Archetrek - Who Am I? (Preview) by Portsafe

Who Am I? An Archetypal Quest

Katie Altham

ÂŠ 2006 Katie Altham Published and distributed by Archetrekâ&#x201E;˘ PO Box 73 Maddington WA 6989 enquiries@archetrek.com www.archetrek.com.au Apart from fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review as permitted by the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced without prior written permission of the author and Archetrek. ISBN 1-921033-03-7 Perth, Western Australia.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Katie Altham B. Mus. B.A. Psych, Post. Grad. Dip. Psych.

Director Archetrek Katie has been in private practice as a psychotherapist for sixteen years and has been working with groups for twenty years. Her career began in a totally different direction as a professional trumpet player. After receiving her music degree, Katie toured Europe with the Australian Youth Orchestra in 1984 and then studied music therapy and education in Kansas, U.S.A. on a Graduate Rotary Scholarship for a year. On return to Australia she obtained her psychology qualiﬁcations, began her practice, worked in the W.A. Arts Orchestra (opera and ballet companies) and played and sang in a jazz big band for fun. Katie has had chronic health issues for the past 25 years. At 24 years she was advised to go on the invalid pension due to the frequency and severity of her migraine headaches. Western medicine was unable to help, so Katie has spent 20 years exploring psychodrama and many other therapies, an invaluable experience that proved to be her most important contribution to her work - to heal herself. She is virtually pain and headache free today. Katie has four wonderful children, Eden (15), Jessie (11), Sandon (8) and stepdaughter Bonni (22) who have embraced this work and added much richness, love, humour and wisdom to Katie’s life. Living in Perth, Western Australia, Katie has a passion to enable others to heal their relationship with themselves. It is the most transforming work we can ever do, as it inevitably leads to embracing our unique brilliance, purpose and contribution to society.

Katie Altham Katie is working full-time with the archetypes. Her business, Archetrek, provides personal, corporate and professional development to expand understanding of self and others. This archetype-based model provides a comprehensive tool to fully understand ourselves, others, our relationships, develop tolerance, build self-acceptance and maximise our unique talents. Katie recorded a family and children’s C.D. “Inside Out ~ Quirky Tales for Real Kids” in 2004, the ﬁrst in our Far trekkers series which entertain whilst teaching values and providing emotional and intuitive skills. This book is just the beginning. There are many layers of treasures to explore within for the rest of our lives. Regular courses and workshops are held for adults interested in identifying their own archetypes and unique “Who Am I?” Map and to further enhance their knowledge and application of this work. Also available “The ‘Who Am I?’ How To!” companion workbook to delve into the treasures of your archetypes and map. Further information on Archetrek courses and resources is on the website www.archetrek.com. All enquiries are welcome! Contact us on: enquiries@archetrek.com.

Who Am I?

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Huge thanks to Peta Petrocchi, Karyn Maxwell, Mark Slater, Gail and Pete Lawson, Jenny Quartermaine, Gail Chambers, Jo Ashworth, Rod Safstrom, Sarah Innes and many others who have generously supported me and Archetrek in multiple ways. This work would not be here without you all. Annelise Safstrom deserves special thanks for her incredible contribution to the Archetrek journey for the last two years. Her support, commitment and much appreciated attention to detail in editing have been invaluable. Mark Slater created the ‘look’ of the book and graphics. Your enthusiasm, insights and designing skills add much life to this work, thank you! Paul Dennis designed the wonderful “Who Am I?” map, and Mark Slater modiﬁed it for this work. We love the map. Thank you! Artist Alison Bride did all the amazing cartoons of the archetypes. We are thrilled with them! Thank you so much to Joshua Alach and Matt Jelonek for the layout work on this book and the fabulous cover. Your professionalism and designing talents are much appreciated. John and Norrie Anderson (Katie’s parents) for many, many levels of love and support for 43 years. I’m grateful for every experience, lesson and the many blessings we’ve co-created and so glad we’re enjoying this time in our journey together. Thanks Mum for your wonderful scholar, philosopher and analyst who have helped clarify, edit and illuminate many tricky philosophical dilemmas. Your enthusiasm and wisdom are truly appreciated, thank you! Katie Altham and Cloudia Defrenne ﬁrst developed descriptions of archetypes and an archetypal life mapping model in partnership. “The Pantheon Presents - The Archetypes” was written by Katie Altham and Cloudia Defrenne and published in manual form in July 2002. Thank you for your many insights and wisdom.

