Saving Ourselves - Polyester zine

An Exploration of Reproductive Justice

By

Saving

Ourselves

Growing up, you learn that some of the rights you are given are just as easily taken away. One that has become increasingly under threat is the right to choose, and autonomy over our reproductive rights.

As our governing politicians have become more right wing, those in power seek to reduce the rights we have over our body. If you’ve followed the news over the last five years, this will not be fresh information.

As someone born and raised in England, accessing reproductive healthcare has never been too much of an issue for me.

But as a chronically ill woman, I’ve seen firsthand the squeezing of the NHS, the closing of sexual health clinics, and the often biased treatment you’re subjected to, as a marginalised person, at the hands of doctors.

For many people, abortion is still impossible to obtain safely and legally; including in (but not limited to) Northern Ireland. As our healthcare system continues to be underfunded, and as governments continue to quietly remove our right to choose, those most marginalised will be disproportionately affected. Access to abortion is vital for trans Assistant Editor: Jemima Skala Socials Editor: Hatti Rex Editorial Assistant: Izzy Stokes Intern: Ashley Saville

men, non binary people, people of colour, fat people, and disabled people.

One of the things I’ve always been most proud of since founding Polyester is the community that rallies around it. We have the ability to uplift one another, to make the drudgery of day to day life that little bit easier for each other, and to create a framework in which we can build our own futures. Putting together this publication, I have been educated by every single piece I’ve edited. The zine itself is a mixture of educational, personal, and a call to arms. In many senses it’s a time stamp, as well as a form of resistance.

Whether or not you can get pregnant, reproductive justice is something that affects every single one of us. All proceeds from this zine will be donated directly to Planned Parenthood & Abortion Rights UK, alongside other smaller reproductive based funds and charities.

‘Saving Ourselves’ won’t change the law or stop those in power trying to reduce our rights. But I hope you find something within its pages that resonates with you, and I hope it proves that - as a community - we won’t allow our rights to be revoked without a fight.

Cover and title by Rene Matic. Inside cover by Maisie Cousins

Special thanks to: Kiersty Boon, Gina Stewart, Carlyn McNabb, Bridget Meyne, Alfie Gleeson, Liz Goldwyn, The Sex Ed.

COPYRIGHT & DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in part or whole without written permission from the publishers. ©2019 Polyester Gamble limited and the views expressed in Saving Ourselves - A Polyester zine. are those of theEditor in Chief, and are not neccessarily shared by the publisher, these parties cannot be responsible for them.

By Polly Nor

Immaculate Conception

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Tulip Siddiq MP on why we can only succeed if a greater number of us embrace political activism Illustration by Chao Luong

In the UK, one political frontier to keep an eye on is the impact of Brexit on our maternity rights.

The European Union has given the UK rights such as the Working Time Directive that prevents anyone working over 48 hours a week, which is of immense benefit to working women everywhere.

My fear is that Boris Johnson’s Government, desperate to ‘cut red tape’, will set upon a bonfire of European Union laws that have brought equality to the UK.

pushed back a medically necessary C-Section in order to vote against the Prime Minister’s Brexit plan.

Naturally, I was questioned for taking such an ‘extreme step’, but I did so for two key reasons. First, because I didn’t trust the voting system at the time, which offered to ‘pair’ me with another MP who would take voluntary absence to cancel out my own vote. I didn’t trust it because the Government had failed to honour a pairing arrangement with Jo Swinson when she was on maternity leave the year before.

I have been a fervent opponent of Brexit. Hampstead and Kilburn voted 75% to remain in the European Union and I have sought to represent their views every step of the way. At times, this has meant taking not-so-insignificant sacrifices. In late January 2019, I went against doctor’s orders and

My second reason was a personal judgment call. Though I was exhausted and conscious of the advice from doctors – I believed I had to vote because I wanted to ensure that my constituents were represented in the most crucial vote for a generation.

There are 22,000 European Nationals

who call my constituency their home, and though they cannot vote for me in a general election, I was determined to ensure that their voices were heard. As I said upon my election in 2015, I am a Member of Parliament that will represent Hampstead and Kilburn in Westminster, rather than Westminster in Hampstead and Kilburn. I always try to be true to my word.

elsewhere), I look at the strength of opposition – through movements such as the Women’s March – and I truly believe that my daughter’s generation will experience freedoms that surpass all those before them.

As that famous saying goes, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”

I was thrilled to see the amendment to introduce abortion rights I am pleased to say in Northern “I truly that my decision Ireland passed by believe that my to postpone my a majority in the C-Section in daughter’s generation Commons. This order to vote issue has dragged triggered an will experience freedoms on for far too long. historic change is 2019, and I that surpass all those Itbelieve to Parliament’s that every voting system. woman should them.” before Though the have the right world of politics to control what still retains happens with her systemic biases against women, own body, wherever she lives in the it was heartening to see the United Kingdom. introduction of ‘proxy voting’ in the House of Commons, allowing Should the Northern Ireland MPs who are new parents to have Assembly – which has been closed another MP cast a vote on their for business for a few years – behalf. decide to reconvene temporarily, solely in order to overturn the Though the election of individuals amendments, I would be furious. It such as Donald Trump provide is totally unacceptable for a coterie genuine cause for concern for the of Democratic Unionist Party MPs future of women’s rights (as we to prevent progress on this issue in have seen in the case of regressive Northern Ireland, not least when abortion laws in Alabama and opinion polls show that the people

living there are in favour of reform to abortion laws.

It goes without saying that I want to see Northern Ireland’s devolved assembly control its own affairs, but I am also desperate to see women and LGBT+ people in every corner of the UK treated equally. At the moment, this simply isn’t the case.

As a Member of the Women and Equalities Committee, I am able to take a wider view of reproductive healthcare provision across the UK. The (necessary) focus on Northern Ireland must not relegate the challenges to providing equal access to reproductive healthcare across the rest of the UK. In our recent Committee report on the specific issues relating to human rights and the international obligations of the UK Government in relation to women and girls in Northern Ireland, we also looked at the UK Government’s funding for abortion provision in England.

Though many have welcomed the scheme the Government currently operates, different groups of women and girls experience wholly different levels of access to it.

For example, women on low incomes can apply for meanstested accommodation and travel costs, but they may still lose pay and still must cover childcare

costs. Other women, who may be being abused by their partner, may not be able to risk violence or abuse by accessing the scheme.

The same applies for women with insecure immigration status and without travel documentation.

These discrepancies really struck me and we need to see the political landscape change to rectify them for good.

The fights that women still face in British politics, including to access effective reproductive care, can only succeed if a greater number of people embrace political activism and get involved in the causes that matter to them. As an MP myself, I cannot stress enough the importance of lobbying your MP to act.

It may feel futile at times. You may feel as if ‘one email can’t make a difference’, but I assure you it can.

MPs are incredibly sensitive to local opinion, and this is not limited to the ‘national’ issues such as Brexit.

If the public speaks, MPs should listen, and this is absolutely true of the fight for gender equality in the UK.

Illustration by Laura Hodkin.

Illustration by Nuria Just.

Ashley Armitage

Ashley Armitage

“Art is not a question

of making sense of the world, it’s doing what you need to do.”

Dame Paula Rego on her abortion series, then and now.

In my day, there wasn’t any reproductive healthcare to access.

There was no sex education, my mother told me nothing, people felt embarrassed about their bodies.

It was easier to find out how frogs reproduce than humans. There was a lot of misinformation.

Ridiculous. Information and access to contraception needs to be freely available and straight forward.

Reproductive rights have changed in that it is no longer illegal to have “ an abortion in Portugal or the UK. You can even do it on the NHS. It’s a blissful relief.

is always pressure to control women’s reproductive rights and in some places progress is unravelling. I understand that in the US some states are making it almost impossible to get a safe abortion. This won’t stop abortions.

It was illegal in my day too, and all that meant was that if you were rich, you went to another country to have it done, and if you weren’t, you had to resort to local backstreet solutions. So not only do women have to suffer they are criminalised as well. What’s the point of that? Women don’t have abortions for fun; they have them because they are desperate.

When my “Women were made to feel Goodness knows Abortion Series shame, but the real why abortion remains was first shown at such a heavily ey th at th is e am sh the Gulbenkian, contested issue. the critics talked were made to suffer.””” Men seem to want about the colours to control women’s and the technique, bodies. Women were and none of them made to feel shame about talked about the subject having an abortion but the real matter; they were embarrassed. shame is that they were made to But people knew, they could see what suffer. Women’s reproductive rights they were about. They were untitled are also men’s; after all we don’t get because I didn’t think the pictures pregnant by ourselves, do we? needed individual titles. You can see what they are. If there was a backlash My advice to young people wanting to against the paintings, I didn’t notice. take on political issues in their artistic They were very important for me to practice is to go ahead, paint what you do as so many women had suffered like. Art is not a question of making from unsafe abortions. sense of the world, it’s doing what you need to do. You must do what you feel Unfortunately, my abortion paintings strongly about - courage is important. are still relevant today because there

Baby Inside Me

By Kai Isaiah Jamal ‘There are men. Who want to put a baby inside me.

