often did directing jobs as well. He was the artistic director of Vörösmarty Theatre in Székesfehérvár for two years, in that time he also directed movies. Eleven books were published as well as short stories and novels. His writings are regularly published in literary journals and periodicals; he has written dramas, scripts, audio-dramas and also plays for children. Some of his plays are in the repertoire of Hungarian theatres. Most of the writings are about loneliness in the family and the joys of work and love. In 1991 Peter won the award in the Morishige Festival (Tokyo) for the best script and received summa cum laude master-degree as a Doctor of Liberal Arts in 2004. He lives in Szeged and teaches creative and script writing at the University of Szeged. He has four children.
I Have a Right to be a Star of My own Life | 77
Kristiina Jalasto ~ Estonia
I Have a Right to be a Star of My own Life Ideas for the final PLATFORM 11+ Production in cooperation with 8th grade students from Tallinn Old Town Educational College
1. YouTube A short play which starts with a band of four members rehearsing. They
Next rehearsal, the band is gathering. The members talk excitedly about
are having difficult time, but are dedicated and eager to get better. The
the number of clicks on their rehearsal video. The singer is the last one
song is catchy, with simple words and melody. The singer sets up a
to arrive and when s/he does, s/he reveals that the band has had an invi-
phone or a small camera to film the rehearsal and promises to load it
tation to perform at a big party. They’re really happy and excited.
onto Youtube later that day so the band can learn from it. An interim-scene in which audio can be used – for example a lot of peoAn interim-scene in which video can be used, showing a lot of people watching the clip and clicking on Youtube. * in cooperation with 8th grade students from Tallinn Old Town Educational College
ple talking about the band or the sound of people gathering.
78 | Kristiina Jalasto ~ Estonia
The performance which goes really well – can be just a musical number
The missing member finally meets his/her band mates on the street, but
and the audience is the audience of the concert (with some extra clap-
s/he’s distracted and not in the mood for the rehearsal. S/he says that s/
ping from the speakers, maybe).
he has to meet someone and doesn’t have time to rehearse. The others cannot believe him/her as they really need to get better. They contradict
An interim-scene in which visual art can be used – it should be crazy
him/her with questions and s/he finally reveals that s/he has a boyfriend/
enough to represent either the party after the concert or dreams that the
girlfriend who is more important than the band now.
members of the band might have – something dreamlike. The final scene in which youtube clips are shown: these are confessions The first rehearsal after the show. Three of the members are already
of the remaining band members in which they explain why their last
there, tired but very happy. They are already talking about new offers for
concert had to be cancelled and why are they looking for a new mem-
more performances.
ber. They might be rather angry and disappointed in the member who
One member is missing and late for the rehearsal. The others call him/
deserted them. The clips are recorded and shown in a documentary film
her, but get no answer or only a vague answer (“I am busy” or something
style (maybe on the stage where they were supposed to perform but
like that). Three members start practicing but it’s almost impossible
which is empty now?).
without the fourth. They leave, fustrated. An interim-scene where screen shots or videos from music forums can be shown. New fans of the band are waiting for another concert and are asking each other where the band has disappeared to.
I Have a Right to be a Star of My own Life | 79 2. Hidden camera/security camera
Kristiina Jalasto was born in 1985 in Tallinn, Estonia. In 2004, she graduated from theatre-specialized
This idea is for a short sequence of scenes which include the following:
high school and spent two and a half years abroad. After
• Some conflict or dangerous situation (in school) is caught on camera
that she worked as a volunteer in Brazil, UK and Mozam-
• Someone sees the tape – a security worker, teacher or someone who
bique. Currently, she is studying Dramaturgy at the Esto-
is not supposed to see it, maybe the victim him/herself?
nian Academy of Theatre and Music.
• The reaction or the outcome So far, she has written 14 plays of varying lengths, several of which have won awards in drama competitions. In 2010, her first book with four drama texts was
3. Letter to the future
published. One of her first plays ‘If I wouldn’t exist, the world would be different’
The students want to send a video report of how they live to the students
staged by a school drama group. In 2011 her play ‘Salto Mortale’ written in coop-
of the future. They introduce all kind of aspects of their lives, including
eration with Michaela Zakut’anská from Slovakia in the Platform 11+ project, was
problems and worries. It can be a film clip that is used in the beginning
staged in VAT theatre in Tallinn.
has had already two professional productions and one play, called ‘Playlife’, was
or end of the play as a prologue/epilogue or introduction to the topic of youngsters’ lives in their school.
© www.vatteater.ee
80 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
The Book of Pubertosis or
The Expulsion from Childhood 1/ New Bodies
CARL GUSTAV We’re your guides for today’s performance.
The setting is a child’s room. Adam rides in on a tricycle, followed by Eve. They have big heads in relation to their bodies. Two men in suits
SIGMUND So what are you going to see today? It’s a tragicomedy with
walk behind them. They have beards and clown noses. As they speak,
dancing in five scenes, entitled:
the children play in the background. BOTH The Book of Pubertosis, or The Expulsion from Childhood CARL GUSTAV Good evening, honourable audience! CARL GUSTAV The play is about two children from the neighbourSIGMUND Allow me to introduce us. I’m Sigmund, and this is Carl
hood. Here they are. This little boy is called Adam.
Gustav. SIGMUND And this little girl is Eve.
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 81
CARL GUSTAV For now, they are still playing innocently, because
Sigmund walks past with a sign saying EVENING. The children clean
they have no idea what Mother Nature has in store for them.
their teeth and get into bed. They talk.
SIGMUND We would like to warn the honourable audience that at cer-
EVE I wonder what it’s like being grown up. And how will we know
tain points there will be witty appearances by a puppet theatre…
when we are?
BOTH Junge Freude…
ADAM I don’t know. But I think that when it happens, someone will tell us.
CARL GUSTAV … with short plays of a highly educational content. EVE OK. Good night then. SIGMUND Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin. ADAM Good night. Adam and Eve are playing, hitting each other now and again with soft toys, building with bricks and being quite good at it.
Carl Gustav enters, dressed as Mother Nature. Behind him is Sigmund with a sign saying MOTHER NATURE. Carl Gustav has a long pole, with an apple tied to the end. He tries to wake up Adam with the apple, but
ADAM Oh, that’s lovely. EVE It’s lovely being a child.
to no avail. Then he wakes Eve. EVE Ooh, an apple! (she takes a bite) Yuck, it’s got some sort of chemical in it. Adam, do you want an apple?
82 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
ADAM (takes the apple and has a bite) Yuck. (he throws it away)
Ballet music starts to play, and the Hormones run about with secondary sexual characteristics, fixing them to the children. They get it a little
Carl Gustav and Sigmund high-five and run off. Night falls. Carl Gustav
wrong at first, but everything comes right in the end. When the music
and Sigmund enter dressed as Hormones.
finishes, Adam and Eve are in bed, so we can’t see them.
SIGMUND Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a dance.
It grows light. Adam and Eve throw off the duvets. They have normal
CARL GUSTAV It is a dance between the Hormones and the second-
clothes. They are utterly alarmed.
heads, and normal male and female bodies, but dressed in children’s ary sexual characteristics. EVE Adam! I’ve got… I haven’t got… I’ve got a different sort of body! SIGMUND At the end of it, Adam and Eve will have completely new bodies.
ADAM Me too! Sort of big… and hairy!
CARL GUSTAV In case it’s not clear, Sigmund and I represent the
EVE What’s happened?
Hormones. ADAM I don’t know. BOTH Let’s dance!
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 83
They climb out of bed and behave like puppets, staggering about, bang-
SIGMUND So that’s the first scene over.
ing into everything, falling down. They don’t know how to use their new bodies.
CARL GUSTAV The children have gone into town to discover the purpose of all this… tumultuous change.
ADAM Ooh, look, you’ve got breasts! That’s funny! SIGMUND And now it’s time for a performance by the educational EVE What are we going to do?
puppet theatre
ADAM I don’t know!
BOTH Junge Freude!
EVE We have to ask someone.
CARL GUSTAV … with its first story, How Red Riding Hood Passed Through A Hormonal Storm.
ADAM All right, we won’t go to school, we’ll go into town and ask why we’ve got these new bodies.
Sigmund and Carl Gustav perform a cheeky puppet show in which they revel in nonsense. The greater the nonsense, the greater their mischie-
EVE OK. Adam and Eve stagger off. Sigmund and Carl Gustav enter.
vous joy.
84 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
How Red Riding Hood Passed Through A Hormonal Storm One day Mother called Red Riding Hood, gave her a little basket and sent her to see her grandmother, who lived on the other side of the wood.
er’s house and her grandmother said “How you’ve grown!” and “Where are your basket and hood?” “I don’t know,” said Little Red Riding Hood. “Come in then.” And so it all ended well.
As Red Riding Hood walked through the wood, she found herself caught up in a hormonal storm. Each time the lightning struck her, she changed
CARL GUSTAV That was the first educational story, and now we’re
into something else. She was a flesh-eating plant, a bag full of brawn,
going to see what our two young people are doing.
a Chinese vase, before ending up as a giraffe. So they took her to the zoo, where Robbie Williams was giving a concert. He told her everyone
SIGMUND They seem to be wandering through the town with no idea
could be what they wanted to be, but Red Riding Hood wanted to be
what to do with their new bodies.
Robbie Williams’ boxer shorts, and that’s what she turned into. And the zoo keepers called: Don’t feed the boxer shorts, and the wind blew and carried Red Riding Hood up into the sky. There she met a bird, and the
2/ With The Lads
bird said boxers didn’t fly, and that Red Riding Hood was a balloon, and
A town. Adam and Eve are wandering the streets, asking why they have
suddenly she was indeed a balloon. But then she suddenly felt empty,
these new bodies. Carl Gustav and Sigmund act various passers-by, who
and so she fell down and met a mushroom picker who said that’s a funny
fail to respond. Finally they come to a sign saying LAD STREET. While
mushroom, and lo, Red Riding Hood was a mushroom. Then a hunter
Carl Gustav and Sigmund are changing into Lad costume, dark, jungle-
or a woodcutter or someone went by, and because he knew Red Riding
themed music plays. Then the Lads themselves arrive. They are sway-
Hood, he said hello, and then Red Riding Hood looked like Red Riding
ing creatures with their hands dangerously far apart. They carry various
Hood again, but about 30cm bigger. And she reached her grandmoth-
props, such as a whipping-boy, a table, chair and a wooden puzzle that
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 85
falls apart when it hits the ground. The Lads put down the table and
EVE Tell me instead.
began to drop the things on to it, occasionally whipping the boy. They find it very amusing. Adam and Eve enter.
LAD 2 Of course. We’re the Lads, little girl!
ADAM Good morning!
ADAM OK!
LAD 1 I’m going to punch you.
LAD 2 And who are you?
ADAM Why?
EVE We’re children. But as of today we’ve got these big new bodies.
LAD 1 I don’t know.
ADAM Would you happen to know why we have them?
ADAM Right.
The Lads laugh uncontrollably
EVE Who are you?
LAD 1 He wants to know… why we have them. Hahaha!
LAD 1 Don’t you know?
LAD 2 Hahaha! Why we have them.
LAD 2 I’m going to punch her.
LAD 1 We would happen to know. Exactly why.
86 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
ADAM Really?
LAD 1 Like this. (he performs a series of knockdowns and slaps) Let’s get going!
LAD 1 Truly. Adam and Eve throw themselves into kicking and hitting. At first they ADAM There you go, Eve!
do so with enthusiasm, but then it begins to bore them a little. However, the Lads keep encouraging them. After a while, Eve has had enough.
He and Eve begin to dance for joy. EVE And that’s… all? EVE So why do we have them, then? LAD 2 What? LAD 2 Why do we have them… ADAM Just hitting and kicking? BOTH For punching things and kicking things! LAD 1 Yes. ADAM Yippee! EVE It’s not much, is it? EVE Hurray! LAD 2 Stop talking and start kicking. ADAM How do you do that?
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 87
Adam and Eve carry on kicking and punching, but with no enthusiasm.
There follows a free-for-all in which everyone hits everyone else, but
After a while they stop.
Adam and Eve manage to steer the Lads so that they end up hitting and
ADAM We’ll be going, then.
other, and stop. Then they realise that they like it, and carry on. Music
kicking each other, and make off. The Lads realise they are hitting each starts up, and the Lads exit, kicking each other. LAD 1 Why? As the music ends, Sigmund and Carl Gustav return. EVE We’re not having that much fun. SIGMUND Hohoho, so that was the second scene, in which the chilBOTH NOT HAVING FUN? LAD 2 That’s enough. Less bullshit, more punching!
dren found out why they have new bodies, but it wasn’t enough for them! CARL GUSTAV And now it’s time for Junge Freude again and a small puppet story, this time called The Hard-Of-Hearing Prince.
LAD 1 You’ve had a chance, my dears, so make sure you use it. The Hard-Of-Hearing Prince LAD 2 Or we’ll punch you.
Once upon a time there was a kingdom, and in the kingdom there was a king and queen, and they had one son. He was a courageous youth,
EVE Adam, we’re off.
handsome and strong. He didn’t like school, but he did like training in boxing and fencing. He suffered terrible blows to the head, until he was
88 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
almost deaf. When he was eighteen he set out into the world in order to
3/ The Haulers
find a bride. He came to a kingdom that was almost overgrown by rose
This scene is set in another part of the city. There is a sign saying
briars. And so he cut them down, but by mistake he cut off the heads
HAULER SQUARE. An industrial march can be heard. The Haulers are
of all the sleeping courtiers and the princess. So he set out for another
coming. They are dressed in suits, with briefcases, and they are har-
kingdom, where Snow White was lying in a glass coffin. But when he
nessed to a yoke. Large boxes, desks and tractor tyres are tied to the
tried to open it, he cut off poor Snow White’s legs, and then her head. So
yoke with a chain. The Haulers come in from different sides, waving
he set out for a third kingdom, where he was supposed to kill a dragon.
cheerily to each other.
He cut off all its nine heads, and when the people ran up to him and clapped him on the back, he was so startled that by mistake he cut off
HAULER 1 So? Are you working? Are you working?
everyone’s heads, including that of the princess. Then he cleared his throat, startled himself and cut off his own head. And that, children, is
HAULER 2 I’m working, I’m working.
the end. HAULER 1 That’s right, that’s what’s needed. SIGMUND So you see how the world works… HAULER 2 You do. If you want to have money. CARL GUSTAV And now let’s take another look at our heroes. Third scene!
HAULER 1 That’s right. Do you have any money? HAULER 2 I do.
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 89
HAULER 1 Super.
HAULER 2 And a successful one, too, young man!
HAULER 2 And you?
ADAM That too.
HAULER 1 I do too. I work and I’ve got money, that’s what’s needed.
HAULER 1 What do you want? We don’t have time!
HAULER 2 And do you have time?
HAULER 2 Super.
HAULER 1 I don’t.
HAULER 1 Yes, super.
HAULER 2 Super!
EVE You wouldn’t happen to know why we have these bodies, would you? They’re kind of big and…
HAULER 1 Right, super! HAULER 2 Efficient! Adam and Eve enter. HAULER 1 Of course we know! Those bodies are designed for output. EVE Look, Adam. Who’s this? HAULER 2 Because those with no output have no money. ADAM I don’t know, but maybe they can help us. Good morning.
90 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
HAULER 1 But they have time.
They all drag their burdens to the other side.
ADAM Would you mind teaching us?
EVE What now?
HAULER 1 We can’t do that. But we can be a model for you.
HAULER 1 Back again. With more output.
HAULER 2 Get your yokes, then, and find some difficult tasks.
They pull. In the middle, everyone says Super. As they are dragging back, Adam says to Eve:
Adam and Eve brighten up, and run off enthusiastically to find yokes. They drag them on stage.
ADAM I’m kind of knackered.
HAULER 1 OK. Now show us some output. Like us.
EVE Me too.
HAULER 2 Super.
HAULERS OK, super!
Adam and Eve enthusiastically drag their burdens to each side of the
EVE Couldn’t we have a bit of a rest?
stage. HAULER 2 But then you’d have time. HAULER 2 And back again Super.
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 91
HAULER 1 That’s not on.
EVE Wouldn’t you like better ones?
ADAM Or we could do something else, maybe.
HAULER 1 Of course we would.
HAULER 1 Nothing else exists.
HAULER 2 Bigger output, less time. Super!
HAULER 2 Output, young people, output!
ADAM In that case Eve and I will sacrifice ourselves, and in order to increase your output we’ll become your burdens. If you like.
They keep on dragging. They meet in the middle. Taking their burdens, they climb on to the Haulers’ burdens. ADAM We have to be off now. There must be something this body is more suited to..
EVE We’re off! Giddy up!
EVE But what?
HAULER 1 Super!
They keep dragging, and sounds of Super are heard. They meet again.
HAULER 2 Excellent!
ADAM I’ve got it. Gentlemen! Are you satisfied with your outputs?
They pull as if possessed. They pull a long way, and when they come back, only Eve and Adam’s yokes are left. The Haulers see this.
92 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
HAULER 1 Oh dear, what a pity.
SIGMUND The poor things are wandering through the town again,
HAULER 2 Don’t worry, at least we’ve got this.
created for?
HAULER 1 OK, super
CARL GUSTAV In the meantime we’ll show you another story.
looking for an answer to the question: What were our lovely new bodies
HAULER 2 Super.
SIGMUND Ladies and gentlemen, the Junge Freude theatre with The Workaholic Cinderella.
HAULER 1 We’re working. We don’t have time.. The Workaholic Cinderella HAULER 2 Super.
There once lived a rich farmer’s wife, who had two daughters. She also
They haul off into the wings, and return as Sigmund and Carl Gustav.
with the farm. But Cinderella was a workaholic. Time after time her
CARL GUSTAV So, ladies and gentlemen, some lovely new tasks and
always replied that she had work to do. Cinderella was terribly fond of
had a stepdaughter, Cinderella, whom she had gained by marriage along stepmother would say to her: “Cinderella, go for a walk,” but Cinderella it’s still not enough for them.
sorting peas. Because her stepmother loved her, she always added a bit of ash to the peas. They also tried several times to get her to go to a ball in the castle. The prince himself even came up with a transparent ruse. He found out Cinderella’s shoe size, had Swarovski make a glass slip-
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 93
per and took it to the farm so that Cinderella could put it on. He had to
SIGMUND Folk literature!
leave defeated, however, because Cinderella refused to take off her work boots. Once, after her stepmother and sisters had been very insistent,
CARL GUSTAV But back to the story. There now follows the fourth
she agreed to go to the castle with them, but only in a pumpkin drawn by
scene…
mice. The prince quickly had a four micepower pumpkin made by Ferrari, and Cinderella had to go to the ball. Before leaving home, she mixed
SIGMUND … in which Adam and Eve hopefully find out…
some ash and peas, however, and the whole time she looked forward to going home and being able to sort them. She left the ball early, and
CARL GUSTAV … what their new bodies were created for.
when her stepmother returned, she found her with her father’s shotgun amid the bloody remains of some sort of fowl. “Doves” squeaked Cinder-
They attach a sign to the set saying THE PLEASURE GARDEN
ella. “They were sorting my peas.” Unfortunately the groom got mixed up in it too, and so they arrested Cinderella for murder. And because she had nothing to do in prison, she committed suicide. That’s all, children.
4/ The Hedonists The scene is set in some sort of park. Hairy animals are hopping around
CARL GUSTAV That’s a treasury!
a meadow. Adam and Eve come in, and are very surprised.
SIGMUND That’s a source!
EVE What’s this now? Look, they’ve got faces. They look just like people.
CARL GUSTAV Fairy tales!
ADAM But they’re behaving like animals.
94 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
EVE It’s sweet, though.
They realise they have mentioned a phallic symbol, look at each other and breathe heavily.
ADAM At least they know what to do with their bodies, but what about us? I’m fed up. Why can’t we be children again?
HEDONIST 2 Goodness! I nearly metamorphosed!
The hairy creatures notice Adam and Eve. They disappear, and Carl Gus-
EVE Good morning.
tav and Sigmund appear, as the Hedonists. One is a man, one a woman. They come in, and look around curiously. HEDONIST 1 Look, can you see?
HEDONIST 1 Beautiful morning. HEDONIST 2 Voluptuous morning. (they look at each other and breathe heavily again) Yes!
HEDONIST 2 Ooh yes, I can. ADAM Those animals over there… were they you? HEDONIST 1 Look, they’re just standing there. HEDONIST 1 Of course. HEDONIST 2 As if they were a tree. ADAM And what were you doing there? HEDONIST 1 Or a telegraph pole. HEDONIST 2 You don’t know? You’re big enough.
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 95
ADAM Yes, but only since this morning.
BOTH ENJOY THEM!
EVE We woke up and we had these new bodies. And we don’t know
HEDONIST 2 This body knows how to do amazing things when you
what to do with them. Why we have them.
touch it properly. Here’s a small example.
HEDONIST 1 You don’t know why you have them?
The Hedonists touch each other and it is as if lightning were passing
Heavy breathing again, and laughter. It lasts quite a long time.
about, change into animals and hop about the meadow. Then the music
through them. There is a sound of thunder and fast music. They run ends, and they return. HEDONIST 2 Well, guess what? You’ve just come across the source of all wisdom on bodies.
HEDONIST 1 There. And now you. Touch each other.
HEDONIST 1 The fount of bodily wisdom.
Adam and Eve touch each other’s bodies, there is the sound of thunder, they change into animals and hop about the meadow. Then they return.
HEDONIST 2 We’ll tell you why you have those bodies! EVE That’s amazing. ADAM AND EVE Why? ADAM It’s like when you put your fingers in a socket. But nice. HEDONIST 1 Well, of course, in order to…
96 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
HEDONIST 2 Have fun then!
HEDONIST 1 Have fun then!
They all metamorphose and jump about, then they come back and jump
HEDONIST 2 This is what your body’s for!
about, then they are Adam and Eve again, fairly out of breath. HEDONIST 1 This and nothing else! HEDONIST 2 Let’s get going then! EVE I don’t know… HEDONIST 1 No slacking! ADAM Why does it always have to end like this? Again, the sound of thunder and hopping to cheerful music. Adam and Eve are beginning to get nervous.
The Hedonists hop about again.
EVE I don’t know. I don’t even want to say…
ADAM Let’s go.
ADAM You’re not enjoying it any more..
They leave. Sigmund and Carl Gustav enter.
EVE I wouldn’t mind lying down for a bit.
SIGMUND I didn’t expect them to tire of it so quickly.
ADAM Me too.
CARL GUSTAV You always overrated it a bit, Sigmund.
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 97
SIGMUND Do you think so?
a long way. Few survived the exhaustion. Finally he thought it would be a good idea to get to know top women runners. Once there was no mara-
CARL GUSTAV I don’t think it, I see it! I see that it’s time for a story again.
thon runner to hand, though, and so he got to know a hurdle-jumper. On their first night together, however, she trod on his heart with her running spikes, and the wizard died. She ran round the rest of him, and when
SIGMUND And this one is called The Wizard Whose Heart Was Out-
she returned she was pretty angry. And that’s the end of the story.
side His Body. SIGMUND Everything in moderation in, I say. The Wizard Whose Heart Was Outside His Body There was once a wizard, and he was terribly fond of his body. He was
CARL GUSTAV It’s important to have your heart in the right place, I
always stroking it, and it made him feel good. He could even take his
say.
heart out of his body and stroke it. That made him feel very good. Only one day he found that he was doing it rather often, and that his heart
SIGMUND So how are our heroes getting on?
was getting a little worn. And so he decided to hide it in a far-off place. But time went by, and he started to do the same with his kidney. So that
CARL GUSTAV And their bodies?
had to go as well. Then, gradually, he had to get rid of his left knee, his pituitary gland, his right lung and even a part of his large intestine. Then he had peace. A little later, he decided to find a girlfriend. The problem was that whenever they had intimate relations, the girl had to run quite
SIGMUND They seem fairly despondent.
98 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
CARL GUSTAV Now I think their question might finally be answered.
Sigmund enters dressed as Mother Nature, with a sign saying MOTHER
Fifth scene.
NATURE.
They exit.
NATURE That’s easy. It’s Mother Nature’s fault. EVE Mother Nature?
5/ Elvis And Mother Nature The set features a staircase. They might look like stairs from a musical,
NATURE Of course. She gave you these new bodies. She definitely
but there are no singers or dancers. Only Adam and Eve come in, and sit
knew what she was doing.
on the steps despondently. ADAM Really? I’d like to see that. ADAM I’m fed up. I want my trike. NATURE You can always ask her. EVE And I want my dolls. I want my childhood back! ADAM Where is she? Mother Natuuuure! ADAM If I knew whose fault it was, I’d have a word with him. EVE Mother Natuuuure! EVE Me too. NATURE (laughs) But it’s me!
The Book of Pubertosis or The Expulsion from Childhood | 99
ADAM (after some hesitation) And how were we supposed to know? NATURE By the sign?
EVE Does it have to be us together, or can we choose? NATURE You can choose, but now I need you to dance together. Because this is the finale!
ADAM OK. All right, then. Mother Nature, we have one crucial question for you.
You Were Made For Loving Me by Kiss begins to play, Elvis sings, they all dance.
BOTH Why do we have these new bodies? Moving music starts to play.
Mother Nature goes off and returns made up as a Kiss member.
NATURE Ah, your new bodies. You’ve already discovered what they
KISS MAN Hey! That’s my song.
can do and what they feel. Haven’t you worked it out yet? Listen, then. ELVIS Hey! You were made for love! Elvis Presley enters. KISS MAN Oh, yes! ELVIS YOU… WERE MADE… FOR… LOVE! They sing together. In between, they bring on the puppet theatre. Adam and Eve look at each other, and walk towards each other. They stop, and it is as if they want to touch each other, but it doesn’t happen.
SIGMUND And now, ladies and gentlemen, the last story!
100 | Petr Vodicˇka ~ Czech Republic
CARL GUSTAV And there was a wedding, and they ate and drank and
Petr Vodicˇka
then an ogre came along and ate everything! Born in Prague 1974. He graduated from Academy
Puppet wedding, Ogre comes along in the shape of a big face, and eats
of Performing Arts, Prague, Faculty of Alternative and
everything.