Who Am I?

Gifted psychotherapist and psychodramatist Lorna di Lollo was my mentor for many years when I began this journey twenty years ago. Your wisdom, love and teaching have provided a signiﬁcant foundation to my work. Thank you! Many thanks to Margie Johnson and Debbie Hames, the best ‘wives’ in the business, they have provided wonderful unconditional support. Trisha Paice researched our information on the angels and fairies. Thank you for your commitment and support in all ways Trish and Dougie! All the team at Archetrek and the advanced classes and graduates especially who have helped me workshop this entire list of archetypes in extraordinary detail! We’ve lived and breathed this model together. Thank you all for your passion, support, commitment, vision and wonderful insights. You’re now all members of my ‘godfather’s’ beloved extended family! Hope you feel duly honoured! Katie’s family. (all the children are actor/storytellers!) Eden the artist, Goddess Pallas Athena, clown, princess, mother; Jess the philosopher, trickster, Goddess Artemis, Wizard; Sandon the prince, fairy, father, olympian and Bonni; Goddess Kali, Queen, Goddess Hecate and Goddess Pallas! They have loved the archetypes. With their Dad Steve, they made many contributions and sacriﬁces to enable this book to birth. You’ve been the best life teachers and inspiration I could wish for! My love and gratitude to you all.

TABLE OF CONTENTS WHO AM I? WHO AM I?

THE TRUE STORY OF SHADOW

WHAT IS AN ARCHETYPE?

I NEED A MAP

“WHO AM I?” MAP

CAR ANALOGY

CASTING YOUR “WHO AM I?” MAP

USING YOUR MAP

KEY POINTS BEFORE YOU BEGIN

THE CHILD ARCHETYPE

DISCOVERING YOUR ARCHETYPES ACTOR ~ STORY TELLER ~ ENTERTAINER

ADVOCATE ~ ACTIVIST

ALCHEMIST

ANALYST ~ VISIONARY

ANGEL

ANIMAL TRAINER ~ BREEDER

APHRODITE (VENUS) ~ GODDESS

APOLLO ~ GOD

ARTEMIS (DIANA) ~ GODDESS

ARTIST

CHAMELEON

CLOWN~JESTER

COMPANION

COMPUTER WIZ

COWBOY

CRAFTSPERSON ~ ARTISAN

DEMETER ~ GODDESS

DESIGNER

DETECTIVE

DISCIPLE

DOOLITTLE

DREAMER

ENGINEER

ENTREPRENEUR

100

ENVIRONMENTALIST

102

EROS ~ GOD

105

EVANGELIST ~ PREACHER

108

FAIRY (SPRITE)