Inside my trans body.’ there are menwho want to put a baby inside me*. simply because they can. simply because they can put a baby inside me. simply because they can and they want to. there are men who want to. even with my broadening shoulders, and thicker stomach set. with my opening facial hair follicles. even when the sex wont equal consent. even when this body already been through, enough sexual violence, to last a life time. mistrust runs through my pipelines. there are menthere are copsthere are chasersfetishisersthere are doctorsabusers of powerthere are fathersand brothersexes-

there are men who want to put a baby inside me. simply because they can. there are men making laws. simply because they can alabama passes a law that they disguise as a ‘woman’s problem’ but it too be a black one, it to be a working class one, it to be a trans one, a queer one, a gender non conforming one. it to be something to find a way to make us stop breathing, or living. it to be another way of killing us, whilst pretending they are caring for us. a way of closing our throats, of blaming us, of shaming us. there are men, who are making choices on bodies they will never feel the weight of. there are men, who are making choices and laws on people who are carrying themselves, with enough strain to not need carry something else. there are men, who will never know what it is for it to rain everywhere including your bedroom, to know nothing of lack of access of ownership of their bodies. of their bodies, in the same way we do, or I do. in fear or in faith there are men handing people a heart shaped noose and asking them to beat. there are men, who still label me as something I have never had the stomach to be but have the ovaries to make me, they say.

And sometimes I let them - for fear of being alone. with them.

or entered. there are menwho want to put a baby in me. simply, merely, just, because they can. because they can make me anything in their image. because they are hungry. the law passes - my billy holiday vinyl comes to an end. there are some men who are just vile. who want to put a baby in me. there are womenwith picket signs and and colorado clinics with bullets in the walls, who are still telling me** to find a way to fall, to my knees for god. there are men with guns, who get a hospital bed for shooting a clinic.

Simply because they are men and they are white.

And their right to life will always be something. there are men asking me to fall to my knees for a man.

Maybe God was out here protecting all the men, to stop think about me. nobody is praying for me, nobody is holding me, nobody is protecting me. thats what your law says. *the lines, repeated - there are men who want to put a baby in me, relate to my personal experience as a trans man **the latter half of the poem aim’s to give a voice for my trans brothers, non-binary siblings, black women, queer women in the US.

Opposite illustration: Hannah Buckman

By Jacky Sheridan.

Illustration by Marlena Synchyshyn Opposite page by Maisie Jo.

Mantra For My Unborn Daughter Your wisdom is sacred: protect it.

Do not waste your energy on those who do not understand, on those for whom there is no hope.

For there is not hope for everyone, nor has there ever been hope for all. All you can do is preserve your own energy in order to sustain yourself for whatever may come, and for those who are able to listen and give back. You must know what you have got and how to use it to your advantage. Hone your skills, sharpen your wit, learn to adapt, to listen well and right the first time.

Understand patience and forgiveness, but do not let people exploit or mistake your kindness for weakness.

Be just and try to avoid conflict for the sake of conflict, Also, Know what you believe in and come to terms with the things for which you would die protecting.

To know yourself is a gift – do not let yourself be corrupted by others.

Ground yourself internally so no matter where you are taken, where you go in life – by force or by choice – your home is carried within like an anchor.

Understand the power of language, of written words, and be aware of things you say now, and how easy it is for words to be manipulated out of context.

Do not give too much of yourself away, energy reserves are not infinite: if they are not replenished or nourished, it is too easy to succumb to a weakening of your spirit.

At all costs, ensure your spirit is well, pure, clean, alive.

Rid yourself of vain and petty ego-driven obsessions.

Build up your physical strength.

Don’t expose yourself too much.

Protect and honour your wisdom, you are sacred.

By Luisa Le Voguer Couyet

Control

By Signe Pierce

CONTROL is unabashedly literal in its focus on two of the most pervasive issues facing the Resistance Movement: gun violence and women’s rights. While image’s subject matter may seem obvious in its thematic approach, it begs one to consider the myriad paradoxes surrounding these two focal issues.

Gun control and birth control are historically controversial topics, largely because they each are embroiled in fundamental philosophical debates surrounding life and death, right and wrong, and personal responsibility. Why is it easier to get a gun in some parts of the country than it is to attain birth control?

Why is there a criminalized stigma surrounding the termination of unwanted pregnancies, yet mechanized weapons are readily and easily available? Why is it that women are forbidden from making their own decisions regarding their bodies and health, as well as their futures and children?

Women have been abused, enslaved, ignored, and institutionally exploited since the beginning of time. We have fought for decades for our freedom, yet the Trump Administration seeks to ignore our strides towards equality by attempting to hijack our personal agency as human beings. However, the women of the United States are not going to allow ourselves, our bodies, or our rights to be held hostage any longer.

CONTROL is a disarmament of patriarchal constructs that dictate what we are and are not allowed to do.

CONTROL is a swift, blunt reminder that in order to know thy enemy, we must also know thyself.

CONTROL is the refusal of submission when faced with adversity.

CONTROL is a call to arms.

Rene Matic

What Rage Has

Taught Me

By Courtney Love

When thinking of a person who has a funny novelty film to hear the always stood their ground, who has faced Pogues sing sea shanties every night the world as a woman unapologetically drunk on sangria. The first film set I and unafraid to disrupt — Courtney Love was ever on was Sam Peckinpah’s last is one of the first people that springs to film, the “Osterman Weekend”. I my mind. Watching her perform and worked sort of in Paramount Studios listening to her lyrics taught me the power wardrobe department, and was the in being as loud and unashamed of who recipient of miraculous gowns from you are. In a world that urges femmes to the 1920s silent era of films with be quiet, agreeable, and content; Courtney some forgotten and some not stars showed me that our — sometimes messy — names sewn in, so had a magnificent emotions are not to be locked up with a wardrobe early in Hollywood. thrown away key. Below, her words on finding the balance between rage My friends and I in bands, and mindfulness, and her musings we also ran into a lot of on language and power, men trying to hurt seem more pressing us, in my case to “Disruption should make than ever. fuck with me on - Ione Gamble epic levels, we others uncomfortable, should didn’t have victim make you feel I am lucky in that I language like you cringey and prickly have a creative outlet do now. All I and most of all it should cause for my opinions; could do to say change.”” my music. If I write was write a song, a song it is because (Retard Girl) and I have something to stand in the street with one say. Back when I was a kid shoe and runny mascara and coming around, coming up, I was hitchhiking back to Hollywood incredibly fortunate to run into Blvd from Melrose. But to go to many genius loci spirits of place, and Hollywood LAPD? A punk girl? mad coincidence that shaped me.

Late 80s? A stripper? Attempted what? They’d have thrown me Joe Strummer was my great friend for in the dumpster, I mean it. You a bit — stuff like that. I saw Echo and ladies are lucky. Don’t waste your the Bunnymen rehearsing “Killing resources crying wolf every time you Moon” and covering “Marquis feel annoyed.

Moon”, I met Tom Cruise at Charlie Sheen’s house, shit that’s incredible. In my opinion, outspoken women I lived in ley lines. I was privy on are demonised and belittled by our

society due to weaponised feminism.

Women who are from the kick, punch, scream, and yell until they leave us alone generation will still struggle to channel their conversations within society.

in me will ask for “compromise and flexibility” and that’s also great, on most occasions, but crystal facet fury is cleansing for me.

You do not get entree to magic without The three pieces of advice having to see what goes on in the actual I would give to young corridors of power. The real show. We must collect for ourselves, as women, as people today: much real power as possible. No amount 1. Take care of your health. In of mimsy whining will take you there.

