Portland Monthly Magazine June 1987

HereontheMaine coastareprobablythe only summerplaces everbuilttowithstand theravagesoftime, fashionandheavy navalgunfire.

Onthe‘civilian’halfofGreat DiamondIsland,oraltraditionstill rememberswithaffectionoldFort McKinley,thecoastaldefensesbuilt inthe1890’stoguardPortland 1larbor.

Thereweretheoldfashioned, genteelroutinesofgarrisonlife.The sabres,thebrass,thedressparades, thesilksandparasolsoftheofficers’ wives.

ThentherewasFortMcKinley itself,agemofl$>thcentury’ residentialarchitecture.Tire Governmenthadsparednoexpense toensurethattheofficersand enlistedmenwatchedfortheenemy incomfort.

Buttheenemynevercame.

134 luxury townhouses on the moststrategicsiteontheMaine coast.

TurningFortMcKinleytoMcKinley Estatesmeantblendingthebestof the20thcenturywiththebestofthe 19th.Carefully.

Wepreservedthe12"brickwalls withtheirsolidgranitefoundations, oncethoughttobeaperfectly‘cost effective'constructiontechnique. Andtheslatertxifsandthe seeminglyendlesstopandbottom porchessupportedbyclassicRoman columns.

Inside,ttxi,the10'ceilings, elegantstaircasesandother irreplaceabledetailing.

Andmostparticularly,the buildings'originallines,which neverthelesspermittedustogive mosttownhousestwolevels,three bedrooms,twofullbathrooms,plus suchmtxlemamenitiesas microwavesandJacuzzibaths.(And inmanyofthehomes,theadded charmofawoodstove.)

193privateacres.Nohorseless carriages.

TheGovernmentplannedwell.

Everythingissocentralizedthat thereisnoneedforautomobiles. 'Hiisleavesroomfortheimportant thingslikeopenspaces,views,trees, walkingpaths,threeprivatebeaches, heatedpcxil,evenaballfieldforyour kids.Andaboveall,theunparalleled peacefulnessofanislandlifestyle. McKinleyEstates.Whatthe Governmentacquiredonthe groundsofnationalsecurity,youcan nowacquireonthegroundsof personalsanity.Forprices,fkxrr plansandsitemap,sendforourfree informationpackage.

McKinleyEstatesonGreatDiamondIslandisjust 15minutesawaybyferryfromPortland. acclaimedasoneofAmerica’smostliveablecities fiostonisjust100milestothesouth Shownbelowistheprotectedanchorageof Diamond Cote.

WE HEAR YOUNEED TOKEEP THEBALL ROLLING.

What’sthedifferencebetweenproperty nobodyseemstowantandpropertysohot, itattractsbuyersindroves?

Inaword,marketing.

Inanother,persistence.

Bothexactlywhatapowerbrokerlike TheBoulosCompanyisknownfor.

Yousee,astheleadingcommercial broker/developerinallSouthernMaine, we’vebuiltsolidrelationshipsoverthepast 12years.Withbankerswhocanhelpyou structurecreativefinancingpackages.With repeatbuyers&sellers.Withsomeofthe newestcompaniesinNewEngland—and someofthelargest.

Allofwhichgivesusmoreconnections andmoreopportunitiestomakeyourbest matches.Plus,moremomentumtocloseyour bestdeals.Intheshortestofallpossibletime.

Goodreasontocall(207)772-1333and talktousfirst. Becausewedon’tdroptheball.

_ FEATURES

12Portland’sFunnyBusiness: AndreaMartin,MissDeering High1965. ByFritziCohen.

20Portland’sFunnyBusiness: ComedyNightsAtRaoul’s AndTheRustic. ByJohnBidwell.

26 On The Waterfront: Portland “Could’veBeenAContender.” ByM.ReedBergstein.

_ DEPARTMENTS_

4 Letter From The Editor.

5 On The Town: Performing Arts And EntertainmentListings. ByMichaelHughes. New:BrightLights,BigCity ByCharlieBrown. VideoReviews. ByHenryPaper.

9 Letters.

24 In The Arts This Month.

29 Cartoon By George Hughes.

33RealEstate:God’sLittle Acre—‘ParkingCondos.’

36 Liquid Assets: Shock Of The New. ByDavidSwartzentruber.

41 Restaurant Review: Thistles. ByDennisGilbert.

42Fiction:Sis. ByFrederickBarthelme.

51ExclusiveMaineProperties.

50Flash,Personals,Classifieds.

Drawings By Michael Moore and Pamela A. Moulton.

CoverPhoto:“AndreaMartin,"copyright© 1987byDavidStreet,Toronto.

PORTLAND MONTHLY

PublisherNancyI).Sargent

SeniorEditorColinSargent

Production Manager Margarete C. Schnauck

Advertising Director Bobbi L. Goodman

DirectorofMarketingLindaE.Leavitt

ArtDirectorJohnBidwell

AdvertisingValerieTucker

CindiBaxter

HildaIaylor

CirculationJohnBidwell

Composition L&L Kern Typesetting

Copy Editor Shelby Cooper

Pictures Rhonda Farnham

M.C.Schnauck

Bookkeeping Johanna Hannaburgh

ContributingEditors

MichaelHughes

MarciaFeller

RichardBennett

Juns Ubans

M.ReedBergstein

KendallMerriam

FrilziCohen

Henry Paper

DavidSwartzentruber

Dan Domench

Anthony Pearson

DennisGilbert

George Hughes

“Sis”appearsIron)CHROMAbyFrederickBarthelme. Copyright©1987byFrederickBarthelme.Reprintedby permissionofSimonandSchuster.

AdvertisingOffice:154MiddleStreet,Portland,ME 04101(207)775-4339.

Subscriptions:IntheU.S.andCanada.$18for1year, $30for2years,$36for3years.

June1987,Vol.2,No.5,copyright1987byPort¬ landMonthly,Inc.Allrightsreserved.Application tomailatsecond-classratespendingatPortland, ME 04101. (ISSN: 0887-5340). Opinions ex¬ pressedinarticlesarethoseofauthorsanddonot representeditorialpositionsofPortlandMonthly. Letterstotheeditorarewelcomeandwillbetreated asunconditionallyassignedforpublicationand copyrightpurposesandassubjecttoPortland Monthly'sunrestrictedrighttoeditandcomment editorially.Nothinginthisissuemaybereprintedin wholeorinpartwithoutwrittenpermissionfromthe publishers.Postmaster:Sendaddresschangesto: 154MiddleStrcet,Portland,Maine04101.Return postagemustaccompanyallmanuscriptsandpho¬ tographssubmittediftheyaretobereturned,andno responsibilitycanbeassumedforunsolicited materials.

PortlandMonthlyispublished10timesannually byPortlandMonthly,Inc.,154MiddleStreet,Port¬ land,ME04101,inFebruary,March,April,May, June,July,September,October,November,and December.

FROM THE EDITOR

OutOfAfrica

home ship the KALAMAZOO, in wa¬ tersofftheshoresofMozambique. Wecarriedlettersandicecreamand sailorsandpressedhamtotheMOOS¬ BRUGGER. Keepyoureyesonthe horizon,andlettheshipcomeupto you.Thatdancingchampagnecork?It soundedlikeinstructionsforboxing SugarRayLeonard.

At2a.m.herwakelookedlikephos¬ phorusbelowthestars.1wasanother personthen,inalurid,beautiful,lost worldbetweenflightquartersandnightly readingsofWilliamBlake.

InthesparklingwatersofPortland Harborrestsahugebluerectangle. Andcradledlikeamonsterbaby insidethebluerectangleisaSpruanceclassdestroyer.Withsleeklines,bris¬ tlesofguidedmissiles,asnappyyoung complementofofficersandsailors,and BathIronWorksofficialsclimbingall overher,thewarshiphasafunnylung¬ fish of a name, the U.S.S. MOOS¬ BRUGGER.

Seven yearslater,thatnamestill cracksmeup!

Nowitisenoughofawonderfulsur¬ prisethatPortlandhasbeenableto complicateitsskylinerecentlywitha beautifulhunkoftechnologylikethe MOOSBRUGGER. To tell the truth, 1swellwithpridewhenIthinkofBath IronWorkscominghere.Real,perspir¬ ingindustrylikeBIWcouldactually rescuePortlandfromitsdependenceon achocolate-chipeconomy!

But the MOOSBRUGGER knocks meoutwithasortofyo-yomoonglow triple-take:IntheIndianOcean(sum¬ mer,1980,duringtheIrancrisis),in unearthlyturquoisewatersbelowthe equator,26-year-oldLieutenantJunior GradeColinSargent,USN,flewhun¬ dredsofhelicoptersortiestothisvery same MOOSBRUGGER. My helicop¬ copterwasan84-foot,11-inchBoeing CH-46D — a great gray Navy gras¬ shopperwithjetengines—andmy

IfeltasifI’dfallenofftheflatsurface oftheglobe.Whatpossibleusecould the MOOSBRUGGER be to me in the future?Iwondered,feelingsorryfor myselfandhoveringabsentlybesidethe ship’shypnoticallyswingingsuperstruc¬ ture.We’vebeenouthereforseven months!ButItooknotesanyway,just incaseIeverranintotheineluctable MOOSBRUGGER again. By some incrediblecoincidence,youunderstand.

TheU.S.Moosbrugger,DDG980,inPort¬ land’sBathIronWorksdrydock.

ON THE TOWN

Deadlineforlistingsissixweeksinadvanceofpublication date.PleasesendmaterialstoMichaelHughes,Listings Editor,PortlandMonthly,154MiddleStreet,Portland, Mame04101.Pleaseincludedate,time,place,contact person,telephonenumber,costandadescriptionofyour event.Ifyouhaveanyquestions,pleasecallPortland Monthlyat775-4339.

JUNE LISTINGS

_Music

BluegrassMusicShowcase,SaturdayandSunday,June 27and28.3homasPointBeach,Brunswick.725-6009. MusicontheMall,thedowntownBrunswickMall,from JunetoAugust.Freeoutdoorfamilyconcertseries.For details,contacttheBrunswickAreaChamberofCom¬ merce.725-8797.

IntownPortlandExchangepresentsitsannualsummerlong Noontime Performance Series. Each Monday throughFridayfromnoonto1:30,IPEpresentsdaily outdoorentertainment,includingallkindsofmusic,mime, storytelling,andjuggling.Formoreinformation,callthe IntownPortlandExchangeat772-6828.

ThePortlandSymphonyOrchestrapresentsaseriesof popularconcertsthroughtheslateinthesummertime. Scheduledperformancesinclude:PopsconcertatBok AmphitheatreinCamden,featuringbaritoneRobertIloneysucker(Friday,July3,7p.m.);PopsconcertatPleasant Mountain,Bridgton,withRobert1loneysucker(Saturday, July4);"IndependencePops”atFortWilliamsPark,Cape Elizabeth,featuringRobertHoneysucker,withtheFirst NewmarketMilitiaprovidingcannonfireforthe"1812 Overture,”andfireworksfollowingtheconcert(Sunday. July5,8pan.,S8/S6);anAll-Gershwinpopsconcertat FortWilliamsPark,CapeElizabeth,withpianistMichael Brazperforming"RhapsodyinBlue”(Friday,July24,8 p.m.,S8/S6);FestivalbytheLake,atCMVII,Auburn, featuringanAll-Gershwinpopsconcert(Saturday,July25, 6:30p.m.);concertatSugarloafUSA,CarrabassettValley (Sunday,August2,2p.m.);andaconcertatFortWilliams Park,CapeElizabeth,withviolinistStephanieChase(Sat¬ urday,August8,8p.m.;S8/S6).Formoreinformationon theSymphony’ssummerschedule,call773-8191.

Dance

The1987BatesDanceFestivalpresentsAnEvening WithDanWagonerandDancers,anopportunityforthe publictomeetandseeperformancevideosofoneofthe

nation’sforemostmoderndanceensembles,returningfor theirfourthseasonasfestivalartists-in-residence.Tuesday, June30,7:30p.m.,OlinArtsCenterconcerthall,Bates College,RussellSt.,Lewiston.Free.Thiseventbeginsa three-weekscheduleofdailyclasses,freeeveningwork¬ shops,andmain-stagedanceperformancesbyfestival faculty(July3andJuly10)andstudents(July17).Fora fullscheduleofeventsandticketinformation,contactthe BatesDanceFestivalat786-6400.

LiveFromStudio1,apresentationofnewworksand worksinprogressfromlocaldancersandchoreographers. PortlandDanceCenterStudio1,Friday,June12,8p.m. $3.IhecenteralsooffersaFreeKids’Afternoonon Saturday,June6at1p.m.773-2562.

Summer Theater

ThePortlandPlayerspresentEvita,thespectacular AndreLloydWebber/TimRiceretellingofthelegendof EvaPeron.Shewasabitactress,mistressandwifeIo Argentina’sdictator,JuanPeron,andasaintlikefigurein whomavariceandbenevolencecombinedIoformoneof themostpowerfulfolkheroinesofmoderntimes.1heshow isessentiallyanoperetta,andthenonstopmusicalis renownedparticularlyfortheelegiac"Don’tCryforMe Argentina.”EvitarunsJune5.6,7,12,and13.Fortickets andinformation,callthePortlandPlayers.420Cottage Road,SouthPortland.BeauJestMovingTheaterisa companydedicatedtocreatingastyleofmovementtheater thatcombinessinging,acting,dance,mime,andsatire. SincetheirdebutattheMirage!healerin1984,theyhave rapidlybecomeoneofNewEngland’smostpopular“new mime”troupes.BeauJestperformsattheIheaterofFan¬ tasyfromFridaytoSunday,June12to14.in;ishowthat featuresaseriesofsketchesthatcovertopicsrangingfrom urbanlivingIosurvivingadolescence.At8onFridayand Saturdayevenings;2p.m.onSunday.Ihe1heaterof Fantasyislocatedat50DanforthSt.inPortland.$7/$5. 775-5957.

ButCanTheySing?isaneveningofmimeanddancewith JackieReiferandJohnSaccone(formerlyofCelebration IheaterEnsemble),andSheilaBelkdleuroftheCascoBay Movers,FridayandSaturday,June26and27,8p.m.,al theTheaterofFantasy,50DanforthSlreet,Portland. S7/S6.775-5957.

AcadiaRepertoryTheater,Somesville,MountDesert Island(8milesfromBarI(arbor).SameTimeNextYear (July3toJuly12);TheMousetrap(July14toJuly26); CyranodeBergerac(July28toAugust9);andThe ComediesonAntonChekhov(August11IoAugust23). TuesdaytoSundayat8:40p.m.244-7260.

BatesFestivalTheater,BatesCollege,Lewiston.The theaterpresentsSerenadingLouie,TheSerpent’sEgg, andCannibalMasque.Formoreinformation,7866077.

Alwaysthefocalpointofanyroom,thisstairis availablein5',6',or8'6”diameters.Impeccably craftedinRedOakorHonduranMahogany. Otherhardwoodsareavailableonacustom basis.Forafreecolorbrochurewrite

York Spiral Stair Dept.PM,No.Vassalboro,ME04962 (207)872-5558

BrunswickMusicTheater,PickardTheater,Bowdotn College,Brunswick.Nowinits29thconsecutiveseasonas theonlyprofessionalresidentstockmusictheaterremaining inthecountry.ThetheaterpresentsTheSoundofMusic (June16toJune28);Camelot(June30IoJuly19);Boys fromSyracuse(July21toAugust2);tentatively,One TouchofVenus(August4toAugust16);andNunsense (August18toAugust30);1uesdaytoSaturdayat8p.m.;

Brittania

Lookforourwashed, allcottonshortsleeve shirtandpin-striped shortsfromour collectionofmen’s clothingbyBrittania.

DOCK^SQUARE

Clothiers

363ForeStreet.PortlandME04101/773-0518

WheninKennebunkport,visitourlocationonDockSquare, andinOgunquit,ourPerkinsCovestore. Specializingincasual,naturalfiberclothingforladies&men.

Wednesday,Friday,andSundaymatineesat2p.m.$10to S16.725-8729.

The Camden Shakespeare Company returns to the CamdenLibraryAmphitheaterthisseasonwithalineupof traditionalandnot-so-traditionaltheater.Formoreinforma¬ tion,call236-6979.

HackmatackPlayhouse,Route9,BeaverDam,Berwick, presentsits16thseason:TheBestLittleWhorehousein Texas(June23to28,andJune30toJuly5);Harvey (July7to11andJuly14to18):OneFlewOverthe Cuckoo’sNest(August4to8andAugust11to15);and Annie(August18to23,August25to30,andSeptember 1to6).8p.m.Themusicalsalsohavean8p.m.Sunday performance.$6to$10.698-1807.

KitchensinkProductions,ofPortsmouth,NewHamp¬ shire,presentsWaitingforGodotatMarketSquareStudio inPortsmouth,fromJune11toJune21.Thisproductionof SamuelBeckett’sdarklycomicwaiting-room-as-lifevision incorporatesenvironmentaltheatricaltechniquesandem¬ bracesboththecomicanddramaticspiritoftheplay.For moreinformation,callKitchensinkat(603)431-6644.

RussellSquareSummerTheater,RussellHall,onthe UniversityofSouthernMaine’sGorhamcampus.LightUp theSky(tentatively—June24toJuly11);LittleShopof Horrors(July15toAugust1);GreaterTuna(July5to August22),MondaytoSaturday,8p.m.,$7to$11.The RussellSquarePlayersalsopresentthreeshowsinareper¬ toryinPortland;AnEveningofOriginalOneActs;An EveningofKurtVonnegut;andStartingNow.Therep¬ ertoryseasonrunsfromlateJulythroughAugust. 780-5483.

