ETCHED on the head of a pin
C H A N G E S
The Rival Poet
The column of your book titles, always introducing your latest one, looms over me like Roman architecture. It is longer than the name of an Italian countess, longer than this poem will probably be. Etched on the head of a pin, my own production would leave room for The Lord’s Prayer and many dancing angels. No matter. In my revenge daydream I am the one poised on the marble staircase high above the crowded ballroom. A retainer in livery announces me and the Contessa Maria Teresa Isabella Veronica Multalire Eleganza de Bella Ferrari. You are the one below fidgeting in your rented tux with some local Cindy hanging all over you.
-Billy Collins 2001-2002 US Poet Laureate
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Portage Northern Literary Magazine
Etched on the Head of a Pin Staff Astrid Code, editor in chief Bryana Quick, associate editor Sloan Markin, associate editor and designer Miles Slocum, designer Adivsor Amanda Thorpe
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Dear Reader, This has been a year of change. Our entire lives at school, work, and home have been altered, and in a time of isolation, many students at Northern have found ways to express themselves and the way their world has changed. This year’s edition of Etched on the Head of a Pin explores changes in heart, changes in the world, and changes in nature with poetry, photography, and artworks representing the student body of our school. The contents of the magazine tell the stories and experiences of the individuals that have submitted work to the magazine. However, they do not reflect the opinions of our staff or our school. As always, thank you for reading and we hope you enjoy the 2021 edition of Etched on the Head of a Pin. Sincerely, Astrid Code Editor in Chief
About Etched on the Head of a Pin Art and Literary Magazine Portage Northern High School 1000 Idaho Ave Portage, MI 49024 269-323-5430 litmagpnhs@gmail.com Dr. Amanda Thorpe, adviser Cover photo by Kellie Miles Section divider photos by Miles Slocum
Submission Guidelines We accept submissions from October 1 to February 1 through our online contest submission system, and we welcome all different types of art and writing, including but not limited to: Poems and lyrics (40 lines or less) Short stories and creative non-fiction (1000 words or less) Plays (one scene) Photography Digital art and illustration Photographed traditional works (e.g. jewelry, canvas, etc.) Authors may submit up to 5 entries for review, and all submissions must be appropriate for a scholastic publication. Submission does not guarantee publication: all entries will be considered anonymously via panel discussion, and anyone is welcome to join the literary magazine staff. Authors will be notified as to the outcome of the review by March 1.
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Table of Contents CHANGES in heart 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Abigail Vanderberg Hailey Christopher Ella Harlow Simon Bullmer Adam Brouwer Miles Slocum Makayla Bolton Miles Slocum Madison Merchant Marlow Underwood Isabelle Burnett Hannah Callaway
CHANGES in the world 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32
Adam Brouwer Kellie Miles Astrid Code Alexis Jenkins Isabelle Burnett Miles Slocum Sydney Palmer Kellie Miles Andrea Cosgrove Adam Brouwer Evan Wahmhoff Kellie Miles
CHANGES in nature 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45
Evan Wahmhoff Kellie Miles Emily Macaulay Miles Slocum Evan Wahmhoff Kaia Dolph Astrid Code Miles Slocum Adam Brouwer Kellie Miles About the Artists
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C H A N G E S in heart
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i am not that rainy day in the back of his car the pain soaked in this city’s water mascara wasted the caffeine addiction i am not what he did and i am not his.
