The Best Of... - Best of Seattle 2012 by Sound Publishing

AUGUST 1–7, 2012 I VOLUME 37 I NUMBER 31

SEE P PAGE PA GE 95

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM I FREE

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6:00 - 9:00 PM Featuring 30 Northwest boutique wineries showcasing their reds, whites and rosé wines for your summer enjoyment.

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Enjoy live music on the scenic North Meadow, animal experiences and access to zoo exhibits.

TICKETS $25 if purchased in advance $30 on the day of the event Tickets available at www.zoo.org/wine Adults 21 and over only. ID required. This is an after-hours and environmentally friendly fundraising event, so BYOG (Bring Your Own Glass).

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

inside» August 1-7, 2012 VOLUME 37 | NUMBER 31 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

Music lovers, unite. 156TH NE AVE

The Pacific Northwest’s music scene is legendary—and every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night we serve up a slice of it right here at Crossroads. So come listen, dance and start your weekend on a high note.

H ST

NE 8T

»11

up front 7 NEWS

THE DAILY WEEKLY | Duff McKagan

bids J.P. Patches farewell. Also: a candidate’s unorthodox workout method. And are feral pigs coming to get you?

11 BEST OF SEATTLE® 2012

Our annual big wet kiss to the city, with 260 of our recommendations, from Best Margarita to Best Villain. Also, find out what you chose in our Readers’ Poll.

reverb monthly

»cover credits

PHOTO BY: MICHAEL CLINARD COPYRIGHT © 2012 BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. ISSN 0898 0845 • SEATTLE WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. 1008 WESTERN AVE., STE. 300, SEATTLE, WA 98104 • SEATTLE WEEKLY® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK. • PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT SEATTLE, WA • POSTMASTER: SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO SEATTLE WEEKLY, 1008 WESTERN AVE., STE. 300, SEATTLE, WA 98104 • FOUNDED 1976. MAIN SWITCHBOARD: 206-623-0500 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING: 206-623-6231 RETAIL AND ONLINE ADVERTISING: 206-467-4341

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THE WEEKLY WIRE

Music for kissing Ryan Gosling, the best movie of 1973, and the thunder of Seafair.

98 ARTS

98 | OPENING NIGHTS | Fake cowboys and a revival of Rent. 100 | VISUAL ARTS | The Henry spins the oldies.

103 FILM

THIS WEEK’S ATTRACTIONS

magic...

Chinese dissidents, Danish debauchery, Palestinian protesters, and more.

107 FOOD

Magically suspended, your diamond is most brilliant Exclusively...

other stuff 99 | 101 | 104 | 109 | 115 | 116 |

PERFORMANCE VISUAL ARTS FILM CALENDAR FEATURED EATS TOKE SIGNALS DATEGIRL

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Correction: In our July 25 cover story, Nina Shapiro’s photo misidentified the tall, skinny Queen Anne house that would be torn down should a peeved set of neighbors win a lawsuit against its developer. The tall, skinny house in the photo was nothing short of an architectural triumph. We apologize to all involved in constructing it.

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This month, it’s all about karaoke: Dave Lake explores the industry’s piracy problem; Jeff Roman picks his favorite spots; and Rachel Belle, Regina Spektor, and David Stoesz share their secrets. Plus, John Roderick tells Jay Inslee how to win. Fill your August with a show a day in our concert calendar, and read reviews of every local record release. Find it all following page 60.

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Walk (or roll) in the 21st Annual PAWSwalk and raise money to help animals. Saturday, September 8 King County’s Marymoor Park, in Redmond Register at PAWSwalk.net

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news»The Daily Weekly »DISPATCHES FROM OUR NEWS AND MUSIC BLOGS

R.I.P., J.P. Patches

Duff McKagan pays homage to a Seattle legend.

DAN

was driving home from the Capitol Hill Block Party two Sunday nights ago. I had a Ford Expedition full of five kids, some out-of-town friends, and my wife Susan. I had just played a really fun gig with some Seattle pals, and was just kind of living in the moment of a sunny evening with teenage girls and rock and roll. Susan was checking the news on her iPhone, and gently but suddenly announced that J.P. Patches had passed away. I slowed down . . . it was a huge shot in the gut. I stopped the car. My kids could never know the importance of the passing of J.P. to me. Our out-of-town guests most certainly couldn’t either. Everyone in the car did notice the teardrop down my right cheek. Suddenly the car got quiet, and Susan awkwardly tried to explain J.P. Patches to all these kids and out-of-towners. The importance of J.P. Patches may not make any sense to any of you under the age of, say, 34 or 35—and will certainly not make any sense to those of you outside our area—but J.P. Patches, to people like me who grew up under his watchful and hilarious eye, informed us all about a unique sense of humor that had so much to do with the town. I realized then that the J.P. Patches formation of the identity of this town. I’m show had put a very unique slant on our serious. town—and I can even make the statement J.P.’s TV show ran here daily for 20 years. that if you like the “vibe” of a lot of those It was for kids, and ran in the morning as we bands I just mentioned, then somehow you were all getting ready for school. We didn’t were getting a secondhand look into how know the difference, but it was improv at J.P. had made us here in its best, and played to the Pacific Northwest two levels of humor just a bit different. (we always wondered PRINT IS GREAT, but if you want to see the YouTube . . . In the ’90s, when I why our parents would videos that helped Seattle police identify first met Susan, we did watch along with us and Justin Ferrari’s alleged killer, you’ll have that thing all young couchuckle at some skit to check out The Daily Weekly. ples do—we informed whose humor was above SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY each other of the things our heads). All that we that influenced us. My kids knew—we “Patches “most important things” that she HAD to Pals,” as we were known—was that we had know were a love for early punk rock and the coolest morning show in the world. Prince, a love of the Seattle SuperSonics (a Back then, from the early ’60s to the early deal-breaker)—and she had to understand J.P. ’80s, Seattle was a full-on working-class town. Patches. I think once she saw that J.P. Patches All we really had was Boeing and timber, and TV special, she suddenly got a huge insight to the rest of the world, we were thought of as into my psyche as a whole . . . and I don’t lumberjacks living in teepees. We were “way think that I am overstating this. up THERE.” On Sunday night and Monday morning, a When I moved to Los Angeles in the midbunch of guys my age started texting and call’80s, it became very apparent that all these ing each other. These are a bunch of tough people who I was meeting who weren’t dudes, if you ask me, but these tough dudes from Seattle didn’t get some of my humor. were all like myself . . . a bit lost now with the I realized then that a lot of my humor came fact that J.P. Patches had passed away. from J.P. and Gertrude and Boris S. Wort and Some of you may assume that we guys are Ketchikan the Animal Man. I was on my own just more acutely aware of the passage of little lonely humor island down there. time, and that the death of a childhood icon But then bands from Seattle started to just signals another signpost. But it’s more come down to L.A., and I would get a kick than that. If you are from Seattle or the surout of the swath of Los Angelenos scratchrounding area and older than 34 or 35, J.P. ing their heads at the inside jokes after Patches still made you feel like a kid, still bands like the U-Men, Mudhoney, Mother made you laugh, and still made you unique Love Bone, and early Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains would come to » CONTINUED ON PAGE 9 INO

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Nurture • your • CalliNg “ I hope to build a career that balances research and helping patients heal.

”

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Joshua Goldenberg C lass of 2013

Create a Healthier World Degrees Include: Naturopathic Medicine • Human Biology Acupuncture & Oriental Medicine • Exercise Science Seattle • San Diego Seattle • San Diego Learn more: info.Bastyruniversity.edu • 425.603.3330

news» The Daily Weekly » from page 7 and proud to be different in whatever wacky way that was. Godspeed, J.P. Patches. Rest in peace, Chris Wedes. You will be greatly missed, and thank you for making Seattle feel like we were special. Duff McKagan

Windle and His Lumber

The Threat of Feral Swine

With a name like “Squeal on Pigs,” you know it’s got to be serious. And serious is exactly how officials with the Washington Invasive Species Council describe the threat posed by feral swine. This, according to the Council, is the reasoning behind the Squeal on Pigs campaign, a recently launched joint effort by Washington, Oregon, and Idaho to take down feral swine. While feral swine, feared for their ability to spread disease, have already left their mark on Oregon, Idaho, and many other parts of the country, Council spokesperson Susan Zemek says our state is in an “enviable position” to head off the potential problem. “We don’t believe [feral swine are] a huge problem in Washington, because we’ve had very few reports,” says Zemek, noting two sightings in our state since the 1990s. Still, Zemek says, “there’s not a big awareness” of the issue, which is what the Squeal on Pigs campaign aims to change. Since a feral-swine problem could cost the state hundreds of thousands of dollars should the animals gain a foothold, the Council has opted for a proactive approach. According to the Council’s website, invasivespecies.wa.gov, feral swine— “prolific breeders” that were brought to the United States from Europe and Asia and have since escaped or been set free—are extremely aggressive. The animals prefer a habitat with abundant water and dense cover, but are also “extremely adaptable.” Females typically weigh between 77 and 330 pounds, while a feral boar can weigh anywhere from 130 to a whopping 440 pounds. And, as Zemek points out, the bastards can swim—meaning rivers won’t stop their migration. Zemek says feral swine also dig like crazy, which can be extremely destructive to agricultural fields as well as ponds and wetlands, where aquatic vegetation can be severely impacted. The Squeal on Pigs campaign has created a hotline and online system to report sightings, to be later investigated by the state Department of Fish and Wildlife. Zemek says that if a feral-swine population is confirmed, the pigs will be trapped, removed, or killed. Operation Squeal on Pigs is in full effect. Matt Driscoll E

news@seattleweekly.com

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

A seconds-long snippet of James Windle’s introductory campaign video has changed the dynamic of the race for what’s currently Dave Reichert’s 8th Congressional District seat. Heading into the August primary, it’s put the focus on a familiar issue for our state: timber. But instead of the logging industry, people are talking about a specific piece of timber—the 5-foot, 37-pound log Windle totes on his back during workouts. Windle is an Independent who returned to his home state of Washington to make a run for Congress after years spent in various impressive capacities in Washington, D.C.—most recently as an associate dean and instructor at the Department of Defense’s National Defense University, and, in what Windle calls an “intense eight or nine years,” working for the White House Office of Management and Budget and the House Appropriations Committee. A longtime outdoorsy type (fittingly, given his Sammamish roots), somewhere along the way Windle picked up the—shall we say, unusual habit of exercising by running with a large log on his back. When four seconds of that unorthodox workout made its way into a Windle campaign video, people, and the media, took note. “It wasn’t a true campaign gimmick, because I have to admit I was doing this before I ran for office. And I did what I could to kind of keep it in the backdrop,” says Windle of his log-based workouts, noting he suspected the topic might become a distraction. And while Windle has other things he’d probably rather talk about—like his experience, or how, as an Independent, he believes he’s a good fit for the 8th—if it’s his log that opens the door to conversations about his candidacy and credentials, he’s OK with that. “If it gets people to ask more about me, then, when you’re an Indie, that’s kind of what we roll with,” says Windle. More than simply rolling with it, Windle’s campaign is embracing it. In reaction to the recent interest in his unique workout routine, Windle has scheduled a final campaign push in the form of log-carrying runs through various communities in the 8th District during the week leading up to the August 7 primary.

Windle’s not above recognizing the humor in the situation. “I’m very, very serious, and I think my resume supports that I’m a very serious candidate—but at the same time, politics is hilarious,” he says. Matt Driscoll

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

s the great Grand Blanc (Mich.) philosopher Karl Welzein once said, “Why worry about tomorrow when tonight’s already tonight?” Exactly. The economy’s been so crummy for so long that to dwell on the inevitable hangover is an exercise in redundancy. Fun can be had in the here and now; all you need is the proper amount of carbonated libations, and silver linings—Silver Bullets, if you’re watching your waistline—will beckon. So with apologies to Miller High Life, consider 2012 the Champagne of Years. Don’t let an early Thursday wake-up call prevent you from living it up at tonight’s Best of Seattle Party (Pier 66, 7–10 p.m.). It could be worse. We could be under siege by armed enemy combatants, Greg Nickels could still be mayor (actually, we wish that were the case), and faux-hawks could still be in style. We could, like the rest of the country, be in the midst of an epic, crop-obliterating drought. And, despite our fault lines, Seattle’s yet to suffer its oftpredicted Big Quake. See, there’s lots to be thankful for. And in this, our annual Best of Seattle® issue, we celebrate the very best people, places, and products our talented, techedout* town has to offer. You’ll read about what you voted for, and what our staff holds in highest esteem. Taken altogether, this issue makes for a damn fine excuse to celebrate. Tonight, remember, is already tonight. Grab it by the bottleneck and pop its cork. Mike Seely

IN ARD L C L E A B Y M IC H E ( P. 13) P H o t os R A C H E L B E L L i nG F e at u R

*Got a Kindle or Kindle Fire? Subscribe to Seattle Weekly now (your first two issues are free) and get this massive Best of Seattle ® issue to keep with you all year, for nothin’.

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e e n h T hampag Cf Years o

13 s’ P icks R e a de R s 14 & P l ace 9 P eoP l e t2 a in m e n t R e t n e 3 a Rt s & dR in k 4 F oo d & s 65 se Rv ice Goo d s & 71 & c lu B s , s R a B m usic, n 85 c R e at io e R & s s P o Rt icks 95 sta F F P F o x e in d

When Small wins, crowds erupt and hearts open wide. Because Small earns it. Small is crafty. Feisty. Tireless. Small picks itself up off the mat. Over and over and over. Small never thumps its chest. Or talks in the third person. Small overcomes odds, skeptics, taunts and jeers. And has fun doing it. Small’s victories are always sweeter. To those who dream big no matter what their size...

WIN SMALL .

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

MINI

Seattle MINI 11550 Lake City Way NE Seattle, WA 98125-5328 (206) 588-4250

SEATTLEMINI.COM

best of seattle 2012

FRI SEPT 7

WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY

COMBO TICKET INCLUDES RODEO – CONCERT ONLY TICKETS AVAILABLE

SAT SEPT 8

CRAIG MORGAN

People & Places BEST POLITICIAN

Dow Constantine BEST NEIGHBORHOOD

Capitol Hill BEST SUBURB

Kirkland

BEST PARK

Discovery Park

Food & Drink

COMBO TICKET INCLUDES RODEO – CONCERT ONLY TICKETS AVAILABLE

BEST SUSHI

Umi Sake House

BEST DANCE CLUB

BEST THAI RESTAURANT

Neighbours

BEST BAKERY

Bakery Nouveau

Thai Tom

BEST BBQ

Jones BBQ

BEST GAY BAR BEST VEGETARIAN

Carmelita

BEST BREAKFAST

Elysian Brewing

Kells

Goods & Services

Ichiro (Go, Yankees!)

BEST BURGER

Red Mill

Rock Box

Gregg’s

Marshawn Lynch

BEST CHINESE RESTAURANT

Judy Fu’s Snappy Dragon

BEST SOUNDER

Fredy Montero

Linda’s

BEST SPORTSCASTER

Kevin Calabro

Trophy Cupcakes Skillet

Arts & Entertainment

The 2012 Web Awards

BEST PET STORE

BEST ONLINE JOURNALIST/ BLOGGER

Mud Bay

Dan Savage

BEST RECORD STORE

BEST ARTS OR MUSIC WEBSITE

Easy Street Records

FRI SEPT 14

JEFF FOXWORTHY SAT SEPT 15

JACKIE EVANCHO SUN SEPT 16

BEST DINER

BEST HOTEL

Fairmont Olympic

Bellevue Square

BEST CUPCAKES

BEST BOWLING ALLEY

The Garage

BEST MALL

kexp.org

ENRIQUE IGLESIAS MON SEPT 17

BIG TIME RUSH WITH VERY SPECIAL GUEST

CODY SIMPSON WED SEPT 19

DOOBIE BROTHERS WITH SPECIAL GUEST

BEST DOUGHNUTS

Top Pot

BEST PLACE TO BUY SEX TOYS

BEST NONPROFIT WEBSITE

BEST THRIFT STORE

BEST SMALL-BUSINESS WEBSITE

Babeland

dollarpermonth.org

THU SEPT 20

BEST FARMERS MARKET

Ballard Farmers Market

Goodwill

FRI SEPT 21

PITBULL

stokeharvester.com

Jemil’s Big Easy BEST FRIED CHICKEN

BEST CASINO

Tulalip

Ezell’s

SIFF

Po Dog

BEST ICE-CREAM PARLOR BEST MOVIE THEATER

Cinerama

Molly Moon’s

Seattle Art Museum BEST RADIO STATION

KEXP

BEST THEATER COMPANY

ACT

The Head and the Heart BEST HIP-HOP ARTIST

Macklemore

BEST TWITTER FEED, ORGANIZATION

@KOMONews

BEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT

BEST ALL-AGES VENUE

BEST USE OF FACEBOOK, ORGANIZATION

The Vera Project

KOMO News

BEST STEAKHOUSE

BEST BARTENDER

BEST USE OF FACEBOOK, INDIVIDUAL

Jak’s Metropolitan Grill (Tie)

Sub Pop

David Moravec at The Baltic Room

TRAIN

WITH VERY SPECIAL GUESTS

@JohnRoderick

La Carta de Oaxaca

SUN SEPT 23

One Bus Away

BEST LOCAL LABEL

Pagliacci

SAT SEPT 22

TIM MCGRAW

BEST MOBILE APP

BEST TWITTER FEED, INDIVIDUAL BEST PIZZA

BEST MUSEUM

Music, Bars, & Clubs BEST BAND

BEST HOT DOG BEST FILM FESTIVAL

BEST WEBSITE GRAPHICS

brownpapertickets.com

Just Sage

MAT KEARNEY AND

ANDY GRAMMER

ALL SHOWS RESERVED SEATING. Tickets at thefair.com/concerts. By phone 888-559-FAIR (3247) Puyallup Fair & Events Center Box Office

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Seattle Art Museum

DON FELDER

JEFF DUNHAM

BEST FOOD TRUCK BEST ART GALLERY

JAMIE GRACE

THE TACOMA SYMPHONY

BEST CANNABIS DISPENSARY

Dockside Co-Op

PLUS SPECIAL GUEST

WITH

Elliott Bay Book Co.

BEST COFFEEHOUSE

Caffé Vita

THU SEPT 13

TOBYMAC

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

BEST BOOKSTORE BEST SEAHAWK

WED SEPT 12

MARTINA MCBRIDE

BEST KARAOKE

BEST BIKE SHOP BEST MARINER

HEART

BEST IRISH PUB

Portage Bay Cafe BEST BREWERY

Neighbours

MON SEPT 10

Best Citizen

Technically, CHRIS HANSEN is not a citizen of Seattle. Dude lives in San Francisco, where he manages a gazillion-dollar hedge fund and presumably spends his evenings washing down caviar with champagne and lighting cigars with Ben Franklins. But Hansen, the son of humble social workers, was raised in Seattle and grew up rooting for the Sonics. He was as outraged as anyone when David Stern, Howard Schultz, and two scoundrels from Oklahoma conspired to rob the city of its only championship team besides the Storm. Now Hansen wants to invest his fortune repatriating the Sonics and building a brand-new arena to house them. He’s even willing to put up with the endless hemming, hawing, and handwringing of Seattle politics to make it happen. Lots of locals say they want to bring back the Sonics; Hansen put (a lot) of his money where his mouth is. KEEGAN HAMILTON

Best Local Boy Made Good

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Best Local Boy Gone Bad

Where, oh where can MICHAEL MASTRO be? The 87-year-old bankrupt Medina real-estate tycoon and his 62-yearold wife Linda are the nursing-home version of Bonnie and Clyde, on the lam since June 2011 when they failed to show for their latest court hearing. They were last seen en route to Canada—a few months after the old-timer had come out of a coma, no less. U.S. marshals aren’t saying where the duo might be, but a good guess is Italy, where the globetrotters spent much of their time and millions over the years. Even after declaring bankruptcy with as much as $570 million in debt, the couple continued to vacation in Europe, New York, and Palm Springs, keeping up $8,000-a-month payments on a Rolls-Royce and a Bentley. (Mastro’s lawyer said Mike was just trying to make his wife “happy in a difficult situation.”) Though they’ve lost a fortune and owe unsecured creditors more than $275 million, the Mastros absconded with Linda’s two diamond rings (27.8 and 15.93 carats), worth $1.5 million, which they’d been ordered to turn over to the court. They also could have stashed millions more in secret accounts prior to their getaway. “I was at a charity event recently,” Mastro’s attorney James Frush recently told The Seattle Times, “and I had people come up to me and swear they’d seen Mike and Linda in South America, or Europe,

For a while, it looked as though former Governor GARY LOCKE would never live up to his lofty expectations. State pols aren’t tapped to offer their national party’s response to the State of the Union for nothing, and Locke’s name swirled in vice-presidentialcandidate pools long before he aired his dissent against Bush. But his robotic, centrist style and Olympia’s tendency to swallow promising Democrats whole saw Locke sail off into the electoral sunset in 2005. But Obama offered the pride of Yesler Terrace a new political life free of ballots, first appointing him Commerce Secretary, then, in 2011, ambassador to China, arguably the most critical international diplomatic post outside of Secretary of State. When Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng sought asylum earlier this year, it was Locke who was shown shepherding him to safety, scaling the political peak years after many assumed he’d given up climbing for good. MIKE SEELY

& e l p o e P aces PL staff picks Staff Picks

(

Best Stroll

THE WATERFRONT

)

or Canada, or Sun Valley. It was ridiculous.” So where are they really? Says Frush: “I tell people they’re in the wine cellar at Canlis.” RICK ANDERSON usmarshals.gov

Best Local Girl Made Good

The story is painfully familiar: A lady with faith in her birth-control method fools around with a guy visiting from Oregon, and soon thereafter finds herself knocked up. “ANIAK sure showed us,” a Seattle Aquarium biologist told The Seattle Times, admit-

ting the sea-otter team had suspended Aniak’s birth-control shots, believing she was no longer fertile—a decision that presumably wasn’t shared with Aniak. With her one-time paramour out of the picture, Aniak was positioned to become an unsupported single mother. But when Sekiu arrived in January, the community rushed to Aniak’s side, flocking to the aquarium to view the happy mother and daughter. HANNA RASKIN 1483 Alaskan Way, 386-4300,

seattleaquarium.org

Best Local Girl Gone Bad

Once upon a time, PEGGY SUE THOMAS was a Las Vegas beauty queen known for her fiery red mane and millionaire husband, the owner of a Kentucky Derby-winning thoroughbred. These days, though, the 46-yearold former Ms. Washington stands accused of first-degree murder for a cold-blooded killing on Whidbey Island the day after Christmas 2003. Thomas allegedly helped her onetime boyfriend, James Huden, put a bullet in the head of Russel Douglas as part of a murder-

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

July 21 - August 19, 2012 www.5thavenue.org

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best of seattle 2012

People & Places

for-hire plot. She has pleaded not guilty to the charges, but the bizarre case has caused quite the stir on typically tranquil Whidbey, where Thomas was raised. Huden was found guilty July 23; Thomas will go on trial as his accomplice in November. KEEGAN HAMILTON

Best Villain

CLAY BENNETT was giddy with anticipation. The lyin’, franchise-stealin’ owner of Oklahoma City’s professional basketball team watched his Thunder—the former Seattle Sonics—win the Western Conference finals this year, then set his greedy eyes on the National Basketball Association championship. Bennett relished the possibility that, having stolen Seattle’s team (with the coconspiratorial assist of Howard Schultz), he could rub it in a little more by beating Miami and taking the franchise back to the pinnacle the Supes had reached in 1979. Seattle hoop fans, suddenly forced to pick their villains, threw their support behind the Heat’s LeBron James, helping make Washington and Florida the only two states cheering for a Miami win. As it turned out, Bennett had to settle for that Western title, as the Heat beat OKC in five games. Even better: Seeing the Clayman on TV after the final NBA title game—glumly patting the backs of his defeated players as they filed into the locker room—Sonics fans again had something to whoop about. RICK ANDERSON nba.com/thunder

Best Supervillain

Most villains don’t have a sense of humor. Even the Joker, despite his name, preferred gasps to laughs. REX VELVET, on the other hand, is on a mission to make madcap mockery of grown men in costume. The mustachioed rogue’s preferred medium is YouTube, and his missives to Phoenix Jones and the Rain City Superheroes are criminally funny. Whether cruising in a DeLorean, unleashing a horde of vicious housecats, or deriding Jones and his sidekicks as “a silly gang of misfit Power Rangers,” hilarity is Velvet’s weapon of choice. He may not be much for committing actual evil deeds, but as the oneeyed bad guy once remarked, “It takes a great man of distinguished character to cripple you psychologically.” KEEGAN HAMILTON facebook.com/RexVelvet

When people get angry, sometimes they yell. When Seattle real-life superhero PHOENIX JONES gets angry online, HE GOES ALL CAPS ON THAT ASS. It’s his signature move, ready to be grabbed from his utility belt of ridiculousness at any moment and unleashed on anyone who crosses him. And it’s effective. You can practically feel the real-life vitriol dousing you in the face. This of course is way better than finding yourself on the wrong end of Jones’ gigantic can of pepper spray—which can happen when Jones gets angry in real life. MATT DRISCOLL twitter.com/thephoenixjones

Best Mayor

After just over six months in office, Pacific, Wash., Mayor CY SUN has cleaned house in the little King/Pierce County burg of 6,800

253-929-1108, cityofpacific.com/mayor.html.

Best Mayor in the Making

Mike McGinn’s improbable ascendance to City Hall in 2009, and the subsequent pothole-strewn two and a half years of his first (and only) term, carries a cautionary tale about electing as our mayor someone who has never held public office. Thirty-five years ago, it worked out well—to the tune of three terms—with Charley Royer. This time around? Not so much. Meanwhile, the anti-McGinn is serving his second term on the city council, and as a former cop (seven years as a Seattle police officer and detective), TIM BURGESS is ideally suited to tackle the problem that SPD has become under McGinn’s tenure, possessing the credibility and legitimacy with the boys in blue that Mayor Mike lacks. Formerly chair of the Public Safety committee, currently chair of the Government Performance and Budget committees, Burgess’ five-year voting record on the council has been moderate and progressive; he’s a good fit for the city’s voter profile. His diverse background includes work in the late ’60s and early ’70s as a news reporter for KJR radio, work for an international relief and development agency, and a dozen years on the city’s Ethics and Elections Commission. He’s a Seattle native who grew up on Capitol Hill, attended Lincoln High School in Wallingford and the UW, and lives on Queen Anne. A down-to-earth guy who walks and rides the bus, he’s one of us, in a way the Long Island-born-and-raised McGinn never could be. Will he run next year? Only he knows. But he should. MICHAEL MAHONEY seattle.gov/ council/burgess

Best Local Politician

A Seattle City Council member for 14 years, NICK LICATA has gained some forehead and a lot of finesse. Still a rabble-rouser when necessary, he’s become the council’s reasoned voice of experience. He tends to say what a lot of folks are thinking—when police failed to fully disclose their aerial drone program, for example, that “played into people’s worst fears” of being spied on by the government, he observed. When police blamed guns, not gangs, for a recent spike in homicides, he thought they were missing the point; the need is to connect deeper with the community, he said, and overcome the unwillingness to assist investigations. That’s “one of the biggest barriers to effective policing . . . How do we demonstrate to [citizens] that they can trust

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Best Use of ALL CAPS and a Giant Can of Pepper Spray

residents: firing two department heads, including the police chief, while accepting the resignations of two others. He has also turned down the mayor’s $750 monthly salary, working for free. The payroll differences and other cost cuts total more than $260,000 in savings, Sun figures. It’s a turnaround for a small town struggling with its budget, and many are applauding the new mayor whose promises of such savings earned him office as a write-in candidate, no less. Still, the jury is out on the new measures’ long-term effects, and the city council has passed a “no confidence” vote against the 82-year-old my-wayor-the-highway mayor. His response? “Give me some slack!” RICK ANDERSON Mayor Cy Sun,

best of seattle 2012

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us?” An opponent of earlier stadium deals, Licata thinks the proposed SoDo arena is doable as long as it complies with Initiative 91, guaranteeing a “fair value” return on the city’s investment (the council, he says, is simply “looking for a way to say ‘yes’ ” so the arena can be built). Licata continues his longtime efforts to make life better for the city’s homeless; considers the Occupy demonstrations “today’s civil-rights movement”; and during council committee, reads poetry. Out loud. RICK ANDERSON 684-8803, seattle.gov/council/licata

Best New Congressional District

Well, they’re all new this year—but some are newer than others. A creation of two mad (political) scientists, three-term Republican Senator Slade Gorton and Tim “The Shark” Ceis, Greg Nickels’ consigliere, THe NeW 9TH isn’t what it used to be. The old 9th, created as a swing district in 1992 and revamped after the 2000 census, was classic south King/north Pierce, a mass of fast-growing suburbia spilling down from Seattle’s southern edge like a lahar, skirting most of Tacoma but flowing past Olympia deep into Thurston County. The new 9th—a product of the 10th’s creation, the 8th’s expansion south and east, and alterations to the 6th and 7th—is smaller, denser, younger, and darker. The old district was two-thirds white, a number that falls to just under 50 percent in the new district. How that translates to registered voters and actual votes this November remains to be seen. The 9th, which now contains more King County residents than the Seattle-based 7th, has been represented since 1997 by Adam Smith, a moderate, blue-collar Democrat who has seen his district’s demographics lurch to the left while he stayed rooted in the center. He’s no longer that great a fit for his constituency: The hawkish Smith’s stature as ranking Democrat on the House Armed Services Committee means less now that Joint Base Lewis-McChord has been excised from his district. The 9th was created to increase the chances of electing a congressperson of color. Eventually, it will. MICHAEL MAHONEY

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Best Gadfly

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People & Places

What does it take to be a gadfly? To be kind and abrasive, thereby loved and hated. Which is how KeN SCHRAM makes his living—and what keeps audiences tuning in to hear his plain-talking interviews and news commentary on KOMO radio and TV and watch him hand out his Schrammies, awards bestowed upon the city’s most deserving schmuck-of-the-day. A recent recipient was city councilmember Richard Conlin for “jumping the shark and the gun” by concluding that developer Chris Hansen and investors should pay for the proposed new SoDo sports arena themselves, with no city contribution. Green River Community College president Eileen Ely also got a trophy for her creation of gender-neutral bathrooms, “adding another layer of stress and anxiety to college life” by “creating confusion over where to seek relief.” Also deserving was Rick Brater, “a honcho” with the King County Department of Transportation, who backed a bridge for animals (“deer, cougars, and coyotes”) across a busy road in Redmond at

a cost of $6 million. Isn’t there a cheaper way to prevent roadkill? Schram asked. Crossing guards, maybe? RICK ANDERSON komonews.com

Best Worthy Cause

The first seven months of 2012 in Seattle have been marred by bloodshed. Already murders have outpaced 2011, with many of the shootings senseless and random. How do we stop the killing? Local politicians and lawenforcement officials have made much ado about cracking down on illegal firearms, but that’s treating a symptom, not the sickness. Fortunately, the city is already working to get to the root of the problem with a longterm remedy: THe SeATTLe YOUTH VIOLeNCe PReVeNTION INITIATIVe. The program dates back to 2008, when five teenagers were shot to death in Seattle. Since then, the city has invested $3.8 million annually in programs that aim to keep kids from ever aiming a gun. Educators, outreach workers, and other community members mentor repeat juvenile offenders, help truants get back in school, and otherwise provide positive alternatives and assistance for at-risk youth. Prevention, after all, is the best medicine. KEEGAN HAMILTON seattle.gov/neighborhoods/education/youthInitiative

Best Blog

Restaurants come and go, burglars break in and out, and someone always wants to tear down a nice old building and put up an ugly new one. If it happens in the neighborhood, CAPITOL HILL SeATTLe BLOG usually has the story. Development battles are of special interest on the hill, where new condos and apartment buildings are being shoehorned into an already densely populated neighborhood. The seven-story Melrose & Pine project will consume a good portion of East Pine’s “Bauhaus Block,” for example, where the fight is on to save existing buildings, CHS reports, providing blow-by-blow coverage. There’s also that proposed six-story apartment project at the Undre Arms site, a slim triangular plot at East Madison and East Union; it’ll force out several tenants unlikely to find similar low-rent space—another blow to the hill’s human-scale charm, the blog reports. Launched in 2006, the site includes an all-posts page to which any registered reader can contribute; the better write-ups are then published on the home page. “A neighborhood,” says CHS, “after all, should be defined by its neighbors.” RICK ANDERSON capitolhillseattle.com

Best Local Website

It was her passion for the neighborhood, Amber Campbell says, that pushed her to create and become editor of the RAINIER VALLEY POST, a mostly volunteer-run community website, relying a great deal on contributions from residents. It also helps, Campbell says, that she “rarely travels north of I-90 and is one of the nosiest neighbors you’ll ever meet.” All of which helps bring the news down to a personal level on the Post’s website, particularly after one of the drive-by shootings that plague the valley and result in eyewitness accounts from readers. It can also lead to scoops such as the Post’s report on

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best of seattle 2012

People & Places

Mayor Mike McGinn’s walkout at a valley Town Hall session. A television report quoted the mayor’s spokesperson as saying “anarchists” were responsible for harassing the mayor while he was trying to speak, resulting in his sudden departure in mid-talk. But as the Post noted, one of those supposed anarchists told the mayor her concern was racial, not radical: “Because we’re not white, you’re not listening,” she told him—although he wasn’t listening. A Post commenter pointed out that one of the mayor’s hecklers was in fact “a longtime community member who was involved in the original occupation of the very [African-American] museum this meeting was being held in—not some ‘outside agitator anarchist.’ ” The Seattle Times later followed up on the story. RICK ANDERSON rainiervalleypost.com

Best Lawyer

Brash, supremely confident, always ready with an outrageous remark, JOHN HENRY BROWNE is the defense attorney prosecutors love to hate and clients love to hire— especially the guilty ones. Now retirement age, Browne—whose client list includes deadly arsonist Martin Pang and Chinatown killer Benjamin Ng (who both avoided the death penalty)—just earned a plea-bargained, 7 1⁄2-year sentence for Colton Harris-Moore, the “Barefoot Bandit” who chalked up almost 70 violations during his crime spree from Washington to the Bahamas. Now Browne’s all over the international airwaves working up a defense for what could be his most infamous case yet: the defense of Robert Bales, the Joint Base Lewis-McChord staff sergeant charged with slaughtering 17 Afghan civilians in March. Browne immediately challenged the Pentagon to back up its claims, wondering if such a mass murder actually happened and, if so, whether the Army’s policies caused it to happen. Browne hints this could be his last case: “If I can help create a discussion about the war, that would be a great way for me to go out.” RICK ANDERSON 108 S. Washington St., 388-0777, jhblawyer.com

Best Motivational Speaker/ Life Coach

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Best Bus Route

Want to travel the breadth of the city for $2.25? ROuTE 48 goes everywhere that most people don’t really need to go. Other than old Metro Conference high-school rivals (Blanchet, Roosevelt, Garfield, Franklin) without a carpool or skateboard, we’re not sure where the commuter demand is for a bus that gets its passengers from Loyal Heights to Mount Baker by way of the University and Central Districts (but not downtown). But that’s what makes the 48 special: It’s a cultural hodgepodge on wheels, rolling slowly through a random assortment of very different neighborhoods without regard for convenience or speed limits which exceed 30. At a time when Metro’s cutting and consolidating routes, that the 48 carries on uninterrupted is as charming as an abandoned fleet of vintage streetcars. MIKE SEELy

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Best Bus Driver

If you ride the #2 bus—looping endlessly from the shores of Lake Washington to the top of Queen Anne Hill—you’ve seen him. He’s talked to you, greeted you, even thanked you for riding. He’s been driving for King County Metro since the mid-’80s, but that’s not what makes him special. He treats his passengers like an extended—if occasionally dysfunctional—family, with warmth, consideration, and respect, and they respond in kind. Too often, public transit can be a hostile, even threatening, environment, but nobody makes trouble for him—or each other—when he’s driving. His name is EVERETT MINARd, but if you know him by name, it’s “Laury,” short for Lawrence, his middle name. He turned 86 in May, and he’s not just Metro’s best driver: He’s also its oldest. Ten hours a day, five days a week, he drives a 40-foot-long trolley coach on overhead wires better than most drivers one-third his age, having passed a battery of medical and driving tests over the past quarter-century. He talks softly, going back three decades: Nearing 60, he was looking to do something new, and one of his sons drove for Metro. Occasionally he’d ride along. “I thought, ‘This would be a good job.’ ” Twenty-seven years later, it still is. Waiting for a light to turn on Third, pale blue eyes sparkling under his ever-present cap, he reflects on a life well lived: born in West Seattle “at Seattle General Hospital—it’s not there anymore,” raised in Magnolia, graduated from Queen Anne High School, then off to the Navy—after all, there was still a war on. He married a girl he met in first grade

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Always compete. On the football field. In life. Even at the dentist’s office or Department of Licensing. That’s what PETE CARROLL would tell you, anyway, if the amped-up 60-something Seahawks coach was to string run-on sentences into your ear. He’s written at least one book on the subject (the appropriately titled Win Forever), and it seems to be the mantra for everything he does. It’s contagious! Which is exactly why Pete Carroll is pretty much the best motivational speaker/life coach in the history of the world. Or at least he would be, if he didn’t spend most of his time wearing pleated khakis and leading Seattle’s professional football team. MATT DRISCOLL

a B&B, you opt for both connection (with hosts and other guests) and escape (from your everyday). And since you live in Seattle, there’s a 68 percent chance that, deep down, you’re an eco-hippie who’d really enjoy a weekend filled with mellow tunes and disc golf on the rural banks of the Columbia. Sister, you’re in luck: The Inn at Lucky Mud features a bucolic disc-golf course and is run by a visually impaired, folk-singing permaculturist named Sunrise. You’ll be down on his farm, with his family, awash in his vibes. You’ll forget there’s such a thing as a city. MIKE SEELy

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(her name is Nancy; they just celebrated their 64th anniversary) . . . the decades unfold as the pavement rolls by. Kind, decent, and unfailingly polite, he’s the grandfather you used to have—or the one you always wanted. MICHAEL MAHONEY metro.kingcounty.gov

Best Casino

When Eddie Money comes to town, where does he play? When Rick Springfield drags those sad eyes of his to the Northwest, where does he plug in? When my aunt Jeanie wants to suck down a pack and a half of Marlboro menthol 100s and blow a Social Security paycheck playing that Blues Brothers slot machine she loves so much, where does she head? The answer, my friends, is the EMERALD QUEEN CASINO. Sure, as Northwest gaming has grown and proliferated, there may be fancier casinos, bigger casinos, grander casinos, casinos where my aunt Jeanie doesn’t go—but the EQC (with locations in Tacoma and Fife) has heart. (And Blue Öyster Cult—coming soon!) MATT DRISCOLL 5700 Pacific Highway E., Fife, 253-922-

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Best Cemetery

How great is the cemetery at the summit of Queen Anne Hill? Well, Asa Mercer, William Bell (of Denny Party fame), and Washington Governor John McGraw haven’t budged since they arrived at MOUNt PLEASANt more than a century ago. The cemetery dates back to an era when funeral grounds were premier public spaces, a notion evident in the rolling, tree-lined paths and city views. Since many saplings were planted for the cemetery’s opening back in 1895, Mount Pleasant now boasts a diverse collection of mature trees unparalleled throughout the Pacific Northwest. HANNA RASKIN 700 W. Raye St., 282-1270, mtpleasantcemeteryseattle.com

Best Cheap Thrill

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Best Kid’s Thrill

In the plaza north of CenturyLink Field, before each Sounders home game, is set up what I for lack of a better term call the “INfLAtE-A-PItCh”: a roughly 15-by40-foot inflatable pen (basically a swimming pool with no bottom) into which kids are let, six at a time, for energetic three-minute matches—or bouts—of soccer. They range in

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Best Hotel

Two things make for a pleasurable hotel experience: a great basement bar and ghosts. thE hOtEL SEAttLE has both. Well, allegedly. It’s definitely got the great basement bar, Bernard’s, which teems with lawyers and judges and bureaucrats who need a safe place to drunkenly hatch a devious plan without fear of it ending up on the public record. As for the ghosts, a Pioneer Square bartender who once manned the check-in desk says that they most definitely outnumber living guests. If you hear a bedboard slamming against a neighboring wall, that’s not a Frank Russell exec and his mistress bumping uglies, it’s two ghosts from the 1940s, back when Washington Mutual was a thriving thrift. There’s also reportedly a mysterious ballroom only danced in by ghosts. This place must have been really regal back in the day, considering how loyal its clientele— again, mostly ghosts—have remained over the years. MIKE SEELY 315 Seneca St., 800-426-2439,

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Best-Kept Secret

It’s tucked away, carved into a residential area on the southeast slope of Queen Anne Hill—a place you generally wouldn’t go unless you lived there. It’s a pristine patch of green, with a panoramic sweep of downtown, Lake Union, and the west side of Capitol Hill, and a view to the north on blue-sky days that goes all the way to Mount Baker. But what sets BhY KRACKE PARK apart—it’s named for Werner “Bhy” Kracke, who lived above the property for many years and came up with the idea to turn it into green space (he died before he could see his dream fulfilled)—and makes it the perfect urban pocket park is its verticality. Pass the bright flowers and descend a narrow, sinuous path that snakes through the trees and bushes, splitting halfway down to the bottom, where the payoff is a covered picnic space with a single table and a small playground. You can—and should—take the bus there: Catch a 2 or 13 up the hill and get off at Highland Avenue. Don’t go west to Kerry Park; head straight to the east, bearing left, right, and left past Third Avenue North onto Bigelow, then follow the street’s curve around to Comstock Place and the city’s most spectacular dead end. MICHAEL MAHONEY seattle.gov/parks/park_

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Best Mile of Seattle

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Have you been to the theater lately? No? Could that be because it’s so darn expensive? The savvy among you know that most theaters offer rush tickets that’ll cut your price in half. But if you’re a teenager—or know a teenager—an even better deal is at your disposal. The Seattle Center runs something called tEEN tIX. A teen signs up, gets a pass, and uses it to buy $5 tickets at an incredible array of arts institutions in town, among them most theaters, the Seattle Art Museum, Seattle Opera, Pacific Northwest Ballet, EMP, and Pacific Science Center. When you consider that most theater and opera tickets are at least $40–$50, you’ll know what a screaming deal this is. Better yet, on Sundays, teens get to take someone else–of any age—for $5 as well. NINA SHApIRO

age from preteens who have obviously been playing a while to indefatigable post-toddlers not even half as tall (but just as badass), running around at random like volatile gas molecules, giving it their full three. Parents stand outside recording it all on their smartphones, but with an admirable minimum of buttinsky coaching. One lesson these kids could teach the pros: There’s no flopping. GAvIN BORCHERT

best of seattle 2012

People & Places

finest restaurants (The Walrus and the Carpenter, Staple and Fancy, and Carta de Oaxaca, to name just three), coolest music venues (the Tractor and the Sunset, among others), and enough bars and taverns to drown a thirsty sailor. Shops and boutiques sell all manner of goods, and the Sunday farmers market supplies the finest fruits, vegetables, meats, and more. Ballard might be a bit isolated from the rest of the city, but once you’re there, there’s really no reason to leave. KEEGAN HAMILTON

Best Neighborhood to Live In

A dozen years ago, when Deputy Mayor Darryl Smith was a South End realtor, he hyped COLUMBIA CITY as a sophisticated enclave for diversity lovers. The spin was more aspiration than reality at that point. The business district had a couple of good cafes and a charmingly antiquated tearoom, but that was about it. Today, Smith’s aspiration is literal fact. Columbia City is the destination point for the entire South End, home to great eateries, one of the city’s best bakeries, a happening music club, a bookstore, clothing shops, an art gallery, and more. White yuppies have moved in, for sure, but the area still boasts what for Seattle is an unparalleled diversity. The Columbia City environs also boast a familyfriendly feel, closeness to magnificent Seward Park, and hidden pockets of relatively affordable housing. NINA SHApIrO

Best Neighborhood You Can’t Live In

It’s got plenty of places to work, a great joint for muffins (Macrina), a passable room for music (Showbox SoDo), one of the best bars to have a drink (Hooverville), and more hotdog vendors than Capitol Hill any day of the week (you know the strip). So why can’t SODO hustle up some condos already? A few artists and derelicts in the know have turned many of the neighborhood’s older haunts into homes on the sly, and for that we applaud them. But seriously, the rest of us want in! CHrIS KOrNELIS

Best Place to Eavesdrop

Seattleites tend to take the city’s quirks for granted. When you’ve lived here long enough, 100 consecutive days of drizzle is ho-hum, the original Starbucks is just another nondescript corporate coffeeshop, and the fishmongers in PIKE PLACE MARKET are—well, those guys are still pretty kick-ass. Tourists, on the other hand, tend to pick up on the things to which we’ve grown accustomed. Wander through the Market on a busy day and you’ll overhear kids geeking out about the Gum Wall, amateur photogs gushing about the beauty of Elliott Bay, and bemused East Coasters snickering about local guys’ beard/hoodie/ horn-rimmed-glasses fashion sense. You’ll also encounter some utterly brainless remarks, like the one from the woman who

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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waits in line for an hour to order a latte from Starbucks, then swears it’s the best she’s ever had. (In these instances, keep an ear out for Pike Place employees muttering sarcastic retorts under their breath.) Either way, tourists are good for a laughably asinine observation or a fresh outsider’s perspective that reminds you why this city is so great. KEEGAN HAMILTON 85 Pike St., 682-7453,

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Best Place to People-Watch

While she was superintendent of Seattle Public Schools, Maria Goodloe-Johnson could be spotted with her clan at a picnic in SEWARD PARK. A frequenter of the park might also see Seattle City Council member Bruce Harrell jogging or New York Times scribe Tim Egan riding his bike. Conan O’Brien, who married a Seattle native, was also there some years ago, messing around with his kids on the playground. With its wonderful 2.4-mile path lining Lake Washington, stunning views of Mount Rainier, and trails through old growth, the park is a big draw for city notables. But it’s an equally big draw for ordinary Seattleites of all stripes: Orthodox Jews wearing yarmulkes, Somalis in hijabs, Vietnamese fishermen, Russian immigrants in high heels, white bikers in Spandex, and power-walking African Americans. In short, Seward Park is the kind of melting pot Seattle has too little of, and it’s it’s fun to watch. NINA SHApIrO

Best Place to Meet Single Women

When LEMAY—AMERICA’S CAR MUSEUM made its ambitious debut in Tacoma earlier this year, it was clear whom the facility’s forefathers had in mind when they built the place: women. When it’s girls’ day out, nothing screams “Fun!” like a massive, futuristic silver warehouse crammed with meticulously maintained classic cars. It really cuts to the core of the American female experience to witness these fourwheeled works of art parked alongside one’s sisters—topped only, perhaps, by a visit to Les Schwab’s grave. Sitting on hoods, comparing chassis sizes, lamenting the dawn of the catalytic converter—two words: super wet. And, dudes, much as we know how much you’d rather spend the day at Pottery Barn finding that perfect scented candle for the mud room, you’d be a fool not to get down to Tacoma to show these hot-roddin’ hotties your feminine side. MIKE SEELy 2702 E. D St., Tacoma, 877-9028490, lemaymuseum.org

Best Place to Meet Single Men

Hunting down a one-night stand on a Saturday night has long been rumored to be the exclusive territory of men. What a crock: Sometimes a gal just wants to get fucked six ways (or for six hours) till Sunday, bid her slice of man-candy adieu with a fake phone number, and never see him again. So where the horny dudes at? DREAMgIRLS AT RICK’S. After weathering the Colacurcios’