SanfordMaineStageCompany,Little1heateratNasson College,Springvale.1hecompanyoffersproductionsfrom June17toAugust30;productiondatesarecurrentlybeing determined.Theshows:TheMiracleWorker,Doonesbury,andGilbertandSullivan’slolanthe.Wednesdayto Saturdayat8p.m.,Sundaymatinee2p.m.$8to$10. 636-2222.

StudioTheateratBath,attheChocolateChurch,804 WashingtonSt..Bath,presentsMoliere’sImaginary Invalid.June12and13,andJune19and20.8p.m. $7/$5.442-8455.

TheTheateratMonmouth,CumstonHall.MainSt.. Route132,Monmouth.Inthetheater’srepertoryseason, theplaysrunconcurrently;adetailedscheduleisavailable bycallingthetheaterat933-2952.Theseasonrunsfrom June27throughAugust;theproductionsandtheirbegin¬ ningdatesare:TheImaginaryInvalid(June27);Othello (July3);MuchAdoAboutNothing(July15);andUncle Vanya(July30).Curtainis8p.m.,withregularmatinees, $6.50to$11.933-2952.

Special Events

TheMaineArtSponsorsAssociationwillholditsannual springconferenceonJune3,4,and5(5p.m.Wednesday to2:30p.m.Friday)attheWhitehallInninCamden.The conferencefeaturesworkshopsforartspresenters,teachers, andartists,aswellasshowcasingopportunitiesforper¬ formers.Artexpertsfromaroundthecountrywillbeon handforround-tablediscussionsandtoserveasworkshop leaders.Forinformation,call622-6838.

St.John’sBazaaroffersrides,games,andfoodforthe entirefamily.June19to21,St.John’sgrounds,37Plea¬ santSt.,Brunswick.725-6893.

Galleries

AbacusHandcraftersGallery.44ExchangeSi.Portland. ContemporaryAmericancraftsandmuseum-qualityjewel¬ ry.Anextendedscheduleoftheshowsforthesummertime includes:ArtGlass:KitKarblerandMichaelDavid-Blake StreetGlass(August10toSeptember20):SoftSculpture: CaryArmstrong-Ellis(August1toAugust31):WallPieces andBoxQuilts:EllenKochansky(August1toSeptemlx*r 15):Jewelry:DavidDevtaDoolan(July15toAugust31): Jewelry:MargaretBarnaby(July25to/Xugust31).Mon¬ daytoWednesday,9:30a.m.to8p.m.;Sunday,noonto5 p.m.772-4880.'

BarridoffGalleries,4CityCenter,Portland.Selectionsby galleryartistsandselected19thand20thcenturyestate paintings.InJunethegallerypresentsAlanBray•recent paintings(openingreceptionJune5.5p.m.to7p.m.); AugustExhibit:JohnGable•“1heAmerica’sCupand OtherWatercolors”(openingreceptionAugust7,5p.m.to 7p.m.).Septemberexhibit:RobertSolotaire•“BobSolotaire’sPortland”(openingreceptionSeptember4,5p.m.to 7p.m.).MondaythroughFriday,10to5;Saturday12to 4.772-5011.

CafeAlways.47MiddleStreet,Portland.Diningand viewinghoursTuesdaythroughSunday.5p.m.to10p.m. ClosedMonday.774-9399.

CongressSquareGallery,594CongressSt,Portland.A changingexhibitofgalleryartists,includingSiriBeckman, Jill1loy,ItowardFussiner,andPhilBarter.Summerexhi¬ bitsincludeSherryMiller:FigureandLandscapeExplora¬ tions(June11toJuly12),withanopeningreceptionslated forThursday,June11,5:30p.m.,andagallerytalk scheduledonSaturdayJuneI3at2p.m.;WendyKindred: RecentOilPaintings(July16toAugust16),withan openingreceptionJuly16at5:30p.m..andagallerytalk onSaturday,July18,2p.m.MondaytoSaturday.10to6. 773-3369.

FrostGullyGallery,25ForestAvenue,Portland.Exhibi¬ tionsofrecentworksbyartistsrepresentedbythegallery. MondaytoFriday,12to6.773-3369.

HitchcockArtDealers.602CongressStreet.Second Floor,Suite204,Portland.ContemporaryMaineart,fea¬ turingWilliamManning,NatashaMyers.EricFlopkins. WendyKindred,JamesLinehan.MarilynBlinkhorn.Sherry Miller,AnnGresmger,andothers.MondaytoSaturday, 10a.m.to6p.m.(until9p.m.onThursdays),Sunday, noonIo5p.m.774-8919.

HobeSoundGalleriesNorth.1MilkStreet.Portland. GaryBuchandCelesteRoberge:NewWorks(July15to August15),withanopeningreceptiononWednesday,July 15,5to7p.m.;andBernardLanglais:/XbstractWood Reliefs(August19toSeptember19),withanopening receptiononWednesday,August19,5p.m.to7p.m. IuesdaytoSaturday,10:30p.m.to5:30p.m.,773-2755.

MainePottersMarket,9MoultonStreet,Portland. Stoneware,porcelain,andearthenwareby14Maine craftsmen.MondaythroughSaturday,10:30p.m.to5:30 p.m.774-1633.

MapleHillGallery.367ForeStreet,Portland:andPer¬ kinsCove,Ogunquit.SummereventsatMapleHillinclude: JewelryInvitational(July1toSeptember7),featuringthe workofBetsyFuller(onviewfromJuly8IoAugust1),Pal Flynn,D.X.Ross.MaryAnnSpavins-Owen,KiffSiemmons,SusanFord,andLindaThreadgill;CeramicsInvita¬ tional(July1toSeptember?),featuringRodSlagel, ElizabethMcDonnell,DonnaBouthot,PollyCook,Mau¬ reenandBillEllis,andDavidKeater;WearablesbyCaryBuck(July1toSeptember7);BasketsbyPatHickman andLillianEliot(July1toSeptember7);WoodbyRobert HannanandDavidKeater(July1toSeptember7);Glass, “OnePersonShow.”byJohnSeitz(August1toSeptember 7);Fiber(August13toSeptember13),featuringDiane ItterandLeeMalerich;Ceramics(July15toSeptember 15).featuringPatandRichSchneider;andFiber(July15 toSeptember15),featuringLouiseWeaverGreene.Mere¬ dithStrauss,SusanVenebleNelson,JoanMcCandish,Lin Fife,andtentatively,KrisDey.Ihereisalsoafiberwork¬ shoptentativelyscheduledforSeptember12and13.Mon¬ daytoSaturday,10a.m.to6p.m.;andSunday,noonto5 p.m.775-3822.

Continuedonpage10

Eightexperienced owner/brokersina uniquepartnership. SelectedbySotheby's InternationalRealty asitsrepresentativein GreaterPortland.

ATraditionofExcellence inRealEstateBrokerage forMoreThan30Years.

ELEE PIRELLI FIRESTONE

Jim Thorne, Pat Vilven, H. Bud Singer, Diane Shevenell, Barney Burrall Seated: Sue Lamb, Janice Drinan, Chris Jackson

LETTERS

More Tunnels

ToTheEditor:

Wejustreceivedyourmagazinein themail.AsIwasskimmingthepages myattentionwascaughtbyyoureditor¬ ialabouttunnelsinthePortlandarea. Beingatunnel-searcherintheareafora numberofyears,Iamawareofthe fascinationthisavocationevokes.

Ihaveheardthatthereisatunnel betweentwohousesonDanforthStreet thathadtodowiththeUnderground Railroad.Thistunnelissupposedto connectFortScammelandFortGorges beneaththeharbor.Thetunnelson HouseIslandinthefortaremostinter¬ esting.WhenIwaslasttheretherewere small,tobesure,stalactitesandstal¬ agmites.Asexploringteensagroupof usspentmanyhourstryingtofindthat tunnel.Wedidn’tsucceedbuthadalot offuntrying.

JoannaHolbrook

Portland

“ToastOfTheCoast”

ToTheEditor:

Beautifulpublication.Type,design, paper,andmostofall,content.

BettyWinterhalder SouthPortland

FunWithJeanAndFritzi

ToTheEditor:

AsanoldfriendofJeanHawley’s,I wasthrilledwithyourinterviewwithher inyourDecemberissue(“JeanGannett Hawley — A Woman Of Substance,”

byMarciaFeller,Movers&Shakers, December1986).Youreallycaptured thespiritandessenceofamostremark¬ able,warm,andmodestlady.Andthe picturewassmashing.

Wewereoutofthecountryatthe time,so1amenclosingacheckand wouldappreciateyoursendingacopy ofthatissuesoIcanreturnthisone.

AlsoenjoyedthearticleonFritzi Cohen (“Downeast And Out Of Bev¬ erlyHills,”byJohnBidwell)—another accomplished,witty,andfunMaine lady.

BetyO’NeilMarshall Wiscasset

AHeartfeltBravo

ToTheEditor:

My sincere CONGRATULATIONS and a heartfelt BRAVO (Re: John Holversoninterview,May1987)!Final¬ lythisSHAMEFULaffairisoutinthe open.

Whilemanyofusknewofthenit¬ pickingandbackstabbingthatwas goingon,andofthoseresponsibleforit, neverdidweimaginethattheBoard wouldallowittogosofar.After17 yearsofprogressunparalleledinitshis¬ tory,thePortlandMuseumofArthas cometoadeadstop.TheBoardof Trusteeshasfailedcompletelyinits responsibilitytothesupportersofthe Museumandtothepeopleofthecityof Portland.Ipersonallyknowofanumber oflong-timememberswhodonotintend torenewtheirmembershipandofoth¬ erswhohavealreadychangedtheir wills.

Tothinkthatanyonewhohasac¬ complishedsomuchfortheMuseum wouldbetreatedsoSHAMEFULLYis beyondbelief.Whatpersonwiththe propercredentialswouldevenconsider theposition,knowingthecomplete story?UNLESS,ofcourse,thatperson hasalreadybeenchosenandisstand¬ ingintheshadows,bidinghistimeto make an appearance. The shame of thisactionhaslefttheMuseumwitha stainitcanneverovercomeorerase.

LawrenceL.Stevens Portland

Retail and Office Space Now Available. Construction scheduled to beginin March. Fall 1987 opening. Rates for retailspace range from $8.50to $14.00 Triple Net. Office space ranges from $8.50 to $10.50fully serviced. Clienteleis drawn from a large geographical area with above average buying power year-round. Further information can be obtained by calling 1-725-8761.

We’recelebratingthearrival ofourfantasticspring summercollectionsof shoes,clothing,and accessories.

Allofthis,waiting forthewomanwho knowsthedifference betweendressed andlikestocreate herownstatement.

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ON THE TOWN

Continuedfrompage7

ThePineTreeShopandBayviewGallery,75Market Street,Portland.Juneexhibitfeaturesoriginalworksby OrrinTubbs,DonDrake,JohnSwan(DucksUnlimited 1988ArtistoftheYear),andothers.Thegalleryalso featuresprints,posters,andcustomframing.Mondayto Saturday,9:30a.m.to5:30p.m.773-3007.

PostersPlusGallery,146MiddleStreet,Portland.Featur¬ ingoriginalprintsbyFranklinGalambos,Kozo,Harvey Peterson,RonBolt,ThomasMcKnight,TomoeYokoi, RockwellKent,MargaretBabbitt,PeytonHiggison,R.C. Gorman,WillBarnet,NancyJones,CarolCollette,Harold Altman,AlanMagee,JimDine,andothers.Special summershowsincludeoriginalprintsfromthegallerycol¬ lection,includingworksfromtheartistslistedabove(June); watercolorsbyHarveyPeterson,withopeningreception withartistpresentonThursday,July9,5p.m.to8p.m. (July9toJuly30);paintingsbyRufusCoes,withopening receptionwithartistpresentonThursday,August6,5p.m. to8p.m.MondaytoSaturday,10:30a.m.to5:30p.m. BeginninginJuly,callforthegallery’sextendedsummer hours.772-2693.

TheSteinGlassGallery,20MilkStreet,Portland. Summereventsincludeglassfromthevividimaginationof PeterGreenwood(nowthroughJuly7);themostsignificant glasssculptureshowinthenorthernUnitedStates,featuring theworkof14nationallyrecognizedglassartists(August 19throughSeptember30).MondaytoSaturday,10:30 a.m.to6p.m.;Sunday,noonto5p.m.772-9072.

TimesTen,420ForeStreet,Portland.Finefunctional craftsfrom10Mainecraftsmen,includingclocksbyRon Burke,earthenwarepotteryandtilesbyLibbySeigars,and handwovenrugsbySaraHotchkiss.MondaytoSaturday, 10to6.761-1553.

TracyJohnsonFineJewelry,62MarketStreet,Portland. FeaturedartistsincludeTracyJohnson.Karen1{ennessey. CindyEdwards,andKitCarlson.One-of-a-kindcustom designsandfinewatchesareaspecialtyofthehouse. 1uesdaytoSaturday,noonto6p.m.;orbyappointment. 775-2468.

WellinGardinerFineArts.4*/2MilkStreet,Portland. Thegalleryfeaturesaselectionof18thand19thcentury historical,botanical,architectural,sporting,marine,and naturalhistoryprints.Ihegalleryalsospecializesintradi¬ tionalcustomframing,withhand-painted,French-lined mattes.TuesdaytoFriday,10a.m.to5:30p.m.,Satur¬ day,10a.m.to5p.m.

Galleries Around the State

ArtforAmericaGallery.NewcastleSquare.Newcastle. 1hroughJune22.thegallerypresents“Inland-Offshore,” featuringAlanBray,EricHopkins,PennyOliphant,and photographicportraitsofthethreeartistsbyBillThuss. FromJune27toJuly20,watercolorsbyGraydonMayer, SusanVanCampen.andBarbaraPeakes.Mondayto Saturday.10a.m.to5p.m.,orbyappointment.563-1009. TheChocolateChurchArtGallery,804Washington Street,Bath.Thegallerypresentsaseriesofsummershows andexhibitionsincludingSummerInvitational,thegallery asasculpturedenvironment,createdbyNantzCornyns. PublicreceptionJune12.5p.m.to7p.m.;andSummer Juried,anexhibitionopentopainters,sculptors,andprint¬ makers.EntriesdueJuly21:receptionJuly31from5p.m. to7p.m.442-8455.

LeightonGallery.ParkerPointRoad.BlueHill.The gallerypresentsworksinallmediabycontemporaryartists fromMaineandaroundthecountry.ThroughJune19,the gallerypresentsaPreviewofComingAttractions,featuring sculptorMarkMatthews,photographsbyDoloresSep¬ tember,andpaintingsbyPhilipBarter;fromJune21toJuly 10,agroupshowofpaintingsbyWendyLewis,Yves Liston,KarlSchrag,HeidiDaub,andDonnaZaitlin.Froin June12toJuly31,anexhibitofpaintingsbyLenore Straus,JaneHall,LeonGolden,PaulJohn,andphoto¬ grapherIvanMassur.Inaddition,thegallerypresents changingexhibitsofsuchregularsasSeanMorrissey. JudithLeighton,MarkMatthews.EliotSweet.RobertShetterly,EdwinGamble,JaneWasey,PriscillaPattisonand RayCarbone.MondaytoSaturday,10to6;Sunday1to6, (exceptonopeningSundays).374-5001.

FarrellGallery,46MaineStreet,Brunswick.Gallery exhibitionsthroughthefallincludepaintingsbyMaurice Grosser(throughJuly18);PaintingsbyHuntSlonem(July 24toAugust29);andfabricartbyDuncanSladeand GayleFraas(September5toOctober31).729-8228.

Museums

BowdoinCollegeMuseumofArt,BowdoinCollege, Brunswick.ThroughJune7,recentacquisitions:19851987.TwilightofArcadia:AmericanLandscapePainters inRome1830-1880(throughJuly5);watercolorsfromthe PermanentCollection(throughJune21);andLucySallick, recentwork.TuesdaytoFriday,10to4;Saturday,10to5; Sunday,2to5.ClosedMondaysandholidays.725-8731 x253.

Peary-MacMillanArticMuseum,HubbardHall,Bow¬ doinCollege,Brunswick.Continuingexhibitsfromthecol¬ lections,includingartifacts,carvings,costumesandpaint¬ ingsofthetwofamousexplorers.TuesdaythroughFriday, 10to4;Saturday,10to5;Sunday,2to5.ClosedMon¬ daysandholidays.725-8731x253.

MaineMaritimeMuseum,963WashingtonStreet,Bath. 7hemuseumoffersthevisitoracomprehensiveexperience of19thcenturyseacoastlife,atimewhenhalfofallmer¬ chantvesselsflyingtheUnitedStatesflagwerebuiltinBath. Themuseum’scollectionsincludeships’paintings,models, navigationalinstruments,fishinggear,antiquetools,period furnishings,familyportraits,foreigntradeitemsandother memorabilia,andanoutstandingcollectionofoverahalf¬ milliondocuments,accountbooks,ships’logs,ships'plans, mapsandcharts.Ihemuseum’sApprenticeshoprestores woodenboatsusingtechniquesandtoolsfromthegolden ageofshipbuilding.Formoreinformation,call443-6311. JoanWhitneyPaysonGalleryofArt.WestbrookCol¬ lege.StevensAvenue,Portland.FromnowthroughOctober 25,thegallerypresentsthePermanentCollection,whose foundationisinthesuperbworkscollectedbyJoanWhitney Payson,includingdrawingsbyDaumier.Degas,Glackens, Ingres,Picasso,andWhistler;andpaintingsbyChagall, Corbet.Robinson.Rousseau,Sargent.Sisley,Soutine.Van Gough,andWyeth.Inaddition,loansofworksbyCassatt andStuartwillhelpthegallerycelebrateits1OthAnniver¬ saryYear.TuesdaytoFriday,10to4;Saturdayand Sunday.1to5.ClosedMondays,holidaysandbetween exhibitions.797-9546.