Puppet Theatre as an actor. Simultaneously, he studied
SIGMUND And it’s goodbye from the Junge Freude theatre!
1999 and 2008 he was engaged as an actor in the Thea-
directing and dramaturgy at the same school. Between
tre Minor in Prague, and since 2003, has also worked as a professional director
He picks up Ogre, who opens his mouth and shoots a firework at the audience. Elvis and the Kiss man finish singing the song.
with strong emphasis on author text preparation. He made performances in various Czech theatres, for example Alfa in Pilsen, Naivni divadlo Liberec, Minor Prague, West Bohemia Theatre Cheb and others. At present Petr works as freelance actor,
THE END
director, playwright, puppetry-lecturer and occasionally organizes artistic performances at commercial events. He writes also lyrics and has his own band called ‘The Orchestra of the Final Day’.
© www.divadloalfa.cz
Bunny Boy & Dragonfly | 101
Nora Mansmann ~ Germany
Bunny Boy & Dragonfly an empty room maybe a classroom maybe walls on which the plaster is
and here is bunny boy cunning and full of tricks as the world is his
crumbling scribbles, darkness out of which two figures slowly appear
enemy prince of thousand enemies and when they catch him they will
small figures two boys little boys huddled up with each other holding
kill him but first they must catch him
hands and here is dragonfly joyful playful best friend always good-humored two boys alone in an empty barren room they are brothers they might
quick and versatile flyboy with the priceless ability to fold his wings
they could be brothers and they are singing an ancient melody in a
around himself like a cloak a magic cap
strange voice a strangers voice a strange language no one knows but them
and they are standing here alone together two boys together in the middle of that cheerless empty barren room and it is time to say goodbye
and here’s that scent of cake again
and they are singing still singing their farewell song
102 | Nora Mansmann ~ Germany
did they catch him did they catch you bunny boy oh yes they did and
so says bunny boy and dragonfly is smiling silently smiling but it is a sad
now you have to go you have to leave this life your friend poor dragonfly
smile and it says without a word goodbye my friend he says without a
from now on flies alone
word goodbye poor friend poor boy you’ll miss me soon and sings without a sound goodbye again farewell we’ll never meet again
they had been brothers as long as they can remember as long as i can
and so he disappears the boy with broken wings and leaves this life and
remember but now it’s farewell and bunny boy the brave he is afraid
bunny boy his friend who’s weeping
and dragonfly the joyful he has fallen silent he is slowly fading seems to fade away
BUNNY BOY i want the right to become an adult but to stay a child
and bunny boy the fearful looks again at dragonfly his friend and sees a small boy wispy lanky boy with broken wings all rags and tears - he
/ = from this point on the line overlaps with the following
hadn’t realized that yet - his wings are broken maybe cut off maybe they
this text is assumedly a picture description to inspire the production
can fly no more so it’s the end it is farewell for good
teams, and not to be spoken (in whole) on ‘stage’.
DRAGONFLY i have to go now / see... BUNNY BOY see you tomorrow?
© www.tjg-dresden.de
Nora Mansmann ~ Germany | 103
Nora Mansmann ~ Germany
Selma A
B
she’s a girl
doing her best no to be noticed
very wispy very small
always in the background very quiet
even tiny you might say she’s A B
wouldn’t play and jump about with other kids
undersized she is and inconspicuous
she’d just stand there alone
A
SELMA
yes invisible i’d say now see her standing there alone again alone in the
a space of peace and quietness around me in the middle of the noise of
school yard
all the noise around me
104 | Nora Mansmann ~ Germany
B
SELMA
there she is alone of course as usual
no i am looking
A
A
lonely in the middle of
yes she is looking around she’s watching the others observing what’s going on seeing everything being attentive seeing hearing everything
SELMA the eye of a hurricane so i would stand there
SELMA no
B she would stand there in the school yard
B enviously watching the others having fun having friends
A all alone poor girl lonely girl
A having fun with their friends
B doing nothing at all as she’s all alone all through the break no one there
B
to play so she’s standing there doing nothing at all through the break
which she lacks so she’s
the whole break
Nora Mansmann ~ Germany | 105
A
my own games and i don’t want to be disturbed as i’m looking inside as
soaking just soaking it up like a sponge
i’m thinking you know and i don’t want to be disturbed
B
i want the right to be alone with myself
she is soaking and drinking the noise and the smells and the pictures and words
lines have to flow into each other, the whole piece is mostly one breath; one voice/character takes over from the other as if it was one line.
SELMA
SELMA could be impersonated by a puppet.
no i’m looking inside all the words © www.tjg-dresden.de
A of the others
Nora Mansmann was born in 1980 in Friedberg/Ts. and grew up in Marburg and Kassel. She studied History,
B who do not see nor hear her as she’s invisible
Musicology and German language and literature Studies in Göttingen and Berlin, and has worked as a trainee and director’s assistant of Jürgen Gosch, Armin Petras, Ingo
SELMA
Berk, Mareike Mikat and for German Theatre Abroad (e.g.
yes i’m invisible yes in the eye of the hurricane yes and i’m looking
at the Festival New German Voices 2004 in New York).
inside and i’m playing a game there inside of me in the eye of the hurri-
Nora Mansmann lives in Berlin.
cane i’m playing with words and with pictures yes i’m playing my games
As from 2005 on Nora Mansmann has been represented as an author by Verlag der Autoren. Her plays were staged amongst others at Maxim Gorki Theatre Berlin, Münchner Kammerspiele, Düsseldorfer Schauspielhaus, Staatstheater Braunschweig and Habimah Theatre Tel Aviv/Israel. Momentary, Nora Mansmann is working on a new play (arm sein) which will have itspremier in spring 2013 at Theater Aachen. This will be the first time for her, who also works as a director, to direct a full lenght play she has written herself. Before that, she directed I hired a Contract Killer and the premier of Bildergeschichten for Theater Kiel. In 2012, she also directed for the first time a play for small children: Noah und der große Regen at Rheinisches Landestheater Neuss. Earlier works as a director at Theater Bonn, Theater Aachen, Stadttheater Bremerhaven, Düsseldorfer Schauspielhaus, Drama Köln and in off theatres in Berlin. In 2010 Nora Mansmann participated in the scholarship „Internationales Forum“ at Theatertreffen Berlin. Other scholarships led her to „Künstlerdorf Schöppingen“, to research journeys in Israel, Ukraine and Italy, and to the Mannheimer Schillertage in 2007. She worked as a teacher and tutor at 2009 Interplay Festival for Young Playwrights (Cairns/Australia), and participated in the workshop „operare 2010“ for experimental music theatre.
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 107
Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls Characters
and the reality are woven together – sometimes they forget the audi-
Jack – 13 years old
ence are there.
Daniel – 13 years old Holly – 13 years old
The five separate segments may either be played together as one piece or interspersed amongst other unrelated material. It is however one nar-
Location
rative, revealed bit by bit in the five segments.
The small stage of a run-down comedy club. It could be a real comedy club or a school hall. It doesn’t matter.
Scene 1
Notes
Showbizzy intro music – maybe it’s a big band build up, maybe it’s a
The three characters play out a moment in their real lives as though they
crappy portable organ intro. Jack takes it completely seriously as though
were part of a stand-up comedy act playing to a live audience. The act
he was headlining at the coolest comedy club in town.
108 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Jack runs on to the stage and grabs the microphone. He wears a sparkly
Or maybe I should say – Daniella?
jacket, too big for him, over his school shirt and trousers and tie. He carries a skateboard as his comedy prop. He hams up the role of the stand
Jack pretends to be confused.
up comic – just like over-the-top, overconfident guys he’s seen on tv. Hey, best comedy mate, why are you dressed up as a girl? Jack Hey, hey, hey, thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s a real pleasure to be
Daniel
here with you tonight in Pilsen and a real pleasure to share with you the
Because you told me to.
comedy spectacular that is “The Jack and Daniel Comedy Spectacular”. The first time we appeared at our school Christmas show, the headmas-
Jack
ter called us “two thirteen year old boys who think they’re very funny”
Shut up! You’re not supposed to say that. You’re supposed to say
and I’m sure you’ll agree when you hear all the cool jokes we’ve got for
“because tonight we’re going to be doing the Jack and Daniel Spectacu-
you. So on with the show. I’m Jack and I’d like to introduce you to my
lar Comedy Guide to Girls.”
best mate and spectacular comedy partner, Daniel! Come on ladies and gentlemen, let’s have a big Pilsen round of applause for Daniel!
Daniel Oh yeah.
Jack claps and whoops wildly. Daniel enters wearing a very bad long, blonde wig and his school jumper stuffed up his shirt for tits. He’s not
Jack
happy.
So go on then, say it.
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 109
Daniel without expression
Jack
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we’re going to be doing the Jack and
That’s kind of the point.
Daniel Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls. Daniel To Jack I feel like a dick.
But it’s stupid. Jack That’s right, Daniella! Because girls are totally stupid. So we’re going to
Jack
be doing lots of jokes about handbags and nail varnish and make-up and
You can’t say that! No swearing and no jokes about private parts or we’ll
boy bands and it’ll be really funny.
get sent to the headmaster’s office again. Now ladies and gentlemen, with the help of my lovely assistant Daniella, I’m going to share with
Daniel
you some thoughts about what’s funny about girls and what’s not funny
If you say so.
about girls, isn’t that right, Daniella? Jack Daniel
And then I’ll hit you in the face with a skateboard.
Why do I have to be the girl? Everybody’s going to laugh at me. Daniel Why?
110 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Jack
Haha! And that was my comedy best mate, Daniel, ladies and gentle-
Because that’s comedy!
men. The funniest guy in the business.
He claps his hands and snaps into a showbizzy pose with a big cheesy
Blackout
grin. Frozen he hisses at Daniel. Fart!
Scene 2 Jack runs on stage with the skateboard and grabs the microphone.
Daniel I don’t want to fart.
Jack Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Jack and Daniel Comedy
Jack
Spectacular and more hilarious observations about the female of the
Just do it. They’ll love it.
species. Now me and Daniel know a lot about girls because he’s a got a sister and half the girls in our school are female. The first thing you
Daniel
have to understand about girls is they’re different to boys and I know
I’m going.
this because when I tell jokes in class, most of the boys laugh, but none of the girls do. So that’s proof their brains are different. Also, they never
As he exits. Jack makes a farting noise with his tongue.
laugh when somebody gets a skateboard smashed in their face and as
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 111
soon as my comedy best mate Daniel turns up, we’ll do a demonstration
Daniel
to show you exactly how that works.
I can’t stay. I just came to tell you.
Daniel enters without the blonde wig and tits.
Jack What? But we’re in the middle of a show.
And here he is, my best mate and comedy partner, Daniel! Daniel To Daniel
I’ve got to see someone.
Where the hell have you been? I’m on my own out here.
Jack Who?
Daniel
Daniel
I got held up.
Well, if you must know I’m walking home with Holly Bateson.
Jack
Jack
Well, never mind about that now. I was just telling the ladies and gen-
Holly Bateson is a girl.
tlemen all about the skateboard in the face gag, so now you’re here – Daniel Yeah, that’s why they call her Holly.
112 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Jack
Daniel
But…Oh, I get it. You’re doing research for the act. Good idea, comedy
I don’t think she’d believe me.
partner. Hey you should video her. Jack Daniel
Hmmm…you’ve got a point there. I mean she’s not exactly modelling
Why?
material. She’s a got a mono-brow.
Jack
Daniel
For the comedy research. You know like scientists do with rats.
No, she hasn’t.
Daniel
Jack
I don’t think she’d like that.
Yeah, yeah, listen, we could do a whole set about her mono-brow. Oh yeah, that’ll be really funny. Like her eyes grew a moustache.
Jack So just tell her your cousin’s a talent scout for a big modelling agency
Daniel
and he’s thinks she could be the next top model or something. Girls are
I’m going now.
suckers for that sort of thing. He exits.
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 113
Jack
Scene 3
Ladies and gentlemen, did you hear the joke about Holly Bateson - her
Jack enters rather subdued. He takes the microphone and coughs self-
eyes grew a moustache! And if you hit her in the face with a skateboard
consciously.
it would just bounce off because of her big hairy eyebrows. Hey, Daniel, did you hear about Holly Bateson? She’s got a new job at the zoo as a
Jack
part-time gorilla.
So yeah…well…ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Jack and
He turns and sees that Daniel has gone.
edy best mate Daniel has got to so it’s just me, on my own, for now. But
Daniel Comedy Spectacular Guide to Girls. I don’t know where my comas soon as he comes the jokes will start rolling out all over again. Ok, Oh. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I guess we’ll just have to wait for the
so girls…well here’s a funny thing…you always see girls throwing their
skateboard in the face comedy moment. See you later for more from the
arms round each other and hugging and stuff, so you think they’re really
Jack and Daniel Comedy Spectacular Guide to Girls.
close and love each other and all that, but the truth is they talk about how fat or how ugly or how slutty their mates are behind their backs. So
He grins inanely at the audience. Makes a farting noise with his tongue.
you see that’s another difference between the sexes - which is not a dirty
Blackout
mates if they’re real mates and no one ever comes between you.
word by the way - because boys are loyal, right? I mean you stick by your
Daniel enters with Holly. Both are wearing school uniforms.
114 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Holly
Daniel
Hi Jack.
Yeah, you, me and Holly.
Jack
Jack
What’s she doing here?
No way, Daniel.
Holly
Daniel
Nice to see you as well, Jack.
No listen, she’s really funny.
Jack
Jack
She’s not allowed up here with the talent.
It’ll never work.
Daniel
Holly
Listen Jack, I’ve had an idea. I’ve been thinking how good it would be if
Why not?
there were three of us in the Comedy Spectacular. Jack Jack Three of us?
Look, it’s nothing personal, but you’re a girl, aren’t you?
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 115
Holly
Holly
My God, that explains why I’m wearing a bra.
You think so?
Jack
Jack
You see we just don’t find the same things funny. I mean I’m not saying
Definitely.
girls don’t have a sense of humour, it’s just that you don’t understand really good comedy.
Holly picks up the skateboard and smashes it into his face. Jack falls down – a comedy pratfall, but it hurts for real.
Holly Really? Like what.
Jack What did you do that for?
Jack Well, look you need a certain type of brain to appreciate really good com-
Holly
edy and I’m not saying girls don’t have brains, it’s just that your brains
Just testing your theory. Come on, Daniel.
are full of stuff about handbags and make-up and boy bands and so you don’t have the space in there to really understand why a skateboard in
She moves to exit. Daniel grins at Jack.
the face is so hilarious. Daniel See? I told you she was funny.
116 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Holly
He collapses back on the stage and lies still.
Are you coming or not? Blackout Daniel Yeah.
Scene 4 He exits. As Holly follows him, Jack lets out a farting noise with his
Jack is standing at the microphone, a sticking plaster on his nose where
tongue.
Holly hit him. He checks his watch, coughs self-consciously.
Holly
Jack
Grow up!
So ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the next instalment of the Jack and Daniel Comedy Spectacular. Daniel’s not here right now, but
She exits. Jack hauls himself up from the floor, holding on to the micro-
he will be. I mean he’s got to be, because we’re a comedy duo, aren’t
phone stand. He addresses the audience weakly.
we? A team. We always have been ever since Year 4 when the teacher was calling the register and Daniel let off this big fart on purpose. There
Jack
was me and this girl and we couldn’t stop laughing and the teacher sent
Ok, time for a little interval now, but don’t worry we’ll be back soon with
us out of the classroom, but it was just so funny and this girl – I can’t
more comedy gold from the Jack and Daniel Comedy Spectacular Guide
remember her name, but she actually peed herself laughing. Believe me,
to Girls and why they’re no fun.
no one does comedy farting like Daniel. It just cracks me up every time,
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 117
because we’ve got exactly the same sense of humour. We’re on the same
Scene 5
wavelength, connected. Except his phone must be out of credit because
Showbizzy intro music.
I’ve been texting him all day and he hasn’t got back to me. But anyway, anyway, girls…now here’s a funny thing about girls. Tits.
Holly runs on stage and grabs the microphone. She is now wearing the sparkly jacket.
He laughs hysterically. Holly You see what I mean? Oh come on, I said tits. It’s funny. Daniel always
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been
laughed when I said tits.
thinking about boys and for all you boys in the audience who are probably really confused about what I just said, “thinking” is something us
Pause
girls do with our brains which are inside our heads and not in our backsides like yours. Because let’s be honest, boys aren’t very bright, are
But then she came along.
they? Ok, everyone knows they’re not as good at academic stuff, but it’s more than that. I mean they just don’t get it. For instance what is about
He sighs, looks glum, makes the farting noise again, but it doesn’t cheer
boys and moustaches?
him up. Jack enters and watches her. Blackout.
118 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
I don’t mean proper, grown up moustaches, but those little caterpillars
Jack
they get on their top lips and they just look ridiculous but they don’t
You’re wearing the comedy jacket.
seem to realise. I mean shave it off, for God’s sake, or give it a leaf to chew on, but do something. Hello? Puberty calling. Anyone home? And
Holly
then there’s the sagging. Oh God, so much sagging! My eyes! My eyes!
I thought I’d try it on for size. Fits me pretty well, don’t you think?
I mean do they really think they look cool with their underpants showing and half their bums hanging out? They can’t even walk without pull-
Jack
ing them up all the time and it just looks like they couldn’t make it to
Oh yeah, haha. Boys are stupid. Very funny.
the toilet in time. “Hey, look at me. I’m really cool. I just did a big one in my panties.” And they think we don’t know their mums still buy their
Holly
pants for them?
It was just a joke.
Jack
Jack
What are you doing?
I bet Daniel wouldn’t find it funny.
Holly
Holly
See what I mean, ladies and gentlemen? Not very bright.
He helped me write it.
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 119
Jack
Holly
My God! What have you done to him?
I didn’t make Daniel do anything.
Holly takes off the jacket and offers it to him.
Jack You make him laugh now and I don’t. So that’s it.
Holly Look, you’d better have this back.
Holly Look, Jack, I think I make Daniel smile, but I don’t make him laugh.
Jack
Not like you do.
No. I’m not doing comedy anymore. Jack Holly
What’s that mean?
Why not? Holly Jack
I’m not sure. But there’s a difference. Listen, Jack, you’re right, I don’t
Because it’s no fun on your own. We were going to make a video and put
get half of the things you and Daniel find funny but I still like him, so
it on youtube and get spotted and be really rich and famous, but since
that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends too.
you made Daniel break up the act, there’s not a lot of point.
120 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Jack
Holly
Friends laugh at the same things.
Yeah, it’ll be a laugh.
Holly
She closes her eyes and scrunches up her face. Jack puts the sparkly
Ok. Well, I can try.
jacket on again and raises the skateboard to hit her.
She picks up the skateboard
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for a comedy classic moment
Go on then.
He swings the skateboard back, but then stops and lowers it.
Jack
Holly
What?
Have you done it yet?
Holly
Jack
Smash me in the face with the skateboard.
No.
Jack
Holly opens her eyes.
Really?
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 121
Holly
Holly
Why not?
And my friend Jasmine is coming too and she thought it would be good if you came as well.
Jack Because it wouldn’t be very funny, that’s why not. Because Daniel would
Jack
kill me if I broke your gorgeous nose and messed up your amazing beauty.
What for?
Holly
Holly
Thanks.
I don’t know. She just said it would be a laugh if you did. So do you want to come?
Jack I was joking.
Jack Why should I? I don’t even know her.
Holly I knew that. Listen, me and Daniel are going to the park after school.
Holly Well, she knows you and she told me to give you a message.
Jack I’m so pleased for you.
Jack What message?
122 | Richard Hurford ~ Great Britain
Holly
Jack
Oh, God. Look, she’s a bit weird sometimes, but she told me to do this…
I just remembered something funny.
With a look of great distaste she makes a farting noise with her mouth.
Holly What?
Jack What does that mean?
Jack Oh, you had to be there. So…park, after school. Yeah, why not?
Holly I don’t know. But she said you’d understand if I said “Remember Year 4”.
Holly Come on then.
Jack Year 4?
Jack Just a minute.
Jack frowns for a moment, then the meaning of the message dawns on him. He smiles.
He turns to the audience, grabs the microphone.
Holly
Jack
What are you smiling for?
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve been a great audience, but I’ve
Jack & Daniel’s Spectacular Comedy Guide to Girls | 123
got to go now and spread some more laughter in the world. Say good-
Richard Hurford is a British theatre and radio play
night, Holly.
wright, Associate Writer with Pilot Theatre, York and has
Holly
ing York Theatre Royal, Sheffield Theatres and the BBC
Good night Holly.
and creative collaborations with theatre partners across
written for many companies throughout the UK includ-
Europe. His many plays for children and young people
Jack Good night Pilsen!
include dramas, comedies, fantasy, classic stage adaptations and plays with music. He has worked extensively as a dramaturge and mentor on theatre, radio and online writing projects for young people, developing new
He runs off. Holly stands at the mike for a moment and then makes a
scripts and writers and also created many large-scale, site-specific youth theatre
farting noise with her tongue.
productions performed in a range of public spaces.
Holly I just don’t get it. Blackout
© www.pilot-theatre.com
30 Schoolyard Nano-Plays | 125
Rui Pina Coelho ~ Portugal
30 Schoolyard Nano-Plays 1.
3.
A boy enters a school cafeteria packed with young people. Everybody is talking loudly. The boy can’t even hear his own thoughts. He looks around, sadly and slowly. Vangabondly, he leaves.
MARTHA Go away!
2.
KATIE You gotta believe me! I really love you.
Two Boys.
4. JIM, indicating a beautiful girl passing by. Look.
A boy is sitting in a classroom. He sighs and finds peace while staring at Jane.
GEORGE Yes. I know.
Two girls giggling.
The girl slides away – everybody necking like windmills.
5.
JANE I will never do that again. Never. I swear.
126 | Rui Pina Coelho ~ Portugal 6.
10.
JIM, with his headphones, parades around a schoolyard walking like a gladiator. Lou Reed. He rocks.
Two girls stare at each other. JULIE reaches out to touch SISSI on the shoulder. They smile. They kiss. They stare at each other. They embrace and kiss.
7. MISS PATRICIA, a young good – looking English teacher looks sadly through a foggy window. She draws random pictures on the glass as she starts to smile. She goes away.
11.
8.
12.
A girl enters the library. She looks around. Her reflection in a mirror catches her attention.
A girl sits on the corner of the schoolyard, alone. She waves into the distance. She stands up and waves persistently. She tries to take a better look. Suddenly, she stops. – Oh, not yet.
SHE That’s the last time I’m entering here.
Two boys stare at each other. JOHN reaches out to touch MIKE on the shoulder. They smile.
13. 9.
A group of boys run, madly chasing a football.
A girl sits. She carefully spreads her legs, looks around for a familiar face and pulls her summery dress up to her knees. Then, she melancholically sighs – oh, not yet.
14. Seven girls sitting on a table. They talk happily. Suddenly, one of them stands up and leaves. She looks at her watch and hurries away.
30 Schoolyard Nano-Plays | 127 15.
18.
A pretty girl enters a room. Everybody looks at her. She smiles nervously. The seconds seem to last hours. Finally, she spots ANDREY. PRETTY GIRL I though I wouldn’t see you until next week.
FRED looks around searching for JANE. He is standing in the middle of the schoolyard. Looking for JANE. JAMES kicks a ball from a corner of the court, hitting FRED violently in the face. He kneels, his nose is bleeding and he’s crying. At this precise moment, JANE passes by – like a bird.
16.
19.
JIMMY There is nothing left to fight about. I can’t see anyone to whom I can say “let’s fight this.” I’m bored. I’m bored. I’m bored.
A fight. Three boys fighting – kicking, hitting and biting. Apparently (in fights it’s hard to tell how things start), one of them said something about someone’s mother. MARK, a blind kid, sitting down, listens to his headphones and smiles. The Clash.
17. Two friends at the school entrance. – Shall we? – Yes, please. – After you. – Certainly, my dear friend. – Have you got it? – Yes. It is going to be a memorable day. – A day never to forget.
20. A girl smiles at her boyfriend. HER BOYFRIEND I think I have to go now. SHE Oh, not yet.
128 | Rui Pina Coelho ~ Portugal 21.
25.
RACHEL’s birthday. Everybody sings her “Happy Birthday”. She goes to blow out the candles. But she stops. She waits a second – in silence. – Tomorrow I’ll smoke.
JASON looks at himself in the glassy reflection of a glass door. He thinks of Van Gogh.
22.
A girl sitting in the back row of a classroom. She gently smiles to HENRY, sitting opposite her. HENRY, embarrassed, drops his pencil. She continues to smile, flooding him with desire. Clumsily, he thinks to himself: Oh, not yet.
26. JAKE reads a book. He’s overwhelmed and completely involved in it. He hears nothing around him. All of a sudden, it rings: – Oh, not yet.
23.
27.
In a classroom, a boy looks out the window. Outside, the sun is inviting everybody for a walk. A pretty girl passes by. The boy stands up – Did you all know that it must be great to be all the things we’re not?!
A teacher enters the cafeteria and asks for a coffee. Tired and sad, he looks around looking at all the students. He smiles softly and exits.
24. Two friends play childishly: they are warrior kings. They fight with imaginary swords, shields and helmets. Two girls observe them.
Two colleague teachers talk happily in the shade of an old tree, in the schoolyard. The boys and girls disturb their conversations with screams, cheers and yells.
One girl comments: – Oh, not yet.
A girl passes by, running. Her hair is like the wind.
28.
29.
30 Schoolyard Nano-Plays | 129 30. A boy enters a school cafeteria packed with young people. Everybody is talking loudly. He can’t even hear his own thoughts. He looks around, sadly and slowly. Inquisitively, he sits.