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downfall, a purchase by the Déjà Vu chain, and a fiendishly hilarious fire which postponed its reopening, Lake City’s favorite strip club is back. And while there’s a chance the highest roller may coax Chastity Blue and her quadruple-D tits back to his lair at night’s end, most Rick’s patrons are going to be sitting around with raging hard-ons whose likeliest relief will come in the form of Vaseline and their own right hand. Your vagina (or mouth) could replace that hand, ladies. Get to Rick’s, and get it on. Mike Seely 11332 Lake City Way N.E., 971-8916

Best Place for a First Date

For all its popularity, dinner-and-a-movie makes a terrible first date. The movie really messes things up, since you’re stuck sitting in silence for two hours or more. Art—especially the incredible collection at the SEATTLE ART MUSEUM—is the perfect alternative. Even if you (wisely) majored in something other than art history, endless conversation is to be had there. Whether you’re cracking jokes about a phallic sculpture, showing off your sensitive side by weeping over some impressionist water lilies, or sheepishly confessing that you prefer Bob Ross to Basquiat, chances are good you’ll get to know your date and make a strong first impression. And if things go really well, a room at the Four Seasons is waiting just across the street. keeGAN HAMilTON 1300 First Ave., 654-3210, seattleartmuseum.org

Best Place for a Last Date

Let’s say you don’t want to have kids and your boyfriend does. It might seem counterintuitive, but take him to ChUCk E. ChEESE’S. It’s total chaos, featuring kids and parents at their most unhinged and annoying. A visit to Chuck E. Cheese’s will destroy your confidence in the human race, scuttle any thoughts of procreating, and make the idea of a committed relationship which one day results in acquiescing to your child’s demand to take a bunch of friends to Chuck E. Cheese’s utterly deplorable. You’ll want to go fuck around with consenting adults, far away from singing, mechanized rats and the person you brought there to stealthily dump. Mike Seely Multiple suburban locations,

chuckecheese.com

Best Place to Take Out-of-Town Guests

I can personally vouch that this day trip works for both moms and friends visiting from France: Head west on I-90 through the conifer-covered Cascades. At Ellensburg, turn south on 82 toward Yakima; 20 miles later, take a right on 97 and continue south, where the immense rolling yellow hills you wind among will feel like a different planet. (If in season, stop at a roadside stand for dollar-a-pound cherries.) Spend an hour or two at the highly improbable MARyhiLL MUSEUM, once the mansion, imperiously

overlooking the Columbia, of utilities magnate Samuel Hill, and enjoy its collection of Northwest art and (of all things) memorabilia donated by Hill’s friend Queen Marie of Romania. (Hill also built, just a few minutes away, a concrete replica of Stonehenge, one of America’s great roadside follies.) Take Highway 14 (or, on the Oregon side, I-84) back west to Portland, and be awed by the purple-mountain majesty of the Columbia River Gorge. Dinner in Portland, and maybe a spell at Powell’s Books, will make for a full day before you head back up I-5. GAviN BOrcHerT 35 Maryhill Museum Dr., Golden-

dale, 509-773-3733, maryhillmuseum.org

Best Restroom

There’s nothing special about the sink or toilet at MARjoRiE, but those aren’t the fixtures which draw diners into this cultfavorite bathroom anyhow. It’s the bathroom record player that is so beloved, the Capitol Hill restaurant regularly issues blog updates on its status when it’s removed for repair. The prospect of an actual intermezzo (as opposed to the sorbets that typically merit the name in upscale restaurants) poses all manner of possibilities: Will you spin Sinatra before returning to your table for a break-up speech? Or fire up a cha-cha before suggesting a nightcap at your apartment? Marjorie stocks albums for every dinner occasion. HANNA rASkiN 1412 E. Union St., 441-9842,

marjorierestaurant.com

Best Stroll

Highway 99, we all know, cuts off the wATERfRonT from the rest of downtown, and admittedly getting down there from Pike Place Market can seem like you’re wandering through a Habitrail designed by M.C. Escher. But take an easy access point from the Harbor Steps or Spring or Madison Streets; duck under the viaduct; walk north up Alaskan Way, ideally when there’s a cruise ship in port looming overhead like a second skyline, as the gulls caw and Elliott Bay sparkles; and continue into Olympic Sculpture Park and Myrtle Edwards Park on the quiet, winding strand. You’ve just passed commerce, history, tourism, art, and nature both green and blue: everything Seattle is, in 20 leisurely minutes. GAviN BOrcHerT

Best Suburb

How does one rate suburbs? By number of strip malls? Ease of freeway access? Proximity of Olive Gardens? It’s tough to gauge. What isn’t tough to gauge is how the Sounder fills and empties each day; based purely on ridership, Monday through Friday during peak commuting hours, kEnT is where it’s at. I know, right? Sure, a few straggle on and off the train in Auburn, as in Puyallup and Sumner. But the Sounder swarm—the suburbanites who come to work each day in the city, Orca cards in hand—are coming and going predominantly from Kent. My suspicion is it has something to do with the

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best of seattle 2012

People & Places

quality of life. Or the number of Wendy’s. MATT DRISCOLL ci.kent.wa.us

Best Thing to Do on the Sounder Other Than Check Facebook on Your Phone

At first people try to fight it. Making the daily trip to Seattle via the Sounder, most respectable commuters initially try to avoid SLEEPING. They mistakenly think nodding off in front of complete strangers, mouth agape and head lifelessly bobbing up and down with every bounce on the track, is embarrassing. Or will make them lame. Or something. How wrong these newbies are. After a few months they give in, and soon they realize there’s absolutely no shame in it. Respected businessmen do it. Hardworking nine-to-fivers do it. Almost everyone does it. Or, that is, every-

one who’s not checking Facebook on their phone. It’s pretty much the best way one could possibly spend a commuter-train trip through Tukwila, Kent, Auburn, Sumner, and Puyallup. Go ahead, close your eyes. You’re not missing anything. MATT DRISCOLL soundtransit.org

Best View of Downtown

Though it often disguises itself, a picture of downtown Seattle isn’t complete without Mount Rainier. On the rare day when all the distinguishing features of our skyline come into focus—from the Space Needle, Elliott Bay, and our working port to Bainbridge Island and, of course, the shimmering Rainier—if you have a sandwich and a hour to kill, nothing beats taking in the view at KERRY PARK near the top of Queen Anne Hill, where the Emerald City unfurls in a postcard-

perfect panorama. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT seattle.gov/parks

Best View of Someplace Other Than Downtown

There is no more aptly named road in the city than SuNSEt AvENuE in West Seattle’s Admiral District. Aside from peekaboo views of Queen Anne and downtown as it bends toward California Avenue, Sunset mostly faces west, high over the sound, allowing passersby to take in the islands, mountains, and peninsulas beyond. And, of course, sunsets—on days when you can actually see the sun. It is the perfect street to remind Seattleites that weathering gray and drizzly days is ultimately worth it. MIkE SEELY

Best View, Indoors

Up on the 10th floor, around the corner to the

left as you step off the elevator, the SEAttLE cENtRAL LIbRARY’S AtRIum outLooK comes to a dead end, jutting out over . . . nothing, except a lot of space. One small leap over the railing and you could splat right onto New Fiction down on 3. (That belly-high gridded railing feels sturdy to the touch, but looks kind of like a chain-link fence made out of aluminum foil.) Surrounding you is the crosshatching of baby-blue girders that form the building’s exoskeleton; overhead is a padded (why?) white ceiling. Backing away, you’re startled by the yawning elevator shaft; all that separates you from a plunge is a glass wall that may as well not even be there for all the feeling of security it gives. But the best part of the Outlook is that there’s no reason for it to be there—it’s just a playful fillip in Rem Koolhaas’ design. GAvIN BORChERT 1000 Fourth Ave., 386-4636, spl.org

BEST SEXY SHOP IN SEATTLE!

WHAT WOULD A BEST OF SEATTLE

edition be without talking about the best sexy shop in Seattle. Consistently when we think sexy stores we always end up at The Love Zone in Seattle’s Ballard / Crown hill neighborhood. Why you ask The Love Zone, well they have everything we want and need plus a couple of things we didn’t know we wanted or needed. They aren’t uptight or creepy and the place is just plain fun. They actually have everything you need to make good sex - great sex. So here is the list in no apparent order that makes Love Zone Seattle’s Best of Sexy Stores. We like their wide assortment of lubes, you are sure to ﬁnd your brand or one you like, of course they carry plenty of edible fun stuff to make your partner super tasty. We also like that they carry enough DvDs that we can always ﬁnd one we like, but it’s not a “video store”.

Of course they have the mandatory massage oils & Kama Sutra stuff. Probably the biggest deal is their fantastic toy selection with a bunch of styles of vibrators for solo or couple’s play, a great assortment of penis rings from vibrating to fetish, all the sizes of plugs, and beads you could want. Plenty of strap-ons, and boy toys. A very reasonable assortment of fetish playthings, ok so it is not a dungeon full, but enough to keep most people busy thru the night. Did we mention the one thing we like the most they actually carry lingerie & sexy clothes in our sizes from small to 3X, and styles that work for a real person not just a lingerie model. Sure Seattle has plenty of sexy places but of them all we think Love Zone is the Best of Sexy stores in Seattle. I’m sure that if you stopped in today, you would have a sexier night, tonight.

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Tula’s? NONSEQUITUR can give it a home. Founded in 1989 in New Mexico as a record label and performance space by Evergreen alums Jonathan Scheuer and Steve Peters, the organization signed a long-term lease in 2007 (after Peters relocated here) with the Chapel Performance Space at the Good Shepherd Center in Wallingford, turning it practically overnight into Seattle’s avant-music epicenter. Nonsequitur produces all kinds of sound-art performances—by, so far, well over 200 artists both local and international—at stunningly non-usurious terms that actually allow artists to make some money. It’s hosted both traditional concerts and events like the memorable multimedia-collage realization of Gavin Bryars’ The Sinking of the Titanic, to mark the centennial this past spring, and provides an umbrella for groups like Earshot Jazz and the Seattle Composers Salon. Nonsequitur is to the local scene kind of what the World’s Fair is to the city at large: Many now think of our history in terms of before and after. That’s how big an impact it’s made.

)

GAVIN BORCHERT nseq.blogspot.com

Best Actress

The song “Whatever Lola Wants” from Damn Yankees has become American pop culture’s iconic femme-fatale number, and CHRYSSIE WHITEHEAD’s performance as Lola, the devil’s henchbabe, in the 5th Avenue Theatre’s April production was enough to put all thoughts of Sofia Vergara and Diet Pepsi commercials out of the audience’s head. With a Vargas-girl body that seemingly could move in six directions at once, an elegantly ludicrous comic flair, and crackling chemistry with Christopher Charles Wood as Joe, her would-be seductee, Whitehead continued the 5th’s tradition of knowing exactly how to cast period pieces like this— potentially musty in any other company’s hands—for maximum zing. GAVIN BORCHERT 1308 Fifth Ave., 5thavenue.org

Best Actor

MARGARET FRIEDMAN Seattle Center,

staff picks

Best Arts Newcomer

New Seattle Symphony music director LUDOVIC MORLOT has turned out to be just what everyone was hoping for to take the organization beyond the Gerard Schwarz era, bringing a boyish, energetic podium manner, a sprucing-up of the orchestra’s sound, and forward-looking, buzzworthy programming. In his debut season, music by composers as diverse as Beethoven, Gershwin, and Varèse combusted under his direction, and his vision for next season—a 10 p.m. new-music concert

series, a few premieres, and big-event pieces by Messiaen and Britten—makes it the most mouthwatering in memory. GAVIN BORCHERT Benaroya Hall, Third Avenue and Union Street, seattlesymphony.org

Best Arts Innovation

It wasn’t cheap to beam a live opera into KeyArena, project it onto a 50-by-80-foot screen, and then invite in more than 5,000 viewers for free, so SEATTLE OPERA’S SIMULCAST of Madama Butterfly on May

5 was a brilliant success— funded by a one-time grant—that won’t likely be repeated, especially given the company’s recent retrenchment. Still, it was hugely enjoyable, and I dream of them doing it at least once a year—in a smaller venue, maybe? Or even outdoors? GAVIN BORCHERT seattleopera.org

Best Arts Nonprofit

Staff Picks

Does your electronic music have not enough beat for a dance club? Is your jazz too free for

seattlerep.org

Best Theater Production

A few weeks after seeing Seattle Rep’s crackerjack production of Pulitzer winner CLYBOURNE PARK, I saw it on Broadway (where it has since won the Tony). The Rep’s version was superior in every aspect. Director Braden Abraham’s dramatic choices felt more unified and consequential. Scott Bradley’s quaint unit set underwent the equivalent of a witness-protection makeover for the second act, while the New York set merely gained some graffiti; and person for person, the entire cast outperformed their Big Apple

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

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Red is not a very good play (despite sweeping up awards), and Seattle Rep’s production could easily have made for a tedious evening of theater (guru artist mentors bright newbie with sanctimonious treatises) if not for DENIS ARNDT’s skillful transfusion of the rigor of acting to the rigor of painting. Somehow he trained his body to communicate primally with the materials, and only secondarily with his employee (played by Connor Toms). Even while pontificating with his mouth, the shadow of his finger could be seen behind the stretched canvas, testing the tautness, preparing a better visual argument than all that blather could.

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best of seattle 2012

Arts & Entertainment

counterparts. Sometimes the grass really is greener here. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Seattle Center, seattlerep.org

Best Play

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The butt of more jokes than perhaps any other Shakespeare play (partly, no doubt, because of the anatomically suggestive name), CORIOLANUS, especially as mined by Seattle Shakespeare last winter, is a surprisingly rich thematic stew. The depersonalization and estrangement of warriors, the hypocrisies of politicians, the poignancy and vulgarity of the rabble, and traitorous rapprochement with the enemy jam the tale with jeopardy and feeling. Though side characters seem one-dimensional, the death grip that outsized mother figure Volumnia (Therese Diekhans) exercises on her eponymous son feels as epic as Lady Macbeth’s on her husband. MARGARET FRIEDMAN seattleshakespeare.org

Best Theater Surprise

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

The 5th Avenue Theater is a great place to see classic musicals. Its rendition of Guys and Dolls last year was a joyous reminder of why the 1950s musicals are among the best of all time. Yet the theater’s repertoire can also seem stale—which is why SAVING AIMEE was a blast of fresh air. Snobs may deride the connection with TV personality Kathie Lee Gifford, who wrote the book and lyrics. Don’t listen to them. Saving Aimee offers a refreshingly original story and a strong female character who also happens to be a fascinating historical figure: onetime celebrity evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson. She was played with verve by Carolee Carmello in the 5th Avenue’s fall production. “Have you got a dream?” Carmello asked as McPherson, her rousing voice filling the theater. Our dream is that Saving Aimee gets more productions.

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his heart for the religious right and corporate bankers. Since leaving the P-I in December after 32 years, Horsey, now 60, feels reinvigorated by his new combo cartoon/commentary Times column called “Top of the Ticket.” “I’m excited,” he says. “It’s a good feeling to have again.” Good for political junkies, too. RICK ANDERSoN latimes.com/news/politics/

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Best Museum

Prospectors were a notoriously rowdy bunch, leaving broken hearts and broken bottles in their wake. But they also left behind great cities, which likely wouldn’t have coalesced without the cash they were willing to spend on snow goggles, snowshoes, and whatever else scam artists could persuade them to buy. Seattle was a tremendous beneficiary of the gold craze, a story told in compelling and succinct fashion at the National Park Service’s KlonDiKe GolD RuSh nAtionAl hiStoRicAl PARK, a two-story museum complete with a fake log cabin. hANNA RASKIN 319 Second Ave. S., 220-4240, nps.gov/klse

Best Museum Exhibit

Visitors have always flocked to the International District for food. But the Wing Luke Museum of the Asian Pacific American Experience last year invited tourists to experience something different: food scholarship. The museum bravely took on the huge topic of local Asian-Pacific-American foodways with “FRom FielDS to FAmily,” delving into Filipino farm labor, Seattle’s Chinese restaurants, yearly rituals observed by Japanese-Americans, and Marination Mobile’s menu. The exhibit was highly informative and—more important—fun: Children weren’t the only ones drawn to interactive stations featuring fabric spring rolls and chopstick dexterity tests. hANNA

NINA ShApIRo 1308 Fifth Ave., 5thavenue.org

RASKIN 719 S. King St., 623-5124, wingluke.org

Best Local Artist

Best Addition to South Lake Union

With her vibrant watercolors, StAcey Rozich brings a unique vision of creaturely folklore into vivid detail. Drawing from myth, pop culture, and her own Croatian heritage, Rozich pulls viewers into a world part Maurice Sendak, part Hunter S. Thompson—a world where mischievous creatures in Eastern European folk attire and ritual masks get high to Fleetwood Mac. Her work is as magnetic to bands like Fleet Foxes, for whom she helped illustrate the video for “The Shrine/ An Argument,” as to Cornish College of the Arts, who awarded her their 2011 Neddy and a $25,000 grant to go along with it. GWENDoLYN ELLIoTT staceyrozich.com

Best Cartoonist

DAViD hoRSey’s got it so good it’s almost wretched excess to honor him further. But, in the broadest sense of the term “artist,” the two-time Pulitzer-winning newspaper cartoonist is Seattle’s, and one of the nation’s, best illustrators of politics and life through his drawings and commentary in the Los Angeles Times. Operating from his home base in Seattle, he riles and delights Times readers with his liberal political views and pro-Obama ’toons, reserving a dark place in

Feel free to wave a bright-orange hanky in the direction of the now-departed Hooters, and see it as a sign that South Lake Union— SLUT jokes and all—is growing up. There’s no more appropriate symbol of the new SLU than the impending arrival (December 29, to be exact) of the muSeum oF hiStoRy AnD inDuStRy, relocated after 60 years in Montlake, where it was driven out by the 520 bridge expansion. Our city’s most underrated museum, MOHAI does more to tell you about the real Seattle—not just the businessmen and innovators, but the working men and women who helped give our city its unique identity and built the foundation for our modern prosperity. The new MOHAI, open, spacious, and filled with light, will be located in the renovated Naval Reserve Building in Lake Union Park, a WPA-built Art Deco/Moderne landmark completed 70 years ago. At 50,000 square feet, nearly 10,000 more than MOHAI’s previous home, there’s a lot more room for a selection from a diverse collection of nearly four million artifacts, archived items, and photographs dating back to the late 19th

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best of seattle 2012

Arts & Entertainment

century. A four-story grand atrium will display old favorites like the 1919 Boeing B-1 flying boat, the Slo-Mo-Shun IV unlimited hydroplane which won the 1950 Gold Cup, Lincoln Towing’s iconic pink Toe Truck—and someday the P-I globe. MICHAEL MAHONEY historyismoving.org

Best Art Gallery

So many galleries host First Thursdays with Two-Buck Chuck and shutter their doors at the stroke of 9. But VERMILLION, Capitol Hill’s gallery/pub, encourages arts appreciation during each of its operating hours, and offers reasonably priced wine, beer, specialty drinks, and cafe fare to enjoy along with the exhibits. Bringing art to the public via a bar might make some aesthetes turn up their noses, but Vermillion’s snob-free zone, respectable show history, and double-duty space brings much texture to the scene. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT 1508 11th Ave., 709-9797,

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Best New Art Gallery

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It takes some guts (and a deep pocketbook) to open a gallery on non-trendy Second Avenue, well north of Pioneer Square, where so many galleries have shuttered since the recession hit. But that’s what Franco-African transplant Mariane Lenhardt did this spring with M.I.a GaLLERy. A proud, sophisticated Parisian, she’s not interested in African miserabilism. From the Third World and other overlooked corners of the art world, the artists she wants to showcase aren’t bogged down in theory or chasing this month’s trends. Seattle has enough narrow, regional hipster galleries. And if Lenhardt’s ambition should outgrow her present small space on Second, there are plenty of vacancies in Pioneer Square. brIAN MILLEr 1203-A Second Ave., 467-4927, m-i-a-gallery.com

Best Gallery Exhibit

Again, the honors go to M.I.a GaLLERy for its inaugural spring show, post-colonial photography from the Malian studio of Malick Sidibé. A veteran photographer better known in France than here, he apprenticed in Bamako, the capital of Mali, just as colonial rule was coming to an end. Once he could afford a camera, he went freelance, soon becoming Bamako’s top party and studio photographer of the ’60s and ’70s. It was a giddy, heady time—the French were leaving, rock and roll was being discovered on LPs and transistor radios, and men and women were allowed to mingle at dances, where the girls wore miniskirts and the guys sharp suits and ties. Leave it to Western photojournalists to cover the famines and orphans. This is African photography for Africans—and it’s the best photo show I’ve seen here this year. brIAN MILLEr 1203-A Second Ave., 467-4927, m-i-a-gallery.com

Best New Building

Never mind that glass artist extraordinaire Dale Chihuly already had one museum to his name in the region: Tacoma’s Museum of Glass, pretty much an ode to everything the eyepatch-clad blower (or director of blowers) has ever stood for (mainly, art that looks

like vases). He needed more. We apparently wanted more. And thus Chihuly Garden and Glass was born, including the exhibition’s centerpiece, the GLaSSHOUSE. Its website says the Glasshouse was inspired by two of Chihuly’s favorite buildings, the SainteChapelle in Paris and the Crystal Palace in London. While it’s safe to assume it’s on a par with neither, the Glasshouse is still pretty cool. MATT DrISCOLL Seattle Center, 753-4940, chihulygardenandglass.com

Best Book by a Local Author

As of this writing, ERIK LaRSON’S In the Garden of Beasts has been at or near the top of The New York Times’ bestseller list for more than four months—an imaginative portrait of Berlin and the Nazi Party’s rise and their effects on William E. Dodd, the U.S. ambassador to Germany in 1933, and his daughter, Martha. The Times called this “novelistic history” book “powerful, poignant,” its narrative an effectively “transportingly true story.” It’s about to go big overseas as well—with 12 foreign publishers buying the rights to the novel—following in the wake of the Seattle author’s previous hit, The Devil in the White City, whose movie rights have been acquired by Leonardo DiCaprio. Larson reports that he just wound up his speaking tour to promote Beasts, where in California he was surprised by an audience member: “The daughter of the Dodds’ landlord in Berlin came to my talk along with her husband, son, and assorted family members. Ruth showed me a couple of photographs of herself and her brother, Hans, when they were children in Berlin in the 1930s, one of those lovely little moments where present touches past and books come alive in unexpected ways.” rICK ANDErSON eriklarsonbooks.com

Best FM Radio Personality

When I started co-hosting a radio show in January, I learned one thing very quickly: It’s much harder than it sounds. The sophisticated chatter churned out by real pros isn’t created simply by opening a bottle of Bombay and a two-liter of tonic and hitting record, but the best of the best make the impossible— speaking with authority on celebrity, politics, and that backup on the 405—make it sound just that easy. Sitting atop the Seattle heap is RaCHEL BELLE, the 97.3 KIRO FM darling who reports by day and contributes the “Ring My Belle” segment to the station’s popular Ron and Don show during happy hour. As a student of our cultures, pop and otherwise, Belle addresses both the day’s Snooki and Sandusky stories with intellect and verve—in other words, smart, not snark. And, lucky for us, she even gives in from time to time and does the same in the pages (or, for this issue, the cover) of Seattle Weekly. (Belle’s comments on karaoke can be found in Reverb Monthly.) CHrIS KOrNELIS facebook.com/ rachelbelle973kiro

Best Reading Series

Taken as a group, Town Hall, Elliott Bay Book Co., University Book Store, and Third Place Books draw far more visiting authors to town, and Seattle is blessed to have such

literary abundance, but seattle arts & lectures brings the heavyweights. This fall’s season will include ever-prolific novelist T.C. Boyle, author and New York Times food writer Mark Bittman, and The New Yorker’s legal-affairs expert Jeffrey Toobin (Oct. 10), who should have a lot to say about both Citizens United and the surprising Obamacare decision in his forthcoming new book, The Oath: The Secret Struggle for the Supreme Court. We can’t wait to hear the dirt on Justice Roberts—or how long Toobin thinks Scalia will live. Because he can’t live forever, right? brian miller 105 S. Main St. #201, 6212230, lectures.org

Best Movie Theater

While Bill Gates spends his Microsoft billions eradicating diseases and improving America’s education system, Paul Allen spends his on professional sports teams, science-fiction memorabilia, and making the finest movie theater money can buy. Allen’s Vulcan Inc. rescued and remodeled tHe cINeraMa in 1999, and, after a second round of renovations in 2010, his investment (or expenditure, depending on your point of view) seems worth every penny. The screen—one of only three in the world still capable of accommodating the old-fashioned triple-projection “Cinerama” format—is roughly as wide as a mega-yacht, the stadium seating steeper than any at CenturyLink Field, and the popcorn and snacks

cheaper than Microsoft stock in the ’80s. The theater hosts midnight showings of all the major blockbusters, and also screens classics that appeal to hard-core movie buffs. Gates might be busy cementing his legacy as the most generous philanthropist in history, but Allen’s eccentric style of giving back deserves similar admiration from Seattle cinephiles. KeeGan HamilTOn 2100 Fourth Avenue, 448-6680, cinerama.com

Best Film Festival (Besides SIFF)

Each fall since 1998, Northwest Film Forum has hosted its local sIgHtINgs fIlM festIval. Unlike SIFF’s global reach and scale, Local Sightings looks as far as Oregon, Montana, and maybe British Columbia for interesting stories and filmmakers. Some of the standout documentaries of recent years have followed a serial killer in eastern Washington, profiled the late local poet Steven Jesse Bernstein (1950–1991), and visited New Orleans with Seattle aid workers after Hurricane Katrina. (And sometimes you get to see early cuts of future SIFF picks, like Linas Phillips’ doc Walking to Werner.) The inward-looking Northwest often seems more conducive to nonfiction filmmakers than to scripted drama, but maybe we’ll find the next Lynn Shelton at this fall’s festival. brian miller 1515 12th Ave., localsightings.org

Best Festival

From Woodstock to Coachella, the problem with music festivals is that, sorry, there’s

too much music. Eventually you need to take a break between bands, especially if they’re playing outside under uncertain Labor Day Weekend skies, and sit down for something more quiet. Therein lies the success of buMbersHoot, which will present its 42nd edition at summer’s end. If you’re seeking a reprieve from the sun (or rain) and the constant crush of people, you can rest inside Intiman to catch alt-comedians (welcome back, Janeane Garofalo!), pace through the Northwest Rooms to enjoy local artists, or peruse the music posters at Flatstock (this year moving into the refurbished Center House). Another problem with some music festivals? Unless Jimmy Buffett is headlining, they can make you feel old. Bumbershoot’s more eclectic talent roster isn’t so exclusionary. A good example this year is filmmaker/raconteur John Waters—an adult who’ll give a grown-up’s perspective on bad movies, deviancy, and the Catholic church. Without loud guitars. brian miller Seattle Center,bumbershoot.org

Best Radio Station

The most frustrating/amazing thing about classic-rock and oldies radio is the way stations condense four decades of music into a list of 50 songs played over and over and over again (raise your hand if you want to hear “Sweet Home Alabama” again). 104.5, a bizarre, nearly commercial-free station operating out of Enumclaw, means it when they say they

play “All songs of the ’60s and ’70s.” You’re just as likely to hear Frank Sinatra as the Beach Boys and KISS. Repeats? Rarely. Surprises? Always. CHriS KOrneliS 1045kmcq.com

Best AM Radio Personality

Full disclosure: I played high-school football for brocK HuarD’s dad, Mike, at Puyallup High School. Brock, of course, following in the steps of his older brother Damon and helping to carve a path for his younger brother Luke, was a standout QB for the Vikings before moving on to the University of Washington and a somewhat unmemorable NFL career. These days, after honing his broadcasting chops in a bevy of small-time gigs (Pop Warner football on ESPN, anyone?), he co-hosts The Brock and Salk Show every morning on 710 ESPN. While you’d expect Huard simply to bring hyperlocal name recognition to the program, the former Husky often outshines his mildly annoying on-air companion. maTT DriSCOll 710Sports.com

Best Newspaper Columnist

I’ve never met Joel coNNellY. I have, however, read his words—in print and now online—for what literally feels like forever. And while I haven’t agreed with everything he’s ever scribbled, it’s hard to deny the voice he’s provided for this region. For the record, Connelly sealed the deal on this award while covering President Obama’s fundraising stop at the Paramount Theater earlier this

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year. All the other press schmucks, myself included, were glued to our smartphones while stuck in the press coop—fidgeting and milling (with shitty reception) like hamsters on speed. Connelly, by contrast, was nearly napping as we waited, nothing more than a rolled-up issue of The New Yorker in his hand. MATT DRISCOLL seattlepi.com/local/connelly

Best Reporter, Newspaper

KEN ARMSTRONG was our pick last year, and he’s back with a co-champ—something that just couldn’t be helped after he and MICHAEL J. BERENS teamed to sweep up so many major awards, including the Selden Ring and the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Investigative Reporting, for their Seattle Times series “Methadone and the Politics of Pain.” (Justin Mayo also contributed.) The three-part series found that state health officials had disregarded repeated warnings about methadone’s unique risks, insisting it was just as safe as any other painkiller. But by analyzing thousands of state death records and other data, the reporters determined that at least 2,173 people died in Washington state between 2003 and 2011 after accidentally overdosing on methadone, which was one of the state’s two preferred painkillers for Medicaid patients and recipients of workers’ compensation. It’s a series that brought about major changes in the way the state uses methadone, and achieved the highest calling of journalism: It flat-out saved lives.

Best Weathercaster

WALTER KELLEY is fun to party with. At least that’s how it looks. Tequila. Jäger. Fireball. Whatever. Walter Kelley don’t care. Here’s a weatherman who’s easy to rally behind. The everyman weatherman. Sure, Steve Pool is a legend, Jeff Renner and Rich Marriott have been around the block, and Rebecca Stevenson could kill a man with her bare hands, but these days Kelley gets the vote as the most exhilarating presence in Seattle-area meteorology. MATT DRISCOLL q13fox.com

Best Hair on Local TV Personality, Male

Q13’s C.R. DOUGLAS asks the tough questions. “Mayor, what’s going on?” Douglas boomed at Mike McGinn during a press conference in the middle of Ian Stawicki’s shooting spree. McGinn, of course, really had no answer . . . for the question or for Douglas’ short-cropped, all-business, Seattle Channelmade-good hairstyle, which has performed well enough over the past year to make him the runaway winner for this prestigious award. Douglas cuts hard-hitting TV journalism high and tight. MATT DRISCOLL q13fox.com

Best Hair on Local TV Personality, Female

Oh, MIMI JUNG. Why can’t all local female TV personalities have your style and grace? More important, why can’t they have your hair? Dazzling, visibly soft; I’m sure your hair even smells good. Wait . . . is this coming off weird? Kind of stalkery? Crap. Talk about awkward. My bad. All I’m trying to say is, while there may be more experienced heads of hair on local TV, Jung’s ’do deserves some props. MATT DRISCOLL KING5.com

RICK ANDERSON seattletimes.nwsource.com/ flatpages/specialreports/methadone/ methadoneandthepoliticsofpain.html

Best Reporter, TV/Radio

Best TV News Anchor

In addition to being a Q13 anchor, DAVID ROSE hosts Washington’s Most Wanted, a venue that allows him to joyously throw the word “alleged” to the winds and relish something he truly seems to love: bringing “bad guys” to justice. But while you can tell Rose loves his gig as a low-rent John Walsh, he’s a professional, and he brings that passion to his newscasts. MATT DRISCOLL q13fox.com

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To give you an idea of what a stellar journalist AUSTIN JENKINS is, consider a story he hustled up last year. Jenkins was thumbing through tort claims from his office in Olympia when he came across the details of a settled lawsuit in which the Washington State Department of Corrections had paid $150 to an inmate. The reporter (shared by a number of public-radio stations, including KUOW and KPLU) went down the rabbit hole and hit the jackpot. Long story short, the inmate had spent $50.38 of his own money buying packets of cream cheese, among other fixings, and made a perfect cheesecake in his cell. An officer found it, accused him of pilfering (knowing he worked in the mess), and confiscated the cheesecake. DOC coughed up, and Jenkins got the story. The best stories of the year don’t come with press releases; it takes seasoned, curious reporters like Jenkins to get the goods. (No, the poor guy never got a bite of his own cheesecake.) CHRIS KORNELIS kuow.org

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Best Bagels

Perhaps the only thing bagels and barbecue have in common is that top-notch versions of both are rare in Seattle. But just as savvy ’cue aficionados know to visit Kau Kau in the International District or Bitterroot in Ballard to get their fill of smoked and/or roasted meats, bagel connoisseurs flock by the dozen (and for the dozen) to THE BAGEL DELI. The basement shop on Capitol Hill has been boiling the finest koshers our fair city has to offer for three decades and counting. It offers a variety of bagel-bookended sandwiches, but the only essential topping for these doughy halos is an ample slathering of housemade cream cheese. Pro tip: Visit during the last halfhour of business and get half-price on orders of six or more. KEEGAN HAMILTON 340 15th Ave. E., 322-2471,

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Best Bakery, Savory

If restaurant bread is good enough to set diners wondering where it was baked, the question doesn’t need to be asked aloud: It came from COLUMBIA CITY BAKERY. The neighborhood bake shop sells a range of pastries and loaves, but it’s the rustic pain de campagne which appears on Seattle’s best restaurant tables, a testament to its depth of flavor and wide crumb, custommade for the finest sauces and salted butters. HANNA RASKIN 4865

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Best Bakery, Sweet

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Or, more specifically, Bakery That Most Reminds Me of the Ones I Grew Up With. PIKE PLACE BAKERY keeps a low profile, even though it’s at the Market’s central crossroads, right where Pike Street bends into Pike Place. Tucked into a corner behind the fish-throwers (ah, that explains it), its glass cases are stuffed with rolls and breads, yes, but mostly old-school sweets: doughnuts, turnovers, danishes, brownies, macaroons, cookies, cannoli, eclairs, cream puffs, baklava, bismarcks, and pershings, most of them filled with custard or jelly. Their philosophy seems to be never to use one topping on a sweet roll when you can use more: cream cheese strawberry, chocolate-chip cream cheese, almond cinnamon caramel. The “Texas” doughnuts are a good eight inches across; the raspberry bear claw literally is the size of an ursine paw. It’s like a few square feet of the Midwest dropped into Seattle—with the accompanying mind-set, which counts pennies thriftily and calories never. One of those lavishly puffy bismarcks is

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Best Barbecue

Getting to know KAU KAU’s Chinese barbecue is like getting to know gin. You start with something mild—like the barbecue pork, maybe touched up with a little hot mustard and a few seeds. But once your palate is refined (and pickled from all the salt), you’ll be heading straight for the roast pork (chunks of bacon, effectively) by the pound, and drenching it in the hottest mustard you’d ever care to meet. The chicken and duck have their place, but at the best barbecue joint in town, the pig reigns supreme. chriS KorneLiS 656 S. King St., 682-4006, kaukaubbq.com

Best Barista

If there’s something of an offbeat vibe to Fremont’s Lighthouse Roasters (and there is), part of that must be attributed to the presence of brother baristas Peter And Jon MAnsen. Peter, the elder, started working at Lighthouse eight years ago; he slings espresso while his rock-star wife Jessica Dobson tours the world as the Shins’ guitarist. (He plays drums for Dobson’s band Deep Sea Diver.) Jon, the younger, started five years ago; he’s almost 7 feet tall and sometimes wears a red cardigan with cat patches for pockets. They rarely work the same shift, possibly because they’ve been known to throw croissants at each other, but they’re both artful connoisseurs of what they like to call the Dick Latte: a delicious coffee topped with a phallic-shaped foam. An elderly woman once called to complain after Peter made her one at a coffee shop in Los Angeles, but Jon one-ups that—he once served the Dick Latte to a delighted Ryan Gosling. And if it’s good enough for Ryan Gosling, it’s good enough for you. erin K. thoMPSon 400 N. 43rd St., 633-4444, lighthouseroasters.com

Best Beer Selection

It’s easy for a place bigger than an airplane hangar to boast a wide beer selection, but it shouldn’t require a manual. You don’t need to know anything about beer to find a favorite at tWo BeLLs, which over the years has introduced me to a number of beers that have become go-to orders. The selection is modest, but the curation is pristine and the rotation constant. It’s a beer-drinkers’ bar for people who just want to have a beer. chriS KorneLiS 2313 Fourth Ave., 441-3050,

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Best Breakfast

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“People who don’t think they need therapy are more screwed-up than we are.” Just a bit of breakfast wisdom from a volubly friendly waitress during a recent visit to CALAMity JAne’s. Despite its name, its decor goes light on the Wild West kitschabilia, preferring to fill the goldenrodyellow walls of the sunny, creaky main room with local art. The back courtyard, a green oasis with a trickling fountain, feels like a different restaurant, but of course they both offer the same sumptuous breakfasts. Highlights: a jumbo-burrito-size seafood omelet stuffed fat with shrimp and crab, and the

“Green Eggs and Ham” scramble, a scrumptious pile of asparagus, mushrooms, avocado, chives, ham, and Sage Derby cheese. Jane’s is one of the main reasons everyone loves Georgetown. Gavin Borchert 5701 Airport Way S., 763-3040, calamityjanes.biz

Best Breakfast for a Hangover

tHe 5 Point—slogan: “Alcoholics serving alcoholics since 1929”—is a great hard-rock dive bar. It’s also a fine old-school diner. And while the bar is required by state law to stop pouring liquor between the hours of 2 and 6 a.m., the diner stays open 24 hours. So if you get shitfaced at the 5 Point, you can simply hop to a table after last call for some preventative hash browns or any number of plates that are way tastier than they need to be. Or if you got shitfaced at the 5 Point and left your jacket there, you can come in the next morning to retrieve it without feeling like a degenerate asshole. Instead, you’ll be a breakfast patron—a repeat customer. And everybody loves regulars, provided they don’t puke in the well. MiKe SeeLY 415 Cedar St., 448-9991, the5pointcafe.com

Best Brewery

Because it’s the only game in the neighborhood (White Center isn’t flooded by breweries just yet), BiG AL’s BreWinG has become something of a clubhouse for south-end hopheads. On Sundays, the community (what people who gathered together were called before Twitter and Facebook) comes together to break bread and share—and argue about—soup. All are welcome (seriously, in the inclusive way the phrase was intended—not in the “all are welcome as long as you believe like me” way it’s usually applied around town). chriS KorneLiS 9832 14th Ave. S.W., 453-4487, bigalbrewing.com

Best Burger

Hajime Sato of Mashiko Sushi managed to make everyone mad when he opened his Georgetown burger shop: American-born eaters demanded their patties without the panko bread-crumb coating, and Japaneseborn eaters wanted rice instead of a bun. Sato refused their requests, rightly maintaining the inherent superiority of the KAtsU BUrGer he devised. The panko crust seals in the juices of the high-quality meat, and the bun makes a Pacific Rim tradition portable. There’s an array of toppings available for the sandwich Sato believes could serve as a Seattle signature, but the most important accoutrements are a green-tea milkshake and nori fries. hanna raSKin 6538 Fourth Ave. S., 762-0752, katsuburger.com

Best Chef

Food & Wine recently bestowed its prestigious “best new chef” title on Madison Park’s Conservatory’s CorMAC MAHoney, who personifies Seattle in ways that surely make New York media types salivate: Mahoney adores local ingredients (spot prawns!); reinterprets desperately trendy Southern dishes for a Northwest audience (Food & Wine specifically cited his deviled eggs with Dungeness crab); and stays in close touch with his hipster roots, routinely resurrecting Tako

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best of seattle 2012

Food & Drink

Truck dishes in a neighborhood that’s largely food truck–free. For eaters not sold on the narrative, though, there’s the food: Mahoney’s cooking is smart, restrained, and always exquisite. HANNA RASKIN 1927 43rd Ave. E., 324-9701, madisonparkconservatory.com

Best Chain Restaurant

No meal in the history of meals has ever tasted quite as good as a Big Mac, fries, and an Oreo McFlurry at 11:55 p.m. at THE MCDONALD’S AT THE FERRY TERMINAL. It’s been a long—but not too long—night, the boat’s about to leave, and you’re about to stretch out and go comatose. The golden arches never looked so good. CHRIS KORNELIS 801 Alaskan Way, 6220365, mcwashington.com/10441

Best Chinese Restaurant

There’s no kitsch at SZECHUAN CHEF, located in a Bellevue strip mall. The decor is sleek and understated. This restaurant is all about the food—particularly the spices, which come in abundance. Helpfully, each dish is assigned a certain number of peppers to tell you how hot it is. Don’t wimp out, because the best dishes tend to have the most peppers. You could spend a lifetime working your way through the gargantuan menu, with offerings like chili crab, braised whole fish in “supreme sauce,” and cumin lamb, to name just a few. Even those with tamer tastes will find plenty to keep them satisfied. NINA SHApIRO 15015 Main St., Bellevue, 425-746-9008, szechuanchefbellevue.com

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Best Chocolate Shop

Complementary to the White Horse Trading Company snuggled next door (see “Best English Pub,” page 79) in Post Alley, THE CHOCOLATE MARkET seems charmingly in the throes of incurable Anglophilia; you wouldn’t be surprised to see, among the small square windows, weathered beams, and vase-topped wrought-iron tables outside, a sign reading “Purveyors of Confections to Her Majesty Queen Victoria, M. Chuzzlewit, Prop.” Inside, an oversized wooden chair dominates one corner, as if you’d just swigged Alice’s “Drink Me” shrinking potion. On offer are a dozen flavors of fudge, two dozen of truffles, sticks of hard candy in jars, chocolate in fanciful shapes (chocolate pliers, anyone?), coffee drinks, and more. A creamy, walnutstudded cube of maple-nut fudge—generous enough to share, and you’ll both be satisfied— goes for a so-worth-it $3.50. GAvIN BORCHERt 1906 Post Alley, 443-0505

Best Coffeehouse

Every time CHERRY STREET opens a new location (like its new joint on 12th, across from Seattle U), the Ghambari family proves they’ve got the formula down to a science: a comfortable space, tasty snacks, snark-free service, and coffee made right. It sounds simple, but wow, can it be screwed up in the wrong hands. CHRIS KORNELIS 1223 E. Cherry St. and other locations, 454-3592, cherryst.com

Best Decor

Seriously, why doesn’t every restaurant have an Elvis room? There are infinite

possibilities—Hawaii Elvis, Vegas Elvis, Bloated Elvis—and MAMA’S MEXICAN kITCHEN’S ELVIS ROOM rocks them all, dedicating every square inch to the man from Graceland. Nothing gets the night started quite like washing down a quesadilla with a giant margarita while enjoying a good view of the King. CHRIS KORNELIS 2234 Second Ave., 728-6262, mamas.com

Best Deli

If you like meat and you like options, tiny DOT’S DELICATESSEN in upper Fremont is the spot for you. You want your meat in a sandwich? There’s the Reuben with housemade pastrami and tangy sauerkraut. Prefer it with sides? Crispy frites, herbed potato salad and coleslaw, and collard greens sautéed with bacon are all winners. Hankering for something fancy and spreadable? Chicken-liver mousse and a variety of delicate patés are waiting for you in the butcher’s case, as are fresh local eggs, chickens, and sometimes whole rabbits. Digging a dog? Dot’s makes the best sausages in the city—fat links of spicy Italian, bratwurst, andouille, and lamb merguez that you can order for lunch at the counter or take home and cook yourself. ERIN K. tHOMpSON 4262 Fremont Ave. N., 687-7446, dotsdelicatessen.com

Best Dessert

Elbowing through the Pike Place feeding frenzy can dampen the stamina and spirit of even the hardiest Seattleite. Thankfully, THE CONFECTIONAL’S MINICHEESECAkES are able to perk up even the weariest marketgoers. Our pick for the second year in a row, Seattle’s foremost cheesecake experts urge their customers to “confess their love for cheesecake.” (As if they had to encourage us.) With 13 flavors, from the unconventional Kahlua white chocolate to traditional New York–style, The Confectional caters to all dessert aficionados. With thick crusts that taste faintly of graham crackers—made with Maria biscuits from Spain—the snacks are as dense as they are decadent. KELLIE COX 1530 Pike Place & 618 Broadway E., theconfectional.com

Best Dim Sum

Don’t tell the weekend crowds which gather across the street at Jade Garden, but the less-palatial HARbOR CITY is the source of the best in-city dim sum. The carts are sometimes indifferently stocked, and few of the dishes (OK, none of the dishes) will nullify the rationale for traveling to Richmond, B.C. But the basics—including pork buns, shu mai, and chicken feet—are capably executed. HANNA RASKIN 707 S. King St., 621-2228

Best Diner

There are no real surprises on the plate at the 74-year-old CHELAN CAFE, an allAmerican, family-owned diner just off the West Seattle Bridge’s Delridge exit, where Harbor Island’s heavy industry contemplates morphing into the sands of Alki. Pouring country gravy on every imaginable dish seems to be the Chelan’s overarching game plan, and that seems to be fine with the totality of the establishment’s

chicken & SauSage ziti

Italian is more fun at Buca! Delicious, family-style food and all the fun of an Italian gathering. It’s a recipe for good times.

Lynnwood

4301 Alderwood Mall Blvd. 425.744.7272

SeattLe

701 9th Ave. North 206.244.2288

bucadibeppo.com

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Food Trucks k

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

www.HereAndThereGrill.com

Home of the Build-Your-OwnIce Cream-Sandwich

’LL

Find us at SeattleFoodTruck.com JemilsBigEasy.com / Facebook & Twitter

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Custom ice cream cookie sandwiches, dessert platters, catering and wholesale. streettreatswa.com

Gourmet Mexico City Tortas LaBarrigaLlena.com 206-782-1220

“Your Best Choice for Catering and Events”

5825 Airport Way South Seattle, WA 98108 206.307.4769 james@hallavafalafel.com

best of seattle 2012

Food & Drink

robust clientele of blue-collar regulars and beach-bound interlopers. But a greasy spoon’s a greasy spoon, right? There are two reasons why this theory doesn’t hold true at the mouth of the Duwamish. For starters, the Chelan’s crew, uniformly dressed in blue logo T-shirts, is a skilled, vocal, dexterous, and politically incorrect assemblage of self-deprecating veterans and youngsters whose collective floor show tops that of most theater troupes. Furthermore, the Chelan’s layout includes a connected bar, the Ebb Tide Room, open every hour of the day it’s permissible to serve liquor (put another way, it’s only closed 28 hours per week). There’s also a barbershop in the building, in case your hair is too drunk or stuffed to drive home. Far more than just a diner, the Chelan Cafe is a fullservice entertainment mecca, a longshoreman’s salt-rimmed dream. MIKE SEELY 3527 Chelan Ave. S.W., 932-7383

Best Farmers Market

It feels somewhat mean-spirited to choose a best farmers market, since every market connecting farmers with urban dwellers and eaters with fresh food is doing great work. We might as well choose Seattle’s best nun. (Maybe next year.) But, if forced to choose, we’re partial to Columbia City’s, which ranks as one of the city’s most diverse. A bunch of locally grown carrots purchased at the Wednesday-afternoon market is as likely to end up in a chicken afritada as in a Somali goat stew. And this very happy market regularly hosts great produce-centric events, including a spring rhubarb cook-off. HANNA RASKIN 37th Avenue South and South Edmunds Street, 547-2278, seattlefarmersmarket.org

Best Fast Food

Dick’s is fast. Really fast. And for what it is, it’s really good. But boKa, the restaurant/ bar on Hotel 1000’s ground floor, isn’t expected to be fast. And yet, even if every chair is occupied, the kitchen churns out refined, satisfying meals as though you’ve been given a number at a walk-up register. There’s simply no better place for a classy power lunch when you absolutely have to be back at the office in an hour flat. MIKE SEELY

Best Food Truck

When the fooderati first caught on to food trucks, it was the extraordinarily high-caliber versions of idiosyncratic dishes that made their hearts race. But culinary entrepreneurs’ dreams quickly outnumbered creative ideas, so the latest crop of Seattle food trucks is serving crepes, barbecue, and noodles with red sauce. Thank goodness for oFF tHE REZ, which has taken advantage of the format to showcase a cuisine that isn’t available in any local restaurant. The foundation of Off the Rez’s Native American menu is frybread, the savory doughnuts that show up at powwows. The truck turns its inflated pads of bread into tacos and sugar-topped desserts, and a grateful Capitol Hill crowd has turned the snacks into a late-night

Best French Fries

The slender skin-on potatoes at sZmania’s should probably be called French fries fries, since Ludger Szmania insists on frying the hand-cut beauts twice. But the potatoes first spend a night soaking in ice water, which leaches out the starches that might otherwise interfere with the fries’ reaching maximum crispness. The regime works: Szmania’s fries have creamy centers, crisp exteriors, and a lustrous gold finish. HANNA RASKIN 3321 W. McGraw St., 284-7305, szmanias.com

Best Fried Chicken

An ominous sign hangs outside the sHEll station in Georgetown at the corner of Michigan and Corson that reads “fried chicken and jo jos 24 hours a day.” You can imagine what Shell fried chicken served 24/7 would taste like. Actually, no, you can’t. The fried chicken here isn’t just passable, it can hold its own against the Colonel and Ezell’s. Plus they serve it at 2 a.m., something the aforementioned fry legends don’t dare do in the south end. CHRIS KORNELIS 6200 Corson Ave. S.W.