111

FARMER

114

FATHER

117

GIANT

120

GODFATHER

123

GODMOTHER

126

GYPSY

129

HADES (PLUTO) ~ GOD

132

HEALER

136

HECATE ~ GODDESS

139

HEDONIST~ GOURMET

143

HERMES ~ GOD

146

HERMIT

151

HISTORIAN ~ SCRIBE

154

HOST ~ HOSTESS

157

KALI ~ GODDESS

160

KING ~ QUEEN

164

LAWYER

167

LION ~ COWARD

170

LOVER

173

MAGICIAN

175

MAIDEN ~ ROMANTIC

177

MANAGER ~ DIRECTOR

180

MARS (ARES) ~ GOD

183

MARTYR

187

MASTER ~ SLAVE ~ ADDICT

190

MEDIATOR ~ DIPLOMAT

193

MENTOR ~ GURU

196

MIDAS ~ MISER

199

MISSIONARY

202

MOTHER

204

MYSTIC ~ PSYCHIC

206

NEPTUNE (POSEIDON) ~ GOD

209

NETWORKER~MESSENGER

212

NUN ~ MONK

215

RARE ARCHETYPES

OLYMPIAN ~ ATHLETE

218

BEGGAR

304

ORPHEUS ~ GOD

221

GAMBLER

306

PALLAS ATHENA ~ GODDESS

224

GENIUS

308

PERSEPHONE ~ GODDESS

227

HERO ~ HEROINE

311

PETER PAN

230

INGENIOUS SCHEMER

314

PHILOSOPHER

233

INVALID

317

PIONEER ~ ADVENTURER

236

JUDGE

319

PIRATE

239

KIDNAPPER ~ LIBERATOR

322

POLITICIAN

241

MERCENARY

325

PRIEST

243

MURDERER

327

PRIESTESS

246

PROPHET

330

PRINCE ~ PRINCESS

249

SACRED PROSTITUTE

332

REBEL ~ REFORMER

252

SIMPLE HEART

335

REPORTER ~ JOURNALIST

254

STATESMAN

337

RESCUER ~ KNIGHT

257

VILLAIN

339

SAGE

260

SATURN (CRONOS) ~ GOD

263

ARCHETYPES WE ALL RELATE TO

SCHOLAR

266

(NOT TO BE INCLUDED IN “WHO AM I?” MAP)

SCIENTIST

269

CAREER~WORK LIFE

344

SERVANT

272

MARRIAGE~PARTNERSHIP

346

SHAMAN

275

SNOB-HUMANITARIAN

348

SOLDIER

277

TEACHER

280

REFERENCES

350

TRADER ~ MERCHANT

283

TRICKSTER

286

URANUS ~ GOD

289

WANDERER ~ NOMAD

292

WARRIOR

294

WIZARD

296

ZEUS (JUPITER) ~ GOD

299

WHO AM I? Introducing Archetypes and How Your Map Can Reveal Your Purpose

Answering “Who Am I”? As we browse through this book, we begin to realise that we can explain all those facets of our personality that make us similar to some people, and very different from others. We find that we can name those warring parts of ourselves that may desire an outcome and at the same time prevent and sabotage it. We begin to understand that there is no such thing as a bad archetype, or a bad person, and that we all experience times of light and shadow. Over several years of workshops with hundreds of people, we have come to understand that all of us can identify at least twelve archetypes, if we really name all aspects of ourselves. We are not cardboard cut outs, or stereotypical heroes or villains; we are amazingly complex and gifted beings, with the potential to shine like multi-coloured stained glass, lit from within. Of course we don’t always allow this to happen, but we can all recognise when we and others do. It is fascinating to notice how we all repress ourselves in the hope that we are successfully hiding our shadow (perceived flaws and challenges) from others. Unfortunately anyone who knows us knows our shadow and can articulate it clearly! We are all delusional in this way. Think of your closest friends, family and loved ones. Can you name their shadow? Of course you can. When we hide parts of self from others the only thing we disguise is our light (our talents and gifts). So the question “Who Am I?” shadow and light, becomes a fascinating journey of self-discovery and self-understanding. The archetypal answers provide a language to know ourselves, recognise our fellow travellers, and feel compassion for the trials we all experience. What is the answer to this question? We often fear we are unworthy, dark or bad at our core. However the truthful answer is; We are all light beings with a specific purpose defined by both the light and shadow of our archetypes.