Rui Pina Coelho (1975) is Master in Theatre Studies (Lisbon University), lectures at the Higher Institute of Theatre and Cinema (Amadora. He is also a Researcher at the Centre for Theatre Studies in the Faculty of Letters (Lisbon University) where he collaborates in the
© www.obando.pt
project CET base. He has published Casa da Comédia (1946–1975): Um palco para uma ideia de teatro (Lisbon: Imprensa Nacional Casa da Moeda, 2009, 325 pp.) and Inesgotável Koltès (ESTC/Teatro dos Aloés, 2009, 48 pp.). He is a member of the Editorial Board of the journal Sinais de cena (Lisbon, Portugal) and a member of the Consulting Board of the online journal opercevejonline (http://seer.unirio.br/index.php/opercevejoonline, Rio de Janeiro, Brasil). He is a member of the Direction of the Portuguese Association of Theatre Critics and a theatre critic in the national Portuguese daily newspaper Público (since 2006). He is also a founding member of the group Trimagisto – Cooperativa de Experimentação Teatral (Évora, Portugal). As a playwright and dramaturgist, he has collaborated with Teatro o Bando (Palmela), TEUC (Coimbra), Trimagisto (Évora) and Teatro Experimental do Porto (Vila Nova de Gaia). He is currently working on his PhD thesis on Artistic Studies at the Faculty of Letters, Lisbon University.
Santa’s Last Christmas | 131
Arjunan Manuelpillai ~ Great Britain
Santa’s Last Christmas It is the end of Christmas. Santa stumbles into a crowded room. This
don’t feed me for the 9 months i’m off work. They think i’m just sat on
room is filled with randomness, rather like the greenroom for actors. His
a beach for six months of the year, perming my beard or something… i
legs weak, his red robe battered as his attitude. He reaches into his coat
live in the north pole, it’s frigging cold out here and there’s nothing to
and pulls from it a bottle of Cognac and a glass. He pours himself a
bloody do… i’m only here because if i set up in a hot country you’ll have
drink. Settles himself in a chair and then suddenly notices the audience.
a bunch of tourists clicking pictures all day long… ‘santa can you take one with my baby… santa can you take one with my annoying beard-
Santa: Have you ever woken up and thought what the hell is the point
pulling adolescent… they want the pictures they just never bloody pay!
of all this? I think every man… at some point or other, will reach a moment where they have to stop and think, you know, reassess and con-
I’m sat in this tiny house, well you people call it ‘cosy’ all year round
sider, no, reconsider. (pause) Cos every man wants to be appreciated. A
doing the marketing, the website, listening to kids all day, ‘oh can i have
fucking pat on the back now and again, you know, a medal of some sort…
this, can i have that… can i have a bloody grand piano!’ oh yes, i’d love
i mean you know i do it for the love, i always have done… and i appre-
to stick a grand piano onto the back of a sleigh made of antique wood…
ciate the cake and the mince pies, god knows i do but come on, Cake
it’s ridiculous!
132 | Arjunan Manuelpillai ~ Great Britain
i had a letter from a kid last week asking for an indoor swimming pool
We all know what its like to work, but i don’t think u realise how hard it
and not just that… world bloody peace. I mean has he ever seen any
is, and this age, with this half battered sleigh and five reindeers. it’s like
stories about Santa… Santa ain’t rolling about in a fortlift truck you
a circus on wheels, i mean they don’t get on, they got so many bloody
know… i ain’t got the starship bloody enterprise filled up here, i got a
insecurities i tell you… and it ain’t part time. 24 hours a day, i don’t
sleigh, and it ain’t big…
see light for three days, i’m just chasing the darkness… listening to the
You see the kids don’t appreciate it. they just ask and ask, but i mean,
banter of a bunch of flying hornheaded moaners. (shakes his head in
i can’t tell how good they’ve been, there’s too many of them… i mean
disgust) It seems harsh, you think i’m being harsh don’t you… trust me,
we ain’t had a naughty book for about 8 years, it was uploaded on this
if you had to listen to the wining of that red nose twat for as long as i,
spreadsheet by some elf who said it’ll make my life easier… wrong…
you would be just the same as me… he don’t have no respect and he’s…
some reason excel won’t open it up. it says error 20455, what the bloody
it doesn’t matter anyhow. I’m packing it in.
ell does that mean?… My whole computer has been screwed up for years now, and i’ve more or less decided i can’t be arsed with dealing with it
(takes a sip of his drink and wipes clean his moustache)
anymore… i was talking to one of the elfs the other day and he was saying, ‘we gotta move with the times, we gotta change, switch our tech-
I’m sick of it all, i’ve handed it over to my friends at Ebay… they do a
niques’, well change the bloody sleigh then, fix the spreadsheet and
much better job and tell you the truth i wouldn’t buy off me anymore, i
while your at it find a couple flying reindeers a job… oh no, he disap-
mean i used to make simple things well. Wooden bikes, real toys, like
pears without an answer… because its easy to come up with an idea or
those rocking horse things… now that was a real toy, you push it, it
poke a cliche out, it’s harder to actually see it through.
pushes back… nowadays they probably got a virtual hobby horse, or a horse you can shoot, gut and eat… turn its body into shoes or some-
Santa’s Last Christmas | 133
thing. i ain’t no computer boff, i can’t tell the difference between xbox
Tooth Fairy: It’s the dentists you know, too efficient.
and playwii or whatever it bloody is… it’s all changing and i’m sick of it… The thing that gets to me most is after christmas… they just forget
Santa: we’re all feeling it.
about it… i’m here thinking to myself– Tooth Fairy: Changing times. Too many cooks. In walks the tooth fairy. She carries an empty bag and crashes down into the seat next to Santa.
Silence. The tooth fairy gulps down a sip.
Tooth Fairy: Woah! You look absolutely smashed. How you doing San?
I tell you what though, did i tell you about that kid?
Santa: I’m alright you know, getting there…
Santa: Which kid?
Tooth Fairy: I’ve been touring for the last two weeks, not even a baby
Tooth Fairy: Was in a house in Canada somewhere, forget where… but
tooth… empty…
i’m there in this house and this kids there, so i go in right, push up his pillow and there’s a note there right… wait, have a look at it…
Santa: Really. She pulls out the crumpled note from his pocket and hands it to Santa (the tooth fairy plucks a plastic mug from her wings and nudges Santa into giving her some)
134 | Arjunan Manuelpillai ~ Great Britain
Santa: ‘I managed to punch this out of a bully at school, can you give
Tooth Fairy: why? what you mean?
me something for it… but don’t tell my mum’. Santa: Didn’t you hear about that crazy red haired woman? They laugh together. Tooth Fairy: In Poland. Tooth Fairy: It’s a classic isn’t it? Santa: No not her! (laughs) She’s got a similar bloody attitude though. Santa: Sure is.
Anyway, this crazy red haired woman… have you ever seen those bear traps, like the metal ones that flip closed… she put those in the fire-
Tooth Fairy: I saw a couple chasers about three weeks ago.
place, 3 of the bloody things –
Santa: They’re everywhere –
Tooth Fairy: How many kids?
Tooth Fairy: They’d set up some elaborate trick… like a rabbit hutch
Santa: Two.
with a pair of someone’s dentures in it… i mean an old man’s or something… It really does seem like the kids are getting crazier? Santa: Oh man, i’ve stopped going through the chimney these days.
Tooth Fairy: Ouch, did it get you?
Santa’s Last Christmas | 135
Santa: No amazingly i threw my sack down first, but that could have
Santa: I mean you know what it’s like… the workshop, the reindeer,
killed me… i mean now-a-days i just do the old credit card in the door
the house –
you know… Tooth Fairy: The strain is heavy – Tooth Fairy: Yeah, i’m all about the open window. It’s one of the bonuses of these wings.
Santa: It’s a losing battle. I’m so out of touch at the moment… and the worst thing is i don’t even care anymore. Feels like i reach some point
Santa: I tell you there are some times i really wish i had a pair of those.
and it’s all on the edge…
Tooth Fairy: But you got the beard! (they laugh together)
Tooth Fairy: You gotta hang in there, peaks and troughs and all that.
Silence.
Santa: Yeah I know.
Tooth Fairy: So how’s Mrs. Santa doing?
Tooth Fairy: You can’t forget all the good you’re doing –
Santa: She’s… well, we ain’t doing too well.
Santa: Good?
Tooth Fairy: Sorry to hear that.
Tooth Fairy: Oh come on Mr. Humble, you’re in the dreams of millions of kids, always will be.
136 | Arjunan Manuelpillai ~ Great Britain
Santa: Dreams?
Pause.
Tooth Fairy: Think about it, no matter what happens, you’ll be there…
Tooth Fairy: And if it ain’t that, then its these dentists and doctors
i’m dying out. Some children are just throwing their teeth in the bin. I
making kids take better care of their teeth, so i don’t get the older ones
saw a child the other day putting his tooth in a glass of Coca-Cola for
no more… but do you see what i’m saying, you’re a hero… you’ll last
some school project.
forever–
Santa: What for?
Santa: It’s not about that.
Tooth Fairy: They were assessing the effect of coke on their teeth.
Tooth Fairy: You bring hope to so many.
Santa: What happened?
Santa: I just honestly don’t think its doing good anymore.
Tooth Fairy: Well it didn’t last a night.
Tooth Fairy: How can you say –
Santa: It’s crazy what they put in coca-cola these days.
Santa: I’m serious… they don’t care about me and what i do… all they care about are the presents.
Tooth Fairy: And it’s a waste of a perfectly good tooth. Tooth Fairy: But that’s what Christmas is about –
Santa’s Last Christmas | 137
Santa: That’s not Christmas at all… it’s about bringing people together,
Santa: The kids only desire… i sometimes wish i could go to those kids
about love to fellow man… not the latest computer game or… whatever.
with loads of toys, like some of those in America, the Bel Air houses… i wanna steal their toys and take them over to the kids with nothing, you
Pause
know in some of those shanty towns that everyone hates to go.
Santa: Everything i do is about WANT… kids want this, they want
Tooth Fairy: You’re not Robin Hood, you’re Santa.
that, they want and want and that’s why this world is so messed up. Cos they’ll keep on wanting… ‘cos Christmas comes every year… and it
They laugh. Santa laughs more politely than honestly.
makes them want… it asks them to want – Tooth Fairy: We don’t control the way poverty is in the world, we’re not Tooth Fairy: Yeah, but you remind them about being good.
politicians, god forbid. We don’t control any of that –
Santa: That’s a lie, an age old lie. I don’t remind them about anything…
Santa: But we can –
they forget for most of the year, most of them are off wanting from others… you, the easter bunny, their mum, their nan –
Tooth Fairy: My father taught me to be a tooth fairy… taught me that that one pound under a child’s pillow is sometimes the only happiness
Tooth Fairy: i think you’re being unfair.
he’s got… just like you. That one present under –
138 | Arjunan Manuelpillai ~ Great Britain
Santa: i’m not saying that’s not true… i’m saying that kids who are
Tooth Fairy: It’s your path… a damn important path!
naughty shouldn’t be getting the same, think about it – Santa: I know, so what? I don’t question it? Tooth Fairy: Stop it… that’s the problem with you. You think too much.
Silence. They sip their cognac.
Santa: No… i’ve been doing this for years, but when i stop now and
Tooth Fairy: This is lovely Cognac.
then, take a deep breathe and i think to myself, well i reckon it’s over for me.
Santa: I know, a kid in England.
Tooth Fairy: Don’t say that. Remember your father, how many years
Tooth Fairy: And you say you’re not appreciated?
did he slave away? Pause. Santa shakes his head. Santa: Yeah and i’ve given my best for a good 100 years you know – Santa: This red suit has gone a faded pink, the sleigh is creaking like Tooth Fairy: I know, but he built this reputation up. It was his duty,
nobody knows, i got a wife who’s ready to leave me… my reindeer are
just like it’s your duty.
tired, one’s got a slipped disc from pulling that sleigh… and if i have to
Santa: What? To blindly follow a path i don’t even agree with anymore.
(they laugh)
say ho ho ho one more time… i swear i might throttle a kid.
Santa’s Last Christmas | 139
Tooth Fairy: You’ll miss it though, you’ll miss the children’s smiles.
Arjunan Manuelpillai. To his friends he is Arji, but
Santa: I don’t think so. Not this time. When i see a child smile these
mance poet, rapper and writer who has created a wide
to many in the music industry he is The Leano; a perfor-
days it’s because he wants something, it’s greed. He wants the new con-
variety of work in his 28 years. He learnt his trade at the
sole or a new dog (that he’ll probably forget about in a month). They all
University of Hull, leaving with a degree in English and
want something and when they grow up, they become big kids and they
Drama and a collection of short plays. Whilst there, he
still want something… not this time. It‘s about time they realised what it
cultivated an overwhelming love for the stage, perform-
was to not have a tree lined with presents, it‘s about time i live for me…
ing both theatre and music.
you know, go back to Mrs. Santa and spend some quality time with the
While performing in schools Arjunan realised his love for teaching, facilitating and
reindeer. No, this time, i‘m just going to enjoy life… i‘m going to have
creating children’s theatre. His rap and poetry workshops have reached some of
a house in the middle of a huge city and get a job. Not a job with chil-
the most deprived communities in the UK and have encouraged young people to
dren, maybe work in an old people‘s home or something, far away from
express themselves through lyrics and rhythm. He has worked and performed in
children and all their desires. This time… i‘m not coming back.. and the
prisons, detention centres and schools across the world. His ability to devise and
rest of my life… it‘s just for me.
create with young people has made him an integral part of the EEA team creating outdoor performance that have toured internationally.
END
© www.eea.org.uk
140 |
Bye-bye, Uniforms | 141
Texts from South America Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
Bye-bye, Uniforms Matías, dressed in a well-ironed school uniform, hair combed in an
PABLO: I wish to testify that I am no longer myself, I’m not the same
excessively formal style, uses his cell phone to film Pablo, who is wear-
anymore.
ing the same uniform. They both play with the medal they just received for graduating primary school. They are twelve years old.
MATÍAS: What an idiot! Playing the philosopher…
PABLO: (Talking to the cell phone with which Matías is recording him)
PABLO: I mean that I’m no longer “Pablito”* to anyone. Pablito is
In this simple ceremony, I wish to testify… are you recording, asshole?
gone. Kaput. Fuck anyone who ever calls me Pablito again. Now it’s Pablo. Like this: PA-BLO. I’m Pablo. Got it?
MATÍAS: Yeah, go on, this thing doesn’t have much battery left. MATÍAS: You done? * Pablito is the diminutive form of Pablo, it means Little Pablo.
142 | Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
PABLO: Yes.
PABLO: Ass.
MATÍAS: Okay, it’s my turn now. Record it with your cell, there’s no
MATÍAS: As I was saying: I don’t know what the hell I’m going to be
space left in mine.
with my life, but I know what I don’t want.
Pablo takes his cell phone out of his uniform coat. He starts recording.
PABLO: It’s “do with my life”, not “be with my life”, that’s wrong.
MATÍAS: I don’t have a damn clue what’ll become of our lives. Whether
MATÍAS: (Not listening to him) I don’t want to be like my old man. I
we’ll still be friends, whether we’ll have a fight, whether we’ll stop see-
don’t want to have a lot of money or lots of children. Just one’s okay. So
ing each other, whether I’ll go to a technical school like my folks want,
I can pay attention to him. I’m not going to get married until I get tired
or fine arts… I don’t know and I don’t give a shit.
of having lots of girlfriends…
PABLO: (Laughing, mocking.) Oh… you’re the philosophical smurf.
PABLO: Heeey… who’s ever going to pay attention to you?
MATÍAS: Shut up, Pablito. Go on, I’m almost done.
MATÍAS: Shhh... I don’t want to be bitter like our math teacher.
PABLO: It’s twenty seconds already. It’s longer than mine.
PABLO: Me neither.
MATÍAS: (With double meaning) Yeah, kid, mine’s longer.
Bye-bye, Uniforms | 143
MATÍAS: I don’t want to lose my friends. I don’t want to move anymore.
MATÍAS: You’re driving back with my parents. They’ll smell the smoke
I don’t want to celebrate my birthdays at home.
on you and then they’ll tear my room apart trying to find something. And
PABLO: I’m bored. Done. (Stops recording.) We’ll edit it later, it’ll be
vice and all that shit.
you’ll have to put up with what comes afterwards: my mom’s sermon on terrific PABLO: That’s your problem, not mine. You have to learn to set limMATÍAS: We could put Evanescence as background music.
its on your parents. This is a great moment. It deserves a smoke. We’re
PABLO: Nooo... something heavier. Linkin Park, maybe.
school. We’ll never wear this ridiculous uniform again, don’t you see?
leaving this school. We’re not kids anymore. We’re going to secondary No more teachers and principals who treat you like a fool talking down MATÍAS: Let me see how it looks.
to you all the time.
Pablo throws Matías his cell phone. He means to see what they just
MATÍAS: No, now we´ll have professors who scowl all day long and
recorded. As Matías plays the video, Pablo lights a cigarette.
drunken principals whose only concern is that nobody breaks their head
MATÍAS: Don’t smoke, you idiot.
guys during the breaks.
inside the school. It won’t be easy to fit in: all new classmates, older
PABLO: Why not?
PABLO: I need this change. These walls… I don’t know… I’ve grown out of them, I’m suffocating here. Even if it’s hard, it’ll be for the best.
144 | Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
MATÍAS: You can’t know. My brother’s having a rough time.
MATÍAS: You kissed Ingrid?
PABLO: Your brother’s an idiot.
PABLO: Give me back my cell.
MATÍAS: And we aren’t?
MATÍAS: I asked you a question. Did you kiss Ingrid?
PABLO: No. Well… I’m not.
PABLO: She came on at me
Matías finds something in Pablo’s cell phone, where he was watching
MATÍAS: You’re an asshole. You knew I liked her since fifth grade. I’ve
the video they just recorded, that draws his attention.
been trying for years and you…
MATÍAS: (Showing him the cell phone) What are these pictures?
PABLO: Stop, man. Don’t think too much about it. I’ll explain everything if you want.
PABLO: Which ones? MATÍAS: I don’t want to know. You’re a bastard, a bad friend. MATÍAS: These. PABLO: Hey… don’t overdo it. We’re not going to fight over a girl. We’re PABLO: Nothing.
friends, we made a deal that no woman would make us fight.
Bye-bye, Uniforms | 145
MATÍAS: But Ingrid... She’s Ingrid.
MATÍAS: And why didn’t you tell me anything?
PABLO: Not Ingrid or Avril Lavigne or anyone. We’re friends. That’s
PABLO: I don’t know, it felt wrong. I didn’t want you to feel bad
the strongest thing there is. (Pause) It was at Colo’s* birthday party. You
because your parents didn’t let you come.
couldn’t come because your parents grounded you for your report card, you’d failed almost everything. The thing is, Colo’s mom left around ten
MATÍAS: (Sarcastic) Ohh... you’re great. You kissed the love of my life
in the evening to go play bingo with her friends. We were left alone, all
and suddenly you’re the best friend in the world.
of us in that house. Then, Chueco said that we should take some whisky from the drawer. It was tempting, standing there, behind a glass door,
PABLO: Hey... you’re pushing it. The love of your life? The love of your
with glasses all around… The glasses were patterned, all filled with
life changes every five minutes. You like everyone. Who can I kiss that
drawings. I don’t know. We had a few drinks and ended up talking non-
isn’t your great love?
sense, of course. I don’t know how, or who thought of it, but at some point we started playing kissing games and stuff like that.
MATÍAS: Romi.
MATÍAS: Did you kiss Colo, too, you fag?
PABLO: Sure. She’s hideous.
PABLO: No, boys with girls. And, well… nobody remembers anything.
MATÍAS: Why do you ask, then?
We ended up throwing up in the flowerpots in the balcony. I kissed Ingrid, Peti, Naty… Those pictures must be there, too. Look. * Colo is a short form of Colorado, which means red-haired.
146 | Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
PABLO: Of the pretty ones, I mean. Which one can I chat up today at
MATÍAS: Shhh...you hear that? That’s the school anthem, isn’t it? The
the graduation party?
ceremony’s almost done. Let’s go back.
MATÍAS: (Doubts) Which one do you like?
PABLO: Oh… yeah. (Sarcastic) Come on, otherwise we’ll get detention. (He kicks his friend in the butt and they leave, laughing)
PABLO: All of them. You? End MATÍAS: From that group, I like all of them, too. PABLO: You see, you jerk? I was right. What do we do? We need to have a strategy so we don’t clash with similar targets. You understand, don’t you? MATÍAS: Yes, I know. Let’s just get a feel with all of them, and try with whoever shows interest. PABLO: That one’s good.
© www.upebe.com.ar
Doubt | 147
Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
Doubt
Four fourteen-year-olds are in a classroom, in a school. In the back-
MARCOS: Me neither. Maybe we should ask the teacher.
ground, there are yells from the rest of the students who are out for recess.
FRANCO: No, Marcos, we made a student council to be independent, so we could decide for ourselves. We can’t go to our teachers asking for
FRANCO: I vote in favor.
help every time we have a problem.
JULIETA: Me, too.
ANA: Franco’s right.
MARCOS: I vote against.
JULIETA: But, well… what do you propose? We’re four: two in favor and two against. And now?
ANA: Me, too. It’s a draw. What do we do? ANA: We can’t draw sticks, can we? JULIETA: I don’t know.
148 | Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
FRANCO: Of course we can’t. Each one of us represents a class, thirty
ANA: We reject it because it won’t work. By the time we finish gathering
classmates. “Re-pre-sent.” We have to take things seriously, we’re
all the signatures for the petition, the girls will have already been thrown
deciding for everyone. Leaving it up to fate is just stupid.
out and that’s it… there’s no turning back.
MARCOS: It wouldn’t be fate.
MARCOS: There has to be something quicker and… I don’t know how to say it… that draws attention… that makes everyone say “Wow”.
FRANCO: What are you saying? FRANCO: (Sarcastic) Let’s plant a bomb, or spray paint the blackMARCOS: It’d be chance. Fate is something else.
boards.
JULIETA: Come on, guys, let’s not fool around. There are three preg-
JULIETA: (Also sarcastic) Or let’s kidnap the principal and ask him not
nant girls in the school, two in tenth grade and one in twelfth, and they
to throw the girls out as ransom.
want to throw them out. Throw them out… do you get it? They lose everything they did.
MARCOS: You two are idiots.
FRANCO: I know. But up until now, the only proposal is mine, and
ANA: You’re dating, aren’t you?
these two reject it. JULIETA: Yes, what does that have to do with anything?
Doubt | 149
ANA: That this could’ve happened to you, too. And now you’d be expect-
MARCOS: That’s not bad. Even if we have other proposals, the petition
ing more support from your classmates than just getting the problem out
wouldn’t be bad. We could gather signatures but not just from students,
of our heads by collecting some worthless signatures.
also from parents and even teachers.
FRANCO: It won’t happen to us. We’re more…
ANA: Yeeeees. Maybe it won’t help these girls, but it’ll be discussed for later on.
JULIETA: More what, Franco? If it were up to you… Shut up, it’s better that way. Don’t make me talk. Anyone can make a mistake. The girl
FRANCO: But we’re still in the same place. What else can we do?
from twelfth grade has the best grades in the school and it happened to her. Let’s hope it doesn’t happen to anyone else who doesn’t want it, but… well… we have to support them. You say that because you’re men.
JULIETA: A sitting. I’ll organize a sitting. Every recess for a week we’ll have a peaceful sitting in the yard, we’ll take pictures and post them on facebook, twitter…
MARCOS: That doesn’t matter. We’re here for a reason. ANA: Terrific… I could write letters in the name of the student counFRANCO: No, let’s not fight. A good idea. That’s what we need.
cil to send to the principal, the inspector, and the newspapers. My old
JULIETA: I got it. I have an idea. Let’s multiply our actions. There are
pressure on.
man says we have to get the media involved, that’s how we can put the four of us. Let’s make four proposals and each of us will take care of one.
150 | Gabriel Fernández Chapo ~ Argentina
FRANCO: Yes, but it’ll turn into a circus. Cameras will come, they’ll
JULIETA: If we’re going through with this, we could put up posters on
start chasing the girls around. A bummer.
the streets, signs in the neighborhood shops…
JULIETA: Yeah, that’s right. We have to think of that.
FRANCO: And let’s arrange a music festival supporting the cause. I know some bands that’ll join in.
MARCOS: Well, they’ll have to bear it so they don’t throw them out. JULIETA: So do I. ANA: And it’ll work for other girls who go through the same thing in the future, so they don’t want to throw them out.
MARCOS: Cool.
JULIETA: It’s their choice. We can’t force them to the front just like
ANA: We had tons of ideas, in the end.
that… so everyone can see them, expose them. FRANCO: Let’s split up? FRANCO: I agree. We can’t. Sound of the bell that announces the end of recess. Background noise ANA: They’re pregnant. They haven’t got the plague. There’s nothing
of the students gets louder, as they start coming back to the classrooms.
to expose. What we have to expose is the principal who wants to throw them out.
JULIETA: We’ll finish arranging this when we leave.
Doubt | 151
MARCOS: Sounds great to me.
Gabriel Fernández Chapo was born in Buenos Aires
ANA: Okay.
(Argentina) in 1975. Playwright, director, and professor
FRANCO: See you in a bit, then.
specialized in theatrical criticism and theory at various universities in Argentina. He has received several awards
END
for his drama production (Argentores, Fondo Nacional de las Artes, Proyecto Expresiones, Teatro por la Identidad, among others).
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Highlights of his latest works are Luca Prodan (2009), Manos traslúcidas en fiebre de olvido (2008), Llámeme traidor (2008), Cromosoma Galia (2008), Harriet. Boceto sobre una inglesa de cierta edad (2007), Perturbaciones (2006), and La casa chica (2005). He was awarded a scholarship to do theatrical studies in Europe by the Ministry of Culture of Argentina Chapo is a researcher at the Theatre History and Theory Research Center (Centro Cultural Ricardo Rojas – Buenos Aires University) and in the Performing Arts Area of the Centro Cultural de la Co-operación (Buenos Aires). He has also published around fifty critical articles in books and magazines and conducted conferences and workshops at National and International Theatre Festivals.