-Abigail Vanderberg, 11
Hailey Christopher, 11 Photography
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Your Body, Your Boundaries Poems are hard when It’s about a topic avoided In conversations Because everytime We talk about our bodies Some turn away And others straight up tell you To stop. We skirt around the topics Skirt around lessons about skirt lengths and tea sharing: briefly hear about it In school learn words like safe sex and Consent Hear the definition of rape But tossing out words isn’t learning
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Do we really understand What consent is Or is it just another vocab word? Will we remember that our bodies Are ours We’re not too young to learn about rape When dress codes and classmates are Already sexualizing our bodies Why should We girls have to worry about what we are wearing How come we can’t wear what we want to wear Boys are taught that they can wear whatever they want They can avoid trouble because “Boys will be boys” Why can’t boys just keep their hands to themselves As toddlers We were all taught that
Simon Bullmer, 11 Acrylic on canvas
Why can’t they take no for an answer No means no Girls shouldn’t be taught to live in fear We should be able to walk alone We shouldn’t have to check under our cars We shouldn’t have to live with society telling us To cover-up Why can’t we all just learn what consent is? This isn’t just adults that need to learn This needs to be taught to high schoolers Middle schoolers Even Elementary schoolers This is the message that needs to be spread So that no matter who you are You are taught that Your body is yours
All we are asking for is To be heard And believed Don’t forget what you learned as a toddler Keep your hands to yourself And No means No We’re not too young to learn about rape Or to speak out, so listen as we create our own Definitions and boundaries About our bodies. -Ella Harlow, 8
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The Places That You’re Gone Who knew the places we’ve been would become holy ground? Our favorite restaurants where you’d always order the same thing The movie theater and row 11 which was your favorite and you would pout when we couldn’t sit there. Those moments where even though we were so small and the sky was so big you would talk about the stars, like you knew each one’s name. Like you owned the sky and the sky loved you for it And how now that you’re gone you still own all these things. That restaurant who’s food tastes like sand without you there How I always sit in row 12 just to make sure that you aren’t in front of me, How the moon reminds me how lonely it’s been. These places were sanctified but without you Desecrated. Deserted. How with the sky which was just as enchanting as you were Just a constant reminder of how you’re no longer here I keep my curitants closed, because the moon is too bright When you have tears in your eyes. -Adam Brouwer, 11
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Miles Slocum, 11 Photography
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10 things they don’t tell you will happen when you get the call 1. Your best friend will have to hold you up because you can’t seem to control the body that you have lived in for so many years; you can’t regulate your breathing, sit up straight, or stand up or walk. You look drunk and wish that was your reality over this 2. Speaking is hard so you will be silent; you will sit there and weep quietly so you can figure it out but you won’t figure it out. You will be blacked out pretty much, numb and quiet 3. Your mind goes blank: there will be no thoughts yet so many that it feels like a malfunction, a glitch in the simulation 4. Because you mind is blank it doesn’t feel real but it will over and over every time you have to talk about it, like a stab to the heart each time 5. People who don’t even like you and can’t even spell your name right will check on you, and you appreciate the gesture but you feel like a charity case and even though people say your ok it feels weird because your pride and ego are too big to just depend on people even at your lowest 6. No matter how hard you try you won’t sleep, and in the small moment where you get some sense of rest the dreams will feel like nightmares and you wake up to the new nightmare you’re living 7. You will feel like you have to relearn how to do everything without this person. They were everything and now their gone 8. You won’t tell people, you will continue conversations without that little bit of information because you don’t want to cry and you don’t want the look, because that kills you on the inside so you keep that little secret to the ones that need to know, the rest will find out when they find out 9. Your family will come as soon as possible to support you, but it doesn’t feel right because someone’s missing. Nothing can fix that so you will just run away from that whole situation because it’s almost worse 10. Instead of being the strong person you have worked hard for years to prove that you are, it will all be wiped away, and people will view you as this tiny frail child in need in help and protection that you never needed before -Makayla Bolton, 12
Miles Slocum, 11 Photography
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Because even now, I look for your face in a crowd of strangers Knowing you’d just be one of them.