Best Greek Restaurant

There are as many ways to make a meal at PlaKa EstiatoRio as there are Greek gods. There are entrées, such as the rack of lamb with lemon potatoes, with portions large enough to slake even the most Herculean appetite, and sampler platters heaped as high as Mt. Olympus with mouthwatering meat and seafood. But for those seeking a truly transcendent Mediterranean experience, mezedes, or small plates, are the preferred method of feasting. Start with an order of pita bread and a trio of dips (don’t miss the roasted-eggplant purée with tomatoes and onions) while perusing the menu. Then move on to grilled lamb cutlets with quince glaze, grilled prawns, braised octopus, and perhaps a side order of those divine lemon potatoes. Finish with a chunky salad of tomatoes, cucumbers, figs, capers, olives, roasted red peppers, feta, and thinly sliced onions, and wash it all down with a glass of wine from the restaurant’s cellar, stocked so meticulously it would make Dionysus blush. The quality of the food here, unlike all those ancient Greek deities, is not a myth. KEEGAN HAMILTON 5407 20th Ave. N.W., 829-8934, plakaballard.com

Best Grocery Store

If making your way to the farmers market every weekend is too much hassle, shopping at CEntRal Co-oP’s maDison maRKEt is practically the same thing. Sourcing seasonal produce from organic growers; meats, dairy, and seafood from small, regional businesses; and processed goods from value-centered companies, Madison Market makes it easy to keep your lifestyle in line with your ethics—and with weekly specials, discounted member days, and a monthly 10-percent-off coupon for members, you’ll pay less than you would at PCC or Whole Foods. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT 1600 E. Madison St., 329-1545, centralcoop.coop

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

1010 First Ave., 357-9000, bokaseattle.com

sensation. HANNA RASKIN Various locations, offthereztruck.com

best of seattle 2012

Food & Drink

Best Gyro

South Lake Union Ballard Roosevelt

portagebaycafe.com

This summer...

Middle Eastern may not be the first thought that comes to mind when thinking gyro, but at AlAddin FAlAFel Corner, it just makes sense. This gritty Ave restaurant is the perfect cheap eats for a late-night snack—it’s open until 3 a.m. on weekends— but the generous portions make it good for dinner as well. It does offer food other than gyros, but that’s the standout dish. Loaded with your choice of lamb, beef, chicken, or, for vegetarians, falafel, and smothered in tzatziki sauce, the wrapped sandwich has just enough bite. The one downside: Aladdin is cash only. But hey, all the best holein-the-walls are. allison thomasseau 4541 University Way N.E., 548-9539

Best Hot Dog

We’ve all been there: that late night out in Capitol Hill’s Pike/Pine corridor when, after hours of beer and liquor, we sheepishly wolf down a giant, greasy hot dog from a corner cart vendor, a dish colloquially known as “street meat.” Hot dogs don’t have to be shameful, though! Every Friday and Saturday night, dAnTe’S inFerno doGS serves sausages on Ballard Avenue that are much too nice and tasty to deserve such a derogatory tag. (Dante’s also shows up at the U Village, Magnuson Park, and other locations during daylight hours.) The devilish cart’s extras go beyond the standard ketchup and mustard—ask the creamcheese-gun-wielding vendor to top off your dog with celery salt, sweet chili sauce, or banana peppers—and the juicy sausages come in slim, manageable sizes (and vegetarian options like Mexican chipotle and apple sage), so you don’t have to feel like such a fatty for eating them. eRin K. thomPson dantesinfernodogs.com

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Best Ice-Cream Parlor

...eat like you give a damn

It’s about the experience, not just the ice cream. Not that FUll TilT’s is anything other than delicious—and adventurous, with a rotating variety of seasonal, all-natural, locally sourced flavors like the bright-purple Ube (“OOH-bay,” a Filipino yam), Mexican chocolate, horchata, toasted coconut, sweet potato (with marshmallows and pecans), Thai tea, blackberry cinnamon, salty caramel, Memphis King (a tribute to Elvis, with peanut butter, banana, and chocolate-covered bacon), mango chile, and lemon lavender, with several vegan options as well. You can get vanilla, too, but this place is anything but. Full Tilt is much more than just a place to sit and have a cone (preferably a waffle cone— they make their own); it’s a space to socialize, especially if you like to play pinball and/ or vintage video games—or watch people who do—with a punk-rock, DIY aesthetic that’s authentic and genuine, not ironic or forced. It’s been four years since Justin Cline opened the first Full Tilt in White Center, and with the help of business partner Ken Anderson, there are now four locations— with Columbia City, the U District, and Ballard joining the mix. The clincher here is tall, not quite as cold, and comes in a pint glass. Unlike most ice-cream purveyors, Full Tilt has an alcohol license—and knows how

to use it. Ice cream and beer is a very underrated combination. miChael mahoneY fulltilticecream.com

Best Indian Restaurant

That AnnApUrnA CAFe is underground is part of its charm. Nestled in the heart of Capitol Hill, it’s unassuming and easy to overlook, but certainly worth the trip downstairs. Dim lighting and candlelit tables put the focus on the food, which is delectable. Rich and flavorful without being heavy, the curries (coconut is a standout) are the perfect consistency to be sopped up with the airy, fluffy naan. Vegetarian and vegan options are also sure to please even the most avid meat-eaters. allison thomasseau 1833 Broadway, 320-7770,

annapurnacafe.com

Best Italian Restaurant, Cheap

While a fair number of UW students end up at MArCello riSTorAnTe with visiting parents, the room is set for romance. In this economy, fairly priced spaghetti and cheap red wine could put anyone in a lovestruck mood, but the always-darling Marcello ups the ante with music, candlelight, deferential service, and outstanding versions of Italian-American classics, including a robust Bolognese and garlicky seafood pastas. hanna RasKin 7115 Roosevelt Way N.E., 527-4778, marcelloseattle.com

Best Italian Restaurant, Not Cheap

There was a time when eaters who couldn’t afford industrially produced food were stuck with whatever they could grow or catch. Pricing’s since flipped, and it’s the fresh food that commands more money, as demonstrated by the modest splurges on lA MedUSA’s market-driven Sicilian menu. Yet every dish is worth its fee, especially on Wednesday nights in summertime, when the menu functions as a “Here’s what you missed” outline for folks who couldn’t make the neighborhood farmers market. Vegetables are handled with tremendous care, meats are gorgeously grilled, and there’s always Columbia City Bakery bread for sopping up the harmonized sauces. hanna RasKin 4857 Rainier Ave. S., 723-2192, lamedusarestaurant.com

Best Late-Night Dining

The staff at CAFÉ preSSe doesn’t merely tolerate its late-night crowd, they cater to it. Sure, the restaurant serves whiskey and wine all day, but it’s in the nightcap hours after a show that Presse really flexes. Want an omelet at 1 a.m.? No problem. Chocolate croissant with your Tanqueray martini? Of course. Best of all, you won’t be dining alone. The word is out: The vibrant chatter of late-night diners gives the room the energy of a nightclub, but at a volume that permits healthy end-of-evening conversation and scheming. ChRis KoRnelis 1117 12th Ave., 7097674, cafepresseseattle.com

Best Local Distillery

We’re a sucker for the company logo—the tentacles of an octopus—but it’s what’s inside those elegant bottles that really counts, and SoUnd SpiriTS, the city’s first distillery

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

CHEERS TO NORTHWEST BEERS! 1987 ~ 2012

Anniversary Week

Ye ar so

A Celebration for All Our Craft Beer Friends!

df f Craft Beer an

August 13-18

MONDAY: 8pm

Elysian Brewer Appreciation Night

TUESDAY: 8pm

Big Time & the All-Star Brewers

WEDNESDAY: 8pm

A Salute to First Pours

THURSDAY: 6pm

Latona Cask Festival

FRIDAY: 5:30pm

Musical Artists of the Latona

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

T IM IG

WE HAVE BEERS ON TAP!

6423 Latona Ave. Northeast 206.525.2238

8016 15th Ave. N.E. ~ Maple Leaf (206)524-5060

The 25th Anniversary Party!

GROWLERS TO GO

SATURDAY: 5-10pm

21 Medals including 11 Gold at the

Great American Beer Festival Follow us on Twitter

twitter.com/BigTimeBrewery & get a reward.

+ Grumpy Hour 2-5pm

AA Specialty Specialty Beer Beer and and Wine Wine Store Store

* 800+ rotating domestic and international beers * 400+ wines, bubbles, ports & sakes * Largest mead & hard cider selection in the Northwest!

www.fullthrottlebottles.com (206) 763-2079 * 5909 Airport Way S Seattle, WA 98108 info@fullthrottlebottles.com *

Happy Hour! Food & Beer Specials 3-6pm Mon - Fri Freshly made and served here in Ballard! 1111 NW Ballard Way • 206.782.6181

21+ Music starts at the final out of the game

www.pyramidbrew.com Facebook.com/PyramidSEA PyramidSEA

See who’s playing

NE Portland • PDX Airport Battle Ground, WA SE Portland

IN COM

OO G S

laurelwoodbrewpub.com

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Find us wherever quality craft beer is sold throughout Oregon and Washington, or visit us at one of our pub locations.

best of seattle 2012

verycoolsmartfun eyewear

Food & Drink

established post-Prohibition, delivers some smooth booze. The five stills in the snug shop crank out handcrafted batches of gin, vodka, the spice-driven Scandinavian staple aquavit, an old-fashioned gin called Old Tom, and an herbal liqueur called Vow of Silence. We’re happy to shout out distiller Steven Stone for using Palouse malted barley, making his Ebb + Flow shine in the ever-crowded sea of vodka. It’s top-shelf stuff in Seattle’s best bars, but you should make a point of stopping by the tasting room to sip some for a small fee. LESLIE KELLY 1630 15th Ave. W., 651-

217-2030 166 Roy St. www.eyeballs.co

5166, drinksoundspirits.com

Bringing authentic Greek food to Ballard! 2011 Seattle Weekly Winner, Best Greek. 2009 Evening Magazine Winner, Best Mediterranean Featured in Food Lover’s Guide by Keren Brown as one of the top restaurants in Seattle Best of the Ballard Restaurant Project 2011 W

NER

WWW. PLaKaBaLLaRD .COM

5407 20TH AVE NW • 206-829-8934

Best Lunch Counter

For eaters who haven’t made the pilgrimage to Il Corvo (and if you haven’t, can you really call yourself an eater?), it’s known as the weekday-only, cash-only lunch joint where the owner won’t package pasta to go and steadfastly refuses to serve gluten-free noodles. Mike Easton’s customers, though, know Il Corvo as the source of spectacular pasta. Easton makes two or three shapes and sauces a day, and they’re all wonderful. Not surprisingly, he’s passionate about his work: When Voracious tried to wrangle Easton for a column about chefs’ hobbies, he revealed his life only consists of spending time with his young daughter and thinking about noodles. HANNA RASKIN 1501 Western Ave., 622-4280,

ilcorvopasta.com

Best Mexican Market

When it comes to eating at El PAISANo, there’s one piece of advice you need: Get there before church gets out. Although the White Center market serves hundreds of the $1 snacks wrapped in corn husks every day, there’s no substitute for getting a hot tamale fresh on its busiest day, when they’re restocked constantly. But, as I said, get there before Mass ends, or prepare to get comfy in line. CHRIS KORNELIS 9615 15th Ave. S.W., 763-2418, White Center

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Best Mexican Restaurant

Urban Eye Care

Your Vision Is Our Vision

Medical Dental Building - 509 Olive Way; Suite 634; Seattle; 206-344-2020

Different Mexican states have their own distinctive cuisines, but the southwestern territory of Oaxaca boasts several within its borders. Situated on the Pacific Ocean and divided by the Sierra mountain ranges, the dishes from this corner of the country are as eclectic as they are delectable. For proof, look no further than MEZCAlErIA oAXACA. An extension of Ballard’s wildly popular Carta de Oaxaca, the menu features exquisite seafood (order the ceviche with orange-chipotle sauce; you won’t regret it), meats slathered in rich mole sauces (exhibit A: the tamales encased in banana leaves), and tacos served atop handmade tortillas. Its crowning achievement, though, is barbacoa de cabrito: goat marinated in chile sauce and slow-cooked in a custom roaster in the cozy rear dining room. All this deliciousness ought to be washed down with a shot of mezcal, the smoke-imbued agave liquor that lends the restaurant its name; appropriately enough the bar stocks every variety currently available in Washington. KEEGAN HAMILTON 2123 Queen Anne Ave. N., 216-4446, mezcaleriaoaxaca.com

Best Middle-Eastern Restaurant

MAwAddA customers might think they’re choosing what to eat when they decide between, say, falafel and shawarma, but the dishes are just details: They all end up eating garlic. Sweet, stinky garlic is everywhere at Mawadda, and it’s pretty fantastic, whether in a grilled meat’s marinade or a sauce that’s a creamy magnet for French fries. Food here is cooked to order, giving patrons plenty of time to enjoy the counter-service restaurant’s friendly neighborhood atmosphere. HANNA RASKIN 4433 S. Graham St., 760-0911, mawadda

cafe.com

Best Milkshake

It’s a heroic feat to eat anything after taking down one of lUNCHBoX lABorATorY’s monstrous burgers. But if you can manage to squeeze in a milkshake, we promise you won’t regret it. Lunchbox makes a luscious shake, with real milk and ice cream, served in a lab-themed glass beaker, and the flavors go above and beyond plain old chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry: candy-studded Whopper Malted Milk Balls, Almond Joy, silky-smooth Boston Creme Donut, and Banana Creme Pie, to name just a few. For $3.50, you can spike any shake with vodka, rum, or a number of other liquors. Or go straight for a customized Boozie Shake, the best of which is the Caramel Macchiato, an icy blend of chocolate, caramel, coffee, Bailey’s, Kahlua, and caramel vodka—three tipsy shots more fun than Starbucks’ drink of the same name. ERIN K. THOMPSON 1253 Thomas St., 621-1090, lunchboxlaboratory.com

Best New Restaurant

Situated on a stretch of Queen Anne Avenue that’s notoriously tough on fine-dining restaurants, lloYdMArTIN has struggled in its first year to keep its dining room packed. Vets invariably wonder why, since Sam Crannell and his talented crew have created the restaurant that Seattle eaters say they want: The focus at this clubby haunt is squarely on the food, although there are well-made cocktails and an approachable wine list. The menu fluxes with the seasons and Crannell’s whims, but nearly every dish is a boldfaced celebration of superlative ingredients. HANNA RASKIN 1525 Queen Anne Ave. N., 420-7602, lloydmartinseattle.com

Best Outdoor Dining

MAXIMIlIEN’s tucked-away location in Pike Place Market—behind the meat market that’s next to where they throw the fish, if you catch my drift—makes every visit feel a bit like a caper. But take in a late-night summer meal on Maximilien’s outdoor deck and you’ll feel like you’ve stepped into a public dinner party. There are precious few places you can drink and nosh while enjoying a view of Elliott Bay, and Maximilien’s—not to mention its French seafood—is the best. CHRIS KORNELIS 81 Pike St., 682-7270,

maximilienrestaurant.com

Best Philly Steak

We’re off to eat the Whiz/The wonderful Cheez Whiz of TAT’S/We hear they’re ’wiches wit’ Whiz in which/The Whiz is

TRY THE BEST a winner and that’s/Why if ever a ’wich without Whiz there was/We never would eat such a ’wich because/Because, because, because, because, becaaaaause/Because of the wonderful things Whiz does (to Philly sandwiches)/Oh, we’re off to eat the Whiz/The wonderful Cheez Whiz of Taaaaaaaaat’s . . . KEEGAN HAMILTON 159 Yesler

catering to retirees is a lucrative niche, and the Broiler fills it adroitly. Prime-rib nights, liver and onions, London Broil, hot rolls, Thousand Island, stiff Manhattans— folks with a few miles on their odometers appreciate the classics. Come to think of it, youngsters do too (except maybe for the liver and onions). MIKE SEELY 8230 35th Ave.

Way, 264-8287, tatsdeli.com

N.E., 523-1115, wedgwoodbroiler.com

Best Pie Shop

Best Place to Get Fatter

383-3796, alamodeseattle.com

CHRIS KORNELIS toppotdoughnuts.com

Best Pizza, Thick-Crust

Best Restaurant to Die in the Past Year

The pie contingent has ceded the popularity battle to the misguided sugar fiends who crave cupcakes, but they’re not letting up on the quality front. Foremost among local pie producers is Chris Porter, the talented baker behind A LA Mode Pies, which last year opened its first retail shop. An A La Mode pie—whether hazelnut-marionberry, sour cherry, or strawberry-rhubarb—isn’t a fusillade of sweetness (ahem, cupcake partisans), and its buttery crust is always perfectly crisped. HANNA RASKIN 5821 Phinney Ave. N.,

Seattleites have wasted way too much brainpower trying to classify the NoRTHLAKe TAVeRN’s pizza. It’s not Chicago style, and it’s certainly not New York or Neapolitan. Lifting a slice is akin to lifting a dumbbell, and if you choose to have at one with a fork, you’ll probably need a knife to separate a bite from its core. The pizza is fresh, delicious, and mega-filling, and the friendly dine-in atmosphere is reminiscent of a Midwestern college-town sports bar. For a certain type of transplant, the Northlake feels like home, while at the same time being classically Seattle (the David Horsey– penned wall decor sure helps in that regard; also see “Best Cartoonist,” page 32). MIKE SEELY 660 N.E. Northlake Way, 633-5317, northlaketavern.com

Best Pizza, Thin-Crust

HANNA RASKIN 4235 E. Madison St., 860-6110,

theindiepizzeria.com

Best Place to Eat With Grandpa

There will probably come a day when Seattle’s septuagenarians have adventurous, worldly palates, but that day is still at least a decade off. And until then, the WedGWood BRoiLeR will remain the place to take your granddad for a night out on his terms. In fairness to the Mayberry (Ever been to Wedgwood? The shoe fits) mainstay, it’s been successful in drawing neighborhood youth to its classic lounge, which is invisible from the main dining area. But

mint

coriander

juniper

hops

lavender fuji apple

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to a party at Barsuk Records and ate all the ToP PoT donuts? Seriously, nobody else was, and I was hungry. Every time I walked by, there they were, untouched, just looking at me. Did I miss the memo? Were they props for John Roderick’s next self-help video? Was I the only one who didn’t see the acid-spiked lemon bars? I couldn’t stop. When it was time for me to bail, I grabbed one for the road, and walked my fatter-than-usual ass three miles to catch the ferry. It barely burned a sprinkle.

Before Seattle was a restaurant town, there was Le GoURMANd, quietly espousing, in a clandestine East Ballard storefront, all the values and proficiency that would ultimately put Seattle on the culinary map. Until it opened the cocktail bar Sambar next door, Le Gourmand was the opposite of a pop-in place: If you went to Le Gourmand, it was a dining event, with courses. Every customer who passed through Le Gourmand’s doors expected their dining experience to be memorable. Hence, it could be argued that the bar was set higher for Le Gourmand than for just about any restaurant in Seattle. And man, did Le Gourmand clear it, time and again. MIKE SEELY

Explore www.dryflydistilling.com

Best Restaurant for a First Date

Sure, you could meet her at a Starbucks or grab an after-work drink at Duke’s. But what’s that say about you? It says you’re: a) boring, b) cheap, and c) uninterested in the No-Pants Dance. So suggest meeting for the first time at CANLis’ bar instead. This is an ingenious move: You’re at the city’s nicest restaurant, but in its bar, where there’s live piano, expertly crafted drinks, and an appetizer menu (opt for the truffle fries) that won’t plunge you into the red. At Canlis, you’re required to dress up. You’ll look good. You’ll ooze class. If things go well (and unless you’re a social retard, they’ll be going well enough), you can discreetly snare a 9 p.m. dinner reservation on your way back from the bathroom, a maneuver which will almost certainly lead to a midnight reservation, party of two, in your bed. MIKE SEELY 2576 Aurora Ave. N., 283-3313, canlis.com

Best Restaurant if Someone Else Is Paying

Much of the love for Renee Erickson’s work centers on the redoubtable The Walrus and the Carpenter in Ballard, which remains near the top of the city’s best-restaurants list. But for your money, I’m going to Erickson’s BoAT sTReeT CAFe,

Serving Breakfast pizzas including the Spamalamadingdong! Plus an expanded menu... the weekend Happy Hour... and the Best Damn Bloody Mary in town! 5405 Leary Ave NW Seattle, WA 206.783.7777 www.ZaydaBuddysPizza.com

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Seattle is home to plenty of pizzaiolos sweating to conform to strict VPN standards, which dictate how a pizza should be shaped and how long it should spend in the oven in order to emerge as an acceptable homage to Neapolitan pie-making traditions. But pizzerias not obliged to follow rigid rules issued by a bunch of guys in Naples are free to focus on crust texture, sauce flavor, and topping ratios. THe iNdePeNdeNT PiZZeRiA has mastered all three, and its near-waterfront location would charm even the most finicky Italian.

Handcrafted for Great Flavor in the Pacific Northwest

Farm Fresh

d Famous Worl

best of seattle 2012

Food & Drink

Ingredients

French

Techniques

By the Farmer’s Market on Bainbridge

Island

Walking Distance from the Ferry Open Lunch & Dinner Tuesday - Saturday

Reservations (206) 842-1633

150 Madrone Lane Bainbridge Island, WA 98110

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

RestaurantmMarcheBainbridge.com

Seattle Style Hot Dogs

2009 WI

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One of a kind hot dogs served fresh daily from two amazing locations 13 different kinds of hot dogs including: Field Roast Vegetarian Turkey Dogs And all your other Favorite Classics

Seattle

Westlake Park (206) 254-0943

Bellevue

Bellevue Square (425) 646-6555

which manages to summon a summery French vibe in an unexpected basement location. The ambience is eclipsed only by the food, which is reliably excellent. The justly famed bread pudding is always available, but if I were dining on your dime, I’d order whatever’s just been added to the menu, including lots of oysters; housemade paté; a salad of locally grown greens; freshly caught fish; and a bottle of white Burgundy. And, OK, maybe bread pudding for dessert. HANNA RASKIN 3131 Western Ave.

Best Fresh Seafood Counter

#301, 632-4602, boatstreetcafe.com

Place, 467-0514, jacksfishspot.com

Best Restaurant Trend

Best Service

Emboldened by what bacon can do for Brussels sprouts, chefs have moved down the garden row to the next neglected vegetable, finding space on their plates for cauliflower. A few years ago, the height of cauliflower’s culinary career was getting splashed with cheese sauce, but it’s made far more sophisticated appearances in Seattle, whether bathed in brown butter at Terra Plata, puréed at Staple & Fancy, or fried at Purple. It’s a happy trend for now—but we reserve the right to re-evaluate when the white veggie shows up on the dessert tray. HANNA RASKIN

Best Sandwiches

The menu at DelicaTuS is divided into two categories: “Traditionalists” and “Progressives.” It’s unclear whether the Pioneer Square eatery intended to mirror Seattle itself, where traditionalists fight change kicking and screaming, and progressives would make bicycle commuting mandatory if they had their way, but the sandwich dichotomy definitely leaves something for everyone. Traditionalist favorites like the Reuben, chicken salad, and BLT come heaped with meat on breads from Essential Baking Company, while progressives feature clever names (i.e., “The Mudd Honey”) and unique fillers like braised lamb shank, fancy aioli sauces, and pickled veggies—all sourced, of course, from local, sustainable suppliers. So while it normally takes Seattle several years of discussion and at least one public vote to decide on civic matters, lunch orders here, at least, can be settled in a matter of minutes. KEEGAN HAMILTON 103 First Ave. S., 623-3780, delicatusseattle.com

Best Seafood

If your idea of a seafood restaurant includes she-crab soup, dainty oyster forks, and warm hand towels, Taylor ShellfiSh’s retail store might not scratch your itch. But if you’re willing to trade silver tureens and ceremony for shockingly fresh oysters, a glass of pinot gris, and a crusty baguette, there is no better seafood restaurant than the counter operation Taylor last year opened alongside Melrose Market. In addition to the oysters, there are clams, mussels, crabs, and a chowder bar overseen by geoduck maestro Xinh Dwelley. It’s the perfect destination for locals and tourists who want to feel closer to the sea. HANNA RASKIN 1521 Melrose Ave., 501-4321,

taylormelrose.com

It’s not enough to have only fresh fish at Pike Place Market—you can get that at any number of counters. What makes JacK’S fiSh SpoT the best is the combination of fresh, reasonably priced seafood and a killer lunch counter (fish and chips are a must). And then there’s Jack, a musician who fronts as a fishmonger who is happy to tell you about the record he’s making while you’re dipping your cod in tartar. Best of all: He won’t throw your fish! CHRIS KORNELIS 1514 Pike

Conversations about whiskey are often forgotten, for obvious reasons. So it’s worth noting when a server who last took your order weeks ago remembers how you take your bourbon. Diners who dislike rN74 often grumble that Michael Mina’s first Seattle restaurant lacks a local feel, and it’s very likely the service they find jarring. Servers here are attentive, polite, and appropriately submissive to guests’ requests. Most important, they’re highly professional, which means they might not engage in longwinded discussions of their craft-distilling dreams, but they’ll ready another Manhattan at the lift of an eyebrow. HANNA RASKIN 1433 Fourth Ave., 456-7474, michaelmina.net/ restaurants/locations/rnwa.php

Best Small Plates

Charles Walpole’s BliND pig BiSTro, the latest creative project to inhabit the blessed Eastlake storefront that originated Sitka & Spruce, doesn’t specialize in Spanish tapas or Lebanese mezes. Guests here can large-plate their way through dinner if they so choose, lining up an appetizer and entrée, since whatever Walpole’s team has scrawled on the daily menu board is available in big and little sizes. But, yawn. The best way to experience Blind Pig’s brilliance is to stick to the small portions and order everything on the menu. (And if that everything includes mackerel, make it a double.) HANNA RASKIN 2238 Eastlake Ave. E., 329-2744,

blindpigbistro.com

Best Soul Food

Thurmond Brokenbrough—the uNcle Thurm of the title—answers the phone like so: “You’ve reached Uncle Thurm, the man with the plan, the master of disaster, the geeter with the heater, the square from Delaware. How can I help you?” The extended hello guarantees Brokenbrough a win in the Best Phone Greeting category, but he’s also making a strong case, with his pork chops and yams, for top soul-food honors. Southerners stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord count on Brokenbrough for home-style cooking they can’t find elsewhere, including greens simmered with smoky ham hocks. HANNA RASKIN 3709 S. G St., Tacoma, 253-475-1881, facebook.com/pages/Uncle-Thurms-SoulFood/115600535136586

Best Starbucks

Snobby Seattle coffee drinkers too often forget that for the majority of the country,

Best Happy Hour Fish “2012 Certiﬁcate of Excellence”

- Tripadviser “2012 Top 20 Favorite Restaurants”

- Seattle Times

Serving Lunch Mon-Fri & Dinner Daily online reservations at nijosushi.com & opentable.com • (206)340-8880 large groups welcome (reservations requested for 10+) 83 Spring Street in Post Alley between Western & 1st

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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AUGUST 2012 | SEATTLE WEEKLY’S MUSIC REVIEW

T H E

K A R A O K E

I S S U E

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

A string of lawsu its in western Washington has tu industry upside d rned the karaoke own. By Dave La ke

CONCERT SERIES

TOMORROW NIGHT! AUG 2 • MARKET 8PM DOORS • 21+

OZOMATLI

with THE TORN ACLS

LTD GA SEATING AVAILABLE FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE FRI AUG 10 • MARKET 8PM DOORS • 21+

SEATTLE

SAT AUG 11 • MARKET 8PM DOORS • 21+

with NATALIE WOULDN’T FRI AUG 24 • MARKET

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

8PM DOORS • 21+

UP AND COMING:

THE CLASSIC CRIME | AUG 3 | MARKET • BILLY IDOL AID 4 | AUG 18 | MARKET

• CANNIBAL CORPSE | AUG 22 | SODO • DESAPARECIDOS | AUG 25 | MARKET • EL TRI | AUG 25 | SODO • REFUSED & SLEIGH BELLS | AUG 28 | SODO • HANK 3 | SEP 1 | SODO • OLD 97’S | SEP 4 | MARKET • MELVINS “LITE” | SEP 6 | MARKET • THE HIVES | SEP 7 | SODO • FUCKED UP & LIGHTNING BOLT | SEP 8 | MARKET • TAINTED LOVE | SEP 14 | MARKET • ATMOSPHERE | SEP 15 | MARKET • ANGUS STONE | SEP 15

• ANDY C & DOWNLINK | SEP 20 | MARKET • SERJ TANKIAN | SEP 21 | MARKET • KREATOR & ACCEPT | SEP 22 | MARKET • HATEBREED | SEP 25 | MARKET • KIMBRA | SEP 26 | MARKET • GARBAGE | SEP 26 | SODO • CARL CRAIG 69 LIVE | SEP 28 | MARKET • BLOC PARTY | SEP 28 | SODO • NIGHTWISH | OCT 1 | SODO • IMAGINE DRAGONS | OCT 2 | MARKET

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET 1426 1ST AVENUE SHOWBOX SODO 1700 1ST AVENUE S. SHOWBOXONLINE.COM

opening acts »August 2012 VOLUME 2 | NUMBER 8 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/REVERBMONTHLY

tractor www.tractortavern.com

»EDITOR’S LETTER

Killer Queen

5213 BALLARD AVE. NW • 789-3599

I can sing Beck’s “Debra” in all its falsetto-fueled glory. If you want me “to get with you, only you, girrrrrllllll, and your sister,” I will, on command, no problem. Unless, of course, it’s karaoke night. Every time I sing karaoke, I ask for “Debra.” Every time I’ve been disappointed. I have no way of knowing why “Debra” is absent from the world’s karaoke books. It could be licensing, laziness, obscurity, or a combination of all three. But if it made financial sense to get it there, someone would find a way. However, the companies that turn songs into karaoke tracks—as Dave Lake points out in “Karaoke Krisis,” page 8—are having their Napster moment. They’re shells of their former selves. Like their colleagues in the recorded-music business, the companies have been shellacked by piracy. Sound Choice, a company that once made an estimated 70 percent of the country’s karaoke tracks, has stopped producing new cuts altogether. If it paid to keep making new songs, they would. But it doesn’t. So here I am, singThe modern, often-maligned ing “Debra” a cappella. music business has produced Many people wince at the notion that more professional musicians, music is a business. To them, “music busiand more options for ness” means slick record-label executives songwriters, their favorite songs listeners, than at any fleecing becoming the soundtrack to McDonald’s other time in history. commercials, and Bud Light posters plastering summer festivals. To me, it means the residents of Rapid City, S.D., will be treated to a Bob Dylan concert later this month. The modern, often-maligned music business—a complicated infrastructure facilitating recording, listening, playing, and viewing—has produced more professional musicians, and more options for listeners, than at any other time in history. It’s never been easier or cheaper to record or experience music. But the reason we have these luxuries–iPhones, Spotify, the Gorge, and the Capitol Hill Block Party–is because innovators saw an opportunity to provide products that people would buy, thus earning them a return on their investment. The reason the Rolling Stones can play Missoula, Mont., and Elton John can pack an arena in Pullman is the same reason the xx can travel from England to Seattle and find a packed house waiting for them at Showbox at the Market: The business of music made it possible. What Dave’s story about the crumbling karaoke infrastructure reminds us is that as access to music is proliferating, the ability to monetize it is being shredded. And when people enjoy the fruits of the business without paying their fair share, they jeopardize the fate of the music industry—the best thing that ever happened to musicians and music fans. So hats off to the music industry: You made Rachel Belle’s intimate moment with a stranger in Japan possible (page 4); you gave Regina Spektor a chance to enjoy Britney Spears’ “Toxic” (page 4); and you gave SW editor Mike Seely a chance to work “Purple Rain” in front of a live audience (nightly). But if the music industry dies, you’ll never be able to hear me sing “Debra” at the Yen Wor. —Chris Kornelis, Editor, Reverb Monthly E ckornelis@seattleweekly.com

4 DISTRACIONS & DIVERSIONS

Rachel Belle is in Japan, Regina Spektor is Britney, and David Stoesz is white.

6 ANSWERS & ADVICE BY JOHN RODERICK | Aerosmith’s

bassist and a would-be governor solicit counsel.

8 KARAOKE CRISIS

BY DAVE LAKE | The sing-along business

has its Napster moment.

12 REVIEWS

Our take on every new Seattle release.

18 THE MONTH AHEAD It’s a long month. Here’s a show for each day.

INDIE FOLK & ALT-COUNTRY FROM BROOKLYN

THU, AUG 2 • 9PM ~ $10

TUE, AUG 7 • 9PM ~ $12 ADV / $14 DOS

JUNKYARD DOGS MOUNTAIN SPROUT

PHOSPHORESCENT

MIMICKING BIRDS

HONKY TONK COUNTRY BAND FROM FLINT, MI

FREEWHEELING ROCK WITH A PSYCHEDELIC SWIRL

WHITE DENIM

WHITEY MORGAN AND THE 78’S

YUNI IN TAXCO D.EVOLUTION.AIRES

SIDE SADDLE, REDNECK GIRLFRIEND

FRI, AUG 3 • 9:30PM ~ $12 ADV / $14 DOS

WED, AUG 8 • 9PM ~ $12 ADV / $14 DOS

FOLK, SOUL & ROCK FROM PORTLAND

ALL-FEMALE JAPANESE POP-PUNK

UNDERGROUND, TINY MESSENGERS

THE MALLARD TACOCAT

SAT, AUG 4 • 8:30PM ~ $10 ADV / $13 DOS SQUARE PEG CONCERTS PRESENTS

THU, AUG 9 • 9PM ~ $6

MICKY & THE MOTORCARS

JESSE MORROW

HENRY AT WAR

PATRICK FOSTER AND THE LOCOMOTIVE

SHONEN KNIFE

LANGHORNE SLIM & THE LAW KAY KAY AND HIS WEATHERED

POP SINGER/ SONGWRITER

FORTUNE DWELLERS

TIMES LISTED ARE SHOW TIMES. DOORS OPEN 30-60 MINUTES BEFORE

U& PMING: COMIN

8/10 MURDER BY DEATH, HA HA TONKA 8/11 AYRON JONES AND THE WAY, TIP TO BASE, PHILANA GOODRICH 8/13 MONDAY SQUARE DANCE with THE TALLBOYS 8/14 Doe Bay Fest After Party with THE DEVIL WHALE, TOM EDDY, BISON 8/15 GRIFFIN HOUSE, CALLAGHAN 8/16 Crescendo Productions presents BIG SAM’S FUNKY NATION, THE QUICK & EASY BOYS 8/17 & 8/18 THE PAPERBOYS, SI LIMON open Fri, DANIEL KIRKPATRICK AND THE BAYONETS open Sat 8/19 ELENI MANDELL, DAVID DONDERO 8/20 THREE MILE PILOT feat. members of Pinback & The Black Heart Procession, DRAMADY 8/21 ANGELO DELSENNO AND THE EMPTY SKY, THE BUFFALO STAGECOACH, PALATINE AVE * 8/22 BROWN BIRD 8/23 Square Peg presents CODY CANADA & THE DEPARTED (formerly of Cross Canadian Ragweed), SAMMY STEELE BAND 8/24 THE BAND OF HEATHENS, LERA LYNN

GAELIC STORM CHICKEN BOXER

TRA APPEARI OCTCTOR TNG AT OBE AVE R 18 RN -19

»reverb monthly

EDITOR Chris Kornelis DESIGNER Jane Sherman SENIOR EDITOR Erin K. Thompson COPY EDITOR Gavin Borchert

r o t

PROOFREADER Michael Mahoney COLUMNISTS Rachel Belle, Duff McKagan, John CONTRIBUTORS Gwendolyn Elliott, Gregory Franklin,

LAYOUT EDITOR: Kim Love COPYRIGHT © 2012 BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. ISSN 0898 0845 • REVERB IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. SEATTLE WEEKLY® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK. 1008 WESTERN AVE., STE. 300, SEATTLE, WA 98104. • FOUNDED 1976. MAIN SWITCHBOARD: 206-623-0500

»cover credit ADAM TURMAN

’s e h

u pl

i y u

Roderick, David Stoesz Julia Mullen Gordon, Eric Grandy, Todd Hamm, Dave Lake, Ma’Chell Duma LaVassar, Joe Williams

d e k

THE NEW ALBUM IN STORES JULY 31

Preview and buy now at gaelicstorm.com gaelicstorm.com facebook.com/gaelicstorm twitter.com/gaelicstorm

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

inside»

MON, AUG 6 • 9PM ~ $12

WED, AUG 1 • 9PM ~ $15 THE GREATEST ROCK ‘N’ ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD PLAYS COUNTRY

distractions&diversions»

presents at

Q&A

DIMITRIOU’S

RING MY BELLE

2 Become 1

One night of Japanese-style Karaoke. In Japan. BY RACHEL BELLE

2033 6th Avenue (206) 441-9729 j a z z a l l e y. c o m Visit us Online!

Ravi Coltrane Quartet

Saxophonist & Composer Deep, Cerebral, Masterful Touring in Support of his New Blue Note Release SPIRIT FICTION August 1

Dirty Dozen Brass Band

August 2 – 5 Tracy Nelson Blues, Gospel, R&B and Folk Singer (Mother Earth) 2012 Blues Music Awards Nominee for Best Traditional Album of the Year August 7 – 8

Spyro Gyra

American Jazz Fusion Celebrating 35 Years Since their First Album Release! August 9 – 12

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

Lydia Pense and Cold Blood

East Bay Grease – Funk/Soul/ R&B Tribute to the Legendary Etta James!

August 14 - 15

Karrin Allyson

One of the Jazz World’s Finest Grammy Nominated Singers August 16 - 19

Lee Ritenour with Dave Grusin

Grammy Award – Winning Guitarist with Grammy and Academy Award-Winning Pianist blend Contemporary Jazz & Classical Instrumentation

August 21 - 26

Walk-ins Always Welcome! All Ages • Free Parking • Gift Certificates Military, Senior and Student Discounts

Jazz Alley is a Supper Club

Rock Box 1603 Nagle Pl., rockboxseattle.com Seattle’s Best Karaoke 1818 Minor Ave., sbkaraoke.com Orient Express 2963 Fourth Ave. S., seattleorientexpress.com Venus Karaoke 601 S. King St., Suite 102, venusktv.com EnKore Karaoke 4337 University Way N.E., sing.encore-k.com Become 1”), and khakis-wearing off-key housewives (mostly Japanese love ballads), and met a 40-year-old mom who spent some evenings singing by herself to escape her children.

After one particularly loud, sweaty night of karaoke with friends, I stumbled onto the street around 4 a.m., energized by the cool air and my lingering tall-can beer buzz. The street looked completely abandoned, and as I began my short walk home, I put in my earbuds and cued up the Avett Brothers’ “Colorshow.” It was one of those beautifully rare moments when life felt perfect and present. I walked, with a big, stupid grin on my face, belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs: Be loud! Let your colors show! Try to keep the madness low! He seemed to come out of nowhere: a cute, lanky, Japanese guy with a rare smattering of tattoos and a smile as big as mine. He trotted up beside me, and without saying a word plucked an earbud out of my right ear and placed it in his. We grinned at each other. He only said one word: “Good!” I nodded enthusiastically. We walked down the middle of the empty street, shoulder to shoulder, grinning like loons, listening to the music. When we got to the end of the street, we parted, and I skipped the rest of the way home. There are now a handful of places to do Japanese-style karaoke in Seattle (see box), which is a perfect way to spend a rainy afternoon or a drunken evening, hopefully sans Creed. E music@seattleweekly.com

DIG MY MOOD

Say It Loud! I’m skinny! White! And full of soul! BY DAVID STOESZ

an a white man sing black music? Well, duh, of course. Not everyone sees it that way, though:

Me (thumbing through a karaoke songbook the other night): They

got a lotta Al Green . . . Marvin Gaye . . . Hey, the Stylistics . . . My girlfriend: Um . . . Me: What?? My girlfriend: I’m not saying you can’t sing those songs, but wouldn’t you be more, um, comfortable, with something from your own era? How about the Talking Heads? Me (sulking): Fuck the Talking Heads. Though music can be an issue in almost any relationship, my SO and I are basically pretty tolerant. I love her enough to listen to classic rock, and she loves me enough to listen to John Coltrane. And there’s a giant swath of overlap in our tastes that takes in the Kills and Tupac. But karaoke makes musical differences public, and also introduces the danger of shared humiliation. Which is what my girlfriend

wanted to stave off at the Yen Wor the other night, believing I was about to engage in some serious cultural appropriation. I disagreed: Me: Remember, I’m from Ohio. The funkiest state in the country. Bootsy Collins, Zapp. I went to the same high school as the Ohio Players! Girlfriend: Just because you went to school with black people doesn’t make you black. Me: Maybe it does, and maybe it doesn’t. Now, I happened to be right and she happened to be wrong. Because American music belongs to Americans, period. But love isn’t about winning arguments, and I realized it’s more important to stay together than to sing “Let’s Stay Together.” So I settled on Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues,” which is the just the kind of dopey, fondly remembered song that makes a perfect karaoke selection. It also contains the line “I simply love you more than I love life itself.” As sung to my favorite Supertramp fan, that’s a simple fact. And nothing could be more soulful than that. E music@seattleweekly.com

Regina Spektor’s not afraid to get “Toxic.” BY DAVE LAKE

SW: Do you do karaoke? Spektor: I love karaoke! What is your song of choice? Defi-

nitely “Since U Been Gone” [Kelly Clarkson]. That’s always fun to do, because you get to scream at the very top of your range. I love being an audience member more than anything. It’s one of the happiest things. Nothing compares to watching your friends sing songs that they love into a microphone in a tiny room. It’s the only place where I really like those pop songs. Any others you’ve sung recently? I really

like “Toxic” [Britney Spears]. But me and my friend always change it to “ ’Cause you know you’re a chopstick.”

How about a favorite cover of one of your songs? Years ago, Seth

SHERVIN LAINEZ

Music of Treme and Legends of New Orleans Funking up Seattle! Celebrating 35 Years and their New Release.

n Japan, everybody does karaoke. Unlike here—where the stage is often occupied by a) a drunk guy unironically, and very emotionally, singing Creed; b) a group of drunk girls in tube tops singing “We Are Family”; or c) a drunk woman who can sing like Xtina, but answers phones at State Farm—the private karaoke rooms of Japan make everyone feel safe enough to sing. During the year I lived there, I shared karaoke booths with a group of middle-aged salarymen in suits (they were partial to the Carpenters), a gaggle of giggly college students (the Spice Girls’ “2

Cover Girl

Avett of the Avett Brothers sent me a really beautiful cover of “Samson.” He does this thing where he just feels like covering a song, and he’ll send it in the mail. Are you sure he wasn’t flirting?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure [laughs]. Oh, and another one, which was kind of mind-blowing, is Peter Gabriel covered “Après Moi.” He made it really mysterious, and he did it with an orchestra. I just two days ago came home from this European tour, and one of the places that I played was a festival in Lisbon. The night before playing, my road manager got an e-mail saying that Peter Gabriel was also playing. And he’s made “Après Moi” part of his repertoire. He’s been playing it all over the world, which is super-cool. But I’d never had the chance to hear it live, because every time he was in New York I was on tour. So he actually had me come during his set and sing the Russian verses of it in Portugal. He’s one of these people who can really riff and improvise with his voice. He’s really comfortable with that. We met 20 minutes before he was going onstage, and we sort of made a plan for how it was going to happen. Then he said, “Let’s trade verses and we’ll just sort of improvise.” And I was just like, “Uh . . . ” I mean, there’s thousands of people there, and an orchestra! He’s the nicest, most gracious person to try and do that with because he made me feel like I couldn’t fuck up, which is obviously untrue. But he made it seem like that. I loved it. E music@seattleweekly.com REGINA SPEKTOR With Only Son. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 682-1414, stgpresents.org. $25.75–$45.75. All ages. 8 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 9.

a fresh locally grown event

slow food roots music

fest val Produced by

saturday & sunday

august 25 & august 26 stanwood camano community fairgrounds

• local homegrown food • • provocative speakers • • cooking demos & artisans •

featuring

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Fremont

distractions&diversions» ANSWERS/ADVICE

Inslee’s Got a Pun Assisting Aerosmith’s bassist and Washington’s Democratic gubernatorial hopeful. BY JOHN RODERICK

Should I learn how to read music? —Tom Hamilton, Aerosmith (The band plays the Tacoma Dome on Wed., Aug. 8.) Roderick: This is a really good question—

one I am often asked by members of Aerosmith. I think you should absolutely learn to read music, Tom, because staying young is a continual process of learning and growing. I’m not trying to flimflam you with a bunch of hippie spirituality; I’m sure you’ve heard more crackpot New Age health gibberish than almost any man on Earth, sitting around hotel lobbies half-listening while stoner girls in their early 20s try to impress you with their alternative health remedies. The wheatgrass-juice enemas you’ve had in the past 10 years alone probably make you shudder every time your tour bus drives through alfalfa country. Still, it is undoubtedly true that learning new things can happen at any age, and that a limber mind is the secret of youth.