Why am I here? The questions ‘Why am I here?’ and ‘What is the purpose of life?’ have been asked for as long as man has been a self- conscious being. Some of the explanatory stories and answers have been told for thousands of years, as we try to make sense of the world. Depending on the culture into which we were born, we will all have been exposed to these explanations, and some of them have left us feeling very insecure and unworthy. We may wish to reject the views that see us all as ‘sinners’ for instance, or that in fact there is no purpose to life at all. Ultimately we choose the story (interpretation) we tell about our lives. The answers we create consciously or unconsciously define our beliefs and choices and therefore, our experience of life. We may cast ourselves as victims, blaming others for our circumstances. We may be martyrs, suffering under our load in the hope of glory or ‘redemption’ later. We may decide the whole thing is pointless. All of these views lead to a negative existence with a focus on suffering not joy. Here is another view or story which many find more satisfying. Every person enters the world with a unique purpose and a specific task; which we agreed to undertake before we were born. That task is to fully experience both light and shadow and heal our shadows, enabling us (and others) to experience more light, freedom and love. Our light names our special talents which add up to our unique purpose. We need to allow these strengths (lights) full freedom of expression and visibility. True happiness and fulfilment occurs when we share these gifts with our community. It may take us many, many years to fully learn the lessons we chose. Life is a journey and the people who share it with us, family, friends, workmates, are all part of that lesson, co-stars in our ‘play’, reflecting all our light and shadow.

The True Story and Purpose of Our Shadow Our shadow’s purpose is to reveal and heal all aspects of self-rejection. The amount of suffering we have in life is directly related to the story and interpretation we have about shadow. When perceiving our shadow as evidence of unworthiness, failure, punishment and judgement we experience great suffering from our own hand! This is self-rejection at work, and it paralyses our experience of life. The struggles we have with our shadows often haunt us. We can live in the past, full of regret and condemnation for the mistakes we’ve made. We berate ourselves for taking so long to learn from these shadows and punish ourselves for our imperfections. We wrongly assume our light is the only worthwhile contribution we have to make, and that we’re wasting time getting stuck in our shadows. Not so! Every person is here to learn to heal their relationship with self. This means healing all aspects of self-rejection and gaining greater self-acceptance. Our archetypes name the speciﬁc life lessons we’ve chosen to learn and accept (our shadow),

Who Am I?

as well as our specific talents we have to contribute (our light). The shadows of our archetypes inevitably express themselves throughout our lives. It is essential to embrace and understand the true purpose of our shadow to experience joy and peace. Our shadow is attempting to take us back home to reclaim more of our divine light within. Think about some of your flaws that you find hard to forgive. We wear these failures and regrets like crosses on our backs. We dwell on them endlessly and punish ourselves unnecessarily. For example you may have had ongoing struggles with relationships, parenting, health, direction, anger, fear, trust, love, receiving, finances or career etc? It is part of your sacred purpose to experience these shadows fully, sometimes for days, months or years. Every aspect of shadow aims to release us from restrictive, false and toxic beliefs we have about ourselves and life. If we accept and complete the journey the shadow offers us, we release these views and experience a much lighter reality. Think about challenges that you’ve resolved. You felt lighter, freer, more peaceful and hopeful when they were healed. The greater the shadow struggle, potentially the greater the healing and transformation of our lives. As we heal, we experience more of our power, the divine light within. Sometimes we have moderate challenges that potentially deliver moderate insights and wisdom. For instance if you have the flu for three weeks, you may learn some things about your need to achieve and prove yourself, having found doing nothing a challenge. Then we have the ‘Taj Mahal’ experiences, the decades of difficulties that can offer enormous wisdom and life transformation. Having migraines for twenty years could teach you far more than a bout of flu, though harsh judgement of ourselves for still having migraines or whatever your current issue; no career direction, poor relationships, parenting difficulties, too many break ups, financial failings etc. will deny the shadow’s resolution. Resistance and judgement of our shadow results in the persistence of our shadow. In healing and resolving our inner wars and shadows, we contribute healing energy to everyone we encounter. Others always benefit from our increased self-love and peace (self-forgiveness and acceptance). When healing an aspect of our shadow we can see the ripple effects on those closest to us. We have also felt the benefits when loved ones have released some of their demons (aspects of self-rejection). The greater the struggle, potentially the greater our contribution to others when resolved! This concept can be expanded. The earth is like a fish bowl, with everything that occurs within, having a ripple effect on everyone and everything. We are all intimately connected to every person’s reality, thoughts, beliefs, expectations and feelings. Emails are a technological reflection of this phenomenon. This is what Carl Jung described as the collective unconscious. When we change and heal, we contribute a lighter reality and energy or vibration to the collective unconscious. The 13 shadows of our archetypes are the specific shadow issues we have decided to help heal for ourselves and on behalf of the world. We must engage and experience our shadows fully for this healing to occur. Therefore our shadows are an integral part of our purpose! If we heal our shadows we will change the future of the planet. One person can and does make a difference, and if enough of us heal, our world will reflect greater love, peace (acceptance) and an end to war and poverty (rejection). Our turbulent times are shaking us out of our unconscious shadow - rejecting realities in an effort to lead us to more acceptance and light (the divine). This isn’t comfortable but it is for our collective long term benefit! Years of shadow disappear when we allow our light to come through! There is enough power in a day’s sunlight to provide light for the world for a year. Our light is infinitely more powerful than our shadow. It has taken great courage by every person to agree to experience and engage in their specific shadows. Over time as we struggle and struggle, we have the opportunity to discover more insights about life and self, and yet sometimes the shadow persists. ‘Haven’t I got it right yet?’ we bemoan to whoever listens. Life isn’t about getting it right. That belief implies the shadow is persisting as a form of punishment. The shadow is the specific issue we are attempting to help heal in the world. The journey to experience, heal and transform the shadow is every person’s purpose. Our shadows have taken us to experiences and destinations that we would never have consciously chosen when maintaining control and managing our lives well, at least in our minds. However with hindsight, the most challenging times were often our greatest gifts as they changed the course of our lives and took us to new, far more fulfilling paths. Instead of judging and rejecting ourselves (and others) for our shadows, flaws and imperfections, we should honour them. If they persist, they can have more treasures, healing and insights to bring us closer to the divine within. Both the shadow and light are attempting to take us to more self-acceptance, love, freedom, truth, potential and joy!