152 | Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
Beginning of a Disaster …To Yoma, for writing on my desk
All that you can’t leave behind says:
You must believe in spring says:
Happy birthday, I’m sending you a song, accept it, it’s my gift!
And you couldn’t miss it?
You must believe in spring says:
All that you can’t leave behind says:
Thanks, hey, why didn’t you come? I invited you to the party
No, I’m the pivot
All that you can’t leave behind says:
You must believe in spring says:
I couldn’t, I’d arranged to play basketball, I play every Saturday with
Wow!
my team.
Beginning of a Disaster | 153
All that you can’t leave behind says:
All that you can’t leave behind says:
Well, actually there wasn’t a game, because two people from the team
…
didn’t come, we just practiced. You must believe in spring says: You must believe in spring says:
(smile emoticon)
You could’ve come. All that you can’t leave behind says: All that you can’t leave behind says:
(blush emoticon)
Yeah, maybe. You must believe in spring says: You must believe in spring says:
Why don’t you?
I would’ve liked you to come All that you can’t leave behind says: All that you can’t leave behind says:
What? Do you want me to kiss the screen?
And I’d like to kiss you You must believe in spring says: You must believe in spring says: …
Not now, I mean, when we see each other…
154 | Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
All that you can’t leave behind says:
All that you can’t leave behind says:
I don’t know…
No
You must believe in spring says:
PAUSE
You don’t know? (“I don’t understand” emoticon)
All that you can’t leave behind says: … not exactly… I’m dating someone
All that you can’t leave behind says: …
You must believe in spring says: How long have you been dating “someone”?
You must believe in spring says: If you don’t know how to kiss I’ll teach you… lol
All that you can’t leave behind says: A year and a half…
All that you can’t leave behind says: It’s NOT that
You must believe in spring says: That’s called a GIRLFRIEND, smarty-pants!
You must believe in spring says: Do you have a girlfriend?
All that you can’t leave behind says: Disaster!
Beginning of a Disaster | 155
PAUSE
You must believe in spring says: Oh! Yeah, I have it… you gave it to me on Bluetooth
You must believe in spring says: And the song?
All that you can’t leave behind says: Which one?
All that you can’t leave behind says: …it’s just, I was trying to send a huge file…
You must believe in spring says:
You must believe in spring says:
I don’t know… I have it
…what a disaster… So now what? All that you can’t leave behind says: All that you can’t leave behind says:
Yes, but which song? That is the name of the album, smarty-pants…
…nothing, I won’t send it. You must believe in spring says: You must believe in spring says:
It goes: All that you fashion - all that you make
At least tell me what song it was…
All that you build - all that you break All that you measure - all that you feel
All that you can’t leave behind says: It’s in my nick
All this you can leave behind…
156 | Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
All that you can’t leave behind says: “Walk on”?? Well, I don’t know, if it’s that song then I didn’t give it to you and you know it, how come?
All that you can’t leave behind says: And love is not the easy thing… The only baggage you can bring Is All that you can’t leave behind
You must believe in spring says: X
You must believe in spring says: You must believe in spring is offline. Your message may not have reached
All that you can’t leave behind says:
its destination.
X? You must believe in spring says: Y…Z… it’s a way of saying: I don’t care! All that you can’t leave behind says: Wow, you’re rude You must believe in spring says: I’m going to bed, we’ve got school tomorrow… Go on!
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We’re Like Flowers | 157
Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
We’re Like Flowers A sixteen-year-old girl is in front of the computer, writing. We hear soft
There can also be a change of light to distinguish when she speaks to
music and typing, pauses, and her voice, perhaps from off-stage.
Rosa) Sometimes… when I’m alone… I speak to her and I tell her what I feel…
…I can’t stop thinking… that must be part of my nature! It’s amazing…
if I’m happy, when I don’t know what choice to make, if I feel bad about
Sometimes I say: Carolina, stop it! Let your mind rest for a while, and
something… besides losing her… Sometimes I feel crazy… I say: I wish
I can’t… My mind can’t stop processing for one minute anything that
she could answer me and give me her opinion about what’s happening
becomes relevant at the time… For example, Rosa, I think that these
to me… And then, that’s the moment I hear her voice… I close my eyes,
days… it’s impossible not to remember her… She’s so me, she’s part of
smile, and say: I’m not alone! I wish she knew how much I need her… I
Carolina… And so, these days, I can’t stop thinking about her… She’s
need all my friends, every one of them has a part of me, and my mind,
everywhere… even here in Spain! What a paradox, right?
I am reminded of everyone of my friends when I see even the stupid-
That day on the highway I exploded, I couldn’t mask my fear… When I
est detail and I love that… And I love the fact that when I go back… _I
heard those brakes and then… everything was fine… but… I thought of
hope_ they’ll be there for me and I can laugh non-stop with them… or
you, Rosa… of what happened to you. (Empty sound or change of song.
even cry… But what I fear about going back is knowing that… she… my
158 | Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
friend, the one that lately had become indispensable, the one who was,
and that it won’t be her who picks up the phone… Then I’d hear her
and is, always there, is gone… That void I feel can’t be filled with any-
voice, happy because I’m back.
thing or anyone… I guess! Every time I think of Rosa, the void becomes bigger… it’s as if I was throwing a rock into a hole and never heard it
A woman’s voice enters the room.
drop … There is a tingling in my stomach when I hear her name and I don’t want to remember her last image… And I say: It’s true! That day
AUNT: Carolina, stop chatting and finish packing that suitcase. We’re
was real… those images are real… and she’s no longer with me! I get
leaving.
confused, I don’t know if that moment happened, I want to believe that the one who was in that place wasn’t Rosa…
CAROLINA: (with a voice that pretends to be cheerful) Yes, Aunt, I’m coming!
Rosa… my aunt says we’re like flowers… that we’re here in transit, but there will always be flowers… Where did you go? I need to find you… I need to hear your voice again, your laugh, your plans, I need you to listen to me and I need to hear you say even the silliest thing in the world… I’m scared, so scared to go back and find everything a mess, nothing in its place… that my family’s disorganized, that my parents have finally carry out their threats and got a divorce, that my friends have other new friends… I’m scared that I’ll want to call Rosa to tell her about my trip
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Pecos | 159
Irma Borges ~ Venezuela
Pecos
*
We call my cousin Javier ‘Pecos’1, because his whole face is covered in
to count. I think Pecos’s dimples aren’t cute at all… and his freckles
spots. They’re freckles that the sun has drawn on him… He’s red-haired
aren’t so pretty anymore…
and he has two dimples in his face that show through when he smiles.
Could it be that Pecos fell in love with Sara only because I came here
They always appear with me because when we’re together, everything is
for the holidays?
fun… During the holidays we spent every day playing football, tag, hideand-seek…
(Excerpt from the poem anthology “Me quiere, no me quiere” 2. Special
Today we hid together and Pecos asked me if I’d ever fallen in love… and
Mention in Manuel Felipe Rugeles poetry competition 1998, revised
luckily I said no, because then he confessed that he was in love with
2001)
Sara, his neighbor. I wanted to cry. I thought Pecos was my boyfriend, the sort of boyfriend you keep in the pillow… These holidays won’t be much fun, of course, my stomach hurts and I
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don’t want to go out and play… Besides, they found us and it’s my turn
1
“Pecos” is a nickname derived from “pecas”, which means freckles. / 2 “He loves me, he loves me not”
Irma Borges Born in Caracas on February 12th, 1976. Playwright, actress and theater director. Irma has worked in professional theater and puppet companies for children in Venezuela and Spain. She worked for four years in a puppet project which aimed to raise awareness about the integration of children with disabilities in Cataluña, Madrid and Andorra. She works as a theater teacher at different educational institutes. She has written children’s plays: Street Dog (Special mention in the Puppet Drama Competition at Venezuela’s Central University in 2000 and published in the Venezuelan Anthology of Children’s Dramaturgy ‘40 Authors Searching for a Child’) and Cirque de Madera (Special mention in the Script Competition for Children: Aquiles Nazoa of the José Ángel Lamas Foundation 1999). The poems: he likes me, he likes me not, (special mention in the poetry contest for children Rugeles Manuel Felipe Venezuela 1999) She has adapted puppet shows and circus plays such as Circus Klezmer, Pin Ups (2004), and Tarara (2008). She works as both director and playwright at the Theater Company DejaVu in Barcelona, Spain.
Stamps | 161
Rodrigo Ures ~ Argentina
Stamps Characters:
and starts to grade them. She’s really concentrating on her work. Once
NORA: (60 years old. Dressed in a white school uniform)
in a while she looks at the time. The waiter approaches her.
CARMEN: (60 years old. Looks much younger. Her facial surgery is evident. Her make-up is exaggerated.)
WAITER: (almost like a boy calling a teacher) Miss, would you like
BRUNO: (14 years old. Very poor boy in shabby clothes. Sells stamps
anything?
to earn small change.) Nora looks at him and is amused by the waiter’s tone. The action takes place in a neighborhood bar, tended by its owners. There are few tables, a bar where the waiter stands.
WAITER: (CONT.) I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just that for me a woman in a white school uniform is always a teacher, a Miss.
Nora arrives at the bar. She is wearing her school’s white uniform. She
NORA: Don’t worry.
sits down, looks at the time. She takes a pile of notebooks from her bag She shows him her hand without a ring.
162 | Rodrigo Ures ~ Argentina
NORA: (CONT.) I am a Miss. I never got married and at this point
CARMEN: I’ve just had my wallet stolen. (speaking quickly) It’s not
I don’t think I ever will. (joking) You can see my spinster mustache,
just the money, it’s my IDs, my credit cards, some documents .
can’t you?
NORA: Calm down, I’ll ask the waiter for a glass of water.
The waiter gets uncomfortable.
Carmen stays looking at her.
NORA: (CONT.) Don’t feel bad. It was a joke. I learned to laugh at
CARMEN: (suddenly) Nora. Don’t you remember me?
myself. Get me a café latte, please.
NORA: (sincere) Not really. CARMEN: (whispering) This is between you and me, I had some work
The waiter leaves. Carmen enters, fanning herself with her hand. She’s
done. (touches her face) A refreshment. (frivolous… she forgot about
very nervous. She sits at a table.
the wallet) Don’t I look great?
CARMEN: (talking to herself) It’s unbelievable… it’s unbelievable.
Nora still doesn’t recognize her.
Nora looks at her, when she sees her worried she approaches Carmen’s
CARMEN: (CONT.) My surgeon says he took 10 years off of me. I think
table.
he took more. On the streets I get tons of compliments… and me… a lady. (whispering like before) This is between you and me, but… once in
NORA: Do you feel well, ma’am?
a while I let go and enjoy myself…
Stamps | 163
Nora blushes.
NORA: (CONT.) To think, five minutes ago you couldn’t stop whining and now…
CARMEN: (CONT.) What, you still haven’t realized who I am? NORA: Not really.
Carmen goes back to her initial state of mind.
CARMEN: Oh, Nora. Always with your head in the clouds. I’m Carmen. CARMEN: (Melodramatic) Don’t remind me. My wallet was stolen. I’m Nora can’t believe it.
sure it was some (derogatory) “villeritos”* who came begging. I’m sure
NORA: ¿Carmen? ¿Carmen Domínguez?
erty that afflicts them, and what do they do? They rip you off. That “rip
it was them. It’s unbelievable, you try to be charitable, think of the povCARMEN: Shhhh!!! Get that Domínguez out of your mouth. Since I got
you off” sounds very blunt. (horrified) Oh, no, the Domínguez in me
married I use my husband’s last name.
came out.
NORA: Lion? (pronounces it in Spanish, “Lee-on”) How is Pedro?
NORA: Are you sure? Did you have a good look?
CARMEN: (corrects her, pronounces in English) Lion... It’s more chic.
CARMEN: You think I’m stupid. Of course I had a good look.
Nora looks at her, thinking “Poor thing… she’s got it bad.”
The waiter arrives, he brings Nora’s café latte.
NORA: (teasing) Such a lioness.
NORA: You have it. It’ll do you good.
Carmen takes it as a compliment and roars like a lion. Nora bites her lip.
Carmen looks at Nora’s uniform.
CARMEN: Thank you, darling.
*Villeritos: despective for little boys who lives in villas de emergencia
164 | Rodrigo Ures ~ Argentina
CARMEN: (CONT. In-between amazement and fear) I can’t believe
CARMEN: (in a comforting tone… she doesn’t even believe it) You got
you’re still in education. I imagine that at your age you’re already the
married to education.
district inspector. NORA: No, I could have been but I’m not. (With pride) I’m still a
Nora looks at her, serious.
teacher. To me, children are everything, I’m happy with them. CARMEN: (funny) Don’t go on, you’ll make me cry. Sarmiento* can’t
CARMEN: (CONT.) It’s symbolic, you know. It’s like nuns who marry
hold a candle to you. Stop messing around… at your age. Dealing with
God. You understand?
children, their parents, their snot, their lice, their… NORA: (nostalgic) I gave them my life…
Nora feels sorry to see that her friend is so stupid and superficial.
CARMEN: And your husband, your children… what do they say? NORA: (Ashamed) I never got married.
NORA: Did I ask you about Pedro? How is he? CARMEN: Peter turned out to be a scoundrel. A womanizer. I’m still
Nora’s eyes fill with tears.
with him. Well! With him in a manner of speaking. I had to put him in a
CARMEN: I’m sorry.
It was a relief to me… I started to live again. I’m a new person.
home for the elderly…. His head started to malfunction. (Taps her head) NORA: It’s fine, don’t worry.
NORA: (Sincere) Yes, I see.
Carmen understands that she messed up. She wants to fix it and keeps
CARMEN: My children got very angry with me when I made the deci-
making it worse.
sion to institutionalize him. But if I didn’t lock him up, they’d have to lock me up
*Domingo Faustino Sarmiento (1811–1888), Argentine president who promoted education.
Stamps | 165
Nora can’t believe it.
CARMEN: No, my love. I erased by wasted time as a teacher from my
CARMEN: (CONT.) I still visit him once a month. I love it! Some peo-
daughter to school and they had to take me out in an ambulance. I got
memory. I see a school and I get hives. The other day I took my grandple think I’m his daughter.
nausea and cramps just thinking that I lost years of my life wrapped in a white overall.
Nora moves her head.
NORA: What’s your granddaughter’s name? CARMEN: Carolina, but I call her Caroline.
CARMEN: (CONT.) Besides, there’s a nurse who looks delicious.
NORA: (In a “Oh! How silly of me” tone) Oh, Caroline.
(celebrates)
CARMEN: (exaggerated) The little brat’s unbearable, just like her
NORA: Poor Pedro, he’s an excellent person.
mother. (explaining) I’m talking about my daughter-in-law. Not my
CARMEN: That’s right, you liked him.
daughter, no, she’s a little submissive… but she’s good.
She blushes.
NORA: (in a “teacher” tone) Carmen, you can’t talk about your family like that.
NORA: Don’t talk nonsense. He was a good friend. He treated you like
CARMEN: (setting things straight) Look, Norita, don’t go teaching me
a princess. I remember when he came to pick you up at school. The chil-
lessons. I’m not your student and you’re not my… “Miss”
dren loved him. You remember the football tournaments he organized?
NORA: You’re right, I’m sorry. (slips out) It’s just that sometimes I think God gives hats to those with no head.
Nora can’t believe what she’s saying.
CARMEN: That comment sounded aggressive.
166 | Rodrigo Ures ~ Argentina
NORA: It wasn’t my intention. It’s just… (nostalgic) I would’ve loved
When their eyes meet, they recognize each other.
to start a family and… NORA: (CONT.) Bruno? Bruno comes in leaving stamps with religious figures on the table. He
BRUNO: (immensely happy) Miss Nora.
doesn’t show himself… he walks with his head down. Bruno hugs her. They’re both moved. Carmen takes a stamp of Saint Anthony.
NORA: You don’t know how much I suffered when you stopped com-
CARMEN: Look, here’s the prayer of Saint Anthony. Pray to him, per-
ing to school.
haps he’ll get you a boyfriend.
BRUNO: I suffered very much, too. It was my home.
NORA: And here is Saint Donatus, the saint of lost things. (ironic) Per-
NORA: I went to look for you in the villa* and they told me you’d left.
haps he’ll help you find your wallet.
BRUNO: Yes, my dad found some odd jobs in the province and we went there.
Carmen stands up. CARMEN: Pardon me, I have to go to the toilet.
She looks for something in her folder. Pulls out a faded old letter.
Leaves. Bruno approaches to get the stamps. He picks them up almost automatically.
NORA: Look, I always have it with me. BRUNO: (surprised) That letter. You still have it.
NORA: No, wait. I’ll buy this one.
NORA: How could I not have it? It’s the most beautiful letter I ever received.
*
“Villas de emergencia” are very low-income neighborhoods in marginal zones of Argentina.
Stamps | 167
BRUNO: I wrote it during my mom’s funeral. (his eyes fill with tears)
CARMEN: (furious, yelling) The thief… The thief… he stole my wallet.
I was very angry with God. I was very sad but you were with me at all
I was with the other ones who were begging. (overexcited) I’m calling the
times. It’s true, my mom had died… but I still had someone… you. And
police. (screaming) Police! Police!
that’s what I tried to tell you in the letter.
BRUNO: (desperate, childlike) I didn’t steal anything, Miss. Believe
NORA: This letter fills a lot of holes I have in my heart. Because of this
me… I didn’t steal anything. Nora hugs him.
letter, I’m a mother. This letter ennobles my vocation. NORA: I believe you, Bruno, I believe you. I know you’re incapable of Bruno shows her a medal that hangs around his neck.
doing something like that.
BRUNO: Remember?
Bruno is very upset, and crying hysterically.
NORA: How could I not remember? The medal for the best student. BRUNO: I had your name engraved on it. It’s a way of having you
BRUNO: Really, Miss. I didn’t steal anything. I didn’t steal anything.
always present with me.
NORA: I believe you, Bruno. (serious) I’d stake my neck out for you.
Nora is moved. Carmen comes back from the bathroom. She’s surprised
taxi to take you to a neck doctor. This…
CARMEN: (very ironic) You’re so sure. If I were you, I’d be calling a when she sees Bruno.
NORA: (cuts her off) Be very careful of what you’re about to say.
NORA: This is Bruno, my…
CARMEN: (to Bruno) Tell the truth. Did I or did I not give you a collaboration a while ago? BRUNO: Yes, twenty cents.
168 | Rodrigo Ures ~ Argentina
CARMEN: (furious, correcting him) Twenty-five, twenty five (as if it
BRUNO: No, please.
were $100). (indignant) Look at him, so ungrateful, he thinks twenty
NORA: I’m inviting you.
cents is nothing. Of course the cash in my wallet was a lot more, wasn’t
BRUNO: Thank you.
it? (Her eyes pop out of her head) THIEF! BRUNO: Miss, I swear, I didn’t steal anything. The lady’s lying.
Nora takes his hands.
CARMEN: You also treat me like a liar. NORA: (to Bruno) Please, calm down.
NORA: So? Tell me. What’s your life like?
CARMEN: (ironic) This is what giving so many years to education was
BRUNO: (Ashamed) You saw me? Selling stamps. Sometimes I do
good for. To form thieves. If I was your teacher, I’d give you a failing
some odd jobs, but…
grade IN RED.
NORA: (suddenly, like it’s the only thing that matters to her) Are you happy?
Carmen’s cell phone rings.
BRUNO: I try to be. I have a very good partner…
CARMEN: (CONT. In a sugary tone) Hello… Ramona… Tell me… What
NORA: (happy) Partner?
do you mean I left my wallet on your coffee table?
BRUNO: When we found out we were expecting a child we started living together. We joined up, you know?
When she feels uncovered she stands up and leaves without saying good-
NORA: You’re a dad?
bye. Nora waves with her hand, ironically. Shakes her head. She feels
BRUNO: Yes, of a beautiful girl. She’s the light of my life. She has
ashamed for her. Then she calls the waiter. The waiter approaches.
your name.
NORA: Please, a complete sandwich and two sodas.
NORA: (moved and excited) Really? I want to meet her.
Stamps | 169
BRUNO: We live in the train station.
NORA: It’s a deal.
NORA: (excited) I have some space in my house and… I can help you
Some of Bruno’s stamps fall to the ground. They both crouch to pick
get back to your studies…
them up. Nora takes one with the holy family. NORA: Look... the holy family.
Bruno can’t believe it.
BRUNO: Yes, let’s light a candle to them. They stand up and leave.
BRUNO: Really? NORA: Of course. (smiling) But beware, I’m a fearsome teacher. BRUNO: No, that can’t be. You’re terrific. The waiter arrives with the sandwich and the sodas. Nora pays him. NORA: Come on. I want to meet Nora… (besotted) What’s she like? Does she look like you? Can she call me Grandma? Bruno smiles at her and continues to look at her BRUNO: Yes, but on one condition. NORA: (disoriented) Which one? BRUNO: If you’ll let me call you Mom. Shakes her hand as if sealing a deal.
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Rodrigo Ures
Born in Buenos Aires in 1972. Rodrigo graduated from the first class of Filmmakers and Television Producers and is also a National Recreation and Technical Primary School Teacher. He has extensive experience in the field of culture for children and young people, through his work at the Center for Documentation on the work of María Elena Walsh, created in 1994.
He is the author of several books for children including “Hats” (forthcoming) which received the recommendation of the International House of America. Jury (Cuba 2002). His play “Rock, Paper or Scissors” received the first mention at the First Puppet Shows Playwright Contest organized by the Argentine Puppets Museum and the magazine “Barco de Papel”. As a journalist he was responsible for more than a hundred interviews with personalities from the arts and culture. These were published in a book called “Voices of the River Plate.” He was a coordinator of educational projects at national and regional development projects in Buenos Aires, Mexico, Venezuela and Costa Rica
A Boy from Buey Arriba | 171
Yaqui Saiz ~ Cuba
A Boy from Buey Arriba Characters
Scene one
Esteban Fuentes, Country boy: Table-top puppet with rods in his hands, fingerstalls in his ankles, and a handle in his head. To be ani-
Sounds that suggest night in the countryside. Faint lights show the veg-
mated by two puppeteers.
etation and a mountain of the Sierra Maestra. On the lower side of the
El Che: Table-top puppet with handles in his ankles and head. To be
stage is the plain. A guerilla-puppeteer stealthily pokes out his head and
animated by two puppeteers.
looks out with binoculars, exploring the land, he makes a noise with his hands imitating an owl, he makes a signal and another guerilla-puppet-
Four puppeteer-guerillas dressed for battle
eer appears stage right, this one explores the downstage area and hides behind the mountain. Both puppeteers poke out their heads from both sides of the scenery and make signals. Two well-armed guerilla-puppeteers appear from stage left, one escorting the other, this one hides Commander Ernesto Che Guevara who has a strong asthma attack in a backpack. There’s tension between the guerillas, they take Che carefully and
172 | Yaqui Saiz ~ Cuba
place him between the bushes, they cover him in leaves and immedi-
around and ran away like his soul was driven by the wind. (Points the
ately, a shooting starts. The guerillas hide in the thicket and the shoot-
gun again, making sounds of shooting) Stop, coward! (Looks at the sky)
ing stops. Daylight starts filtering through. From the side of the moun-
An airplane, shoot, we have to bring it down! (Keeps making sounds of
tain, walking along the creek, a barefoot 12-year-old country boy enters
shooting. By mistake, he shoots the gun once and a coconut drops on
onto the stage.
his head. He stays lying on the ground) God damn it!
Esteban: (Sings a décima1 and throws paper balls at the bushes with
Che: (Watches, hiding in the bushes) Pssssss, pssss…!
a rock-thrower) (He finds a machine-gun on the rivershore, he looks around carefully
Esteban: (Stands up and hides behind a coconut tree) Who’s there?
and takes it in his hands) This machine-gun must belong to some rebel!
Whoever it is, come up with your hands in the air, I have a gun and I
What a shooting we heard last night! (Points with the gun and imitates
can shoot! (Looks at his hands and notices he lost the gun) Oh, Mommy!
the sound of shooting) Go on, guerillas, shoot the enemy! (He creeps along the bushes, jumps and spins around) Surrender, cowards, we have
Che: (Out of breath, very weakly) Come here, help me!
you surrounded! (Points the gun at a coconut like it’s the enemy and interrogates it) Come out with your hands in the air, nobody’s going
Esteban: (Creeps along the floor until he gets the gun, he stands up in
to shoot you! How many casquitos2 are there in the area, what sort of
front of the bushes with his legs trembling, pointing with the gun and
weapons do they have? Confess, compay3! (Stops the game, bursts out
stuttering) Come out of the bushes with your hands on your head!
laughing) The rebels scared the casquitos! I don’t think this machine
Che: (With his hands on the back of his neck tries to stand up, falls to
gun belongs to a rebel, I’m sure it belongs to a casquito who left it lying
the ground) Help me, pibe1! (He gets more and more breathless)
1
A traditional form of song with four ten-line stanzas / 2 Soldiers from Batista’s government / 3 Short for ‘compañero’, which means ‘partner’
A Boy from Buey Arriba | 173
Esteban: (Lowers the gun and drags him to a bush near the river, he
There’s a puppet sequence supported by music. Esteban tries to carry
gives him water to drink from his hands) Have some water, compay! Are
Che, but after a few steps they both fall to the ground, he grabs him
you hurt?
by the leg, then by an arm, he hoists him onto his back and moves forward a bit, then they fall down again, he helps him stand, he puts one
Che: (With troubled speaking) No, pibe, it’s just an asthma attack. You have to help me get out of here.
of Che’s arms around his neck and they try to walk, they fall down again, he takes him by the arm, by a leg, and tries to move him, but he can’t. He finds a palm leaf, lies him down on top of it and pulls him to the
Esteban: You’re suffocating, compay. Are you a fighter?
coconut tree.
Che: I’m a rebel. Pibe, I need you to help me climb the Sierra, if I stay
Esteban: If we climb the tree, we’ll go faster.
here the casquitos will catch me. (Takes out a small notebook, writes in it, and puts it away)
Che: What’s your name?