-Madison Merchant, 12
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Marlow Underwood, 12 Digital Art
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Even as you die I can’t help but love you As your body fails you and your soul leaves me behind I can’t fault you Even as your last rattling breath reaches your lips I didn’t know death could look so beautiful -Isabelle Burnett, 12
Hannah Callaway, 12 Pen on Paper
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C H A N G E S in the world
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A Letter to The Future Promisers A path laid bare but with lack of reason to cross it. They tell you this is the way. do these things. “Write these essays. You’ll get a good job, college will be the best experience of your life!” Maybe I don’t want to peak in college I don’t want a normal life, even if you tell me “the only way to do this is our way then I still don’t want it. This is MY life and you can’t tell me how to live it. -Adam Brouwer, 11
Kellie Miles, 12 Photography
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Quarantine: Day 27 although some say it feels like a lifetime i have been well aware of every minute. the way everything is either on or off done or late open or closed. i can’t take these fluorescents and neon searing into my eyes led screens and video calls with the distorted audio and i just need some natural light some natural life in this unending night. -Astrid Code, 11
Alexis Jenkins, 10 Acrylic on Canvas
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Things I’d Tell my Fresh Baby-Faced 2020 Self -Grief is different for everyone -A lack of visible emotion isn’t a lack of empathy -Self care isn’t just physically taking care of your body -Trauma isn’t obvious all the time -Reflection on yourself is just as important as reflecting on others -Just because you think it isn’t possible doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try -No one is perfect, and if they are, they re a robot - Patience may be a virtue but it’s okay to be upset sometimes -You don’t have to know everything at all times -It’s okay to cry -It doesn’t matter what people think about you, but it will still hurt -Healing from scars that aren’t visible takes time and patience -Not everyone is out to hurt you -March won’t last forever -Past, present, and future you have to work together not against one another -Isabelle Burnett, 12
Miles Slocum, 11 Photography
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It’s crazy how a minute turns to an hour / gazing into the abyss of an iPhone / she incessantly texts her peers / deep-diving into the abyss of safari and the insight of chrome / she is captivated with the likes, follows, and shares / they take over her mind, spoiling her self image as she plunges deeper into the screen / however, on clear afternoons when the sun is hot / the wind fresh and flying through her hair as the car speeds / she forgets about her phone and the ridiculous people behind it / she has a moment of certainty, pure euphoria / the truest freedom. -Sydney Palmer, 12
Kellie Miles, 12 Photography
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Lazy Days: 4 Ways i. feelings of regret what could I have done? ii. rejuvenation getting ready for the next beautiful day iii. shameful appropriating to the social construct of productivity iv. relaxing allowing yourself to reflect and heal -Andrea Cosgrove, 12
Adam Brouwer, 11 Photography
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Burnt Out or shall I dance like the flickering of a long forgotten candle slowly burning out -Evan Wahmhoff, 12
Kellie Miles, 12 Photography
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C H A N G E S in nature
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rising from the dirt the sprout, full of life emerges ready to take on the world the sprout feels the warmth of the sun on it’s smooth, subtle leaves helping it growing a set of dappled, yellow petals very slowly, the sprout feels the wind against it’s petals, cool and unforgiving the winds of change and as it’s petals slowly drop to the ground its at peace knowing that the cycle will continue -Evan Wahmhoff, 12
Hailey Christopher, 11 Photography
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Though mankind may prove himself intellectually superior to all other creatures / his concept of right and wrong has burdened him with moral inferiority / nothing an animal does is wrong / because an animal knows no right / a non-human cannot possibly act inhumane / animals do not start wars / animals do not defy nature / animals do not play God / we are the only species on this earth who can choose to kill. Emily Macaulay, 10
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-Miles Slocum, 11
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Just a Pencil Mark in just the blink of an eye we’ll just be a memory a pencil mark in the notebook of life -Evan Wahmhoff, 12
Kaia Dolph, 12 Arcylic and graphite
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what if the constellations made a sunset as they fell? would we see the beauty in the universe? would we see the beauty in the grays and blacks and whites? would we stay up all night and dance in the street to watch nature’s show? i’d like to think we could all hold hands under the moonbeams and laugh at our shadows but we never remember that we are stuck with this one world drifting apart with the harsh light of day - Astrid Code, 11
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Miles Slocum, 11 Photography
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I’m made of the things that came before me. I’m made of the people who taught me what I know. I’m made of the carbon that unites us all. I’m made of the mornings when it’s just me and my work. I’m made of the nights where the party doesn’t end. I’m made of the time I spent with myself. I’m made of all of this and so much more. I’m composed of the greatest parts of my experience. I’m built from the foundations of my failures. I’m constructed of the ingredients of success. I’m assembled from the leftovers of my sins. I’m forged from the people who said that I couldn’t. And I’m still building for those who said I could. I’m so selfish and so to hell with it. I’m made of myself and I hope that’s okay. -Adam Brouwer, 11
Kellie Miles, 12 Photography
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About the Artists Abigail Vanderberg I’m not really sure how I see myself as an artist or an author. When I write I am just myself. I try to find myself in my writing. When you find out you have uncommon experiences, you tend to share them. Sharing parts of my being makes me passionate about writing.