PenobscotNationMuseum.CenterStreet.IndianIsland. OldIown.ThePenobscotIribalMuseumdisplaystradi¬ tionalandcontemporaryNortheastIndianartsandcrafts, includingbasketry,woodcarvings,stonesculpture,and prehistoricstoneimplements.Paintings,artifactsandcos¬ tumesarealsoondisplay.MondaythroughFriday.12to4, Morningsbyappointment.S1/$1.50.827-6545.

Continuedonpage18

JOHNLIBBY

... OR WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU'RE MISS DEERING

HIGH 1965 ... SPOTLIGHT

CanMissDeering High1965leave Portland,Maineandfindhappiness withadynamitecareer,ahandsome, successfulhusband,twobeautifulsons, andhomesinLosAngelesandToronto? Theladyinquestionisdark-eyed, funnyAndreaMartin,andtheansweris aresounding“Yes!”DaughterofPor¬ tland’s“MerryManor”magnate,Andrea isthestarof“Roxie,”aCBS-TVsitcom whichdebutedonWednesdaynightslast spring.Andthoughherbackgroundin¬ cludestheaterandfilms,sheisprobably bestknownforheryearsasawriterand actorforthe“SecondCityTelevision Network(SCTV),”thebrilliantEmmywinningcomedyofTVsyndication, NBC late nights, and Cinemax pay cable.Twoofthecharactersshecreated, garrulousstationmanagerEdithPrickleyandincomprehensiblecleaning womanPiriniScleroso,helpedbringher a 1982 Emmy nomination for Best SupportingActressinacomedyaswell astwowritingEmmyssharedwiththe otherSCTVcreators.

In1980,Andreawasaskedabout hergoalswhenshewasincludedina prestigiousbookcalled Women of Canada,andshesaid:“1wanttogetto thepointwhere1trulyknowthemean¬ ingofthewordsatisfaction.Infive yearsI’dliketohaveachild,aloving

marriage,andabloomingcareer...a careerthatentailsworkingwithFellini orTruffaut.”Now,sevenyearslater, Andrea’sgoalshavebeenmetbutfor Fellini,nowthatTruffautisgone.She adds,“I’dreallylovetodoalow-budget filmthatiscompletelymyvision,with peoplewhohavethesamevision.I don’tknowwhatI’dlikeittosayyet,but itwouldbemymaterial.Yes,that’s whatI’ddesperatelylovetodo...or maybeasmallprojectforpay-TVor

BY FRITZI COHEN

syndication,notnetwork.Ihavean idea,veryeccentric,that’sbasedona book.Itwon’thavetremendousappeal toeveryone,butitwillbemovingandit willtouchpeople.Yousee,what’sso frustratingaboutprime-timeTVlike “Roxie”isthatit’stheirmaterial,and youmustrelinquishcontrolandmake lotsofcompromises.Sure,Ireallywant successandIlovebeingafunnygirl, butsomedayI’dliketotrustmyself enoughtodolotsofotherthings.”

AboutSCTV’slate-nightairing,An¬ dreasays:“I’velikeditthatallmylife I’vebeenontheedgeofmainstream

BGOIBHB

SPOTLIGHT

America,acultfigure,anight-market person.It’sreallyironicthatI’mnow doing“Roxie,”thekindofshowthatis theexactopposite.Onethinggood abouttheseries,though,isthatpeople

“Asakid,myinsecurity camefromfeelinglikean outsiderbecauseI'm Armenianwithdarkeyes anddarkhairandthe world was blonde and Waspy. No one made me feelthatway.Itwasjust somethinginme.”

— Andrea Martin

“I'velikeditthatallmy lifeI’vebeenontheedge ofmainstreamAmerica, acultfigure,anight¬ marketperson...’’

— Andrea Martin

willseemeasdifferentfromoneofmy funnycharacters.”

AlthoughAndrea’stheatercareerin¬ cludesleadingrolesin You’reaGood Man,CharlieBrown;Godspell;Vani¬ ties;PrivateLives(inStratford,On¬ tariowithMaggieSmithandBrian

Bedford);andCandide,Irememberher inmuchearlier,localproductions.Port¬ landChildren’sTheatercamefirst,and atage14,Andreaplayed“Liat”inthe 1961KennebunkportPlayhouse’sSouth

Andrea(farleft) ataDorothy Mason School oftheDance recitalinthe early1960s. Andrea(farleft) inanother Dorothy Mason spectacular. (WinaPortland MonthlyT-shirt byidentifying theother dancersin thesephotos! Writeto Portland Monthly, 154 MiddleStreet, Portland, Maine 04101.)

Pacific, starring now-famous Penny Fuller.AsummerseasonattheRam IslandPlayhouseshowcasedAndrea as“AdoAnnie”inOklahoma!, “Gooch” inMame,plusrolesinMarat-Sadeand ThreepennyOpera.Asatheatercritic forWCSH-TV,Ireviewedherseveral times.Shewaswonderful!

PortlandMonthly:Tellmeaboutsome of your Portland memories — your worst,yourbest.

Andrea Martin: My worst! That’s easy!Tryingoutforsportsinschool.I wasawful,and1hatedit.Funny, becauseafterIgotoutofschoolIwas reallyquiteathletic.Oh,1havelotsof happy memories. My happiest was beingacounselorattheLutherGulick CampatSebago,twosummersduring highschool.Itaughtdrama.Iremember itasbeingthebesttimeofmylife.

PM:1veknownyouallyourlife, Andrea.Fromthetimeyourmother usedtowalkyouinyourcarriageasa babyuntilyougraduatedfromDeering HighSchoolin1965,wealwayslived withinthreeblocksofeachother.I rememberthepianoanddancelessons, yourelectionasMissDeeringinyour senioryear,thesummertheatrestints, theactive,busyyoungster.Doyoufeel driven...insecure?

AM:Yes,Ihavethisenormousamount ofenergy,and1dofeeldriven—to expressmyself—thenandnow.Inse¬ cure?Well,sometimesIthink,“Oh God,1can’tdoit,”butthenIpush

MissDeeringIfighSchool‘65 inconservativecashmere(and aPattyDukeflip)forherVan¬ tine’sStudiograduationphoto.

myselftodoit,andyouknow,oftenit’s reallygood!Asakidmyinsecurity camefromfeelinglikeanoutsider becauseI’mArmenianwithdarkeyes anddarkhairandtheworldwasblonde andWaspy.Noonemademefeelthat way.Itwasjustsomethinginme.

PM:DoyoumissPortland?

AM:Yes,but1reallymissmyhomein Toronto.AfterPortland,Ireallygrew upinToronto.Mycareertookoffthere, andIgotmarriedandhadmychildren there.

PM:YourhusbandisCanadian.Fell meabouthim.

AM: His name is Bob Dolman, and he’sawonderfulpersonandagreat writer.WeworkedtogetheronSCTV, andnowhe’sheadedforEnglandtofilm Willow.1Iewrotethescreenplay,and itisbeingdirectedbyBonIfowardand producedbyGeorgeLucas.Healso wroteCowboy Joe, anABC-IVpilot starringPattiLupone(“Evita”on Broadway),whichisnowintheworks.

PM:Describeyourself!

AM:Joyfulontheoutside!Worriedon theinside!

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GROWING UP AS THE DAUGHTER OF PORTLAND'S "MERRY MANOR" MAGNATE...

SybilMartin,Andrea’smother,says herdaughterstartedperformingtheday shewasborn.Althoughthefamilyhad no formal theatrical background, Sybil’sparents,fromIstanbul,were teachersintheArmenianSchoolthey createdatPortland’sChestnutStreet Church. Classes in Armenian were conductedfortwohoursafterpublic school,andtheyputonplaysatChrist¬ mas,atgraduation,andattheendof theyear.Therewerealsopoetryread¬ ingsandlittledancenumbersinwhat reallyamountedtorecitals.Sybilwas thestar!WhenAndreawas2*/zyears oldSybilbrokeherleg,soshespenta greatdealoftimereadingtoherlittle daughter.Andreawasalreadyreciting fromShakespeare,andwhenhermother readtoherfrom“PaulRevere’sRide” or“TheRaven,”Sybilwoulddothefirst lineandAndreawoulddothenext. Andreareadandbegantodoagreat dealofwriting.Oneromanticstorythat Andreawrotewasabouttwotrees.

PenelopePineandBrucetheSpruce. PenelopeandBrucefellinlove,but mencameandcutthemdown.Even¬ tuallyPenelopebecameadoorand Brucebecameanotherpartofthesame house,sotheyendeduptogetherand livedhappilyeverafter.Thismaywell havebeentheauspiciousstartofAndrea Martin’sEmmy-winningwritingcareer forSCTV!

Sybilmakesabigpointofsayingthat Andreahasworkedandstudiedhardto getwheresheis.Atage8shestarted takingpianolessonsfromPriscilla Morneault.Herrecitalwasintherotunda oftheoldArtMuseum,whereshere¬ citedapoemaboutakittenandthen played“KittenInaMusicBox.”Sybil saysshewasthe“starpupil.”Andrea alsostudiedandperformedatthe DorothyMasonSchooloftheDance.

Andrea’smotherclearlyremembers thatherdaughter’sclowningaround duringherearlyschoolyearsatNathan CliffordandRooseveltSchoolresulted

AndreaasLucyintheTorontobased“You’reAGoodMan, CharlieBrown.”1969-1970.

inhertransfertoSt.Joseph’sAcademy fortwoyearsbeforeenteringDeering HighSchool.There,herwishtoper¬ formledtoDeering’sDramaticClub, whereshewasveryactive.Aftergradu¬ ationin1965,Andreawentofftocol¬ lege,graduatingfromEmersonCollege inBostonin1969.Shethenstudied mimeduringherjunioryearattheSor¬ bonneinFrance.AfterEmerson,she hadplannedtospendayearinNew Yorkinanapartmentthatwastobea graduationpresentfromherparents. Unexpectedly,shewascalledtoaudi¬ tionforthepartof“Lucy”inaToronto productionofYou’re a Good Man, CharlieBrown.Ninetygirlstriedout, andAndreagotthepart!Shetraveled forayearwiththeplayandthengotinto GodspellattheRoyalAlexandreThea¬ terinToronto.Bynowshewaslivingin Torontoanddoinglivetheater.Shehad dreamedofbeingaseriousactress,but somewherealongthewayshedecided shewasmusicalcomedymaterial.To thisdayshelovestomakepeople laugh.

SybilMartinglowswithpridewhen shementionshertwograndsons... JohnHartleyDolman,6,andJoseph MartinDolman,4.Andrea’syounger sister,Marcie,ismarriedtoaCanadian andisproductionmanagerofCity-TV inTorontoandvicepresidentofChumCity,whichisanaffiliate,andproduces independentshows.BrotherPeterMar¬ tinisoneoftheownersoftheWonder¬ barRestaurantinBiddefordandworks forhisfatheratJohnMartin’sWater¬ villeManorRestaurant.

SybilMartincannowlaughabout Andrea’sirrepressiblehijinks,clown¬ ing,andgeneralmischiefmakingwhen shewasyounger.Shedoes,however, haveoneveryclearandsoberingmem¬ oryofthetimeAndreawasattheSor¬ bonnein1968.Chaosandstudentpro¬ testsoverwhelmedParis,withthestreets alltornupandgarbagelyingabout. Whenthenewsbrokehere,Sybil’sfirst thought was, “Oh my God, Andrea startedariot!”

SPOTLIGHT

PM:Whodoyouidentifywithinthe business?

AM:CarolBurnett,Iguess,andFanny Brice.Oh,1metCarol,andsheisreally graciousandsupportive.Shewasa greatfanofSCTV.Once,whenshe wasdoingamovieinTorontowithEliz¬ abethTaylor,Ihadhertodinner,and

SCTV characters (from top): “LibbyWolfson”(AndreaMartin); and“PiriniScleroso”(AndreaMartin).

shewasterrific.Afterwardsshesent flowerstomeandmymother-in-law, whowasill,andalsowrotealetter.Nice lady!

PM: Ifyouhadthreewishes,what wouldtheybe?

AM:Oh,letmethink.Well,I’dliketo workwithoutfeelingguiltyaboutbeing

REDUNE BOTTOM LINE $375<>o B month

Stock#70634.60monthlease.Firstandlast paymentof$375.00dueatinception.60monthly paymentsof$375,00totaling$22,500.Option topurchaseavailable.Expensepermileover 75,000.10centspermile.

©Classic©

awayfromthechildren,andI’dliketo bewithmychildrenwithoutfeeling guiltyaboutnotworking!Two...I’d liketodoaprojectofmyownandwork withcompatiblepeople.Andthree...I justranmyfirst10-Krace.Mydreamis torunintheBostonMarathon!

PM:AnyotherPortlandmemories... places,people?

AM:Ohyes.1lovedChildren’sTheater, SummerTheater,smellingthepine trees,andwalkingonthebeach.I’mstill intouchwithMarthaCraneSouleof Yarmouth,whowasatcampwithme, andIseeJeannieVallelyallthetime.

WegrewuptogetheronWhitneyAve¬ nueinPortland.Shehastwochildren andlivesinBrentwood,California. She’seditorofCQmagazine,andright nowshe’swritingascreenplay.

PM: IrememberJeannieverywell. Verytalented.Shewroteacoverstory onJawsandStevenSpielbergforTime magazineyearsago.ShecametoMar¬ tha’sVineyardfortheinterviewand researchduringthefilming.Well,An¬ drea,wouldyoulikemetodeliverany messagestoanyonehere?

AM:JustgiveMaineabigkissforme! Continuedonpage19

Ahotelinthegrandtradition.

TheSonestaHotelPortland.Acharm¬ ingplacetostaythatcombinesthe ambienceofturnofthecenturyNew Englandwiththecomfortsandamenities thattoday’stravelerexpects.Ahotel wherepersonalserviceandattentionto detailisdeeplyrootedintradition. We'relocateddowntownneartheCivic Center,nexttoPortland'snewart

museum,onlyashortwalktotheOld PortandjustminutesfromthePortland Jetport.OurRibRoomfeatures everythingfromroastprimeribsof beeftofreshMaineseafooddelicacies. And,wehavesuperbmeetingandban¬ quetrooms,ideallysuitedforavariety ofbusinessandsocialgatherings. So,thisyearstaywithtradition. ForreservationscallatravelagentorSonestaat 800-343-7170.

^SonestaHotelPortland

157HighStreet.Portland,Maine04101207-775-5411

SonestameanspersonalserviceinBoston(Cambridge).KeyBiscayne(Miami)andOrlando(Florida). NewOrleans.Portland(Mame).Amsterdam.Bermuda.Egypt.Israel

ChaseSummerBluesWithVintageThrillers.

Dr.Videorecommendssomethingtogetusout ofthesummerblues—edge-oLthe-seatthrillers tostimulatethebl<x>d.

Hereareseveralexcellent,butlittle-known,thrillersthat mightjustrescuereaders.Yourprescription:Watchtwoof themandreadthiscolumnnexttime.

AlfredHitchcock,ofcourse,isalwaysasuggested remedy:acertifiedmasterofsuspensewhosedazzling camerastylene'erceasestolureusdownsinisterpathswe fearbutlovetogo.Oneofthemostexciting,anddelightful —andleastknown—ofhisthrillersis“ForeignCorres¬ pondent"(1940).

Ilereafirst-timecorrespondent,intheradiantandeager formofJoelMcCrea,issenttoEuropeatthebeginningof WorldWarIIIointerviewadiplomatwhoseimpending announcementjustmightholdthekeytopeace.Butthe diplomatdisappears,followingtheassassinationofadou¬ ble.andMcCreacontinuestofollowthetraildeepintothe heartofabloodyNazisubterfugeinvolvingassassination, espionage,murder,andnotleastofall.romance.

Filmedduring1litchcock’smiddleperiod(justafter“The LadyVanishes"and“TheThirty-NineSteps"),thismovie containssomeremarkableclassicscenes(suchasthefam¬ ouswindmillsequencewhereMcCreaisabouttobe unavoidablychurnedtodeathashe’sattemptingtolistenin onasecretNiizirendezvous),aswellascontemporary pacingandastonishingspecialeffects.

1heplanecrashattheend,initsvisceralimpactonthe vieweraswellaspassengers,issomethingthatcouldhave beenfilmedyesterday.Withasuperbsupportingcastthat includestheimpeccableGeorgeSanders(heredoubly satisfyinginthatheplaysa"goodguy”forachange)along withRobertBenchley,EdmundGwen,andHerbertMar¬ shall.“ForeignCorrespondent"isanunusuallytransporting thrillerthat’sdefinitelyworthwritinghomeabout.

Ofmorerecentvintage,darkandsinisterand dangerousaswell-bredandheadywine,is “TheSilentPartner"(1978).ElliottGould (nocomicIxiffooneryhere)playsamild-manneredCana¬ dianbanktellerwho,whiletakinghisleisurelylunchunwit¬ tinglyperceivesthatamaninaSantaClauscostumesuitis preparingtorobhisbank.