Esteban: None of that, no one’s gonna catch you, I’ll get you to the
Esteban: Esteban Fuentes, and I’m from Buey Arriba! And yours?
Sierra! (transition) You must be from La Habana? Sure that accent’s from there! Let’s go, compay, with some good weather we’ll be up there
Che: Ernesto! And that gun, do you know how to use it?
by noon tomorrow!
Esteban: No, I found it a while ago, but if the army comes, I’ll use it against them. Now I’ll get the gun to the top of the tree first and then come back for you.
1
Argentinian slang for ‘kid’
174 | Yaqui Saiz ~ Cuba
Che: And I’ll teach you to use it. (While Esteban climbs the tree, he
Scene two
pulls out his notebook and takes notes) Esteban: (Breathless) We did it, compay! (He stands at the edge of the Esteban: Up, Ernesto, it’s noon and the sun burns!
cliff and looks down) We saved ourselves half a day of walking! I’ll get us
Esteban pulls Che up and gets him to the tree, he joins his hands so the
something to eat and to calm that tight chest you have.
guerilla can put a foot there and boost him up, but they can’t do it. Esteban crouches, the guerilla sits on his shoulders and he makes a great
Che: (Takes his notebooks) Esteban Fuentes, a boy from Buey Arriba
effort to stand up, but he can’t get off the ground. He climbs the tree
helps me leave the plain. We’re entering the Sierra Maestra…
and gives Che a hand, they start to climb, when they’re almost to the top
Esteban runs out of the bushes, he’s being chased by a Majá Santa
they slip, they start again, this time they make it. Esteban grabs a palm
María1 snake. There’s another puppet sequence. The snake catches
leaf, releases his legs from the trunk, they swing to gather impulse and
Esteban, Che grabs it by the tail and pulls, the animal splits into two
fall in the middle of the mountain.
but keeps moving everywhere. Esteban jumps on top of it, takes it by the neck, and finally kills it. Che lies down on a rock. Che: (Breathless, with almost no strength) That animal almost scared me to death! Esteban: That’s a Santa María, Ernesto, and it won’t kill you, it’ll save you! We just killed two birds with one stone! We’ll eat and with the hot
1
Epicrates angulifer, also known as the Cuban Tree Boa
A Boy from Buey Arriba | 175
butter spread over your chest and back, you’ll see how you get better.
Che: It’s where you write down all the adventures you live day by day.
(While Esteban sings, gathers dry wood, lights a fire to fry the meat and
And today’s been a day filled with adventures. You’re quite an event in
warm the butter, Che writes in his notebook. Night falls) All done! (He
my life. Can you read and write?
spreads butter over Che’s chest and back) Esteban: No Che: (Picks up the gun) Now pay attention here, look well… Here you go. And don’t you jam it, pibe! (Takes a piece of meat and eats it)
Che: Well, I’ll teach you at the camp!
Esteban: (Repeats everything. Accidentally fires a shot)
Esteban: Now sleep easily; I’ll stay all night on guard and keep the
Che: Damn it, pibe, between the fire and your shots we’re a sure target
rilla. During the course of the night he practices loading his gun over
for the casquitos! (Writes in his notebook again)
and over.) I already have a gun, I can use it, tomorrow when the sun’s at
fire burning so it gives you heat. (Looks for dry twigs to cover the guer-
its highest point we’ll be in the rebel camp and I’ll join them. They say Esteban: Why do you write in that notebook so much?
that Che Guevara’s with them. How do the Argentineans speak? I’m sure I won’t understand anything he says! From up here I can see the whole
Che: It’s a diary.
plain, if anyone approaches, I’ll shoot. (He sits on top of a rock to stand guard, he falls asleep.)
Esteban: And what’s a diary?
176 | Yaqui Saiz ~ Cuba
Che wakes up, it’s dawning, he sees Esteban sleeping, shakes his head
Che: One day we were writing a condolence letter to Frank País, because
and laughs. He removes the evidence of the fireplace and stands near
of his brother Josué’s death. Next to each signature, the guerrillas had
the boy.
to put our Rank. Che didn’t know what his rank was, so Fidel told him, “Write Commander!”. And that was it, he gave him a star.
Che: Up, guerrilla, on your feet! The day’s upon us! Esteban: That simple? Esteban: Did the tightness in your chest clear out? Thank goodness! Really, having to carry you up the rest of the hill is no easy feat, instead
Che: During battle, there’s no time for military promotion ceremonies.
of one sick man we’d be two. And I want to be healthy so I can meet Che Guevara and ask him to accept me in his guerrilla.
Esteban: Do you think Commander Che Guevara will accept me into his column?
Che: (Laughs) Che: First we have to get there, pibe, then we’ll see what Che says, so Esteban: Do you know him? Che: (Laughs even more) Yes, pibe, I know him well.
let’s keep walking. Music, the trip is another puppet sequence, this time they have to climb over big rocks. Esteban uses his hands to boost the guerrilla from his
Esteban: And how is it that he became a commander of the rebel army, being from Argentina?
feet, then Che holds out a hand to him. Che hoists him onto his shoul-
A Boy from Buey Arriba | 177
ders so he can reach the next level, they both slip. They have to climb again. This time they make it.
The puppeteers uncover the camp, which is camouflaged. Esteban takes the gun and makes shooting noises, jumps around, climbs onto the roof, slides down. Everyone laughs.
Scene three
Esteban: Down with Batista! Long live the rebel army! (He acciden-
Che: We’re here, Esteban!
ger to his mouth.)
Esteban: And the guerrillas?
Che: Esteban Fuentes, stop playing around, that’s a weapon, not a toy!
tally fires a shot, one of the puppeteers shakes a hand and brings a fin-
Puppeteers: Here! (Esteban looks at the puppeteers, surprised) Do you bring visitors, Commander?
Esteban: Yes, sir, Commander!
Esteban: What do you mean, “Commander”?
Che: (To the puppeteers) Take him to the kitchen and give him something to eat! I have to talk to Fidel.
Che: This boy saved my life! (He puts his hand on Esteban’s head) Pibe, I am Che Guevara! And since yesterday, you belong to the rebel army.
One of the puppeteers puts his hand on the puppet table. Esteban
This is the camp!
climbs up. End music. Esteban and the guerrilla-puppeteers stay still looking at Che.
178 | Yaqui Saiz ~ Cuba CAST
Che opens his diary and reads as he writes. Che: April 1958, Esteban Fuentes and I arrived at the camp… Background music increases its volume and the lights go down. In the shadows, the image of Fidel is projected. Yaqui Saiz, Cuba (*1977) Director, designer, actress – Puppeteer and Puppets playwright of Nueva Línea Company. Member of UNIMA and the National Union of Writers and Artists of Cuba. Her books ‘El juego de Yaqui’ (Yaqui’s game) and Pocker, both about puppets technics were published by the Scenic Arts of Cuba Tables Alarcos and Aries Editorial (Argentina) She has received more than thirty National and International prizes in the categories of animation, staging, set and puppets design and music. She also received the silver medal in the 2nd International Festival of marionettes in Hanoi, Viet Nam 2010. Nowadays she gives Puppets technics workshops for professional companies and schools of Art. From 2005 she worked as adviser in design, playwriting and direction in different puppeteers companies.
final Production faCE mE time of transition The production is inspired by the texts… Liv Heløe (NO) IN tHE WINDoW, Nora Mansmann (DE) SElma, Giuditta Mingucci (IT) BEforE tHE JoUrNEY, Bouke Oldenhof (NL) tHaNK YoU, István Tasnádi (HU) PraNK, Péter Horváth (HU) BlaCK StoNE, Richard Hurford (GB) JaCK & DaNIEl’S SPECtaCUlar ComEDY GUIDE to GIrlS, Petr Vodicˇka (CZ) tHE BooK of PUBErtoSIS Direction Petr Vodicˇka (CZ), Lotte Lohrengel (NL), Ivana Sajevic (DE), Tom Bellerby (GB), Alex Evans (GB), Miguel Moreira (PT), György Vidovszky (HU) Set / Costume Design Ilaria Ariemme (IT), Inga Vares (EE), Patrick Bullock (GB) Performing Marta Abreu (PT), Rita Alexics (HU), Eva Docolomanská (SK), Martina Hartmannová (CZ), Giuditta Mingucci (IT), Annina Rokka (FI), Lies van de Wiel (NL), Ratih Windrati (NO), Joseph Angyal (NO), Patrick Borck (DE), Peter Butkowsky (SK), Bohuslav Holý (CZ), Mikko Korsulainen (FI), Ago Soots (EE), Edward Wren (GB) and Students from Gymnázium Františka Krˇižíka (at the 3 performances in Pilsen) Production ALFA theatre Pilsen (CZ) & PLATFORM 11+ Opening Pilsen (CZ) June 18th, 2012
| 179
15 New
Theatre Plays froM EuroPE & SouTH AMErIcA For young people aged 11–15
All of the plays presented are on the accompanying CD (printing layout A4)
At the end of its lifespan, PLATFORM 11+ wanted to extend the group of authors, writing for the age group of 11–15 years old: The theatres were called upon to initiate the emergence of more new texts in their countries. Most of the theatres announced a ‘National Playwright’s Contest’ or commissioned new writers. The result is 15 new plays.
TIBor VokouN ~ SLoVAkIA
Salto mortale Salto Mortale
Theatre Institute ~ Bratislava, Slovakia Š www.theatre.sk
182 | Tibor Vokoun ~ Slovakia Summary
Text Extract
The play is about a young man named Peter and his friends, who have
…
all just finished high school. Peter does not have a good relationship with his father, a former circus artist, and his mother left them a long
Scene 3
time ago. Peter is a sensible young man and does not let the environ-
Three months later. Cellar, rehearsal room. The left section of the stage,
ment around him mess with his head, despite the friends he has. One
which served as the stage before, now with musical instruments. There’s
of his friends, a drug dealer, finds dealing to be the easiest way to
an old couch and a stove in the corner. Peter is asleep on the couch.
earn money. Other friends are children of rich and important people
Dealer enters and starts tuning his instrument. Peter wakes up. Dealer
and money opens the way to university for them. The play examines the
is startled.
power of friendship, the relationships between young people and their parents, and the uncertainty of the future. The (un)happy ending shows,
Dealer: Shit! You fucking scared me. What are you doing here?
how one bad decision can lead to a deadly consequence. It is a story about love and despair, the strongest emotions that have to be dealt with
Peter: Nothing. Took a nap.
by such young people. Dealer: Hold on a minute. You spent the night here. Oh I get it… with Julka.
Salto Mortale | 183
Peter: No, I didn’t. Dad came home hammered and we had a row. So I came here.
Dealer: Assholes! As if there weren’t enough superstores. What can you do though? Do you have some dough at least? (Peter shakes his head.) You have shit! Here’s a fifty.
Dealer: Right thing to do. I’ve told you so many times you should get something on your own and leave him in the fucking caravan by himself.
Peter: Don’t want it.
Peter: I can’t do that. He needs me. But starting next month I’ll move
for it. Food, an apartment, health, honor, conscience, whatever you want,
in here for good.
you can get everything.
Dealer: Why’s that?
Peter: Not everything.
Dealer: I know… I know. It’s dirty money to you. But you can get stuff
Peter: We got a letter. The parking lot on the edge of town was bought
Dealer: OK, so go see a doctor without cash in an envelope! He’ll pre-
by some development corporation. They want to build a superstore there.
scribe you aspirin for a broken leg. Go to a lawyer, go to the city coun-
We have to vacate the place by the end of the month. We also have to
cil to get an apartment assigned. How many years ago did you send the
relocate our mobile home – which is what they called our caravan. But
application? You’re nothing without money. You’re nobody. You’ll end up
relocate where?
homeless. You think someone in college cares that you were top of the class? They don’t give a shit! You didn’t pay. I did. I gave them my dirty money. And they didn’t seem disgusted at all. Can you imagine? They took it just like that. Who do you think they’ll enrol? Wanna bet? You or
184 | Tibor Vokoun ~ Slovakia
me? (Notices Peter’s watch.) And why don’t you throw that crap away? Why do you keep wearing it? It only worked for a couple of days anyway.
BMW: After the rehearsal, I’ll let you steal a glance at my new love. I finally managed to rip some 40 grand off my old man. He bought me a BMW as a graduation gift.
Peter: ‘Cause it’s from my dad. But you’re not going to understand that. Dealer: All right, all right… I just want to help you. My offer still stands.
Dealer: (looking at Peter) See, you gotta be loaded.
I supply the stuff. All you need to do is sell some ten hits every day and you’re out of the woods.
Casanova: This chick told me last night that my dick’s like a rock.
Peter: And I’m gonna end up homeless and you go to jail! And what
Dealer: So small?
about my conscience? Doesn’t it bother you that you’re making money out of the poor junkies?
Casanova: So hard, asshole.
Dealer: You know why I’m doing it. If I don’t sell the shit to them,
BMW: Dad was a bit of a softie. Apparently he was given the green light
someone else will. I don’t force them to take drugs. They come to me
to build a supermarket on this piece of land he bought. So I just took
and beg me. (Casanova and BMW enter. Dealer becomes silent at once.)
advantage.
Casanova: Guys, I gotta get out of here at seven. I got this chick in
Dealer: (Looks at Peter who is strumming a tune quietly.) Guys, but
the works. She’s quite something. Her legs go all the way up to her neck,
money’s not everything.
man. (Sitting down, they pick up their instruments. Rehearsal is about to begin.)
Salto Mortale | 185
BMW: He owned up and said that this business is gonna earn him at
BMW: Accelerates from 0 to 100 in 7.2 seconds.
least half a million. So I guess the 40 grand for the whispering flowers under the hood is worth it.
Peter: What do you think about this? (Strums a new tune.)
Casanova: She said it was the best sex she ever had.
BMW: I’ll play you a tune, dude, a sonata in B major. When I start the car, Tchaikovsky can go fuck himself.
Dealer: How old is she? Fourteen? Casanova: I once had a chick who fucked in triple time. What a sonata Casanova: Twenty-eight. Just married. BMW: 6-speed manual transmission…
that was, man. Dealer: Yeah, but weren’t you off beat? I mean, it happens to you a lot when we play.
Casanova: She said I’m like a German shepherd… just unleashed… BMW: D’you know how hard it is to hold back 240 horsepower? Dealer: 28-years old, recently castrated… Casanova: I gotta hold back when I see nipples underneath a shirt. BMW: Guys, it’s an 8-cylinder… Dealer: (to Peter) I gotta hold back when I see this fucking upstart drivCasanova: I’m a 1-cylinder, but turbo!
ing a BMW. It’s because of him you have to relocate your caravan. You think this is clean money?! Think!
186 | Tibor Vokoun ~ Slovakia
Peter: (Jumps up, annoyed.) Are we gonna rehearse now, or do you want to fuck chicks in BMWs? I could’ve gone to work a shift at Tesco’s.
Julka: All right, I’d like to be in fine feather on your leather first and then see the sunrise. (They all gape in surprise.) But you would have to lend Peter the BMW and me the keys to your cabin. (Walks up to Peter.)
Dealer: (derisively) Yeah, and you could’ve made at least 15 Euros – clean money! (The boys laugh. Peter gets up to leave.)
Casanova: (to BMW) So we’re gonna beat the meat in the cellar. (Dealer laughs at them.)
Peter: You make me fucking sick! (Julka enters.) Julka: What can you offer, Peter? My folks are not home tomorrow. Casanova: Ciao, my love! Peter just asked me to show you sunrise over the lake by my cabin in the woods.
Peter: Well… we could go to the movies.
Julka: If Peter goes too, I’ll be happy to see it.
Casanova: What a dumb ass!
BMW: Oh well but you’d have to go in his old creaking caravan. But on
Julka: Movies it is. What time?
my shiny leather you will be in fine feather. Got a new BMW, you know, leather seats, top of the line.
Peter: Six on our bench. OK, so are we playing or not? (Peter starts. This should be a slow song in which each of the boys improvises the lyrics, in a witty way, to profess their love to Julka. Ultimately, the song becomes a duet sung by Peter and Julka.)
Salto Mortale | 187 Scene 4
(Peter moves towards Julka, as if he could not bear the comments any
The bench.
longer.)
Julka enters, carrying a suitcase, a bag or backpack. She walks to the bench. A brief sketch about waiting. She is visibly nervous and
BMW: Wait Prince Charming! You’re not gonna get to her that easy!
exhausted. After a while, she lies down on the bench and falls asleep.
Can’t you see the rosebushes the kingdom is overgrown with? You have
Peter enters. He looks at Julka, not knowing what to do. The boys are
to cut your way through first.
still sitting in the rehearsal room on the left, in dimmed light. Peter can hear their advice.
Casanova: Absolutely! Get out your huge… sword and go straight after the treasure… under her skirt. (Peter is still standing over Julka, smiling
Casanova: Don’t stand around like a moron! Jump at her.
about his friends’ advice.)
BMW: What are you, Prince Charming knocked out of his wits when he
Dealer: (Julka moves, but does not wake up.) Look, it seems she took
saw Sleeping Beauty?
some shit that was seriously cut and weak. I didn’t sell her that shit. I only sell good stuff.
Dealer: She’s fast asleep as if she’s just had a hit from my goodies. I swear to God I didn’t sell her anything. Not a gram. That’d be some seri-
BMW: Hold on, Sleeping Beauty was a junkie?
ous fun, man. Dealer: I don’t know. Maybe. But if she was, the bad fairy must have been a dealer.
188 | Tibor Vokoun ~ Slovakia
BMW: See how they lie to the poor children? I was told that she was
Peter: Shut up! (Julka looks at him in disbelief.) I’m sorry. That… it…
put under a spell and that the prince, in our case our dumbass, had to
I wasn’t talking to you. I mean, I was just… thinking about something
kiss her to wake her up.
and… I just… I wanted to awaken Sleeping Beauty… I mean, well, you were sleeping here like… like a… sleeping beauty.
Casanova: Kiss her where? Julka: And you woke me up with a kiss? Dealer: Surely not where you’d like to kiss her. Peter: Well… no… with grass. Casanova: I kissed a girl once and she only woke up during orgasm. Dealer: I didn’t sell him any grass either. Peter: Your orgasm? Julka: So I guess we’re going to have to do it again. (Julka lies back (Peter, as if trying to drive away these distracting thoughts, moves res-
down on the bench. Peter is bemused. He is not used to this kind of dis-
olutely towards Julka. He finds a leaf of grass and tickles Julka’s face.
play of affection.)
Julka jolts and wakes up.) Casanova: Wow! She’s kinda horny. But he doesn’t have the guts! Casanova: Was that supposed to be an orgasm? Dealer: Peter, I bet you’ve never kissed her.
Salto Mortale | 189
Peter: So what? (Julka lifts her head, perplexed. Then she closes her
Julka: I wish I’d never even woken up.
eyes again.) Peter: What are you saying? What happened? (Notices the suitcase.) Julka: I’m waiting! (Peter comes closer and gives her a long kiss.) Julka: I left home. Got the letter from the university. I was rejected. Casanova: Yeah… yeah… it looks like they got glued together now.
Dad started yelling that it’s because I hang out with you and the guys. So I just left.
Peter: (Finishes the kiss. Wipes his mouth and says dryly.) Why do I have to save the entire kingdom?
Dealer: You don’t pay, you don’t study!
Dealer: OK, wanna swap? I’ll be the saviour now.
BMW: My college application cost my penny-pinching dad three grand.
Peter: You have a smelly breath!
Peter: Julka, I guess you should stop seeing me. I’m not good for you.
Julka: Excuse me?
Julka: You talk like my father now.
Peter: No… I… I just wanted to say that I can smell… the gum…
Peter: He’s probably right. You know, I don’t see my future in very
you’re chewing. (He grabs Julka and gives her another long kiss.)
bright colors. You should go home. They’ll be worried.
190 | Tibor Vokoun ~ Slovakia
Julka: Who’ll be worried? Dad won’t notice that I left until a month
Julka: But I’m afraid of the landlord. He’s kind of weird.
from now when he comes back home from England for three days. And mom, well, she’s happy to show off with this guy who’s her boss at the
Peter: Don’t worry. Come on!
company… only to play the happy wife again – for three days. I don’t want to go back there, Peter. I want to be with you. I like you.
…
Peter: I’m sorry, but you never told me this. (Julka is crying.) I like you too.
Translation Ivan Lacko
Casanova: Tell her she can sleep over in our cellar. (Starts showing off, testing the couch.)
Tibor Vokoun (born 1956) studied acting at the Academy of Performing Arts in Bratislava. As an actor, he
Peter: But not with you.
worked in several theatres in Slovakia, mostly in the Ján Palárik Theatre in Trnava. He appears regularly in Slovak
Casanova: You know my rule is, that if you want to take something
films and TV Series and he also works in the dubbing
intelligent to bed, you should grab a book.
studios. His relationship to children’s theatre developed in his home theatre in Trnava, which used to specialize
Peter: Maybe you could sleep over in the rehearsal room.
in performances for children and youth, as Theatre for Youth and Children.
feed | 191
SHIrEEN MuLA ~ GrEAT BrITAIN
feed Feed
Emergency Exit Arts ~ London, Great Britain © www.eea.org.uk
192 | Shireen Mula ~ Great Britain Summary
Text Extract
This short piece for three characters is an exploration of traditions kept
…
alive in the face of modernity; of changing times and entrenched habits.
DAUGHTER begins, MUM follows and then DAD.
European multiculturalism forces many of us to question our heritage, our ‘first’ language and our parents’ past. Keeping the ‘old country’ alive
We’re in the computer room – my Dad and I.
in a new country is a difficult and delicate balancing act.
After dinner.
The young daughter of a couple describes her daily routine ‘after din-
After dinner.
ner, every day’ – time spent with her father in a repetitive programme
Every day.
Every day.
of repetitive reading… in a language neither of them understand. The
We’re reading.
pent up frustrations of the girl come to a verbal and physical head as
The 2 of us reading.
she explodes with anger and confusion about the reasons behind this
My dad will read a line, then I will repeat it.
seemingly pointless activity.
We’ll go down the page like this, just like this.
We are left with the resumption of the process, with understanding, for-
Read a line, repeat.
giveness and love.
Read a line, repeat. It’s only reading. It’s just reading. We’re only reading.
Feed | 193
DAUGHTER: And everyday after dinner I look at the floor – if I don’t
It’s one of those rooms where the ceiling is made out of foamy tiles, I
look at him he can’t see me, right?
don’t know what they’re called but I know I love standing on chairs and pushing them up and out when there’s no one else there.
DAUGHTER closes her eyes. DAUGHTER makes a “pop” sound with her mouth PAUSE DAUGHTER: But that’s not what we’re doing here after dinner, every DAUGHTER opens her eyes again (she can still see and he can still
day my Dad and I.
see her) DAUGHTER begins followed by DAD. MUM: I go We’re reading. DAUGHTER: After dinner, my mum goes into the living room and
The 2 of us reading.
DAD: My daughter and I
DAD: I
DAUGHTER: My Dad and I, we go into the computer room.
DAUGHTER: My dad will read a line, then I will repeat it. We’ll go down the page like this, just like this. Over and over and
194 | Shireen Mula ~ Great Britain
After dinner
Shireen Mula is a playwright and theatre maker. She
Every day
is Associate Artist at Ovalhouse Theatre and is currently
Just like this.
in the research and development stage of Soon Until Forever, a one woman show, and working with EEA on Pop
DAUGHTER starts, then DAD follow.
Up People to develop new work for 11–15 year olds.
Read a line, repeat.
Shireen faciliates new writing workshops for Soho Thea-
Read a line, repeat.
tre in London as well as having founded and co-facilitated 20/20 a new writing
It’s only reading.
course for writers with disabilities at Blue Elephant Theatre.
It’s just reading. We’re only reading.
Shireen spent the summer of 2012 touring as a performer with fanSHEN Theatre Company’s Green and Pleasant Land, an outdoor play for 5+s which she helped
…
to devise. Her work has been translated into Korean and Italian and performed in traditional venues as well as site-specifically on the London Underground and on London’s streets. Shireen has been on attachment at the Royal Court Theatre, where she developed Same Same (Ovalhouse, 2011) and is a Hub Writer at Soho Theatre. Previous credits: Nameless (Arnolfini Theatre), He Said, She Said (Soho Theatre).
Here come the European Boat People | 195
MArco rENzI ~ ITALy
Here Come the European Boat People È arrivato un gommone carico di Europei
Elsinor Teatro Stabile d’Innovazione ~ Milan – Florence – Forli, Italy © www.elsinor.net
first production at Elsinor Teatro Stabile d’Innovazione (Milan/IT), January 2013, with Stefano Braschi, Andea Soffiantini (director Giuditta Mingucci)
Here Come the European Boat P eople | 197 Summary The performance is based on a kind of creative and amusing, even dra-
The night is special, the sky is starry, the wait is long, the fears as well
matic, turning upside down of the actual worldwide situation. It ima-
as the hopes are endless. Thinking about the world and life in general,
gines that a series of factors, such as climate change and the discov-
they become friends, sympathetic and curious about each other’s past.
ery of new materials, will cause the collapse of Europe and of all the
Like Mary Poppins’ bag, Carmine’s suitcase contains all the ingredi-
Western countries, which will be replaced by the African countries as
ents of the typical Christmas Eve dinner, traditional food and also cof-
the new economic rulers. So, rafts and crafts of all kinds change their
fee, because a man coming from the South always brings along the cof-
course, bringing Italians and Europeans to search for jobs (dirty, danger-
fee machine. Time passes among memories and reflections, fears and
ous, humiliating or whatever) in the new leading countries of the world.
dreams and the ghosts of our times take off in a sad and conceited
The performance is about two migrants: Giorgio comes from Milan,
way. There is time to weave branches found on the beach, to leave a lit-
Northern Italy, where he was previously an employee in the glittering
tle crèche in a rock gorge and to ask Baby Jesus for a new life. Maybe
fashion industry; Carmine comes from Southern Italy, from the Calabria
the raft will arrive at midnight and maybe they will leave through the
Region, He has already emigrated once before. The first time, he went
immense, unknown and dark sea. The things value has changed, the
with all his family to Germany, the country once considered to be the
Western richness has proved not to last forever, the wheel has turned
engine of Europe, where he worked at the Mercedes Company. The two
and will do so again, scoffing at humankind. During this special night
migrants, travelling different routes, meet on a cold Christmas night on
there is also place for fireworks, because we, the human beings, are like
the Southern Sicilian shores, in a remote and hidden place, whilst wait-
this: we want to believe that one day the world will be different.
ing for a raft, which will take them to the rich African shores.