Everyone, even someone who has probably shot cocaine up his nose with a crossbow, needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I’m sure your memories of hordes of long-haired teenage groupies ripping off their bell-bottoms in a frenzy to have gang sex with you in your underwater fetish grotto—back before this country got so moralistic about rock musicians mentoring crazy teenagers in this way—must keep the blues away on most rainy mornings. Even so, imagine the great satisfaction you’ll have as you sit down with your “Beginner’s Music Notation” lesson book and start practicing your scales. It warms the heart, and think of how proud it will make your grandparents. Who likes Nickelback more—you or Rob McKenna? —Democratic Party gubernatorial candidate and former U.S. Rep. Jay Inslee

I appreciate your question, Representa-

tive Inslee, but I feel obligated to tell you that the band Nickelback is what we call a “dead meme.” That is to say, using Nickelback as a coded reference to indicate you know the “uncool” bands is now itself generally understood to be a super-unhip move. Stay with me here, because this could be the key to unlocking the hipster vote: If you make a Nickelback joke in a public debate with Rob McKenna, there is every possibility that his handlers will have prepared him to say with a COMPLETELY STRAIGHT FACE that he actually likes Nickelback, which will function as a kind of anti-ironic “reverse burn.” So I’d leave Nickelback humor completely off the table, and instead talk about how you at first thought Gotye was cool, but then he got irritating, but now you think he’s pretty cool again. McKenna will be completely lost. Curiously, my editors at Seattle Weekly sent me two questions from you. The first was a query about Ironic Mustache Syndrome, or “IMS.” But I quickly received an e-mail saying that you had nixed it in favor of the Nickelback one. I then received a final e-mail stating that you had come to your senses and given your blessing to the original question. So let’s get right down to it: I just recently attended the Capitol Hill Block Party, where I noticed a high ratio of men suffering from Ironic Mustache Syndrome. Treatments are effective, but access is still a problem. My question is:

Should IMS be considered a pre-existing condition under the Affordable Care Act? —Rep. Inslee

In all honesty, I think this is a much funnier question. It references the Block Party, irony, mustaches, and Obamacare, and it coins a new acronym. I’m curious to know what is going on over there at Inslee Campaign Headquarters, where a dynamite question like this would get kiboshed in favor of that unfortunate Nickelback business? When McKenna makes a hilariously on-point joke about ironic mustaches later this year, will voters be fooled into thinking his robotically weird “center-right” Republicanism is a hipper ideology than your consistently ethical liberalism? Don’t lose the high ground here. I recommend you have a staff meeting and give your absolute confidence to whomever voted for the mustache question. They understand the shifting tides of popular culture, and should be given cabinet-level positions. Those staffers who lobbied for the Nickelback question should be chastised and upbraided, perhaps including a bread-and-water diet for two days. They’re overthinking your campaign, and need to get up to speed before some unscrupulous reporter starts to ask uncomfortable questions about whether Owl City still sounds too much like The Postal Service. E John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for Seattle’s The Long Winters. He tweets @johnroderick.

7th Annual

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jroderick@seattleweekly.com

CONCERT SERIES

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Celebrating the Importance of the Arts in Our Community

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t The Atlantic Crossing, a neighborhood pub in the Roosevelt District, Monday nights also mean karaoke. The bar’s tables BY DAVE LAKE are filled by two dozen or so regulars, who make their way to the tiny stage when called karaoke. Thanks to the rise of peer-to-peer up by the KJ, cheered on by friends and t’s late on a Monday night at the Carofile-sharing services like BitTorrent and the a smattering of applause. A middle-aged, line Tavern in north Seattle, and the ubiquity of personal computers, consumers ponytailed man sings a rousing version of the regulars are throwing back pints of can copy and trade digital files with ease. This Violent Femmes’ “Add It Up.” “Day after day,” cheap beer while playing pool and has put a major dent in the bottom line of he sings, going all out on the final line, “I get popping quarters into the bar’s lone pinball companies like Sound Choice, which produces angry and I will say/That the day is in my machine. The evening’s earlier musical enterthese tracks—and which once had 85 employsight/When I take a bow and say goodnight.” tainment now concluded, a pretty 20-someees in its North Carolina offices, but now has As if on cue, he bows in time with the lyric, thing brunette scrolls through the songs just seven on the payroll. eliciting screams from several females in on the bar’s wall-mounted digital jukebox In the ’90s, Sound Choice enjoyed profits the crowd, who holler as if he’s the Femmes’ until she finds one she likes, and the opening in the tens of millions of dollars for its highGordon Gano himself. For the song’s four chords of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” fill the minutes and 44 seconds, he is. place with beautiful noise. The bar is still flush quality recordings, but current economic conditions have forced the The karaoke induswith patrons. Mondays are karaoke nights. company to stop productry isn’t immune Every night of the week, in every neighLike the mainstream from criticism that it ing new karaoke tracks borhood of Seattle, a karaoke show is going recording industry, the is partially to blame altogether. This means no on. Each venue (usually bars or restaurants) Lady Gaga or Katy Perry offers a familiar scene: a group of semi-drunk companies that produce for its decline. Like songs from the company recorded-music amateurs taking to the stage to belt out a karaoke tracks are in a the that once produced an business, it was slow version of a favorite pop song—from Bonfinancial tailspin. to adapt to the new estimated 70 percent of all nie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” to tracks played in karaoke digital reality. Even the Eagles’ “Desperado.” Along with a book venues. “It used to be, you pay for your music as technology progresses and new business that lists the available songs, you’ll also find a and water is free,” says Kurt Slep, Sound models emerge, karaoke recording compavideo monitor that displays the words to each Choice’s CEO. “Now music is free and you pay nies continue to deliver fully licensed tracks song and a PA system to play back the vocalfor water.” on CD only. Slep says that music publishers free tracks to sing along with. Karaoke was invented in Japan in the early haven’t yet begun to grant permission to comBut many of these venues have something ’70s and found popularity in the U.S. in the panies like his to make downloadable tracks else in common: a karaoke host playing pirated ’90s. Its growth has remained steady; Slep available for public performance. Though tracks. When you’re singing karaoke, chances estimates that 40,000 to 50,000 venues across sites like Amazon and The Karaoke Channel are your backing track has been stolen. the country offer karaoke shows each week. sell downloadable karaoke tracks for about $2 Like the mainstream recording industry, the each, the terms and conditions state that the companies that produce karaoke tracks are in a This popularity has increased the demand tracks are for personal, non-commercial use financial tailspin. Karaoke tracks aren’t just the for karaoke jockeys—KJs—which in turn has only, and aren’t licensed to be used by a KJ at popular recordings you’re used to hearing with created an underground market for karaoke tracks, something Bill Marsten, a computer a show. But companies are burying this info the lead vocals stripped away, but re-creations geek and longtime karaoke fan, was ready to by studio musicians specifically produced for » CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

A string of lawsuits in western Washington has turned the industry upside down.

Softball

capitalize on. For a few hundred bucks—a fraction of the price of purchasing them legally—hopeful KJs can purchase hard drives from Marsten on Craigslist that are preloaded with tens of thousands of karaoke tracks. And the kicker? Marsten’s not even a little bit concerned about getting caught. “Over the years I’ve had to deal with all this bullshit,” Marsten says, “because I make no secret of what I do and how I do it. It is a grey area possibly, but yes, I’d say it’s perfectly legal.” To make up for some of the revenue lost to pirates like Marsten, Sound Choice has adopted a new business model: lawsuits. Last year the company began suing both KJs and venues for trademark infringement when it discovers its tracks are being used illegally. So far the company has been quite successful. Three suits have been filed in western Washington alone, with more than 40 defendants named, including Ozzie’s in Lower Queen Anne, Yen Wor Garden in Greenwood, and the Hitchin’ Post Saloon in Federal Way. The company’s goal is to get karaoke hosts and venues into its “Get Legit or Quit” program, which offers amnesty to hosts who agree to destroy their pirated Sound Choice tracks and replace them with legitimate copies at a cost of few thousand dollars. Defendants who ignore the lawsuit face a default judgment that far exceeds the cost of getting legit.

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deep in the fine print in the hope of maximizing profits. While savvy hosts understand the differences in the licenses, less-informed hosts do not, and load up on what they assume to be legal, licensed songs they can use in their shows. Chris Avis, a Redmond-based KJ whose company hosts karaoke shows at Jabu’s in Lower Queen Anne and Cloud 9 in Kent, says he won’t download anything online until the legalities become clearer. Avis is also a certified Sound Choice host, meaning his collection of Sound Choice music has been audited by the company and verified as being 100 percent legitimate. And he has similar certifications from other karaoke-music manufacturers. But there’s no legal obligation for a KJ or venue to get certified, and Avis says the certification mostly serves as a marketing gimmick. It’s impossible, he says, to keep up with the inexhaustible stashes of music pirate KJs have. And he makes less money now for a gig than he did when he started, thanks to an oversaturation of hosts in the market. Avis feels that part of his mission as a legal karaoke host is to educate other hosts and venues on the problems facing the industry, something he does on his blog, A Fair Rotation (afairrotation.wordpress.com). Sound Choice has been trying to do the same, partnering with the monthly Northwest Karaoke Guide to make the 800 venues that advertise in the magazine aware of the legal issues they could face by employing hosts with illegal tracks in their collection. Not every venue has gotten the message. The general manager of Ozzie’s, a popular spot that hosts karaoke seven nights a week, would not give his name, but says no one at his club saw these materials. When they learned they’d been named in one of Sound Choice’s lawsuits, they were surprised. The venue had cobbled together its music collection from various hosts and providers over the years, but had no idea they were breaking the law by not having all the songs on a disc. Ozzie’s assumed that the fees they pay to performing-rights organizations—such as BMI and ASCAP, which collect artists’ royalties for music played in an establishment—covered them for karaoke music too. A popular local KJ echoed this notion, saying all their tracks were cleared and legal since they ran shows only in venues that paid the performing-rights organizations. But both parties were wrong—these organizations do not collect on behalf of karaoke producers. So Ozzie’s became a paying Sound Choice customer, replacing its unverified tracks with fully licensed versions.

he litigation tactic employed by Sound Choice to police its trademark has become common among the owners of intellectual property in the digital age. From music labels to photo agencies and pornographers, many copyright and trademark holders who find their content being freely traded are hoping to stave off obsolescence by threatening legal action against those who misuse it.

Jane Winn, a professor of business and e-commerce law at the University of Washington, says karaoke companies need to reinvent themselves as service companies if they hope to turn things around. “The reason the copyright industry has been so profoundly resistant to moving to this business model,” she says, “is because they have too many lawyers and government lobbyists. They’ve resisted market pressure to innovate because they can always go to Congress and get another copyright-extension bill. Do you kill and eat your own children, or do you wait for someone else to?” Winn says one solution could be to put a third-party certification system in place for hosts—similar to the system that accredits universities, for example. She says if consumers can be taught to patronize venues that employ certified karaoke hosts, the industry could see a shift. But even that wouldn’t make a difference unless singers—many of whom, let’s face it, have downloaded their fair share of music at home—vote with their feet for legit KJs. Not a single singer interviewed for this piece said they cared how the music they were singing along with was acquired. Even singers conscious of piracy aren’t likely to ask to see a jock’s CDs to verify legitimacy, but how a host runs a show can be a giveaway: If a show is being run off a laptop, there’s a good chance the tracks aren’t cleared for public use. While Sound Choice grants KJs permission to media-shift its songs (meaning every digital track in a collection must have a matching disc) on a one-to-one basis, this is the exception and not the rule.

“It used to be, you pay for your music and water is free. Now music is free and you pay for water.” One possible solution is a subscription model like Rhapsody and Spotify: Hosts would pay a monthly fee for access to a cloud-based collection of tracks that would be cleared for use in a venue. Though such a service isn’t yet available, Knoxville, Tenn., company DigiTrax will soon unveil its Karaoke Cloud, giving KJs access to about 60,000 tracks for $199 a month. But on his blog, Avis says this model will only make sense for high-end, high-volume KJs. “The more nights you have and the higher your wage,” Avis says, “the easier it is to absorb the cost. It is more valuable on months where a bunch of new, desirable music gets released and much less valuable in months where music sucks eggs.” Despite all the setbacks, Slep says he’s working on negotiating licenses that will allow him to sell hard drives directly to hosts. Though he won’t be able to offer the prices a pirate reseller like Marsten can, he believes it’s a step in the right direction. “Pay me for what you’ve been earning money on,” Slep says. “And if you can’t do it legitimately or your bar can’t afford to do it legitimately, then don’t do it, or you’re going to pay more in the long run.” E music@seattleweekly.com

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reviews»Our Take on Every Local Release*

It’s August 2012, and Seattle Sounds Like . . .

DYLAN PRIEST

LOCAL RELEASES AAIIEE, See You in Seattle (out now, self-

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

released, facebook.com/aaiieetheband): Making a garage-rock concept album about the 1962 World’s Fair is a lot like painting the Space Needle a garish shade of orange: a bad idea in theory, a worse one in practice.

ANDREW GOSPE

The Bears Upstairs, The Bears Upstairs (out

now, self-released, thebearsupstairs.com): Sometimes there’s nothing better than a jumping frog named Stan or a whimsical ballad about a “Caterpillar in a Cocoon.” Safe for the family, this EP is fun, jolly, and great for children. JOE WILLIAMS

Jordan Biggs, Brooklyn (out now, selfreleased, reverbnation.com/jordanbiggs): Singer/songwriter Biggs pens safe adultcontemporary tunes that, combined with a flaccid backing band, could be Matchbox 20 B-sides circa ’96. AG (Sat., Aug. 4, Neumos) Black Nite Crash, Drawn Out Days (out now,

Neon Sigh, blacknitecrash.com): Equal parts ’90s alt-rock and contemporary indie rock (is there even a difference anymore?) a la The Big Pink. These guys pull it off with charm. CHRIS KORNELIS (Fri., Aug. 11, Sunset Tavern)

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bloodshot Barrels, Bloodshot Barrels (out

now, self-released, bloodshotbarrels.com): With songs like opener “Acid Tongue Generator” and lyrics (on “Death Head”) like “Licking into thinking/And the licking leads to thinking twice,” these tunes are thrashed-up, death-soaked gold. With lightning-powered time changes and John Powers’ made-formetal vocals, the musicality rocks hard in a Rob Zombie/Pantera kind of way. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT (Sat., Aug. 25, Studio Seven) Blue Star Creeper, Climbing Down From

the Moon (out now, Hammer and Anvil, facebook.com/BlueStarCreeper): This band’s first full-length album feels more mellow than explosive, but lead guitarist Kelly Blanchard busts out some pretty epic guitar solos. Songs about the mysteries of the universe (“Clues”) fit the group’s psychedelic-rock sound, while an electric cello adds an element of folk. SARAH ELSON (Sun., Aug. 5, The Upstairs) Crown Hill , Crown Hill (out now, self-

released, facebook.com/crownhillband): This folk-rock album has a urban feel, with electric guitars and country rhythms. Pop-inspired vocals and catchy melodies make it enjoyable yet slightly forgettable easy listening. ALLISON THOMASSEAU (Thurs., Aug. 16, Columbia City Theater)

Dave Matthews Band, “Mercy” (out now, RCA, davematthewsband.com): The Wallingford songwriter spikes the first single from his forthcoming album, Away From the World, with witless platitudes sure to inspire Facebook natives for four minutes and 35 seconds. CK (Aug. 31–Sept. 2, The Gorge) Fast Arrow, Alibi (out now, self-released,

fastarrow.bandcamp.com): Having met in an audio-engineering class, this synth-pop duo’s production abilities are abundantly clear. The songwriting, however, lacks the hooks to keep up. AG (Fri., Aug. 10, The Josephine)

The Flavr Blue, Pisces (out now, self-

released, theflavrblue.com): Lace Cadence, Parker Joe (of State of the Artist), and Hollis (of Canary Sing) drop their inhibitions and dive into down-tempo vocal trance like pros rather than like the crossover hip-hop/R&B artists they are. Even when the lyrical content is overly light (as on “F x F”), the music is inescapably pleasant, and virtually the whole album has a get-carried-away-to-a-sunnyplace quality. TODD HAMM (Sat., Aug. 4, Barboza)

Yeah, every release

Hounds of the Wild Hunt’s El Mago is out now. Foreign Friends, Measurements (out now,

self-released, foreignfriends.bandcamp.com): This electronic group never quite comes into its own sound on its debut EP, but it knows how to dynamically synthesize its electropop influences, from New Order to M83. AG (Thurs., Aug. 23, Comet Tavern)

Fort Union, Fort Union (out now, selfreleased, fortunion.bandcamp.com): Self-dubbed “a refreshing departure from Seattle’s ‘guy with a guitar’ music scene,” this three-piece actually lives up to its own hype with hybrid pop-ambient-acoustic tunes that range from “No More Executions,” an infectious pop anthem that’s part Shins, part Stealers Wheel, to “Solstice Day Parade,” which hits like a Fences track on acid. GE

Good Co, Electro Swing for the Masses (8/3,

self-released, soundcloud.com/good comusic): Good Co pairs classic swing

*In each issue, we review every release from local bands and labels scheduled for the coming month. We fully expect a few releases to slip through the cracks. So each issue will also include anything we missed in previous issues, or that had been released in the interim. Send releases and reminders to reverbreviews@seattleweekly.com.

sounds, such as saxophones and trumpets, with electronic beats pulsing in the background. It misses the mark and comes off as inconsistent instead of unique. AT Green Pajamas, Death by Misadventure (out now, Green Monkey Records, thegreen pajamas.net): This LP is the psychedelic pop band’s 30th release, a remarkable feat, and its brightest spots are the lusher arrangements which feature strings and horns. The album’s closer, “Carrie,” brings to mind the band’s mid-’80s minor hit “Kim the Waitress,” which was covered by both Material Issue and Sister Psychic. DAVE LAKE Guns of Barisal , Westinghoused (out now, self-released, gunsofbarisal.bandcamp.com): The whirlwind of electric guitars and percolating drums on this instrumental metal trio’s first LP is similar to that of Swarming Hordes, another local metal band that forgoes lyrics and focuses on thrashing instrumentals instead. With quick time changes and wailing guitars, this group rocks hard enough to start a mosh pit at any show. SE The Harmonica Pocket, Apple Apple

(8/14, Goldfish in Your Cocktail Music, harmonicapocket.com): These indie-acoustic children’s songs have an international feel, mixing in harmonicas, reggae beats, and Spanish-inspired melodies. Adult ears will enjoy the happy-go-lucky vibe—if you can get over lyrics about counting apples and a superhero named Diaperman. AT (Thurs., Aug. 16, Queen Anne Farmers Market)

Hounds of the Wild Hunt, El Mago (out now, self-released, houndsof thewildhunt.com): The dudes from the

Whore Moans changed their name to issue this stylistically diverse debut filled with soul, surf, punk rock, and more, held together by the expressive vocals of singer/guitarist Jonathan Henningson. The album’s beersoaked, Westerbergian jam “Ragged All Week” is the haggard anthem of 2012. DL (Fri., Aug. 3, Columbia City Theater)

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Indijinis, The Kill Zone 102.6 (out now,

self-released, facebook.com/indijinis): Serviceable gangsta hip-hop that includes one of the strangest boasts you’ll hear all year: “Indijinis is sick/Like The Chronicles of Riddick.” Anytime you can compare yourself to a middling 2004 sci-fi film starring Vin Diesel, you have to. AG

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JAR, Humans (out now, self-released,

facebook.com/jarofrain): Packing equal parts angst, heart, and technical prowess, Humans is a stunning release by a three-piece collectively younger than Ozzy Osbourne. No, it’s not perfect, but it’s a huge step forward for these up-and-comers. JW

Key Nyata , Two Phonkey (out now, selfreleased, freshselects.bandcamp.com) Garfield High’s Key Nyata continues his goth-rap lyricism here over vintage-sounding West Coast (and mainly self-produced) beats. The screwed-down pitching drags cross the line of overuse, but if you’re able to look past that, this is a highly listenable, mainly forward-leaning offering. TH

Kid Smpl , Escape Pod (out now, Hush Hush, kidsmpl.com): Four tracks and one remix of floating, aqueous synth ambience, deep muffled beats, and echoing vocal

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

* ERIK BLOOD, Touch Screens (8/7, self-released, erikblood.com)

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You may not hear a more perfect-sounding album come out of Seattle all year. Producer and recording engineer of choice for local lights ranging from outre hip-hop savants Shabazz Palaces to rootsy rockers the Moondoggies, Erik Blood has long had the Seattle music scene pulling for him to make something like his own masterpiece—Touch Screens finally feels like he’s done it. It’s an incredibly lush album, loaded—but never overloaded or unbalanced—with space-bound synthesizers, thick and propulsive rhythm sections, and not just walls of guitars but also curtains, carpets, and mod lounge furniture of the stuff. Blood’s sweet singing and sharp songwriting are equal to such luxuriant treatment, whether he’s airing out his old powerpop chops on the glossy, sighing “Share Your Love,” drifting out on the floating album closer “Sapphire Light Climax,” or, most exciting of all, digging into the deep-hypnotic, motorik-muscled grooves of “Amputee” or “Today’s Lover.” An outstanding album. ERIC GRANDY

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From the onset, the Physics were a level-headed rap trio that was intensely concerned with arranging and polishing their material to a professional standard. Two stellar EPs and three LPs in, they’ve only strengthened their resolve. Tomorrow People has a sprinkling of guests—Jake One, OCnotes, Jarv Dee, Grynch, Mario, and Crystal Sweet, all of whom factor in perfectly—but the clearest voices are their own: Justo’s richly bass-lined beats; the highly referential neighborhood raps of brothers Thig and Monk. There aren’t down moments—though a song like “Last Dollar” kind of blends in with the scenery, it only proves that the scenery is beautiful and easy listening; while Thig’s solitary tale of love lost on the Bean One-produced “The Goodbye” is a departure in tone, it works. TP doesn’t pack a whole lot of radio-style singles, but it doesn’t get much better for the guys than tracks like “Drink With You” and “So Funky.” When the Physics are on, they’re on fire. TODD HAMM (Sat., Aug. 25, Neumos)

» FROM PAGE 13 textures, all more than a little reminiscent of Burial’s radical reconfigurations of dubstep and R&B. EG Tim “Too Slim” Langford, Broken Halo (out now, Underworld Records, tooslim.org): Sunday-morning blues from a singer/guitarist who sounds a whole lot like Lyle Lovett. CK (Wed., Sept. 19, Triple Door Musicquarium) Locomotives, Moving Machines (out now, self-released, facebook.com/locomotivesmusic): It’s rare when a band as young as this (barely three months old) puts so much raw talent and heart into its debut release. Moving Machine is a spectacular grab bag of earnest, psychedelic folk. JW Long Distance Poison, Signals to a Habitable Zone (out now, Fin Records, finrecords.com): Two 20-minute tracks of hypnotic analog oscillations, drones, melodies, and effects, designed to be beamed into space in search of intelligent life as part of the 50th anniversary of the Seattle World’s Fair (seriously). EG

Cahalen Morrison & Eli West, Our

Lady of the Tall Trees (9/4, self-released, cahalenandeli.com): This fine bluegrass duo shrewdly avoids succumbing to the annoying

brand of old-tyme minstrelsy that currently plagues many a Northwest folk act. The album sounds like Cat Stevens backed by Union Station. It’ll make you want to kick off your shoes, roll up your jeans, and dance in a creek. MIKE SEELY (Wed., Aug. 29, Triple Door) Zoe Muth, Old Gold (out now, Signature Sounds, zoemuth.com): Unlike Muth’s first two full-length releases—rich with up-tempo honkytonk sounds and her smooth, lilting croon—this six-track mini-album, mostly covers, is far mellower, shelving the singer’s sprightly country style for a folksier take on artists like John Prine, Anna McGarrigle, and Dock Boggs. GE Nu Era, “Marvelous” (out now, self-released,

nueramusic.bandcamp.com): The Andrew Savoie–crafted beat is hard-edged and could perhaps be useful in the right hands, but the vocal stylings early in the song, and the lyrics in general, come off too much like an M.O.P. impersonation. TH

People Bomb, East Korea (out now, Fin Records, facebook.com/peoplebomb): This group of teenagers from Kirkland is pretty great for a high-school band, particularly their taste in music; their two-song release references both Devo and the Dead Kennedys. They haven’t gotten there yet, but these kids are going places. DL

Paul Lynde Fan Club, Killer Lilies (out now, self released, cdbaby.com/cd/plfc2): Menacing, half-asleep-and-don’t-wake-me-up vocals; slip-and-slide guitars; static and found sound; words which astutely pick apart, say, the frays of Independence Day. They haven’t focused intently on one target yet, but expect an explosion as soon as they do. ANDREW HAMLIN Poor Moon, Poor Moon (8/28, Sub Pop, subpop.

com): A more nuanced effort than this Fleet Foxes offshoot’s debut EP. But it’s also scattered. This is a talented bunch still searching for the best application of its pluses. CK (Mon., Aug. 27, Easy Street, Queen Anne)

Prism Tats, “Death or Fame” (out now, self-released, prismtats.bandcamp. com): The clangorous first offering from ex– Koko and the Sweetmeats frontman Garett van der Spek’s new project is deliciously minimal, composed of—and needing nothing more than—a series of metallic guitar riffs and van der Spek’s keening, highly memorable vocals. ERIN K. THOMPSON

Liz Rognes, Topographies (out now, Deep Sea

Productions, lizrognes.com): This Spokane songstress’ lilting, articulate soprano and impressive range are just as captivating on her second full-length album. Jazz influences spice up the earnest ballads and old-time instrumentation that keep it indie-folk. SE (Tues., Aug. 14, High Dive)

Sailor Mouth , Fair Winds (out now, selfreleased, sailormouthoff.bandcamp.com): The sounds of Sabbath, early Soundgarden, and the Melvins loom large on this Seattle band’s debut, though singer Kale Tegman’s vocals are less expressive than that of those bands’ frontmen; he opts instead for a grungy growl that occasionally sounds sort of Danzig-ish. DL

Screens, “Maia” (out now, self-

released, oceantone.com/screens): The second single released by this new, toughto-categorize West Seattle band eases into a trippy bossa-nova suit but doesn’t get carried away in the euphoric possibilities. Instead, it retains a shadowy element (due mainly to Allison Tulloss’ deadpan semi-whisper) to preserve an interesting contrast. TH (Wed., Aug. 8, Nectar)

Screens, “Netherlandia” (out now,

self-released, oceantone.com/screens): Intelligently written and layered to perfection, this relaxed future-pop number is melodically pleasing yet delightfully experimental. TH (Wed., Aug. 8, Nectar)

Spaceneedles, Olive Towers (out

now, self-released, spaceneedlesband. com): This Seattle four-piece arrives with five howling, grooving rock songs in the raw, punk-bellowing tradition of Spencer Moody et al., and/but with some epic scope and serious (broken) heart. EG

Stephanie, “Cell 44” (out now,

Couple Skate, facebook.com/ Stephanie): The first single from the swirl-rockers’ forthcoming Erik Blood– produced One Glove LP churns with skittering drums, discordant guitars, and sudden tempo changes, but the discernible, danceable hooks break through the noise via keyboard melody and Wil Adams’ operatic vocals. EKT (Sat., Oct. 20, Barboza)

Joshua Stephens & the Girls from Ipanema , The World Was Made for

Men (out now, self-released, girlsfrom ipanema.bandcamp.com): Upbeat acousticguitar melodies and ukelele accents work well with lyrics that claim that love conquers all, even if it hurts sometimes. Their lo-fi sound is rough around the edges and complemented by the singer’s gravelly vocals. AT

Suburban Vermin , Danger and Destiny (8/10, self-released, suburbanvermin.com): Six songs of no-frills punk rock with dueling male/female vocals that don’t fall squarely into either Ramones-core or old-school skate-punk territory, but somewhere in between. Bonus points for singer/guitarist Amanda Gamino’s voice sounding a lot like that of Kim Shattuck of the Muffs. DL Sweet Water, “Hey Living”/”Get High

Clover” (out now, Fin Records, finrecords.

com): Sweet Water has put out plenty of fine music during its 20-plus years on the Seattle scene, bridging the gap between grunge and glam. Their latest seven-inch, however, is palpably awful butt-rock. MS (Fri. Aug. 17, The Crocodile) Thurston and Staga , “Rock the Spot

More” (out now, self-released, soundcloud. com/matt-ross-6): Former Bedroom Stompers bandmates, producer Thurston Rockmore and MC Staga Roach come back with a track that drags on a bit long but serves as a nice playground for Roach’s flamboyant style and naturally musical delivery. TH

USF, Universal (8/7, self-released, facebook.com/usftheband): The title track is 10 minutes of pure, blissed-out sample-tone worship over a fluttering house beat; the whole EP is the sweetest, most accomplished electronic chill-out the local duo have made yet. EG

Various artists, What’s Up Seattle mixtape (out now, What’s Up Seattle, soundcloud.com/whatsupseattle): True to its name, a solid and diverse primer on what’s happening in our city’s fertile underground—from Dude York’s fuzzedup power pop to Haunted Horses’ punk drones to Rose Windows’ ’70s vintage soft

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 17

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reviews» » FROM PAGE 15 psych-rock, with a lot of loud indie and punk rock (and a little chillwave and witchhouse) happening in between. EG Virgin, Virgin (out now, self-released, virgin.

bandcamp.com): The slight touch of irony that accompanies naming a ’70s-style cockrock band “Virgin” is far cleverer than any of the monotonous bar-rock tunes featured here. AG (Thurs., Aug. 30, Chop Suey)

The Walkabouts, “Soul Thief” (out now, Fin Records, thewalkabouts.com): Over torrents of pulsating guitar and organ, singer Chris Eckman crafts a menacing ode to escapism, sounding just as grizzled as a frontman should after leading his band for nearly 30 years. AG Western Haunts, Ambassador (out now,

Zephyrs, Order of the Arrow (out now,

Debacle Records, zephyrs.bandcamp. com): This youthful Eastside duo delivers ardent guitar-rock tunes that play like short, heady huffs of air. Some songs make it to three or four minutes, but the zestiest, like the chanty “Oath and Law,” blast in and out in just a minute or so. EKT

LOCAL LABELS’ OUT-OF-TOWN BANDS Abandoned Pools, Sublime Currency (8/28, Tooth & Nail, abandonedpools.com): Though “Unrehearsed” gives the vibe of an ’80s-inspired synth album with an abundance of smiles and electronic drums, “Billion” kicks in like a psychophrenic nod to Trent Reznor and the Social Network soundtrack. JW

self-released, westernhaunts.bandcamp. com): Noisier and more claustrophobic than 2011’s expansive Utøya EP, Ambassador finds Western Haunts turning up the reverb and slapping on more layers of synth and slide guitar. It’s less immediate than its predecessor, but no less interesting. AG

Anchor & Braille, The Quiet Life (out now, Tooth & Nail, anchorbraille.com): The only thing this album is missing is a car to take it somewhere. Over layers of serene harmony and a steady beat, “Find Me” is the soundtrack for grabbing a friend and cruising around anywhere. JW

Western Medicine, In Transit (out now,

Fergus & Geronimo, Funky Was the State of Affairs (8/7, Hardly Art, hardlyart.com): Lo-fi garage rockers overplay their tongue-in-cheek shtick on this unlistenable mess—a shame considering the promise of its predecessor. CK

self-released, western-medicine.com): Any record using a custom fortune-teller (those foldy-paper thingies from fifth grade) as cover art better deliver the goods, and WM’s brand of psychedelic garage rock hits the mark with tracks like “Belly of the Beast,” a spot-on vision of the Sonics fronted by Josh Homme. GE (Thurs., Aug. 9, Sunset Tavern)

The Helio Sequence, “October” (out now, Sub Pop, subpop.com/artists/the_helio_ sequence): Same solid drumming and fluttering, crystal-clear guitar tones you can always expect from this Portland duo, but the reverb-rich vocals for some reason hit a more emotionally resonant note than in much of their merely pleasant stuff. A good sign for forthcoming album Negotiations? EG

ELIOT HAZEL

Niki & the Dove’s Instinct hits August 7.

Wolf Hotel , Good Bye (out now, Members Only, not available online): Packaged inside a 32-page hardback book bound, written, and illustrated by MC Barfly himself, this is hardly your ordinary EP. The former Saturday Knights lyricist’s dark poetry is a sharp contrast to much of his former work, but fits right into project producer Graves’ beats—alternately gloomy and contemplative, and always hard-hitting. TH

Niki & The Dove, Instinct

(8/7, Sub Pop, nikiandthe dove.com): A refreshing standout on the Sub Pop lineup, this Swedish duo, vocalist Malin Dahlström and keyboardist Gustaf Karlöf, create icy-sharp synth-pop with a sexy, edgy sheen. Standouts include the cathartic, beat-heavy “Somebody” and the strikingly plaintive “DJ Ease My Mind.” EKT Nü Sensae, Sundowning (8/7, Suicide Squeeze, facebook.com/nusensae): A Vancouver, B.C., punk trio that digs deep into Hole, Led Zeppelin, and their peers to produce a growling grrrl-rock sound with shards of punk and metal in the mix. EG E

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The Museum, My Only Rescue (8/28, BEC, themuseummusic. com): Ben Richter has one of those voices that make you immediately Google everything he’s ever done. Stalking aside, The Museum offers a fresh take on the guitar-driven pop stylings of the late ’90s. JW

’ r s e h c a e l B

the»month»ahead TUG INN: 9:30 p.m. Sun. & Wed.

On Sunday nights, while most other karaoke venues have tumbleweeds skipping across their vacant stages, West Seattle’s Tug Inn boasts a raucous Friday-night atmosphere. Longtime KJ Christopher Mychael knows how to throw a party. No one unifies a crowd the way he does. And their Wednesdays are just as crazy. 2216 S.W. Orchard St., 768-8852. NOC NOC: 9 p.m. Mon., Aug. 13 & 27.

The best nights to karaoke downtown are the second and fourth Mondays at Noc Noc, where the sensational Rio Ventura hosts an event called “Spooky Karaoke.” Her loyal followers flock to this venue, so get there early if you want to sing more than once, because her rotations have a tendency to explode. 1516 Second Ave., 223-1333.

features a show for each day of the month.

After releasing several wellreceived mixtapes, this Los Angeles rapper’s long1awaited debut album, ihussle, is tentatively scheduled Nipsey Hussle

for later this year. Nectar Lounge, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectarlounge.com. 7 p.m. $20. All ages.

2 HeadCount, a voter-registration nonprofit, on tour Since it’s election season, Ozomatli is bringing

to canvass while concertgoers await the group’s eclectic fusion rock. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $20 adv./$25 DOS.

Poliça.

One of the few survivors of the practiThis Canadian singer/ cally defunct “witch-house” genre (remember songwriter started her career as an actress, 3 13 Salem, anyone?), Chris Dexter Greenspan released the appearing on the Disney Channel and in the Final oOoOO

Alexz Johnson

Our Loving Is Hurting Us EP in April. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. 9 p.m. $10.

Destination horror franchise. Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., 956-8372, theveraproject.org. 7:30 p.m. $11. All ages.

4 Fresh off a month-long European tour, Ford and co. headline the second night of the Columbia

Somewhat uncharacteristically, White recently had hip-hop videographer Hype 14 Williams produce a clip for Blunderbuss single “Freedom

Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside

City Theater’s second-anniversary celebration. Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., 723-0088, columbiacitytheater.com. 9 p.m. $10.

5 released Major, its sophomore album, last month. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416,

Fang Island This Rhode Island art-rock trio

Phosphorescent Matthew Houck’s

folk-rock project specializes in spacious Americana. Tractor Tavern, 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 9 p.m. $12.

Jack White

at 21.” WaMu Theater, 800 Occidental Ave. S., 381-7555, wamutheater.com. 7 p.m. $49.50 adv./$55 DOS. All ages.

Few bands advocate for their country of origin quite 15 like this reggae/Afrobeat group that frequently champiSierra Leone’s Refugee All Stars

ons humanitarian causes in Sierra Leone. Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 8 p.m. $20. All ages.

piece blends alt-country and classic rock. 16 Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., 723-0088,

Sightseer This female-fronted local five-

columbiacitytheater.com. 8 p.m. $8.

This capricious Austin, Texas, In an interview with Rolling Stone, four-piece blends garage rock with psych and fellow Midwesterner Bon Iver called this 7 17 punk. Tractor Tavern, 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, up-and-coming Minneapolis electronic group “the White Denim

tractortavern.com. 9 p.m. $12 adv./$14 DOS.

The latest from Iceland’s most famous post-rockers is the subdued and com8 plex Valtari. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 467-5520, Sigur Rós

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

out our comprehensive music calendar, which

AUGUST

thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $10. All ages.

start planning your upcoming nights out, check

GRAHAM TOLBERT

KARAOKE PICKS

Living in the city equals options. Before you

stgpresents.org. 8 p.m. $45. All ages.

More than eight years after “Take Me Out” launched these Scots 9 to indie stardom, they plan to release a yet-untitled Franz Ferdinand

fourth album this year. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $31.50 adv./$33.50 DOS. All ages.

Poliça

best band I’ve ever heard.” Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $15. After putting out an EP and a few singles, this local garage-rock quar18 tet will release its full-length debut Scarlet Fever at this Fox and the Law

show. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 10 p.m. $8.

Afropop group will be joined by multi19 instrumentalist Jacob Mafuleni and dancer Martha Ruzivo This Seattle-based Zimbabwean

Thom at this show. Royal Room, 5000 Rainier Ave. S., 906-9920, theroyalroomseattle.com. 7:30 p.m. Free.

music duo is set to release Anastasis, its first 10 new album since 1996. Marymoor Park, 6046 W. Lake 20 Purveyors of a particularly thrashy Sammamish Parkway N.E., Redmond, 628-0888, variety of goth music, this trio’s Facebook page Dead Can Dance This Australian world-

concertsatmarymoor.com. 7 p.m. $49–$99. All ages.

A recent New York Times article claimed that Minaj, touring behind her 11 second album, might be the most influential female Nicki Minaj

rapper of all time. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 467-5520, stgpresents.org. 8 p.m. $42–$72. All ages.

This recently formed local electro-rock group is finishing 12 work on its debut album, Remable. Chop Suey, PonyHomie

1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey. com. 8 p.m. $7.

The Funeral and the Twilight

simply describes its sound as “very dark and negative rock.” Funhouse, 206 Fifth Ave. N., 374-8400, thefunhouseseattle.com. 9:30 p.m. $5.

The Cult In one of the stranger collabora-

tions of this British group’s 30-year career, a mashup with Flo Rida of its 1985 hit “She Sells Sanctuary” was featured in a Super Bowl ad for Budweiser. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 784-4849, stgpresents. org. 8 p.m. $38.50. All ages. genre-hopping proelectronic, and 22 duction duo’s mix ofThiship-hop, The Very Best

traditional Malawian music is further refined on last month’s MTMTMK. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $15. All ages. Combining elements of progressive and psychedelic music with a fantastic 23 name for a metal band, this group’s latest was Lesbian

2010’s Stratospheria Cubensis. Barboza, 925 E. Pike, 709-9951, thebarboza.com. 8 p.m. $8.

Coming off the June release of sophomore album Bossalona, 24 this local hip-hop group headlines the summer’s final Fresh Espresso

installment of KEXP’s Concerts at the Mural. Mural Amphitheatre, 305 Harrison St., 684-7200, seattlecenter.com. 5:30 p.m. Free. All ages. Following last summer’s critically lauded Love Is a Business, this 25 South End hip-hop crew will release Tomorrow The Physics

People at this show. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $12.

After all these years, ZZ Top apparently hasn’t lost its sense of humor: “I Gotsta 26 Get Paid,” the first single from their new Rick Rubin– ZZ Top

produced LP, was featured in an ad campaign for Jeremiah Weed cola and appears on the soundtrack of Battleship. Snoqualmie Casino, 37500 S.E. North Bend Way, 425-888-1234, snocasino.com. 7 p.m. $49–$179.

When not on tour, these Michigan hard-rockers live together in a 27 pre–Civil War farmhouse. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., Wayland

632-0212, highdiveseattle.com. 8 p.m. $6.

This influential Swedish punk band has reunited to tour for the first time in 14 years. 28 Showbox SoDo, 1700 First Ave. S., 652-0444, showbox Refused

online.com. 6:30 p.m. $35 adv./$40 DOS. All ages.

This Brooklynby-way-of-Seattle indie band has twice as 29 many members (six) as definite articles in its name The The The Thunder

(three). High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, highdive seattle.com. 8 p.m. $6.

The New York experimental rockers are set to release Fragrant World, 30 their third album, August 20. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. Yeasayer

45th St., 784-4849, stgpresents.org. 8 p.m. $30. All ages. After reforming in 2010, this veteran Seattle punk band plans to record an 31 album of new material later this year. Sunset Tavern, The Cops

5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 10 p.m. $8. E

TIM’S TAVERN: 9 p.m. Tues.–Sat.

It will be very interesting to see if the Rickshaw can reclaim their reputation as one of the best karaoke bars in town when they reopen. Tim’s Tavern, just two blocks away, went from two to five nights a week after Rickshaw’s kitchen burnt down in March, and has fast become the premier spot to sing in Greenwood, a neighborhood that already had four other well-established venues.

602 N. 105th St., 789-9005. COLUMBIA CITY THEATER: 9 p.m. Wed.

Unlike the north end and West Seattle, which seem to average two karaoke venues per square mile on any given night, the south side’s venues are far more dispersed. Wednesday nights at Columbia City Theater’s Bourbon Bar are among the few times during the week a starving crooner can get some relief down there. 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009. THE SPECTATOR: 9 p.m. Thurs.–Sun.

If you ask anyone in the know who has the best song selection around, crooners and KJs alike will advise you to head to The Spectator in Lower Queen Anne and check out Baby Ketten’s book. There are songs in it (from artists new and old and from every genre) you will never find anywhere else.

529 Queen Anne Ave. N., 599-4263.

Rock star Baby Van Beezly celebrated her first anniversary at The Attic last month. Madison Park isn’t exactly the easiest place to get to, but if I had my choice to sing anywhere on a Friday night, without question it would be here. She is the most captivating host in town. 4226 E. Madison St., 323-3131. HAMBURGER HARRY’S: 9 p.m. Sat.

A couple of blocks from all the Saturdaynight action on Ballard Avenue is this unassuming Market Street venue, which happens to have the most lovable host around, Fehrone Williams (aka DJ Fehronemo). He’s an amazing singer with a gracious personality that makes you just want to give him a big hug every time you see him. 2409 N.W. Market St., 297-8000. E

Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

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Reve r b • Seat tle weekly • AU GU ST 1−7, 2012

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best of seattle 2012

Food & Drink

the best cup of Joe in town is at the corner Starbucks. Proof is just a ferry ride away in DOWNTOWN BREMERTON, where the local caffeine-pushers have yet to master the arts of brewing fresh, hot drip coffee during every business hour and accommodating their customers with things like Wi-Fi. (I was once asked to sign a release to gain access to the waves at one local shop; to borrow a line from Mitch Hedberg, “We do not need to bring ink and paper into this.”) When it was announced that Starbucks was coming to downtown Bremerton, it was front-page news. To local coffee drinkers, it still is. CHRIS KORNELIS 900 N. Callow Ave., 360-792-9149

Best Steakhouse

The METROpOliTaN GRill’s grasp of the steakhouse genre is so complete that I avoided it for months, guessing from the menu and decor that it was an outpost of a national chain I didn’t know. It seemed unlikely that a restaurant without a massive R&D department would nail French onion soup, Caesar salad, creamed spinach, and a dry-aged prime long-bone rib-eye—let alone think to serve it. But the Met is indeed homegrown, as is its considerable wine talent: Sommelier Thomas Price was recently named a master sommelier, meaning he’s one of the top 160 wine professionals in the world. HANNA RASKIN 820 Second Ave., 6243287, themetropolitangrill.com

Best Sushi

Ave. N.W., 420-3737, oshansushi.com

Best Taquería

From the sidewalk, it doesn’t even look like there’s a restaurant inside la CONaSUpO MaRKET. Situated on a stretch of Greenwood Avenue next door to a run-of-the-mill Mexican restaurant and another Latino grocery store, it appears to be just a regular old tienda that peddles sundry goods and prepaid calling cards. But way in the back, beyond the shelves, a little lunch counter does booming business with the construction-worker/day-laborer crowd. The draw is tacos heaped with mounds of pulled pork (carnitas) and grilled beef (asada), along

8532 Greenwood Ave. N., 782-0533

Best Thai Restaurant

You can tell a lot about a Thai place from its pad thai—a dish too many of the city’s restaurants have “dumbed down” for American palates. May THai, however, executes authentic Thai cooking in a gorgeous space built out of a century-old teak house imported piece by piece from overseas. You won’t find a trace of that overly sweet, oily, so-called Thai cuisine here. This pad thai is prepared tableside, as an upscale steakhouse would prepare a salad. Golden-brown noodles are served in a purple banana blossom, and then sugar and various spices are added according to your flavor preference. Most of the restaurant’s offerings—including its lovely red curry (try it with the roasted duck breast) and swimming rama—are made from scratch inhouse. May Thai costs a few dollars more per plate than its peers, but in this case you truly do get what you pay for. ERIKA HOBART 1612 N. 45th St., 675-0037, maythaiseattle.com

Best Vegan Restaurant

Any restaurant that can unify omnivores and vegetarians alike through a dish called “Mac ’n’ Yease” is doing something right. plUM BiSTRO, with dishes like smoky charred kale, the jerk-spiced Crazy Jamaican Tofu Burger, and its legendary alchemy of elbow macaroni, nutritional yeast, sunflower oil, and red pepper, sets an inspired and flavorful table for all. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT 1429 12th Ave., 838-5333, plumbistro.com

Best Vegetarian Restaurant

The vegetarian institution that is CaFE FlORa has received its share of accolades through the years. Now in its 20th, the restaurant remains deserving of them all. Through relationships with local proprietors like Theo Chocolate and Stiebrs Farms, Flora’s commitment to keeping things local is as appealing as its cuisine, which continues to evolve based on its guests’ interests and needs: Over time the restaurant has incorporated vegan and gluten-free options, a full bar, brunch, and a happy hour, all while offering long-standing menu favorites like Oaxaca tacos and the portobello Wellington. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT 2901 E. Madison St., 325-9100, cafeflora.com

Best Vietnamese Restaurant

Ba BaR is likely the only Vietnamese restaurant around where Arcade Fire blasts

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Don’t let the name deceive you. Although it may sound more like an Irish pub than a Japanese restaurant, O’SHaN (like “ocean,” get it?) serves sushi that is simply divine. A small, family-owned joint with the stately patriarch expertly wielding a blade behind the bar, O’shan’s menu features both traditional fare and modern rolls. The place excels at elegant classics, such as the negi-toro roll, chopped fatty tuna blended with scallions. Fish lovers will savor the decadent flavor of sake beni nigiri: two fat slices of wild, inseason sockeye salmon resting atop twin pillows of perfectly seasoned rice. The beauty of O’shan’s uncomplicated combinations—like cucumber and fuji apple or salt-cured mackerel with a sprinkling of fresh ginger and shiso leaf—is reflected in the restaurant’s decor: a minimalist painting of a green sea and a blue sky that towers over the large table in the corner. And while it doesn’t serve Guinness, big bottles of Sapporo are available to wash down all that sashimi. KEEGAN HAMILTON 5809 24th

with a broad selection of gigantic quesadillas nearly the size of the colorful piñatas dangling above the dining area. The tacos are relatively pricey ($4–$5, depending on the meat), but the portions are so generous it’s almost like getting two for the price of one. On weekends the kitchen cooks a special barbecued lamb and a consomme de barbacoa, a soup made with the drippings, that attracts more families than hungry men on their lunch breaks. Sadly, beer isn’t available, but consider leaving an offering at the Virgin Mary shrine and pray the place gets its liquor license—that might be the only thing that could make it better. KEEGAN HAMILTON

BEST BOOKSTORES

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Living Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberge PhD The Five Keys to Mindful Communication by Susan G. Chapman The Creativity Book by Eric Maisel, PhD Homeopathy for Today's World by Dr. R. Sankaran Find Your Spirit Animals by David Carson

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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BEST PSYCHIC READINGS DAILY!

Age of Miracles by Karen Walker

A coming-of-age story in a world coming to an end, this debut novel is moving and somber, but never despairing. It’s also free of the violence and mayhem of many novels set in the near future; the world is ending not with a bang, but with a whimper. How would you organize your life if everything around you was changing, maybe ending? This is a beautifully written book, simple but never simplistic, which will leave you with lots to think about.