Insinuatinghimselfbackintowhatisnowthetargetcage, hecarefullysecretessomemoneyforhimself,goesthrough

Continuedfrompage11

BY CHARLIE BROWN

ortland.Maine,culturalcenterlortheexploding North-Northeast,theLittleHubolEntertainment and Media, the VACATIONLAND Vegas... Hey,notsofast,LobsterBreath—Imean,considering itssize,Portlandcanbeprettyentertainin',thecity’ssym¬ phony,theater,world-classstringquartet,andorganiza¬ tionslikethePortlandConcertAssociationsupplyquality, affordablemusicalofferingsyear-round.TheCivicCenter isaregularstopfornationalarenaevents,andtheSummerjazzprogramatthePerformingArtsCentercanbespec¬ tacular.Iherearefirst-,second-,andthird-runmovies, goodcableIVshows,somedecentandevenexcellent restaurants,and121varietiesofGreenMountaincoffee. Butmyconcernistheelectricmusicalarts,mystage(if any)thenightclubs,mybusinesspopmusic.Andthepopu¬ larmusicbusinessinPortlandcanbesummedupintwo

BY HENRY PAPER

withtherobberyandthenlaterblamestheadditional money’slossontherobber.It’saperfect,ifspontaneous, crimeonhisownpart—untiltherobbercallshimuplater andtellshim:“Onenightwhenyoucomehome,you’llfind meinside,waiting—andthatwillbethenightyou’llwish you’dneverbeenborn...”

ThusGouldbecomestheunwitting“silentpartner”Ioa crazedandsadisticcriminalplayedbyChristopherPlummer whoseekstoembroilthebanktellerinmoresinisterschemes. HowGoulddesperatelyseekstoannulthepartnershipwhile keepinghislifemakesforatenseandrivetingpsychological thrillerwhosesuperbstory-tellingwillhaveyouguessing untiltheend.

Here’savintagepsychologicalmysterythat,as accompaniedbyasuperbconcertpiano score,isalsoaheart-wrenchingromantic dramaaswell.“TheSeventhVeil"(1945)isthestoryof atalented,beautifulorphangirlraisedinseclusionbyan elegantwoman-hater(playedbytheepitomeofelegant acting.JamesMason)whotrainsandintimidatesherinto becomingaworld-renownedconcertpianist. Asshegrowsintowomanhood(underhermentor’s Svengali-liketutelage),twoothermenshemeets—abrash bigbandsaxophoneplayerandaweaksocialite—adda furthernoteofconfusioninherlife,pushinghertothebrink ofsuicideandpermanentcatatonia.Butdeepdowninside her,behindthe“seventhveil”thathidestheheart’sinner¬ mostsecrets,oneofthesemencanactuallysaveher.Which oneisit?

Thisgothicromantictalewillhaveviewerswringingtheir handkerchiefsallthewaytotherichlysatisfyingsurprise conclusion. _<Ji

Continuedfrompage17

Whenmysonsgrowup,1wantthemto gotocampthereso1’11havemore excusestocometovisit.ButI’dreally wishthey’dstopallthebuildingand expansion.I’dlikethecityplannersto justeaseupandleaveMainealone.I thinkofitasoneofthelastfrontiersof simplicityandnaturalbeauty,andI’m afraidthey’lldestroytheessenceof Maine.Iknowit’sunrealistic,but1can change,yetMainemustremainthe sameas1rememberitwhenIwasgrow¬ ingup.

AndreaMartinhasbeencalleda genius,asupremesatiristwithuncanny talent.Tomesheisallofthat,butalso amazinglylittlechangedfromPortland’s bright-eyedcomicdynamo.So...move overCarolBurnettandLilyTomlin, andifthemarathonisonAndrea’s agenda,watchout,JoanieBenoit!

HEADLINE

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SI Classics

words—HurTing.Hurtingforgoodclubs.Hurtingfor exposure.Hurtingfortalent.Worstofall,hurtingforcrea¬ tivity.Imean,we’retalkingasmallandfragmentedscene here,discouraginglysmall,distressinglyfragmented,with anoverridinginferioritycomplexbiggerthanWestbrook’s.

Sowhat’sthebigsurprise?Haven’ttalentedlocalpop musiciansalwayshadtoleavetheareatoadvancetheir careers,justliketheirambitiouscounterpartsinotherfields? Aren'tlocalgigs,musicalandotherwise,alwaysinferiorin payandperksandpromotionstothoseavailablefarther south?Aren’ttheperformingcenters,brightlights,andbig moneyofShowBizinL.A.andN.Y.C.,inshort,anywhere buthere?

Well,yes.

Butwouldn’tyouthinkthatSomewhereoutoftheglareof theBigSpotlight,whereapersonhastimetoreflecton thingsalittle.SomewhereoutoftheMetroplexbutalsonot

toofaraway,ontheEastCoast,preferably,Somewherethe costoflivingstillisn’ttoobadandyoucouldbetappedinto what'shappeningintheBigCity,aSomewhereyoucould actuallyknowyourneighborsandbringupthekidsand keepabandtogetherandrehearsedandperforming,a SomewhereverymuchlikePortland,Maine;couldn'tthat Somewherepossiblybeanidealspotformoldingandform¬ ingthetalentthatacontinuouslyravenousrecordingindus¬ tryneedstosurvive?Imean,wouldn’tyouthinkitwas possible?

Youknow,it’sfunny,butIhadthesameideamyself once,oh,about10yearsorsoagowhenImovedherefresh outofmusicschool,boredtotearswiththeuniversity “serious”musicallifeandcontemplatingafutureinpop(/71 justholeupinthisnicetown,here,Ithinks,andmakethose recordindustryguyscometome,assoonasI’mready,that is).Itwasntsuchabadplan,really;inthatamountoftime

I’veseenregionalmusiccentersofimportancesprout aroundthecountry.Athens,Georgia,putonthemapbythe B-52’s;MinneapolisbyPrince;Austin,Texas.Imean, Durham,NorthCarolina,byStameyandthedbboys*None oftheseplacesareexactlymediacenters(manyaremajor universitytowns,ofcourse),butImeanhereweare,110 milesfromFenwayPark,noteventhedistancetoBangor fromBoston,andweareoutofit,people.Thisisnota physicalailmenthere,we’retalkingpsychology,asinhead cases.

Here’sanexample:Fridaynight,Portland,Maine,The OldPortTavern,jammed,walltowall,ashowcaseroom fortalentthataNewYorkCitybandwouldkilllor,theband takesthestage,andwhatdo(heydowiththeattentionofa captiveaudience?Theyre-createthesongsontheradio,the lookofthemusicvideo,notefornote,withkilling,mindContinuedonpage32

Fritzi Cohen.

AT LARGE PORTLAND’S FUNNY BUSINESS

COMEDY NIGHT AT THE RUSTIC AND RAOUL'S ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

SaturdaynighteasesintoPortland, andhappilyIdonothaveto reviewmylimitedoptionsforthe evening’sentertainment.Forwhenthe lunarlandscapebackdropstheB&M plantandthelastfuchsiaraysfade behindtheS.D.Warrenpapermill,my friendandIareofftoComedyNightat theRustic!

Theprospectofacomedynightin Portland used to summon to mind imagesoftwoelderlyYankeesex¬ changingtalesoffishingandflatland¬ ers.NineteenEightySeven,however, willforeverberememberedasawater¬ shedforPortlandcomedy—thisisthe year“nationallyknown”comicshave startedtoentertainMainersonaregu¬ larbasis.NotonlyistheRusticpromo¬ tingnationallyknowncomicsevery Saturdaynight,butRaoul’sRoadside Attractionhasestablishedascheduled showevery1hursdayevening,and

■■BY JOHN DAVIS BIDWELL

comedianslikeJayLeno,DavidLet¬ terman’ssometimestand-in,havestarlightedPortland'sCityHall.

IheRustic’sshowbeginsat8p.m., butanearliertelephonewarningsug¬ gestswearriveat6:30toassuregood

seating.Idismissthiswarningaspro¬ motionalhype,andwemeanderupto theRustic’sdoormanjustbefore7p.m. Afterpayinga$5coverchargeeach, wesoondiscoverthattheonlyroom availableisstanding,intheback,inthe rearoftheback,bythedarkcornerof thebar.

1heRusticismobbed.

Althoughageoftheclientelevaries, theatmosphereisprimarilycollegiate andthedecordark,litbyonlyatelevi¬ sionandhalf-glowingneonbeersigns. At8:30afingernailrapsthemicro¬ phone,andeyeswhichpreviouslybusied themselveswithscopingthesceneturn towardthemakeshiftstageasWGAN’s ShanaRoseintroducestonight’sfirst act.

Theshowison.

Boston’sownJimCareytakesthe mike.Illuminatedbystagelights,Carey isreminiscentofasmuguniversitystu¬ dent,andoncethedialoguestarts,the imageiscomplete.Hehasasarcastic commentforeverything,especiallythe obvious.

“Readthepapertoday.Thelead storytellsofamotherof15whooper¬ atedaprostitutionring.Amotherof15 verydifferentchildren.Andthehead¬ line reads ‘SHE WAS IN IT...FOR I HEMONEY.’ Hhhmmmm, now folks, whoherecanrememberthegoodold days,whenprostitutesdidthatkindof thingforfree?”

ThroughouttheactIgiggleandspill myHeineken.Myfriendtriestodis¬ creetlydistanceherselffromme.The largewallowingcrowd,however,works to my advantage and hampers her escape.Shedecidestojustenjoythe entertainment,andCareybeginshis imitationofAndyRooney.

“Thesearemyhotdogs.Ilikemy hotdogs.Ireallydo.Butwhyisitthat mydogscomeinpacksof10,andmy hotdogbunsinpacksof8?”

AfterCareyrelinquishesthemike backtoShana,whopreparesforthe secondact,hecomesbacktowardour darkcornerofthebarforadrink.

“I...um...lovedyershowJim,loved it,heh-heh.”

Notusedtohobnobbingwithcelebri¬ ties,Istumbleovermywordsandwait inanxiousanticipationforhisreply.

“Ah,thanks,thanks,”saysCarey.

Hegivesmeacold,clammyhandshake whilehelooksathisshoes.

Istand,confused,ashewalkstothe lighterendofthebar.Couldthisbethe sameJimCareywithwhomwehadjust laughed?Wherewasthesharpretort, thequickcomeback,theskillfulsculpt¬ ingandartfullayeringofwitandwords?

Icomplaintomyfriend,whotellsme tobequietandgivetheguyabreak. Feelingatingeofguiltaboutperhaps beingtooharshwithme,shethenasks meabouttheRaoul’sshowI’dtakenin earlierintheweek...

x x

Careyheadlinestonight’sThurs¬ dayshow,whereheemcees(howoften thesamecomicpinballsbetweenPort¬ land’scomicspots,though,Idonot know).Theothercomediansinclude StevenTrillingsandMikeDonovan, bothfromBostonandbothaccustomed tonighclubbingacrossthecountry. ThiseveningatRaoul’sprovidesan excellentexampleofthevarietyof comedythatcanbeseeninPortland’s new“comedy-clubs.”

Trillingsmightwellbediscovered filmingaremake/variationof“The Fly”;heappearstobeabiologicalsyn¬ thesisofJeffGoldblumandPeewee Herman.1makeamentalnotetoin¬ cludethisbrilliantandinsightfuldes¬ criptioninmyarticle.

“I...Igotintoacaraccidentlast night,”Trillingsstarts,slouchingover themicrophone,squintinghispliable faceandtwistinghishandasiftocatch abirddropping,’’...withadrunk.Buthe wasataslightdisadvantage,see...He was walking.... Ya know, I’ve been accusedoflookinglikeJeffGoldblum ...andevenPeeweeHerman(twistand squint).”

Theroomcapsizeswithlaughter;this timeIsilentlygnawmytongue.1make amentalnotetoexcludemybrilliant andinsightfuldescriptionfrommyar¬ ticle.

WithahaircutreminiscentofSir Galahadandpost-Aquariusclothing thatdoesnotquitefit,Raoul’ssecond act,MikeDonovan,couldpasshimself offasaPatBoone’sPatBoone.Dono¬ van’simage,though,giveslittleindica¬ tionofhisstyleofhumor:crudeand pan-blackened.

“Hey,enoughoftheseadspromising ‘thisBud’sforyou.’Hey,thisBud’sfor me...andsoisthisone,andthisone, Continuedonpage23

CREDITLINE

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TheodoreLoganandSonisaregionalcompany,thelargestofitskind inNorthernNewEngland,withtheresourcesandmanpowertoreadily dealwiththemostdemandingjobs.Butwe’realsoalocalcompany,with representationthroughoutthestate,allowingustoprovidethedaily serviceandtroubleshootingcapabilitiesneededtogetthejobdone.

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AT LARGE

Continuedfrompage21 and...”

Mainersintractablypossessastrong loveaffairwithalcohol-relatedjokes, forthislineandothersdrawastrong response,butDonovanreceivesthe greatestapplauseforhisimitations. JohnnyMostandotherBostonsports¬ castersaremimickedsothateventhe athleticallyignorant,likemyself,chuckle incessantly.Suchvenerableiconsof wholesomenessasearlySundaymorn¬ ing’s “Davy and Goliath,” Brooke Shields,andcharactersfromSesame Streetaredesecratedbeyondritual cleansing.

SinceRaoul’sComedyNightfallson aweeknight,Thursdayshowsdonot seemtoattractthesamevolumeof peopleastheRustic’sSaturdayshow. YetwhatRaoul’scrowdlacksinnum¬ ber,itdefinitelymakesupforinrowdy enthusiasm.Wealsohavetheoppor¬ tunitytositatafront-rowtable.Frontrowseats,though,arenotalwaysthe bestseatsifyoujustwanttoenjoy,and notbecome,thenight’sentertainment.

“Getaloadofthis.Peoplepaytosee meperform,andwhatdotheydo?At thistablesomejerkistakingnotes...”

“...takingnotes,”Iscribble.Little wonderIamsoexcitedaboutnext Saturday’sacts.

Jerkingmedownfrommyrambling reminiscingaboutRaoul’s,theRustic’s secondact,MikeMcDonald,ascends theplatform.McDonaldissomethingof aliving,breathingGaryLarsoncharac¬ terfrom’’TheFarSide.”Hebeginshis showwithanimmediateassaultonthe Rusticestablishmentandtheaudience. Hisferociouslinesareloudandfast, andourlaughingrespondsinkind.

“JustwhoisthisBeatrice, anyhow? Someolddamewhosuddenlyturned intoaconglomerate?Andthose*#@S% religiouscerealslikeQuakerOats.Pretty soonwe’llhave@#$%&CocoaChris¬ tiansandHoney-NutHindus.Hey,I’m notexactlysurewhatapheromoneis — maybe a hormone with fur — but I’veheardthey’regreatforattracting fish.So,iftheyworksowell,whynot secretlysprinklesomeonyourfriend’s swimsuitnexttimeyou’reatCrescent Beach?”

Continuedonpage32

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Skowhegan: A Ten-Year Retro¬ spectiveopensJune13atthe PortlandMuseumofArt.This couldpotentiallybeavery stimulatingandinfluentialexhi¬ bition.

BernardHagedorns, “MyHouseMotherEarth,” 1983.

Michael Moore,professorandchairmanoftheartdepartment attheUniversityofSouthernMaine,willbeshowing22draw¬ ingsintheuniversity'snewestexhibitionspace—thePortland CampusCenter’sMarketplaceGallery.Theexhibitionwillbe onviewthroughJune13.

Picturedare“Labyrinth,’’ 1985,byCelesteRoberge,the onlyMaineartistincludedin theshow;

JohnCoffey,curate College Museum of exhibitofItalianIan artistsofthe19thcn

“TwilightofArcadia inRome,1830-188(. throughJuly7.Pict GeorgeInness,pain

tofcollectionsattheBowdoin M,hasdevelopedasignificant EscapepaintingsbyAmerican ^tury.Theexhibition,titled American Landscape Painters >”zson view at the museum i.redis"St.Peter’sRome,"by tedin1857:

PORTLAND'S WORKING

THE WATERFRONT

dropdownfromthesky,thecity takingshapebelowthroughthegauzy air.Blankofficehighrisescommandthe bluffland,andthewaterfront’sanes¬ carpmentofwhitehotels.Bluehelicop¬ terslandinranks,bearingcratesof nouveaubeaujolaisandbabyaspara¬ gus.Harborsideit’samazeofarchitec¬ tureasIsearchforthewater,dodging urnsofflushinggeraniumsandstreet mimesdressedlikePee-WeeHerman

MargareteC.Schnauck 1hisisnow:Asimilarbird’s-eye-viewofthe Portlandwaterfrontin1987.

Thatwasthen:Saloons,grainelevators, railroadtracks,‘new’electricpower,two coalyards,sawdustrestaurants,andoyster shells—thebustlingPortlandwaterfront whenthecitywasthethird-largestseaport ontheEastCoast.

)NT, PAST AND PRESENT

—hawkingminiaturelobsterrolls,tip¬ toeingupinvisibleladderstoward nothingness...”

Myclock-radiorescuesme,andthe awesomemanifestationseepsawayinto Shostakovich,softandsanguineinthe dulllightofmorning.Bythesecondcup ofstrong-brewedKenyanhigh-grown, thefuturedoesn’tseemquitesogrim, andIfaceEastwithconfidence,toward thepiers,theharbor,thebay.

Sure,thewaterfront’supforgrabs, butmaybethat’salwaysbeenthecase, eversincetheColonialistsinchedout theNativeAmericans,whoinchedout thedeerandtheantelopebeforethem. Todayitseemspossibletostrikesome compromises and amid myriad pressuresforuse,there’spotent opinionathandtopreventthewater¬ frontfrombecomingLittleFortLauder¬ daleonCascoBay.OurownGaltMile, shimmering.

Butevenasthecriesrisefora“work¬ ingwaterfront,”Iremindmyselfthat thetermitselfhasahistoryofvaried

THE WATERFRONT

Iourismonthewaterfront:SomeobservershavecalledPortland’sboomingtouristindustry“an empirebuiltonsand..."

Couldthepopularvoteandsentiment,assomehavesuggested,fora5-yearmoratoriumon nonmarinedevelopmentbeavoteagainsttheproposedGulfofMaineAquarium,sincetheSaco AquariumontheRoute1striphasalreadyproventhatyouneednowaterfronttoattractview¬ ersandexhibits?