198 | Marco Renzi ~ Italy Text Extract
GIORGIO Usually we went out, almost always.
…
CARMINE Women.
(Music. Carmine has taken from the suitcase everything necessary for a dinner: tablecloth, plates, glasses, a bottle of wine, also a little lamp
GIORGIO Yes women too. Far away countries, luxury. Often boredom,
with a candle.
never told, never declared. Maybe it’s because of where we are, maybe
They eat, drink and chat. In the sky there’s a plenty of stars and a full
it’s because of the moon, or the stars, maybe it’s because we don’t have
moon.
anything, but I feel it’s Christmas. Merry Christmas. (he shakes Car-
After eating they make themselves comfortable, with their back leaning
mine’s hand)
on the cliff) (in the distance, the sound of a motorboat. Carmine immediately blows GIORGIO Will you laugh, if I’ll tell you something?
out the candle, they huddle together behind the rocks. A beam of light from the sea passes on the coast inspecting it: African soldiers are
CARMINE I’ll be happy to laugh, if it’s funny.
patrolling the area, to prevent boardings. They speak loudly in Arabic
GIORGIO I don’t recall ever having had such an intense Christmas Eve.
the shore. Then they go away.)
but they’re not visible, they’re on the sea, some hundreds of metres from I’m trying to remember, but I can’t find another one like this. GIORGIO Did they see us? CARMINE What did you used to do on Christmas Eve?
Here Come the European Boat P eople | 199
CARMINE They would have arrested us. They’re gone and we were
CARMINE Scared of what?
lucky they didn’t have dogs with them. GIORGIO I don’t know if I’m more scared of going there or being GIORGIO Why, in your opinion?
arrested and sent back home. Are we sure things won’t change, a new season could blossom, we’ve got potential and huge tourist parks.
CARMINE I don’t know, maybe it’s the holy Christmas night. CARMINE If you want to go back home you can do it, you don’t need GIORGIO Will they come back?
to be arrested. About tourist potential, only a few Africans come here, they remember the way we treated them, not to mention all the carbon
CARMINE Who knows, maybe they will, maybe they won’t, and we
monoxide they had to breathe at the stoplights in our cities while they
hope they won’t.
were washing our windshields.
GIORGIO Why aren’t they at Christmas dinner?
GIORGIO Those were Polish.
CARMINE Because they’re Muslims, and they don’t care about our
CARMINE Polish, Romanians, Nigerians, Senegalese, Moroccans,
Christmas.
don’t worry, they all remember well.
GIORGIO I was scared though…
GIORGIO Well, what should we have done, in your opinion?
200 | Marco Renzi ~ Italy
CARMINE I don’t know, I haven’t studied. I only know they’re treating
Renzi was born and lives in the Fermo Province. He
us the same way we treated them.
has worked all his life in theatre: as Author, Director and Artistic Director. In 1977 he founded the company,
GIORGIO (standing up) When hunger and poverty populate a land,
“Teatri Comunicanti,”in which he is still working today.
people escape and are ready for anything. That’s the way it’s always
He has written 35 texts for his company, all have been
been, the poor ones look for the rich ones who look at them with con-
staged. Other texts have been put on stage by various
tempt. Like the Italians at the beginning of the XX century, filling up the
companies in Italy. With his company he has realized
ships to America, the Africans towards Europe, at the end of the same
more than 2000 performances in Italy and foreign countries. He is the artistic
century and at the beginning of the following one, now it’s our turn.
director of “Eventi Culturali” (Marche Region), the first society with a shared (pub-
GIORGIO Where are you going?
Ministry of Cultural Heritage and Activities. The offices are in Porto Sant’ Elpidio,
GIORGIO I need to stretch my legs.
Mondo” takes place. Renzi is one of the founders and currently is the artistic direc-
CARMINE Pay attention, they could come back.
of the Marche Region.
lic and private) capital. It has been recognized as theatre production society by the
where the longest children’s and youth theatre festival in the world “I Teatri del
tor. He is the Director of the Carnival of the Fermo Province, the network carnival
He published many texts such as “L’Albero e il Sogno” (2000), “L’Elfo del Tea-
…
Translation Giuditta Mingucci / Kendall Katze
tro” (2003), “Tra le Nuvole” (2006), “I nostri primi trent’anni di Teatro” (2007), “Acqua Alta, alla ricerca del Tappo del Mondo” (2007), “Mondi Diversi-Mondi Possibili” (2008), “La Storia di un Punto” (2010), “E’ arrivato un gommone carico di europei” (2012).
Delete | 201
˝ rI ~ HuNGAry kATALIN Gyo
Delete
Delete
Kolibri Színház ~ Budapest, Hungary © www.kolibriszinhaz.hu
202 | Katalin Gyo˝ri
first production at kolibri Theatre (Budapest/Hu) January 2013 with Mária ko˝szegi, Dani czupi, Péter ágoston, réka császár (director: Gyuri Vidovszky)
Delete | 203 Summary “It all started with Gyuri Lakos, who came to our class because he’s
Things seem to speed up a bit when Dóri (the straight A student, who is
flunked” says Boti, an 8th grader in an ordinary Hungarian elementary
preparing to be European Champion in Gymnastics) writes a love letter
school. The structure of the class immediately changes when this “new
to Lakos, who decides to post it on Facebook, and lets the others dis-
guy” appears on the scene. The girls all adore him, the boys either take
tribute copies of it in school.
his side and follow his example (smoking weed and being rebellious) or hate him, like Boti does.
The unexpected suicide of Gyuri Lakos brings all of these emotions to a halt. Students have to try and put together piece by piece what has
The truth is, nobody really knows anything about him, like why his eyes
happened to their classmate, as they give their testimonies to an invis-
were bruised for a while, or where he goes after school, or why he had
ible police officer. Even these testimonies lack cohesion, although some
to leave his previous school. Even his ethnicity is dubious (he might be
of them mention “violence within the family” referring to Lakos Gyuri’s
a Roma guy), and students whisper strange things about his family. In
dad. In the end, the students are still left with the burden of not know-
the play we can follow the way the feelings and emotions of four stu-
ing why he decided to delete himself from the list of humanity. Finally,
dents (Boti, Csabesz, Dóri and Ancsa), whirl, change and float amidst
Boti concludes everything by saying: “This was the end of the era of
love, confusion, anger and humiliation, as they try to figure out who this
not being responsable for each other. This was the end of our child-
boy really is.
hood, really.”
204 | Katalin Gyo˝ri Text Extract
2. CSABESZ Hey, Boti.
Classroom, teacher’s desk a few student desks and chairs, blackboard. In varied configurations, these serve to represent a corridor, a lab, a cafe
BOTI Hey.
teria, and other school-related locations. CSABESZ Say, feel like checkin’ out Atka’s new computer after school?
1.
New server, LCD monitor, the works. His folks aren’t home, we could try
BOTI I think the whole thing started with Gyuri Lakos. He got left back
it out. What d’ya say?
in the eighth grade. He was the first to get left back. The rest just transferred in. Like Atka from Virányosi in the fourth grade, or Reni after sixth
BOTI What’s up with you?
grade, who came over from the Mátyás. But Gyuri Lakos, he got left back. That was a new one. And then suddenly we started noticing him
CSABESZ Whaddya mean, what’s with me?
all over the place. In the classroom, at the janitor’s storage room, where he’d smoke during recess, in the corridors, in the window alcoves, his
BOTI Your pants? Did you drop a load in them or what?
name was scratched on the desks. It was an in-your-face kind of thing. But what made it worse was that some of Gyuri Lakos started rubbing
CSABESZ What’s with you?!
off on all of us. BOTI They’re just about draggin’ on the ground.
Delete | 205
CSABESZ Lay off, will you? You’re not my mother!
BOTI You know, some action.
BOTI It’s just kind of pathetic, you too…
CSABESZ ’Cause they had women with them in there…
CSABESZ Me too what?
BOTI No, just men. That’s the point.
BOTI Pulling a “Gyuri Lakos”.
CSABESZ Okay, leave me alone now. All this lame-brain stuff.
CSABESZ Back off! That’s not what this is, it’s fashion.
BOTI Seriously. I read about it in Wikipedia.
BOTI Fashion? Maybe in American prisons.
CSABESZ Oh, because that’s Holy Scripture. Every mindless ape can upload his idiocy there.
CSABESZ Look, Boti, go home and surf the net if all you can do is break your friend’s ass.
BOTI Yeah, but it still comes in handy for Hungarian Lit assignments.
BOTI No, really. The whole thing comes from America. The prisons.
CSABESZ Oh sure! Especially last time, when I handed in an Ady
Low-slung crotch was a sign, so others would know you’re willing…
paper which said that the poet had a kid by his lover, Léda, because that’s what some idiot wrote in Wikipedia, which is where I got Ady’s
CSABESZ To do what?
biography. Csiky had a fit and covered my Lit paper, with red marks.
206 | Katalin Gyo˝ri
BOTI Csabesz?
BOTI What about me?
CSABESZ Yeah?
CSABESZ (shrugs)
BOTI You went out during recess too?
BOTI What about me? C’mon!
CSABESZ Yeah, everybody was there.
CSABESZ Wha’do I know? Leave me alone, Boti. That’s your business.
BOTI No, not me. Not Lajos or Fazekas either. Or the girls.
BOTI You think I shat my pants?
CSABESZ Okay, but every boy in class went out there.
CSABESZ (pause)
BOTI I just said, not me. Or Lajos or Fazekas.
BOTI Thanks. I feel better now...
CSABESZ Lajos is brain-dead, you know that as well as I do. All he
CSABESZ Now what are you bitching about? I told you to come, but
does is breathe, that’s just about the only thing he does. And Fazekas’s
you just sat there like some cripple.
father would wipe up the floor with him if he stepped out of line. He’s scared shitless.
BOTI I hate the way he just snaps his fingers and you’re all so hot to trot.
Delete | 207
CSABESZ You’re only saying that because you didn’t come with us.
BOTI So what happened?
You know what went on. CSABESZ We smoked grass. BOTI Why, what went on, huh? BOTI Everybody? CSABESZ See? You’re interested too. So get off your high horse. CSABESZ Everybody. That stupid Atka inhaled deep. BOTI I just can’t stand the way he calls the shots. BOTI Where’d he get it? CSABESZ You’re stupid. CSABESZ Wha’do I know? Some buddy of his. BOTI You all do whatever he wants. BOTI Nobody saw? CSABESZ Finally something’s happening, and you’re all mopey over it. CSABESZ Just that janitor, the bald one, you know. But he won’t BOTI Csabesz?
snitch, he doesn’t give a shit what the kids do in school.
CSABESZ Yeah?
BOTI They’ll kick everybody out if they catch you.
208 | Katalin Gyo˝ri
CSABESZ But they won’t catch us.
Katalin Gyo˝ri was born in 1982. She studied at the Universitiy of Debrecen, majoring in English and Hungar-
BOTI You shouldn’t be doing that.
ian Literature and Linguistics, specializing in drama. In 2005 she was granted the Erasmus Scholarship, which
CSABESZ You’re only saying that ’cause you weren’t there.
allowed her to spend a semester in Birmingham, UK. In 2010-2011 she applied successfully for a Scholarship,
BOTI You’re only doing it because Gyuri Lakos is doing it.
which allowed her to do research in Arizona, USA. In 2007, she graduated in Debrecen with an MA degree. As from 2007 she has been
…
teaching English as a Foreign Language at Baár-Madas Református Highschool (Budapest). As a performer, she could have been seen in amateur companies and in the uni-
Translation Eugene Brogyányi
versity theatre company (2006). Most importantly Katalin is a writer: her publications include Felho˝k Szigete [The Island of Clouds] (2006; young-adult fiction, in English, Dutch and Hungarian), and Bojti (2010 children’s fiction, also in audio book). As a playwright, she was invited for the Interplay Conference, Athens with Everyman in 2004; she won the International Short-story Writing Contest at the University de Nord, Timisoara with Footprints in 2006; the Hungarian Playwriting Contest of P11+ with Delete in 2012.
Europe | 209
MIGuEL MorEIrA ~ PorTuGAL
Europe
Europa
Teatro O Bando ~ Palmela, Portugal Š www.obando.pt
first production as a coproduction of Teatro Ăštero & Teatro Bando (PT) in GuimarĂŁes (cultural capital of Europe 2012) in September 2012 (director Miguel Moreira)
Europe | 211 Summary
Text Extract
At first the artists invade the school, initiate disruptive activities dur-
…
ing breaks and stimulate students and teachers to think about concepts such as a sense of belonging, territory or citizenship. Break up the litter everyday to deconstruct thoughts and dogmas, using theater as a way
“I’ll call you Europa, as I call earth place. As I call my home. As I call myself a name. As variety.
to get others to question and recognize. The second phase of this pro-
Everything is dust. Vanishes. There is no other journey.
ject happens in the theater, a piece inspired by the work of Javier Nunez
The dust is the journey. The eternal journey.
Gasco Europe, destined for freethinkers awakened in schools.
The dust returns and gathers again and again. At random… From this gathering phenomenon, bodies slowly appear, carrying a cause, a reason for being and living here. Europe is a body full of dust particles which move and join us. - I’m here. I’m here and this is the story of my trip.“ …
212 | Miguel Moreira ~ Portugal
Miguel Moreira was born in Mozambique in 1973. He
He was an assistant actor in the show ‘*Peregrinação’ in Expo 98 in Lisbon
is a graduate of the Performing Arts Faculty ‘Escola de
involving an integrated theatrical machine from the German group ‘Titanic’ led
Artes e Ofícios do Espectáculo’ in Lisbon.
by Uwe Kolher.
He was a member of the ‘Colectivo de Teatro O Grupo’ 1991–1997.
In 1997 he founded the group ‘Útero – Associação Cultural’ in which he still is
He worked in several productions of the ‘Colectivo O
working as an artistic director, performer, producer and set designer. He directed
Olho’ as well as in various performances from the ‘Cani-
shows like “‘1999! Eo pénis voador…’, ‘Último Verão’, ‘Homeless’, ‘Na Rua’,
balismo Cósmico’ group.
‘Parede’, and the opera ‘Orfeo Ed Euridice’. As both a performer and creator Miguel has presented shows in many European countries, in Colombia, São Tomé and
Miguel has worked with many well known Portuguese theatre directors and
Principe, and all over Portugal.
choreographers such as João Brites, João Garcia Miguel, Paul Castro, Susana Vidal,
He has organized several workshops and lectured at the school in which he trained
Vera Mantero, Olga Roriz, Teresa Simas, Ana Borralho and João Galante, Rui Horta,
and has worked in TV in numerous series and shows.
among others. He has also collaborated with musicians such as Pedro Carneiro
Miguel has been collaborating with Teatro O Bando since 1996. In 1999 he
and Orchestrutopica in the show ‘Berio em sequência’.
directed ‘De um lado oculto’ with Bibi Gomes and in 2009 with João Brites. As a
He also taken part in movies and worked with Eduardo Guedes, Raquel Freire,
result of the co-production with ‘Útero’ he directed the show ‘Crucificado’.
John Botelho, Pedro Nunes Senna, Ivo Ferreira, Luis Fonseca, Paulo Rocha
In 2011/2012 Miguel was Teatro O Bando’s representative in the European pro-
among others.
ject PLATFORM 11 +. He directed one piece in the PLATFORM 11+ Final produc-
He participated in SKITE project in Lisbon – Cultural Capital of Europe1994 , doing experimental work with Clara Andermatt and Alain Platel.
tion FACE ME. As a co-production with Teatro O Bando he staged the performance ‘Europa’ which opened in Guimarães 2012 – Cultural Capital of Europe.
Too old and too young | 213
HEIkkI ITÄNEN ~ fINLAND
too old and too Young Liian vanha ja liian nuori
Oulu City Theatre ~ Oulu, Finland © www.teatteri.ouka.fi
214 | Heikki Itänen ~ Finland Summary Evening at an ordinary modern home. Miko, the 14-year boy is carrying
The parents were also young once, Miko brings up stories of their youth,
computer equipment and is about to set off for an evening at his friend’s
which puts things into perspective for the parents. Families have always
house, but he gets stopped by his parents in the corridor.
struggled with a generation gap. Miko is allowed to leave the house in
They want to know where he is going and what he is going to be doing.
phone rings, his friend’s brother has come to pick him up. He leaves the
Miko explains he is going to be playing videogames with his friends, eat
house with his computer equipment.
the end. His dad even gives him money for the pizza and crisps. Miko’s
pizza and hang out, but the parents do not approve. The situation escalates. A clash of generations in our modern culture follows. The young person and parents don’t understand each other.
An
exchange of ideas takes place about playing, computers, video games, pizza and crisps, upbringing, exercise, socialising, diets, the rat race of modern day, basic rules and responsibilities, decision-making and the many issues of what one should be able to do and decide at a certain age. The discussion highlights the difficult in-between-age of the boy and the importance of trust and being able to discuss things properly.
Too Old and too Young | 215 Text Extract
Mum: Yeah but…we thought it was going to be something…more sportlike playing.
Mum and dad are watching TV on a Friday evening. Dad is holding a beer
Miko: Right. The problem here lies with the computer.
and mum a glass of wine. Their son, a 14-year-old boy, carries a com-
(Places the computer screen on the floor next to the rest of his things
puter and some leads into the front hallway. The parents do not take any
and wipes his hands on his clothes, like it is something filthy.)
notice. The boy goes into his room and comes out carrying a computer
Yuc! It’s the source of all of evil. Sorry I forgot that for a moment.
screen and a plastic bag. He heads towards the door.
Dad: No point joking like that! Mum and I are definitely of the opinion
Miko: Okay, I’m gonna go and play then.
that you sit far too much in front of that contraption. Far too much! You
Mum: Hang on a minute! Where are you going?
should be with your friends sometimes.
Miko: To play games online with my mates. I told you already.
Mum: Exactly!
Mum: Yeah but…
Miko: That’s exactly what I’m planning. There are at least six of us
Miko: But what?
there. Maybe more. Three players and the rest are assembling an old
Mum: What’s THAT got to do with it? (Pointing the computer.)
computer. Everyone is bringing some parts if they’ve got any. Think I
Miko: Oh this…It’s because it has better graphics than a laptop.
may have a suitable graphics card…
Dad: Probably, but mum meant that we thought…that it’s…
(Shaking the plastic bag he is carrying.) …hopefully. If we get the
Miko: Is what?
machine working then there are four players.
Dad: That it was going to be…playing like…
Mum: But it’s not the same as being with your friends.
Miko: That’s what it is. This is what we use to play.
Miko: What do you mean it’s not? Mum: Cos you’ve got those…machines.
216 | Heikki Itänen ~ Finland
miko: I don’t think it matters how many friends I’ve got there. If there were 50 of us, it would still be the same to you because we’ve got those horrible computers there. (Pointing overdramatically to the computer equipment on the floor with disgust kicks them a bit. Places the plastic bag on the floor, grimacing, like it was filthy.) Dad: You are just making fun of the whole thing. Like this is some kind of unjust parental meddling with an ordinary everyday thing. miko: Well at least for once I succeeded in something! That’s exactly what I mean! (Celebrating.) mum: Let it be now Miko. I think you are treading on thin ice here. miko: (Calms down and realizes there’s no reason to be celebrating.) Sorry. Dad: Tell me, how is it that you are planning to play? miko: All of us are playing the same game at the same time.
first production at oulu city Theatre (fI) in January 2013 with Pentti korhonen, Elina korhonen and oiva Nuojua (director Heta Haanpära)
Dad: How’s that possible? miko: We are all in the same game through the net. It’s no space science. We can be on the same side, or against each other or the computer, or… there are loads of choices.
Too Old and too Young | 217
Dad: Well what’s the game that you are playing like? What do you do?
Heikki Itänen (1957) is a Finnish freelance journalist,
Miko: Well of course it’s about tactics, and building and at times we
script and play writer from Ruovesi. He has been writing
fight and…
for newspapers, radio and television on a part-time basis
(Dad interrupts.)
for 25 years.
Dad: Some kind of war game then?
Scripts for TV have been broadcast on YLE, Finland’s
Miko: To an extent yes. Sometimes we fight. Then we recover our bases.
national public-broadcasting company, and MTV3, the
Improve our weapons. It’s got the ancient basic theme of all games.
Finnish commercial television station: Ilotalo (1988),
Good versus evil.
Palikkatesti (1991), Sitä on liikkeellä (1993), Ugrilampaat (1999–2000), Kissa
Mum: Always just killing and killing.
vieköön (1988), Paha yskä ja yhä pahenee (1989–1990), Heksa ja Leksa (1990–
Miko: All games are like that really. It’s about beating the other side.
1991), Vesku rempallaan (1992), Kolmannen korvapuusti (1993–1994), Jäitä
Take, for example playing chess, dad’s favourite. In chess you are try-
Hattuun (1994–1995), Pappia kyydissä (1998).
ing to kill, or should I say capture, as many soldiers from the other side
Radio scripts include Hupipubi (1988–1990), Ykköskabaree (1988–1990),
as possible. And the horses are also beaten into mince meat in passing.
Lahna Katiskassa (Minikuunnelma 2009), Iltakävelyllä (Minikuunnelma 2010),
You can’t win in games without cruelly defeating the opponent. In a way,
Autiotalo (Minikuunnelma 2010).
the game we play is almost like virtual chess.
Itänen wrote his first play in 2005. He wrote his second play four years later and
…
it won an award at a Play Contest in Leivonmäki – both plays have been staged. Plays that he has written include: Sankarisatu (Hero fairytale) (2006) Karhunpalvelus (Disservice) (2007). Pelkkä mies voittakoon (May the mere man win) (2010).
Translated by Sari Tanner
He is married and has two sons.
Pentti korhonen, Elina korhonen
Ghost Town | 219
JESSIcA fISHEr ~ GrEAT BrITAIN
Ghost town
Ghost Town
Pilot Theatre Company ~ York, Great Britain Š www.pilot-theatre.com
220 | Jessica Fisher ~ Great Britain Summary
Themes Ghost Town is a play about friendship and betrayal. Thrown together
An east coast beach. A cold October dawn.
on the beach, Megan and Joe explore for the first time the friendship
Megan lies face down on the tideline. Her head is bleeding and one of
they used to share and the events that pushed them apart. Each has a
her shoes is missing.
different slant, a different version of events. The play looks at how our
Joe stands over her; watching, panicking. His world is about to explode.
choices and actions affect other people, and suggests that we don’t
Joe is a runaway, living in a decaying beach hut. Megan, who knows him
always understand or see the impact of what we do. It explores the ways
from their home town, is astonished to find him here. He is different,
in which we allow the past to shape us, and how we can break away from
riddled with fear and hiding a secret so dark that he takes Megan cap-
the patterns life sets out.
tive to be sure she won’t tell.
It is also a play about courage. Joe suffers from a version of OCD that
As the day unfolds, Megan and Joe try to make sense of their past, their
plagues him with graphic images of hurting people, to the extent that
mismatched memories of the events that have shaped them and dis-
he becomes convinced he has acted on this. He doesn’t understand the
cover what it truly means to be courageous.
condition, nor has he put a name to the fear he lives with. His encounter on the beach with Megan sets a series of events in motion that allow him, for the first time in ages, to entertain a positive, hopeful thought. Megan and Joe’s courage in difficult circumstances allows them to see a more positive future. Ghost Town is a story about lost friendship, memory, growing up and finding your way.
Ghost Town | 221 Text Extract
Megan But they’ll be / so
…
Joe It’s not safe.
3: Later. Banging on the door from inside the beach hut.
Megan What?
Megan Joe! Oi! Joe! I can’t. Joe!
Joe Nothing’s
Joe moves the obstruction from the door, then opens it.
Megan You should see your mum. She looks old. You did that.
Joe It sticks sometimes. There’s a knack.
Joe Don’t.
Megan I thought. I can’t be.
Megan And she gets trolled.
Joe Sorry.
Joe How do you mean?
Megan Jesus. What is going on with you?
Megan Twisted stuff. Sick.
Joe You can’t say you’ve seen / me.
Joe Who would
222 | Jessica Fisher ~ Great Britain
Megan Things parents don’t want to read.
A silence.
Joe She saw it?
There’s a pot over the remains of a fire outside the hut.
Megan And RIP messages.
Megan I’m starving.
Joe Okay.
Joe So?
Megan But you won’t go home?
Megan Well go on then.
Joe Leave it.
Joe pours something from the pot into a bowl and passes it to Megan.
Megan It’s cruel / to
Joe Here.
Joe You don’t know what / you’re
Megan Oh.
Megan You’re being selfish. You / should
Joe Bon appétit.
Joe Fucking leave it!
Megan Spoon?
Ghost Town | 223
Joe Nope.
Joe They’re / fish.
Megan Alright…
Megan Food is not supposed to have a face.
She puts the bowl to her lips and takes a sip. It tastes awful.
Joe They get washed up from the fishing boats. Got to use what you get.
What is this?
Megan I saw a turd washed up once.
Joe Soup.
Joe Why are you here?
Megan What soup?
Megan I can’t eat this.
Joe Sort of... Fish. Soup.
Joe Was it the police?
Megan Give us a look. Oh my god. I’m gonna puke.
Megan What?
Joe Don’t be a /
Joe Did they send you?
Megan It’s heads! They’ve got eyeballs!
Megan That’s crazy.
224 | Jessica Fisher ~ Great Britain
Joe What were you doing on the beach?
Megan What is that?
Megan None of your business.
Joe I found. Okay. Found.
Joe You could have died. You know that?
Megan Joe.
Megan I can look after myself. Have to.