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Staff Picks

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R Staff Picks The Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter The Devil All The Time by Donald Ray Pollock Rawhide Down by Del Quintin Wilber Triptych by J. M. Frey The Information by James Gleick

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Best Winemaker

RON IRVINE of Vashon Winery may be the most approachable winemaker on the planet. Step into his tasting room—a charming rustic barn that also serves as his winemaking facility—and you’re just as likely to leave with a cutting of chasselas (the world’s oldest grape varietal) as you are slightly buzzed from his stand-up vino. Toss a bit of wine-speak into the conversation and Irvine will artfully reroute it so as not to exclude any taster within ear’s reach, but linger after those drinkers leave and he’ll be sure to answer your winespecific questions. He’s also one of the only vintners around to make pinot noir from grapes grown right on Vashon, making those bottles as Seattle-centric as they get in the Puget Sound AVA. Those wines are good—but the lovely Tramp Harbor Red blend is as crowd-pleasing and versatile as his approach to an often-stuffy industry. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT 10317 S.W. 156th St.,

What PETE’S WINE SHOP lacks in square footage, it compensates for in price, selection, service, and atmosphere. Without the Costco-y feel of a wine warehouse, Pete’s draws you into a small labyrinth of densely packed aisles with every kind of vino imaginable. As at any wine store, imported bottles and famous labels can be pricey, but just by browsing its easy-to-navigate website, you can snatch up specials when they roll in— and half or full cases, mixed or otherwise, are always 10 percent off. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

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Best Wine Store

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THE ELLIOTT BAY BOOK COMPANY

from the speakers as an impeccably dressed waiter describes the $10 cocktail special. Most offer massive, dirt-cheap bowls of pho and/or hulking banh mi sandwiches, and there’s a lot to love about that. But while Pho Bac and the Than Brothers empire have their place and time, every now and then it pays to class things up a bit. Offal can still be found on Ba Bar’s Saigon street-food-inspired menu, but so can soups made with duck-leg confit, oxtail, and even escargot. With relatively reasonable prices (only one entrée, the steak frites, costs more than $15), a fun vibe (check out Kung Fu movie night on Fridays after dinner), and some seriously crafty cocktails, the Capitol Hill eatery is the ideal upscale alternative to typical hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese restaurants. KEEGAN HAMILTON 550

Vashon Island, 567-0055, vashonwinery.com

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Best Wings

There’s no shortage of great Asianinfluenced wings around Seattle, including the garlicky Chinese version at Roxbury Lanes, the pan-fried Korean at Cockatoo’s, and the sticky-sweet Cambodian at Phnom Penh Noodle House. Yet the next generation of Pacific-leaning wing purveyors is best represented by CHINO’S, which serves what Seattleites might shorthand as a Pok Pok wing. The fish-sauce wings are lip-stingingly salty, making them an ideal cocktail snack. HANNA RASKIN 1024 E. Pike St., 860-4238,

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Best Bank

(

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Banks have gotten a bad name during the Great Recession, and for good reason. Dishonesty and deception, an absence of ethical and moral standards, corporate malfeasance and arrogance, unconscionable greed and outright criminality—take a bow, Chase; step right up, BofA. WaMu? Don’t even go there. But not all banks are bad. UMPQUA is a regional bank founded 59 years ago in Canyonville, Oregon, that now operates in Washington, northern California, and Nevada. It leapt into the Puget Sound market in 2010 by buying up two failed banks, Tacoma’s Rainier Pacific and Seattle’s Evergreen, providing entry to a huge market jolted by WaMu’s implosion two years earlier. In such a competitive field, Umpqua had to do something to differentiate itself. What sets it apart is an all-in commitment to customer and community service, the likes of which haven’t existed in this market and may not anywhere else. Umpqua is reinventing the bank as a social gathering place, somewhere to stop, sit, linger; a place you’d go even if you didn’t have any banking to do. It’s about so much more than the transaction here—it’s the antithesis of those sterile, distant, even daunting institutions where you wait in line, conduct your business, and leave. Think Starbucks, with free coffee and much better music. (XTC? Beth Orton? Big Star? In a bank?) You’ve got kids? Umpqua has toys, games, books, even ice cream. It’s a true community bank, with a corporate philosophy of reinvesting in the neighborhoods where its stores (not branches) are located. MICHAEL MAHONEY

)

umpquabank.com

staff picks Staff Picks

Best Bike Shop

Hairstylists may have to tolerate clients droning on about bad boyfriends and office rivalries, but bike-shop staffers are the ultimate masters of the art of listening patiently. Although they frequently don’t care about your plans to shave two ounces from your stem or your carbo-loading strategy for an upcoming race, the best wrenches never show it. Few mechanics are kinder and more tactful than those in the employ of MONTLAKE BIKE SHOP, an outfit that embodies the spirit of cycling. And if you don’t care about your stem or racing either, Montlake’s just as handy: Staffers know the bikes they’re selling, and encourage lengthy test rides. HANNA RASKIN

2223 24th Ave. E., 329-7333, montlakebike.com

Best Antiques Store

Mad Men debuted in 2007, suddenly making mid-century modernism a white-hot trend in the furniture and design market. But savvy Seattle shoppers have been going to CHARTREUSE since long before that. Whether you’re furnishing a new SLU

rental or a West Seattle split-level, the appropriately clean lines of Eames and Wegner can be found here for considerably fewer bucks than new. The scuffs, scratches, and coffee rings add character! Besides, a little wood refinishing can be a character-building experience ( just

remember: plenty of ventilation). Long after Don Draper is retired and off the air, his chaises longues and end tables will still look swell in your home—even if (gasp!) you’ve moved to Bellevue by then. BRIAN MILLER 2609 First Ave., 328-4844, modchartreuse.com

A few tears were shed when Borders declared bankruptcy and closed its doors last year, but for me the real local tragedy came with the demise of BARNES & NOBLE at U Village, now replaced with a home-furnishings store. With its escalators and in-house Starbucks, huge magazine section and friendly staff, this was the best B&N in the city. Still, the chain survives at Pacific Place, Westwood Village, Northgate, and in Bellevue (the latter in an old bowling alley with a gracefully hooped roof ). If, like many harried shoppers, you need to drive and run multiple errands from one parking space, these four retail locations allow you to plunk down your bags, rest your weary legs, and read for a while. B&N may be less efficient than Amazon and Kindle, but sometimes the impulse purchase of a greeting card or magazine can feel like a small

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Best Bookstore Chain

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MON - FRI: 10AM TO 6PM SUNDAY: 12PM TO 5PM 206.441.9643 92 STEWART ST. SEATTLE, WA 98101 5000 Sq. Ft. of Merchandise Spanning the 1880'S - 1980S. Fine & Costume Jewelry, Vintage Clothing, Home Decor, Furniture, Collectibles, Records, Cameras & Prop Rentals.

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Best Antique Store Best of Seattle edit pick 2011

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Three auctions every month

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best of seattle 2012

Goods & Services

human victory against the Internet. And a nice fuck-you to Jeff Bezos. brian miller Various locations, barnesandnoble.com

Best Independent Bookstore

There are, apparently, people who are content just to eat food, rather than photograph, write, and blog about it. But Seattle’s home to lots of hungry geeks who feel otherwise, and Book Larder’s making sure they always have something to read. In addition to stocking an excellent selection of cookbooks and food essays, the cozy Fremont shop has become a must-stop on every visiting food author’s itinerary, making Book Larder the Pacific Northwest’s nearest thing to a culinary salon. Hanna raSKin 4252 Fremont Ave. N., 397-4271, booklarder.com

Best Used Bookstore

These are, everyone knows, unstable times for the book biz. National chains have folded, and even the beloved Elliott Bay Book Co. uprooted itself. But you can still count on Magus Books, just off The Ave, which watches the years go by unchanged. (It’s been the Magus since ’78, operated under other names before that, and was born in the ’30s as a post office.) Pascal, Kierkegaard, Foucault, and Isaiah Berlin in the window function as its mission statement, without a celebrity memoir in sight—though some can be found inside, as can practically everything else in the shop’s eight crammed-to-capacity aisles: tons of boxed deluxe editions; the city’s best selection of used music scores and sheet music; the correspondence of William James in 12 volumes ($400), among many other complete editions. A little musty, a little creaky, nowhere else offers such addictive browsing in such a concentrated space. Gavin borcHert 1408 N.E. 42nd St., 633-1800,

magusbooksseattle.com

Best CD/Record Store

sTarBuCks? Hey, why the hell not! They stock all the records you love. They’ve got the Fleet Foxes, the Spoon, the Fiona Apple, and the Jack White. And in some communities, they’re the only alternative to the big boxes for physical music. cHriS KorneliS Every corner. Literally every one.

You think $1.29 is too much for an mp3? How about $2 for a CD? sILVer PLaTTers’ used-CD racks look like your high-school record collection—regardless of when you graduated. They’re full of everything from James Taylor and the Velvet Underground to the Wallflowers and Counting Crows. If you’re feeling ‘90s nostalgia—or just really want to relive “One Headlight” (and you should)—the cheapest way to legally bulk up your cache is a trip to this shop in Lower Queen Anne. cHriS KorneliS 701 Fifth Ave. N., 283-3472, silverplatters.com

Best Place to Buy Vinyl

Vinyl may have become the preferred music format for audiophiles, but it isn’t winning prizes for affordability. That’s why the $1 bins at easY sTreeT WesT seaTTLe, many hand-selected by tastemaking music

4559 California Ave. S.W., 938-3279, easystreet online.com

Best Comic-Book Store

From regional artists like Ellen Forney and Nikki McClure to beloved cult figures like Edward Gorey and alternative cartoonist Daniel Clowes, FaNTagraPHICs elevates comic books, graphic novels, and the illustrators who create them to their proper place in the art world. With current and vintage titles at times political, whimsical, or just downright dirty, this isn’t some geeky, grimy comic book store—it’s a gallery, bookshop, and thriving arts community all in one. GWenDolYn elliott 3667 First Ave. S., 467-4940,

fantagraphics.com

Best Game Shop

Those of you under 40 may not recall childhood Sunday afternoons spent playing Billionaire or Masterpiece sprawled on the family room’s shag carpeting (or family rooms or shag carpeting, for that matter), but if you do, I’m happy to report the board game is not dead. In fact, it seems to be not only alive but more fecund than ever at BLue HIgHWaY gaMes at the top of Queen Anne Hill. It stocks, of course, all the old Parker Brothers classics—Clue, Sorry, Monopoly—plus several localized Monopoly variants, like “Ballardopoly” (eye-roll). But the trend these days seems to be bookshelf-style roleplaying games, with themes covering all of recorded history, every world culture, and a good deal of the future. There’s a shelf of Dungeons and Dragons paraphernalia, of course, but also one of Killer Bunnies. There are playing cards, jigsaw puzzles, a display case filled with gemlike dice, and colorful kites suspended from the ceiling. For the youngest gamers, Blue Highway has games based on their favorite books: Dr. Seuss, Richard Scarry, Curious George. Best of all, a well-stocked game library in the back and spacious tables invite test-playing and killing a wet afternoon with a group of friends trying to figure out whodunit with the candlestick in the ballroom. Gavin borcHert 2203 Queen Anne Ave N., 282-0540, bluehighwaygames.com

Best Hardware Store

Home Depot has great prices, but it’s more of a hardwarehouse than a hardware store, and the customer service blows (provided you can actually find an orange vest on the floor). The ideal hardware-store staffer should: a) know more about hardware than the average customer, and b) avoid treating customers who know nothing about hardware like annoying idiots. Where Home Depot falls, MCLeNdoN’s stands tall. The Washington-bred chain’s White Center store may not be big enough to accommodate forklifts, but it has the ideal mix of sweet old ladies at the registers and mustachioed wrench kings in the aisles to make your home-improvement expedition a surefire

Books are our passion. Let us share it with you. 206.634.3400 • ubookstore.com • 1.800.335.READ

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Our non-discrimination policy is located online

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Best Used-CD Store

guru Mark Pickerel, take the cake for best bargain in town. For less than $20, you can score a crateful of titles from Bryan Ferry to Willie Nelson, all prescreened for wear and, of course, hipster cred. GWenDolYn elliott

THE ORIGINAL

best of seattle 2012

Goods & Services

success. MIKE SEELY Six Western Washington locations, including White Center, 10210 16th Ave. S.W., 762-4090, mclendons.com

Best Liquor Store SATURDAY AUGUST 25 11AM–6PM H

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All right, people, we kind of fucked up. Somehow Costco, Kroger, Walmart, and a bunch of other corporate overlords convinced us that we needed to boot the state out of the booze business and give them exclusive rights to sell the stuff. A majority of us voters must either be gullible rubes or drunken buffoons, because we actually believed prices would stay the same or even decline. What we got instead is jackedup Jameson and a diminished selection. Fortunately, we were sensible (or perhaps sober) enough to decide that all the existing state locations could become privately owned liquor stores. That moment of clarity spawned operations like BALLARD LIQUOR AND WINE. It looks virtually unchanged from the old days—they even kept those tacky green-lettered signs that spell out the types of alcohol on the shelves—and they stock all the good stuff they don’t sell at the grocery store. Not only that, the employees have totally mellowed out. One manager on a recent visit made a heartened pitch for a craft bourbon and even offered “backstage passes” to Portland’s distillery row. Another time, the guy at the register allowed a dog into the store. Asked about the difference between his new bosses (who also own another independent liquor store on 25th Avenue Northwest) and the state, he replied, rolling his eyes, “It’s more relaxed. With the state it was . . . stress.” So here’s the deal: In a couple years we’ll be able to vote, via another initiative, to let the big-box stores keep their overpriced strawberry-kiwi vodka, and let all businesses—including bars!—sell bottled liquor over the counter. KEEGAN HAMILTON 2840 N.W. Market St., 706-5892

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Best Mall

Look, there are a lot of great malls in the area. But the Cinnabons taste sweetest of all at the TACOMA MALL, assuming you can avoid being shot. OK, so people are rarely shot at the Tacoma Mall—it hasn’t happened in, like, forever. But the Cinnabons really are divine, and—more important—the mall offers the divine intervention that is the Tacoma Mall Pimp, a character even UrbanDictionary.com recognizes for his brightly colored suits and the tireless gospel he spreads to any mall rat interested in listening—typically right outside the Nordstrom, but sometimes even over by that weirdo samurai-sword store. Go ahead, Google the dude if you don’t believe me. What other mall offers that? It’s the stuff of legend, and it deserves to be recognized. MATT DRISCOLL 4502 S. Steele St., Tacoma, 253-4754565, simon.com/Mall/?id=238

Best Musical-Instrument Store

There’s a special place in every musician’s heart for the local music store where they got their start. At their best, these stores double as supportive communities, where future bandmates meet and beginners learn their first bar chords and rock beats. Their employ-

ees act as nonprofit accountants, teachers, psychiatrists, and business managers. In South Seattle, this role is filled by Michael Smith’s GEORGETOWN MUSIC STORE, located in the old home of the Georgetown Pharmacy. It’s quite appropriate, really, ’cause if you’ve got a fever, the only prescription is “More cowbell.” CHRIS KORNELIS 6111 13th Ave. S., 767-2718, georgetownmusicstore.com

Best Pet Store

For pet foods and supplements, West Seattle’s NEXT TO NATURE is the whole package. Its prices are competitive—on average cheaper than Petco’s, Pet Pros’, and Mud Bay’s—and the showroom is roomy and stocked with options. From cat condos to treats, Next to Nature delivers a selection with a focus on local products and friendly service. Free samples abound, from biscuits for Fido to food for Whiskers, and they always have the sweetest cats and kittens, spayed, neutered, and vaccinated, available to adopt onsite. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT 4543 California Ave. S.W., 935-1134, next-to-nature.com

Best Place for a Kid’s Birthday Party

There’s a certain age in one’s life when no party is complete without princess plates, Harry Potter napkins, or balloons waiting to be tossed around the living room. If you have someone of that age in your life, head to BORRACCHINI’S BAKERY, an oldtime Italian establishment that harkens back to days when Rainier Valley constituted the “garlic gulch.” The bakery is only one component of the store, which is something like a blue-collar version of downtown’s DeLaurenti. But the owners seem to have decided that since they’re selling sheet cakes piled high with icing, they might as well become a one-stop-shopping party store. Staff will even blow up your balloons. While you shop, the kids can watch cake decorators squeeze their giant tubes, creating edible flowers that appear like magic. NINA SHApIRO 2307 Rainier Ave. S., 325-1550, nowcake.com

Best Place for a Grown-Up Birthday Party

You can’t quite wear your birthday suit to BANYA 5. In deference to the spa’s co-ed policy, swimsuits are required. But the compact network of well-kempt saunas, steam rooms, and hot tubs delivers everything else you might want for a very serene celebration. And if devotees of the Slavic sauna tradition are right, broiling in a hot room before plunging into a frigid pool might just keep you feeling like there are fewer candles on your cake. HANNA RASKIN 217 Ninth Ave. N., 262-1234, banya5.com

Best Runner’s Store

If you’re into running, you need shoes that fit. If you’re really into running, you need shoes that fit your running style, too. Do you know what your running style is? Probably not. But the guys at EVERYDAY ATHLETE will. After watching you jog around the store, they’ll pick out a pair of sneakers perfectly suited for the way your feet hit the pavement. But beware: They’ll also make you jog

around the block in your new kicks to make sure they feel just right. So if you want to avoid running in jeans (and who doesn’t?), make sure you go wearing proper attire. SARAH ELSON 11829 98th Ave. N.E., Kirkland, 425-821-4301, everydayathlete.us

Best Spa

Casino detractors often say gambling makes them feel dirty, so it’s especially convenient to have talented aestheticians offering facials and mud wraps just off the wagering floor. Tulalip Resort’s T-Spa—which you’d never guess was connected to a casino—also specializes in private, high-end tub soaks, which could become an urban sensation after tanning beds peter out. HANNA RASKIN 10200 Quil Ceda Blvd., 866716-8772, tulalipresort.com/t-spa

Best Surplus Store

The surplus store suffers from an image problem. The average non-military enthusiast who passes one on the street probably thinks its racks are covered in camouflage. Worse yet, actual military enthusiasts have something of a creepy rep; if someone is way into war, it’s logical to assume this person might want to see about starting one, militia-style. But the best surplus stores are more akin to Filson than First Blood, and we’ll be damned if Belltown’s bright, durable FEDERaL aRMY & NaVY SURpLUS doesn’t offer more to the outdoor enthusiast—to say nothing of the Armed Forces—than

Patagonia next door. MIKE SEELY 2112 First Ave., 443-1818, gr8gear.com

Best Toy Store

New toys are expensive, and most kids tire of them in about a month. So screw new toys: Unless your tyke is a spoiled twat, he’ll be able to accept a definition of “new” more along the lines of “new to your household.” And while not all second-hand stores have bountiful toy racks, the BURiEN GooDwiLL sure does. That musical toddler-walker that’ll run you $30 at Target? It—and pretty much every other toy—is $1.99 here. A torta at a nearby truck on Ambaum costs more, and boasts a (slightly) shorter lifespan. MIKE SEELY 1031 S.W.

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Best Yoga Studio

Yoga instructors like to say—usually while urging their charges to close their eyes in half-moon pose—that what really matters is not how you position your limbs, but how much you smile while doing it. By that measure, HaUTE YoGa QUEEN aNNE is mobbed with highly successful practitioners. Students are almost always friendly at Haute Yoga, a studio distinguished by a lovely space with a garden view and uniformly terrific teachers. Even better, the practice room is always warm, a definite plus on Seattle’s many cold, chilly days. HANNA RASKIN 2131 Queen Anne Ave. N., 913-2561, hauteyogaqueenanne.com

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Best Local Single

The most memorable song on Deep Sea Diver’s debut album History Speaks is also its first single, the exquisite piano track “NWO.” That stands for “New World Order,” and the chorus, as sung by frontwoman Jessica Dobson, includes the line “As we walk in the valley of the shadow of death.” But the gangstarap similarities stop there. “NWO” combines haunting, slow-burning verses with an incessant drumbeat and an amped-up chorus that showcases Dobson’s plaintive vocals at their very best. Those disparate elements make for a rarity: a somber song you can dance to.

staff picks

ERIN K. THOMPSON thedeepseadiver.com

Staff Picks

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Best Rock Club THE MIX

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Best Local Record Label

With releases from the Walkabouts, J. Pinder, Red Jacket Mine, and others over the past year, FIN RECORDS has established itself as a pillar of the local music community. Its releases, from hip-hop and country to indie rock, aren’t bound by genre, but by a committment to high-quality local tunes proudly bound in gorgeous packaging. This shamelessly idealist label, which gives artists complete control over their music and packaging, is still young, but its future looks bright—and so, by extension, does that of the local talent it cultivates. CHRIS KORNELIS 5140 Ballard Ave. N.W., Suite A 402-5648, finrecords.com

Best Vocalist, Male

Best Album of the Past 12 Months

Damien Jurado made folk records for almost two decades before he admitted to himself that he wasn’t a folk artist. And at the

urging of producer Richard Swift, Jurado decided to make a record he actually liked: MARAQOPA. The album is significant not just because it’s the best locally in the past year, but because it’s another example

myspace.com/beatconnexion

Best Vocalist, Female

After releasing a promising self-titled folk debut in 2000, Seattle-based singer/songwriter SHANNON STEPHENS stepped away from music and spent eight years raising her family and nurturing a home garden business. But the urge to return to the scene, furthered by encouraging friends in the music community, compelled the artist to release this year’s stunning Pull It Together. In those eight years a new confidence has grown in her voice, which is as clear and pure as the songbirds warbling in her garden. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT asthmatickitty.com/shannon-stephens

Best Songwriter of an encouraging recent trend: sparse folk artists getting sick of indie and going big, with instrumentals, solos, and adventure and urgency instead of purity. CHRIS KORNELIS damienjurado.com

In music that evoked Americana’s dark, down-and-out side, DREW KERIAKEDES, aka Shmootzi the Clod, covered a few favorite topics: booze-soaked revelry, the macabre, or both. And sex. But after a few years with Seattle troupe Circus Contraption (he joined in 2005), his songs, tellingly, developed another theme: the outsider who’s found

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

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TOM EDDY has a voice so magical, one genre can’t contain it. As a solo artist, Eddy, 22, performs bluesy folk tunes in a sweet and fluent croon, as heard on his delicate EP The Bread Maker’s Blues—the sort of music you might expect to hear at Doe Bay Fest (which he is actually playing this summer). But as of this year, Eddy is also the sole vocalist for the electro-pop outfit Beat Connection, and his incredibly malleable voice shines on the band’s debut album The Palace Garden, dipping and curving with the songs’ shimmering instrumentals. He nails a vocal take like the rest of us take breaths. That effortless flexibility allows him to convey soul and anguish one moment, spark and vitality the next, and sound beautiful on both. ERIN K. THOMPSON

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Robert Alsdorf, former King County Superior Court Judge Sherry Appleton, Washington State Representative Rev. Steve Baber, Pastor, Skyway United Methodist Church Sally Bagshaw, Seattle city Councilmember Lisa Brown, Washington State Senate Majority Leader Harriet Bullitt, CEO, Sleeping Lady Mountain Resort Tim Burgess, Seattle City Councilmember Rev. Leslie David Braxton, Senior Pastor, New Beginnings Christian Fellowship Maralyn Chase, Washington State Senator Bill Clapp, President and Co-Founder, Seattle International Foundation Sally Clark, Seattle City Council President Richard Conlin, Seattle City Councilmember Benjamin S. Danielson, MD, Clinic Director, Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic Hans Dunshee, Washington State Representative Jodie Emery, publisher, Cannabis Culture Magazine Marc Emery, Canadian cannabis policy reform advocate Jan (Michels) Erickson, former Executive Director, Washington State Bar Association Rabbi Ted Falcon, Ph.D, Founder of Be Alef Meditative Synagogue Cynthia G. Ferrucci, MD, University of Washington Health System Rob Fieldman, former Director, Washington State Career and Technical Education Joe Fitzgibbon, Washington State Representative Jean Godden, Seattle City Councilmember Roger Goodman, Washington State Representative Larry Gossett, King County Councilmember James P. Gray, Judge (Ret.), U.S. Vice Presidential Candidate Bruce Harrell, Seattle City Councilmember Bob Hasegawa, Washington State Representative

Sam Hunt, Washington State Representative Laurie Jinkins, Washington State Representative Gary Johnson, U.S. Presidential Candidate and former New Mexico governor Adam Kline, Washington State Senator Jeanne Kohl-Welles, Washington State Senator Richard Lee, founder, Oaksterdam University Anne Levinson, former Seattle Municipal Court Judge and former Seattle Deputy Mayor Nick Licata, Seattle City Councilmember Marko Liias, Washington State Representative Rev. Carl L. Livingston, Jr., Senior Pastor, Kingdom Christian Center Charles Mandigo, former Special Agent in Charge, Seattle Division, Federal Bureau of Investigation Dorothy Holland Mann, PhD, MPH, former Regional Health Administrator, U.S. Public Health Service Michael McGinn, Seattle Mayor Luis Moscoso, Washington State Representative Ed Murray, Washington State Senator Sharon Nelson, Washington State Senator David A. Nichols, Whatcom County Superior Court Judge, Ret. Greg Nickels, former Seattle City Mayor and Secretary of State Candidate Mike O’Brien, Seattle City Councilmember Jamie Pedersen Washington State Representative Katrina C. Pflaumer, former U.S. Attorney, Western District of Washington Margarita Prentice, Washington State Senator Tom Rasmussen, Seattle City Councilmember Chris Reykdal, Washington State Representative Mary Helen Roberts, Washington State Representative Cindy Ryu, Washington State Representative Mike Sells, Washington State Representative Ron Sims, former Deputy Secretary for the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (2009-2011), King County Executive (1996-2009), and King County Councilmember (1985-1996)

Norm Stamper, former Police Chief Ben Stuckart, Spokane City Council President Jolene Unsoeld, former U.S. Congresswoman and Washington State Representative Dave Upthegrove, Washington State Representative John Urquhart, King County Sheriff Candidate Ken Valz, former Thurston County Deputy Prosecutor Rev. Percy Happy Watkins, New Hope Baptist Church Asian Pacific Islander Coalition El Centro de la Raza Fuse Washington Green Party of Washington State King County Bar Association Latina/o Bar Association of Washington Law Enforcement Against Prohibition (LEAP) Metropolitan Democratic Club of Seattle Minority Executive Directors Coalition National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum – Seattle Chapter National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) Office & Professional Employees International Union – Local 8 Peace and Justice Action League of Spokane Puget Sound Alliance for Retired Americans Sailors’ Union of the Pacific Seattle Building & Construction Trades Council Surge NW Tacoma NAACP Washington State Democrats Washington State Labor Council, AFL-CIO

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best of seattle 2012

Music, Bars, & Clubs

a sense of belonging; and his persona—a scraggly, loose-jointed hobo/madman whose face could stretch into a scary/joyous leer— surprisingly became the emotional core of CC’s presciently named 2008–09 stage production “The Show to End All Shows.” The closing number he wrote for that show, “Love Makes the World Go Round,” the simplest possible three-chord slow waltz, was achingly poignant—devastatingly so when sung at the Hale’s Palladium benefit in memory of Drew and the other victims of the May 30 Cafe Racer shootings. Gavin Borchert

Best New Band

Ulrika Larsson, Nate Kruz, Gwen Stubbs, and Amy Tisdale are four friends who toyed with the idea of starting a detective agency and solving neighborhood crimes. But they weren’t very good at it, and instead settled for forming a garage-pop band called DETECTIVE AGENCY. That was a couple of years ago, but they only just released their first EP in February. Daggers is a charming collection of five lively tunes with nimble pop hooks, as fresh and breezy as a gust of spring air. Detective Agency proves that this simple formula—a group of friends kicking back, drinking beer, and writing songs together, just for the fun of it—really can be successful. Case closed. erin K. thoMPSon detectiveagency.bandcamp.com

Best Band to Die in the Past 12 Months

Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head was always on borrowed time, what with the lawsuitbaiting name and everything. When it closed up shop and relaunched as BRITE FUTURES, frontman Luke Smith told me it was because, well, the future looked so bright. The sun has set on this partystarting dance band, but the future remains bright indeed for its talented musicians. chriS KorneLiS

Best Band Name

When Peter Richards and Andrew Hall started a band, they came up with the perfect name to embody their rambunctious, funny-bro vibe: DUDE YORK. It’s a pun, but not a very good one, in the same way their cacophonous, anything-goes brand of punk, with its arbitrary literary references and spastic bursts of energy, is sloppy but also hilarious. (They push the pun hard, too, giving their records names like Gangs of Dude York and Escape From Dude York.) New bassist Claire England is female, but the band’s spirit remains totally dudely, bro. erin K. thoMPSon dudeyork.bandcamp.com

Best Country Artist

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Few songwriters alive today work as hard as KNUT BELL, who regularly clocks fourhour marathon shows at honky-tonks all the way from Conway, Wash., to Austin, Texas, where he recently delivered 200 cases of Rainier in exchange for 200 of Lone Star as part of the Great American Beer Swap organized by alt-country social club Horses Cut Shop. Hand-in-hand with his rock-solid work ethic is the rumbling, Waylonesque baritone that barrels from his broad frame,

nailing covers from the “outlaw” catalog alongside his own self-penned tunes—songs accompanied by country legends like Merle Haggard’s guitarist Redd Volkaert and Johnny Cash’s piano man Earl Poole Ball on his latest album, Wicked, Ornery, Mean, and Nasty. GWenDoLYn eLLiott knutbell.com

Best Cover Band

Last year, a few older, more mature Rolling Stones fans took to grumbling on an online message board about “THE ROLLING STONES,” the cover band comprising ex-Blood Brother vocalist Jordan Blilie and his “rawest dogs,” including members of Whalebones, Flexions, and Truckasauras. The Mick-and-Keith disciples couldn’t believe that a cover band could be so bold as to christen itself with a name so close to the original, and made fun of their “It’s Only Rock ’n’ Roll” sailor costumes. But while the old folks were bitching and moaning, the rest of us were too busy trying to get into the band’s rare live shows, which more often than not pack rooms and sell out. There’s a good reason for that level of enthusiasm: Each “Stone” is a great musician, and the vitality of their performances brings the sexy back to a half-century-old band. Like any good legend, “The Rolling Stones” are elusive—they don’t record, and their members are now scattered up and down the West Coast, making their shows even more infrequent. Catch them while you can, if you can. erin K. thoMPSon

Best Folk Band

If Simon and Garfunkel had stayed together long enough to grow old and name an heir, THOUSANDS just might have been the recipient. Guitar-toting duo Kristian Garrard and Luke Bergman shudder at the likeness, but their tender tones, delicate arrangements, and exquisite harmonies definitely earn them the comparison. But unlike S&G, Garrard and Bergman—active members of their alma mater UW’s experimental-music collective Table and Chairs—incorporate more unconventional sounds into their work; their debut release “The Sound of Everything” hums like a pioneering take on “The Sound of Silence.” GWenDoLYn eLLiott thousandsband.com

Best Garage Band

It’s frequently noted that POSSE—guitarists/vocalists Sacha Maxim and Paul Wittmann-Todd and drummer Jon Salzman—sound a hell of a lot like the ’90s rock bands they love: Yo La Tengo, the Breeders, Sonic Youth, and the Pixies. It’s not that these comparisons aren’t apt—Posse songs feature heavy guitars, concise melodies, and muted vocals, and Wittmann-Todd can sound eerily like Frank Black—but focusing on those forebears draws attention from the band’s own delightful energy and creativity. Posse puts on a tight, fun live show, and their self-titled debut, released in January, features clever, introspective, and modern songs (“Sarah” is about a woman in Maxim’s Catholic church protesting against welcoming gay members) that spit attitude—signs of a band bent on doing its own thing, not imitating someone else. erin K. thoMPSon posseposse.com

Best Hip-Hop Artist

Picking the best hip-hop artist in Seattle is like choosing the best MC in Wu-Tang Clan: There are too many right decisions. THEESATISFACTION’s disharmonic rhythms and intellectually heavy lyrics bear the unmistakable influence of Ishmael Butler (Shabazz Palaces, Digable Planets, et al.), who raps on two tracks on the group’s latest release awE naturalE. But the duo of Stasia Irons and Catherine Harris-White also has the vibe of Motown girl groups like the Velvettes, and they flow like Lauryn Hill in her prime. The town is in the midst of a hip-hop renaissance, and the fact that an act as uniquely talented as THEESatisfaction has national exposure and a Sub Pop record deal says a whole helluva lot about how far the local scene has come in recent years. Much like Wu-Tang, 206 hip-hop ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. KEEGAN HAMILTON theesatisfaction.com

Best Pop Band

It’s been a while since a local band has had as much star potential as DEEp SEA DIvEr. The trio’s founder and frontwoman, California transplant Jessica Dobson, is already a name in the music world, having played in touring bands with Beck, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and the Shins, and her own band has just as much poise and polish as those more famous acts. Deep Sea Diver puts on an unbelievably tight live show, with Dobson

singing and riffing on her electric guitar, backed by bassist John Raines and drummer Peter Mansen—Dobson’s husband, who behind his kit looks like Animal from the Muppets. The band’s debut LP, this year’s History Speaks, is a collection of nine emotive, elegant pop songs that retain all the live-wire energy of their stage performances. History Speaks was self-released, but it’s only a matter of time before a label snaps them up. ERIN K. THOMPSON thedeepseadiver.com

Best Psychedelic Bender

It seems drummer Joshua Tillman quit his gig with Fleet Foxes, took a bunch of amazing drugs, and created a brilliant, Sub Pop–released record all by himself. Performing as FATHEr JOHN MISTY, Tillman sings about depraved days in Hollywood, wild nights in teepees, and dose-happy Canadian shamans to a jangly, countrified soundtrack that sounds like some twisted amalgam of post-Sgt. Pepper’s Beatles, Pet Sounds-era Beach Boys, and Merle Haggard’s entire discography. “We could do ayahuasca,” he croons, “baby, if I wasn’t holding all these drinks.” The hallucinogenic aesthetic is completed with some seriously trippy cover art and a novella of incomprehensible liner notes. Somebody please tell him to slip some of whatever he’s taking into Robin Pecknold’s drink before Tillman’s old band starts recording again. KEEGAN HAMILTON fatherjohnmisty.com

Best Punk Band

Primus’ Les Claypool, a frequent collaborator with THE DEAD KENNY GS’ bandleader, Skerik, came to the sax player recently and told him he had a great idea for a song title: “Gorelick”—which happens to be the real last name of the band’s poodle-haired inspiration, and the name of its new EP. Skerik and Kenny G took lessons from the same man, and are both masters of their craft. One of them plays smooth jazz, the other plays every genre under the musical rainbow, and blows the fiercest punk in town with this ensemble. CHRIS KORNELIS thedeadkennygs.com

Best R&B Artist

Few artists can croon, tickle out a tune on an old organ, and simultaneously receive highfives from enthusiastic fans, but LUCAS FIELD does it all with the swag of a peppy Serge Gainsbourg. After leaving rock band Low vs Diamond, Field began to rehearse with an R&B crew at his Lake Union houseboat, and was soon packing the lounge at Indian restaurant Laadla once a week with soul-fueled sessions that transformed the dingy bar into a party scene from Cocktail. His recent release, Conquest of Happiness, flows with positivity as soulful as his dreamy vocals. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT lucasfield.com

Best Rock Band

What? You say the CAvE SINGErS are a

folk band? ’Cause they play, like, acoustic guitars, and guitarist Derek Fudesco has that signature sit-dance-rock thing? All good points. But trust me, they’re moving on. After seeing their amped-up set at Sasquatch! (where they were assisted by Fleet Foxes’ Morgan Henderson), the band took off their cloaks, Derek got out of his chair, and the quartet revealed themselves as who they’ve always been: a rock band with a thing for folk. CHRIS KORNELIS thecavesingers.com

Best Side Project

While Country Lips have not-so-quietly built a reputation as the most rock-and-roll country band in town, their co-frontman Hamilton Boyce has also been busy with another act: SONG SpArrOW rESEArCH. The indie rockers released their self-titled debut on July 26, and it’s a dramatic departure from Boyce’s boot-stomping, barnstorming gig with the Lips. More in the vein of contemporary groups like Beach House and Beirut, Song Sparrow Research sounds dreamy, anthemic, and occasionally melancholy. The group takes its name from Boyce’s undergraduate research at the University of Washington, where he worked in a lab that studied the function and development of bird song. He must have learned a thing or two, ’cause Mother Nature would be proud of these tunes. KEEGAN HAMILTON songsparrowresearch.com

Top 10 Things to do at Seattle Hempfest 2012 [ from south to north ]

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Honestly, we think all these places belong at number #1. Decide for yourself. Check out the bands and speakers at www.hempfest.org/festival/schedule.

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

1. Bypass the long lines at Hempfest and party all year for free! Get a membership at www.hempfest.org, then use the Members Entrance at the OSP fountain on Alaskan Way & Broad St. next to Pier 70. Members also get 10% off at select vendors all weekend! 2. Learn cool Legal, Economic, Environmental, Nutritional & Medicinal facts about Hemp, and watch world-class entertainment at the Hemposium tent & stage. 3. Volunteer for a shift at the Staff Check-In area behind Hemposium. Seattle Hempfest is 100% volunteer powered! 4. Feed your munchies and support Seattle Hempfest! We’re opening our first-ever food booth at #4004F in Munchie Market. Our ‘Hempfest Noodles’ menu will include yakisoba, teriyaki chicken, Kahlua pork & fresh lemonade. 5. Play a game of Bong Pong at the Fweedom Collective booth #433. Got Vape? Check out the Hempfest Official vaporizers at booth #449. 6. Don’t miss ‘HighTide’ at Bud Beach! Stop by HighTide Smoke shop in booth #507. 7. Enjoy more world-class music and international speakers on the Main stage, presented by Rick Steves “trips of a lifetime...legally!” 8. Stop by the Hempfest Central General Store & Info booth on your way to rock out at McWilliams stage, presented by Caviar Gold records. 9. RaveSafe at DanceSafe Electronic music stage, then get your groove on and enjoy the good vibes coming from the Seeley stage just to the North. 10. New this year, our 6th stage! The Bassdrop Music Village stage at the north entrance!

best of seattle 2012

Music, Bars, & Clubs

Best Fucking Tacoma Band

Tacoma’s got a lot of great bands. Metal bands. Indie bands. Hip-hop acts and, well, metal bands. T-Town has a little of everything. But the best fucking Tacoma band of them all is THE FUCKING EAGLES. Anchored by members of Seaweed and packing a relentless take on garage rock that’s a rollicking throwback yet contemporary enough to make you fist-pump for real (not just because you feel obligated), here’s a band the Dude himself could abide by. Fuck Don Henley. It’s time you got plugged into the Fucking Eagles. MATT DRISCOLL myspace.com/ ihatethefkingeagles

Best Busker

BEN FISHER is a University of Washington student majoring in Arabic who, in his time away from studying, moonlights as the city’s sunniest busker. For six years, beginning in his early teens, Fisher’s set up on sidewalks at farmers markets around town, opening his guitar case for spare dollars and belting songs so heartily that no other busker will perform within 20 feet of him. Crowds gather for his rousing renditions of tunes like Paul Simon’s “Graceland” and Bob Dylan’s “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go,” as well as a number of equally brisk and buoyant originals. In the past year, Fisher’s been booking a lot more shows at “real” venues, but at a recent Tractor Tavern performance, he stepped away from the microphone to bawl

one of his songs without amplification, as if in homage to his street side gig. ERIN K. THOMPSON benfisher.bandcamp.com

Best Club DJ

It’s only fitting that in a city like Seattle, with weather even Londoners have a hard time bearing, the finest club DJ is named DJ SAD BASTARD, aka local songwriter and Vendetta Red guitar man Michael Vermillion, who spins the saddest country shit you’ve ever heard. From Hank Williams to Merle Haggard, this isn’t music to shake your booty to, but tunes best heard bellied up to the bar, where you can drown your rain-soaked blues along with the rest of us. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

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Best Sound Engineer

Best All-Ages Venue

JEFF FIELDER is everywhere: at Neumos backing up Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan; at the Neptune providing musical accompaniment to a Duff McKagan book reading; putting together a Levon Helm tribute show at the Triple Door. At this last event, he even illustrated the poster to boot. CHRIS KORNELIS myspace.com/jefftfielder

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Duff McKagan), THE NEPTUNE became a critical, almost universally beloved part of the local arts community. It’s big enough that it feels like an occasion when up-and-coming locals play there, and small enough to provide an intimate look at old favorites like The National. Oh, and there’s this killer seat in the balcony with the world’s best footrest that’s always free. Sorry, I’ll keep that one to myself. CHRIS KORNELIS 1303 N.E. 45th St.,

From Heart to The Head and the Heart, ED BROOKS has worked with so much of the Seattle music scene that he’s damn near royalty in some circles. His recent fold comprises the Moondoggies, Eddie Spaghetti, Pearl Jam, and Fleet Foxes, while alums include R.E.M., the B-52s, Death Cab for Cutie, and Mark Lanegan. Career-wise, he’s outlived a lot of the acts he’s worked with, and it seems that bands seek him out not only because his mixing talents lend a smooth and effortless quality to recordings, but because he just can’t stop doing what he does best. GWENDOLYN

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(Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Licensed to Ill, etc.)— BRANDI CARLILE, the Ravensdale-bred singer/songerwriter, turned to an untested knob-twister: herself. The result is Bear Creek, the best record of Carlile’s career. You could chalk it up to the fact that she said she felt more comfortable taking chances and experimenting when the legends weren’t towering over her. We’re calling it her first star turn as a hit-making producer. CHRIS

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Yes, yes, YES, thank heaven for the underage clubs and shows around town. But nothing packs in the youngsters like KEYARENA. More important, the home of the Storm is more all-ages than underage: It’s commonplace to see parents with their kids to see Bob Dylan or Carole King. KeyArena is the place listeners go to see their first show—or their first in years—making it one of Seattle’s most important venues. It doesn’t have the name recognition of, say, Madison Square Garden, but it’s no less critical. CHRIS KORNELIS 401 First Ave. N., keyarena.com

Best Rock Club

What do you mean you’ve never heard of THE MIX?! As much as Seattleites profess to love dives, it’s amazing how slick some of our local rock clubs have become. The Mix— tucked away in Georgetown—is a lived-in, comfortable, crowded, sweaty rock club.

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best of seattle 2012

Music, Bars, & Clubs

And its hit-and-miss bookings—from rock and funk to Led Zeppelin cover bands—span more ground than most other local rooms. It’s not the prettiest club in town, but rock and roll wasn’t meant to be pretty. CHRIS KORNELIS 6006 12th Ave. S., 767-0280, themixseattle.com

Best Jazz Club

No room in town comes close to JAZZ ALLEY—the only place you can hear multinight stands from the likes of Branford Marsalis or McCoy Tyner. But what’s made it so impressive in recent years is its tasteful inclusion of other genres in its intimate dinner club, booking jazz-friendly acts like Average White Band and Bela Fleck, among others. CHRIS KORNELIS 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729,

jazzalley.com

Best Local Source for Streaming Music

For 10 years—before Spotify was out of diapers—RHAPSODY’s been the go-to source for music fans who’d rather pay $10 a month to stream 14 million songs than steal them. If the critical mass comes around to the idea of leasing music just as we’ve always leased television, we’ll have Rhapsody to thank. CHRIS KORNELIS rhapsody.com

Best Festival Besides REVERB

The preponderance of multiday (Sasquatch!) and multivenue (SW’s REVERB Festival) affairs has redefined the modern music festival, but the one-day, single-stage DECK THE HALL BALL continues to stack up as one of the year’s best music events, period. Recent years have seen blistering sets from the Black Keys (2010) and Cage the Elephant (2011); the many faces of Danger Mouse (Gnarls Barkley in 2006, Broken Bells in 2010); and big receptions for chart-climbing radio bands like Foster the People (2011). Every year, the Ball acts as a snapshot of alternative rock. Not every band ages well (I saw Staind alongside Beck and 311 in 1999), but the shows rarely disappoint. CHRIS KORNELIS

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His customers come for the solid pours and friendly abuse, but Eastlake Bar & Grill bartender BRUCE LLOYD comes to work each night to complain about his beloved/behated Denver Broncos, his hometown team. He’s smiling more these days with Peyton Manning on the roster, but “I’m prepared to be disappointed, as usual,” says Lloyd, who draws a legion of followers from the dozenplus Seattle bars he’s worked at over three decades. He now tends the upstairs and downstairs bars at Eastlake, popular for its steaks, burgers, and Lake Union views. Tuesdays, by the way, are always “Bruce’s Night,” with $5 Headbutts, $4 Whadyawant well drinks, and $5 Mac & Cheese Nachos, Lloyd’s

version of the food pyramid. RICK ANDERSON 2947 Eastlake Ave. E., 957-7777, neighborhood grills.com/eastlake

Best Bar in a Bar

Perhaps it’s the B in Ballard that brings out the neighborhood’s seemingly unquenchable thirst for bourbon. A number of recently opened establishments specialize in America’s finest spirit, and none cater to this niche better than THE SEXTON. Those fiending for a pour of Elmer T. Lee or Eagle Rare need look no further than this Southernfried addition to Ballard Avenue, where the drinks are served atop a constellation of white cassette tapes encased in glass. Music features prominently in the decor (with an old acoustic-guitar body converted into shelving, among other details), but those tapes, arranged like some sonic constellation cast-off from the late ’80s, are the unique touch that sets the place apart from those others nearby. KEEGAN HAMILTON 5327 Ballard Ave. N.W., 829-8645, sextonseattle.com

Best Bar to Close in the Past 12 Months

In the ’80s, Seattle—especially its western peninsula—used to be a dreary, uncool place where Friday night meant getting fucked up on kamikazes and rocking out to a cover band in a cavernous bar. The venue which epitomized this era was the ROCKSPORT, which unplugged its Jägermeister machine for good on July 14. Those were less-complicated times. People sported mustaches and tight denim without a whiff of irony. South King County was populated mostly by white trash, and South Seattle was mostly black. Nobody caught shit from cycling activists for cruising around Alki or Shilshole in a muscle car, and Sir Mix-a-Lot passed for hip-hop. The death of the Rocksport is the death of Simple Seattle. MIKE SEELy

Best Bar Food

The original ELLIOTT BAY BREWERY in the West Seattle Junction perfectly embodies the brewer’s live-and-let-live ethos, where really good beer is no big deal and the food which accompanies it rises high above soak-it-up standards. For a microbrewery, Elliott Bay is especially welcoming to sports fans, with little television sets in every available nook and cranny and a balcony to accommodate main-floor overspill. Here you’d expect the fish and chips to be excellent, but a stellar Cuban sandwich? That’s as pleasant a surprise as being permitted to quaff a pint of B-Town Brown alongside your toddler. MIKE SEELy 4720 California Ave. S.W. (other locations in Lake City and Burien), 932-8695, elliottbaybrewing.com

Best Bar for People Who Miss Pullman

TIME OUT SPORTS BAR looks out of place in downtown Kirkland, which is otherwise full of chic boutiques, posh spas, and waterfront restaurants. But that’s precisely why it draws so many college students and recent grads, especially those hailing from Wazzu. Time Out is as unpretentious as it gets, and offers cheap deals that would prove

competitive even in Pullman. Case in point: Taco Tuesday, which offers 50¢ tacos (!) and $5 Long Islands. And if, before the weekend, you find yourself yearning to relive college again, you can come back for Thirsty Thursday, when the bartenders serve $1 wells from 9 to midnight. Because at Time Out, the party never stops—just like Pullman. ERIKA HOBART 218 Central Way, Kirkland, 425822-8511, timeoutsportsbar.net

Best Bar Relocation Worth Breaking Your Lease

THE KANGAROO & KIWI proudly boasts that it’s the only authentic Australian pub in the Pacific Northwest. And for 11 years, its Greenlake location attracted both Aussies and non-Aussies alike who wanted to watch rugby, chow down on meat pies, and of course drink beer. This June, the K&K moved to Ballard and—here’s what’s impressive—so did its patrons. Owner Brad Howe says that his regulars have changed zip codes to remain close to their beloved watering hole. More surprisingly, those devoted drinkers who now call Ballard home are American, not Australian. Howe chalks up the K&K’s widespread appeal to its laid-back Down Under vibe. “In Australia, the pub is not a ‘scene,’ ” he explains. “It’s a place to get together with your friends whether things are going good or bad. Americans who might not have necessarily seen that before have really embraced it.” Cheers, mate. ERIKA HOBART 2026 N.W. Market St., 297-0507, kangarooandkiwi.com

Best Dance Club

ERIKA HOBART 1010 E. Pike St., 323-2822, havana

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Best Dive Bar

In 2009, a book of mine was published. It was called Seattle’s Best Dive Bars: Drinking & Diving in the Emerald City. That book contained one omission I regret to this day: the LAVA LOUNGE. Maybe it was the fact that it masquerades as a cheeky tiki bar on Belltown’s most vibrant block. Or that it features a clientele far more attractive than your average beer hall’s. But not only is the dark, tastefully dumpy Lava Lounge a genuine dive bar, it’s a genuinely great dive bar. I’m sorry, Lava Lounge—you should have, without question, been in my book. I hope this belated honor will do for an apology. MIKE SEEly 2226 Second Ave., 441-5660, mamas.com/lavalounge.htm

Dear Seattle Health Department, THE DRAY does not allow pets on the premises, only service animals. Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet. Although you may have heard that this is one of the most dog-friendly establishments in the city, right up there with Norm’s in Fremont, it’s simply not true. Many local bars, restaurants, and other businesses employ a “no questions asked” policy when it comes to dogs indoors, but this is not one of them. This is merely a place where adults can enjoy an amazing beer selection, friendly service, and sports on TV. No dogs. None. Zip. Nada. No dogs allowed here. Sincerely, a beer-loving Seattle dog owner KEEGAN HAMIlTON 708 N.W. 65th St., 453-4527,

thedray.com

Best English Pub

I discovered the WHITE HORsE TRADING cOmpANY on February 7, when a friend organized a gathering there to mark Dickens’ 200th birthday. It couldn’t have been a better choice—English-themed and crowded with used books. In fact, as the bartender pointed out on a recent return visit, the White Horse considers itself not exactly a pub, but a bookstore with alcohol—beer and wine only (and no soda: You can get a Lillet but not a Coke). Red leather couches are arranged in conversation-facilitating shapes, and the background music’s modulated likewise. But unlike what you may expect, the clientele does not seem to skew older; under-30s come here who are actually able to visit a bar for purposes other than getting wasted and/or scheduling a fuck. Call me antisocial, but a pub where you can sit alone with a book and not feel weird is my kind of place—a coffeehouse with booze, essentially, and wonderfully comfy. GAvIN BORcHERT 1908 Post Alley,

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Best Gay Bar

Homosexuality has become such an accepted part of Seattle life that most straights are no longer wary of walking into a gay bar. (Can the Crescent even be classified as such anymore, for instance?) But pONY has a dirty little secret for gay bars wanting to keep their clientele as close to 100 percent gay as possible (the occasional fag hag notwithstanding): Keep things dirty. Flesh on the walls, flesh in the bathrooms, patrons doing fleshy stuff—it’s like the ’70s, minus the bleak mortality rate. Also: great party music. If a bar can be tastefully tacky, then Pony is that bar, and through sheer preventive decor, you’ll never catch it having to issue formal bachelorette-party bans or shoo away canny breeders going undercover to pick up straight chicks. MIKE SEEly 1221 E. Madison St., 324-2854, ponyseattle.com

Best Happy Hour

When it opened a few years ago, pROLETARIAT pIZZA, which serves mammoth New York–style pies and local pitchers of beer in an ultra-kid-friendly environment, went a long way toward cementing downtown White Center’s conversion from a seedy southwestern fringe to a dynamic

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Novices have a hell of a time finding HAVANA. The beloved Capitol Hill gem is hidden in an old brick building, and the directions on its website read like a text message from a friend who’s already slurped down a few: “Stand in front of Caffé Vita, walk into the parking lot directly across the street, then look for the black awning.” But Havana is worth finding. It’s as unpretentious as a dance club gets—you can get away with wearing a ragged sweatshirt as easily as you would a sequined dress, and sipping a beer is as acceptable as throwing back tequila shots. Your best bet is to hit the club on a Thursday, when the DJs spin both rare and popular soul. Just be prepared for the drunk girls to start swaying and singing along when the Supremes’ “Can’t Hurry Love” comes on.