Sweden and Japan they don’t have ‘chronic pain’ culture. Take care of I’m extremely lucky I caught a winning your teeth, and pain, with different hand. I fill my brain up with mostly modalities than opiates; anxiety extremely pleasant stuff so that I with exercise as well as a spiritual am seeing the wondrous benevolent discipline. universe most of the time. So that a bowl 2. Learn world religion, all the of stone fruit with tomatoes or a Pret a main ones, and main artworks, Manger pickle ploughman sandwich including ones you don’t like on is so decadent and great. And also? I both fronts. The systems you learn can do rage beautifully because I know will serve you whether you enjoy exactly when I’m right. I’m lucky. learning it or not. It will protect you in a pragmatic way against the I’m lucky rage burns off the deadwood worst sort of energies and people. when incandescent righteousness is a 3. Learn to speak clearly and great thing, a righteous wrathful Old plainly. Do not whine or revert into Testament energy can be extremely new age gobble unicorn fairy speak. useful if you absolutely know you Conversely do not slide into bossy are correct. It’s true disruption, I catastrophic alarmist language, see people with clips on at summits or nobody will take you seriously talking about disruption; son, you on either side. I continue to see don’t know disruption, I got you, sit discussions that aren’t productive down. Disruption should make others because nobody in real power takes uncomfortable, should make you them seriously. feel cringey and prickly and most of all it should cause change. Righteous Artwork by Chloe Sheppard. fury. It’s always doomed, but man, it changes stuff. Of course, the anodyne

Astra Blaug’s Archive

The Feminist Library

Clio Peppiatt

Bernice Mulenga

The First Person I Told Was My Grandmother. ..

By Rakel Mjoll Illustration by Sof i e Birkin Huddled up on her sofa in Reykjavik, holding her hand trying to muster the words: ‘I’m pregnant’.

They were stuck in the back of my throat and were slowly being pushed towards the tip of my tongue. If I released them from the trappings of my mouth and into the air, that would mean that the words rang true. That the eight-week foetus was growing inside my young body, was in fact real. She saw my red eyes, heard the fear and frustration in my voice and told me she understood.

She already knew my decision to terminate my pregnancy and she supported it. Because she too had stood at these same crossroads six decades ago.

Abortion became legal in Iceland 1975 due to the efforts of the feminist political party in Parliament at the time that campaigned for the

women’s right to choose and were backed by a group of respected doctors.

Mine was legal, her’s hadn’t been.

Sitting there on my grandmother’s sofa, we did not say much more. In my state of shock, I didn’t ask. All I knew was that she too had been young, had an abortion, and that life went on. We sat there in our mutual sorrow.

Years later, at the start of this summer, we were in her kitchen preparing lunch and listening to the radio. The news about Alabama’s abortion ban was being discussed and alongside an overview of the events leading to legalisation of safe abortions in Iceland.

‘Is this world going backwards now?´ she sighed. Once we sat down to the table, my grandmother took my hand once again and there by the kitchen table, shared her story with me. She was now ready to tell it and now I was ready to listen.

In the 50sweinface Currently, Reykjavik, the very real therethreat was of undoing only one doctor Roe vs. whoWade’s carriedlandmark out the accomplishment procedure.

She tells which me ensures that was that the women safest route, ultimately she pauses make and their says it own was child-birthing the least dangerous decisions. route butThrough none of the subtle them were strategies close to being to ban safe. abortion It was by conservative expensive, you were legislators, sworn the to secrecy rights of low-income and it happened women after closing and hours women in of doctor’s the colour are patients too room. often the first compromised, and are designed to go unnoticed My grandmother by the untrained moved toeye.

London Pulling to it all into laser-sharp attorney study theater shortly focus after isthis event andher in advocate life. Her Imani father Gandi; had passed we chatted away withleft and theher co-host with an of inheritance Boom! Lawyered which about she used keytoabortion fund herlegislation education.cases, She effective tells me ways one of youher canregrets take action, was never and why thisher telling is one father of about the most the pivotal abortion of moments or sharingin what the she history was of going reproductive through. rightsborrowed She and justice. and collected money to pay for the operation because she couldn’t ask her father for the funds.

The economy in Iceland was poor during those post-war years, and studying abroad, especially for a young woman, was almost unheard of. I have always admired my grandmother for her bravery to leave the island in those days without having parents alive to support her or encourage. I wondered if her decision to not become a young mother had any role to play in taking that leap to move to England. For myself, I knew I didn’t want to become a mother before pursuing a higher education. So making the choice to not become a mother, I made the choice to start crafting a new narrative to my life. I applied to art school in Brighton and I now work in London. At the

notion of me pairing our two stories together and their similarities, she simply looked at me. ‘It had nothing to do with my wanting to study in London and pursue a career in the arts.’ Fair.

My grandmother’s generation were told to keep silent about these traumas. They were told to bury it with shame fueled by guilt. For her to share with me her story was a rare window opening that I am thankful for. There are all these hidden family stories that I will never hear going back many generations of women that share my blood, that carried this weight of shame that was taught to them by society. Some took this shame with them to the grave, risked their lives under the knife, in the dark hours, told no one, to be able to have a chance to choose a future.

I feel and accept the weight of the women who came before me and their fight for us to speak openly about pregnancy termination, to provide access to safe operations: the same fight we still continue today. The world does feel at times like it is going backwards. Looking over to Northern Ireland, we are reminded to use our voice and show up for those who still live in the same conditions as my grandmother’s teenage self, to carry their weight, to take away their shame, to normalise the conversation and fight for the right to choose.

Luisa Le Voguer Couyet

Turn It Up An Annotated Playlist By Sayang Sounds As a non-binary person, the topic of abortion was once a personally loaded one. However, as someone who has also had to live a big part of my life as a “woman” and someone who is from Malaysia, I believe that abortion is a conversation that we should all be having, fighting for and ensuring that womxn, trans and non-binary people across the world have access to.

In Malaysia, abortion is only legal if it is deemed to save the pregnant person’s life or their mental health. However, this is abused and controlled by cis-men who have positions of power and, in many cases, an unwillingness to open minds and listen to the varying reasons that a person may need an abortion. This transcends my homeland and is shockingly common in both law, public opinion and doctors’ views across many countries in the world.

No person should ever have to

explain themselves, reveal deeply personal and irrelevant information or be afraid over the consequences to their life or their families lives for an abortion. Years of patriarchal laws and opinions have created damaging, dangerous and misogynist societies for many non-cis-men to occupy and it has led to many people seeking underground abortions which don’t take place in hospitals or surgeries, or by medically qualified people.

Thinking about how abortion laws affect those from Malaysia and the many countries who also criminalise abortion, as well as the fact that abortion was legalised in the Republic of Ireland only last year, I wanted to create a playlist that reflects some of my thoughts surrounding the conversation. I created a six-part playlist, moving through a variety of emotion centred on abortion, reclaiming our bodies and mentalities that are so damaging to non-cis men and those seeking abortions across the world.

Part 1: Body

For my first part, I wanted to focus on the abstract emotion, thought and physicality of a non-cis man’s body. Alongside exploring its beauty, I also explore the emotion centred around how many womxn seeking abortion are put on a pedestal and objectified, especially in countries or states where abortion is criminalised.

DJ Sprinkles - Hush Now Sevdaliza - Human Fatima Al Quadri - Spiral ft Bobo Secret Bjork - Arisen My Senses

Part 2: Barriers

These songs capture a feeling of claustrophobia and need for escape that womxn and non-cis-men may resonate with. It focuses on the emotions created by decisions being systemically taken away from the people who should be making them. Your body is your body.

The decisions should be yours only.

SOPHIE - Is It Cold In The Water?

Arca - DesafIo Siouxsie & the Banshees – Happy House Lord Narf - Can’t Breathe Eryka Badu - Window Seat

Part 3: Speak

Here is an exploration of recognition and understanding of abortion rights from allies.

Using privilege and uplifting marginalised people will bring difficult conversations to light and cause them to be more recognised by those in power and who are withholding abortion rights. We need to speak together, be heard and be amplified.

FKA Twigs - In Time Kelala - Frontline Nova Heart - My Song 9 The Knife - Marble Houses Kali Uchis ft Jorja Smith - Tyrant

Part 4: Fight

The strength of so many womxn and those who fought to pave the way for abortion laws to be abolished in certain countries, gives myself and many others courage. Here, I have selected a few of the songs that are inspired by these phenomenal women and embody my own fight. They’re also a massive F U to the cis men who have said no to womxn seeking abortion and who don’t bother to look outside of their own small worlds.

Tommy Genesis - Execute Princess Nokia - Katana M.I.A - Bring the noise ICE3PEAK - Sad Bitch Big Momma - Dentata

Part 5: Strength

For my final part, I wanted to pay tribute to the mothers, daughters, sisters, siblings and those who have walked their own path and reached wherever they are in their lives right now. For those I know have had abortions in Malaysia, your strength is inspiring and beautiful.

Robyn x Royskopp - Monument Sampa The Great - Energy (feat. Nadeem Din-Gabisi) Rina Sawayama - Alterlife Oh Yoko - DJ Sprinkles Ambient Ballroom Nina Simone - Everyone Must Change

Panteha Abareshi

Illustration By Eve Archer.

How Our Bodies Are Treated Like Vehicles

Stella Creasy MP on why we must keep campaigning for abortion rights in Northern Ireland and the UK.