InlightofthehistoricpassageofthewaterfrontordinanceonMay5,itwillbeinterestingtosee ifoneofthemorecacophonouselementsoftheworkingwaterfront—theMerrillscrapmetal loadingoperation—willreceivesupportfromtheCityofPortlandinitsbidtoappealtherecent D.E.P.decisiontolimititsactivities.

andoftenoverlappingdefinitions.Toa condominium developer today, the waterfrontbearsadifferentmenuthan itdidtotheblackbearwhopawedthe musselbedsatlowtide,animpressive sightinthewater,snoutalerttothe chevronsofgreyheronsarrowinglow acrossthehorizon.

There’sbeenalotofwaterunderthe MillionDollarBridgesincethen,and westillfaceawaterfrontinflux.Before wecanchartitsdestiny,wemust achievesomeequitablegoals.Certain quartersopttolobbyforthegrowthof heartyindustry...areturntothedaysof fish-soddentrawlersandthebigrusty trampsteamers,morningsingingwith thesoundofrendingmetal,airsourwith plugtobaccoandchum.You’dusea horsetosledgelumberoffCentral Wharf,settlethebilloflading,then elbowyourwayupthemudofExchange Streetforabowloffishheadchowder andseveralsoggyalesinthedankness ofaportsaloon.Bestlashtheboards downforthenightandsettlein.Blue darknesstotheEast,watercalm,storm rising....

Othersfeelthatunrestrainedresiden¬ tialandoffice/retailusedeservesaturn

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THE WATERFRONT

toharvestthebountyofthewaterfront. Businessisbusiness,andthere’smoney tobemadeswellingthemarketforlux¬ urywatersidecondominiumsandcheeky potteryboutiques.You’dwanttowear youryellowV-necksweaterandtool aroundtheharborintheBenetti,glint¬ ingvaingloriously....

ThentherearethearmchairretroFuturistsamonguswhoquietlyyearn forasomehowidealizedcity,witha dignifiedifnotEdwardianpace.Abal¬ anceofcommerceandcultureinaset¬ tingofinfectiouscharm.OnamoonsoakedJunenightyou’dwanttorunout totheEasternPromenadeinthecabrio¬ let,todrinkinthebayviewsandspecu¬ lateuponelusivepromiseofromancein theair.Youmighthearapianolaplay¬ ingsomewhere,breezyandintermit¬ tent,itsmelodyhappyandreassuringin thelunarglowofyoungsummer....

Onanightsuchasthis,theproblems wemustsurmounttogainabalanced futureforthewaterfrontdon'tseemso daunting.Afterall,theBritishfailedto

Speakingofblockingpublicviewsofthe waterfront,aglimpseofthewayPortlandused tobeasa‘real’workingwaterfrontrevealsthat thewaterfrontmaybemoreviewer-friendly thanever.Thisgrainelevator,whicharchitec¬ turallyresemblesthestateofKansastippedon end,wasoneof2hugemetalstructures locatedneartheGrandTrunkRailroadTer¬ minalonCommercialStreet.In1923itwas reportedthattheGrandTrunkgrainhandling facilitiesherecouldload100,000bushelsof grainperhourintoshipholds,and500,000 bushelswhenall5beltswereemployed.Inthe winter,bigshipsfromtheWhiteStarLine, CunardLine,andotherEnglishshippingcor¬ porationsunloadedcargoeshereandcarried

routeus,andsodidthefireworksof 1866,sothetug-of-warforuseofthe Portlandwaterfrontwillhopefullyfind eventualrestwithafair-mindedvictory forthecityandMaine.Largerbattles thanthishavebeenwononless.

Nightmaresrarelycometrue,and1 won’tlosesleepovermine.Thewater seemscomfortinglycloseasIextin¬ guishtheoillamp,thinkingmaybeitwill allworkoutasithasforcenturies.Or maybe I’ve been reading too much Melville.

Numbersswiminmyhead.Fiftyper¬ centofthebuildingspacealongthe Portlandwaterfrontisalreadynon¬ marine.Anadditional1millionsquare feetofofficeandcondominiumspaceis plannedfortheharbor.Ameretwo percentofthelandspaceinthecityison thewaterfront.Lobsterrollsseemtobe gettingsmallerandmoreexpensive... andwait!DidIseethedolphinstatuein frontofthePortlandRegencystarting toweep?

Maine Historical Society grainandcattleoverseas.Between18701924, the Grand Trunk Railway System, whichwaslatermergedintothegovernmentowned Canadian National Railways, con¬ structedandmaintainedthetwoelevators, whichcouldstore2.5millionbushelsofgrain. Portlandwasthenoneofthelargestgrain portsontheAtlanticcoast.Ittooka15-man demolitioncrewfromMontreal10monthsto tearthelastofthegreatelevatorsdownin 1973.Ithadstoodtherefor80years.A permittorazetheelevatorwasissuedafter completionofathree-weekrateradication program,whichcityofficialscalled“very satisfactory.”

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AT LARGE

Continuedfrom[rage23

McDonaldproducesalongwhistle, putsittohislips,andblowslustilyinto themike.Thesoundofatrainreverber¬ atesoffwallsandemptybeerbottles.

“Now,canyouhavefunwiththis,or what?Allyouneedistobuyoneof thosecoalminer’shelmets,putiton, turnonitslight,stickthiswhistleinyour mouth,blow,andsomelatenightrun towardsyourneighbor’sbedroomwin¬ dow.Somekinda#$%&*fun,orwhat!”

Theshowendswithanexplosionof

cheeringandclapping,andweare usheredoutthesideentrancetomake roomforthesecondshowthatevening. AsmyfriendandIwalktothecarwith sillygrinspastedtoourlaugh-weary faces,IthinkbacktowhatRandyHershoff,themastermindatWGANwho createdcomedynightattheRustic,said tomeconcerninghumor.Withanaca¬ demicair,heproclaimedhewasa “strongbeliever”inlaughterandthat suchshowsservedanimportantpsy¬ chologicalend.Theyassistindiminish¬

ingtensionscausedbysocialandper¬ sonalpressuresexperiencedincon¬ temporarysociety.Sure,Iguess1agree withRandy,butitisprettyhardtoget scholarlyoversomethingassimpleasa greattime.

Raoul’s Roadside Attraction, 865 Forest Ave., Portland, 775-2494. ComedyeveryThursdaynightat9. TheRustic,334ForestAve.,Port¬ land,772-9229.ComedyeverySatur¬ daynightat8and10.

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Continuedfrompage19

numbingaccuracy.1herearenoEntertainmentEnforcers tellingthisbandwhattodo;theycarefullypolicethemselves —keepitfamiliar,you’lllose’em.they’llleave,u'euon’t gethiredback,andthenI'llbestuckicilhaclosetfulof Spandexpants.Anotherinspirationaltrendistheassassina¬ tionofplayersbypreprogrammedparts,bassistsbeing particularlyfearfulfortheirlivelihoods.Butthat’showthey doitontherecord(CD),soitmustberight.Spontaneity? Whoneedsit?MTVRools!

TheclubsingeneralinPortlandaretoosmalltobe comfortableanddancem.orarejustseriouslyinterestedin theirmusic,fheeconomicspfthesituationaresimple—the coverchargeatthedoorpaystheentertainment,thehouse livesanddiesonitsdrinkandfoodsales.That'sit,people. Therefore,aclubwithatypical-for-Portlandcapacityof 90-150,comfortablysituated,withaccesstoadancefloor, isgoingtohaveaseriousproblempayingforqualityenter¬ tainmentunlesspatronsarewillingtogiveitupatthedoor. Whichtheyarenaturallyreluctanttodo,ingeneral.Soit’s justplaineasieroneveryoneconcernedtohireordinary bandsforordinarymoneywhichplayordinarymusicinan ordinaryfashion.

Ironically,whilethisapproachensuresarespectable-togoodlocallivelihoodforaband,itisthisveryconformity whichcondemnsyouintheeyesofthelargerindustry.The worldissearchingforalight,somethingdifferent,attrac¬ tive,exotic,inspired,genuine.Themusicbusinessreflects this—witnesstherecentsuccessofaBruceHornsby.A largesectionofthepublicisboredwithMTVandwill willinglyembraceanewperformeritperceivesasimpor¬ tant.Weneedsomeattitudeshere.Whatisdoneonadinky stageinPortland,Maine,does,infact,matter.Theyare Listening.Beingyourselfcouldverypossiblybethebest business.Anditturnsouttobethethingyou’rebestat, anyway.Besides,whatcanhurtit?Sitdownandwritea song,rehearseit,performit.Whatiseveryoneafraidof?

Sothesituationisnotthatthere’snoplacetoplayin Portland;infact,quitetheopposite:Bymanytowns’stand¬ ards,wehaveareasonablyactivenightlife,especiallyin summer.Whatwelackisaroomtogototobeconsistently influencedorinspiredorchallengedoreducated.It’sremin¬ iscentofculturalPortlandof20yeaisago;sure,thebiggest inthebusinessappearattheCivicCenter,butaspiringto thatcircleforayoungplayerislikeanaccountantstudying tobepresidentofIBM.That’saworldrestrictedtoa privilegedfew,forreasonslargely’beyondthecontrolofthe individual.Weneedavenueforthemediumacts,the FeeliesandQueenIdasandDelbertMcClintonsandHoo¬ dooGurusofthisworld—rock,acoustic,jazz,quality musicdeservingofalargeraudiencewhichinspiresand teachesbyitspersonalityinthefaceofragingCorporate Culture.Thesearethebandsthatwewanttosee,theones thatcareaboutspiritandsongcraftand,yes,theirpolitics. Butitwon’thappenonaregularbasiswithoutpayingthem tocomehere,whichmeansalargeinvestmentonsome¬ body’spart,aninvestmentwhichisbynomeansasure returninthismarket.

Thisissupposedtobeanentertainmentlistingasmuch asasoapbox,butthepointmustbemade.Weasconsu¬ mershavepower,wecanpatronizetheplacesthatare bookingthebandswewanttosee,wecansupportthe Continuedonpage34

REAL ESTATE

GOD’S LITTLE ACRE

WOULD

YOU PAY $10,000

FOR YOUR OWN PARKING SPACE?

It’safrenzy.Presagedbyastoried waveofpurchasesinBeaconHillin Boston,thehottestlittleticketsin realestatethissummerareparking spacesinPortland,yoursfor$10,000 andup.

Wehavebeenamusedtolearnthat wholenewportfoliosarebeingdeve¬ lopedlocally,featuringidenticalrowsof 9'x19'macadamexpanses,andthat youandyourheirscanbebackedby localbanksinthepursuitofthisnewest wrinkleinfreeenterprise.

“It’slikebuyingaC.D.,”laughscon¬ tractorJamesRossofFryeAssociates, oneoftheearlyinvestors,who,with

financingfromPeople’sHeritage,has snappedup10miniaturepiecesofPort¬ landonthefirstlevelofTheGateway parkinglotneartheSonestaHotel. Forever.

“Sincewedidn’tknowwhatPritham SinghwasgoingtodowithhisMuseum RowpropertyonFreeStreet,wethought itwasimperativethatwegetthese spots,”hereports.FryeAssociatesis thegroupthathasrestoredtheFrye Building(alsoonFreeStreetandhome toexotichamburgersbyRuby’sChoice).

“WenegotiatedwithTimO’Neillof HousingResources.TheBoulosCo. marketedthelots,butweapproached

themfirstwiththeproposal,”says Ross. At 10-percent interest, a $100,000investmenttopurchase10 parkingspacesover20yearscouldbe paidbackwithroughly$75/monthper space,atidyinvestmentinayearwhen peoplearepayingasmuchas$125/ monthtoparkdowntown.

Andinsidersfeelthisnewinvestment waveisgoingtosweepthroughthe ForestCity:Atpresstime,theChestnut Streetparkinggarage,thenewCasco BayFerryTerminalparkingauthority, andseveralotherswererumoredtobe pitchingwootodozensofprospective ownersofindividuallots.

Continuedfrompage32 promisinglocalbands,andifourmusicisimportanttouswe willbeloyalandvocalinoursupport.Thefactisthat Portlandholdstremendouspromiseasaregionalmusic center.Today,1987,thatpromiseisrealizedhereand there,inscatteredlocations.Whatfollowsisahighlyper¬ sonalandidiosyncraticguidetoPortlandnightlife,Summer Edition,bandsIconsiderworthseeing,placesIconsider worthgoingto.Remember,though,funiswhereyoufindit, labelswashoffintherain,anddon’ttakeyourselfsobloody serious,okay?It’sonlyRockandRoll.

Tomymind,thebandmattersmorethantheplace,so alwayscheckthelistingsfirst—StreetPotatoispretty comprehensive.Theclubsdohavetheirpersonalities, though.

TheFreeStreetPub—Located(moreorless)atthe cornerofMarginalWayandtheFranklinStreetarterial, thisplaceisatime-warpRockandRollPAI11Y.Metallic radiorock,95-percentcoverbands,theyknowwhattheir crowdlikes(ordemands,really).It’stheonlyroomintown setupwellforlivemusic.Bigdancefloor.

TheOldPortareaisadestinationinitself,whichcan makeitdifficultforclubsinotherpartsoftown;atthis writingtherearefourplaceswithregularlivemusic.Horse¬ feathersisatthetopoftheblockonMiddleStreet,and featuresentertainmentpointedlydifferentfromtherest. Mostnightsarequiet,acousticsolosorsmallgroups;week¬ endsaregivenovertobandsrangingfromthehotjazz fusionoffTiger’sBaku(June12-13)tosongwriterbands likeDevonsquareandPeterGaliway’sProof;Sunday afternoonsareforjazz.Canbeagoodlisteningroom,but nodancing.Goodfood.

MooseAlley,situatedunderSquireMorgan’sRestau¬ rantonMilkStreet,comprisessomeoftheliveliestand mostdenselypackedrealestateintown,witharguablythe widestselectionofentertainment.FromtheclassicR&Bof theRedLiteRevueandNeil&theNightlifes.andthe 1960s sounds of the Band That Time Forgot and Whitewalls,totheradiorockofKarenNasonand Legend,theMoosecoversitall.Watchforthissummer’s returnof8toTheBar.

TheOldPortTavernistheultimatedestinationformost peoplefromoutoftown—nocovercharge,hundredsof peopletobumpinto,andTop-40RadioRockersonstage. Thelocalhomeoftechno-pop,theOPT’sbestbandsare probablyBlockyard,amajorattractionfromBoston,and theMake,newtotheareafromupstateNewYork.Panic Stationisperhapsthebestofthelocals.ARealFratParty here,folks.

TheDryDockonCommercialStreetnexttoCascoBay Linesisupstairs,funky,kindarundown,andwelikeitlike that.BandsonThursdays,Fridays,andSaturdaysonly; themusicislessslick,morehomegrown,andwelikeitlike that,too.HomebasefortheKopterz,Jensons,Vitoand theGrooveKings,BrokenMen,MoodElevators,and N.Y.C.favesMr.Thing.TryShirley’sfooddownstairs, thensweatitoffupstairs.

DowntownPortlandhasbeendeadatnightforacouple ofyearsnowbutshowssignsofreawakening.Thanksto Geno’sonBrownStreet,nexttoHuShang,wehavea comfortable,low-keyspottoseealternativeandindepend¬ entbands,localandnational.Intheirfourthyear,Richard Juliobooksmorecreativelyonlessbudgetthananyone maybeinthehistoryoftheworld.Inanygivenweek, worthiesfromaroundthecountryappear,liketheSlickee BoysfromD.C.,theWildSeedsfromAustin,Cowboy JunkiesfromToronto,Boston’ssurfin’Beachmasters,the veteranNivaros,orstandbysliketheClassicRuins. Geno'sishomebasetolocal“indy”-typesGhostWalks, Talisman,theBrood,andfoundingfatherstheWild Hearts.It’sallhere:Bubbathrash,dirge,avant,‘60s.‘70s, neuro-,angst-,andart-rock,fromBangortoBuffalo. Thenthere’sRaoul’s.Okay,listenup.HeadoutForest Avenuefromdowntown,right?PastWoodford’sCorner (that’stheonewiththeDunkin’Donuts),overtherailroad tracks,Vimileontheright,andparkwitheveryoneelse. WednesdayisR&Bwiththeeight-pieceRedLiteRevue, horns,Motown,swing,you'llloveit.SundayisReggae NightwiththeDaniTribesmen,12or13peopleonstage, BobMarley,perfect.Inbetweenthere’scomedy,jazz,rock, blues—eclectic,youunderstand,occasionallynational names,goodfood,greatpool,andSharonZacchiniloved theatmosphere.Whatmorecanyouaskfor? Twonewplacesholdalotofpromiseandwillbegoing Continuedonpage37

LIQUIDASSETS

SHOCK OF THE NEW DAZZLING

NEW WINES SIZZLE AT BLACK POINT INN

characterofthesamegrapevariety grownindifferentpartsoftheGolden State.

BY DAVID SWARTZENTRUBER

£ £ [astisEastandWest,West” rangtrueuntilonerecent JafternoonatthelovelyBlack PointInninScarborough,whenfour winemakersfromseveralstunningnew winegrowing regions of California broughttheirexpertiseandwinesto coastalMaineforaspecialintroductory tastingandevaluation.

Thepresentationallowedtherestau¬ ranttradeandconsumerstoevaluate notonlythedifferentwinemakingstyle ofeachwinerybutthedifferenceinthe

StartinginanareanorthoftheNapa Valley, winemaker Bob Broman of Lake County’s Guenoc Winery (on landformerlyownedbyBritishactress LilyLangtry)emphasizedtheexperi¬ mentationthatgoesintomatchingthe localizedclimatetoeachparticular grapetypeandthedifficultyofdoing this,especiallywhenthereisnoexten¬ sivehistoryofgrapegrowing,asisthe casewithLakeCounty.