Best Dog-Friendly Bar

Photo: Adam Thornhill

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best of seattle 2012

Music, Bars, & Clubs

commercial epicenter for working-class families of all colors and creeds. With a play nook for kids and communal tables, Proletariat’s half-price-pizza happy hour, 4–5:30 p.m., might seem a little strict at first blush. But for parents of young children, such a forced march can be a blessing, as taking kids out to eat within a feature film’s length of their bedtime often proves a fool’s errand. But while it’s one thing for a restaurant to be kid-friendly, the challenge is to be kidfriendly while letting adults be adults. The pizzas are of high quality (particularly The Favorite, featuring Mondo’s Italian Sausage and Mama Lil’s peppers), but it’s the ice-cold beer—often on special—from stellar breweries like Two Beers and Big Al that illustrate Proletariat’s concern for Centro Blanco residents who haven’t worn a diaper in more than two decades. MIKE SEELY 9622 16th Ave. S.W., 432-9765, proletariatpizza.com

Best Irish Pub

Somewhere along the line, Irish pubs in the U District and downtown became the favored hangouts of rowdy frat types, but we like to think that if real Irish folk, like Joyce, Yeats, or Enya, visited Seattle, they’d prefer to take their Guinness and Bushmills at West Seattle’s Irish-owned and -operated CeltiC Swell. We’re not saying the Swell doesn’t get rambunctious (during a recent visit it was overflowing with slurring, plastic sword–waving, pub-crawling pirates; it also hosts regular trivia nights and live Irish music, and is generally packed to the gills on weekends), but its stunning view of Alki beach radiates peacefulness. Suit your quiet and wild sides: Get there early, grab a window seat, watch the sunset as you dine on homemade corned beef and cabbage or sweet sausage rolls followed by a brownie topped with Guinness ice cream (!)—then get your whiskey order in and let the debauchery begin. ERIN K. THOMPSON 2722 Alki Ave. S.W., 932-7935, celticswell.com

Best Karaoke Bar

JEFF ROMAN 1452 N.W. 70th St., 782-1485

Best KJ

If this was a popularity contest, Ivan Terrazas, better known as BABY KetteN, wouldn’t crack the top five. If it was about showmanship, he wouldn’t even make the list. But Ketten’s songbook might be the best in the country, let alone Seattle. I’ve sung up and down both coasts and at many points in between, and he has selections I’ve never seen (and know I never will) anywhere else. While that may not matter to the karaoke fan happily belting “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” for the thousandth time, for obsessives like me, the opportunity to find deep tracks means every-

The Spectator, 529 Queen Anne Ave. N., 599-4263, babyketten.com

Best Lounge

“Lounge” should not be a haphazardly applied moniker. Rather, a lounge should be dark, the lines of its patrons’ faces barely visible from three stools away. More specifically, its darkness should have a reddish hue, and its decor should be neither flashy nor tacky. If a lounge’s walls could talk, they would tell great stories involving colorful patrons. By contrast, a lounge’s bartenders should substitute politeness and competence for flair. A lounge’s drink menu shouldn’t feature tooclever names—if it has a drink menu at all. Its music should tilt toward mellow jazz, all the better if it’s occasionally performed live. A lounge should be a cool escape from a hot collar. In Seattle, the lovingly restored VitO’S is this lounge. MIKE SEELY 927 Ninth Ave., 3974053, vitosseattle.com

Best Neighborhood Bar, City

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Much has changed in Ballard since HAttie’S HAt served its first thirsty roughneck in 1904 (for one thing, the streets are no longer made of dirt; for another, there are way more condos), but you get the feeling Hattie’s has stayed pretty much the same. The place no longer opens at 6 a.m. to serve a graveyard shift’s worth of dockworkers looking to take the edge off, but the setup of roomy booths along the aisle inside the door, more intimate ones on the other side of a “brawl wall,” that magnificent old wooden bar, and Aunt Harriet’s dining room in the back remains the ideal watering hole. Amicable bartenders, two prime-time happy hours (3–7 p.m. and 10 p.m.–midnight), a hangover-curing brunch on weekends, a menu that features smoked ribs for $1.50 each . . . there are as many reasons to love Hattie’s as years the place has been in business. KEEGAN HAMILTON 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-0175, hatties-hat.com

Best Neighborhood Bar, Suburbs

If you live in Mercer Island, your neighborhood bar is tHe ROANOKe. The Roanoke is in fact the only true neighborhood bar on Mercer Island, and Mercer Island is no small neighborhood; it’s an incorporated city. Befitting an affluent isle where if you rent you’re viewed as poor, the Roanoke’s white exterior resembles that of a country-club clubhouse (the croquet lawn supports this notion as well). Inside, however, it boasts no such pretentiousness, and reveals that one of Seattle’s oldest, richest suburbs (at one point Mercer Island was known as East Seattle) is a veritable Robert Duvall to Medina’s Adrien Brody. If you get the feeling that everybody knows your name, it’s because it’s true. MIKE SEELY 1825 72nd Ave. S.E., 232-0800, facebook.

com/roanokeinntavern

Best New Bar

It’s CANON (not “Cannon” or “Cañon”)— defined as “a sanctioned or accepted group or body of related works” and subtitled “Whisky and Bitters Emporium.” It opened last

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

The north end has a plethora of venues to karaoke in, especially on weekends. In Greenwood alone are six awesome Friday-night options within five minutes of my home. But every week for the past four years, I’ve chosen to sing at tARASCO in Ballard. It’s a nice tucked-away venue that usually gets packed but has occasional down nights where you’re called up 10 times. Recently renovated, its new stage showcases performers better than ever.

thing. Go see for yourself every Thursday through Sunday at The Spectator. JEFF ROMAN

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best of seattle 2012

Music, Bars, & Clubs

September in Licorous’ old space, across 12th Avenue from Seattle U, and it’s quickly become a destination of choice for Seattle’s drinking class. A supremely talented staff, led by owner Jamie Boudreau and the iconic Murray Stenson, are more than just bartenders, they’re startenders, and they make their magic in a handsome space (dominated by towering wooden shelving, holding hundreds of bottles and stretching to the pressed-tin ceiling) that serves as a shrine to mixology, a temple to the art and craft of the cocktail. There’s beer and wine, but if you’re coming here for anything other than a mixed drink, you’re missing the point. One caveat: It’s busy—and should be. If your idea of a night out involves soft lighting, low voices, and a subdued, intimate atmosphere, this may not be the place for you. The show starts daily at 5 p.m., and the 48 seats go fast. But even if there’s a wait involved, Canon is well worth it. MICHAEL MAHONEY 928 12th Ave., 552-9755, canonseattle.com

Best Outdoor Drinking

Outdoor drinking in Seattle is like salmon spawning: it’s only possible in a brief window of summer, and the pink flesh (naturally occurring in the fish, badly sunburned in humans) arrives almost en masse. Alas, if only the salmon on their way upstream had the luxury of enjoying a last meal and a fine cocktail at LITTLE WATER CANTINA. The Eastlake restaurant serves superlative nouveau-Mexican fare, but its main attraction is the 2,000-plus-square-foot patio overlooking Lake Union. The Cantina’s monthly “Snouts and Stouts” event pairs a whole roast hog with local stout brews, but perhaps the best time to visit is a quiet, sunny weekday afternoon, when it’s possible to snag a picnic table with a prime view and let the bartenders get creative with the extensive tequila selection at their disposal. KEEGAN HAMILTON 2865 Eastlake Ave. E., 397-4940, littlewatercantina.com

Best Place to Drown Your Sorrows

N.W., 784-6611

Best Place to Play Darts

In the time it took Death Cab for Cutie to play its epic single “I Will Possess Your Heart” at Showbox SoDo, I once ran across the street to HOOVERVILLE, drank a beer, noshed

20 1 2 – 2 01 3 S E AS O N

S., 264-2428, hoovervillebar.com

Best Soccer Bar

Seattle’s most popular soccer bar is Fremont’s The George & Dragon. For big matches like the Champions League final or Sounders vs. Timbers, the wee pub gets packed to the bloody rafters. Just up the road in Ballard, though, is THE MARKET ARMS, an establishment with the same owners and vibe as The G&D, but which is spacious enough to accommodate a mob of rowdy hooligans. Not only does the Market Arms feature multiple flat-screen TVs typically tuned to the footy match du jour, they serve 20 oz. “imperial” pints of beer, the bar food is tasty (with breakfast served all day, a kitchen decision as clutch as a game-winning penalty kick), and there are two patios with outdoor seating for those rare occasions when the weather is nice. KEEGAN HAMILTON 2401 N.W. Market St., 789-0470, themarketarms.com

AU G U ST 4

Best Sports Bar

Back when the Mariners played in the Kingdome, SLUGGERS—then called Sneakers—was primarily a baseball bar. In fact, it was such a baseball bar that many Mariners ducked in after their postgame showers for a few pops. This didn’t do much to increase attendance, because the Mariners drew such shitty crowds that any uptick in nearby bars’ business was negligible (the nearby bars of today can relate, unfortunately). But Sluggers has shrewdly positioned itself as a prime Sounders hangout while not abandoning its roots as a bar for fans of America’s Pastime. Sluggers’ key attribute: an assload of television sets, enough to accommodate a bull-riding fan when every other major sport has an event of interest humming on another tube. This also makes Sluggers a fine place to take in early March Madness rounds. MIKE SEELY 538 First Ave. S.,

Sa ve yo ur se at s TO DA Y!

654-8070

Best Sports Pre-Funk Bar

With CenturyLink Field just a couple of blocks away (straight up Second Avenue South) and a bistro-style menu a cut above, it’s definitely COLLINS PUb. The prices are a bit on the upscale side, but the food’s worth it: Menu highlights include great fishand-chips, a fine pork chop, and an immense house salad generous with the blue-cheese crumbles and candied pecans. The tuna sandwich is not the StarKist/Miracle Whip combo the phrase suggests, but a thick slab of seared, sushi-grade ahi. The Collins also offers “the best premium beer selection downtown,” advises a friend who knows. The Sounders fans who pack the (potentially) sun-soaked sidewalk seating seem to agree. GAvIN BORCHERT 526 Second Ave., 623-1016,

thecollinspub.com

Joshua Bell

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

A smoke, a shot, and a beer. There was a time not so long ago when that trifecta was the equivalent of antidepressants. Although it’s no longer legal to light up inside THE SMOKE SHOP, the Ballard dive still has the cure for the blues: stiff drinks, friendly company, and a well-stocked jukebox. Traditionally a fisherman’s hangout, with pictures of boats and nautical maps adorning the walls, the place is dimly lit with a horseshoe-shaped bar, worn vinyl booths, and an atmosphere that allows for both solitary stewing and wild carousing. Grizzled regulars can commiserate (the commercial-fishing industry ain’t what it used to be) or regale one another with tales of good times gone by. If your story is sob enough, one might even buy you a shot and a beer. But you’ll have to step outside for that smoke. KEEGAN HAMILTON 5439 Ballard Ave.

on some peanuts, threw darts, and caught up with a friend (OK, in fairness, I may have missed the first few lines of the next song). Few bars in town merit taking an improvised intermission from a rock show; Hooverville is one. The darts are conveniently located by the front door. The peanuts are free. And the beer selection, mercifully, always includes something new. CHRIS KORNELIS 1721 First Ave.

best of seattle 2012

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Music, Bars, & Clubs

Best Strip Club

Guys like me who’ve never been into strip clubs and junked their old VCR years ago after snapping through their last porn cassette have been fapping like crazy since the advent of smartphones and free sites like YouJizz and PornHub. I don’t remember being as amorous with myself even when I was a kid. This never-ending well of sexual stimulus has thrust me back to a world I never thought I’d care about again. But watching an image on a small, gummed-up device is one thing; seeing naked beauties perform live in front of your very eyes is truly the way it was meant to be. DANCING BARE is a discreet neighborhood strip joint that you could pass without even noticing. The girls are young, slim, and hot enough. Best of all (for you, not them): Most hours of the day, you can have them all to yourself. JEFF ROMAN 10338 Aurora Ave. N., 524-2273

Best Place for Cocktails

In the year since Seattle’s favorite bartender, Murray Stenson, left THE ZIG ZAG for (eventually) the stellar Capitol Hill newcomer Canon, the casual observer may have been led to believe that the classy Pike Street Hillclimb bar had fallen into a hopeless rut without its superstar mixologist. But rumors of the Zig Zag’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. Granted, it no longer has a line of folks waiting for its doors to open at 5 p.m. as it did during the latter part of Stenson’s storied tenure. But that’s not such a bad thing: With its dark-red tones, jazzy soundtrack, and spare decor, the Zig Zag feels more like itself when it’s not bursting at the seams with starfuckers. The bar remains as experimental as any in town, and the bartenders’ propensity to let customers sample liquors they’re unfamiliar with continues unabated. A sip of Bonal (fortified French wine that tastes a bit like brandy) might lead to the ordering of a Charlie Baker, $6 at happy hour instead of the usual $10. And a zippy Champs-Élysées makes wise use of green Chartreuse. But the important thing to remember is that the bar is staffed by bartenders who worked alongside Stenson. And while no one is Mur the Blur’s equal, his successors are pretty great at what they do. Really, the only thing that’s changed about the Zig Zag since Stenson left is that he’s no longer there—except during the semi-frequent occasions when he drops in as a customer. MIKE SEELY 1501 Western Ave., 625-1146, zigzagseattle.com

Best Bloody Mary 750 Superbike Exterior Restorations

SEATOWN is situated at the edge of Pike Place Market, as tourists who’ve lost their bearings can confirm with one glance at the restaurant’s bloody Mary, served in a canning jar with a skewered fiddlehead fern (when in season, of course!) lying across its mouth. And if the accoutrements mirror the market, the ingredients gesture to the Sound beyond: The cocktail gets a kick from pickle juice and dill, which makes it an ideal companion for seafood-centric dishes such as the winning Dungeness crab BLT. It’s a

testament to the drink’s appealing zest that folks order it even after brunchtime ends. HANNA RASKIN 2010 Western Ave., 436-0390, tomdouglas.com

Best Manhattan

Of the restaurants in Brian McCracken and Dana Tough’s high-concept troika, THE COTERIE ROOM probably gets the least amount of press for its drinks (which mostly speaks to the superlative cocktailing at Tavern Law and Spur Gastropub). But the bar at the partners’ newest Belltown venture can go sigh-to-sigh with The Coterie Room’s comfort food–producing kitchen, acing classics such as a beautifully balanced rye Manhattan, judiciously stirred into elegance. HANNA RASKIN 2137 Second Ave., 956-8000, thecoterie

room.com

Best Margarita

SEÑOR MOOSE mixes an array of margaritas in its cozy back bar, including versions goosed with mango and pomegranate, but it’s the cocktail’s base ingredients which matter most. The Ballard restaurant squeezes fresh lime and orange juice for its margaritas, which means they’re pricier and slower to arrive than the premixed cocktails that lesser cantinas pour directly from the bottle. But if you have a buck and a minute to spare, the strong drinks deliver a fantastic blast of flavor: For a dash of palate-prepping spice, try the jalapeñocucumber variation. HANNA RASKIN 5242 Leary Ave. N.W., 784-5568, senormoose.com

Best Martini

The Fairmont Olympic’s TERRACE LOUNGE, with its upholstered Empire club chairs, patterned carpet, and tabletop flowers, hosts downtown’s poshest happy hour. There’s even a piano player on weekend nights. But sophistication is remarkably affordable here: A double-pour martini made with Plymouth gin goes for an astounding $7, and is so perfectly proportioned that it makes every drinker feel like a room key–carrying bigwig instead of a midday interloper. HANNA RASKIN 411 University St., 621-1700, fairmont.com

Best Cocktail Name

The Copper Gate is an unassuming, if unusual, shrine to the female form. It hosts burlesque shows, the walls are checkered with old-timey topless pictures, the bathrooms are decorated with tasteful erotica, and there’s a large plaster structure shaped like an anatomically correct vagina that leads, through velvet curtains of course, to a back room. Also, the bar looks like a scaled-down replica of a Viking ship. The old Ballard establishment loves all things Scandinavian and all things boobs, so it’s fitting they serve a cocktail called THE TYTTEBAR, a blend of lingonberry—in Norwegian, tyttebær—soda, and sparkling wine. It comes all fizzy and crimson in a champagne flute, and is nearly impossible to order without cracking a smile. The Copper Gate is no strip club, but it definitely serves the best Tyttebar in town. KEEGAN HAMILTON 6301 24th Ave. N.W., 706-3292, thecoppergate.com

Best Sports Figure

While it wasn’t too long ago that SHAWN KEMP was attempting an NBA comeback, he’s no longer in playing shape. But the exSonic does own a sleek lounge, Oskar’s, in Lower Queen Anne, and he’s got barstools to fill. Therefore, the Reign Man frequently pops up on the air and at public events promoting his happy-hour specials and calling for a new basketball arena to be built in SoDo. As a Sonic, the ultra-athletic Kemp revolutionized the power-forward position; watch a dunk reel on YouTube, and you’ll swiftly realize that he’s still among the most uniquely gifted ballers ever to play the game. Kemp’s a sweet guy, a prolific patriarch, and a living reminder of the go-go ’90s, when Seattle was awash in tech riches and KeyArena hosted the greatest show on wood. Without Shawn around, it’d be hard to envision happy days ever being here again. But because he’s still here, we believe.

staff picks

MIKE SEELY

Staff Picks

Best Mariner

As long as he’s wearing the Compass Rose, FELIX HERNANDEZ will be this team’s best player. For most of the first two-plus months of the season, his mechanics weren’t quite right, his velocity was a little off, his control no longer pinpoint. But something clicked in mid-June, and the King unleashed three consecutive dominant starts—capped by a 13-strikeout, 1-0 masterpiece against Boston at Safeco Field on June 28—in which he struck out 30 batters and walked only three. That’s the Felix two years removed from winning the Cy Young Award, the fourth-youngest pitcher in history to record 1,000 strikeouts, the overpowering right-hander with the wicked high-90s fastball who makes the Yankees and Red Sox salivate and consider blowing up their farm systems to acquire him. Locked in for two and a half more years, the Mariners nonetheless will have to make a decision about his future well before then. Trading the cornerstone of the franchise would result in a fan insurrection, even with a King’s ransom in return; better to sign him to a deal that keeps him in a Seattle uniform into his 30s, when he can lead a deep rotation that includes the Mariners’ trio of elite pitching prospects, righty Taijuan Walker and left-handers Danny Hultzen and James Paxton. MICHAEL MAHONEY

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Sure, MATT FLYNN hasn’t yet taken a snap for the Seahawks. And if we’re to believe coach Pete Carroll and his “always compete” mantra, there’s still a chance Aaron Rodgers’ former backup might not even win the starting gig. But c’mon now. We all know the score. Though the Hawks have a stout defense highlighted by a lot of exciting young talent, Flynn and his possibly, hopefully-not-a-big-deal, maybe-kinda-sorta-suspect arm are the main reason Seahawks fans are looking to 2012 as anything other than continued mediocrity. That feels pretty good, and it’s enough to make Flynn a big deal. MATT DRISCOLL

Best Sounder

Local soccer fans were stunned in February when the Sounders unexpectedly parted with two of their most promising young players, Michael Fucito and Lamar Neagle. But

when you get the opportunity to add a talent like EDDIE JOHNSON to your roster, you don’t pass it up. Entering his prime at 28, Johnson is in his 12th year as a professional and arrived here with something to prove after foundering with clubs in England, Wales, and Greece and losing his place on the U.S. National Team. When the Sounders pried him loose from expansion Montreal, they

hoped to acquire the Johnson who had been one of the most dangerous strikers in MLS, scoring 15 goals for Kansas City five years ago before embarking on his European odyssey. It took a while—he missed several weeks with a hamstring injury and didn’t score until the end of April—but that Eddie Johnson has arrived: With a team-leading nine goals, one-third of Seattle’s total, he’s been the most

reliable offensive force on a team that hasn’t consistently put the ball in the back of the net. With a lightning-quick first step, strength and tenacity in the box, and uncommon ability in the air, Johnson offers a scoring dimension the Sounders didn’t possess in their first three years. And he’s a bargain to boot, making just $100,000 this year. MICHAEL MAHONEY soundersfc.com

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Best Seahawk

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

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best of seattle 2012

Sports & Recreation

Best Local Boxer

“My whole motto,” says QUEEN UNDERWOOD, “is ‘Can’t stop, won’t stop.’ ” The 28-year-old Seattle boxer thought she was stopped when she failed to qualify for the London Olympics after losing a one-point decision in the world championships in May. But in June, she was going again, after a call from officials telling the five-time national champion she’d been awarded a berth in the lightweight division of the first Olympic women’s boxing tournament after a spot unexpectedly opened. “If you saw me jumping around, running around, it was like I got my air back,” said Underwood afterward. All that jumping, and her boxing prowess, is also being recorded for posterity; Queen and her sister Hazzauna are crusaders for victims of child and sexual abuse, having been abused by their ex-con father, and their story is being documented by a film crew. As she told USA Today, “I’m looking forward to reaching out and being a mentor and an idol to everyone who has been through the same situation, or maybe just has had a hard life.” RICK ANDERSON facebook.com/TheQueenoftheRing

Best College Athlete

He’s not very big. He’s not a prototypical quarterback. He’s not Jake Locker. But, as he showed last year, when upright, KEITH PRICE is pretty darn good at being a college signal-caller. In 2011, Husky running back Chris Polk won this award. It’s fitting, then, that Price takes home the honor this year, as in 2012 the Huskies will go only as far as he takes them. If he can stay healthy, and with another year in Steve Sarkisian’s offense under his belt, the sky’s the limit for the talented Price. At least the college sky. MATT DRISCOLL

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Best High-School Athlete

MARQUIS DAVIS wasn’t even supposed to be the best basketball player at Rainier Beach this season. The 5-foot 9-inch junior was pegged as the second banana on a team led by University of Kansas–bound stud Anrio Adams. But when Adams was forced to the bench with foul trouble early in the Vikings’ state championship matchup versus Seattle Prep, the undersized Davis stood tall and carried his team to the title with 30 points, a performance that earned him the tournament’s MVP award. Davis also competes in track (he took fifth in the state in long jump) and plays running back on Beach’s football team (he was a thousand-yard rusher), but his future is clearly on the hardwood, where his deadeye three-point shooting and acrobatic drives to the hoop make him the heir apparent to Nate Robinson as the next pint-sized Seattle sports dynamo. KEEGAN HAMILTON

Best Coach

It’s hard to imagine where Sounders FC would be without SIGI SCHMID, and it goes way beyond the hardware (a record-tying three consecutive U.S. Open Cup titles—no other MLS club has done it twice—and last year’s first all-MLS Cascadia Cup) and the numbers: Seattle’s point total and victories have increased every season, and the Sounders have led MLS in attendance every year. In the four years since he was hired, Schmid—with general manager Adrian Hanauer and technical director Chris Henderson—has created from

scratch a team that made the playoffs its first three seasons (becoming the first MLS expansion franchise in 11 years to qualify for the postseason) and is headed in that direction this year as well. He’s attempting to build on that success while introducing younger players into the squad, trying to ensure that the Sounders’ future is as bright—if not brighter—than their immediate past. So far, this has been the most challenging of Schmid’s four seasons here, and what may be his best coaching job. He juggled 24 players through 22 matches in the season’s first half, counting Champions League and U.S. Open Cup play; 15 of them missed at least two matches due to injuries and/or disciplinary suspensions, including 10 of the 11 who started the season opener. He’s masterfully manipulated the roster he helped assemble, never being able to start the same lineup twice and weathering a club-record nine-match winless streak that stretched from mid-May into July. Sigi’s third MLS Cup with a third team would set a new standard. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen here. MICHAEL MAHONEY soundersfc.com

Best Sports Broadcast Personality

True, KEVIN CALABRO doesn’t do riffs like “Two in the cake, one in the puddin’ ” anymore. That was one of our faves when he did the Sonics broadcasts. Fortunately, he still does NBA and other sports play-by-play, but his network ’casts are toned down some for fans who might not appreciate Calabrospeak (although “million-dollar move, five-cent finish” would surely be understood by LeBron detractors). With co-host Jim Moore, Calabro’s radio show on 710 ESPN Seattle is easygoing, informative, opinionated, and features lots of laughs—all a producer and listener can ask for. The six-time Washington Sportscaster of the Year has still got game after 21 seasons with the Supes and four decades of airtime (he began calling football games as a high-schooler in Indianapolis in the 1970s). In a dated entry, Wikipedia notes that “Calabro is known for using the phrase from the George Clinton song whenever a Sonic player makes an exciting play, ‘Get on up for the down stroke!’ ” OK, but there was also “Flying chickens in the barnyard!” and, that one memorable time, “Shawn Kemp over the illustrated man [Dennis Rodman]! A Herculean royal flush by the Kemper on a setup by the Glove.” Good. Golly. Miss. Molly. RICK ANDERSON mynorthwest. com/category/kevin_calabro

Best Sports Venue

I was into my third year as a Sounders season-ticket holder before I discovered what a blast games at Tukwila’s STARfIRE were. If there are roughly 36,000 of us, and the 4,500-seat Starfire doesn’t always sell out for the reserves, U.S. Open Cup, Sounders Women, or U-23 games it hosts, plenty of others haven’t figured that out either. So take my advice and don’t deprive yourself anymore. Seats are cheap, as are the eats (the pulledpork sandwiches are winners); the front row of bleachers is just a few yards from, and on the same level as, the pitch (hear what the players yell to each other!); and as the team leaves the field, you can line up for photos and autographs. It’s an opportunity to see professional athletes in a small-town, Class-

A-baseball atmosphere. Summer evenings don’t get any funner. Gavin Borchert 14800 Starfire Way, Tukwila, 431-3232, starfiresports. com, soundersfc.com

Best Minor-League Experience

True story: Watching the Mariners at Safeco Field will cost your family hundreds of dollars, and none of that money will guarantee Dustin Ackley and co. will notch more than three hits and two runs. Down in T-Town, on the other hand, sits newly remodeled Cheney Stadium, the Tacoma Rainiers, and perhaps the best deal in the area: TASTY THURSDAY. Hot dogs for a dollar. Beer for two dollars on the appropriately named Tasty Terrace. And all the old-school charm that goes along with the unadulterated minor-league game. Plus, it’s the Pacific Coast League, so you’ll probably see 20 runs scored. And you’ll be sitting close enough to heckle Justin Smoak in the dugout . . . or [insert currently struggling Mariner here] once he gets sent down. Matt DriScoLL Cheney Stadium, 2502 S. Tyler St., Tacoma, 253-752-7707, tacomarainiers.com

Best Sports Bargain

So the Mariners stink. Again. It’s been 10 long years since they reached the playoffs, but for penny-pinching seamheads, there’s a silver lining to the decade of ineptitude. This past year the team began selling DYNAMIC PRICED TICKETS, which adjusts the cost of admission based on opponent, team record, and other factors that affect demand. If this was 2001 and the franchise was on its way to 116 victories, Seattleites could expect some serious price-gouging. But these days a midweek game against the Cleveland Indians, for example, is a recipe for record low attendance. Fans will still pay top dollar for games against Boston, New York, and other popular teams, but tickets for lesser matchups are marked down to as low as $5. With all the empty seats, it’s easy to upgrade once inside Safeco. And all that leftover cash almost makes it possible to afford enough stadium beer to make the feeble Mariners offense entertaining. KeeGan haMiLton seattle.mariners.mlb.com

Best Sports-Related Move

ON E - OF-A-K I N D J E W E L RY

MichaeL MahoneY

Best Seattle Sports Twitter Follow

ALEX AKITA, the man behind Seattle SportsNet.com, tells it how it is. And how it is usually involves a lot of sexual innuendo, Saved by the Bell imagery, and porn references. Which, as most Seattle sports fans will probably agree, is the kind of thing Twitter was made for. Want run-of-the-mill commentary on Adam Moore getting claimed off waivers by Kansas City? Alex Akita is not your man. Want commentary on Adam Moore getting claimed off waivers by Kansas City that involves the use of the phrase “Eiffel Towering chicks in Tacoma”? Akita has you covered. Matt DriScoLL @alexSSN

Best Thing to Happen to Seattle This Year

When the Sonics were stolen from us four years ago, it tore a hole in our community and broke the hearts of three generations who had built a 41-year bond with the only men’s professional franchise to win a world championship for this city. Among those devastated by the loss of our civic institution, an unassuming 44-year-old lifelong Sonics fan, a Roosevelt High graduate-turned-San Francisco hedgefund manager, was actually in a position to do something about it. CHRIS HANSEN materialized in February as the ultimate white knight, with a comprehensive plan to buy up land south of Safeco Field, build an NBA-caliber arena, and attract a team when one became available, ideally with an NHL franchise as co-tenant. Hansen grounded his lofty goals with a commitment of at least $300 million from his own deep pockets, and in June announced a partnership with the ultimate big-bucks baller, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, and two Nordstroms, with more big names to come—potentially the richest ownership group in the NBA and one of the wealthiest in professional sports. The Oklahoma City Thunder are a monument to Howard Schultz’s greed, David Stern’s indifference, Clay Bennett’s duplicity, and local politicians’ complicity. Seattle SuperSonics 2.0 (eventually) will be a testament to Chris Hansen’s generosity, loyalty, and commitment—and to the passion of a wounded fan base that never stopped believing. MichaeL

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Best Bowling Alley

With apologies to the boutiquey Garage, there are but two remaining full-on bowling alleys located within Seattle proper: West Seattle Bowl and AMF Imperial Lanes toward the north end of Rainier Avenue. Both are fine establishments, but neither has a casino or legitimately kickass Asian cuisine. ROXbURY LANES, just south of the Seattle city limit, has both, in addition to the obligatory pin-smashing holey balls. Until the city’s bowling alleys are permitted

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Mariners general manager Jack Zduriencik likes to say that the best trades are the ones that make both teams better. By that standard, this ain’t one of ’em . . . so far. Seattle’s next big bat arrived in January, when the MARINERS SENT STARTING PITCHER MICHAEL PINEDA, an All-Star as a rookie in 2011, TO NEW YORK FOR JESUS MONTERO, the Yankees’ top power-hitting prospect. Losing the 23-year-old Pineda, who threw effortlessly in the mid-to-high-90s, struck out more than a batter an inning, and seemed poised on the edge of stardom, was stunning. But the real shocker came in spring training, when the 6-foot-7 right-hander was diagnosed with tendinitis in his right shoulder, then tore the labrum in that shoulder during rehab and underwent season-ending surgery. His career is on hold, his future uncertain. Meanwhile, Montero has tentatively established himself in the middle of Seattle’s lineup, splitting time between catcher and designated hitter and flashing the

raw power to leave any part of Safeco Field. It probably won’t happen this year, but if the 22-year-old Venezuelan stays healthy, he’ll break the season record for home runs by a Seattle catcher (it’s only 19), and eventually become the first Mariner to hit 35 homers in a season since Richie Sexson belted 39 in 2005. Be sure to thank the next Yankee fan you see.

GREAT ESCAPES

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

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PHILLIP'S CLEANERS 2011 Best of Seattle winner for Best Cleaners 1000 E. Madison, Seattle on First Hill 206.328.1100 Monday-Friday 7am-7pm Saturday 9am-5pm Sunday closed

Join us for a fun run/walk to support Japanese Gulch! When? Saturday, August 11th, 2012 Where? Rosehill Community Center 304 Lincoln Avenue, Mukilteo, WA Family and Pet friendly event

best of seattle 2012

Sports & Recreation

to add casinos to their floor plan, Roxbury will continue to stick its tongue out at them from the south. Mike Seely 2823 S.W. Roxbury St., 935-7400, roxburylanes.com

Best Park

SOUNDVIEW TERRACE measures onethird of an acre, which means it’s puny even by the surrounding Queen Anne neighborhood’s backyard standards. But the tiny park, wedged between two slim streets, has room for a play set with slides and boasts an outstanding view of the Cascades. Even better, it’s bisected by a staircase that served as my training grounds for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Big Climb, making the park a potent reminder that with 400 parks and open spaces in the city, nearly every imaginable location and activity niche—no matter how narrow—is admirably filled. HANNA RASkiN 2500 11th Ave. W, 684-4075, seattle.gov/parks

Best Dog Park

$25-Adult $15-Youth under 12. Registrants recieve a Trail-a-Muk T-Shirt

Please register online at: www.trailamuk.eventbrite.com Japanese Gulch Group is a 501c3 non-profit organization and all donations are tax-deductible.

or contact us at info@japanesegulch.org.

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Best Picnic Spot

Sailing Adventures

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Sailing lessons, romantic date nights, & Custom adventures

Most dogs, like most humans, love the beach. Unfortunately, virtually every stretch of sand in Seattle is marked with a sign that threatens dog owners with a hefty fine for releasing their hounds. One of the many amenities of the sprawling off-leash area at MAGNUSON PARK is a stretch of Lake Washington shoreline where pooches can romp in the sand with reckless abandon like they’re on spring break in Cabo. If the crowds are thick or the weather crap, there are nine fenced-in acres for you and Fido to roam freely in, along with gated play areas dedicated specifically for small and shy dogs. But during the summer months, the beach—the only dog-friendly one inside city limits—is the place to be. keeGAN HAMilTON

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One part of LINCOLN PARK feels cozy and breathtaking at the same time—two qualities seldom found together, but just what you need for the ultimate outdoor dining experience. Here’s what you need to know. Heading south on Fauntleroy Way Southwest, drive past the main entrance to the park and turn into the next parking lot. Right away you’ll see an expansive lawn nestled by evergreens (providing the coziness). There’s a playground off to one side where kids can play. As it happens, though, the lawn sits on a bluff just above Puget Sound, which beckons thrillingly from the pastoral scene on top. When you’re done eating, head down the short path to the beach for a postprandial walk among the driftwood. NiNA SHApiRO

Best Place to Hike

So you want to work up a sweat, see some spectacular scenery, and not leave the city. Where do you go? Seattle is blessed by wonderful parks, and many of them offer lovely walks through the trees. But if you really want something that feels like a hike, head to DISCOVERY PARK. A 2.8-mile loop trail has you climbing up and down, through forest and onto a beach, and offers killer views. Start at the south parking lot and head across the meadows to the bluffs overlooking Puget Sound. Feel the awe. Then descend through the trees to the beach and head north past the lighthouse. Have

a picnic, look for sea creatures, or play among the driftwood. Then work your way back up and around through the forest. NiNA SHApiRO

Best Place to Jog

If you’re planning to run, it hardly matters where you go, since you’re likely to be more focused on your heart-rate monitor than the scenery. But if it’s a true jog you’re chasing, few venues are more suitable than DISCOVERY PARK, where the fast-changing surroundings can make you feel as though you’ve covered far more than 2.8 miles. You’re in the woods! You’re near the water! And it’s all so beautiful that you just might make the loop twice. HANNA RASkiN 3801 Discovery Park Blvd., 386-4236, seattle.gov/parks/environment/ discovery.htm

Best Place to Skate

Seattle skateboarders were stoked when JEFFERSON PARK SKATEPARK opened in Beacon Hill last January, and it’s easy to see why. With the deepest bowl in Seattle, several smaller ones, and an elevated dish that looks like it’s floating, Jefferson Park has quickly become the city’s premier park. Also: It’s the only one where skaters can shred after dark. SARAH elSON 3801 Beacon Ave. S.

Best Public Pool

Located along the beach at Lincoln Park, COLMAN POOL offers the best setting of any such facility in the city, hands down. You can have a picnic before or after you swim (see Best Picnic Spot), or just enjoy the view on the walk from the park entrance. The pool’s other great distinguishing feature is that it’s filled with heated salt water. Let’s face it, that’s probably the closest you’re going to come to dunking in sea water in this region, unless you belong to a polar-bear club or are trying to prove something. Kids will also enjoy the giant slide. NiNA SHApiRO 8603 Fauntleroy Way S.W. , 684-7494, seattle.gov/ parks/aquatics/colman.htm

Best Urban Bike Ride

A warning to pedaling users of Google Maps: If you’re headed from Eastlake to Capitol Hill, you may be routed through ThE COLONNADE, a sprawling mountain-bike fun park that you have no business approaching without a helmet, crash pads, and dual suspension. In other words: Turn back, townies. But if you’ve come to ride, you can do no better than this extraordinary technical-skills site, with its ingenious ramps and jumps assembled by a dedicated volunteer crew. Few non-cyclists know about the park, which is probably for the best: Imagine how quickly the frustrations of car captives on I-5 would multiply if they knew daredevils were flying beneath them. HANNA RASkiN 1600 Lakeview Blvd., 233-1509

Best Weekend Getaway

There’s a reason TREEhOUSE POINT is booked months in advance throughout the entire summer: Staying in a tree house is rad. The small getaway is a favorite for honeymooners or the romantically inclined (read: kind of sappy), thanks in large part to the scenic, woodsy locale and the literally

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Our thanks to everyone who has voted Mud Bay Top Dog South Sound Magazine Best Pet Store 2012

Seattle Weekly Best Pet Store 2011

425 Magazine Best Bet Store 2012

King5 Best of Western Washington Best Pet Supplies 2011

Kent Reporter Best Pet Store 2012 KOMO Community Best Pet Store in Greenwood/Phinney 2011

Best of North Shore Best Pet Store 2011 KOMO Community Best Pet Store in Kent 2011

The Feeling is Mutual

We think you’re the best too, and are always so impressed by the dedication you bring to helping your dogs and cats lead long and healthy lives. Contributing to the health of your dogs and cats is the reason we’re here, and we’d like to humbly say “thank you” for entrusting us with that partnership.

e look forward to another wonderful year of working with you to help your animals thrive.

Mud Bay has been helping dog and cat owners feed healthy food to their animals since 1988. With more than 695 healthy foods to choose from, our trained staff can help you choose just the right one for your dog or cat. Visit us at any of our 23 Puget Sound locations. www.mudbay.us

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

We would also like to recognize the hardworking and dedicated staff in our stores for their role in earning

your trust. Their passion for learning about dog and cat nutrition, physiology, behavior and health as well as their commitment to finding solutions to the problems that arise when caring for dogs and cats is at the heart of what we do.

best of seattle 2012 babbling river that serenades visitors. And did I mention you get to sleep in a treehouse? Really, the only thing slightly sketchy about TreeHouse Point is the walk across the suspension bridge to get to the resort’s mostraved-about home of all, Temple of the Moon. Well, and that the in-treehouse bathrooms are only for middle-of-the-night emergencies. But once you get past these two small details—which are kind of endearing, if you think about it—TreeHouse Point is all upside. MATT DRISCOLL 6922 Preston-Fall City Rd. S.E.,

Issaquah, 425-441-8087, treehousepoint.com

Best Month to Be in Seattle

Last year August took home this award. But that’s like the Miami Heat winning an NBA championship—anticlimactic, unless the other option is the Oklahoma City Thunder. And JULY in Seattle is no OKC. It doesn’t deserve constant second billing to the month that follows. It doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. Did you realize that on average, July is Seattle’s warmest month? Or that there’s slightly less rain, on average, in July than in August? Of course you didn’t, because you were too busy swooning over August. Now you know. So what’s the best thing about July in Seattle? That’s easy: that August is still to come. MATT DRISCOLL

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Best Month to Leave Seattle

Seattleites may complain about “Juneuary,” but our mild summer months make us the envy of the rest of the roasting country. The trade-off— and what we have every right to bitch and moan about—are the months of endless drizzle, none worse than FEBRUARY. January at least offers the chance of snow, March the occasional cloud break. February, though, is the soggy blanket that gives Seattle weather a bad name. It’s the reason out-of-towners stay away, and why you should flee to the mountains, the desert, or the tropics. KEEGAN HAMILTON

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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Best Reason to Look Forward to Summer

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How many times have you looked into the distance where you know there’s a majestic mountain, but seen nothing but gray clouds? And you may have asked yourself: What’s the good of living among astonishing nature if you can’t actually see it? But then you remember summer, when the skies finally clear and MOUNT RAINIER COMES INTO VIEW from the humblest of arterials. Just taking the bus across town becomes a near-religious experience. NINA SHApIRO

Best Reason to Look Forward to Winter Location: Location: Location:

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A few years ago, while Maritime Brewery was moving its operations in Ballard, the famous JOLLY ROGER CHRISTMAS ALE didn’t get released on time. Drinkers got vicious. Maritime doesn’t just put out a seasonal ale, it’s created an event. For thousands of drinkers around Puget Sound, its high-octane warmer has become as much a part of the holidays as long underwear and SmartWool socks. It’s an accomplishment for any microbrew to stick out among the thickening herd, and in the ranks of winter beers, Jolly Roger has no peers. CHRIS KORNELIS 1111 N.W. Ballard Way, 782-6181, maritimebrewery.com

best of seattle 2012

Fantagraphics 67 Father John Misty 73 February 94 Federal Army & Navy Surplus 69 Field, Lucas 73 Fielder, Jeff 74 Fin Records 71 Fisher, Ben 74 Flynn, Matt 85 “From Fields to Family” at Wing Luke Museum 32 The Fucking Eagles 74 Full Tilt 52 Georgetown Music Store 68 Glasshouse 34 Hansen, Chris 14, 89 Harbor City 48 Hattie’s Hat 81 Haute Yoga Queen Anne 69 Havana 79 Hernandez, Felix 85 Hooverville 83 Horsey, David 32 Hotel Seattle 23 Huard, Brock 35 Il Corvo 56 The Independent Pizzeria 57 “Inflate-a-Pitch” at CenturyLink 23 Inn at Lucky Mud 21 Irvine, Ron 62 Jack’s Fish Spot 58 Jazz Alley 78 Jefferson Park Skatepark 92 Jenkins, Austin 39 Johnson, Eddie 85 Jolly Roger Christmas Ale 94 Jones, Phoenix 17 July 94 Jung, Mimi 39 The Kangaroo & Kiwi 79 Katsu Burger 44 Kau Kau 44 Kelley, Walter 39 Kemp, Shawn 85 Kent 25 Keriakedes, Drew 71 Kerry Park 27 KeyArena 74 Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park 32 La Conasupo Market 61 La Medusa 52 Erik Larson’s In the Garden of Beasts 34 Lava Lounge 79 Le Gourmand 57 LeMay Car Museum 24 Licata, Nick 17 Lincoln Park 92 Little Water Cantina 83 Lloyd, Bruce 78 LloydMartin 56 Local Sightings Film Festival 35 Locke, Gary 14 Lunchbox Laboratory 56 Magnuson Park 92 Magus Books 67 Mahoney, Cormac 44 Mama’s Mexican’s Elvis Room 48 Mansen, Peter and Jon 44 Maraqopa 71 Marcello Ristorante 52 Mariners trade Pineda to Yankees 89 Market Arms 83 Marjorie 25 Maryhill Museum 25 Mastro, Michael 14 Mawadda 56 Maximilien 56 May Thai 61 McLendon’s 67 McDonald’s at the ferry terminal 48 Metropolitan Grill 61 Mezcaleria Oaxaca 56 M.I.A Gallery 34 M.I.A Gallery’s inaugural spring show 34 Minard, Everett 21 The Mix 74 Montlake Bike Shop 65

Morlot, Ludovic 29 Mount Pleasant Cemetery 23 Mt. Rainier 94 Museum of History and Industry 32 The Neptune 74 Next to Nature 68 The New 9th District 18 Nonsequitur 29 Northlake Tavern 57 “NWO” 71 Off the Rez 51 O’shan 61 Pete’s Wine Shop 62 Pike Place Bakery 43 Pike Place Market 24 Plaka Estiatorio 51 Plum Bistro 61 Pony 79 Posse 72 Price, Keith 88 Proletariat Pizza 79 Rainier Valley Post 18 Rhapsody 78 RN74 58 The Roanoke 81 RockSport 78 “The Rolling Stones” 72 Rose, David 39 Route 48 21 Roxbury Lanes 89 Rozich, Stacey 32 Saving Aimee 32 Schmid, Sigi 88 Schram, Ken 18 Seattle Art Museum 25 Seattle Arts & Lectures 35 Seattle Central Library’s Atrium Outlook 27 Seattle Opera’s simulcast of M. Butterfly 29 Seattle Youth Violence Prevention Initiative 18 Seatown 84 Señor Moose 84 Seward Park 24 The Sexton 78 Shell Station 51 Silver Platters 67 Sleeping 27 Sluggers 83 The Smoke Shop 83 SoDo 24 Song Sparrow Research 73 Sound Spirits 52 Soundview Terrace 92 Starbucks 67 Starfire 88 Stephens, Shannon 71 Sun, Cy 17 Sunset Avenue 27 Szechuan Chef 48 Szmania’s 51 Tacoma Mall 68 Tarasco 81 Tasty Thursday 89 Tat’s 56 Taylor Shellfish 58 Teen Tix 23 Terrace Lounge 84 THEESatisfaction 73 Thomas, Peggy Sue 14 Thousands 72 Time Out Sports Bar 78 Top Pot 57 TreeHouse Point 92 Tulalip Resort’s T-Spa 69 Two Bells 44 Tyttebar 84 Umpqua Bank 65 Uncle Thurms Soul Food 58 Underwood, Queen 88 Velvet, Rex 17 Vermillion 34 Vito’s 81 Waterfront 25 Wedgwood Broiler 57 Whitehead, Chryssie 29 White Horse Trading Company 79 The Zig Zag 84

Available for iPhone and Android! Best Of…

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Best Of Seattle Is Now On The Go ®

Download our iPhone or Android app by searching “BestOf” on iTunes or Android Market Want to know on the go where to find the Best of Seattle? Our free app, available for the iPhone and Android, crams the entire BEST OF SEATTLE issue right into your smartphone. You can discover which spot is closest to you, check in via Facebook to show your friends your good taste, and, next year, vote on locations for our Readers’ Poll — all from your phone. With the app, it’s easy to look up 2012’s winners in 260-plus categories as well as more than a dozen past issues. There’s dining, nightlife, culture, recreation, and more. The Best Of app features an editorially curated selection of places that make the city an amazing playground both for locals and visitors. Traveling outside the Emerald City? The app also features Best Of winners in cities such as New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Denver, Houston, and other cities.