Stormont, the Northern Ireland Assembly, hasn’t sat for over two years.

In that time, over two thousand women have been forced to travel to England for abortion or to order pills online.

In February 2018, the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women found that Northern Ireland’s abortion laws mean that women are ‘subjected to grave and systematic violations of rights through being compelled to either travel outside Northern Ireland to procure a legal abortion or to carry their pregnancy to term.’ In June 2018, the UK Supreme Court found that the law was in need of ‘radical reconsideration’ and ‘treated women like vehicles’ and found that the law breached human rights in the cases of sexual violence and fatal fetal anomalies.

the Government bowed to DUP MPs who did not want to see the law change just so that they could secure a Brexit deal that we have yet to see happen.

The UK Government denied their responsibilities to address these international concerns about the treatment of women in Northern Ireland by arguing that human rights are a devolved issue. Women in England have had access to abortion for fifty years, and women in the Republic of Ireland won access to abortion after their historic campaign to repeal the Eighth Amendment. Were we as politicians really going to stay quiet while women’s homes are raided for abortion pills, while a mother is being prosecuted for getting abortion pills for her 15 year old daughter, and while

“Were we as politicians really going to stay quiet while women’s homes are raided for abortion pills?”

A Westminster law was preventing women in Northern Ireland getting an abortion if they need. I was tired of being told abortion in Northern Ireland is a “sensitive” issue which we can do nothing about. It’s precisely because abortion is an issue of the utmost sensitivity to the women involved that action is required.

Sections 58 and 59 of the Offences Against the Persons Act 1861 mean

that women in Northern Ireland can face up to life in prison for abortion, a healthcare procedure which is accessible across the rest of the UK on the NHS. I feel strongly that women in Northern Ireland

must not be treated as second class citizens of the UK - facing life in prison because of a Westminster law which predates women having the right to vote.

It is not acceptable to force these women onto a plane to access the care they need, or leave them bleeding in airport terminals waiting to go home..

As elected representatives, we need to engage with this – not find excuses, workarounds or simple shoulder shrugging. During the Tory Leadership contest, not one candidate said that they would take action to change the law on abortion in Northern Ireland.

They were happy to stand over a law which meant that women in Northern Ireland could face up to life in prison for abortion even in cases of rape.

We have been working for years to secure abortion rights in Northern Ireland. In 2017, the Government agreed to fund abortion in England for women and girls traveling form Northern Ireland but that was just a sticking plaster - since then 28 women a week have travelled to England from Northern Ireland to access abortion in England.

Abortion has been accessible in England and Wales but women in Northern Ireland have still been

living under an abortion ban. The amendment which I tabled and was passed in July means that if Stormont is not up and running by October 21st, abortion in Northern Ireland will be decrimialised by Parliament and regulation which are in line with human rights standard will be put in place by March. Women in Northern Ireland have been left behind for too long and it was not good enough for Parliament wring its hands while women are denied their rights.

I have spoken to many women and heard the suffering they have endured because they cannot access healthcare services that many people take for granted in England. They have been forced to travel, others have taken abortion pills at home without feeling they could go to the doctor if something went wrong, others have been dragged through the courts to beg for equal rights to women in England. When a woman in Northern Ireland doesn’t have the same right to control her own body as a woman in Walthamstow, that’s an injustice.

If Stormont is not formed by October 21st, abortion in Northern Ireland will be decriminalised. This will mean that there can’t be any more arrests, raids for pills or court trials for abortion. Where we could see delay is in the implementation of a system of regulation which makes abortion available on the NHS in Northern

Ireland; the government want to consult on how to implement abortion before they roll out a system. The regulations will need to be human rights compliant, but it is disappointing that women in Northern Ireland are going to be subjected to a consultation on access to abortion that women in England never had to go through.

The fight will continue to make sure that the regulations are robust and that the government doesn’t delay them.

We are seeing a rollback of reproductive rights globally - from America to Poland - and we cannot rest on our laurels in the UK. We need to keep fighting for abortion access here, and in some ways the battle is just starting. We need national legislation on buffer zones so women are not harassed outside clinics; we need to make sure that women in Northern Ireland get free, safe, legal and local abortion, and stand up to any delaying tactics; and we need to decrimialise abortion in England and Wales where abortion is still technically a criminal offence even though it is relatively accessible. We must show solidarity with women across the world who are fighting for the right to decide what happens to their own bodies.

On a a we verage, 2 ek cr oss t 8 women he I Se abort a to get a rish n ion i n En gland .

The 1861 Offences Against The Persons Act makes procuring a miscarriage, or assisting a person in seeking one, punishable by life imprisonment. This law is still in effect unless Stormont doesn’t reconvene before October 21 2019

The recent votes in Parliament have shown d that we are no longer willing to stand by legalise t c A n o while people in Northern Ireland and i 7 Abort hout Great denied their basic human rights. The votes The 196 throug signalled a sea change, but we won’t rest abortion , but this did Britain to Northern until can be confident any woman there can nd actually get a safe, legal and local abortion if not exte land.

Ire she wants.

To The Opposition...

Photography by Chloe Sheppard.

A Letter By Kenny Ethan Jones

To the opposition, Freedom of speech but no freedom of body. Where is the sense? Where is the humanity? There is no right answer, but there should be a choice.

class issue. Abortions are used to help manage households in many ways. It’s a way to protect income, as having another child is a big financial commitment.

Having a break between births is a way to ensure that each child receives the amount of attention, loving and general life schooling that they deserve.

I write this to you from the depths of my concerns. Why shouldn’t we, as humans, have a choice?

What about trans men, intersex and non-binary individuals? This group, my I’m sad that people who can conceive group, will be highly affected. As a pre-op have no control over their own trans man currently taking testosterone, bodies. I’m sad that many people becoming pregnant is a slim, but real, will be forced to parent a child they possibility of mine. There is a massive find so hard to love. I’m sad that lack in both research and knowledge many children won’t have a place when it comes to trans people; we to call home. I’m sad that children already lack ethical healthcare and this will be forced to raise children. I’m acts as another form of blacklisting. As sad that one-night love affairs could Megan Crabbe, aka @bodyposipanda, so leave a life-long consequence. immaculately worded on her Instagram, _____________ “these bans are attacks on bodily autonomy & safety of anyone who owns I don’t believe that banning abortions a uterus (inc. women, trans men & nonserves any good to the human race; binary people)”. in fact, I believe it will create more problems. Overpopulation is a crisis We are stripping people of their this ban feeds. People will start to human rights. Children can be the seek unregulated options out of most beautiful, fulfilling and rewarding pure desperation. Forcing people creation to a willing parent. to parent a child that they are not anticipating or equipped to deal I urge you to reconsider your opposed with is a fast-track to depression. opinion from a selfless and logical point Many children will be raised without of view, for the better good of all humans experiencing a wholesome, loving and for living a fruitful life. Thank you. home.

Signed, What about how this directly affects Kenny Ethan Jones low-income households? This is a

Marlena Synchyshyn

My list of questions for the American government pertaining to abortion: How does it effect you what happens in my body?

Does it make you sad?

Is a governing body allowed to have feelings?

Especially feelings about my body?

If I voted to elect you, do you to work on my behalf?

Do you care what I want?

What if it is just not the right time?

What if I was raped?

Does that make a difference?

Does it make a difference if I’m a teenager?

Do you feel better or worse if I’m a teenager?

But I have my whole life ahead of me, what do you think?

What if I’m an adult happily married woman who just doesn’t want a kid today?

What if I’m just any woman?

Do I need to justify myself to my government?

Can the government justify itself to me?

Is the government going to pay for my child’s up bringing and education to a standard I agree with if the government wouldn’t let me have an abortion?

Are we going to get universal health care?

Is the government going to give me mental health tools to cope with being forced into not having an abortion?

If the government bans abortions, but I still f igure out how to have one, is the government going to send me to jail?

For doing what I think is best for me?

In a way which really doesn’t effect or impact on the government?

But I currently pay taxes on my abortion, isn’t that enough for you?

Will controlling this aspect of my body be enough for you?

Will you want more?

Is this a slippery slope?

Sincerely, Rosa Mercuriadis

Words by Honey Ross. Illustration by Melek Zertal.

The Obvious Choice

‘Broody’ is a word many would use to describe me. It’s a strange thing, but from a very early age, I just knew motherhood was an integral part of my being. Despite the fact that I haven’t had a baby, being a mum is a

huge part of my identity – mother of my friendship groups, mother to cats.

I’m the person who lingers a little too long looking at baby clothes – the tiny shoes, I just can’t help it. I see a man pushing a stroller, and honestly, I’m

fully dilated. To really hammer this point home: a friend once had to force a morning after pill into my mouth after I’d been particularly reticent to end the fantasy of accidently falling pregnant. I’m that bitch.