Guenoc’s1983CabernetSauvignon isaveryBordeaux-styledCabernet becauseGuenocgrowsalloftheclassic Bordeauxvarietiesandblendsthem intotheirCabernet.Includedinthese varietiesisPetiteVerdot,whicheven theBordelaishaveadifficulttimecul¬ tivating.

Ofparticularappealtomewasthe SauvignonBlanc’85,whichcarrieda NorthCoastappellation.Itwasblos¬ somywithouttheharshgrassinessof manytypicalSauvignons.

Farther south, Napa Valley was

Pamela A. Moulton

representedbyWalterRaymondofthe winery bearing his name and Greg UptionofFranciscanNapaValleyand alsotheirotherlabel,Estancia,whichis producedfromacreageinAlexander Valley,SonomaCounty.

Franciscanisawinerywhichhas alwaysproducedgoodwines,butwhich hasgonethroughseveralchanges. Recently,thewineryhasstabilized undertheleadershipofAgostinHuneeus,whohasmadeacareerofimprov¬ ingvariousCaliforniawineries.

AlthoughtheFranciscanCabernet SauvignonwasmadeinaclassicNapa Valleystyle,whatimpressedmemost weretheMerlotandChardonnay.Mer¬ lothasalwaysbeenalittlebrothertothe powerfulCabernetSauvignon,butwith theincreasingsophisticationofAmeri¬ canconsumersMerlotisfindingitsown nicheasawinewithasofteraccessibil¬ ityformany.

TheFranciscanMerlotremindedme ofseveralpowerfulMargauxfromthe 1983vintageinFrance.Itwasfilled withdeliciousblackcurrantflavor.

TheChardonnayhadauniquetaste

forCaliforniaChardonnaybecauseit remindedmanyofFrenchChabliswith auniqueearthinessandcrispfinish usuallyassociatedwiththeFrenchpro¬ duct.Averynicelyanduniquelystyled Chardonnay.

TheEstanciaproductlinealsopro¬ ducedbytheFranciscanwinerywas generallyregardedasaveryvalueorientedlinesomewhatlighterinchar¬ acterthantheNapaValleywines.

Representingafamilywithlong-term residenceinNapaValley,WalterRay¬ monddescribedtheevolutionofwine¬ makingstyleinthevalley.Hiswines representtheoaky,richstyleofChar¬ donnayandtheclassicclaret-styleof Cabernet.

TheRaymondfamilywasinvolved atonetimewiththeBeringerwinery. Afteraperiodofmanagingvineyard propertyforothersinNapaValley,the familyembarkedonitsownwineryand havemetwithcriticalsuccessfromthe outset.

Producingwineswithaltogetherdif¬ ferentsubtletiesisZacaMesa,from SantaBarbaraCountyonCalifornia’s centralcoast.

Centralcoastwinesgenerallyhavea big-shoulderedcharacterwithslightly higheralcohollevelsthantheirnorthern counterparts.Thewinesareextremely generousintasteandflavorandoften representexcellentvalues.

The Zaca Mesa wines were no exception.TheSauvignonBlancwas blendedwith16percentSemillionto yieldawinewithmorebodyandtexture. Ifoundthewinequiteappealing.

Ageneralconsensusofthoseattend¬ ingthetastingwasthatthewealthand diversityofCaliforniawinestyleshas onlybeguntobeknownontheEast Coast.Withthecontinuingdownward pressureonthedollarinEuropeanwine markets,Mainerscanlookforwardto anincreasingflowofmoreCalifornia wineseastward.

_UJI

Continuedfrompage34 strongbysummer.Dakar,25ForestAvenue(Performing ArtsCenterbuilding),willbethepermanenthomeofChris Clark’sUltimateDanceParty;shouldinvolvelivemusic too.AndtheTree,lowerDanforthStreetnearGiobbi’s, couldeasilybethebestclubintownsoon;funkyand elegant.OwnerHerbGideonplansonafullcalendarof alternativeandThirdWorldmusic,especiallyreggae. Checkitout.Also,manyofthebesteventsareprivate partiesattheSonestaBallroomorPortlandClub,ora CascoBayLinesboozecruise.Anddon’tforgetOld OrchardBeach.Butthat’sanotherarticle.Finally,the

CruisetheSteamboatRoutes ofPortland’sHarbor, BayandIslands

NeverPayRetailAgain!

Announcing the Grand Opening of our Wholesale Outlet. We aretheofficialoutletstoreforoneofNewEngland'sleadingfurnituredistributors, supplyingdozensofretailstoreswiththefinestbrandnamefurnitureavailabletoday. Nowyoucanbuytheidenticalmerchandisedirectfromthedistributorand

ON THE TOWN

bands.IfPortlandistodevelopasamusiccentertoany significantdegreeweneedlocaltalentcommittedtoexpos¬ ingthemselvestoawidermarket;Iwillprofilesixinthis article.Allaredeservingofsupport.

IheBroodmayl>ePortlandsbestknownbandnation¬ ally;ofcoursetheirfollowingislimitedmnumberstothe indy(independent)recordsantifanzinescircle,butitdoes existandsometimesyieldstheminterestingattention.They haveappearedonthreecompilations(theindyformalof choice)fromaroundtin*country,whichinturnresultedin theirfirstsolo45onPrimitiveRecordsfromMontreal,due tobereleasedsoon.Oneofthecompilationrecordsdes¬ cribesthemas“trulyAmerica’sfirstandforemostallgirlgarageband,astheyformedin1983."Ilisthiskindof pressandcareeractivitythat,combinedwithgoodsongs andstagepersona,areexactlywhatarecordcompanylikes Ioseewithayoungband.Ihef3Broodflhasalsodone somethingimportant—theyhavespecializedtheirsound. 1966Garageistheireraofchoice;thisfocusgreatlyhelps everyoneinvolvedinthechainofmarketingandpromotion. Abandthatknowswhoitisiseasiertosell.

GhostWalksexhibitsanothervirtueoftheindys—don’t wailforhelp,doityourself.GuitaristGeorgeRipleyhas perfectedtheartofresearchinganaudiencebymail.The bandhassoldhundredsofitsIndigtulLPthroughcorres¬ pondencewithindependent-record-releasefansworldwide. Directmailmarketinggetscontroversialandnon-commercialmusicintothehandsofthosewhowouldappreciate it.largelybypassingtherecordbusinessaltogether.Of course,thisapproachistimeconsumingandlargelynonprofitable,butformanygroupsistheonlywaytoreachthe marketplace.Andbytheway,folks,thishandhasbeen togetherforawhilenow,andtheyaregettinggood. Address:35PleasantStreet.Portland.

TheWildHeartsstarringKipBrownisoneofGeno’s originalbands;fouryearslatertheyarereadyforawide audience.RootsandrockabillyhavealwaysbeenKippy’s trademark,whichhecombineswithearly'70sJohnny Ibonderstoproduceauniquestyle.Ihelatesteditionofthe band,withFreemanSaundersbackondrums,mightbehis strongesteffortyet;watchforsomevinylsoon.Onlyat Geno’s.

IheTourquoiseBrothersisoneofthelocalbandsmost skilledatpromotingthemselves—theircowboyimageisa tadmisleading,however.?\ndtheir-15wasdisappointing —itjustdidn'tsoundgoodenough.But,hey,relax,these guyshaveitundercontrol;young,ambitious,andtalented. They’regoingtolx*aforceforawhile.Infact,betweenthe Turqs, the Don & Phil Show, and — oh no — the Toeheads,theycouldopenforthemselveswhereverthey toured.Staytuned.

TheKopterzrecentLPDancin’Disorderandsubse¬ quentairplay(andlocalvideo)havesolidifiedtheirposition asthetoplocalrecordingact.Thewords,music,singing andguitarplayingofJoeBrianablyassistedbytheother threeJoesisanappealingblendofpopinfluences,including theBeatles;theygetcomparedtoR.E.M.afairamount, too.Theseguysinfouryears(fiveyears?)havedoneabout everythingyoucandointermsofhardworkandself promotion.Nowtheyneedabreak.

Andlastly,theJensons.Okay.Iknowthisismyown band.ButifIworkedA&Rforanationalrecordcompany, I’dnab’emup,pronto.1realizethattheymaynotbeyour favoriteband,buttheyexhibitmorethananyotherlocal groupthenumberonerequirementforgreaterattention —theyareunique.You’dbesurprisedhowmanypeople involvedinthelocalmusicbusinessforgetaboutthis.I’m sorry,buttheonethingyoucan’taddontoabandis personality.TheJensonshaveasoundwhichisnotlikeall theotherstuffoutthere;alargepartofthecreditmustgoto theunseenmemberoftheband,lyricistRossIimberlake. whosefinelycraftedimagesgivethemusicanauralfocus thatlendsitselftorepeatedlistenings.Andisn’tthatwhat makingrecordsisallabout?Ihelong-awaitedreleaseof theirfirstlocalEPcouldfinallygettheJensonsandthearea themediaattentionitneedstoreallytakeoff.Youknow, after10yearsatthis,itskindofsillytobeoptimistic,but1 thinkPortland'sfinallycatchinguptotheambitionsofits residents.OnebandthatgetsnationalexposurefromPort¬ landwillmakeiteasierforthenext,whichopensitupfor localrecordingstudios,businessmanagement,agents, clubs...Youcangetearnedaway,justthinkingaboutit. Let’shopethisistheyearforallofusinvolvedinthemaking ofpopinPortland.

It can thread a needle, and bury it too.

Endowed with 154 horse¬ power,theAlfaMilanofairly flies.Butinaworldnotmade ofstraightaways,theMilano’s sheer power has been har¬ nessedintobrilliantdriver¬ sensitivecontrol.Bywayof example, its deDion indepen¬ dent suspension permits each wheel to respond to road surfaceconditions.Andits precision power steering obeys every nuance of the driver’sintentionsor corrections.

Consequently, road hazards become simply less hazardous.

The Milano’s near perfectweightdistribution makesitcapableofthreading itswayaroundthetightest roadcircumstance,andits pointingandholdingacuity distinguishitathighspeeds.*

Asforburyingthe needle...lettherebenodoubt, the Alfa Romeo Milano knows how and whom to pass.

Alfa Romeo docs not condone exceeding posted speed limits

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For Further Information, Call Or Write: Elisabeth Magnusson, 212 East Grand Arenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064. Tel. (207)934-7677

Integrity and Results

Contractrepresenta¬ tionforyou—theclient— whetheryoubuy,sell, orleaserealestate.Also couselingandsecond opinions.15yearsexperi¬ enceinallaspectsof realestate.

Dick Perkins Realtor S’ Counselor

Restaurantsarelistedasacourtesyinthissectionasspace allows.Ioguaranteeinclusionofyourlistingforthenext year,callPortlandMonthlyClassifieds.154MiddleStreet, Portland.Maine04101.(207}775-4339.

Alberta’s. 21PleasantStreet,Portland.Alltheselections fromAlberta’sever-changingmenuarecookedtoorder overtheirmesquitecharcoalgrill.Steaks,seafood,and butterfliedlegoflambareaccompaniedbyhomemade soups,breads,anddesserts,including“DeathbyChoco¬ late.”Lunch,dinner,Sundaybrunch.Majorcreditcards. 774-5408.

The Armory.20MilkStreet,Portland.ThePortland Regency’sfirst-classhotelrestaurant.77-4200.

TheBaker’sTable.434ForeStreet,Portland.Relaxed bistrobeneaththeOldPortBakehouseoffersdiverseEuro¬ peancooking—veal,fish,tournedos.homemadechowders, soups,stews,includingbouillabaisse,areavailable,aswell asfreshbreadsandpastriesfromupstairs.Localartists exhibitoccasionally.Majorcreditcards.775-0303.

TheBlueMoon.425ForeStreet,PortlandPortland’snew jazzclubrestaurantfeaturesIejazzhot—live—nightlyas wellasanentertainingdinnermenu.Astrongadditionto Portland’snightlife.871-0663.

Boone’s.CustomHouseWharf,Portland.They’vebeen servinganextraordinaryrangeofseafoodsince1898. Portlandmemorabiliaandantiquesaredisplayedinthe heavy-beameddiningroom,andtherearenightlyspecials inadditiontotheextensivemenu.Lunchanddinnerdaily, allmajorcreditcards.774-5725.

Cafe Always. 47MiddleStreet,Portland.OneofPort¬ land’snewestrestaurants.Featuresstrong,ambitiousmenu andaromanticatmosphere.774-9399.

ChannelCrossing.23FrontStreet,SouthPortland.An elegantrestaurantwithanelegantviewofPortlandfromits perchonthewater,feriakisirloinisafavorite,asis“Fresh Catch,”theveryfreshestfishavailableeachday.Lunch anddinner.Sundaybrunch,majorcreditcards.799-5552. Christopher’s.688ForestAvenue,Portland.Greekwines canbehadwiththebakedlambintomatosauceandother Greekspecialties.Philopiesandstuffedgrapeleaveslead crisplyintothefreshbaklavaandotherdesserts.Arelaxed, spaciousrestaurant.LunchanddinnerMondaythrough Friday,dinneronlyonSaturday.ClosedSunday.Major creditcards.772-6877.

DeliOne.106ExchangeStreet,Portland.Spinachand sausagepie,pasta,omelets,delisandwichesareamongthe internationalattractionsinthiscozyplace.Thesoupsand chowdersareintriguingaswell.Asunnypatiowhenseason permits.Breakfast,lunch,anddinner.Sundaybrunch.Art exhibitsbylocaltalent.MC.V.772-7115.

DiMillo’sFloatingRestaurant.LongWharf,Portland. Uniquefloatingrestauranthassteaks,seafood,Italiancui¬ sine.ribs,and,always,lobster.Finewines,nightlychef’s specials,andentertainment.Lunchanddinnerdaily.Sun¬ daybrunch.Majorcreditcards.772-2216.

DockFore.336ForeStreet,Portland.Dailyspecialsinthis cozyOldPortsettingincludeburgers,quiches,soups, chowders,freshfish,steamers,andmussels.Lunchand dinner.772-8619.

TheMaddAppleCafe.23ForestAvenue,Portland.An intimateAmericanbistrolocatedinthePortlandPerform¬ ingArtsCenter.Offeringachangingmenu;specialties includeCarolinaChoppedPorkBBQ.ShrimpRemoulade, tournedosMarchandduVin,andBananasFoster.Lunch anddinner.Majorcreditcards.774-9698.

TheSeamen’sClubRestaurant,375ForeStreet,Por¬ tland.FinestpurelyFRESHSeafood&Aged&PrimeRibs atreasonableprices.PortlandTelegram: “BEST CHOW¬ DER AWARD" &PortlandMonthlyMagazine: “BEST OVERALL RESTAURANT”. Serving Clam & Fish Chowder,FinestFreshRoastTurkey&othersandwiches. Lunch&candlelitdinners,anddrinksalldayfrom11am until1am.ConferenceRoomsavailableFREEfrom20to 150.Hugearchedwindowsoverlookingtheharbor.His¬ toricbuildingwitholdtraditionforFineService.Allcredit cardsaccepted.Freshhomemadebread&rollsbaked daily.Homemadedesserts,pecanpies,bakedIndianpud-

SelectedAreaRestaurants

dint’,cheesecakes,chocolatecakes.&GreenMountain coffees,espresso.&cappucino.772-731I. Sid'sSave-A-StepDeli.161MiddleStreet,Portland.Not tosingleoutasidelight.butSid’smustardisthebestintown.

Iterasesthememoryofanypreviousmustardyou’veever reveredandZ-bartsyourtaslebudsinamannerthatmakes youfeelasifyou’vebeenhitbyaMacktruck—youdust yourselfoff.smiling,minuteslater,stunned.Afavoritewith Portland’slegal,realestate,advertisingoffices,etc.,Sids

REVIEW

Ifeaturesanumberofbreads,dressings,andmealsforany palate—werecommendtheveggiepockets,outstanding soups,andhotpastrami*.Histdeliveryordescendintoa prettydiningareasetinthe-lobby.Lunchonly.7757141.

THISTLE’S CONTINENTAL CUISINE DELIGHTS DOVER-FOXCROFT

tisalwaysapleasuretodineata restaurantwhosechefshavetrained inwholefoodscookerybeforetak¬ inguptheartandartificeofhautecui¬ sine.Theunderlyingaestheticofthose earlierendeavorsmanifestsitselfin ways which are seldom showy (and thereforeeasilyandoftenoverlooked) butwhichnonethelessformthefounda¬ tionuponwhichthespectacleofthe mealisstaged.Onesuchrestaurantis Thistle’s in Dover-Foxcroft: When proprietorsDaleandLeslieThistlecame tothepresentestablishmentfromThe BlueGoose,itsnatural-foodsprogeni¬ tor,theybroughtwiththemareverence forvegetablesandthecareandpatience requiredtomakeanexcellentloafof wholewheatFrenchbreadandaten¬ dencytowardthesimpleand‘whole’ sideofclassicalFrenchandItalian cooking.Oneofthefruitsofthissynthe¬ sis—ofgivingattentionequallytothe supportingplayersandtheleads—is thattheoverallexperienceofdiningis rathermorelikeagoodplotcontinu¬ ouslyunfoldingthanaseriesoftab¬ leauxbridgedintheintervalsbyboring saladsandblandbread.

ThemenuatThistle’sconsistsof6 appetizers(LobsterBrioche,asouffle oftheday)and10entrees(Tournedos ‘Basil,’porktenderloinwithanAmarettoandapricotsauce,shrimpsim¬ meredinacourtbouillonandthen baked in seasoned crumbs) and is broadenoughtosatisfymosttastes, withthepossibleexceptionthatallof theseafoodonthemenuisshellfish (althoughontheeveningofmylastvisit

there,thespecialwasAtlanticSalmon servedwithalemon/herbbutter).

