Elaine Fisher
ISSUE 9
ISSUE 8 FRIDAY 11TH SEPTEMBER FRIDAY 21ST AUGUST 2020 2020
A woman walks into a library and asked if they have any books on paranoia. Quick as a flash, the librarian said, “they’re right behind you.” Angela Cunningham
Potato to Onion
“What makes you think people like you are better than me?” said Potato. “When you are peeled,” replied the Onion, “no one sheds a single tear.” Rena Quinn
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DRAGON PEARL GREY MATTER: A CHALLENGE
First day back at school. Loonie Dragon wearing his gleaming pearl between his menacing sharp teeth was bullying everyone bellowing spits of fire. He boasts he can recite the 26 letters of the alphabet, A to Z, absolutely correctly in 15 seconds. He sneered down wee Jimmy’s wee brain, teasing him and saying how useless he was. Jimmy said “OK, your Pearl against my Grey Matter (brain cells). “The challenge is who can recite the 26 alphabets BACKWARDS i.e. Z to A correctly in the shortest time” Guess what? Jimmy won – 45 seconds to Dragon’s 2 minutes. His trophy? “The Pearl.” No terrifying exams, no guesswork from his teachers and most of all no algorithm! And now…you have a try! Kit McKeown
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I dressed up my doll with a shirt, which I made out of my plain purple sock and a skirt, which I made out of soft paper. Sammi Siani
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‘Doug’ by Rob Haughie
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I love reading the letters and looking at the artwork, so I thought I would try something myself, I copied this from a photo. Isabel Kean
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BREATH – LIVE LONG AND PROSPER Preparation: sit on a comfortable chair with good back support. Rest your feet on the floor (shoes off is best!) Support your feet with book or cushion if required. Put a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door. Dim the lights and put on some soothing quiet music. Rest one hand on lap or cushion with your palm facing upwards. Have diagram (on page opposite) in view and you are READY! Use your index finger of one hand to trace around the other. Start at the base of your thumb and wrist. Breath in slowly and deeply count 1,2,3,4,5 quietly. Now close your eyes or lower your gaze at the top of the thumb. Hold your breath, 1,2 then a slow steady breath out down inside of thumb 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 Up index finger – breathing in 1 to 5. At the top of index finger. Hold breath. 1,2 continue down index finger – breath out 1 to 7 count, continue breathing in/hold/breathing out on middle, ring and pinkie fingers. At the wrist. Hold. Hold breath 1,2. Now place your free thumb on the centre of your palm – the red dot and breathe in and out normally whilst pressing down for two minutes. Feel the soles of your feet connecting downwards with mother earth, let your mind feel free. Any distractions outside be aware of them but let them pass. Now takes a deep breath out and open your eyes. Give your hands a shake. Repeat with other hand. On completion notice how your body and mind feels. Hope you have enjoyed the experience. Kit McKeown
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I have been OK, up at my mum’s and out for a coffee with her, my brother and sister in law. We’ve had some nice weather, been really hot. I am now 55, was my birthday on 10th August. I feel lucky and fortunate in most ways. Being a fan of the Beatles I think Paul McCartney knew me in a past life. He wrote Old Siam, Sir: In a village of Old Siam, sir There’s a lady who lost her way In an effort to find a man, sir She found herself in the old UK And before that he and John Lennon wrote Eleanor Rigby about a woman you never knew. Susan Milligan
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Elaine Fisher
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,**Ja/rL I have just begun to read the work of Freddy Anderson, it’s "ul**iso Glasgow. I am enjoying his poetry and connections with Akr FA:T'RY@ PLATFoRM the east end of Glasgow. j,o,
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Edward Henry
Five points to Susan who wrote in with a full set of answers to Robert’s Magnificent Seven quiz Actors Yul Brynner Steve McQueen Charles Bronson Robert Vaughn James Coburn Horst Buchholz 19 Brad Dexter
Characters Chris Adams Vin Tanner Bernardo O’Reilly Lee Britt Chico Harry Luck
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