Scan the code at the left with your iPhone or Android to download the app. Or head to the iTunes or Android Market and search for “BestOf”.

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

104.5 35 The 5 Point 44 Akita, Alex 89 A La Mode Pies 57 Aladdin Falafel Corner 52 Aniak 14 Annapurna Cafe 52 Armstrong, K. and Berens, M.J. 39 Arndt, Denis 29 Ba Bar 61 Baby Ketten 81 The Bagel Deli 43 Ballard Avenue Northwest 23 Ballard Liquor and Wine 68 Banya 5 68 Barnes & Noble 65 Bell, Knut 72 Belle, Rachel 34 Bennett, Clay 17 Bhy Kracke Park 23 Big Al’s Brewing 44 Blind Pig Bistro 58 Blue Highway Games 67 Boat Street Cafe 57 Boka 51 Book Larder 67 Borracchini’s Bakery 68 Brite Futures 72 Brooks, Ed 74 Browne, John Henry 21 Bumbershoot 35 Burgess, Tim 17 Burien Goodwill 69 Cafe Flora 61 Café Presse 52 Calabro, Kevin 88 Calamity Jane’s 44 Canlis 57 Canon 81 Capitol Hill Seattle Blog 18 Carlile, Brandi 74 Carroll, Pete 21 Cauliflower 58 Cave Singers 73 Celtic Swell 81 Central Co-Op’s Madison Market 51 Chartreuse 65 Chelan Cafe 48 Cherry Street Coffeehouse 48 Chino’s 62 The Chocolate Market 48 Chuck E. Cheese 25 Cinerama 35 Clybourne Park 29 Collins Pub 83 Colman Pool 92 The Colonnade 92 Columbia City 24 Columbia City Bakery 43 Columbia City Farmers Market 51 The Confectional’s mini-cheesecakes 48 Connelly, Joel 35 Coriolanus 32 The Coterie Room 84 Dante’s Inferno Dogs 52 Davis, Marquis 88 Dancing Bare 84 The Dead Kenny Gs 73 Deck the Hall Ball 78 Deep Sea Diver 73 Delicatus 58 Detective Agency 72 Discovery Park 92 DJ Sad Bastard 74 Dot’s Delicatessen 48 Douglas, C.R. 39 Downtown Bremerton Starbucks 61 The Dray 79 Dreamgirls at Rick’s 24 Dude York 72 Dynamic Priced Tickets 89 Easy Street West Seattle 67 Eddy, Tom 71 Elliott Bay Brewery 78 El Paisano 56 Emerald Queen Casino 23 Everyday Athlete 68

Index of Winners (staff PIcks)

51st

A Place in the Fun

250 Street Artisans 2 Music Stages Regional/Ethnic Food Fine Art Exhibition Kids Activities Demonstrating Artists B eer/Wine Gardens

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MEET THE AUTHOR! RUSSELL POTTER TUESDAY, AUGUST 7 AT 7PM PYG : THE MEMOIRS OF TOBY, THE LEARNED PIG (Penguin) Blending sophisticated satire and charming exuberance, Pyg tells the story of Toby, a truly exceptional pig. After escaping the butcher's knife, Toby tours the country, wowing circus audiences with his abilities to count, spell, and read minds. He goes on to study at Oxford and Edinburgh before finally writing his own life story.

EMILY GIFFIN WHERE WE BELONG (St. Martin’s)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 10 AT 6:30PM

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Join us for a girls night out with best-selling author Emily Giffin. The blockbuster novelist delivers an unforgettable story of two women and the longing, loyalty, and love that binds them. Signing line tickets are required for entry into the signing line, receive your signing line ticket with your purchase of Where We Belong at Third Place Books.

IVAN DOIG THE BARTENDER’S TALE (Riverhead)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21 AT 7PM

From a great American storyteller comes the story of a one-of-a-kind father and his precocious son, rocked by a time of change. Beloved local author Ivan Doig wonderfully captures how the world becomes bigger and the past becomes more complex in the last moments of childhood. Purchase your copy of The Bartender’s Tale from Third Place Books and receive a signing line ticket, no purchase required to attend the reading, customers bringing their books from home will be placed in line after ticket holders.

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the»weekly»wire COMEDY

In With a Bang

Anything but an ordinary TV chat show, IFC’s Comedy Bang! Bang! has built on the podcast success and eccentric questioning of its host, Scott Aukerman. He started CB!B! over a decade ago as a stage show, with most of L.A.’s alt-comics dropping by; after various name changes, it then became a podcast with still more boldface names visiting; now it’s a comedy tour augmented by his regular TV guests, Paul F. Tompkins and James Adomian. (Sorry, but Reggie Watts won’t be joining them, though half the show will be recorded for future podcast.) Aukerman favors a long, loose, conversational style of comedy. Improv and absurd nonsequiturs gradually creep in, but never with fanfare. (Kurt Braunohler of IFC’s improv comedy show Bunk will open.) The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org, $19. 8 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

thurs/8/2 MUSIC

The Scorpion’s Kiss

Nicolas Winding Refn’s stylish neo-noir Drive was a critical and popular hit last year for several reasons. Men loved the cars, heists, and hit men. Women loved Ryan Gosling as the steely, Steve McQueen–like wheelman in the satin scorpion jacket. Then there was the dreamy ’80s Europop score, composed by former Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Cliff Martinez and augmented by synth-pop artists DJ Kavinsky and CSS frontwoman Lovefoxxx. It proved so popular that now we have The Drive Tour, which features College

The Japanese Garden in the Arboretum is already a wonderful place to slow down, but when butoh artist Joan Laage and her ensemble perform there in Wandering and Wondering, you’ll be able to feel your blood pressure drop and your shoulders un-kink. The garden is designed for contemplation, which makes it a natural setting for a butoh performance, the eccentrically beautiful 20th-century Japanese dance form that can take slowness to an entirely new level. Laage’s thoughtful exploration of that environment makes us all more aware of our feet on the ground, our head in the sky, and the rest of our body somewhere in between. Seattle Japanese Garden, 1075 Lake Washington Blvd. E., 684-4725, seattle.gov/parks. $4–$6. 1 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ SEAFAIR

OPERA

Some Like It Loud

Girl of the Golden East

sat/8/4 DANCE

Some Like It Quiet

And then a shrieking cut through the sky, the afterburners lit, the children screamed, and the men remembered how Top Gun once

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Newman (left) and Redford play the long con in The Sting.

Of Puccini’s two forays into Orientalism, Madama Butterfly is the one that makes a stab (ha ha) at realism—or at least at verismo, the

FRI: FILM

It was the year after Watergate, in the thick of the Vietnam War, and Americans were fed up with corruption and lies. Yet the second biggest movie released in 1973 (after The Exorcist), winner of seven Oscars, was all about crime and deception. The robbers were the good guys, and they were stealing from a rich golfing gangster (Robert Shaw) during the height of the Great Depression. It helped, of course, that the two con artists were played by Robert Redford and Paul Newman, but the success of The Sting goes beyond star power and David S. Ward’s clever script. Directed by George Roy Hill, The Sting is very much a platoon movie, a guys-on-a-mission flick. Newman carefully assembles his crew, and they execute their long con with practiced precision. The Sting is a movie about competence and loyalty—how a bunch of small-timers pull off one great score. At the time, Detroit couldn’t make decent cars and Nixon had just declared “I am not a crook.” Though set during hard times, The Sting nostalgically celebrates the old American can-do spirit. There’s a cheerful camaraderie in larceny, a partial reprise of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (also directed by Hill). And there’s a pride in living outside the law. Says Newman, “There’s no point being a grifter if it’s the same as being a citizen.” (Through Thurs.) Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusioncinema.org. $5–$8. 6:30 & 9 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

Dancer Kaoru Okumura is a member of Laage’s butoh troupe.

overheated Italian subgenre that tried to show a grittier side of life while still giving audiences the high C’s they craved. But the other, Turandot , is pure fairy tale: based on a 1762 commedia dell’arte play adapted, in turn, from an ancient “Thousand and One Nights” legend. Butterfly designers almost always attempt to plausibly recreate a Japanese house (paper screens, Mt. Fuji in the distance, etc.); Turandot designers are limited only by their budget. (Smoking opium while sketching is recommended.) André Barbe’s sets and costumes for Seattle Opera’s production, opening tonight, look appropriately over-thetop—drenched in blood-red, naturally, for this tale of the virginal princess who, vowing never to wed, kills any spousal candidate who can’t answer three riddles. Asher Fisch, who’s worked miracles with the Seattle Symphony in Wagner and Strauss, conducts; sopranos Lori Phillips and Marcy Stonikas share the title role; and Antonello Palombi and Luis Chapa alternate as Calaf, the tenor hero. He’s the character who gets the opera’s soaring signature tune, “Nessun dorma”—and also gets to be judged by an audience who all know the aria by heart. Hopefully we’ll treat him less cruelly than Turandot treats her suitors. (Through Aug. 18.) McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St. (Seattle Center), 389-7676, seattleopera.org. $25 and up. 7:30 p.m. GAVIN BORCHERT

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Crime Pays

LEIGH EWBANK

wed/8/1

made them want to fly, too. (But instead: a career in IT.) Yes, it’s that time of summer: Seafair Weekend, with the hydros practicing on Friday, racing today and Sunday, and the Blue Angels swooping overhead. Leave town and go hiking if you want peace and solitude. Otherwise drag your inner tube and ice chest full of beer down to the lake and submit to the sunburn, group inebriation, and hearing damage. Many other planes and even a few helicopters will fill the sky south of I-90, but for us the highlight comes at 1:40 p.m., when the six U.S. Navy flyboys perform their routine. You can still be opposed to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan while gasping in awe at the aerial acrobatics. Are taxes too low and military spending too high? Sure, but c’mon— that pilot is flying his aircraft upside down just a few feet above the water! Tell me you’re not impressed. Tell me that rumbling in your chest—caused by the massive twin engines of the supersonic F/A18 Hornet fighter jets—can be achieved by revving the engine of your Prius at a traffic light. I don’t think so. Stan Sayres Memorial Park, 3808 Lake Washington Blvd. S., seafair. com. $10–$40. 8:30 a.m.–6 p.m. T. BONILLA

(Frenchman David Grellier) and Canadian pop duo Electric Youth, who collaborated on Drive’s signature song, “A Real Hero.” That pulsating, dreamlike tune recurs throughout the film—most memorably in the breathtaking elevator scene where time stands still and Gosling kisses Carey Mulligan (cue mass female swooning). Last time I was in Los Angeles, I played the song on my car stereo while driving downtown at night, just to gauge the effect. It was magically transportive. Seeing the musicians perform it live should be the next best thing. (With Anoraak.) Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. $13. 8 p.m. ERIN K. THOMPSON

arts»Opening Nights Chaps!

Now – Aug 26

No Man’s Land

The Dumb Waiter

More than a month of plays, readings, films, discussions, and celebrations of the influential and outspoken British writer.

Old Times

Celebration

99 Layoffs Now – August 25

Radial Theater Project presents this new romantic comedy by Vincent Delaney about love in the time of pink slips.

The Great Soul of Russia August 14

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Readings from The Seagull Project. August is Readings from the Russian Depth of Night.

Icicle Creek Theatre Fest August 21 – 22

Seven Spots on The Sun by Martin Zimmerman and My Before and After by Michael Louis Serafin-Wells.

Uncle Ho to Uncle Sam Sept 7 – Oct 7

NNER

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acttheatre.org | (206) 292-7676 700 Union Street, Downtown Seattle

If there were an award for the local theater that most faithfully serves and delights its own particular subscriber base, I would nominate Taproot. Its loyal patrons belly-laugh at the jokes, rave about the shows while waiting in line for the loo at intermission, and often offer standing ovations at the end. Taproot’s passion for good clean fun—with a hint of spirituality— rarely challenges or skewers compared to other Seattle theater companies, but that’s just dandy with the regulars, as evidenced by the reception to the musical comedy Chaps!. Dateline: London, 1944. A visiting American cowboy band misses its live gig at the BBC, so reluctant radio staff must impersonate the dogie-wranglers, joined by the band’s plucky manager Mabel (Caitlin Macy-Beckwith). The jaundiced Brits, initially loath to perform, eventually warm to it, entertaining the troops and brave citizens under Nazi attack. The thin story caulks together 21 vintage country-Western songs, jauntily arranged by Malcolm Hillgartner and Chip Duford. Richard Lorig’s set puts the singers out front, personable yet mute soundman Stan (Solomon Davis) in the middle, and a bass/fiddle/guitar trio behind. The audience plays the BBC studio audience, obeying an “Applause” light and sometimes clapping along. Aside from a few air raids and a microromance, not much happens except the rollicking musical numbers. Oh, and a few painfully creaky jokes. Tex: “Have you ever punched cows?” Miles: “I would never hit an animal.” The talented Ian Lindsay scores some laughs as the radio station’s sourpuss prig manager; otherwise Chaps! plays like a two-hour musical compendium from A Prairie Home Companion. Director Karen Lund conjures a mood of shared wartime sacrifice all but extinct in our present wartime era of draftlessness and drones. There’s no American Idol spotlight-seeking in this show; soldiers are brave, but so are the terrified non-performers pushed out of their comfort zones. That this ragtag bunch manages to pull it off yields a wholesome message: Everyone has something of value to offer the group. Though that moral would launch like a lead balloon on most other stages in town, at Taproot it’s celebrated like V-E Day. MARGARET FRIEDMAN

ERIK STUHAUG

TAPROOT THEATRE, 204 N. 85TH ST., 781-9707, TAPROOTTHEATRE.ORG. $15–$37. 7:30 P.M. WED.–THURS., 8 P.M. FRI., 2 & 8 P.M. SAT. ENDS AUG. 11.

Fake Brits play fake cowboys in Chaps! Left to right: William Hamer, Simon Pringle, and Sam Vance.

099-PERFORMANCE-1

P Rent

5TH AVENUE THEATRE, 1308 FIFTH AVE., 625-1418, 5THAVENUE.ORG. $29 AND UP. RUNS TUES.–SUN. THROUGH AUG. 19.

How much do I like Rent? Well, when we buried my mother on the very day Barack Obama was elected president, I chose “Seasons of Love” to close her funeral. If that’s not an endorsement, I don’t know what is. That said, there’s much else to recommend about this revival of the Pulitzer-winning 1996 musical, including a scrappy, mostly local cast that blends better than any of the four previous ensembles I’ve seen. There’s also an earnest effort to mine what little humor can be found in Jonathan Larson’s bleak period piece (inspired by Puccini’s La bohème), set in New York at the nadir of the AIDS epidemic among those we might today call the 99 percent.

However, director Bill Berry has also coated Larson’s often-naked rage with a thick sheen of nostalgia, and not all art should be prettified. I miss the grit and spit that made Rent such a relevant hit in its heyday. In fact, Berry’s Rent calls to mind the touring production of Hair that visited the Paramount two years ago, a lighter-than-air confection of silly psychedelia. Both shows are now historical curios that, in order to fill big houses, soften their politics—here meaning homelessness, drugs, and HIV—in favor of pure entertainment. And yet taken on its own merits, I’d rather watch Berry’s Rent-lite every night for the remainder of its run than sit once more through Chris Columbus’ emotionally bankrupt 2005 film adaptation. What Berry gets right here is very right, indeed. He and musical director R.J. Tancioco elicit one pitch-perfect performance after another from the vocally well-matched cast. That ensemble includes Aaron C. Finley as frustrated musician Roger, Naomi Morgan as his smack-addict dancer girlfriend Mimi, Logan Benedict as their slumlord schoolmate Benny, Brandon O’Neill as anarchist Tom, and Daniel Berryman as filmmaker/witness Mark, here given a WASPy outsider spin. Particular standouts for me were Jerick Hoffer, ringing all the right bells as drag queen Angel and looking like the child of Ziggy Stardust and Wilma Flintstone; and Ryah Nixon as Mark’s ex, Maureen, who offers the best “Over the Moon” I’ve yet heard onstage. Sadly, star-crossed lovers Finley and Morgan can’t quite get traction in their duets. Despite fine voices, they’re so far apart emotionally that you’ll wonder if the Seattle Freeze originated in the East Village. In Daniel Cruz’s choreography, dancers weave in and out of Tom Sturge’s lighting like flecks of color in a kaleidoscope. The show faithfully reflects composer/librettist Larson’s original mélange of influences—a delicious clash between Broadway melodies and grunge-era pop punk. But why the live five-piece band is so muted is a mystery to me, especially having heard other musicals fill the 5th with glorious cacophony. Rent is a rock musical. Why not crank it? KEVIN PHINNEY E

stage@seattleweekly.com

arts»Performance CHAPS! SEE REVIEW, PAGE 98. DEMONIC PHENOMENA Blood Squad and Balagan’s

BY GAVIN BORCHERT

Stage OPENINGS & EVENTS

ANNA IN THE TROPICS Latino Theatre Projects and

Burien Little Theatre collaborate on Nilo Cruz’ Cuban take on Anna Karenina. Burien Little Theater, S.W. 146th St. and Fourth Ave. S.W., Des Moines, 242-5180, latinotheatreprojects.org, burienlittletheatre.org. $7–$20. Opens Aug. 3. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Aug. 26. ANYTHING GOES The Cole Porter classic. West Seattle High School, 3000 California Ave., 800-838-3006, twelfth nightproductions.org. $15–$18. Opens Aug. 4. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., also 3 p.m. Sun., Aug. 12 & 19. Ends Aug. 19. BURLESCO DIVINO: WINE IN ROME Lily Verlaine and Jasper McCann’s revue takes you on an Italian tour, from the age of the Caesars to the swingin’ ’60s. (8 p.m. shows 17 and over; 10:30 p.m. shows 21 and over.) The Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, landofthesweets. com. $25–$35. 8 p.m. Wed., Aug. 8.; 8 & 10:30 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 9–Fri., Aug. 10. CALLING NANCY DREW

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Catherine Bush and Gary Bartholomew’s new musical updates the teen sleuth to the ’90s. Presented by STAGEright Theatre. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave. S., 800838-3006, seattlestageright. org. $15. Opens Aug. 3. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends Aug. 18.

THE CELTIC CROSS

Matthew Jackson’s play about the Troubles. The Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave. E., 325-5105. $15–$20. Opens Aug. 2. Runs Thurs.–Sat.; see washingtonensemble.org for exact schedule. Ends Aug. 18. COMEDY BANG! BANG! SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 97. DRIVING MISS DAISY Alfred Uhry’s heart-warmer. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 800-838-3006, reacttheatre.org. $6–$15. Opens Aug. 3. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., plus 2 p.m. Sat. starting Aug. 11. Ends Aug. 25. EL ULTIMO COCONUT A coming-of-age tale about a Mexican-American cyber-nerd. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$10. 8 p.m. Tues.–Wed. Ends Aug. 22. LILIOM A reading of Ferenc Molnár’s 1909 fantasy, the basis for Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Carousel. West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., endangeredspeciesproject.org. Donation. 7 p.m. Mon., Aug. 6. 99 LAYOFFS Vincent Delaney’s two-actor, multiplecharacter play explores the seriocomic world of contemporary joblessness. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, acttheatre.org. $5–$25. Opens Aug. 2. 8:30 p.m. Thurs.– Sat., plus 2:30 p.m. Sat., Aug. 4, 11, 18. Ends Aug. 25. SPIN THE BOTTLE Annex Theatre’s August variety show includes “melancholy video,” “ribald, rollicking smut,” and plenty more. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$10. 11 p.m. Fri., Aug. 3.

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CURRENT RUNS

• ACCIDENTAL DEATH OF AN ANARCHIST

Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

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•SALLY AND THOR SAVE THE WORLD (AT

SUMMER CAMP) Balagan throws myths and fairy

tales into a blender in their new family show. Free. Plays weekends at 2 p.m. at various area parks; see balagantheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Aug. 11. TEATRO ZINZANNI: GANGSTERS OF LOVE Improv cutup Frank Ferrante is back as Caesar; Dietrich-like beauty Dreya Weber plays his long-lost amore Myrna. Music is provided by Francine Reed and Orchestra DeVille. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $106 and up. Runs through Sept. 30; see zinzanni.org for exact schedule. WOODEN O Seattle Shakes presents Twelfth Night and The Winter’s Tale in repertory through Aug. 12. Free performances Wed.–Sun. in several area parks; see seattleshakespeare.org for exact schedule.

Dance

SEATTLE FESTIVAL OF DANCE IMPROVISATION

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Velocity faculty perform in “Off the Cuff.” Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, velocitydancecenter. org. $10–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 2. KOGUT BUTOH SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 97.

Classical, Etc.

• FREE FORM FLUTE Avant-music from three flutists:

Clifford Dunn, John Savage, and Robert Dick. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., clifford dunnmusic.com. $5–$15. 8 p.m. Wed., Aug. 1. WHIDBEY ISLAND MUSIC FESTIVAL Two weekends of early (pre-Beethoven) music. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat. at St. Augustine’s in the Woods, 5217 S. Honeymoon Bay Rd.; 3 p.m. Sun. at Greenbank Farm, 765 Wonn Rd. Aug. 3 & 5 Vocal music from Italy. Aug. 4 Music from imperial Vienna. whidbeyislandmusicfestival.org. OLYMPIC MUSIC FESTIVAL This weekend, Beethoven, Prokofiev, Brahms. Olympic Music Festival, Center Road, Quilcene, 360-732-4800, olympicmusicfestival.org. $14– $20 lawn, $18–$30 barn. 2 p.m. Sat., Aug. 4–Sun., Aug. 5. BYRON SCHENKMAN Chamber music of Beethoven and Schumann from this keyboardist and friends. Green Lake United Methodist Church, 6415 First Ave. N.E., 526-2900. 8 p.m., Sat., Aug. 4. SEATTLE OPERA SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 97.

•THE SWIRL OF SOUND, THE SHADOWS OF

MOVEMENT Musicians Stuart Dempster, Susie Kozawa, and Peter Joon Park respond sonically to Alan Lau’s paintings in this performance in conjunction with an exhibit. Francine Seders Gallery, 6701 Greenwood Ave. N., 782-0355, sedersgallery.com. Free. 6:30 p.m. Sun., Aug. 5.

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Committed leftist Dario Fo’s 1970 political lampoon is based on an incident in which the suspect in a bank bombing either jumped, fell, or was pushed to his death at police headquarters. Director Gabriel Baron’s terrific production for Strawshop reminds us that we never run out of reasons to be skeptical of authority, alluding to Occupy Wall Street and the federal investigation into our police department’s excessive use of force (Fo has always encouraged such topical embellishments and ad-libs). Lithe, crazed-looking Ryan Higgins’ main character, “The Maniac,” poses as a handful of lofty personages to “investigate” the suspect’s jump/fall/ push. Around him are some of Seattle’s best clowns, including Jason Harber, Tim Hyland, and Galen Joseph Osier. The late entrance of Rhonda J. Soikowski as journalist Feletti forces a final reorganization of the material into two possible endings—different, but equally macabre. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Erickson Theatre Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave., 800-838-3006, strawshop.org. $15–$30. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sun. Ends Aug. 4.

trilogy of improvised tales in the vein of Paranormal Activity. Balagan Theatre, 1117 E. Pike St., 800-838-3006, balagantheatre.org. $10. 11 p.m. Sat. Ends Aug. 4. THE GOOD TIMES ARE KILLING ME An adaptation of Lynda Barry’s graphic novel about her Seattle upbringing. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300, seattlepublictheater.org. Donation. 7 p.m. Fri., Aug. 3, 2 & 7 p.m. Sat., Aug. 4. GREENSTAGE The Taming of the Shrew and Henry VIII in repertory through Aug. 18. Free, Thurs.–Sun. in area parks; see greenstage.org for exact schedule. HANSEL AND GRETEL Sally Gander’s British panto-style version. Volunteer Park, 1247 15th Ave. E., 324-5801, schmeater.org. Free. 5 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Aug. 5. INTIMAN THEATRE FESTIVAL Director Allison Narver sets her Romeo & Juliet in an overpopulated, favela-like world, a teeming cauldron of life. Starring the always-interesting Marya Sea Kaminski as its tragic heroine, director Andrew Russell’s Hedda Gabler lacks the relevance Narver has found for Romeo. Shanley’s 2003 political comedy Dirty Story needs less doctoring to be contemporary, so director Valerie Curtis-Newton hews closely to the ingenious original script: Shawn Law and Carol Roscoe play a couple from geopolitical Hell, bound together in a bare-studs apartment. It’s so hilarious I’m seeing it again. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 800-982-2787. $30. See intiman. org for exact schedule. Ends Aug. 26. KITTENS IN A CAGE Kelleen Conway Blanchard’s comic take on women-in-prison movies. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., plus 8 p.m. Mon., Aug 13. Ends Aug. 25. PARALLEL LIVES Kathy Najimy and Mo Gaffney’s comic two-hander. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 800-838-3006, schmeater.org. $15–$23. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Aug. 11. PINTER FESTIVAL The Dumb Waiter, Celebration, Old Times, and No Man’s Land in repertory through Aug. 26, plus sketches, films, and more. See acttheatre.org for schedule. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $5–$55. RENT SEE REVIEW, PAGE 98.

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100

»REVIEW

Spinning the Oldies

This jukebox show cheerfully recycles the past. BY BRIAN MILLER

hy is this show not at EMP? My first thought upon entering the Henry’s visiting exhibition was that if Paul Allen’s 12-year-old vanity museum is to be taken seriously, it’s got to book serious shows. And the paradox is this: While The Record: Contemporary Art and Vinyl is not what I would call serious by the Henry’s standards, it’s exactly the kind of accessible, summery, and even tourist-friendly collection that might engage the masses over at Seattle Center, after they climb down from their Duck tours and before they hop aboard the monorail. It’s got music. It’s got videos. It’s got colorful album covers—some real, some fanciful—that don’t require a Ph.D. to enjoy. There are even listening stations with headphones and turntables. It’s not deep, but it’s fun—unlike SAM’s recent “The Listening Room,” Theaster Gates’ ill-thought-out history project. Still, Christian Marclay dominates “The Record” so much that it almost feels like his name should be on the marquee. With his epic, 24-hour movie compendium The Clock presently the most-discussed artwork in New York, you’d almost rather see a one-man show featuring more of his work. (Here, he’s one of nearly 40 artists displaying some 100 works from the mid-’60s onward.) Upon entering, in the first gallery on your right, a giant red phonograph arm bobs and skips over the grooves on a record. It’s a video, called Looking for Love, and you could sit there for its entire 32-minute duration—if there was a bench—to pick out the tuneful fragments. The constant interruption prevents you or the music from ever settling into a groove. And yet your ear demands a pattern, some kind of continuity, just as the eye is forever seeking to make order of the world. It’s both frustrating and hypnotic. Push farther into the show, which originated at Duke University’s Nasher Museum, and there’s Marclay’s 1985 performance video Ghost (I Don’t Live Today). In it, he reprises Hendrix’s Are You Experienced with a turntable strapped to his chest. He’s “playing” it like a guitar, in one sense, but he’s also exploring the temporal aspect of recorded music. As with every chronological increment of The Clock (in which each cinematic snippet shows the advancing time), recorded music is a twofold replication of time— and that’s true throughout “The Record.” First, all recorded music is old the second it’s done being taped or digitized or inscribed on wax cylinders. Preservation locks the music in time, and every musician’s pet peeve is to be asked to play a hit just as it sounded on the record. Recording is an inherent form of nostalgia, and “The Record” is a very nostalgic celebration of vinyl and turntables. (CDs barely figure, there’s not a cassette in sight, and forget about mp3s.) For baby boomers, the meeting of vinyl and needle is still a sacred ritual. Second, there’s the duration of a song or album itself—the progression of the needle from the record’s edge toward the spindle, the

BRIAN MILLER

The Green Skunk

arts»Visual Arts

Get into the groove? Marclay’s Looking for Love.

spooling/unspooling of the tape, the movement of the laser over the CD. (How mp3 bytes are processed, I have no idea.) It’s always the same unit, the same sequence, the same fixed length. The span of a pop single is like a cigarette, a way of measuring and consecrating time. A record’s visual interest is much more straightforward. Album covers once represented a high form of commercial art—they were a sales aid back when music was actually displayed for sale, not browse-and-clicked. But instead of presenting iconic covers by famous designers (e.g., Warhol’s banana for the Velvet Underground), curator Trevor Schoonmaker mostly goes outside the industry. A welcome example is the personal mythology illustrated by Washington, D.C., outsider artist Mingering Mike, who imagined a pop-star career for himself during the 1960s and ’70s with handmade sleeves, liner notes, and cardboard discs with grooves drawn in ink. There’s something sad, silly, and noble about them—and they’re utterly silent. Also handmade is David Byrne’s Polaroidtiled band portrait for Talking Heads’ 1978 More Songs About Buildings and Food. Like the work of Mingering Mike, it has a tactile, pre-digital quality. You can see the overlapping edges of the square photos which, when arranged into a mosaic, render the musicians with an oddly perspectived, larger-than-life quality. There are traces of Warhol and Pop Art (appropriate, since the band formed at RISD), which are more plainly stated in two paintings from Ed Ruscha’s Hit Record series. Independent of what music’s on it, a record’s round, bull’s-eye form—so like Jasper Johns’ target paintings—is a hit. There’s a visual perfection to the vinyl platter; for a halfcentury and more, the record album simply was the icon of music. Today we can’t say whether music is circular, square, or represented by 0’s and 1’s; it’s just another file on your laptop. If EMP ever did get around to hosting a similar exhibit, it should give Taiyo Kimura his own workshop and residency. Here, in his comical, whimsical sketches and video Haunted by You, he plays an LP with a chicken leg, buries a portable stereo while it’s running, and slices an apple on a moving turntable using a knife taped to his face. Tourists would love it, and so did I. E bmiller@seattleweekly.com THE RECORD: CONTEMPORARY ART AND VINYL Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 543-2280, henryart.org. $6–$10. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Wed., Sat., & Sun.; 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Thurs.–Fri. Ends Oct. 7.

arts»Visual Arts B Y M A’ C H E L L D U M A L AVA S S A R

Openings & Events JENNY ANDERSEN & STEVE SAUER Fire and

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JOURNEYS: TRAVELS IN THE NATURAL AND SPIRIT WORLDS Duane Pasco, Joan Tenenbaum, Hib

Sabin, Rick Bartow, Ann Morris, Thomas Stream, Bill Holm, Ray Dudley, Mary Snowden, and others reflect on travel between realms. First Thursday opening

Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

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Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

Imagination: Sculptures of the Earth presents the artists’ work in colorful, wood–fired ceramics. First Friday reception 6–8 p.m. The Island Gallery, 400 Winslow Way E., Bainbridge Island, 780-9500, theislandgallery.net. Opens Aug. 3. Mon.–Sat., 11 a.m.–7 p.m.; Sun., noon–5 p.m. Through Aug. 31. DAYA B. ASTOR & PATRICE DONOHUE Astor’s Flavor considers international food markets with a variety of forms. Donohue’s Wax, Paper, Scissors stitches together materials also including cloth and clay. First Thursday opening reception 5–9 p.m. Shift Collaborative Studio, 306 S. Washington St. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 547-1215, shiftstudio.org. Opens Aug. 3. Fri.–Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through Aug. 31. BAM’S FREE FIRST FRIDAY Strapped for cash? BAM offers free admission every first Friday of the month. Here’s your chance to check out the museum’s current exhibits, including Shaker crafts and African– American quilts. Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., 425–519–0770, bellevuearts.org. Free. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Fri., Aug. 3. BILL BRAUN He shows over a dozen new and colorful trompe-l’oeil paintings. First Thursday opening reception 6–8 p.m. Patricia Rovzar Gallery, 1225 Second Ave., 223-0273, rovzargallery.com. Aug. 2–31, 11 a.m.–5 p.m. LESLIE W. CAIN She shows large landscapes from east of the Cascades. Also on view: Stephanie J. Frost’s allegorical themes in oil, and work by Shigeki Tomura and Ben Beres. First Thursday reception, Aug. 2, 6–8 p.m. Davidson Galleries, 313 Occidental Ave. S., 624-1324, davidsongalleries.com. Opens Aug. 2. Tues.– Sat., 10 a.m.–5:30 p.m. Through Sept. 1. REBECCA CHERNOW AND EMMA LEVITT Working in glass and found materials, Chernow considers “what defines the American pursuit of happiness in modern times.” Levitt’s Rock|Salt + Wonder creates little landscapes in wood relief. First Thursday opening reception 5–8 p.m. Call for ongoing hours. Pratt Gallery at Tashiro Kaplan Studios, 312 S. Washington St., Ste. 1A, 328-2200, pratt.org. Aug. 2–Sept. 1. DOWNTOWN ISSAQUAH ARTWALK Venues include artEAST Art Center, Museo Art Academy, and ArtByFire. With music by Acoustic Couti, Sold Only as Curio, and Kaleidoscope School of Music. See downtownissaquah.com. 5–8 p.m. Fri., Aug. 3 & Fri., Sept. 7. EQUIVALENTS Curator W.M. Hunt selected 46 photographers from around the globe for this annual competition. His 7 p.m. lecture (at SAM, $8–$10) precedes PCNW’s opening reception at 8 p.m., Fri., Aug. 3. Photographic Center Northwest, 900 12th Ave., 720-7222, pcnw.org. $8–$10. Opens Aug. 3. Fri.–Sun., noon–8 p.m.; Mon.–Thurs., 11 a.m.–10 p.m. Through Sept. 18. CURTIS ERLINGER Working in a variety of media, the local artist proposes in Scissor Lift to “resurrect the forgotten dead through a process of translation, however impossible the attempt may be.” First Thursday opening reception 5–8 p.m. Punch Gallery, 119 Prefontaine Place S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 621-1945, punchgallery.org. Opens Aug. 2. Thurs.–Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through Sept. 1. DANAE FALLIERS Based in the Southwest, she digitally alters photographic images of the landscape captured while driving cross–country. First Thursday opening reception 5–8 p.m. Friesen Abmeyer Fine Art, 1210 Second Ave., 628-9501, friesenabmeyer.com. Opens Aug. 2. Tues.–Sat., 11 a.m.–5:30 p.m.; Sun., noon–5 p.m. Through Aug. 31. FREMONT ART WALK Venues include Activspace, Fremont Brewing Co., 509 Winery and Tasting Room, Caffé Vita, and Fremont Abbey. See fremontfirstfriday. com for participating artists. 6–9 p.m. Fri., Aug. 3. CHRISTOPHER MARTIN HOFF This memorial show honors the late local painter with his cityscapes and urban scenes. First Thursday reception 6–8 p.m. Linda Hodges Gallery, 316 First Ave. S., 624-3034, lindahodgesgallery.com. Opens Aug. 2. Tues.–Fri., 10:30 a.m.–5 p.m.; Sat., 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Aug. 25.

reception 6–8 p.m. Stonington Gallery, 119 S. Jackson St., 405-4040, stoningtongallery.com. Opens Aug. 2. Mon.–Fri., 10 a.m.–6 p.m.; Sat., 10 a.m.–5:30 p.m.; Sun., noon–5 p.m. Through Aug. 31. DEBORAH KAPOOR In Skin, she uses cow tongues and dryer sheets to create layered topographies both grotesque and beautiful. First Thursday opening reception 5–8 p.m. ArtXchange, 512 First Ave. S., 839-0377, artxchange.org. Tues.–Sat. Through Aug. 11. RUMI KOSHINO & MUGI TAKEI A Thin Thread features gouache and pencil drawings from Takei and watercolors from Koshino. First Thursday opening reception 6–8 p.m. Cullom Gallery, 603 S. Main St., 919-8278, cullomgallery.com. Wed.–Sat., noon–6 p.m. Through Aug. 18. LEAVING THE HOOD Gallery artists share their work prior to the move to a new venue. Fetherston Gallery, 818 E. Pike St., 322-9440, fetherstongallery.com. Fri., Aug. 3, 5–8 p.m. OCCUPY M.I.A Lisa Ahlberg, John Armstrong, Michael Barkin, Marilyn Montufar, Elisabeth Rudge, and Christopher L. Williams give visual commentary on the ways in which Seattle has reacted to, and continues to react to, social injustice. First Thursday artists’ reception 6–8 p.m. M.I.A Gallery, 1203 Second Ave., 467-4927, m–i–a–gallery.com. Opens Aug. 2. Tues.–Sat.. Through Sept. 1. PHOTOGRAPHIC WANDERINGS Sherry Karver, David W. Simpson, Christopher Harris, and Peter de Lory ponder the concept of wandering. First Thursday opening reception 6–8 p.m. Lisa Harris Gallery, 1922 Pike Place, 443-3315, lisaharrisgallery.com. Opens Aug. 2. Mon.–Sat., 10:30 a.m.–5:30 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Through Sept. 2. AMY PLEASANT & PAUL LEWING In Beautiful Memories, the artists explore what is precious in the quotidian details of daily life. Artists’ reception, 6–8:30 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 2. Shoreline City Hall, 17500 Midvale Ave. N., 417-4645. Opens Aug. 2. Mon.–Fri., 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Oct. 26. BRETT PORTER & LANDSCAPES UNLIMITED The main gallery exhibits his abstract acrylic paintings on wood. The Subterranean Room hosts the Landscapes Unlimited Group Show, which includes Harry Bonnette, Jeremy Brivic, Rebecca Bush, Larry Corbett, Kathi Erikson, and others. Opening reception 7–10 p.m. Sat. Aug. 4. Art/Not Terminal Gallery, 2045 Westlake Ave., 233-0680, antgallery.org. Opens Aug. 4. Mon.–Sat., 11 a.m.–6 p.m.; Sun., noon–5 p.m. Through Aug. 29. PULL Zack Bent, Chris Crites, Laurie Danial, Blake Haygood, and Harold Hollingsworth are featured in this group show. First Thursday reception 6–8 p.m. Call for ongoing hours. G. Gibson Gallery, 300 S. Washington St. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 587-4033, ggibsongallery. com. Through Aug. 17. JULIA RICKETTS & LINDA KANE Ricketts’ colorful paintings, about “a longing for communication and harmony,” are juxtaposed against Kane’s stark, large-scale charcoal drawings. Opening reception noon–5 p.m. Sat. Aug. 4. Call for ongoing hours. Patricia Cameron Gallery, 234 Dexter Ave. N., 343-9647, patriciacamerongallery.com. Opens Aug. 6. Mon.–Fri. Through Sept. 7. WILL ROBINSON Shape, Texture, Touch presents the local sculptor’s new abstract work in stone and wood. First Thursday opening reception 6–8 p.m. Call for ongoing hours. Foster/White Gallery, 220 Third Ave. S., 622-2833, fosterwhite.com. Aug. 2–31. SALAD BOWL The annual fundraiser supports PNW’s educational and artist residency programs. Ticket includes one of 250 handmade ceramic salad bowls, food from chef Robin Leventhal, drinks from bartender Joanna Schwartzkopf, a silent auction, and more. Pottery Northwest, 226 First Ave. N., 285-4421, potterynorthwest.org. $75–$500. Thurs., Aug. 2, 6–9 p.m. 16 AT 110 Jan Cook, Monika Dalkin, Sarah Dillon, Becky Frehse, Paula Maratea Fuld, and David Haughton are among those showing new work. First Thursday opening 6–8 p.m. Artists’ reception follows on Sat., Aug. 4 from 5–8 p.m. Gallery 110, 110 Third Ave. S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 624-9336, gallery110.com. Opens Aug. 2. Wed.–Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through Sept. 1. NICKI SUCEC Her installation Ascension uses old helicopter blades and other materials to explore “the ways in which humans . . . attempt to recover from and move beyond life’s challenges.” First Thursday opening reception 6–8 p.m. Gallery4Culture, 101 Prefontaine Place S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 296-7580, 4culture. org. Opens Aug. 2. Mon.–Fri., 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Aug. 31. WALLINGFORD ART WALK Participating venues and galleries include Stu Stu Studios, Fuel Coffee, Julia’s Restaurant, and Oasis Art Gallery. See wallingfordartwalk.org for full roster of attractions. 6–9 p.m. Wed., Aug. 1.

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AUGUST 3–9

TickeTs available aT www.cinerama.com

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Moonrise Kingdom

Starts August 3 | Uptown

Directed by Wes Anderson

Starts August 3 | Uptown

“THE FUNNIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR!”

Starts August 3 Uptown

—Matt Singer, IFC.com

IN 3D

Showing Daily Logos 11:00 * 2:45 * 7:00 * 11:15

Starts August 3 | Film Center

SEATTLE’S WIDEST SCREEN SUPERIOR TECHNOLOGY Fresh Chocolate Popcorn, Cupcake Royale, Theo Choc & so much more

5 Broken Cameras

2100 4TH AVENUE, SEATTLE WA • (206) 448-6680

HELD OVER: July 22–August 2 | Uptown

Your Sister’s Sister

Seattle Exclusive! August 4 & 5 Film Center

with white border—used on dark backgrounds

HELD OVER: August 3-9 Uptown Original French Version

ALL

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A Cat in Paris

August 6 | Film Center

August 8 | Film Center

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

Command Performance in HD!

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film»This Week’s Attractions OPENS FRI., AUG. 3 AT HARVARD EXIT. NOT RATED. 91 MINUTES.

What with the recent U.S. embassy standoff and flight to freedom of blind Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng, you can’t get much more timely than this documentary profile of the renowned artist, blogger, and fellow activist, who was incarcerated (and silenced thereafter) for several months last year. Those events conclude Alison Klayman’s film, which follows Ai for over a year from his Beijing home to his studio to London and Germany for big museum shows. The access—and Ai’s outspokenness on camera and via Twitter—are fairly remarkable, but he’s really an equal partner with young journalist Klayman on this project. His own camera crew and staff constantly follow him, and he’s made docs on controversial topics like the 2008 Sichuan earthquake (shoddy “tofu” school construction, government graft, 5,000 children killed)—footage he allows Klayman to use. It’s generous, but also part of his own careful image management. An English speaker who spent a dozen years in New York City, Ai has to juggle art, commerce, global celebrity, politics, and a somewhat messy personal life (he has a child with a woman not his wife). He uses his fame shrewdly but not always cautiously: One of his fact-finding missions results in a police beating, which of course he films. Ai is puckish, funny, bold, and a thoroughly wired modern artist. As he says (before arrest) of the media, “If it’s not publicized, it’s like it never happened.” BRIAN MILLER

Coke–pounding, action-figure-collecting, tantrum-prone 35-year-old living at home with a mollycoddling mother (Mia Farrow) and a father (Christopher Walken) who unfavorably compares Abe to his physician brother (Justin Bartha, who, like all of Abe’s male nemeses, is curiously effeminate). Piloting his yellow SUV through a wasteland of multiplexes and strip malls, spurred on by vapidly optimistic radio pop holding out the promise of reinvention (“Reach out for more/And make it better than it’s been before”), Abe attempts to defy a lonely fate by courting a woebegone, medicated-tonumbness woman, Miranda (Selma Blair), who passively allows herself to be swept along with Abe’s domestic fantasies while responding to him with obliviously cruel comments in a shuddering, hurts-to-breathe tone. Whether Abe’s eventual Pyrrhic victory is a joke or a tragedy is a moot point, like the argument, dating from 1995’s Welcome to the Dollhouse, as to whether Solondz is a caricaturist or humanist. With Solondz’s old-hat funeral deadpan and efforts to pass off Abe’s adolescent rage as elevated insight, Dark Horse is neither incisively black-hearted nor particularly attuned to human behavior—proof that some directors, at least, do end up the way they started out. NICK PINKERTON

Klown

Ruby Sparks

OPENS FRI., AUG. 3 AT SIFF FILM CENTER. NOT RATED. 90 MINUTES.

OPENS FRI., AUG. 3 AT SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN. NOT RATED. 90 MINUTES.

OPENS FRI., AUG. 3 AT MERIDIAN AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED R. 104 MINUTES.

Startlingly intimate and direct, this firstperson doc by Emad Burnat and Guy Davidi requires multiple viewings for anyone eager to work out how it could have been shot with such precision and visual ingenuity under such plainly chaotic conditions. The film is an account of five years in the life of Burnat, a Palestinian farmer whose hometown of Bil’in is overtaken by Israeli settlements (a euphemism for high-rise sprawl) just as his youngest son, Gibreel, is born and his desire to make meaningful cinematic documents takes root. A series of inexpensive cameras gets sacrificed as he and Davidi, an Israeli, brave increasing violence and official indifference to capture the widespread involvement of Burnat’s friends and neighbors in the village’s resistance movement. It’s impossible not to care about these people, which triggers alarms over how thoroughly 5 Broken Cameras elicits sympathy for Palestinians at the expense of an Israeli perspective. (The settlers come off as cartoonishly thuggish, with their itchy fists and default cries of “I’ll sue you!”) But Burnat and Davidi aim less for journalistic balance than for a deeply personal explication of resistance—mortifying, invigorating, possibly futile, and probably the only dignified response under the circumstances. “It takes strength to turn something negative into something possible,” Burnat says of Bil’in’s struggle, and he could just as easily be talking about this film. MARK HOLCOMB

Based on a TV series in Denmark (where broadcast standards are far different than here), Klown sends two 40-something bunglers on a weekend canoe trip to a brothel. Both have women back home, but that doesn’t stop them from hitting on high-school girls, indulging in a desultory threesome, and threatening the welfare of an 11-year-old nephew they drag along. Canoes tip over, pot gets smoked, and everyone ends up at a rowdy, drunken music festival, yet Frank and Casper aren’t complete morons. They’re organized enough to pack tuxedoes for the brothel—an excursion arranged by their book club. (Again: Danish book clubs are far different than here.) The comic tone, which director Mikkel Nørgaard originated on the TV series with his two stars, is of queasy taboo-breaking, of pushing the duo just a little too far—then we watch to see if they can recover. And by extension: Can we recover our sympathy for them? And what of the ladies back home? Frank (Frank Hvam) is the meeker of the pair, with a pregnant girlfriend. Married Casper (Casper Christensen) is the cad who christens their trip “the Tour de Sex.” The theme here is simply whether hapless Frank has “no potential as a father” (as his girlfriend frets), and whether he’ll help pudgy nephew Bo learn to pee standing up or accidentally drown him. The canoe odyssey plays like a middle-aged Danish spin on American Pie. One raunchy debacle follows another, and a series of false endings—which suggest Klown’s TV roots—doesn’t help. Frank and Casper are a bit like the guys in Sideways, only without the pity and self-awareness.

