VOLUME III / ISSUE VIII / AUGUST 2019
VOCABULARY MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE
JOEY VELEZ, MA, MBA @velezmentalperformance Wellness Contributor
Fundamentally changing something ingrained into our DNA at a subconscious level is a difficult task. The last time we met, we began the process of adjusting our vocabulary to reduce the amount of pressure we placed on ourselves. By utilizing the term “want” instead of “have” or “need,” we provide ourselves with motivation rather than stress. Not only does this change take time, but it also takes practice and continuous messaging to sink in fully. Therefore, we are going to present another fundamental change to our vocabulary; we are eliminating the word, “try.” Yoda, the wisest cinematic character ever created, once told Luke Skywalker, “Do, or do not. There is no try,” while discussing the phenomena of The Force. The meaning of this statement is that by saying “try”, you are implicitly stating that you lack confidence and that you are more likely to fail than succeed.
Personal Experience I rarely felt confident in anything that I did when I was in high school, especially with academics, never a strong suit for me. My reading comprehension was page 176
below average, my interest in studying minimal. Despite these circumstances, I became frustrated when I received poor grades. I went into exams with the “I’ll try my best,” mentality. When I failed those exams, I chastised myself, knowing that I just proved the fact that I was not smart enough. When I received a passing grade, I assumed that I did a phenomenal job at guessing. When people would tell me to try a new approach or a new way of doing things, I attempted them with extreme hesitancy out of fear of embarrassment. When I failed in those situations, I told myself, “I knew it,” and I thought of myself as a failure. On the other hand, when I succeeded, I told myself “You got lucky,” implying that there was no way to succeed without a fluke. It was not until later that I understood learning is a natural part of self-growth, and that failures and mistakes are prerequisites to learning. Once I began to “do” things instead of “trying” to do them, I noticed that I had started to toe the line of my comfort zone and was improving as a person by doing new things. I also began to realize how the word “try” was essentially me saying the word, “no.” •
For example, invitations to events I did not want to attend— my response was, “I’ll try.”
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Thinking about going to the gym— my answer was “I’ll try.”
However, these responses conjured negative feelings. By telling my friends that I would try to make it, I knew I was lying to them—because I did not want
to go—and that was not how I wanted to be viewed. Setting time aside for the gym gave me an excuse to stay home and lie on the couch, which caused me frustration and disappointment. The simple act of removing one word from my vocabulary changed the world for me. I felt more truthful and trustworthy in my responses, and more motivated to go to the gym because it was something I wanted to do instead of something I wanted to try to do.
So, what can you do? Of course, continue utilizing mental cues that help you recognize and adjust your vocabulary, but another tool we can incorporate is visualizing ourselves “doing” an action with a desirable outcome. Visualization is creating or recreating an experience in your mind using your senses or describing a situation and your ideal response to that situation. Visualization can have a positive effect on the enhancement or learning of a new skill, building confidence. It can also correct skills after a mistake or be useful in implementing new strategies. For visualization to be most effective, we utilize as many of our senses as possible, making sure the images are positive, controlled, vivid and as close to real-time as possible. For practice, think about something you have been meaning to do, but have hesitated to tackle because you are scared, unsure or are lacking confi-