Joe is focussed on the words, trying to reinforce their message.
Joe You were face down on the tide line. How did you / get
Joe Okay. Okay.
Megan I fell from the stars.
Megan That is weird. Why‌
Joe Very funny.
Joe Okay.
Megan No joke.
Megan I need my stuff.
Joe No. You were hurt.
Joe I looked.
Joe returns to his words in the sand. Megan sees them for the first time.
Megan You probably boy looked.
Ghost Town | 225
Joe There was nothing.
She tries to get past him, Joe grabs her arm.
Megan I’m expecting a…
Ow! Get off.
Joe moves to block her path.
Joe Stay. Okay.
What is your problem?
Megan Let go.
Joe …
Joe Promise.
Megan Get / out my
Megan You’re being…
Joe Please.
Joe Please Megan!
Megan Don’t be a douche.
Megan No.
Joe …
He grabs her.
Megan I have to look. Then I’m getting someone, alright? You can’t /
You’re hurting me. Stop it!
226 | Jessica Fisher ~ Great Britain
Joe Calm down. Megan You’re mental. You’re bloody mental.
C: Joe Back. Back before the bus stop and the blood and it’s me and my cousin in town. It’s alright. I might even be having fun. Lights bounce off
They struggle. He pushes her onto the floor of the hut. He has hurt her.
shop windows. Girls hold hands like paperchains and swerve laughing, diagonal across the street. Cousin is proud and upright, initiating me
Joe I’m sorry. But
into this place where he belongs. There’s urinals in the street here and
Megan You hurt my arm.
get back. We part. Me for my bus, Shaun back to halls. And I’m walking
Joe You should have
out, when this girl joins me from nowhere.
Megan You need your head looking at. You’re a psycho.
Keira You got a fag?
Joe shuts the door of the hut and secures it.
Joe Sorry, I don’t
Don’t shut me. Joe, please! Don’t… Psycho!
Keira Bloody hell.
Perhaps Megan’s banging / shouting overlaps with parts of the below.
Joe Sorry.
they stink and then I think about home sweet home and I’ll be glad to through the dark, trying not to step in the crap of someone else’s night
Ghost Town | 227
I walk on. She walks with me. But the sounds of a good night out give
Keira My bus stop’s this way.
way to something else, something agro. It’s subtle at first, and I don’t think she’s felt it but I want to turn, run, get away from this thing but I
Joe No.
don’t know what it is. Keira It’s the only way I know Keira Why so quiet? Joe And they’re getting close. Pushing, I see now, against a line of Joe Don’t you feel it?
police; batons raised against this mob of bottle throwers, brick holders, pushing, shouting bodies. People surge around us. The girl walks on,
Keira What?
head down. And she’s gone. I panic. Run, stumbling in the crowd. Then a hand grabs mine and we duck onto another street, quieter, and hide
Joe We turn a corner and we’re in another country, another time. There’s
ourselves in the dark of a bus shelter.
a fire at the end of the street, and a crowd, still far away, a crowd of people pushing towards us. Keira Holy shit. Joe Let’s go back.
…
228 | Jessica Fisher ~ Great Britain
Jessica Fisher
Jessica has an MA in Applied Theatre from The Central School of Speech and
Jessica is a York-based playwright and youth theatre
subject matter in plays for young actors and audiences.
Drama. Her thesis focussed on the importance and impact of complex and mature
practitioner. In 2010, she won the Nick Darke Award with Paradise, a play for young audiences about a 12
Blog: www.jessicarfisher.wordpress.com
year old guerrilla gardener.
Twitter: @JessicaRFisher
Her plays for young actors include an adaptation of Michael Morpurgo’s Private Peaceful, Once, devised with 11–14 year olds and Tell Tale, a piece about the life and works of Edgar Allan Poe.
In 2011, her short monologue, Female Fagin, was performed at The Bush Theatre, London and The Carriageworks, Leeds and livestreamed for Pilot Theatre’s Pilot Live. In 2012, her short play, Murmur, formed part of the fringe entertainment at the York Mystery Plays, before being taken to the Galtres Festival.
She is currently developing a play for adult audiences, Grace Notes, some of which was produced by Park Bench Poets as a scratch performance at Hull Truck Theatre.
Victoria’s Station | 229
LILLy AXSTEr ~ GErMANy
Victoria’s Station
Victorias Bahnhof
tjg.Theater Junge Generation ~ Dresden, Germany © www.verlagderautoren.de
230 | Lilly Axster ~ Germany Summary
Text Extract
Who am I? What do I want to be like? With whom will I go? Who wants to
In Jella’s family (Ma, Pa, older sister, younger brother), people generally
go with me? What should I wear? And what is love? All existential ques-
either don’t talk, or else nothing is actually said. The family therefore
tions for twelve 12 year old Jella whose parents are preoccupied with
only appear in Jella’s conversations with herself, in ‘experiments’, or in
themselves and their own problems - and can’t give her any clues. But
her fantasies, played by Pokerface and Babyface.
fortunately she has friends and a sister. Using a minimal amount of language and playful packed scenes, Lilly Axster VICTORIA’S STATION is a
Prologue
sensitive portrait of a girl on the threshold of adulthood. Pokerface: Who gets the most texts a day? Babyface: Zineb. Pokerface: Exactly. Babyface: More than Victoria and Jeremiah. Pokerface: Exactly.
Victoria’s Station | 231
Babyface: Maybe Jeremiah’s last. Maybe he gets even fewer texts a
Pokerface: We didn’t earn that one.
day than we do. Babyface: What about all our friends? Pokerface: So what. Pokerface: Acquaintances, more like. (Pause) (Pause) Babyface: We’re definitely ahead of Victoria on grades. Pokerface: Watching pornos, making teachers cry, getting off our head, Pokerface: You don’t say.
breaking hearts, best styling, sex, nicking stuff from the corner shop, etc. And? And? And?
Babyface: Zineb’s best. Ahead of Jeremiah. Which means we’d be third. That’s still bronze, though. Pokerface: Or next to last. If there are four people.
Babyface: You’re just bragging, Pokerface. Pokerface: Well, Babyface, you’re ahead on cocoa and bedtime stories, that’s for sure, and on yellow jelly bears, cartoon elephants on pil-
(Pause)
lowcases, key-fob dollies on backpacks, and number of times peed in swimming pools.
Babyface: We have the most brothers and sisters.
232 | Lilly Axster ~ Germany
Babyface: I don’t pee in the swimming pool, and yes, I’d rather have a
Pokerface: Bet you anything every single one of them’s kissed. We
Milky Way than a joint, and cocoa instead of whiskey. But I don’t have
haven’t even got our periods yet.
a headache the next day, I’ve got more money, and I don’t fall asleep the minute I hit the pillow. I bet if it was alcohol-free beer and a nico-
Babyface: The later the better.
tine-free cigarette you wouldn’t even notice. It’s all just a front with you. Bottle in hand and a fag dangling from the corner of your mouth - yeah,
Pokerface: No dramatic stains on pale trousers… At least menstrual
right, you phoney. D’you know what you are, Pokerface? A crap hand,
blood would be a bit of colour in our lives: red, the colour of love.
and not enough cash. A long camera shot of a big blank screen. Babyface: Give Love a ring, Pokerface. Call her up and ask her if she Pokerface: Why don’t you go sit in your playpen and choke on your
wants to join you for an exciting game of rummy.
dummy. Pokerface: Anyway, things can’t go on like this. Always the same, day (Pause)
in, day out. There’s no action. Nothing happens, ever. Other people are in love and unhappy and throwing themselves off all the bridges in the
Pokerface: Look at us. The only people we’ve ever kissed are relatives, Ma, Pa, cuddly toys, and little Lino. How sweet.
world, or else they’re so head over heels that they’ve forgotten to have breakfast or go to the loo. But no. Here we have breakfast at the same time every morning, except at the weekend: lemon tea, lots of sugar,
Babyface: The others haven’t kissed anyone either. Jeremiah hasn’t, for sure. Lots of others in the class too.
toast with Nutella or jam or paté, sometimes porridge.
Victoria’s Station | 233
Babyface: We’re still a child.
Babyface: But nobody quarrels in this family.
Pokerface: Bollocks, we’re thirteen.
Pokerface: Exactly. It’s not a family, it’s a tomb.
Babyface: Everyone likes Nutella.
Babyface: You’re unfair.
Pokerface: Big sister Kim and little brother Lino also have breakfast, so
Pokerface: Things can’t go on like this.
does Ma; Pa doesn’t have to get up till later. There’s nothing to write in a
…
diary, there’s nothing to see in the mirror. Jella: capable, uncomplicated, always ready with a ‘J__a!’. Everyone says: ‘No need to worry about Jella.’ That’s exactly the problem. Nothing to worry about. No broken heart, no drama, not even bad grades, no illnesses, nothing. Just an ordinary young girl who has everything and nothing. Not even a quarrel with anyone. Babyface: Who should she quarrel with, and why? Pokerface: Young people quarrel with their parents and brothers and sisters. Because they’re young. That’s why.
Translated by Charlotte Collins
234 | Lilly Axster ~ Germany
Lilly Axter was born in Dßsseldorf in 1963, lives in Vienna. A play about childhood in the ghetto, written for children to be played by children - that had not existed until now: Lilly Axster was in her late twenties when she became famous overnight with BUT A BUTTERFLY I HAVE NOT SEEN HERE. Her more than a dozen plays for children and young people stand for the union of poetry and problem. In addition, she also writes plays for adults. Lilly Axster was director and author of the Vienna House Youth Theatre and since 1992 directs the Theater Foxfire with Corinne Eckenstein. She has won numerous prestigious prices, inter alia several times the Austrian Children’s Prize and the Stella Theatre Award 2009.
Boy, Boy! | 235
MIcHAEL MÜLLEr ~ GErMANy
Boy, Boy!
Junge, Junge!
tjg.Theater Junge Generation ~ Dresden, Germany © www.theaterstueckverlag.de
236 | Michael Müller ~ Germany Summary Danilo, a Russian, and Sertac, a Turkish boy; two boys in a city that
“Oh, boy!”is a play about a very different male strong point and disas-
could not be more different. Really? Despite all the cultural differences
sociation from identified role models. And a friendship that first looked
at first glance, the second glance might perhaps show a few similarities.
like nothing and gives a lot more support than expected in the end, after
The two boys get closer to each other, as Sertac watches Danilo measure
the boys have sought and found their identity.
the energy of lightning like a real scientific researcher. He does all this in the backyard of Sertacs father’s shop. At first the two find each other rather odd. But because of what they experience together in a competition for a big fashion show, Danilo and Sertac realize that they actually get on quite well together. But Sertac’s father observes the friendship with a boy of the “Russian Mafia” sceptically. Then, an incident Sertac’s father’s store casts a shadow on Danilo. The two friends have to be very courageous to keep their friendship alive and to defend it against the problems in the family. Because with the strong family honor in Sertac’s family and the separation of Danilo’s parents, the two eleven year olds actually have to plough through a lot of other areas.
Boy, Boy! | 237 Text Extract Scene 1
DANILO (unfazed) Can’t right now. Have to measure. SERTAC Yard belong my father shop, his property, so you piss off, or else…
Thunderstorm researcher in the back yard Lighting streaks across the sky. DANILO goes over to a particular spot, A muggy, humid, late summer’s day in the city. DANILO is standing in
measures, and shakes his head.
a back yard. On his head he wears a home-made helmet with two metal spikes. He is looking up at the sky. Every now and then, in the back-
Ey, what you looking, you want trouble?
ground, bolts of lightning stab down towards the ground. DANILO takes photos. He holds a kind of measuring instrument in his hand, which he
DANILO Strange.
uses to check particular spots on the asphalt. He makes notes. It looks like some kind of ritual, but DANILO is actually conducting ‘scientific
SERTAC Only you’s strange. You look like amputated bee or something.
investigations’ (into electrostatic induction, in fact, but he doesn’t know that, he’s only just turned eleven). SERTAC, a bit stocky, a bit too strong
DANILO It’s my protective helmet.
for his age, is standing in a little shed behind a rubbish bin, watching him.
SERTAC Once we see play with school, in theatre, there bee make cake, look just as stupid like you.
SERTAC Get lost, nutter!
238 | Michael Müller ~ Germany
DANILO (still very preoccupied) I’m not a bee, I’m researching… The weather, if you really want to know.
DANILO You have to press your legs together, then nothing’ll happen. (Shows him, which really does look pretty mental. He points to his measuring instrument) I use this to measure how charged the earth is
SERTAC Bee had no eggs…
after the lightning. For example, if it strikes the ground ten kilometres away… I can still measure something here. They’re called amperes. (He
DANILO (serious) Bees don’t have eggs, they have larvae…
pronounces it a bit wrong - ‘ampeers’) They do it at airports too, and if
SERTAC Then is coming this hen and lay one for her. Erkan beside
messes up the control system and all the other stuff in the cockpit. And
me shout, “Now let bee hatch egg,” and they have to stop play, because
the planes can explode while they’re filling up with petrol.
the charge is too high the planes aren’t allowed to take off. The lightning
everybody laughing so much… Was in first year… Stupid kids theatre, you know.
SERTAC But we not in airport, we’re in back yard of my father shop.
DANILO (points to his helmet, wants to impress SERTAC with his
DANILO (continues undeterred) Lightning can have a temperature of
knowledge) This conducts lightning.
up to 30,000 degrees, so it can melt asphalt, or if it strikes you all that’s left of you is a pile of ashes.
SERTAC Like I said, you’s mental. Must’ve been hit some times. From lightning.
Thunder.
Boy, Boy! | 239
SERTAC (jumps, startled. He’s slightly impressed now after all) How
DANILO runs over to him, joins him in the shed. They look out at
hot is it here?
the rain.
DANILO The reading’s pretty low.
How you do that? You big magician? DANILO I just counted the seconds between the lightning and the
SERTAC (visibly disappointed) Shame.
thunder.
DANILO I take pictures of lightning too, do you want to see? (holds
SERTAC (casually holds out his hand) Sertac.
up a camera) DANILO (shakes Sertac’s hand with the utmost seriousness) Danilo SERTAC (looks up, grins) Ey, weather bee? When the rain coming?
Oleff.
Another bolt of lightning, and immediately thunder.
SERTAC Russki?
DANILO (looks at him, counts) Three, two, …
DANILO Yes, my father.
It starts to pour with rain.
SERTAC Can I put on helmet?
SERTAC (laughs hysterically and yells) Come, come here.
DANILO hesitates, gives him the helmet. SERTAC puts it on.
240 | Michael Müller ~ Germany
DANILO Pretty mental.
DANILO My father says I should learn what the teachers teach us, and
They both laugh.
computer games?
SERTAC (pretends to be fending off lightning with the helmet) Light-
SERTAC (showing off, exaggerates) At least thousand.
play with the other kids. But research is more important. Do you have
ning photos, you show me. DANILO Tell me: why can the characters move when we want them to? DANILO gives him the camera. SERTAC Characters? Because you click with mouse. Cool, this with branches. Look like white tree. DANILO And the mouse has a brain, right? DANILO (takes the camera back) And this one, like a pitchfork. SERTAC Mouse with brain, no, come on… There’s … minidisk inside, SERTAC Danilo, you research more thing? Other thing? DANILO (cautiously) Lots of things.
or something, that knows this. Like TV zapper, something like this. DANILO That’s what I’d like to know, things like this. Secrets, things you can’t see.
SERTAC What you tell me, no one at home or in school tell me. No one doing this.
Boy, Boy! | 241
SERTAC For what? When you play, you play… totally not important, all
SERTAC’s father appears.
this stuff. What I think. Gotta go. Going to gym. My father always take me, so I become strong. Look! (shows off his muscles)
ÖZGÜR Sertac, what are you doing out there?
DANILO (puzzled) Strong?
SERTAC Watching the lighting.
SERTAC Lift weights, for muscles…
ÖZGÜR That’s dangerous.
DANILO Can I come too?
SERTAC Not if you wear helmet.
SERTAC You crazy? Is gym for Turkish people!
ÖZGÜR Come on, come inside. …
DANILO (doesn’t understand at all) I see… Okay, then. (Turns to go) SERTAC You come again, measure lightning? DANILO Maybe. See you. SERTAC See ya.
Translated by Charlotte Collins
242 | Michael Müller ~ Germany
Michael Müller, born in 1959 in Lübeck, initially completed his studies as an art teacher at the University of Hildesheim and then went on to postgraduate studies in theater pedagogy in Remscheid. After his studies he worked as a dramaturg at Ernst-Deutsch-Theater in Hamburg, from 1991 as an adviser for public relations and education at Deutsches Schauspielhaus in Hamburg. In 2000 he switched to dramaturgy for youth theater and started with his own productions in the youth club Backstage. With the new founding of the Junges Schauspielhaus Hamburg Müller took over the Management. Furthermore he works as lecturer at the University of Hamburg, the Körber Foundation, ZEIT Foundation, Töpfer Foundation and the Goethe Institute. Michael Müller lives in Hamburg.
Andromeda’s Island | 243
INDrEk HArGLA ~ ESToNIA
andromeda’s Island Andromeda saar
VAT Teater ~ Tallin, Estonia © www.vatteater.ee
244 | Indrek Hargla ~ Estonia Summary A girl and a boy are washed ashore, on an island, after a shipwreck. They
ple are never really old, their souls stay young forever. Moments before
have to stay alive and find their way home. But the boy is abducted by
her death she relived her life story disguised as a romantic adventure
a woman who wears a horned mask and calls herself Andromeda. It is
in which she was able to meet her dead husband once again… and be
her island. Ancient gods have punished her for being vain. The Gods
young.)
granted her eternal life and unearthly beauty but put a spell on her as well. They took away her soul and doomed her to live forever in solitude and to wear the mask. Whoever sees her beauty is forever attracted to it.
Text Extract
But Andromeda herself is denied love and human feelings. Only when someone is able to love her for whom she really is, without seeing her
…
face, can she be human again. Andromeda offers the children a choice:
Instead of the sound of ocean waves we now hear the forest – rustle of
one of them must stay, the other can go back home. They both want to
the trees and forest birds. Ramon and Doris are in the forest, on their
stay in order to save a friend’s life. The boy takes off the mask, believ-
way to the castle. At the back of the stage are tree leaves covering the
ing that the girl will leave, but she escapes and goes on a quest to save
entry which we cannot see yet. On the foreground there is a stone or a
her friend. She is willing to pay whatever it takes to save the boy not
tree branch that can be leaned on.
knowing exactly why. (In the end it turns out that the whole quest was the dream of an old widow in her deathbed. She dies happy, being able
Doris supports Ramon, they come slowly because the path is difficult to
to experience love and all the desires of her youth once more. Old peo-
walk on, they have to climb over branches and fallen trees.
Andromeda’s Island | 245
Ramon moves on with his teeth pressed together, he is in pain, he is
RAMON: How is it?
clearly exhausted and suffering. They stop in the middle of the stage. DORIS: I’ll put some leaves on it. (She takes the leaves, puts them on DORIS: Let’s take a rest, shall we? (Ramon nods) How long do you
the wound and ties it up. At the same time speaking) The main thing is
think we’ve walked for? Are we half way there? Or more? I think we’re
that no dirt gets in it. It’ll be fine…
closer. RAMON (arduously): Please, see if there’s any water here. A spring or… RAMON (pressing through his teeth): We… can’t… stay out in the dark. Doris looks around and shrugs her shoulders. She supports Ramon when
Ramon is interrupted by the beautiful music that is now heard louder.
he leans on the stone.
Startled, they stop to listen.
DORIS: I can’t see, the trees are on the way, but we’re not far. Defi-
DORIS: It’s coming from the fortress.
nitely! How’s your leg? RAMON: I guess. RAMON: Hurts a little. The music stops. DORIS: Show me! DORIS: Let’s rest and then we’ll keep going. There are people there, Doris leans over and starts to untie the bandage. Ramon closes his eyes, he is in pain. When Doris takes the bandage off, she freezes for a moment.
they’ll help…
246 | Indrek Hargla ~ Estonia
RAMON: You go. Let me stay here.
DORIS: And maybe there are some fruits. You have to eat fruits, vitamins, you know.
DORIS: Stop it! RAMON: Don’t be like my… mother. RAMON: Please! DORIS: Why not? DORIS: I’m not leaving you here on your own! Is that clear! End of story!
RAMON: Just… don’t.
RAMON: I want to drink, Doris. I can’t go without water any more.
Doris stops and thinks for a moment. Ramon’s head falls on his chest, he closes his eyes and breathes heavily.
DORIS: If the music can be heard here then… it can’t be far. Doris runs to get the leaves. She is looking for raindrops and disappears RAMON: Too far for me.
behind the stage, between the leaves.
DORIS: I’ll find something drink from the forest, ok? Maybe there are
Ramon stays on the foreground leaning on the stone, he is in pain, he
some raindrops on the leaves. This castle is not far any more. Wait here!
is weak and exhausted. He does not see that Doris has disappeared between the leaves.
RAMON: Where do you think I can go?
Andromeda’s Island | 247
RAMON (calling weakly): Hey girl? Doris?
RAMON: Oh, it must be just a fairytale…
DORIS (offstage): Yes?
Ramon’s eyes fall shut.
RAMON: Can you hear me?
leaf that probably has water on it. She steps very slowly. She arrives to
DORIS (offstage): Yes.
on Ramon’s lips.
Pause.
DORIS: Drink now, drink a little. It’s not a lot but it’s fresh clean
Doris appears from between the leaves, she is holding carefully a large Ramon and sees that he must have lost consciousness. Doris tips water
water… RAMON: If there’s water… then drink. You drink… You know, I think I’ve heard of this island. I thought it’s a fairytale, but… DORIS (offstage): What are you talking about?
RAMON (recovers and opens his eyes. Whispering): The fairytale… DORIS: Yes, like a fairytale, isn’t it. It’s the water of life, it gives you strength. Wait, I’ll get some more.
RAMON: That there’s an island in the middle of the ocean where the shipwrecked can end up on, and only one of them…
Ramon stays on the stone, Doris exits in between the leaves. The silent music is heard again.
DORIS (offstage): I can’t hear you…
248 | Indrek Hargla ~ Estonia
Behind the leaves a passage is revealed. We have not seen this before.
Doris notices the opening and stops dismayed. She understands – this
Andromeda comes out of it, she has a horned mask on her head. She
is the only place Ramon could have gone to.
steps slowly to Ramon and stops in front of him. Her pose expresses compassion when she leans over Ramon and whispers in his ear.
She moves closer to the opening, hesitates, but not for long. She enters.
Ramon opens his eyes slowly and looks at the woman. Even if he is surprised, he has no strength to express it. Indrek Sootak (pseudonym Hargla)
Andromeda waves her hand and a Guard comes out of the passage. He is wearing black and a mask, he is like a shadow or a phantom… The
Indrek Sootak was born on July 12, 1970 in Tallinn /
Guard comes to Ramon, takes the boy in his arms and they disappear in
Estonia. In 1988 he graduated from Tartu I Secondary
the passage between the leaves, the passage opening remains uncovered.
School, and in 1993 from Tartu University as a lawyer. From 1993–2012 he worked in the Estonian Ministry of
The music stops. From between the trees Doris appears, holding tree
Foreign Affairs as a senior lawyer. He began writing in
leaves that she carries with great care.
1998 under the pseudonym Indrek Hargla, and mostly wrote science fiction. He
DORIS: Ramon? Did you hear that? It was the music again… (She sees
Short Story Prize (2009), Tammsaare Novel Prize (2008), The Cultural Endow-
has written 15 novels and two TV series. Indrek Sootak has been awarded Tuglas
that Ramon is gone). Ramon? Where are you? (She drops a leaf and runs
ment of Estonia’s literary award (2012) and 17 science fiction awards Stalker
around agitatedly) Ramon? Where did you go? Ramon?
(2000–2010).
Make & Break | 249
BJørN SorTLAND ~ NorWAy
make & Break
Vinn & Forsvinn
Brageteatret ~ Drammen, Norway www.brageteatret.no ~ © www.dramatikkenshus.no
250 | Bjørn Sortland ~ Norway Summary
Text Extract
“Make&Break” is about six young people who are chosen to take part in
Day 1
“Make&Break”, a reality show in which the participants compete for sev-
The stage is a cat-walk with two projecting ’wings’ so the whole forms
eral hundred thousand kroner. Each of the six has been diagnosed with
a ’T’ (or a cross without a top, if you prefer). Three double beds stand
cancer and only has a relatively short time left to live. What is important
on the cross-piece.
in life? Does one become a better person when one is about to die? Does one become more desperate? Does money still mean anything? Is it ok
At the rear stand six columns, within which colours will appear: a col-
to burn your candle at both ends? Amongst the audience there’s a cou-
umn and a colour for each participant. Each participant has their own
ple watching the reality show. They decide who is to be voted out. But
colour; to all intents and purposes, the clothes they wear have the same
does the audience have a life when they just sit watching such things?
colours as the lights in the columns. (Rather than ambitious, physical
“Make&Break” is a theatre piece packed in a reality show. Or is it the other way round?
light columns, use may be made of projections or something similar on the back wall.) At the end of the cat-walk closest to the audience, stands a large barbecue grill, a bottle of charcoal lighter fluid and a grill- lighter.. The whole auditorium is as dark as possible. A children’s/youth choir stands lined up along the sides and back wall.
Make & Break | 251
While the audience enters and finds their places, the choir gently
The House
shushes them should they speak. VOICE OF THE HOUSE 6 days – 6 participants – 6 months to live – and 600,000 in prize money
On The Sofa
– minimum! Welcome to Make & Break!
The only object lit is a bright yellow, two-seater sofa which is placed at the front, close to the stage, but in the auditorium. Sonja is sitting in it.
Anne, completely hairless, dressed in red, comes calmly out onto the
When the audience has sat down, the choir hums the hymn “Abide
A fanfare interrupts the hymn.
with Me”. (The original suggests “Far, verden, far vel” – Thomas Kingo,
A column of light appears – warm red.
stage.