In debates around abortion, I had of course always fallen stridently on the side of pro-choice, because, well duh, it’s the obvious fucking choice.

As much as I love babies, and the idea of having something growing inside me, I know that for many people, that’s their idea of hell. People don’t want kids for a multitude of different reasons, and every reason is just as valid. But saying this, it always felt a little removed from me, because I knew deep down that it wasn’t ever something I could see myself even contemplating doing. I’ve fantasised about motherhood at any cost for as long as I could remember. Or at least so I thought.

At the start of 2018, the unimaginable happened. I was raped. My world as I knew it dissolved and everything seemed to be in some kind of cruel, haunted carnival filter. A ghoulish hall of mirrors reflected back an unfamiliar reality. As a final twist of the knife, according to my period tracker app, the incident had happened slap bang in the middle of my fertile window. In the days after it happened, I didn’t have the capability to leave my house. I didn’t get plan B.

I didn’t ask someone to get it for me.

I was paralysed with guilt, shame and sadness.

The duration you have to wait to take a pregnancy test is already a torturous amount of time. Roughly three weeks, or as long as it takes to tell you’ve missed your period. I knew that this was the thing I’d put out of my mind every time I’d told my friends I could never imagine getting an abortion. To me, giving birth to a child that grew from one of the greatest traumas of my life would kill me. Despite my desire from the youngest age to have children, this trumped everything. In those weeks I waited desperately, I learnt the true necessity of having this choice so readily available. I had the luxury to picture a future that contained me, still traumatised but at least not breastfeeding a constant reminder of someone who violated my being.

This vision kept me going, and that’s all thanks to the freedom we have to choose.

My period arrived twelve days late. I wept on the floor.

Whatever the reason, whatever the circumstance, the right to abortion is something I will always defend in an intense and primal way, because just knowing it was there saved my life.

“Donald Trump’s Abortion Law Will Cost The Lives Of Women”” Harriet Harman, Mother of the House of Commons, reports on her visit to Ethiopia with abortion rights charity Marie Stopes International.

Illustration by Handi Kim.

Women need access to advice and healthcare when they face an unwanted pregnancy, or when something goes wrong with their pregnancy. We must make sure that we don’t do anything which makes a woman in difficult circumstances she doesn’t want to be in, feel that she has less choice, or is forced to continue with a pregnancy against her will.

I strongly support the work on sexual and reproductive health of organisations like the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, Marie Stopes International and Planned Parenthood who provide

advice and facilities for abortion and contraception, often in challenging and dangerous environments. They have ensured better contraception, better advice and better health which I and millions of women of mine and subsequent generations are grateful for. They help women avoid being forced into seeking unsafe abortions, saving thousands of lives every year.

They help women exercise their right to choose.

So I was appalled that as one of his first acts as US President, Donald Trump committed to the ‘Mexico City Policy’. This so-called ‘Global Gag Rule’ prohibits any US Federal

funds going to organisations that provide abortion counselling or referrals, advocate to decriminalise abortion, or expand abortion services.

On an All-Party Parliamentary Group visit to Ethiopia with Marie Stopes to look at the issues of abortion, contraception and maternal health, I saw for myself how Donald Trump cutting off funds for them and other abortion services is turning the clock back on this progress and endangering women’s lives. We met doctors, students, MPs and some of the women they’ve helped, and visited the often rudimentary hospitals and clinics where they work, including one clinic in a refugee camp in Shire, Tigray, near the Ethiopian border with Eritrea.

The Ethiopian Government has worked hard with international NGOs to help women and to reduce the risk of unsafe abortions and maternal deaths. Since the legalisation of abortion in 2005 and the establishment of the new Ethiopian Department of Health Strategy on Reproductive Health, there has been remarkable progress for women. The percentage of unsafe abortions in Ethiopia has fallen by half.

But now Trump’s gag rule threatens this hard-fought progress. The International Women’s Health Coalition says that two years on from

the Global Gag Rule, there is increased stigmatization of reproductive health services and these critical health services in Africa and Asia are closing or fragmenting. The estimates are alarming.

For women in Ethiopia this means: 88,467 more unplanned pregnancies 5,822 more unsafe abortions - putting women’s lives at risk 82 more maternal deaths every year Organisations like Marie Stopes are charities - they don’t work for profit. Their only interest is to help women to avoid unwanted pregnancy and offer the choice where there is one. I hate to see these highly professional health organisations, which have helped and supported so many women, being demonized. Even more worryingly, while these funds can no longer go to NGOs which provide abortion, Trump’s order means funds instead go to evangelical organisations which

advocate abstinence and other measures which don’t work and set back women’s development. This is not only a threat to the women I met in Ethiopia. Marie Stopes International has lost £30m, representing 17% of their total income.

They are working to make up the gap with additional funds, including from the UK and the Netherlands.

“The more progress you make and the more women’s voices are heard, the greater this misogynist backlash.”

Marie Stopes prevents 21,000 maternal deaths in 37 countries around the world every year. Trump’s executive order is directly threatening each one of these women’s lives and their families that would be torn apart. It’s not Donald Trump – and his all-male advisory team who beamed as he signed on the dotted line – who should be making choices about women’s health. Women should be able to make those choices themselves.

The battleground over women’s access to safe abortion has reemerged, emboldened and legitimised by Trump’s White House. The more progress you make and the more women’s voices are heard, the greater this misogynist backlash. Abortion surged to the top of the agenda in the US this year after several states passed laws that will ban nearly all abortions. Here

in the UK, women in Northern Ireland still cannot yet access a safe abortion in their own country, having to have enough money and time to travel to England for one.

That is soon to change after we MPs won a landmark amendment to the Government’s Northern Ireland Bill, stating that if no power-sharing assembly returns to Stormont by October 21, abortions will be decriminalised in Northern Ireland the following day.

Women’s rights are human rights.

We have to fight to stop the clock being turned back. I am urging Prime Minister Boris Johnson to call on Donald Trump to reverse this cruel and dangerous executive order. If the Prime Minister is serious and committed to standing up for women’s rights around the world, this is what he would do.

This page: Tania Guerra. Opposite: Theresa Baxter.

The Spiritual Guilt Of Abortion Tori West explores the implications of abortion across the religious spectrum.

A symptom of abortion that is often overlooked in secular societies is the spiritual guilt that those who practise faith experience, as well as the physical and emotional effects.

Historically, religion’s views on prochoice have been extremely complex.

Most world religions and faiths have strong positions on abortion, as it encompasses profound issues of life and death, and debates of right and wrong. In times of difficulty, people often turn to their faith for advice and comfort, but as Pope Francis recently compared abortion

to hiring a hitman, it comes as no surprise that spiritual guilt is a legitimate side-effect.

Although society perceives the majority of world religions as antiabortion, in contemporary practice, that isn’t quite the case. There are multiple ways that people choose to practise their faith and in many cases, the views of an individual member of a particular faith don’t align with its wider teachings on abortion, or the teachings aren’t fully clear.

onto say that our creator is both most merciful and forgiving.”

In terms of Buddhism, there’s no clear view on abortion; although traditional Buddhism rejects it because it involves the deliberate destroying of a life. Modern Buddhists, however, are more divided on the issue as they accept personal responsibility for their decisions and the consequences that follow.

Although society perceives the majority of world religions as anti-abortion, in also doesn’t forbid contemporary practice, that Judaism abortion; however, it doesn’t permit the procedure onisn’t quite the case.

“I practice Islam. Islam’s views vs. my views vs other Muslims’ views on reproductive rights differ but also have similarities. It’s a bit odd because you’ll hear something about abortion from one sect that totally negates how another feels about it,” says Muslim author and social influencer Leah Vernon.

“Islamic faith states that abortion is wrong and haram (forbidden), but many accept that it may be permitted in certain cases,” Leah adds. “But, it also says in the Quran to use your common sense. And, then also goes

demand. Strict Judaism permits abortion only in cases where continuing the pregnancy would put the mother’s life in serious danger.

Many conservative politicians will often say that their prolife arguments are biblically influenced.

Earlier this year, Alabama’s Governor Kay Ivey signed the United States’ most restrictive ban on abortion, making it illegal in nearly all circumstances, even in cases of rape and incest.

Writing against abortion in 2018 on Alabama news outlet Yellowhammer News, Gov. Ivey said, “my faith has always

Illustration by Ranafarba.

come first for me... That’s why as Governor, protecting religious freedom, and our values, remains my top priority.”

