introverts vs. extroverts

Imagine you're at a function. Whatever function you want it to be. There are lots of people there; some of which you know. After hours of nonstop socialising and action, how do you feel?

This is a simple test that determines one thing: if you're an introvert or an extrovert. You may already know, but what does it actually mean?

The idea behind this test is where you get your energy from biologically. Extroverts get their energy from their surroundings, and when there is more going on and more stimulation they are more energised; explaining why they would be ready for the afterparty. Extroverts can feel pretty sluggish and bored if there’s nothing happening. On the contrary, Introverts gain energy from calmer environments and feel more switched on when there’s less stimulation coming at them. When Introverts are in a full-on situation, their ‘social battery’ can easily drain from everything going on, and need to charge with some down time.

It’s alright if you feel that you like alone time, but you also need people. A lot of you may be thinking, what about ambiverts? Well, according to the Myer-Briggs website, ‘Ambiverts’ as a separate category in between Introverts and Extroverts do not exist. Here’s why: everyone is both an introvert and extrovert. Extroversion/ introversion is often compared to being right/left handed. It’s a part of your DNA, but just because you’re dominant with one hand it doesn’t mean your other hand is completely useless. Introversion/extroversion also changes depending on the environment you’re in. You may act more introverted around strangers but be completely extroverted at home or during recess. There are plenty of myths and misconceptions towards Introversion/ Extroversion. First up is myths about Extroverts:

Extroverts are bad listeners: Extroverts tend to interrupt a conversation more than Introverts. However, in order to add in a little extra to the conversation or agree on a point, they must be listening to the conversation. Extroverts can easily make a conversation longer by paraphrasing and asking open-ended questions, and from this, and sustaining a conversation, Extroverts can create or strengthen bonds with others in the conversations. If Extroverts are bad listeners, they wouldn’t be able to do this.

Extroverts are happier: This myth ties back to an age old question of ‘What makes a person happy?’. Everyone expresses happiness in different ways, and different things make each person happy. Extroverts may just express this happiness more than Introverts, or make it more obvious. Introverts thrive in less buzzing environments, and so they can be as happy as Extroverts; just; nobody is around to witness it.

Extroverts are more social:

The basis of this myth is the assumption that Introverts are antisocial, meaning Extroverts must be the opposite: sociable. As outlined, Introverts and Extroverts can socialise, it's the tolerance level how much socialising they feel comfortable with that makes the difference. Because Extroverts get energy from a buzzing environment; then of course they will appear more social than Introverts in most scenarios.

But, let us not forget about our Introverts. What are some common misconceptions about Introverts?

Introverts are shy/quiet:

This may appear to be the case, but really, it's not. Introverts can seem quiet at first sight when they’re in a group, but that's because Introverts tend to think before speaking and process things internally, whereas Extroverts don’t. By thinking first, Introverts take a longer time to speak and that's when they appear quiet, especially around lots of people or new people. If one took the time to get to know an Introvert, they’ll soon discover how much they do speak. This ‘thinking before speaking’ is also a reason why Introverts appear shy too. Appearing shy can be seen as not saying much, or not being overly involved in a conversation. Being shy is a way people avoid social disapproval or humiliation. Introversion is a preference for environments that aren’t overstimulating.

So, as you can see, we tend to jump to conclusions and judge others based on whether they love being the centre of attention or not. However, in reality, much of what we believe has its flaws, and it is important to debunk them in order to gain a more holistic outlook. Because, introvert or extrovert, while apparently polar in nature are really just two sider of a coin, and to better understand ourselves and society, we need to turn the coin over and give it a polish.

Introverts don’t take risks: What stops you from taking a risk? This same question needs to be applied to this myth. Taking risks revolves around fears and desires, and doesn’t have anything to do with introversion or extroversion. Plus, the other point to make is the risk itself. A risk could be mountain climbing, or a risk could be telling someone your honest opinion. For an introvert, telling someone an honest opinion may be super daunting, or it may not be. This myth isn’t accurate in the slightest. Introverts are more likely to be affected by mental illness: I’m going to say straight out: this is not true at all. This myth is based on the assumption that because someone isn’t talkative and doesn’t gel with a big group that it will influence their mental health negatively. How social you are doesn’t always link into or directly to the likelihood of developing a mental illness. For that, we need to look at biology, childhood trauma, family history and overall character and temperament.

Introverts don’t make good public speakers: There are actually many people who speak well that are Introverts, they prepare and practise well before giving a talk, and draw from their strengths, and being exactly who they are. Even though Extroverts may have the acting side of speaking down more naturally, Introverts can develop this part of speaking. Speaking also requires focus, listening and reflection, which is a part of introversion nature.