ThecheddarsouffleIorderedasa starterwastheonlysouffle1haveever beenservedwhichwasn’tover-salted. Inflavorandtextureitwasverydelicate andhadmorethansufficientvolumeto makeitscollapsedramatic.

Although1amordinarilysuspicious ofsurf‘nturf-typeentrees,Iorderedthe Tournedos‘Basil,’asauteedtournedos

andcarrotsservedwithahomemade Russiandressingthattastednothingat allliketheketchup/mayocomboithas beenhomogenizedinto,andlotsof Thistle’swonderfulbread.

Itisapparentfromtheselectionand fromtherateatwhichthecustomers wereorderingthemthattheThistles considerdessertsatoppriority,although thetrayleanedheavilytowardthe chocolatesideofthespectrum.Iordered Delice au chocolat Chambourd, an extremelyrichconfectioncastina flutedmoldandservedwithafram¬ boise-flavoredraspberrypuree.

BY DENNIS GILBERT

surroundedbyshrimp.Bearnaisefor thebeef,atartcompoundbutterforthe shrimp.Theshrimpwerefine,butthe beef,cutfromtheheartofthefilet,was cookedinthewaythatproducesthe contrastofflavorsandtexturesmost desirableinmeatcookery:awarm, soft,rich,redcenterlyingbeneaththe slightlyburntcrunchofthecaramelized surface.

BetweenthesecoursesIenjoyeda livelysaladofred-leaflettucewith alfalfasprouts,redandgreenpeppers,

Thistle’sislocatedonMonument Squareinahandsome,bow-windowed 19th-centuryhouse.Althoughoneof thefoursmalldiningroomsisalittle crowded,theothersarecomfortable enoughtoaffordacertainmeasureof intimacy.Theservicefromthekitchen staffisbrisk;fromthediningroomstaff, neitherstiffnorsyrupy,butquiteperson¬ able.Onmylastvisitourwaitresswas notthoroughlyinformedaboutsomeof theparticularsandhadtoconsultthe chefonceortwice,butsinceshedidn’t letitbotherher,Ididn’tletitbotherme.

Becausethedutiesoftherestaurant revieweraretopointoutweaknessesas wellasstrengths,Iregisterthefollowing intheinterestofcredibility.Thistle’sis oneofthosesmall,chef(s)-ownedres¬ taurantswhichareordinarilybestbets forbothinventionandexecution.While thefoodispreparedandservedwith greatcare,Ithinkthemenumight benefitfromalittlemoreimagination.

FICTION

Mysister’shusbandByroncalled andaskedhowIwouldlikeit ifhestayedacoupledaysat ourplace.Itwaslateafternoonand rainingagain.We’dhadrainfordays —winterrain,withfine,whitishdrops. Therewassomeflooding,treeswere down,thepowerhadgoneoffacouple times.MywifeEmilyhadphonedten minutesearliertotellmetheoillightin thecarwasblinkingandshewasata Starstationgettingitchecked.1was homewalkingaroundinredcotton socksandthinkingaboutstartingafire whenhecalled.

“How about it?” Byron said. He soundeduncertain,IguessbecauseI’d waitedtoolongtosayyes.

Isaid,“Sure,it’sfine.IsJanieO.K.?” 1waslisteningtothetrafficintheback¬ ground,tryingtofigurewherehewas.

HesaidJaniewasgreat,andnothing intheworldwasgoingon,nothingto worryabout,andhewasstandingin frontofaJr.Martandthoughthe’dbe overrightawayandfillmeinonthe wholedeal.ThenhehungupbeforeI couldsayI’dbelookingforhim,which iswhatI’dplannedtosay.

MysisterpickedByronoutinaDal¬ lasbartenyearsago,thenshemarried

him.Frommypointofviewitwasrea¬ sonsunknown,butshedidn’taskme. He’safurrytype,ifyouknowwhat1 mean—furryhair,furrybeard,furry backyouseewhenyougoswimming withhim,whichIdidonce,acoupleof yearsago.He’sbeadytoo,aroundthe eyes,whichisbadifyou’refurry.It’sa bad combo. I don’t know why he doesn’tgetsomekindoftreatment.By nowhedoesn’thaveasteadyjobandhe watchesalotofoldmoviesonTV,and,

tohearJanietellit,whichIdoinour weeklyphonecalls,he’snotalotoffun forher.

Ittookhimtwentyminutestomy backdoor,andhewashappytoseeme, whichmademefeelguiltyforwhatI’d thoughtabouthimintheinterim.

“How-dee,”hesaidwhenIopened thedoor.Heslappedmeontheshoulder, thenheldhishandthere,pushingalittle soI’dgetoutofthewayandlethimand hisbag,whichwaslikeasmallfuton, intomykitchen.

Igotoutoftheway.“Comeonin.”I slappedhisbackacoupleoftimes. “Hey!You’reawetboy,aren’tyou?”

Hegrinned.“I’mMr.Wet—where’s Em?”

HecalledmywifeEm.Itwashis invention,nobodyelseevercalledher Em.Isaid,“She’satagasstationon EastBilbo—cartrouble.”

“Goddamn!”hesaid,makingaface likeyou’dmakeifthirtypeoplejustdied inthecrashofalightplaneatO’Hare, and you were watching it on CNN. You’dwatchthelivecoveragewiththis face.

Hewassquishingaroundthekitchen insoakedrunningshoes,graywithpur¬ pledecorations,somebrandIdidn’t

“Holdon,”Isaid.“Freeze.Don’t move.”

“No.Hell,Igotit,”hesaid,liftingthe foot,sprayingbrowncandycrystals around.Rightthenthephonerang.He pointedatit.“Incoming,”hesaid. “That’saprettyphone,too.Thata decoratormodel?”

Itwasayellowtelephone.Itcame withthehouse,orsomething.OrEmily wantedit.Idon’treallyremember.

Emilywascallingtotellmethecar wasO.K.“Itwaslowonoil,aquart low.Therewasn’tanyonthestickwhen hepulleditoutthefirsttime,soIfigured I’dtorchedit,buttheguysaysthenew onesareallthatway,Imeanaquart lowandtheyshownothingbetween thosetwolittlecreases—youknow whatI’mtalkingabout?”

“Byronishere,”Isaid.

“Byronwho?”shesaid.“Youmean ByronByron?”

“Yes,”Isaid.

BythistimeByronhimselfhadmade itacrossthekitchenandcapturedthe receiver.“Byrontotower,Byronto tower,”hesaid.“Comeinwithafriend. What’sshaking,Em?”

Hegavemeagrinandablack-eye wink,thenunwrappedaTootsieRoll

BY FREDERICK BARTHELME

recognize,andhewasalreadyatthe cabinets.“So,”hesaid,yankinga Ziplocbagofcandy—M&Ms,Tootsie RollPops,orangeplaypeanuts—out ofthebreadcabinet.“Hey!Jackpot!” Helaughedandtestedthebagtoseeif theZiplocwasworking.Itwasn’t,sowe gotcandyonthecounter,someonthe floor.Hebenttogetthestuffonthe floorandsteppedonaTootsieRollPop thatsplinteredandshotoutfromunder hisshoe.“Oops!”hesaid.

Pophe’dsaved,aredone,andplopped itintohismouthashetalked.Aftera minuteheputhishandoverthemouth¬ pieceandsaid,“I’msorryaboutthis messhere,Billy.Justlemmesayhello tomysweetEmandI’llcleanherright up.”Thenhescreweduphisfaceasif thinkingaboutthat,jabbedaforefinger intothetelephonemouthpiece,and said,“Themess,Imean.Nother.”

Inoddedmyunderstandingandwent forpapertowels,listeningtoByron’s

endoftheconversation.

“You’retooworriedallthetime,Em. You’reoffthebeam,here.Yougotto staylow,floparoundwiththerestofus. Huh?Hey—butit’sgreattobehere!I mean,I’mlookingforwardtositting downwithyou,youknow”—hegave megoodfrontteeth,laughingatthe jokehewasmaking—“atthedinner table.Maybeyoucancookmeupthat chickenthingyoudo,knowtheoneI’m

WhenEmilygotbackanhour laterByronwasonthecouch inapairoftennisshortsand aredpoloshirtreadingourmovies-onTVbook.Hewassmokingathincigar withawoodenmouthpieceandtalking tonobodyinparticular."Mr.Arkadin,” hesaid.“Amust-see—youeverseen thatone,Em?”

Shewentrightbyhimintothekitchen andstartedunpackinggroceries.“Saw

it,”shesaid.“Startswithanunmanned aircraftcirclingaforeigncapital,right? There’salotofstuccoinit.”

Byrondroppedthebook,swiveled offthesofa,andtrailedherintothe kitchen.“Yougetmeasurprise?”he said.

“Chicken,”shesaid.

Hedidaquickcircle,jammingboth fistsintotheaironeaftertheother, then danced around in a touchtalking?Orangesand everything. Brown sugar?Boy,I’vebeen missingbrownsugar.”

He took off wet clotheswhilehetalked. The coat, then the shirt.Hegottheshoes offandwasunbuckling hisbeltwhenhestarted doingkissesintothe phoneandpointedat itwithhisfreehandto askifIwantedtotalk somemore.IsaidI didandtookthephone backfromhimwhile hegotdowntohis shorts.

“Hi,Emily,”Isaid. “It’smeagain.”

“What’shedoing?” she said. “What’s hetherefor?”

“Helooksgreat,”I said.“Wetrightnow, andnaked,butgood. Hehassomekindof hairattitude,butIcan’t reallytell.It’swet— helookslikeapop star.”

“Popstar?”Byron said.Hepulledthe suckeroutofhismouth andyelled,“Wegot designerhair.Wegot seventy-fivebucksinto thegamerightnow.” Hepointedthered ballonthestickathis head.“Thelatest,”he yelled,leaningsoclose tothephonethatI couldsmellhisbreath. “Thehair’shot!”

“It’shot,”1saidto Emily.

“Itweepsforchick¬ en!”heyelled.

FREDERICK BARTHELME

FrederickBarthelmeistheauthorofacollectionofstories,Moon Deluxe,andtwonovels,SecondMarriageandTracer.Oneofthe mostimaginativewritersinthelanguage,Barthelme,whosework hasappearedinTheNewYorker,Fiction,Playboy,SouthCarolina Review,NorthAmericanReview,andChicagoReview,teacheswriting attheUniversityofSouthernMississippi,wherehealsoeditstheMissis¬ sippiReview.“Sis,”previouslyunpublishedinamagazineandselected forPortlandMonthlybytheauthor,isappearinginbookstoresevery¬ wherethissummerinSimonandSchuster’ssparklingnewcollectionof Barthelmestories,Chroma.

“FrederickBarthelmeisdoingforthe’80swhatRaymondChandler didforthe’30s.Hedoesforthe7-ElevenwhatEdwardHopperdidfor theall-nightdiner.”—TheBaltimoreSun.

IllustrationbyJohnDavisBidwell.

down-stylefrenzy— kindofMarkGastineauoutofMartha GrahamviaBobMar¬ ley.“Killerchicken,” hesaid.“Ieatthe wings, I break the back,yaya!”

Emilywasn’tmoved. Shehadonhercareer¬ womanoutfit—tightly creasedclothes,full¬ facemakeup,jewelry —allslightlyde¬ bloomedbytheweath¬ er.

“And...that’snot all,”shesaid,pulling apackageofMallomarsoutofasack. Shedidalittleflourish withthecookies,then spunthemontothe countertopnextto Byron.“FortheMallomarman.Youatea hundredofthesein onenight,didn’tyou?” She turned to me. “Didn’tJanietellus heateahundredof theseonetime?They werefightingorsome¬ thing?Remember?” 1shrugged,although 1didrememberand1 don’t know why I didn’tjustsayyes. Byrongroanedand rubbedhisstomach. “God, I was crazy then.Imust’vebeen nuts.Shewaskilling me about something orother,andthendid thedinnerthing,you know —” He did a mincingimitationof mysisterthatmade herlooklikeabadTV homosexual. “Like whatdid1wantfor

FICTION

dinnerrightinthemiddleofthishuge brawlwewerehaving,andIsaidI wantedMallomarsandwentouttothe storeandboughtaboutfortypackages andbrought'embackanddumped'em alloutonthetableandsatthereeating allnightwhileshepunchedaroundon asaladwithatinyfork.Nextdayshe toldmeIhadthestinkofMallomars aboutme.”

“Youwerelookingfortrouble,”Emily said.

Hegrinnedather,somethingthat wassupposedtobeconspiratorial,I guess,andsaid,“Stillam.”Hemust’ve thoughtthelook1gavehimwasdisap¬ provingorsomething,becausethenhe laughedandsaid,“Notreally,Billy.1 justsaidthattobeinteresting.Em understands,don’tyou,Em?”

Shewasbusyworkingonthechicken, herbacktous.“Sure,”shesaid.“You’re justtalking,right?”

“Right,”Byronsaid.“I’mabig talker.”

“That’swhatwehear,”Emilysaid. Shehasawayofsayingthingslikethat andmakingthemseem,ifnotfriendly, atleastnotterriblyhostile.

1smiledatByron,andhesmiled back,thesamesmileasbefore,un¬ touched.“Well,”hesaidtome.“Isup¬ posewe’rewonderingwhatI’mdoingin theseparts.”Hetookoutanewcigar andlitup,rollingthethingbetweenhis fingerswhilehemouthedthesmoke.In aminuteheletitoutandsaid,“That’sa goodquestion.I’mgladyouaskedme that,Billy.Honest.”

Hedidn’tgeta chancetotell usthenbe¬ cause the doorbell rang.Iwenttogetit anditwasJanie,my sister,standingonthe stooplookinglikeshe’d walkedoverfromtheir place.Shehadonthis hugecoat,oneofthose thick,tan,winterjobs, goodaroundChrist¬ mastime,anditwas soaked,andherhair lookedasifthey’djust finishedskullsurgery onherandweretry¬

ing to obscure the evidence. 1 huggedher,butthenwegotinthemid¬ dleofthishugandshewouldn’tletgo, soIstoodtherelookingattherainfal¬ lingofftheedgeoftheroofandthinking thatI’dprobablyliketohughermoreif sheweren’tsoakingwet.Ifeltguiltyfor thinkingthat,andforwishingsheand Byronwouldjuststayoverattheir houseandhavetheirfightsalone,like everybodyelse,andthenshesaid,“I loveyou,Billy.Ireallyloveyou.”

“Metoo,”Isaid,thinkinghowun¬ comfortable it was when somebody saystheyloveyouwhenyou’renot expectingit,orwhenyoukindoftakeit forgrantedandwishtheywouldtoo, andIwonderedhowmanytimesinalife yousay“Metoo”tosomebodywhohas justsaidtheyloveyouandthenthink thatitisn’twhatyoumean,thatyou loveyourselftoo,thatwhatyoumeanis thatyoulovehertoo,orhim,butthat thereisn’tanyquickwaytosaythat, notintwowords,anyway.That’sthe kindofthingIthinkaboutallthetime— that,andwonderingwhattheotherper¬ sonisthinkingabout,iftheotherperson isthinkingthesamething.“Byronis here,”Isaid.Iwastryingtowedgemy wayoutofthehug,butshewashaving noneofit.

“Oh,Christ,”Janiesaid,andshe startedcrying.Itwasaveryquietkind ofcrying,shewasn’tbawling,justkind ofstandingtherewithherarmslocked aroundmeandjerkinglikesomekindof mechanicaldevicehavingtakenleave ofitssenses.Iwastryingtofigurehow toplaythething.Nobody’dtoldme anything—Imean,Iknewwehada fightgoingon,butthat’sallIknew—so Iwaswonderingwhat Ishoulddonextwhen Emilycameoutofthe kitchenwithherfist inside of a cleanpluckedthree-pound chicken.

Shesaid,“Whois it,Billy?”

“It’sJanie,”Isaid. “MysisterJanie.” Byron stuck his headoutofthekit¬ chen.“Why,howdee, littleflower.Howyou doing?Youfollowing mearoundthecoun¬ tryorsomething?”He movedacrossthefoyer towardusasiftokiss

her,butshewasstillhuggingmeandhe pulledupshort.“Oh,”hesaid.“Ifor¬ got.We’rehavingatiff,right?”

Janienoddedathim,splashingher hairaround.“Wewere.Thatwasa coupleofdaysago.Beforeyouleft withouttellinganybodyintheworld whereyouweregoingoranything.”

“IslippeddowntoTampa,”hesaid. “Iwaslookingaround.Checkingitout. IwasdowntherewithBruceWeitz.”

Shelookedathim,asteadylook, thenrolledhereyestowardtheceiling. “O.K.1giveup.Who’sthat?”shesaid. “Belker,”Emilysaid.“OnTV.The rattylittleguyonHillStreet."

“Onlyheain’tratty,”Byronsaid. “Helookslikeaboutazillion.Hehad shoesonI’dbehappytodrivearound in.Hadthisjacketmust’vedroppedhim twothousand.Genuinechromethread inthere.Really.”

“Byronhungersforthehighlife,” Janiesaid.She’dfinallyletmegoand hadstartedhuggingEmily,whocould onlyhugbackone-handedbecauseof thechicken.Youcouldtellitwasboth¬ eringher.Firstshetriedkeepingit behindherback,thenshetriedatwohandedhugusingjustthearmofher chickenhand,butthatdidn’twork, either,sothechickenwaskindofdang¬ lingoutthereattheendofherarm, thereatherside,asshehuggedJanie.