Christians is pro-life, but for mainline groups, Pew’s polling data shows the majority are pro-choice: 64% of American Methodists are prochoice, 63% of Presbyterians, 79% of However, based on a literal reading Episcopalians and 65% of Lutheran of the Bible, it does not recognise a Christians. foetus as a fully human life subject to the same rights as a birthed “From my reading of the Bible, I can person. As early as Genesis 2:7, the see that Jesus loved, and was there Bible states that life begins at birth, for vulnerable women,” A continues. declaring that God “A m o n g s t “breathed into his many things, he [Adam’s] nostrils the stopped a woman In contemporary soul of life, and man who was accused became a living soul.” adultery faith, there’s a large of The verse implies being majority of people who from that until Adam took stoned to death, his first breath he are pro-woman, pro-child taught women was not considered a scripture on a and pro-choice. living being.

Sunday (both were illegal) and “I think with spoke in public Christians talking to a woman about abortion it is difficult with a ‘bleeding disorder’ which was because the Bible is old, has been considered a huge taboo at the time.” written in multiple languages and then translated multiple times,” We must remember that, regardless says A, a queer Christian, originally of societal assumptions on world practising at the Holy Trinity religion’s complex view on abortion, Brompton church in London, arguments of pro-choice and prowho has requested to remain life are binary and often flawed. In anonymous. contemporary faith, there’s a large majority of people who are proThere are also many different woman, pro-child and pro-choice. ways that people identify on the Every individual should be entitled issue of reproductive rights within to believe anything he or she chooses Christian faith in the US. The to believe — and every person that can dominant perspective of evangelical procreate should be allowed access to safe reproductive healthcare.

As a child I was horrendously nosey, and one of my favourite things to do was look at my family’s text messages on their phones when they’d leave their phone around. This was waaaay before the conversations were laid out for you like iMessage. I remember gawking through the ‘inbox’, then ‘sent box’ to try and put the conversations together.

As you can imagine, I found out a fair amount of shit that a kid probably shouldn’t. When I was 10, I found a text between my mum and my auntie, (who I lived with) explaining that my mum had had an abortion. I’m not sure how I knew what an abortion was at 10 years old — I don’t think we’d got taught it at schools then — I’d probably read about it somewhere or seen it in a film. I remember it sitting with me in my stomach, feeling heavy and sad about it because I was only seeing it from such a selfish point of view. As an only child, all I could think about was that my mum had wrecked my chances at having a sibling that I wanted so badly. As I got older, and more exposed to the horrors of this world, and especially people, I understood my mother’s choice more and more, and now looking back on it at 23 years old, it’s so clear that an abortion was her only choice.

I spoke to her for this piece because she’s the person I’ve known the longest who’s had one, and the person I’d want with me if I had one. I’ve thought about it and suppose it’s quite an odd

conversation, and somewhat hypocritical to have for this piece. I feel like a pro-lifer would say “you do realise if your mum had aborted you, you wouldn’t be able to write this, blah blah blah.” My imagined reply to that would highlight the difference in situations between my dad and the scum she got pregnant with after, and that in certain circumstances abortion is the only choice, and that the need for it to be safe and legal is so so key.

My mum is quite different to me in some of her views. In this she uses the term ‘loose’, talks about feeling old at 35, and I see the internalised misogyny that I try to get her to unlearn because it isn’t right. I knew that before her abortion, she would’ve felt against them. One of those classic ‘I didn’t realise I should care about this until it happened to me’ things, no offense mum. I hadn’t really ever had a proper conversation with her about her abortion, (why would I, and expose my sneaky 10 year old ways?) until now. My mum was adopted when she was born, suffered with terrible anxiety when I was a child which meant I couldn’t live with her, and as I found out when I got older, had gotten pregnant with an abusive piece of shit, meaning she needed

an abortion. Having had first hand experience of both adoption and abortion, I know my mum could make some strong cases against a prolifer.

I was about 35, to be a parent.

I don’t think that’s old really. Some people have kids in their 40s.

True. Like Halle Berry.

As I was recording this interview, my mum kept interrupting me, implying that I’d made the need for it up, and was actually pregnant myself and trying to divulge information about how to get an abortion. To be fair, judging from my 10-year-old-snoopingthrough-texts-self, I don’t blame her for thinking that that’s something I’d do, but mum – here is the interview in print that you thought to be a lie, and even though I’m not currently pregnant, I feel lucky knowing I’d have your support if I ever did need an abortion, when that support is something so many people need right now and don’t have.

What was the main reason you wanted to get an abortion?

Well, the guy that I was with was violent and I didn’t want to bring a baby into a world where its dad was like that, where he could possibly be violent to the kid.

If you hadn’t been able to have one, how would it have impacted you at the time?

Miserably. I was suffering very, very badly back then with my anxiety and panic attacks, and as we know it impacted on you when you were a kid - I didn’t want to put another child through that, like not being able to get them to school, not being able to take them out on day trips etc because of my anxiety issues.

Did your stance on abortion change by having to get one?

Yes, I would say that before I couldn’t understand how someone could get rid of a ‘child’, I looked at it, as well, like ‘murder’ and thought it was the most selfish thing someone could do, when there’s people that can’t get pregnant in the first place.

Was that the only reason?

So how did you make the decision to have it?

I just didn’t want him to have any hold over me. If I’d have had the baby, he’d have the biggest hold on me ever, so.

Also I was what you’d call ‘quite old’,

Well, when it came down to it and I realised the sort of man that I’d got pregnant with and all the issues that were involved with that, I had

no choice. Pregnancy was never supposed to be an issue because we were safe all of the time, I didn’t think it would happen. Put it this way, the difference between how elated I felt when I found out I was pregnant with you, and how I felt when I found out I’d got pregnant to him, that alone was enough to know I couldn’t have this child.

Did you feel that you had to be secretive that you had one? Did you tell nanny or grandad?

I told nanny straight away Before you had it or after?

Before, she came with me. I told her literally from the word go, and

she supported me and agreed.

I suppose nanny was quite traditional in her views/and mannerisms, like we never really swore around her or anything, how did she take it?

She was really good about it. Agreed it’s what I should do, agreed that where I was in my life I shouldn’t be bringing another child into the world, and she was all for it. Surprisingly.

How do you feel about abortion being illegal elsewhere?

I think it’s absolutely disgusting.

Everyone should be pro-choice, and now I’ve been through it I truly understand how important it is to be that way. Sometimes these things

happen that are out of your control, and what about if you’re raped? What about if it is an accident when you have been careful? I just can’t fathom about it happening to someone who’s been raped. Why should you have to bring up a child and look into that child’s eyes and be reminded of what happened to you, every day for the rest of your life?

The fact that choice has been taken away for so many people is revolting.

If you were speaking to someone who was dead against abortion, what’s

something you’d tell them to get them to see from your perspective?

That if I’d have had my baby, it would’ve been brought into a personal world of violence. Is that really what they’d prefer?

Then what if they argued back about adoption?

Well, just speaking from personal experience, I was adopted and I wouldn’t want to put another kid through that.

And also I feel like that man wouldn’t have been good to you when you were pregnant, even if you did decide to keep it there’s a strong chance something could’ve happened to it in utero anyway if he was abusive to you.

That did happen, he hit me in the stomach when I was pregnant.

How long were you pregnant for?

14 weeks.

(Inside I was processing the fact that some abusive arsehole had hit my mum at all, let alone when she was pregnant, but didn’t know how to make it beneficial to the interview so asked my next question) How would you feel if I got an abortion?

I’d completely understand, 100%.

I don’t fully understand the process of getting one. What did you do?

You go to the doctors first, then you get referred to the hospital.

Then you go to the hospital for an appointment, and they do an ultrasound, check the dates of the conception etc and then say “do you want counselling?”

For free? Would it be immediate or put on a waiting list?

Free, yeah. It would be immediate, the counselling is for “do you really want to do this? etc.”

Oh, so before. I thought you meant after, to deal with potential guilt or something. Do they ask you how it happened, like pry into how you ended up in those circumstancesAre you pregnant?

No I’m not, I’m seriously not! I’m just trying to understand the process.

So you said the hardest part of having an abortion was the shame, what do you mean?

Yeah the shame, because I know that it can be really looked down upon, and that you can be considered all sorts of things - like loose or whatever, it’s just a “shameful” thing to do.

Ultimately the biggest thing about it for me was the shame and that’s what needs to be changed. Having an abortion, and access to one, isn’t shameful, it’s a necessity.

