Flash

c 00 girls vie for the camera's eye before a laughing Dr. John Knowles, member of the Portland Shinegawa Sister City Delegation visiting Japan.

Roger Woodman, president of the Portland Museum of Art board of directors, announces the museum's new director: Barbara Shissler Nosanow, an assistant director at the Smithsonian Institution, who begins her new duties August 1.

mail for him," confirmed an employee who wished to remain unidentified. "We're sending back the mail with return addresses as fast as we get it." "Did you see Tom Selleck?" "I never saw him, but there's rumors flying that he's in Cutler, Machiasport, all over the place."

This whole thing was starting to sound like those supermarket checkout reports proclaiming Elvis alive and well in secluded upstate New York. Finally, I spoke with a Jonesboro source I'll only identify as Ice Throat. This is real deep cover stuff, you understand. "Ice Throat, could there be a Tom Selleck double driving around down east?"

Under physical threats if I ever reveal my source, Ice Throat answered hoarsely, "There's a man who works for the (real estate firm) where Selleck supposedly bought the property, who does resemble him, but he's a little shorter. He's been driving around."

I hurriedly placed another call to tell Esme Chandlee I believed her. "This kind of thing happens to other celebrities, but it seems to happen to Tom more than anyone

Hoisting toasts at the opening of the Bounty at Riverside (upper right), from left: Michael Sobolesk, Bill Matthews, Alice Mazurie, and Mark Deane, all of Erin, Inc., Bangor. Above, South Portland's new mayor, Sharon Benoit, elected in May. Portlanders Bebe Buell, lead singer of The Gargoyles, and Michael DelleFemine, editor-in-chief of Cracked magazine, appearing in a "Photo-comic" shot in Portland for Cracked's summer issue.

else," she pointed out. "There have been rumors that he's been seen here or there overnight, that he's engaged to the mayor's daughter - and it's always a Big Secret. We don't mind look-alikes so long as they're honest about who they really are. But some of these peopIe play on the image to stay overnight at bed & breakfasts and motels for free. We've had an immense amount of things like that happen, and it's infuriating, not to mention illegal. "The newspaper headlines always say he's qOQght property somewhere. Current rumors have Tom buying properties in Connecticut, Florida, Gig Harbor up in Washingtt1n, Maine, on the Island of Maui, even France. Some reports had him driving up the coast out here in a red Ferrari -as if Tom would go around driving a red Ferrari."

She laughed when informed Selleck reportedly steered a Ford Bronco through Jonesboro. "Tom drives a Porsche and a Jeep, and that's it," she said.

I know what you're thinking. Does he or does he not have a secret Maine getaway? Are we going to see a smiling Tom Selleck on a Jonesboro Chamber of Commerce brochure to attract muchneeded investors and jobs? Unfortunately, I don't think so. I've got this little suspicion, you see, that Tom's never set foot on Mount Misery.

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