“Thatain’tit,”Byronsaid.Hewas scratchinghisstomachagain.“Theguy lookslikeaSwiss,knowwhatI’msay¬ ing?Liketheyscrubhimwithwhite brickseverymorning.Iaskedthedesk girlwhathewasdoingthereandshe saidshedidn’tknow,butthatshedidn’t thinkhewas shooting,likeI’msome kindofrube’sgonnagetinthewayifthe man’sthere shooting, know what 1 mean?”

“Hedidn’tlikethedeskclerk,”Janie said.

IwasworriedaboutEmilyandthe chicken,soIputanarmaroundJanie andgaveheralittletug,tryingtobreak upthething,andIsaid,“Well,it’slike oldhomeweekaroundhere.Noclerks.” Ididanothertug,thistimetowardthe kitchen,figuringthatevenifIcouldn’t getthemapart,atleastinthekitchen Emilywouldhaveachanceonthebird. Therewereacoupleoflittlespotsof waterybloodonthetilethereinthe foyer,butitwasn’ttoobad.

Janietookthisopportunitytostart

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FICTION

Continuedfrompage44 huggingmeagain.Shegotmearound theneckwithonearmsoshewouldn’t havetoletgoofEmily.

“Hell.”Byronsaid.“Thisgirlwas mainline,onlyshewasmainline Tampa,whichislikeagum-wrapper townoutofReno.Imean,Fitzgerald would’vedonestuffonher.Anyway —”hewaskeepinghisdistance,look¬ ingatthemoldingaroundtheopening betweenthedenandfoyer“—there ain’tanythingthereoverfourfeettall,

knowwhatImean?”

“No,Byron,”Janiesaid.“Wedon’t know what you mean. Nobody ever knowswhatyoumean.”Shefinally gaveuponEmily,thoughshestillhad me,andshepulledmeovertothefront doorsowecouldgethershinyblack duffelbaginoffthestoop.Thisbagsaid “Players,”likethecigarette,onthe side.“Carsaretallerthanfourfeet, right?”shesaidwhenwegotthedoor shut.“Don’ttheyhavecarsinTampa?”

“Sure,”hesaid.“Theygotone.But

it’sthistruckGeorgeBarrisworked overinthefifties.Threefooteight.”

Shegavehimanimpatientsmile.

“WhatImeanis—”Byronstartedto say,butassoonashe’dstartedshe wavedhimoff,whichgavemeachance togetfree,soIdid.

“Wedon’tcare,”shesaid,lookingat me.“Idon’tcare,anyway.”Shepointed toEmilyandme.“Maybetheycare, butIdon’tcarewhatyoumean.You couldmeananythingintheworldandI wouldn’tcare.”Sheshoulderedthewet Playersbag.“Ihadtowearthiscoat becauseIdon’thavetherightkindof coattowearatthistimeoftheyearin therainbecausemyhusband’snotsuch aknockoutprovider,ifyouknowwhatI mean.”

“Iboughtthecoat,”Byronsaid,talk¬ ingtomeandEmily,whohadbacked upallthewaytothekitchendoor.

“Yeah,”Janiesaid.“Mywedding present.”

“Thereshegoes,”hesaid.“She’s starting.”

“Letmegetthischickenputaway,” Emilysaid,wavingthechickenhandat me.“Whydon’tyougetJaniesettled andthenwellallmeetinthekitchenfor adrink.”

“Shedoesn’tdrinkanymore,”Byron said.“She’sintohealth.Ifitdoesn’t havespinachinitshewon’ttouchit.”

“Iknowthisgreatspinachdrink,”I said.

Allthreeofthemshookheadsatme. IshruggedandgrabbedJanie’sbag. “Let’sgo,sis,”Isaid.“We’llputyouin thebedroom.”

“Hangon,”Byronsaid.“That’snot mybedroom,isit?”

“Youcanhavetheoffice,”Isaid. We’dmadethethirdbedroomintoan officethatEmilyusedathome.Weput theoldcouchinthere.

“Sowhataboutmystuff?”hesaid.“I gotitinthebedroomalready.You gonnaputherstuffintherewithmy stuff?”

Emily, who had gone around the cornerintothekitchenandwhohadthe waterrunninginthesink,cameback outdryingherhandsonthreefeetof papertowelandsaid,“Sowhat’sthe deal?Theluggagedoesn’tgetalong either?”

Afterdinnerwestayedatthe linoleum-toppedtableEmily hadinsistedwebuywhenthose

thingswerepopularacoupleofyears ago.Wesataroundthistable,thefour ofus,andstaredatthings.Everybody wasstaringinadifferentdirection,like peopleinoneofthoserealisticsculpture setupsthatyoualwaysseein Time magazinestoriesonmodernart.Byron waswatchingsomethingoutthewin¬ dowoverthesink.Janiewasplaying withblueberriesinabowlinfrontofher. Emilywasreadingtheadsinthebackof aboatmagazine,andIwasstaringat thethreeofthem,eachinturn.We’d finishedandwewerejustsittingthere.

Janiesaid,“Wheredothesethings comefrom,blueberries?Imean,where dotheygrow?”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Byron said.“Theygrowontrees.Blueberry trees.”

“Bushes,”Emilysaidwithoutlook¬ ingup.

“Youmeanwhatstate?”1said.

“No,”Janiesaid.“1meanthow.1 mean,I’veneverseenablueberry grow.”

“Oh,that’sgreat,”Byronsaid.“Spent allyourtimewatchingwatermelons,did you?”

“I’vegotit,”Emilysaid.Shecircleda spotonthemagazinepagewithaDayGlopinkmarker.“Thisisit—twentyeight-footBayliner.Cheap.”

“That’syourK-Mart,Em,”Byron said.“You’llbewantingaBertram,be my guess. You can really hump a Bertram.”

Janiesaid,“I’msurethat’sjustwhat shewantstodo.”

“Lalala,”Byronsaid.

“Whydon’tyouleaveheralone,” Janiesaid.“Ifthat’swhatshewants, that’swhatshewants.”

“Oh,sure,”Byronsaid.“Listento MissGenuineFur-LinedDowny-Soft They-Said-So-on-TVtheThird.”He wascheckingtheskinonhisarms,

twistinghisarmsforwardandpulling theskinaroundhisbiceps.“Dopeople getwartsatmyage?I’vebeenfinding splotches.”Heturnedaroundtoshow mewhathewastalkingabout.“See that?”hesaid.“Thatlookawartin embryo?”

Therewasn’tanythingthere—alit¬ tlesundotorsomething.Isaid,“Doesn’t lookbadtome.”

“Maythishousebesafefromwarts,” Janiesaid,makinganuglyfaceat Byron.“He’sworriedabouthisage. He’sgoingtobeforty-onethisyearand he’sgettingallthesetinyagespots. They’reeverywhere,they’reallover him.”

“She’shappyaboutit,”hesaid.

“1don’tknowwhat’swrongwithit,” Janiesaid.“Yourlife’shalfover.So what?”

Hedroppedhisfaceintoonehand, coveringhisclosedeyeswithfingers andshakinghishead.“1wasforcedto marryher,wasn’t1?”Hejerkedupand smiledatme.“Nooffense,Billy.She’sa wonderfulwoman.It’sapersonality thing.Shewantsmetobeaninja.”

Janiedidarealsourlook.“That’sa jokeaboutmewatchingkaratemovies onTV.”

“Whatthehellisaninja,anyway?” Emilysaid.“I’vebeenhearingninja-this andninja-thatforfiveyearsandI’vegot noclue.Theywearalotofblack, right?”

“Atleastmybrotherdoesn’twhimper allthedamntimebecausehe’snotDan Pastoriniorsomebody.Andhecan keepajob,”Janiesaid.“Hehasa career.Hehasahouse—youknow they’vebeeninthishouseforeight years?Andhe’sonlythirty-something.” Sheturnedtome.“Whatareyounow, Billy?Thirty-six?”

“Eight,”1said.

“He’ssteady,”Janiesaid.“That’s whatit’sabout.”

Byrongotup,adjustingtheshorts again.“Iknowthatitis,”hesaid. “You’reright.Andit’sarealnice house,too.Iwishitwasmyhouse.I wishI’dbeenlivingherethelastnine years.”

AnhourlaterIwaslyinginbed twitchingthewayIdowhen sleepwon’tcomeandmylegs gonumb—circulationstopsandIjerk aroundlikeakidgettingelectrocuted,

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FICTION

orwhatwethoughtelectrocutedwould looklikebeforewereallysawitonTV. ItdrivesEmilycrazywhenIdoit,soI gotoutofbedandwenttothekitchen andhadRiceChex.Iwassittingthere thinkingaboutByronandmysisterand howmuchtroubletheywerehavingand IstartedthinkingaboutmeandEmily, andhowwegotalongprettywell.I mean,1startedwonderingifwewere fromanotherplanetorsomething.

ThenJanieandByroncameinwear¬ ingmatchingpurpleterryclothrobes. Theywereholdinghands.

Ilookedattheclockonthestovebut couldn’treadit,whichissomethingI hate.Ithappensallthetime.Evenin broaddaylightthethingishardtoread. Isaid,“Whattimeisitthere?”and motionedtowardthestove.

Janiebentover.“Howdoyouread thisthing?”shesaid.“Lookslikeit’s fourinthemorning.”

“Itdoesn’tlooklikemorning,”Byron said.“Wheredoesitsaymorning?”

Shegavehimaplayfullittleshove. “He’sadetailguy,”shesaidtome. “Youknowwhat1mean,right?”

“Twelve-twenty,”Isaid.

Janiecameovertothetableand rubbedmyshoulder.“Wejustwantto apologize,O.K.?We’resorrytobe messes,aren’twe,Byron?”

“Yep,”hesaid.Hegotahandonmy shouldertoo.

Theywerebothstandingtherebeside mewithhandsonmyshoulder,andI wassittingtherewishingI’dstayedin thebedroomwithEmily,thinking1

shouldhavebeensmartenoughtostay outofthekitchen.“Nothingtoworry about,”Isaid,andImadeasiftoget up,thinkingthat’dgetridofthehands, atleast.

Itdidn’twork.Byroncamewithme totherefrigerator,kneadingmyshoulder on the way. “You know how these thingsgo,”hesaid.

Well,1didknow,butwhatIwas thinkingwashowmuchIhateitwhen peoplethathavenobusinesstouching yougoaroundtouchingyouallthe time.But1figured1couldn’tsaythat withouthurtinghisfeelings,soIletitgo andopenedtherefrigerator,thinking thesightofleftoversmightencourage himtoforgetmeandgoforthefood.

“Wegotitallworkedoutinthebed¬ room,”Janiesaid,comingupbehind us.“We’regoingbacktoourplace now.”

“Tonight?Youdon’twanttojust sleepover?”Ihatedthat.1feltlikeabad guy,likenokindofbrotheratall.1 reachedintotherefrigeratorandgotthe blackbananaI’dbeenmeaningtotake outofthereforacoupleofweeksand handedittoByron.“Tossthis,will you?”Isaid.“It’sEmily’s,butshe’ll nevergetridofit.Shelovesthatbanana likeason.”

“What’swrongwithit?”Byronsaid. Heheldupthebanana,twistingitback andforthasiftryingtofindtheflaw.

“Hell,it’sperfect,”Janiesaid,slap¬ pinghisback.

Isaid,“There’ssteakhereifyou wantsteak.”

Byronsaid,“Steak?”

“Nothanks,”Janiesaid,pokinghis shoulder.“We’dbettergo.It’sjustthat wewantedtocomeinandapologizefor hangingyouupwithourtroubles.We alwaysdoit,don’twe?”She’dbacked uptothecounteroppositetherefrigera¬ torandhoistedherselfuponthecoun¬ tertop.“Ididn’twantyoutoworry aboutme.”

“Shethinksyouspendallyourtime worryingabouther,”Byronsaid.He had the banana stripped down and half-eaten.

“I’mhislittlesister,”Janiesaid.“Of courseheworries,don’tyou,Billy?”

“Iguessso,”Isaid,butwhat1was reallydoingwaslookingonthebottom shelfintherefrigeratorataZiplocbag ofblackbeans,tryingtoremember whenwe’dlasthadblackbeans,andit seemedtomethatithadbeenawhile.

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NAME ADDRESS CITY ZIP

DATE

SEND CHECK TO: Portland Monthly 154MiddleStreet Portland, Maine 04101

Randy Ury

BIRCH MEADOW

Thirty units of traditional design with contemporary efficiency will be sited with solar advantage in BIRCH MEADOW, a plannedunit development on the corner of McKeen Street and Church Road in Brunswick -convenient to Bowdoin College, Brunswick’s shopping areas and the shores of Casco Bay, only 26 miles to Portland. 31 miles to Augusta Priced from Si 18.500.

. MORTON REAL ESTATE

298MaineStreetBrunswick,Maine04011 MI? Tel.207-729-1863

WATCH THE SEALS!

BIDDEFORDPOOLatSouthPoint-Withboththerockycoast andsandybeachjustafewstepsaway,thisimmaculatethree bedroom two bath Cape, located just 25 minutes south of Portlandinaquietoceanfrontcommunity,ishardtoresist. Featuresspaciousfireplacedlivingroom,sunnykitchen,dining areawithpicturewindowoverlookingflowergardens,sliding doortopatioareaandfamilyroomwithbuilt-ins.Excellent primaryorvacationproperty.Offeredat$249,500.

OCEANVIEW LAND — Very special and private oceanview buildinglotatBiddefordPoolwithpathwaytosandybeach.Soils tested.$190,000.

^cear^ien1 |~P| RealEstateSales&Rentals■ IC S

e(»JO»* -- P.O. Box 76 12 Ocean Ave., Biddeford Pool, ME 04006 MLS (207)282-1732

PROUTS LAXD1XO

Our ship has just come in.

Complete the dream at Scarborough’s newest executive address. Sixteen traditional homes of! historicBlackPointRoad. From $175,000.

Exclusiveagent: Jim Pearson Linwood Realty 821 Stevens Avenue, Portland, Maine 04103 Office; (207) 878-2585 Home: (207) 799 4231

"Thebank'sflexibilityinstructuring ourinterimandpermanentfinanc¬ ingwasvital.Ifwehadtodoit again,we’ddefinitelygowithCoastal.”

HOW DO YOU GET YOUR PLANS OFF THE GROUND?

Solidideas.Goodtiming.Andtherightconnections.♦For ScottMcMullin,TimCloudmanandSteveAnderson,the ambitiousrestorationofPortland’shistoricOxfordBuildingre¬ quiredthepersonalattentiononlyCoastalBankcouldgive.♦When youconnectwithCoastalBank,youdealdirectlywiththepeoplewho makethedecisions.Experiencedcommercialbankersfindingfast,in¬ novativesolutions.♦ThroughoutMaine,businessescountonCoastal forcreative,flexibleloansandafullrangeofcommercialservices,from assetmanagementtofinancialplanning.♦CallSeniorVicePresident MikeYandellat(207)774-5000or1-800-551-3360.He’llseethat youmaketherightconnectionwithoneofourCommercial AccountRespresentatives. MAKE THE COASTAL CONNECTION

Hebron Academy: YourMaineOpportunity

The Campus... HebronAcademyisacoeducational, collegepreparatory,boardinganddayschoolenrolling 265studentsingrades9-12includingalimitednumber ofpostgraduatestudents. The Faculty. ..Experience rangesfromseniorfacultywithfortyyearsintheclassroomtodynamicyoungteachersbringingtotheir classestheenthusiasmofrecentlycompletedcollegiate orgraduatestudies. The Curriculum. ..Astudent¬ facultyratioof7to1insuressmallclasseswherefree discussion,frequentwriting,andindividualattention arethenorm. Athletics and Activities. ..Hebron fieldsscholasticteamsinthirteensportsandactivities andoffersnumerousclubprogramsforindividual interests.

&ts

OpportunitiesforConferences and Special Events

The Facilities. ..Locatedtwentymin¬ utestothenorthofLewiston/Auburn,the Hebroncampuscentersaroundpicturesque SturtevantHallwhichislistedintheNa¬ tionalRegisterofHistoricPlaces.Hebron Academyisequippedtohostmeetingsfrom tento150peopleduringnon-schoolhours. Ourmeetingroomsconsistoftraditional classroomset-upstoa90-seatlecturehall andagymnasiumwhichallowsmanydif ferentseatingarrangements.Forovernight accommodations,weofferdormitoryrooms duringvacationperiods. The AudioVisual Services. ..Hebronoffersmany typesofaudio-visualandpublicaddress systemstovisitinggroups.Wecanarrange tohaveourpersonnelruntheequipmentfor youorassistyouinitsoperation. Recrea¬ tion...A widevarietyofrecreationalfacil¬ itiesarelocatedoncampus,includingan indoorswimmingpool,weightroom,and gymnasium,andoutdoortenniscourts,hik¬ ingtrailsandtrackandfields.Canoeing, fishingandgolfareavailablenearby. Food Service... ProvidedbySeilersFoodSer¬ vice,weofferfullmenuoptionsranging fromsnacktraystofullformaldinners. Nexttimeyouareplanningaconferenceor specialevent,considerHebronAcademy.

Findingtherighthomefor yourfirmorretailbusinesscan Decomeafulltimejob.Unless youcometoGendron.

AsPortland'sleadingcom¬ mercialbrokers,wemaintaina computerizedinventoryofmost oftheoffice,industrialand retailspaceinthePortlandarea.

Weknowwhat'sforrent, what'slikelytobeforrentsoon, howmuchspaceisavailable andhowmuchitcosts.

Thatmeanswecanhelpyou findtherightspaceattheright locationattherightprice... rightinouroffice.Whichwill makethetimeyouspendvisit-

ingpropertiesmuchmorepro¬ ductive. Soifyouwanttorent commercialspace,callour leasingteam,at775-1811. And see everything that's .* available in Portland, without * ; leaving our office. - 1 ."J