How Fatphobia Impacts My Reproductive Healthcare

By Ashleigh Tribble. Illustration by Abril Carissimo Ashleigh Tribble is a sex-positive seen as consequential of an “unhealthy activist and inf luencer based in lifestyle”, they have been diagnosed as Brooklyn “obesity” and even at the forefront of an “epidemic”, we’re still denied health When I talk about my experiences insurance and access to dignified and with fatphobia, I find that people respectful healthcare. A usual trip are still confused about the full to the gynaecologist for those with extent of how much of my life it vaginas can be stressful enough. But affects. We are just now listening the judgement that fat women usually to how the fashion industry loves face when it comes to our sexuality to pretend that people larger than and sex lives plays a role as well. Since a size 18 don’t exist, so with the fat women are not seen as “desirable” current conversations surrounding or conventionally attractive, we are “body positivity” and “sex assumed to not have active or even positivity”, I don’t understand the fulfilling sexual relationships; the continued cognitive dissonance trope of the “desperate fat girl” towards fat women actually continues to perpetuate the lack of having sex and needing access to sexual autonomy projected onto us. reproductive healthcare as well.

What I’ve found ever since I started first having sex at 18 was that this trope Another issue that we deal with also extended to my gynaecological when it comes to fatphobia is how visits as well. Before I even started it affects our access to healthcare having sex, my mother, my babysitter through inherent bias against and many others thought that because larger bodies in the medical I was upset about not being desirable, I industry. Since our bodies are still would be desperate enough to not only

have sex with anyone who “showed me attention”, but that I would allow that desperation to talk me out of protecting myself; this same sentiment has been communicated to me by the many gynaecologists I’ve visited over the course of my adult sexual life so far.

denied healthcare, I have to deal with people shaming me for not being on birth control because it is still assumed that I’m going to make the mistake of desperation and become yet another statistic.

I’ve even been rushed through a birth control consultation before and had to request to speak The turning point for me was when to the doctor again because I I was denied birth control by the had questions about the weight last gynaecologist I had before I requirement for the pill I was moved away from Denton, TX. I was given, as studies have shown that seeking it out because my cycle was a lot of birth control pills have very heavy and debilitating, and at a weight limit for effective the beginning of the protection from pregnancy. appointment, the Although I’ve never had “ “Si nce f nurse asked me a straightforward at as “de about the nature conversation sirab women ar le” or e not of my visit. She about sex from se conve attrac ntion en an adult, I’ve t i v disappeared for e a , lly as we active sumed to n are a little bit and done pretty well ot ha sexua v e then returned in navigating what l rela tions hips” to the room to let I’ve wanted for me ” me know that my and my sexuality. doctor wasn’t going to talk Through sharing to me about birth control these experiences, I’ve because - and I quote - he been able to glean that what I’ve “does not believe in birth control”. gone through is unique, although This was a shock to me, even though still not thought about, as my the office was covered in crucifixes experience doesn’t fit into the and paintings of Jesus. dominant narrative: “mammies” aren’t supposed to be sexual. But The more sex positive spaces I that does not mean that these frequent, the more I learn about experiences are less valid, and the lack of consideration for those when fatphobia and misogynoir sharing an intersectional experience continue to intersect, it denies when dealing with sexual healthcare us the power to feel like we can providers. On the flipside of being speak up and take control of our

reproductive healthcare experiences and have access to the information we need to be able to take care of ourselves. When these providers can’t look past their own internal biases towards fat black women - who come from a community that already doesn’t trust the medical industry for reasons such as being involuntarily experimented on and sacrificed for the advancement of modern medicine, forcefully sterilised, denied bedside manner, and subjected to prolonged pain during medical visits - it causes misdiagnosis, misinformation and can be harmful to the patient.

I currently have a gynaecologist who not only listens to me, but is respectful of my concerns and upfront with information that I need. Being on top of my reproductive health is very important to me, as I am at an age where I am thinking about the possibility of having children, but also want to be in control of my reproductive future.

I have a lot of things I want to accomplish and while motherhood is one, it’s not a high priority for me now. As someone who is sexually active, making sure that I am on top of testing is important to me as well, so that I can continue to protect myself and my partners. Feeling empowered enough to share what I can, to create the change that is needed in conversations about reproductive rights and healthcare access, is something I’ve been doing since I was an officer for the Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance on campus at the University of North Texas. I hope this will continue to help others push for more inclusivity and intersectionality within this shared reality.

Mila Gonzalez

Turn your page 45 ° to the left

1865 Modern day gynecology is based on experiments without anesthesia on enslaved Black people. Lucy, Anarcha, and Betsey are three known enslaved women subjected to gynecological experiments to treat fistulas.

1920s,

Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood and advocate for birth control, aligned her work with eugenicists as a method to control and reduce the reproduction of select groups of people.

1930s-70s

During this time period, approximately one-third of Puerto Rican women were sterilised, many without being fully informed by their doctors.

1950s-70s

As Black Nationalists sensationlised abortion as a form of Black genocide, Black women resorted to illegal abortion methods.

1955

Low income Puerto Rican women who wanted to avoid pregnancy and forced sterilization, took the first birth control pill, Enovid, without being informed that they were participating in a clinical trial. Three women died during the trials.

1966

Dorothy Brown, first Black female elect to the Tennessee State Legislature, advocates for and proposes a bill to expand legalized abortion.

1619

1800s

Black people utilized birth control methods, abortion, and sometimes resorted to infanticide as ways to resist continuing the cycle of enslavement.

1800s

Slave breeding practices systematically forced reproduction of enslaved people through forced and coerced sexual relationships, forced pregnancies, and tying freedom to number of births. The goal was to increase the number of enslaved people without the cost of purchase.

The first enslaved Africans are brought to Jamestown Colony. This begins the human chattel enslavement in the United States where Africans were dehumanised, denied political, social, economic, and body agency, and exploited for physical, emotional, sexual, and creative labour.

Pro-life & Pro-choice groups have both used the black body to further their agendas. Black cis-women, trans-women, and non-binary people continue to remind us of all the reasons to be pro-choice, inclusive of the complex history, and the ways the movement still lacks an intersectional framework. This timeline is not exhaustive, but attempts to begin telling our full story of why being pro-choice is a part of Black Liberation.

B.C. (before colonization) We honor and recognize the known and unknown reproductive health practices that existed (& persist today) before colonization and enslavement. = power = disempower

“Black liberation is not measured in numbers of Black births; it is measured by thriving, autonomous Black lives.” - Yamani Hernandez

2018

Studies show that in the US Black women are 2 to 6 times more likely to die from complications of pregnancy than white women.

2000s-

Turn your page 45 ° to the left

As a people, we have been forced to have children, coerced into not having children, and subjected to physical, emotional, and psychological violence.

This timeline reminds us that despite being disempowered we’ve always found ways to resist and reclaim our power. Being Black and Prochoice is about fighting for the right to have agency over our bodies, our lives, and our future.

By; Dalychia Saah & Rafaella Fiallo Co-Founders of Afrosexology

1974 Elaine Brown becomes chair of the Black Panther Party with a platform for reproductive rights for Black women

1989

1994

Children Requiring a Caring Kommunity (CRACK), now Project Prevention, compensates drug addicted people for agreeing to long-term birth control, including sterilisation.

1997

SisterSong coined the term “reproductive justice”. They recognised that the mainstream women’s rights movements did not consider issues like sterilization abuse, forced and coerced promotion of LARCs (long-acting reversible contraceptives), high maternal mortality, difficulty accessing birth support choices, unsafe drinking water in family homes, police brutality, and parents being torn from children through racially biased immigration and incarceration practices. Reproductive Justice is the human right to maintain personal bodily autonomy, have children, not have children, and parent the children we have in safe and sustainable communities.

“We Remember: African American Women are for Reproductive Freedom” was published. This was a public statement advocating for equal access to abortion/right to choose. Notable names who signed included Shirley Chisholm, Maxine Waters, Byllye Avery, and Dorothy Height.

GLOSSARY C-section or cesarean section The use of surgery to deliver a baby, necessary when a vaginal birth would put the baby or person delivering at risk.

Medical abortion An abortion induced by taking two different medications. It is the safest treatment option for pregnancies between 6 days and 9 weeks.

Doula Someone without formal medical training who provides holistic support and guidance during the reproductive cycle.

Postpartum The period following childbirth.

Fatphobia Prejudice towards fat people based on their weight.

Fibroids A benign tumour that develops on the wall of the uterus.

Heartbeat bill A form of anti-abortion legislation that renders abortions illegal as soon as a foetal heartbeat can be detected.

Intersectionality The ways in which interconnected nature of social categories like race, gender and sexuality apply to an individual, and the recognition that they create overlapping means of discrimination.

Pro-choice The argument used to support the decision of people with uteruses when seeking reproductive healthcare like abortion.

Pro-life The, often religious and conservative, argument used to oppose abortion and euthanasia.