Adam Brouwer I see myself as a pretty down to earth person, I write about what I see and think about as an artist as a result. I play guitar and write music regularly, I had an active love life before covid which inspired this poem in particular. I think we can relate to missing someone and not having them in our lives anymore. My passion comes from somewhere inside that I can’t really place. Whether it’s music or poetry, writing or even exercise I have this mental drive they tells me I can do more and I can work harder.
Alexis Jenkins How I see myself as an artist would be painting shapes and using colorful colors to make it abstract. By me painting it helps me through the tough times I am going through. Something that made me want to paint was seeing others do it and me wanting to try it. I tried it and ended up loving it. It is a very fun activity to get into and it helps with anxiety and other things.
Ella Harlow I see myself as someone who loves writing poetry. I just write what I think and make changes later. I often write about social issues and problems in our society. Social issues are what I generally write about. I’m very passionate about writing and presenting them in different forms than just papers.
Evan Wahmhoff Honestly, I don’t see myself as some special art guru or “quirky art guy”, I feel like I’m just some average guy who happens to write poetry. My art is nothing special, there are thousands of kids doing the same thing, but I’m glad to be able to share mine with you all. My writing has been a fairly therapeutic thing for me, and has been a way for me to express my thoughts and feelings.
Hailey Christopher I always see myself through the eyes of my lens as an artist for photography. I only take what I see that’s made for capturing. I’ve always been told I had an eye for capturing beauty in its moments. When I see the sunset I see nature giving its last yawn before it falls asleep. But maybe to others it’s just another regular sunset. As they always say... beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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Isabelle Burnett As an artist/author I feel like I’m still a beginner. I know I have a lot of growth waiting for me in the future but I’m very happy with where I am now. I wouldn’t say I’m super passionate about writing or art per say, but I really enjoy making something with my own hands, something that makes me happy. With writing especially, I’m making it for me, not anyone else, although it is cool to see other people enjoy my work too. I love to write and create as much as I am able.
Kaia Dolph I see myself as an artist who creates work based on real life connections. A lot of my work focuses on photo realism with a mix of abstraction. But my pieces are usually inspired by a person or concept that is important to me like the over consumption of technology or the portrait of a musician that I love. The intertwining of my art and a personal connection makes my art very meaningful and helps me continue to find ideas that inspire me to create. The endless opportunities make me passionate about my art. Finding different techniques, styles, mediums, concepts, and canvases constantly creates different ways that I can express myself or just have fun.
Kellie Miles I see myself as just another artist among all the other artists throughout the world. What made me passionate about my photography is that it was an escape from life when I needed it. Also, it’s amazing that you can capture any moment in a photo and cherish it forever.
Marlow Underwood Who I am as a person is tied directly to who I am as an artist. There is a piece of me in everything I create, and I cannot entirely separate my work from myself. I could pile many labels onto myself as an artist, but I choose to primarily describe myself as a transgender multimedia artist because I believe that my experiences as a transgender individual are among the most important in my work. I’m passionate about art because it’s the best way for me to express myself. I am not good at verbal communication and expression, and I find it easiest to use my art to show how I feel. Even if others aren’t always able to catch on to what I am attempting to visualize and express, it helps me to better understand myself.
Miles Slocum I see myself as a photographer. What makes me passionate about my photography is the satisfying feeling of being able to look at a stunning photo and know that I was the one that took it.
Simon Bullmer I see myself as an artist simply through the work that I create, each time I practice, write, or pick up a paintbrush. My mother and sibling were a big inspiration initially. My mother makes large-scale paintings and writes poetry professionally, and my sibling designs tattoos and characters, so both of their work inspires me. Really, once I started making artwork the “passion” grew by itself as I saw my skill and the quality of my art increase with time.
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