It’s one of the most cherished legends of the American indie: A socially retarded ugly duck, despite making no effort to regulate his glaring emotional hang-ups, is discovered as a swan by a clearly out-of-his-league girl who loves him just the way he is. In this case, in a burst of literary Weird Science, the girl (Zoe Kazan) is the fictional invention of one-hit novelist Calvin (Paul Dano) miraculously made flesh—exactly the sort of preciously troubled, whimsical, impractical, thrift-storechic, just feasibly girlfriendable little kook that Zooey Deschanel has made a career of (“Can’t drive . . . doesn’t own a computer . . . roots for the underdog”)—given the adorable sobriquet “Ruby Sparks” for good measure. It’s almost a parody of the type—and as Ruby Sparks continues, it occurs that the film is after exactly that. At first, all is harmonious between Calvin and custom-fit Ruby. When inevitable incompatibilities arise, however, Calvin violates his own rule by returning to the typewriter where he discovers that he can “edit” his creation, inadvertently rewriting her as codependent, dippily elated, and bipolar—license for Kazan to run amok, with a winning lack of self-consciousness. She has the sort of faintly retro prettiness that might make her a shoo-in as the next “it” hipster pinup, a trajectory her film and television work thus far would seem to endorse. She also wrote the screenplay, which begs interpretation as a frustrated actress’ commentary on the way even ostensibly serious writers write women—for maximum convenience. Still, the direction, by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris (Little Miss Sunshine), is never more than workmanlike. NICK PINKERTON E

Dark Horse RUNS FRI., AUG. 3–THURS., AUG. 9 AT VARSITY. NOT RATED. 84 MINUTES.

People always end up the way they started out. No one ever changes, one character says in Todd Solondz’s significantly titled 2004 film Palindromes—an observation put to the test in his latest tale of genetic-lotto losers in the New Jersey suburbs. Abe (an excellent Jordan Gelber) is a schlubby, Diet

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Pink Ribbons, Inc., and Total Recall.

BRIAN MILLER

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

5 Broken Cameras

KINO/LORBER FILMS

More scenes from the occupation in 5 Broken Cameras.

Hvam as the meeker of two klowns.

ZENTROPA ENT.

P Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry

film@seattleweekly.com 103

film» BY BRIAN MILLER

Local Film • BODY HEAT Lawrence Kasdan’s 1981 neo-noir gave

Kathleen Turner her breakout role as the femme fatale who dupes William Hurt. Mickey Rourke is equally effective (and still handsome) as their accomplice in crime. Call for showtimes. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Aug. 3-8. BOLLYWOOD OUTDOOR FILM SERIES Three slackers accidentally receive a gangster’s loot in the 2011 comedy Delhi Belly. Food trucks will be vending Indian cuisine for this Friday night series, or bring your own curry. Outdoor movies screen at dusk. (NR) Volunteer Park, 1247 15th Ave. E., 684-4555, seattle.gov, Free, Fridays. Through Aug. 3. DIRTY DANCING “That was the summer of 1963— when everybody called me Baby, and it didn’t occur to me to mind. That was before President Kennedy was shot, before the Beatles came, when I couldn’t wait to join the Peace Corps, and I thought I’d never find a guy as great as my dad. That was the summer we went to Kellerman’s.” A deep excitement at hearing these lines in the 1987 Dirty Dancing is where my beloved Roger Ebert and I cross swords. It’s not like ‘80s popular cinema is remembered for its subtlety—the producers had the nerve to litter a killer soundtrack, which includes perhaps the most iconic use of the Ronettes’ “Be My Baby” alongside crap like Patrick Swayze’s “She’s Like the Wind.” Call for showtimes. (PG-13) RACHEL SHIMP Central Cinema, $6-$8, Aug. 3-7. FREMONT OUTDOOR MOVIES These ABBA tunes only get their due in the all-too-rare big production numbers, when 2008’s Mamma Mia! finally rocks as a tirelessly nostalgic pub crawl through a narrow street of 1970s pop history. Otherwise, it’s little more than droopy ditties draped around a threadbare plot about the daughter (Amanda Seyfried) of a single mom (Meryl Streep) who secretly invites three men in a boat (Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard)—each of whom might be her father—to her Greek island wedding. A mugging Streep is eclipsed by Christine Baranski. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (PG-13) ELLA TAYLOR Fremont Outdoor Cinema, 3501 Phinney Ave. N., 781-4230, fremontoutdoor movies.com, $5, Saturdays, 7 p.m. through Aug. 25. FUNNY HA HA It isn’t funny ha-ha, but it is strangely, meanderingly enjoyable. This 2005 feature by then-27year-old Andrew Bujalski is a scripted drama, but, shot on 16mm with raw production values, it feels like documentary. A coterie of twentysomething college graduates spends the summer drinking, temping, and performing the awkward mating rituals endemic to people who lack the courage to express their feelings. The film’s protagonist is Marnie (Kate Dollenmayer), a satisfyingly complex young woman with a crush on an unworthy boy (Christian Rudder). At her temp job, Marnie meets Mitchell (played by writer/director/editor Bujalski), a sweet but awkward guy who develops a crush on her, and they dance around what both of them know: that he wants her and she wants someone else. Somehow, Bujalski was able to get his non-actors to non-act; the film has a beautiful nonchalance, as though we had just happened upon the scene. Once in a while, it drags, but it’s worth sinking into the film’s haphazard rhythms and paying close attention to its characters’ befuddled humanity. Note: Actor Myles Paige will introduce the Tuesday screening. (NR) MELISSA LEVINE Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Tue., Aug. 7, 7 & 9 p.m.; Wed., Aug. 8, 9 p.m.; Thu., Aug. 9, 7 & 9 p.m.

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#webawards

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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• THE LIFE AND DEATH OF COLONEL BLIMP

From 1943, Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger’s Technicolor comedy simultaneously lampoons British military culture (and the decline of its empire) over four decades in the life of General Clive Candy (Roger Livesey) and yet also celebrates its durable protagonist. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Aug. 3-9, 7 p.m. MAGNUSON OUTDOOR MOVIES Six Oscars went to Forrest Gump, the 1994 smash adaptation of Winston Groom’s novel. Tom Hanks stars as the dimwit who somehow redeems the baby boom generation. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (PG-13) Magnuson Park, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E., moviesatmagnuson.com, $5, Thursdays, 7 p.m. Through Aug. 30. MARYMOOR PARK OUTDOOR MOVIES The 2011 Muppets reboot is largely the labor of love of diehard Muppets fan Jason Segel, who stars as Gary, big brother of Walter, a sweet if dull new Muppet created for the film. Walter, Gary, and Gary’s girlfriend (Amy Adams) leave their Midwestern hamlet for a trip to Los Send events to film@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

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Angeles, where they tour the decrepit, dusty Muppet Studios and learn of a plot by tycoon Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to tear down the building. They frantically seek out Kermit, convincing him to reunite his long-lost pals to save it. The Muppets is most successful when devoted to gathering the old players and following the arc of its forebears by becoming a show about the frenzy of putting on a show. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (PG) MELISSA ANDERSON Marymoor Park, 6046 W. Lake Sammamish Parkway N.E., Redmond, moviesat marymoor.com, $5, Wednesdays, 7 p.m. Through Aug. 29. MOONLIGHT CINEMA Take my breath away. Tom Cruise stars as the cocksure fighter pilot in Top Gun, a very big hit from 1986. The volleyball scene with Val Kilmer adds camp appeal to its Reaganite muscle. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (R) Redhook Ale Brewery, 14300 N.E. 145th St., Woodinville, 425-483-3232, redhook.com, $5, Thursdays. Through Aug. 30. MOVIES AT THE MURAL The entire eight-part Harry Potter series is being screened in chronological order. Our three wizardly protagonists will age over a decade (from 2001 to 2011) and the themes gradually darken. Outdoor movies screen at dusk. Note that the Sun. Aug. 5 screening takes place on the South International Fountain Lawn. (PG) and (PG-13) Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St., 684-7200, seattlecenter.com, Free, Saturdays; Sundays. Through Aug. 26.

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THE FILMS OF JEAN • QUEEN OFJoelSCREWBALL: McCrea and Arthur fall in love in ARTHUR

1943’s The More the Merrier, set on the home front during WWII. George Stevens directs. (NR) Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum. org, $35-$39 series, $8 individual, Thursdays, 7:30 p.m. Through Aug. 9.

FROM THE BASEBALL HALL OF • RARE FILMS Well, there’s no point in watching the miserable FAME:

Mariners, especially when Hank Aaron and others feature in this two-hour compendium of diamond shorts. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Thu., Aug. 2, 7 p.m. SHORT CUTS From 1993, Robert Altman’s L.A.-set adaptation of stories by Raymond Carver is one of the director’s best late career works. Earthquakes, killings, infidelity, and clowns are among the motivating forces for a big ensemble cast including Julianne Moore, Robert Downey Jr., Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Tom Waits. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Wed., Aug. 1, 8 p.m. SOUND IT OUT Jeanie Finlay’s documentary celebrates a record store in her hometown of Teeside, England. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Aug. 3-5, 7 & 9 p.m. THE STING SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 97. SUMMER MOVIE WEDNESDAYS Calamari Union, by local director Richard Lefebvre, is a riff on the 1985 film of the same name by Aki Kaurismäki. Here, the epic voyage is from Georgetown to Ballard. Preceded by Drew Christie’s music video for the Moondoggies song “Empress of the North.” (NR) West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., 352-1777, westoflenin.com, $5, Wednesdays, 7:30 p.m. Through Aug. 8. THREE DOLLAR BILL OUTDOOR CINEMA Elvis Presley and Ann-Margret star in this enjoyable 1964 musical. The title track, which features some memorable go-go dancing from Ann-Margret, was written by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (PG) Cal Anderson Park, 1635 11th Ave., three dollarbillcinema.org, Free, Fridays. Through Aug. 17. THE WARRIORS Walter Hill’s 1979 take on the Odyssey is set in gang-ridden NYC, where rivals wear facepaint and Yankees costumes. Said Hill recently of his cult hit, “The Warriors is about as nonrealistic as a movie could possibly be. It’s amazing, though—this vaguely futuristic, science-fiction movie—why was it so audiencefriendly? I don’t exactly have the answer.” (R) Egyptian, $8.25, Fri., Aug. 3, 11:59 p.m.; Sat., Aug. 4, 11:59 p.m.

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ONGOING

• THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN Marc Webb’s inexcus-

ably good Spidey reboot celebrates the heartwarming arachno-genetic bar mitzvah in which a boy becomes a spider, and a spider becomes a man. Boy genius Peter Parker, played charmingly by Chia-haired Andrew Garfield, tours the Oscorp lab of Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans), where he receives a fateful spider bite. Webb (of the great (500) Days of Summer) was not the obvious debut for the director of a high-profile, big-budget action film. It’s all sharp-of-wit and sweetly sentimental for lots of reasons, including Martin Sheen and Sally Field as Peter’s Uncle Ben and Aunt May and a peroxidehaired, superbad Emma Stone as a gently ironic Gwen Stacy, a damsel in only moderate distress. Denis Leary, as Captain Stacy, father of Gwen, evinces his signature growly sarcasm and hits unexpectedly sweet notes of paternal affection. (PG-13) Chris Packham Issaquah, Lincoln Square, Meridian, Thornton Place, Woodinville Cinemas

film» BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD A zealous gumbo

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of regionalism, magical realism, post-Katrina allegory, myth, and ecological parable, this Louisiana-set debut feature by 29-year-old Benh Zeitlin rests, often cloyingly, on the tiny shoulders of Quvenzhané Wallis. Beasts strains to remind us of Hushpuppy’s wisdom and courage beyond her years. She is a motherless child: “She swam away,”explains her drunken father of Mom’s absence. He and Hushpuppy live in a grassy, overgrown expanse in a fictional bayou area called the Bathtub. Stomping around her ramshackle, squalid domain in white plastic rain boots, dirty T-shirt, and orange Underoos, this peewee heroine confidently wields a blowtorch. But in trying through incessant narration to make a six-yearold a prolix sage, Zeitlin can’t avoid falling into sticky sentimentality. (PG-13) Melissa Anderson Egyptian BERNIE In a 1997 murder trial in Carthage, Texas, Bernhardt “Bernie” Tiede, a closeted ex-mortician, confessed to the shooting of his benefactress, 81-year-old millionaire widow Marjorie Nugent. In Richard Linklater’s movie, Shirley MacLaine is Nugent, by almost all accounts a sour and unpleasant woman, clutching her purse like a floatation device. Matthew McConaughey is district attorney Danny Buck Davidson, and Jack Black plays Tiede, tackling his duties as church-choir soloist and community-theater impresario, in a performance remarkable for its ability to be at once flamboyant and remote. Bernie is all about irreconcilable facts and foggy motives, not least the contrary demands of forgiveness written in the Bible and the stern punishment written in the law books. It is the rarest of rarities: a truly unexpected film. (PG-13) Nick Pinkerton Harvard Exit A CAT IN PARIS A gem. The animation style of Jean-Loup Felicioli and Alain Gagnol is crisp, flat, and bright, their characters rendered with line-work recalling the Matisse and Picasso of ‘30s Paris. There are even traces of Tintin, and a simple comic-book plot to suit. Her father recently murdered, her policewoman mother obsessed with the case, lonely little Zoe has an affectionate pet cat named Dino. When she goes to bed at night, Dino bounds across the moonlit rooftops and leaps from building to building, leading the rubberyarmed burglar Nico to the loot. One such outing leads to a nest of gangsters connected with the death of Zoe’s father. This is a storybook Paris of the imagination, of the artist’s easel. (PG) Brian Miller SIFF Cinema Uptown EASY MONEY Well grounded, physically and emotionally, Daniel Espinosa’s downbeat Swedish pulper is a crime thriller where no one gets away clean, and every action has its irrevocable reaction. Easy Money nimbly braids together three narrative strands: South American Jorge busts out of prison and goes straightaway to work on a big coke deal; Serbian hit man Mrado goes after him at the behest of competing business interests; and lowborn native Swede “JW” drifts into crime in order to pay the tab for his master-of-the-universe imposture. Each man and his hustler’s ambition is illustrated by way of quotidian detail, and that same intimate attention provides a clear view of variously tempered consciences bending and breaking under pressure. (R) Nick Pinkerton Harvard Exit

Seattle’s Premiere Food Truck Derby • MAGIC MIKE In Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike,

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Channing Tatum’s appeal is based on working-class humility paired with otherworldly charisma, an impossible body, and the intelligence to make his use of it seem effortless. The highly calculated Magic Mike is pure Hollywood self-mythology: a neo-Depression musical, a wish-fulfillment fantasy for shitty times, another origin-of-the-star story. Tatum’s Mike is the main attraction at a Tampa strip club whose dancers cater to an all-female clientele. It’s also a self-reflexive portrait of three distinct points in the Hollywood himbo life cycle: Tatum’s 30-year-old Mike mentors scrappy newbie Adam (Alex Pettyfer), a 19-year-old rebel; Mike himself was discovered by Dallas (the excellent Matthew McConaughey), the club’s manager/main hustler. (R) Karina Longworth Bella Bottega Cinemas, Cinebarre, iPic Theaters, Meridian, Thornton Place MOONRISE KINGDOM It’s 1965, the rainy end of summer on the rocky coast of a fictional New England isle. Twelve-year-old Sam (Jared Gilman) disappears from the Scout camp run by Randy Ward (Edward Norton). Also 12, bad-seed Suzy (Kara Hayward) flees her distracted lawyer parents (Frances McDormand and Bill Murray). Aided by what remains of Ward’s troop, the grown-ups, including Bruce Willis’ Captain Sharp, mobilize to find the fugitive young lovers. Moonrise takes the form of old-fashioned preteen literature, but, as everything made by Wes Anderson, does so knowingly. The escape Sam engineers for the pair is dangerous and crazy, but it’s also a way for him to exercise control, and to show off to a receptive audience. Suzy doesn’t have it so bad at home, but Sam’s flattering gaze gives her something she isn’t getting, and now won’t easily be able to live without. This utopian romance is thrown into relief by the quiet despair of the adults in Moonrise. (PG-13) Karina Longworth Big Picture Redmond, Guild 45th, Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, SIFF Cinema Uptown, Thornton Place

THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456;

Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 781-5755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-6365601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 781-2229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 2675380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996; Sundance Cinemas, 4500 Ninth Ave NE, 633-0059; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755.

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Buddhist Bellies

Meat substitutes meet religion in Renton.

“We get a lot of couples,” a server confided as she sat us at a wooden table in the airy, red-walled dining room. Other than an open kitchen and a snug patio out back, nothing distinguishes the interior from that of every other polished Asian restaurant where the check’s presented with Andes mints instead of stale fortune cookies. (Blossom’s

uddhist cuisine was developed nearly two millennia ago, with the first recipes for meat replicas appearing in an agricultural text associated with the Northern Wei Dynasty (368–534 A.D.) Although not every school of Buddhist thought is strictly vegetarian, many Buddhists believe eating meat is incompatible with the compassion they strive to practice. But early Buddhists wanted to adequately feed temple visitors who didn’t adhere to their dietary codes, so they devised a way to make fish balls from soybeans, among other concoctions. The preparations were also popular with converts. “This is done for the Asian Buddhists who come to be vegetarians after living as meateaters for awhile,” chef Phan, a Buddhist nun, explains. “They have a fondness for the taste and textures of certain favorite dishes.” Catering to nostalgic Buddhists remains a legitimate rationale for phony meat, as does just plain having fun in the kitchen. Catering to traveling alms-givers? Possibly past its expiration date. But the current era has given rise to yet another reason for eaters to embrace Buddhist-style beef, chicken, seafood, and pork: It might save the planet. The U.S. is hardly on the brink of a vegetarian revolution. The average American eats about a half-pound of meat every day. That translates to the annual slaughter of 10 billion animals, many of which are raised in dire conditions on factory farms. And those farms are greenhouse-gas machines: According to food activist Mark Bittman, if Americans slashed their meat consumption by 20 percent, the conservation payoff would be the equivalent of every driver trading in a Camry for a Prius. Blossom’s not-meat is the ideal food for the

Buddhist nun Hue Phan at the stove Prius set. It doesn’t require any serious of eternal vegetation. concessions; it’s hip; it’s green; it’s a technological wonder and an aesthetic champ. Plus, unlike the Prius, it’s pretty tasty. For earthloving eaters who can reach Renton without As much as I loved the liquid portion of leaving a giant carbon footprint, it surely makes Blossom’s menu, when Phan works with sense to swap one meaty weeknight dinner for solids, she exploits every sculptural opportuBlossom’s extraordinary bun bo hue. nity for beauty. Plump puff pastries—folded Like all the dishes at Blossom, the bun is into twisty-edged crescents stuffed with visually indistinguishable from its meat-based mushrooms, tofu, peas, and carrots—are each counterpart. In addition to a knot of noodles, exactly the same size as the next. Carrots, perky basil, grated carrots, jalapeños, and a interspersed with a sesame beef so convincheap of cilantro and mint, the broth’s accompa- ing that someone ought to say “Abracadabra!” nied by a triangle of fried tofu and salty “beef” when it’s served, are trimmed into darling (going forward, assume quotation marks) that little ziggurats. could hold its own in a suspect lineup. The Phan refuses to reveal the ingredients slices have the dark, sweaty in her mock meats, and it’s appearance of beef carved from almost impossible to reversea gyro spit, a more modern engineer them, so I don’t » PRICE GUIDE PUFF PASTRY ................ $6 miracle of formed meat. know whether to credit BUN BO HUE..................$10 toasted rice flour, seitan, But if the looks of the beef PUMPKIN SOUP ...........$10 FRIED MACKEREL ....... $13 or seaweed for the robust are intentionally deceiving, SESAME BEEF ............... $13 skin-on lemongrass mackerel, there’s no misdirection in the sliced into chunks, or the broth bowl. The adobe-red stubs of roast pork that nicely summoned the soup looks primed to claw the tongue distinctive fattiness of swine. with peppery spice, and it pounces on first “Our food is not fatty or heavy!” Phan spoonful. The heat has subtle tropical-fruit chastised me when I asked if she deliberately accents, but they’ll only be noticed by eaters tried to recreate meat’s inherent flaws or who regularly plead with servers to let them correct them. “We try to make good healthy go beyond five-star heat. Not counting dishes.” Some of those dishes are harder than the dishes I’ve destroyed with chili oil and others to perfect, she adds. Sriracha, Blossom’s bun was one of the Phan is now working on a mi vit, or duck hottest dishes I’ve had in Seattle. noodle soup, which she hopes to add soon On the opposite end of the soup spectrum, to the menu. The restaurant is also in the Blossom’s pumpkin and lotus-seed soup— process of securing its beer-and-wine license. one of the few dishes on the lengthy menu Faking meat may be an ancient pastime, but that doesn’t feature any meat wannabes—is the dynamic Blossom feels very much of the a velvety shortcut to serenity. The lulling moment. E soup is almost translucent, but has a heft that honors the roly-poly pumpkin. Seasoned hraskin@seattleweekly.com liberally with ginger and crowded with silken tofu flotsam, this is the soup to remember BLOSSOM VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT when you learn at the very last minute that a 305 Burnett Ave. S., Renton, 425-430-1610, Thanksgiving guest has gone vegetarian. blossomvegetarian.com. 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Wed.–Mon. 107

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

This plate of sesame “beef” mocks you!

predecessor—owned, like Blossom, by prolific Renton restaurateur Huong Sens— served duck-filled calamari and blueberry martinis.) According to our server, Blossom is a godsend for herbivore/omnivore intermarriages. As she described it, the restaurant functions as a kind of dietary utopia where a meat-loving lady can have her flank steak and her veggie partner can eat it too. Still, I wonder how many vegetarians want their palates overpowered by flesh flavors, and how many committed carnivores really hope for a plate of elaborately disguised jicama and potatoes when they ask for ham. My hunch is that handmade meat appeals to a slightly different demographic. JOSHUA HUSTON

here’s a section in my family’s Passover Hagaddah, which we put together after realizing that Maxwell House might not be the supreme authority on spiritual matters, that quotes Zen master Thich Naht Hanh. The passage is supposed to help make sense of the Afikoman ritual, which involves breaking a sheet of unleavened bread in two, but it’s equally applicable to all the querying and cogitating that’s occurred earlier in the Seder. “Which is true? Which is false? Which is bad? Which good? Please calm down, my friend. Lay down your sharp sword of conceptual thinking.” To my everlasting discredit, I wielded that sword like a ninja at Blossom Vegetarian, Renton’s year-old Vietnamese restaurant specializing in the Buddhist tradition of mock meat. Instead of admiring chef Hue Phan’s startlingly gorgeous vegetal copies of beef shank and shredded pork, I busied my Western mind with a slew of urgent questions: Is that a mushroom? Is this seitan? Could I actually prefer seaweed chicken to the real bird? And—most pressingly—who is the intended audience for caramelized prawns made from rolled bean-curd skins and silken tofu?

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food&drink»Featured Eats $ = $25 or less per person; $$ = $25–$40; $$$ = $40 and up. These capsule reviews are written by editorial staff and have nothing to do with advertising. For hundreds more reviews, searchable by neighborhood and type of cuisine, go to seattleweekly.com/food.

BALLARD

DANTE’S INFERNO DOGS mobile, 283-3647. As far as

biological imperatives go, acting on the need to feed oneself after a night of heavy drinking is the least likely to end in regret. That’s assuming you’ve chosen your post-last call meal wisely. In Ballard, that means Dante’s Inferno Dogs. Problem is, everybody knows it, which is why, come 2 a.m., the wait to get a fix of dog, bun and toppings becomes nearly unbearable. So try your luck at one of this Ballard institution’s many carts at midday, even if you’ve no booze to soak up. $ FIREHOUSE COFFEE 2622 N.W. Market St., 784-2911. There’s a kids’ play gym next door (Gymboree) which can be handy or noisy, depending on your need or mood. But it’s a cozy coffeehouse atmosphere, with reliable sandwiches and tasty pastries. $ LOUIE’S CUISINE OF CHINA 5100 15th Ave. N.W., 782-8855. There are restaurants across the city that reflect a range of culinary traditions associated with China, but no restaurant better encapsulates the region-specific tradition of eating Chinese in Seattle than Louie’s Cuisine. The restaurant traces its roots back to the 1930s, when the Louie family served some of the best food in Chinatown. There aren’t any real misses on the lengthy menu, but oyster beef, garlic

FirstCall

» by keegan hamilton

Hopping West

- Geogy Chacko

chicken with black bean sauce and lobster sauce prawns are reliable standbys. $$

BEACON HILL

FOU LEE MARKET 2050 S. Columbian Way, 764-9607.

Fou Lee’s houses an amazing selection of Asian groceries, predominantly Filipino, and a walk-up food counter for to-go Filipino dishes and catering orders. The line at the registers is consistently five people long, at least. Produce is limited to a few bins of potatoes and citrus out front, and one narrow aisle of okra, bittermelon, Chinese eggplant, bushels of mint, and a few leafy greens. Jars and cans are filled with a variety of shrimp pastes, fermented fish, diced fruits, and Kraft cheeses. Bottles of soy sauce, vinegar, banana ketchup, and hot sauces are just a few steps away from boxed bibingka, instant palabok, and calamansi juice. There are also premade Vietnamese sandwiches and a plethora of desserts, including fat wedges of flan and sweet pan de leche buns. A great place to go for Filipino food. $

CAPITOL HILL

DOM POLSKI ZAPRASZA/POLISH HOME ASSOCIATION 1714 18th Ave., 322-3020. On Friday

nights and special occasions, the Old Polish Home members and guests (who pay a buck at the door for a one-day pass) crowd into the facility’s gymnasium/ theater for a rollicking, cheap meal. Skinny girls with lip piercings wait at the bar for a table next to stout men in tucked-in sweaters. The beers are cheap (and wickedly potent), the pickle soup is simultaneously

the house specials: a Queensland Iced Tea. He muddles lemon wedges with ice and a few sprigs of mint, then adds a healthy pour of Sailor Jerry rum, a dash of orange liqueur, and Bundaberg ginger beer imported from Down Under. The ingredients are shaken, strained, and served on the rocks in a pint glass. My tasting notes from the first sip: “Damn, that’s refreshing!” The drink is tart and minty,

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This man lets you drink in a library.

and tastes like a lemony mojito. Asked about the special ginger beer, Wiege (a Seattle-area native) says it’s popular in Australia, and he likes it because it’s “not as spicy” as other versions sold in the States. “The Aussie version of a Dark and Stormy is made with Bundaberg rum,” he says. “But you can’t get it in the U.S. The only way is if somebody goes [to Australia] and brings some back, but then we can’t sell it.” The Verdict: The lemony rum concoction is ideal for a sunny summer day, and the Kangaroo and Kiwi is a perfect fit for the old Ballard library. “It’s worked out great,” Wiege says. “It looks like a traditional Aussie pub. They’re always in old buildings.” E khamilton@seattleweekly.com

• I will provide my drivers license, registration, and proof of insurance. • I will sign a citation, if any, then I want to leave immediately. • I will not answer any questions without an attorney present. • I do not have to do “Field Sobriety Tests” and I refuse to do them. • I do not consent to or want to be recorded. • I do not consent to my person, car, or other property being searched. • I do not waive my rights. If you want me to take a breath or blood test, I want to talk to Casey Jason at 425-223-7701, first.

Seat tle weekly • AUG U ST 1−7, 2012

The Watering Hole: The Kangaroo and Kiwi Pub, 2026 N.W. Market St., 297-0507, BALLARD The Atmosphere: The Kangaroo and Kiwi (K&K for short) recently reopened after relocating to Ballard’s Carnegie Public Library from its previous home near Green Lake. The move ought to make Australians, New Zealanders, and Seattleites rejoice: A brick-and-mortar establishment in the most literal sense, the gorgeous old building is truly a gem. The ample interior is basically divided into thirds: the main bar, the pool room, and a separate dining/seating area. The walls are dotted with framed rugby jerseys and other sundry Aussie swag, and the freshly buffed hardwood floors are just one example of the substantial face-lift the space has received. An expansive patio with a small garden and picnic tables immediately qualifies as the neighborhood’s best outdoor drinking locale. During Tuesdayafternoon happy hour, half a dozen dudes are hanging out inside, drinking beer and watching various forms of football on TV. The Barkeep: Todd Wiege tended bar for a time at the old Green Lake K&K, but briefly decamped to Quinn’s Pub on Capitol Hill before rejoining at the new Ballard location. Sporting a Mariners cap and rocking a Black Keys Pandora station on the bar’s stereo, the affable Wiege chats about backpacking in Europe, Seahawk running back Marshawn Lynch’s recent DUI, and his upcoming wedding. The Drink: Naturally, the Australia and New Zealand–themed pub serves Australia and New Zealand–inspired drinks. Wiege whips up one of

"A wonderful restaurant that just happens to be Indian"

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tangy and creamy, and the pierogis come drenched in melted butter. Dom Polski’s cult dish is the foot-long ham hock, braised until the skin and fat pull away with the push of a fork, unveiling a half-pound of pink, succulent meat. $-$$ ELTANA 1538 12th Ave., 724-0660. The bagels are laboriously fashioned by hand. A gigantic oven with visible flames bakes Eltana’s bagels to a char, and the steaming wood makes the spacious, high-ceilinged cafe smell like a sauna. Hard and tiny, these are known as Montreal bagels. But it’s the motion in the ocean that counts, and Eltana’s bagels go down swimmingly, with a generous amount of cream cheese heaped on. $ FUEL COFFEE 610 19th Ave. E., 329-4700. This scrappy little Capitol Hill coffee shop’s patrons are as loyal as the atmosphere is laid-back. Fuel represents the middle ground in Seattle coffee culture: It’s a place for folks who are neither Stumptown nor Starbucks, aficionado or layman. But if ever a roast tastes familiar, it’s because Fuel buys its beans from local roaster Caffé Vita. $ JAI THAI 235 Broadway E., 322-5781. Jai Thai is bustling with action in the early-morning hours, owing to its being the only Thai restaurant in the city that remains open until 2 a.m. The later it gets, the more jaded hipsters, drunken clubbers, and smitten couples can be seen digging into favorites like pad see ew, pumpkin curry, and swimming rama. A word of advice: Dishes are made using a 1-4 scale of hotness, but the cooks are conservative with the spice. Adjust your preference accordingly. $ LARK 926 12th Ave., 323-5275. Lark’s artistic spirit is reflected in everything about the restaurant, from the First Thursday regulars who make up its clientele to the poetry on its menu. One is tempted to scan the meter of lines like “Skagit River Ranch beef tongue with horseradish and wild watercress,” “Spanish

ALittLeRAskin » by hanna raskin

Comp Time

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 1− 7, 2012

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At restaurants, the line between necessity and nicety isn’t always bright. Should customers expect hostesses to take their coats, or be pleasantly surprised when they do? Have free refills bubbled up to finer restaurants, or is it still acceptable for a bistro to tack three different fees onto a heavy soft-drinkers’ bill? I recently had an opportunity to ponder the gray area between baseline and outstanding service while dining at Ballard’s Volterra, a restaurant I’d long been meaning to check out. I didn’t go in any kind of official capacity: I was in the mood for pasta after a long workweek, and figured I’d multitask by crossing another canonical Seattle restaurant off my “to eat” list. Since I was worn out and hungry when we reached our table, I didn’t much want to fool with the menu, and so asked our server to recommend a few dishes. He spoke glowingly of a truffle custard, calling it the kitchen’s finest appetizer. Imagining a thick mushroom pudding (I’m solely at fault for the fantasy: The menu describes only a “truffle custard with shaved spicy coppa, Pecorino Toscano, drizzle of extra virgin olive oil, and micro salad”), I placed my order. What I was served wasn’t thick or mushroomy: It was a horrifically bland white flan that occupied most of the plate. I was done after a single jiggly bite. I’m willing to give the server a pass for not noticing that I’d pushed the appetizer aside. It was a busy night, and most of the tables were taken. And I can’t blame the overwhelmed

mackerel with fennel, olives, and preserved-lemon tapenade,” and “naturally raised veal sweetbreads with spinach, bacon, and grain mustard.” James Beard Award-winning chef John Sundstrom’s food, served up as a swarm of small, composed plates, inspires customers to twirl each bite around the plate to catch the right amount of sauce, breathing in while they graze to catch all the aromatic nuances of the food. That level of attention, from both cooks and diners, is what makes the atmosphere seem so much like a gallery. $$$ OSTERIA LA SPIGA 1429 12th Ave. E., 388-4121. When this 9-year-old neighborhood favorite scaled up, it risked losing its cred and its customers. But surrounded by the trappings of serious dining—rich, raw wood, dark steel, airy space—the restaurant’s EmiliaRomagna cuisine has finally gotten the showcase it merits. The service hasn’t caught up to the expansion, but the piedine (house-made bread) is still as fabulous. Dishes like the fresh tagliatelle in truffle butter and tiny gnocchi in a sausage-laced cream sauce confirm Italians’ assertion that pasta dishes should be about the pasta, not the dressing. And the tiramisu will make you realize that every other version you ever tried was a cakey, bland mess. $$ SALEY CREPES 1361 E. Olive Way, 405-3444. At this tiny triangular restaurant just north of a freeway, where plants line the windows and customers line up for tables, owner Aissa Diouf works her two crepe makers like a DJ, spreading wet batter on one while on the other she folds a cooked pancake around a filling like chicken, bacon, and garlicky creme fraiche. At lunch, $9.99 will get you a savory crepe and then a sweet one. Just be prepared to wait for Aissa to patiently care for each crepe she makes. $ VOLUNTEER PARK CAFE AND MARKETPLACE 1501 17th Ave. E., 328-3155. This sunny, yellow cafe, halfway between Volunteer and Interlaken parks, is the place all the neighbors stop in for something simple, like a

busser for not reporting back to the server that my dish was sitting untouched when he cleared my husband’s cleaned plate. But when the server finally returned to ready the table for the next course, he asked only if he could box up the custard thing. “No,” I said. “I didn’t like it.” The server shrugged and returned to the kitchen. The courtesy gesture here is obvious: The dish should have been taken off the bill. But we were charged the full $12 for it. Because of the work I do, I don’t ask to speak with managers, and I’m almost certain the manager would have resolved the situation in our favor if we’d brought it to his or her attention. But I’m troubled by the prospect of diners being forced into such negotiations. If I had my druthers, servers in nicer restaurants—and any restaurant charging double-digit prices for appetizers counts as nice—would always alert their managers when customers ’fessed up to not liking their dishes. When a customer orders a dish, he’s implicitly promising to pay for it; a restaurant can’t be held financially responsible for every whim of the palate. So as much as it may gall me to pay $12 for nothing, it’s probably not fair to expect a restaurant to comp every dish that goes uneaten. But I think it’s well within the boundaries of standard service to follow up with customers who are clearly unhappy with their choices, and I have a hunch that most successful restaurateurs would agree. E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

aBLOG ON »FOOD VORACIOUS

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food&drink»Featured Eats scone, a sandwich, or a piece of cake. Except that something isn’t so simple: The scones break apart in crusty-edged, buttery slabs; a pressed panini contains roasted mushrooms slathered in caramelized onions and oozy tellegio. “Always Fresh Goodness” is Ericka Burke’s motto, and they hold tight to it, three meals a day. Check the website for their wine dinners, when the chefs really cut loose. $

CENTRAL DISTRICT

LALIBELA ETHIOPIAN RESTAURANT 2800 E. Cherry

St. # A, 322-8565. Don’t be fooled by the blacked-out windows. Decent duro wat and ice-cold Harar can be found in this CD joint. But with so many East African restaurants in a four-block area, if you’d rather not eat inside a place that, from the outside, looks like an X-rated bookstore, you’ve got plenty of other options to choose from. $ MOONLIGHT CAFE 1919 S. Jackson St., 322-3378. There are two menus at this Vietnamese restaurant, T H I S CO D E TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE one with meat entrées, SEATTLE WEEKLY the other with fake-meat IPHONE/ANDROID APP entrées. The vegan menu FOR MORE RESTAURANTS OR VISIT lists its offerings as though seattleweekly.com they contained real meat, so bring a steak lover, hide the meat menu, and order the “sesame beef” and wonton soup. The combo appetizer platter shouldn’t be used to trick anyone (although the egg rolls that come on it sure could), the “pork” skewers are fantastic, and the roll-your-own fresh spring rolls are a delicious adventure. $

SCAN

GEORGETOWN

HANGAR CAFE 6261 13th Ave. S., 762-0204. In a non-

descript house located on the edge of Georgetown sits the Hangar Cafe. It exists, and therefore the

person or persons behind it win. Why? Because of the simplicity of the concept: make crepes. Make good crepes. And they do. But for all the care put into ensuring that the fillings, both savory and sweet, are fresh, the folks behind the place know that the success of the crepe depends on the tastiness of the pancake itself. And it is light without being insubstantial, and sweet without being cloying. $

GREEN LAKE

DUKE’S GREENLAKE CHOWDER HOUSE 7850 Green

Lake Dr. N., 522-4908. Come for the chowder, stay for the view. Since Green Lake is a freshwater pond, the maritime menu at Duke’s here skews toward lighter fare. People like to eat outside, grazing on salads and IPAs so long as the weather’s above 60 degrees. But those salads are available with salmon, crab, and other varieties of seafood, so you can always pretend you’re within sight of Elliott Bay. Another benefit: the experienced bar staff, which makes Duke’s a good place for a first date. Depending on how you hit it off, you can sit down for dinner or flee to your car. $-$$

INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

DUK LI DIM SUM 664 S. Weller St., 340-6122. Just

around the corner from the crowded dim sum powerhouse Jade Garden, Duk Li Dim Sum stands on its own as a quick, inexpensive, and satisfying dumpling haven. Though the menu selection might be limited, Duk Li Dim Sum still has all the dim sum favorites like shu mai, Chinese broccoli and steamed dumplings. The fast and attentive service—and low prices—makes this tiny restaurant even better. $ GREEN LEAF 418 Eighth Ave. S., 340-1388. Perched next to the I-5 overpass that divides the International District, Green Leaf delivers a quick meal that will fill you up. Across the board, the dishes are presented beautifully, and there’s no scrimping on size. Regulars here are often fiercely loyal to their dish of choice, whether that’s the pho (with perfectly spiced broth that some say is the city’s best), the remarkably large vermicelli noodle bowls that teem with meat and veggies, or the Seven Special Courses of Beef for

Two. I’m partial to the specialty fried-duck noodle soup, which comes with fresh veggies and egg noodles. Those in the know also revel in Green Leaf’s hole-in-the-wall anonymity, touting it as a Tamarind Tree without the hype. If you can, try to get a table upstairs: The natural light and kitschy wagon-wheel benches make for a better environment than the dim, crowded-feeling dining room on the lower floor. $ HING LOON SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 628 S. Weller St., 682-2828. An ID mainstay for homey Cantonese cuisine-stir-fried noodles, fresh seafood in delicate sauces, crisp stir-fried vegetables, and hot pots, whose appeal borders on the medicinal. Feeling under the weather? Venture out for the satay shrimp curry hot pot, a casserole-like dish that will warm up your system and clear out your sinuses. Hing Loon’s cafeteria-esque dining room isn’t much for atmosphere, but all the atmosphere you need is on the table. The best way to eat at Hing Loon might be to set the menu aside and order off the dozens of placemat specials taped to the walls; they range from “chitterlings with black bean sauce” (OK, perhaps that’s a little too adventurous for some) to chicken needle noodles and green-onion pancake. $ HOMESTYLE HONG KONG CAFE 615 S. King St., 748-9168. There’s a reason this minuscule Hong Kongstyle restaurant installed stainless steel tables: to avoid scorch marks from its specialty, “stone bowl steamed rice,” which comes in oven-hot bowls. There’s not much to it—white rice topped with pork and salted fish or shrimp curry—but the bowl toasts the edges of the rice, and that’s enough to pack the room. Homestyle HK also serves small eats like congee, boiled or steamed dumplings, 7-Up with salted lemons, and toast with condensed milk. And you can’t eat much finer for $5 than the soup noodles with curry fish balls and bok choy. $ JADE GARDEN RESTAURANT 424 7th Ave. S., 622-8181. If you can stand the body crush in the lobby, this Hong Kong-style restaurant is the place to go for dim sum. Dozens of delights, a good mix of tradition and novelty, circle the room: The pastry around the shrimp-and-onion balls crumples at the touch;

the barbecued pork buns have the texture of clouds; translucent shrimp-and-leek dumplings are plumped out with juicy meat. And you’ll need to double up on the custard buns (look for the crackly tops). $ KANAME IZAKAYA AND SHOCHU BAR 610 S. Jackson St., 682-1828. Attractive, lodge-like Kaname’s long menu includes all the dishes Americans expect to find in a Japanese restaurant (sushi, sukiyaki, tempura, katsu), as well as the smaller drinking snacks that you’d find at izakayas, or Japanese pubs. That’s a lot of dishes to master, and the results are uneven, but one of the reliable successes is Kaname’s ramen. Owner Todd Kuniyuki trained with a Japanese chef to learn his Kyushu-style tonkotsu broth, which smells like pureed bacon but is light enough to sip a bowl’s worth. $

NORTH SEATTLE

EL CAMION 11728 Aurora Ave. N., 367-2777. El Camion

is perhaps the most design-conscious taco truck to ever hit the road. Not only is the name printed in sans-serif font instead of painted in wavery cursive, but the truck has clean picnic tables and a photocopied menu. The taco-truck-newbie-friendly touches extend to black beans on the lunch plates, pico de gallo on the tacos instead of just onions and cilantro, and a diner’s choice of salsas. El Camion’s carnitas won’t be porky enough for some, and the mole too sweet, but several of the tacos will set your mouth abuzz: moist, spice-covered pork adobada; tender tripe with its echo of toasted almonds; and a rich mess of fish griddled up with chopped red cabbage and white sauce (okay, mayonnaise). $ HAE-NAM KALBI & CALAMARI 15001 Aurora Ave. N., 367-7843. What do pork ribs and squid have in common, you may ask? At this bustling, shiny branch of a Seoul restaurant, you can simmer the two meats together at the table in the oh-bul-sah (house special hot pot), which is seasoned with sweet-spicy chile paste. Other dishes are worth ordering, too: the laciest onion-seafood pancake you may see in flavorful beanpaste soups, tender barbecued meats, and to accompany it all, a dozen side dishes, all of good quality. $$

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I Love You, You Love Weed

t medical-marijuana access points with a multitiered donation scheme, $10 a gram is more commonly seen as a starting point rather than top-shelf. But at crisply professional Seashore Collective in Shoreline, donations start at $8 a gram and top out at $10. (Bargain-hunters or cannabis cooks can get mixed shake for just $6 a gram.) You may notice the absence of concentrates (such as hash, hash oil, and kief ) and medibles at Seashore, but that’s due to city regulations, and budtender Sean Tam told me those items would be available once those ordinances are changed. Cannabis flower pricing from $8 to $10, though, is plenty enough reason to visit Seashore (they also stock $10 clones for patients who want to grow their own

For the several days that my eighth of Plat lasted, it was my go-to when the pain threatened to wreck my day. medicine). On the Sunday I visited, four strains were available for $8, three for $9, and six for $10. I selected the sativadominant Sour Diesel and the indicadominant Platinum for $10, and decided to try an $8 indica-dominant, Barney Purple, for good measure. The Barney Purple isn’t very purple, but its soothing indica effects, at $8 a gram, make it a real “I love you, you love me, we’re all stoned on THC” type of bargain. Effective against

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pain and insomnia, Barney should be used only when you need relief, but don’t plan on accomplishing much; it tends to remove random links from your chain of thought. The Sour Diesel, on the other hand, has the electric arrival of a neuron-ringing sativa, but, puzzlingly, the flowers I got at Seashore had a sweeter, fruitier taste and odor than most Sour Diesels I’ve had. Sensory aesthetics aside, this weed produces an accomplishment-oriented buzz, and is a good solution if you want to remain productive while controlling your nausea and pain. Then there was the Platinum, a deliciously pungent, delightfully potent indica-dominant strain whose flowers were thickly covered in an intoxicating forest of sticky trichomes, and whose effects became apparent by the second deep-lung toke. This stuff is highly effective against even serious abdominal pain. For the several days that my eighth of Plat lasted, it was my go-to when the pain threatened to wreck my day—and it didn’t let me down a single time. To Seashore’s great credit, they quite reliably keep their WeedMaps.com online menu updated and accurate, which sometimes seems to be the exception rather than the rule in this business. First-time Seashore patients get a free prerolled joint with any donation. Be aware that the collective is located up a steep staircase in a two-story structure, so if you have mobility issues, this may not be the place for you. E tokesignals@seattleweekly.com

Steve Elliott edits Toke of the Town, Village Voice Media’s site of cannabis news, views, rumor, and humor. SEASHORE COLLECTIVE 17517 15th Ave. N.E., Shoreline, 687-7787. (Look for the big green cross on the side of the white, two-story Face Haven building, across the street from Walgreens.) Open 11 a.m.–9 p.m. daily.

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Dear Dategirl, Just found out that my husband signed up for ashleymadison.com. He has cheated in the past, but claims this is innocent . . . that he just saw a commercial on ESPN and wanted to see “what kind of people” signed up for the site. I’m not an idiot and do plan on leaving him, but I’m a stay-at-home mom. How do I get started putting my ducks in a row? I plan on staying two more years until all kids are in school full-time. —Secret Keeper

Do you really want angry mommy and liar daddy to be their relationship model? you’re willing to prolong this farce of a marriage for two years is kind of twisted. I understand that you may feel like you’ll be screwed if you leave this jackass, but does he even know that you know about the stepping-out? If you still love the guy, which you really give no indication of either way, maybe you can work things out with the help of a good therapist. Keeping this knowledge inside, bubbling away like a cauldron of loathing, for two more years seems self-destructive for both you and your kids. Do you really want angry mommy and liar daddy to be their relationship model?

My advice is to either work toward fixing your marriage or end it before it gets any worse. Yes, be smart and watch out for yourself, but two years is too long. Husband is 42 and was recently “downsized.” That same week, his brother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Not surprisingly, my DH is having trouble getting and maintaining an erection. He swears this is the first time this has ever happened, and is totally freaked out. He thinks there’s something physically wrong, and it’s really hurting his ego. How can I help him through this? I’m trying to be as supporting and loving as I can, but I’m so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Do I encourage him to have sex, or let him initiate? Anything else I can say or do? —Trying to be Sexlessly Supportive

You and I both know that either one of these recent unfortunate events would have been enough to soften his stiffy, and on top of all that I’m betting he’s worried that he has some sort of ween cancer, because his brother was just diagnosed. This fear is compounding the stress he’s already under, so it’s no wonder he’s mushy in the pants department. So please, yes, encourage him to see a doctor (and maybe get some little blue pills if everything else checks out OK). Just give him a little space, sexually speaking, but be affectionate and ready to go at a moment’s notice, because that moment will come. And hopefully he will too. E dategirl@seattleweekly.com WANT MORE? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show on the Heritage Radio Network, follow her tweets@DailyDategirl, visit dategirl.net, or buy her new book, The Official Book of Sex, Drugs and Rock ’n’ Roll Lists.

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