Reproductive justice A term combining ‘reproductive rights’ and ‘social justice’ which aims to combat the white social framework of the reproductive rights movement. It focuses on abortion access rather than abortion rights, as the simple right to abortion is nothing when people of colour and people from lowincome backgrounds face barriers to accessing abortion.

Roe vs Wade A 1973 Supreme Court ruling in the USA that legalised abortion by protecting a person with a uterus’ right to choose to have an abortion.

Stormont Parliament Buildings, often referred to as Stormont because it is located in Stormont in Belfast, is the seat of the Northern Ireland Assembly, which is the devolved legislature for Northern Ireland.

Surgical abortion The use of surgery to remove a foetus and placenta from the uterus. There are two types of surgical abortion; vacuum aspiration, which removes the pregnancy by gentle suction and can be done up to 15 weeks; and dilation and evacuation, done between 15 and 24 weeks, which uses forceps to remove the foetus.

Transgender Used to describe someone who’s gender identity does not correspond with the gender that they were assigned at birth.

Womens March on Washington A worldwide protest that took place for the first time on the day after Donald Trump’s inauguration in 2017 to raise awareness of the ways in which marginalised people are still suffering around the world.

1861 Offenses Against The Persons Act An Act of Parliament of Great Britain and Ireland, specific clauses of which make seeking a miscarriage, or helping someone to get one, an offense punishable by life imprisonment. This still informs the law on abortion in Northern Ireland.

RESOURCES Services: UK

or NHS 24 in Scotland by dialling 08454 242424. Both open 24/7.

National Sexual Health helpline: 0300 NHS advice: https://www.nhs.uk/ 123 7123, open 9am-8pm Monday conditions/abortion/ to Friday, 11am-4pm Saturday and Sunday.

Marie Stopes 24hr confidential advice line: 0345 300 8090. Clinics all over NHS Sexual Health advisory website: the UK. https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexualhealth/where-can-i-get-sexual-healthBPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory advice-now/. Good collection of Service). Advice line: 03457 30 40 30. resources + specific advise on where to Find your closest clinic: https://www. find the help you need. bpas.org/contact-us/find-a-clinic/ NHS - Worth Talking About helpline: NUPAS (National Unplanned 0300 123 2930. Information and advice Pregnancy Advisory Service). UK- helpline for under-18s. Lines open based advice line: 0333 004 6666.

Monday - Friday 2pm-8pm, weekends 2pm-4pm.

Republic of Ireland advice line: 01 874 0097. They also offer a live chat Beyond The Streets: https:// service on their website: https:// beyondthestreets.org.uk/.

Working www.nupas.co.uk/contact-us/ with women facing exploitation on Brook: https://www.brook.org. uk/. Sexual health and wellbeing services for under 25s. 24/7 online question service: https://www.brook. org.uk/our-ser vices/ask-brook-aquestion-24-7

the streets. Message line: 0800 133 7870 - leave message, name and mobile number for a callback.

Getting It On: https://www.gettingiton. org.uk/useful-contacts.

Information and advice for 13-19 year olds on sexual health, mental health and substance For medical advice in England and abuse.

Wales, call NHS 111 by dialling 111,

Sexual Health Information Scotland: 24hr Domestic and 0800 22 44 88 Helpline. Contact on 0808 802 1414, Rape Crisis - England and Wales: 0808 dsahelpline.org or 802 9999. Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 dsahelpline.org.

Sexual Abuse the helpline email help@ visit https://

Terrence Higgins Trust: HIV and sexual Nexus NI: https://nexusni.org/. health charity. Direct line open 10am- Offers secure counselling and 8pm Monday to Friday: 0808 802 1221 support for survivors of sexual assault, violence and rape.

Northern Ireland The Rainbow Project: working Marie Stopes advice on travelling from to offer mental and sexual health Northern Ireland for an abortion in support for LGBTQIA+ people the UK: https://www.mariestopes.org. living in Northern Ireland, as well uk/abortion-services/travelling-from- as support for their families as well. ireland/. Also have an NI-specific advice Offices in Belfast and Londonderry. line on 0333 234 2184 https://www.rainbow-project.org/ contact Finding GUM clinics in Northern Ireland: https://www.sexualhealthni. The Rowan: sexual assault referral info/gum-clinics-northern-ireland. GUM centre for Northern Ireland. clinics offer confidential STI testing.

Freephone helpline: 0800 389 4424. Calls from a mobile may be Common Youth: https://www. charged. commonyouth.com/. Sexual health clinic in Northern Ireland. Locations in USA Belfast and Coleraine. Services available for those up to 24 years old.

Planned Parenthood: https://www. plannedparenthood.org/.

Info on getting the HPV vaccine in Northern Ireland: https://www.nidirect. It’s OK To Ask Someone: gov.uk/articles/hpv-vaccine-adolescents- confidential, free text service where aged-12-13-years-old trained sex educators respond to your questions about sexual health.

Here NI: https://hereni.org/contact/. Text on 412-424-6827.

Offers support to lesbian and bisexual women in Northern Ireland. 028 9024 Peer Health Exchange: an 9452 organization that trains

college students to give health education in public high schools underprivileged areas lacking in proper health education. https://www. peerhealthexchange.org/join-us Teen PEP: a peer education program operating in New Jersey and North Carolina aimed at reducing teen pregnancy through open education. http://www.teenpep.org/

Charities & Activists UK We Trust Women: https:// wetrustwomen.org.uk/. Campaigning to legalise abortion throughout the UK. Back Off: https://back-off.org/getinvolved/. Campaigning to protect women from anti-abortion protests outside of clinics.

Northern Ireland Alliance for Choice: http://www. alliance4choice.com/donate-2. Belfastbased charity campaigning for abortion in Northern Ireland.

Room 4 Rebellion: https://www. facebook .com/room4rebellion/.

Parties coordinated in London, Belfast and Dublin to raise money for abortion charities working to legalise abortion in Northern Ireland Now for NI: https://nowforni. uk/take-action/. Use the hashtag #NowforNI to add your voice to the campaign.

London-Irish Abortion Rights Campaign: https://www. facebook.com/londonirishARC/.

Campaigning to take the UK government to task for their approach to legalising abortion in Northern Ireland.

Abortion Support Network: https:// www.asn.org.uk/contact-us/. Helps women travel from the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, Gibraltar and the Isle of Man and Malta to travel. You can fund people’s abortions and travel to access an abortion.

USA The Yellowhammer Fund: https:// yellowhammerfund.org/. Provides funding for those seeking abortions at one of Alabama’s three abortion clinics, as well as covering access costs.

KHJN: http://www. kentuckyhealthjusticenetwork.org/.

Kentucky Health Justice Network.

Call their support fund hotline on

1-855-576-4576, or their trans health advocacy hotline on 502-694-2227 Arkansas Abortion Support Network: https:// w w w. a r a b o r t i o n s u p p o r t . o r g / d o n a t e .

Providing safe and legal abortions in Arkansas.

Sister Song: https://sistersong.nationbuilder. com/donate. Based in the Southern states, Sister Song aims to improve policies surrounding reproductive justice for women of colour.

National Abortion Federation: https:// prochoice.org/think-youre-pregnant/find-aprovider/. Provides an extensive list of abortion providers and links to donate to them.

National Network of Abortion Funds: https:// abortionfunds.org/need-abortion/#funds.

Directory of abortion funds throughout the US that you can donate to to help fund someone’s abortion that isn’t covered by their healthcare.

If you DM Flawless Hacks on Twitter and Bird + Stone on Instagram, they will match donations of up to $1000 to the Yellowhammer Fund.

Preterm: https://www.preterm.org/. Providing safe and confidential sexual healthcare in Ohio. Call their toll-free number on 877-7738376.

Women Have Options Ohio: http://www. womenhaveoptions.org/. Ohio’s statewide abortion fund.

Panteha Abareshi, Afrosexology,Eve Archer, Ashley Armitage, Theresa Baxter, Sofie Birkin, Hannah Buckman, Abril Carissimo, Maisie Cousins, Luisa Le Voguer Couyet, Stella Creasy, Mila Gonzalez, Tania Guerra, Harriet Harman, Laura Hodkin, Kai Isaiah Jamal, Maisie Jo, Kenny Ethan Jones, Nuria Just, Handi Kim, The Feminist Library, Courtney Love, Chao Luong, Rene Matic, Rosa Mercuriadis, Bernice Mulenga, Polly Nor, Clio Peppiatt, Signe Pierce, Ranafarba, Ruby Rare, Dame Paula Rego, Honey Ross, Chloe Sheppard, Jacky Sheridan, Tulip Siddiq, Sayang Sounds, Marlena Synchyshyn, Ashleigh Tribble, Tori West, Dream Wife, and Melek Zertal.