1681. Norwegian Hymnbook, number 406). (NB! How the columns react is really up to those putting on the producSONJA (calling out) You coming? It’s starting!
tion. I haven’t given directions throughout since they are ever present and to do so would be rather pernickety. All the same, I have given indications as to where it is essential when they go up or down, when people
Sigurd comes running in with a bag.
are voted out, for instance. What is important is that each colour-column appears linked to its own participant.)
SIGURD Just had to get the Doodles.
Anne starts promenading down the cat-walk.
252 | Bjørn Sortland ~ Norway
ANNE
EMMA
I think I was chosen because they need someone who’s critical. I think
Emma. Single. The money doesn’t mean much. I want to give people
life is short and now I’m going to die. Besides I’m pissed off that my
hope. There’s life after this. My body’s just a shell. My soul will be born
sort-of boyfriend didn’t want to be my proper boyfriend. So I’m very sin-
again. As a butterfly or a wolf or something else. People don’t under-
gle. And bitter.
stand this. I, who am going to die, want to remind those of you watching that death is not the end.
A column of light appears – light green. Katrine starts promenading down the cat-walk.
New fanfare.
As the participants come in and present themselves, a kind of cat-walk, fashion-show flow builds up, with each in turn replacing the one before,
VOICE OF THE HOUSE
who returns to their place and so on.
Girls! Are you ready to choose your bed-pals?
KATRINE
Two of those clothed in white enter with a washing line, hanging from
I’m an eternal optimist! And I’m going to live ’til the day I die. I hope I’m
which are three pairs of boxer-shorts: One pink, one blue, one yellow.
going to win. Giving up’s not allowed! And yes! I’m single!
Anne, Katrine and Emma look at each other.
A column of light appears - purple. Emma starts promenading down the cat-walk.
ANNE I’ll have this one.
Make & Break | 253
Anne tales the blue pair.
today’s society. When I was at the Radium Hospital I decided to prove
Emma takes the yellow.
you can live ’til you die. That you can love life. And that you can make
Katrine hesitates, then finally takes the pink.
a difference.
KATRINE
The blue column lights up.
I see: A few months left to live and I have to sleep with a guy with pink
Trym gets up and walks down the cat-walk.
undies. TRYM Music to build suspense.
I’m not well enough to hit town any more. Three reasons why I’m here.
The boys throw the duvets off the beds; they have been lying under them
Money. Women. And a bit of fun before I die. Yesss. That was that.
all the time. Fanfare again.
The pink column lights up.
The yellow column lights up. Kim gets up and walks down the cat-walk. Audun leaps up and comes down the cat-walk. Yellow clothes. A guitar. KIM AUDUN
I’ve actually been a bit of an arse all my life. More or less blagged my
I think I was chosen because I’m single and play the guitar. If I win, I
way forward. Hope to win though, all the same. My big sister needs
might just give the whole million away to a good cause. Death’s taboo in
the money. Do something good before I finally log off. I don’t believe
254 | Bjørn Sortland ~ Norway
in lighting candles and the good conversation. And I hate pink. Just so that’s clear.
TRYM Yeah! And if a woman wins, I’ve got more to offer than just cash. …
Fanfare again; all the columns flash. VOICE OF THE HOUSE
Translation Neil Howard
And so we’re off. And you viewers at home can already start voting. It’s your sms votes that decide both the size of the prize and who wins. And
Bjørn Sortland was born in 1968 and lives in Ber-
every vote you send in goes into the draw for 25% of the prize money,
gen. He graduated from the Written Arts Academy
which is a minimum of 600,000. As you vote, up it goes. And one of
(Skrivekunstakademiet) in 1991. His debut book Det er
you voters will be drawn out and given 25% of the prize. The more you
ikkje natta was published in 1992, he has written 45
vote, the bigger the pot. Right now, the viewer’s prize is already worth
works of fiction for children, teenagers and adults. His
150,000. In addition, you get to meet the winner and get the winning
works have been published in the USA, Canada, Italy,
amount paid out Cash in your Hand. Each participant has a colour code.
France, Spain, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Swit-
For example, if you send BLUE to 666, then Trym will get your vote.
zerland, Hungary, South Korea, Taiwan, Sweden, Denmark, the Færoe Islands, Fin-
Trym makes a victory sign.
land, Egypt and Palestine. He has been awarded many Norwegian and international prizes for literature. Sortland’s books may be characterised both by the light, humorous style and for the way that his takes the universe and the problems of children and young people seriously. He received the Aschehoug Prize in 2011.
five Impossible Minutes | 255
LArS VIk ~ NorWAy
five Impossible minutes Fem umulige minutter
Brageteatret ~ Drammen, Norway www.brageteatret.no ~ Š www.dramatikkenshus.no
256 | Lars Vik ~ Norway Summary
Text Extract
A young, independent theatre group is asked to perform a five-minute
1. The start
spot at a large oil-industry conference. The pay is good, but there’s little time to prepare and opinions about the job differ. When the group
NINA:
decide to say yes to the lucrative offer, the drama really starts. Can they
OK, let’s start. Action!
criticise the oil industry? Dare they do so? At what cost? And who’s in
(Nina claps her hands. Katinka, Sigurd, Siv, Adrian and Jan Kåre begin
love with whom? They are young, discordant and invincible.
a typical warm-up exercise, a variant on stick-in-the-mud perhaps? Various degrees of involvement. Jan Kåre’s cell phone rings, he picks up, lis-
The young group has to undergo a series of challenging battles before
tens enthusiastically, answers positively, rings off.
they finally step on to the stage at the prestigious conference with their five impossible minutes.
JAN KÅRE: Bloody hell!
”You must make people pay you well to do the theatre they want, but you must pay out of your own pocket to do the theatre you want.”
NINA: What is it?
V. Meyerhold JAN KÅRE: Our first job!
Five Impossible Minutes | 257
ADRIAN:
NINA:
I have an employment relationship already. With NAV.
Who for?
KATINKA:
ADRIAN:
Adrian!
When?
NINA:
SIV:
And?
How much?
JAN KÅRE:
JAN KÅRE:
And we get paid!
Hold on, hold on.
SIV: Cool.
KATINKA: Well tell us then, Jan Kåre.
JAN KÅRE: In fact, very well paid!
JAN KÅRE: That was my uncle. He asked if we could do a stunt at a conference next
KATINKA: What for?
week; said they could do with something fresh and youthful.
258 | Lars Vik ~ Norway
ADRIAN:
JAN KÅRE:
Next week?
He said was that OK?
KATINKA:
KATINKA:
Perfect.
Very OK. We’ll be able to take that theatre trip to the West End at last.
JAN KÅRE:
ADRIAN:
We can do whatever we want as long as it’s under five minutes.
Or attend the international chess congress in Vancouver.
ADRIAN:
SIV:
Yeah-yeah, you can do a whole lot in 3000 seconds.
Or we could just split the money.
JAN KÅRE:
KATINKA:
And we get… thirty thousand!
Split it? Why?
SIV:
SIV:
Thirty?!
Maybe we don’t all want to do the same thing?
KATINKA:
KATINKA:
What? Thirty big ones for five minutes?
We agree about most things. Don’t we?
Five Impossible Minutes | 259
(They all begin talking together; all disagree.
ADRIAN:
Sigurd comes leaping in, interrupts them.)
Signed and sealed.
SIGURD:
NINA:
Ta-raaaah.
We’re going to perform a stunt during a break at a big conference.
JAN KÅRE:
ADRIAN:
Very amusing.
With real appreciation for once.
SIGURD:
JAN KÅRE:
It’s good to see you too, Janki.
Thirty thousand shiny Norwegian kroner!
KATINKA:
SIGURD:
Great news, Sigurd.
Oh-la-la. Blimey… who’s it for?
SIGURD:
JAN KÅRE:
Oh, what?
My uncle.
KATINKA:
SIGURD:
Our group’s just got its first engagement.
The one in the oil industry?
260 | Lars Vik ~ Norway
NINA:
NINA:
What?!
Did you say yes to the job?!
SIGURD:
JAN KÅRE:
Doesn’t he work offshore or something?
Well… you know… I said that we em… yeah, that we were interested and stuff… but… why?
JAN KÅRE: That’s him. He’s a middle manager for Statoil. Cool dude. They’re having
NINA:
this big oil conference next week and he said they need a bit of young
You’re lying. You said yes, didn’t you?
blood to break things up a bit. You know, Tomorrow’s Heroes and all that. SIV: ADRIAN:
What’s up with you?
That’s us all right. NINA: NINA:
Well, what’s your answer?!
Did you say yes, Janki? JAN KÅRE: JAN KÅRE: What?
Ok, ok, relax, people.
Five Impossible Minutes | 261
NINA:
NINA:
Well?
You can’t just say yes on our behalf, Janki. We all agreed on a flat structure!
JAN KÅRE: Well, yes, I said we could do a five-minute job for thirty grand. Yes! Was
JAN KÅRE:
that wrong?
Like you ask all of us about EVERY decision you take for the group, is that it?
SIV: No, of course not.
NINA: I do try.
KATINKA: This is a really fantastic opportunity for us, Nina.
JAN KÅRE: Yeah, kiss me slowly.
NINA: He should’ve asked us first; that’s the point. Janki’s not the boss
NINA:
around here.
No, I’m done with that.
SIV:
KATINKA:
But it’s thirty thousand!
Look, Ok, guys, maybe it wasn’t exactly right that…
262 | Lars Vik ~ Norway
SIV: Was alright if you ask me.
SIGURD: Put together a number. …
KATINKA: … Janki didn’t consult us first. Fine! But he has actually said ”yes”. So what are we going to do?
Translated by Neil Howard.
SIGURD: Is it really such a mega-problem that we’ve been given a job?
Lars Vik was a founder of Grenland Friteater in 1976.
KATINKA:
and later giving classes and producing his own texts and
That someone actually wants us. For once.
others’.
He first worked as an an actor, then began writing drama
He made his debut as a dramatist with the radio play
SIV: And is going to pay us loads. So where’s the problem?
Det er noe jeg må si deg for NRK in 1988, and has since written a large number of pieces, particularly for children and young adults, and for theatres large and small. Several of his texts have been
NINA:
performed in Sweden and Germany. This year Lars started the mini-theatre Teater
What are we supposed to do?
Avvik in Porsgrunn, specialising in small-scale performances visiting schools. Lars Vik’s alter ego is Fritjof Fomlesen. www.larsvik.no
The Hangar | 263
TorIL SoLVANG ~ NorWAy
the Hangar
Hangaren
Brageteatret ~ Drammen, Norway www.brageteatret.no ~ Š www.dramatikkenshus.no
264 | Toril Solvang ~ Norway Summary
Text Extract
A group of people have moved into an aircraft hangar following an apoc-
Prologue
alypse.
White dust whirling in the air as if through sunbeams streaming through
There they have developed a strict class system and rules of behaviour.
a kitchen window. And you sitting on the floor, playing. You look up.
A power-game develops when Noah begins hears a voice from outside
Then a black shadow. The moment is over.
of the hangar. Everything begins to fall apart. A boy breaks in, but was he really out there to start with? What happens to human relationships
A man with a black hood on his head. A man on all fours, on a leash
when absolutely everything is ordered and regulated? What happens to
round his neck.
language and memory? Is there space for love and tenderness?
A woman in military trousers standing over naked people piled up on one another. Someone laughing. A barking dog. Urine. A digging machine burying bodies. The earth is moist and dark. The smell of rain. Thin white skin. A syringe. Cramp. Silence.
The Hangar | 265
People running. Slow motion film. Screams that cannot be heard. Blood mixed with dust. Flames. Cars smashed to pieces.
his back. Always keep your eyes on my back, he said. Suddenly there were just us. White light and suddenly just us three. We looked for the others for a long time. Then we gave up and just left. Are you there? Are
A man sits down. Folds his hands together, then picks up the telephone.
there any others there? Are you there?.
Someone takes your hand. You run together, You fall. The hand is gone.
2. A cutting, shrill sound.
A hangar. Walls once white, now brownish-red.
White dust and no sound. White dust.
Noah stands by a wall. He listens with his face against the wall and his
No sound.
eyes closed. Now and then his lips move. Karen enters. She goes qui-
A time. A place.
etly over towards him.
1.
What are you doing?
KAREN A WHISPERING VOICE I don’t remember what they looked like. I remember that I remembered
NOAH
before. I had a picture of them. Somewhere. But it’s gone. It dissolved.
Me?
My father walked in front of all the others. I saw his back. Mustn’t lose
266 | Toril Solvang ~ Norway
KAREN
KAREN
Did I startle you?
I’ve seen you over by this wall before. What is it that you’re doing?
NOAH No no.
NOAH Nothing. Are you going to shave me or talk?
KAREN You jumped. I saw you jumped a little.
KAREN Don’t you want to talk about it?
NOAH Aren’t you going to shave me?
NOAH About what?
KAREN I am.
KAREN About you standing here talking to yourself.
Karen lovingly strokes Noah’s head. Takes out shaving equipment. She hums softly. Noah smiles.
NOAH I’m not talking to myself.
The Hangar | 267
Pause. Karen begins shaving Noah’s head.
KAREN There’s nothing out there. Just sand.
NOAH There’s someone there.
NOAH How do you know?
KAREN Where?
KAREN What?
Noah points towards the wall. NOAH NOAH
That there’s sand there.
Outside there. KAREN Karen looks at Noah.
I don’t know.
NOAH
KAREN
Don’t you believe me?
Is there something bothering you?
268 | Toril Solvang ~ Norway
NOAH
NOAH
It doesn’t matter.
I’m joking. There’s no-one out there. Of course not. There’s nothing but sand, is there. I’m just joking.
Noah moves slightly away. KAREN KAREN
Are you unhappy?
Don’t be cross. NOAH NOAH
No. When Karen comes, Noah is happy.
Are you finished? KAREN KAREN
Don’t be silly.
OK. Who is it then? Out there. Who is it? Noah begins to tickle Karen. NOAH I said it doesn’t matter.
NOAH When Karen comes, Noah goes mad! MAD! Pling, plong! Mad!
KAREN Who is it?
The Hangar | 269
KAREN
KAREN
Shhh. Someone will hear us.
Noah. It’s not allowed.
NOAH
NOAH
I’ll only stop if, if, if
When did you begin to care about that?
KAREN
KAREN
If what?
You’re behaving very strangely.
NOAH
Noah takes hold of Karen.
You – kiss – me. NOAH KAREN
When did you begin to care about it not being allowed to kiss me?
What? (Noah kisses Karen tenderly on the cheek. Karen turns away. ) NOAH
(whispers) There’s someone outside.
Won’t you? (Noah stops tickling her.)
KAREN
I know you want to kiss me.
Who?
270 | Toril Solvang ~ Norway
NOAH
NOAH (whispers)
A boy.
Are you coming back later?
KAREN
KAREN
I have to go.
Yes.
NOAH
Later today?
NOAH I’m not joking. KAREN KAREN
If I manage to get away.
Let me go. Karen leaves. NOAH Don’t you believe me?
…
KAREN Marthe enters. Noah releases her and sits on his bunk.
Translated by Neil Howard
The Hangar | 271
Toril Solvang studied playwriting at the Dramatiska Institutet in Stockholm. After 10 years outside of Norway, she returned in 2010 and has since worked a lot in children’s theatre, including with Ferske Scener in Tromsø, at Østfold theatre and at Dramatikkens Hus. She also works as a translator. Det stykke natt, is based on a number of interviews. Its premiere was in 2011. She is very interested in documentary material and dramatises both her own and others’ texts. She most recently wrote and directed I much prefer being able to see the eyes at Dramatikkens Hus.
272 | Kristin Auestad Danielsen ~ Norway
krISTIN AuESTAD DANIELSEN ~ NorWAy
the Dark Cloud
Den mørke skya
Brageteatret ~ Drammen, Norway www.brageteatret.no ~ © www.dramatikkenshus.no
The Dark Cloud | 273 Summary
Text Extract
Five children aged 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 are to have their summer
Scene 1 To The Island
holidays without their parents. Hosting the summer camp are Cinderella, Snow White, Pamela Anderson, Marilyn Monroe and the handsome
(Camel, Little Seal, Flappety Crow, Darty Prawn, Moomin Prince, and a
handball coach. Here they are well looked after but a threatening dark
young man, Snow Guinea-pig, paddle out towards an island in several
cloud appears on the horizon. What does the cloud want; how can one
canoes)
get rid of it, and is it all just a story? SNOW GUINEA-PIG In a little valley there was a lake and in that lake there was an island and on that island was a mountain. The great mountain. It was there they were going, all of them. They were 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 years old and they were going there to be looked after. Their parents had sent them out to this island, this island that was so safe and good. It was summer and their parents were looking forward to a little rest from these moody bombs, these lovely kids with swelling buds in one place or another. One of the kids was called Camel. She was tall and thin and loved playing handball.
274 | Kristin Auestad Danielsen ~ Norway
CAMEL
LITTLE SEAL
It’s rubbish being a big sister and having little sisters. They’re very irri-
I know it’s a bit weird but – and I haven’t actually had a period yet – but
tating. It’s not OK that they use up your 300 kroner shampoo that you’ve
what I think about periods is that they don’t really kind of fit in. They
bought out of your own money. And then my parents say I’m overreact-
don’t fit in anywhere. It’s like you pour blackberry squash all over the
ing because my body’s full of hormones at the moment. And then they
table and you’re not supposed to dry it up, just make sure it doesn’t run
laugh at me. Once I had a shot at goal and my shot caught Camilla, our
over the edge.
keeper, right on one of her boobs, and she just crumpled up, ’cause as I say I’d just hit in the boob and they told me afterwards, well, I knew
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
actually, that she’d just started getting boobs and I know of course that
And then there was Moomin Prince. The only boy. Or man. And Flappety
that hurts. But I was in such a piss-awful mood that day I couldn’t even
Crow and Darty Prawn. And together they would play, going wherever
be bothered saying sorry and got like cross with Camilla instead. That
the mood, season, weather and jealousy would take them. Now they had
it was actually her fault that I hurt her. And then I got really pissed off
reached 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 years of age. But they were still going to
and then I’m really nasty.
play with their dolls, play hide-and-seek and with their French skipping
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
and play a concert on the island just for them. He’d come down the val-
In one of the canoes sat Little Seal. Little Seal was small and round and
ley, make his way to the lake and paddle over in a canoe and there by
gentle and loved swimming.
the mountain Justin Bieber would give an intimate concert (The kids all
elastic. They would dream that one day Justin Bieber was going to come
sing ”Baby” by Justin Bieber in the background) to a shrieking crowd of
The Dark Cloud | 275
Moomin Princes, Camels, Flappety Crows, Darty Prawns and Little Seals.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
That’s what they’d dream about. Oh, yes indeed.
They sorted out the practical things about food and cleaning with a little
See how still the water is. See how beautiful the island is.
(Enter Marilyn Monroe.)
help from their rambling rosey friends Marilyn Monroe,
Careful now. Now we’re here. We’ve just got to get safely out of the
MARILYN MONROE
canoes. And there’s Snow White and Sleeping Beauty waiting! They look
Hello.
lovely; beautiful women! SNOW GUINEA-PIG (They arrive at the island where Snow White and Sleeping Beauty stand
and Pamela Anderson.
waiting to give out cinnamon buns from large baskets.
(Enter Pamela Anderson.)
SNOW WHITE
PAMELA ANDERSON
Welcome to us, nice children.
Hello.
SLEEPING BEAUTY
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
Hi; here we are.
Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson were particularly good with hot water bottles, comfort, crying, jealousy, tampons and STs, body hair and heartbreak.
276 | Kristin Auestad Danielsen ~ Norway
MARILYN MONROE and PAMELA ANDERSON
Kristin Auestad Danielsen was born in Torshavn in
And crochet patterns.
1981 and grew up in Gjesdal.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
She has a Bachelor’s Degree in literature, studied writ-
And crochet patterns.
ing in Tromsø and undertook playwriting studies in Århus. In 2004 her one-act play, Bartender, was performed as
…
part of the Drama Festival at Det Norske Teatret. In 2005, Gyldendal published her poetry collection Alle i Norge, i tre, i hengekøyer. In 2011, she wrote the text for Hjemløs, which had its premiere on 15th September at the
Translated by Neil Howard
Odense Teater in Denmark.
kim Playing | 277
GuNNAr GErMuNDSoN ~ NorWAy
Kim Playing Kim leker
Brageteatret ~ Drammen, Norway www.brageteatret.no ~ Š www.dramatikkenshus.no
278 | Gunnar Germundson ~ Norway Summary
Text Extract
Kim doesn’t like his new home; he’s got the smallest room and a new
Petrol Station Evening
mother who doesn’t trust him. Kim, wanting to punish his father for
KIM, a boy with red hair, lies asleep under a sign reading ”Petrol”.
dragging him away from the life he knew, sleeps outside at night and
Kim is lying on a blanket and has a pillow under his head.
refuses to come home for dinner. Everyone in Kim’s vicinity has a sum-
JON calls in the distance.
mer job: His step-sister Becky is looking after Kim’s new-born halfbrother while his big brother Jon is getting paid for looking after Kim.
JON
Kim won’t accept his big brother’s playing dad in his father’s absence
Kim!
and won’t be caught. In the end, he gets tired of running away and hiding. To protect himself and raise his status, Kim employs a watchman…
The darkness thickens. A torch comes on. DAG walks past Kim, the torch in his hand. Dag fails to notice Kim despite sweeping the area with the beam of light. Dag is just about old enough to work as a guard. He is wearing a black jacket with “Guard” written in white on the back. The letters seem somewhat home-made. (This role, incidentally, may be played by a girl.) Dag paces across the petrol station forecourt.
Kim Playing | 279
Dag defines a boundary line using a piece of chalk. Owing to the dark-
Dag starts, jumps over to the other side of the beam of light, turns and
ness, the chalk line is not very clearly seen.
raises his arms ready to strike out.
Dag puts the torch down at the edge of the forecourt so that the beam
Kim now stands exactly where DAG stood previously.
of light shines along the chalk line. Dag walks up and down alongside the beam of light on the side clos-
KIM
est to Kim.
Has anything happened?
JON again calls in the distance. DAG JON
Where did you come from?
Kim! KIM Kim awakes and gets up in the dark without DAG being aware of him.
What are you standing here for?
Kim rolls his pillow into the blanket. With the pack under his arm, Kim walks over towards DAG who is look-
DAG
ing in the opposite direction.
I asked you where you came from!
KIM
KIM
Hi!
I asked first.
280 | Gunnar Germundson ~ Norway
DAG
DAG
I’m securing the area!
Get out of here!
KIM
KIM
Oh?
What?
DAG
DAG
I work for the petrol station.
Find somewhere else to kip!
I asked you where you came from!? KIM KIM
No-one said it wasn’t ok...
I’ve been here for hours. DAG DAG
Wasn’t ok!
So what have you been doing here for hours? KIM KIM Having a kip.
...to have a kip here.
Kim Playing | 281
DAG
KIM
Not!
Are you just playing? Or are you for real?
Kim begins to walk along his side of the beam of light; Dag tracks him on the other side.
DAG You’re on a forbidden area!
KIM There’s no sign against it.
Kim turns abruptly and makes off in the other direction alongside the beam of light.
DAG
Dag follows.
It’s not OK! Get it? KIM KIM
You were looking the other way.
I don’t see a sign saying ”No Kipping” anywhere.
Making sure no-one got in. But I’m already in.
DAG Enough bullshit!
DAG Yes! And it’s not allowed.
282 | Gunnar Germundson ~ Norway
KIM But you’re standing on the other side of the boundary.
DAG Go home or go anywhere you like!
DAG
Get a life!
Go home!
Find something else to do with your summer holiday!
KIM I haven’t got a home.
Kim walks with one foot either side of the beam of light.
DAG
KIM
You don’t look particularly homeless!
But! Which way am I allowed to go?
KIM
Dag grabs Kim.
You should turn off your torch.
JON has come closer; calls again.
You’ll lose your night vision. May be that’s why
JON
you don’t know
Kim!
which way to look? Kim blocks the light and the boundary disappears.
Dag releases Kim and turns towards the voice.
Kim Playing | 283
Kim runs off and hides in the dark.
JON
Dag takes a pace backwards, across the beam of light.
Go on, watchman Dag, just a little peek?
Dag now stands where he first stood.
Please?
JON, older than Kim, but with the same red hair, enters walking towardsDag. Jon and Dag stand opposite each other on either side of the beam
Kim likes the smell of petrol.
of light.
Jon peers after Kim, tries to cross the beam of light but Dag blocks his way.
DAG Sorry. Closed.
DAG
JON
Move back!
I’m looking for a boy.
It’s my job
With hair like mine. Kim.
to watch this boundary.
Sorry pal!
My name’s Jon and I’m his brother. What’s your name?
Jon begins walking alongside the beam of light; Dag tracks him on the other side.
DAG My name’s Dag.
JON
And you can’t look here.
It’s my job to look for Kim.
284 | Gunnar Germundson ~ Norway
DAG
DAG
Are you deaf!?
You’ll still be doing your job
JON
of the boundary!
if you search on your side I have to look where I think Kim is. Kim sneaks over to the torch and suddenly spins it round. DAG
While the light is spinning, Kim, with his blanket and pillow under his
Do you mean that I shouldn’t
arm, runs past Jon who is still on the ground.
do my job?
Jon sees Kim and leaps to his feet. Jon follows after Kim.
JON
Dag stops the torch spinning and turns it off.
You do yours and I’ll do mine.
…
DAG Exactly! Translated by Neil Howard Dag puffs up his chest and suddenly pushes it into Jon so he falls over backwards.
Kim Playing | 285
Gunnar Germundson (b. 1962) made his debut in 1991 with a radio play for NRK after completing his writing studies in Bø. He then took a master’s degree in sociology and did not become a full-time dramatist until Peppen, ut was produced by the National Theatre in 1998, performed later the same year at the Norwegian Drama Festival, published as a book and produced as a radio play for NRK. Gunnar has subsequently written a number of radio plays and a film (The Radio Pirates). From 2006 to 2012, he has led the Writers Guild of Norway.
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More New Theatre Plays from Europe & South America
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