Who Am I?

Continued self-judgement and resistance to these lessons and challenges will keep them attached like super glue, and keep us in the cycle of pain, loss, fear, anger and suffering. Where ever we find ourselves is exactly where we are meant to be. There are no good or bad experiences, only experiences, and each with their silver linings and treasures for transformation. Acceptance of where we are as perfect in any given moment will set us free. Naming the lessons and aspects of our lives we’ve healed as a result of the shadow we also set the shadow free. The ‘grooves of grief’, denial, depression, bargaining and anger are clues we’re not ready to let go of the specific struggle yet, even though we vehemently claim we are! Eventually through this archetypal quest, you find yourself able to accept your shadow and make peace with it, feeling gratitude for the many lessons and freedom it has brought to your life. This is the cycle we all experience with every one of our 13 shadows. This means that our archetypes are much more than merely interesting personality traits. They are the very special tools we have chosen, to play our part in changing and healing the collective energy (consciousness) of the world to a new more peaceful and positive experience. As we learn to understand our shadow, we recognise it as a gift. How courageous are those who are born into the really difficult lives, and how inspiring they are when they still manage to grow with love. Each life is as important as the next. There are no barriers of race, colour or religion. We are all embarked on the same journey, fellow travellers, each with our own quiet mission. Can we teach this in our schools? Can we allow our children to know that they are indeed unique, and that their contribution is vital to us all? And can we recognise that each conflict (shadow) we meet and express in our daily lives, and manage to convert to reconciliation (light) is a victory for the whole planet? I believe we can. This is a truly positive response to the chaotic and yet ultimately transforming times in which we live.

What is an Archetype? Archetypes (pronounced ark-i-types) were first defined by Carl Jung. They describe our core energies, traits, talents and challenges that make up our unique personality and soul, our holistic D.N.A! Archetypes are compulsive, driving forces within that dominate and motivate every choice we make in life. Our tastes, style, values and choices in careers, relationships, homes, cars, music, books, T.V., movies, hobbies, loves, hates and interests all reflect our archetypes. We may have been unconscious of the fact that our archetypal D.N.A. was making these decisions, but they do influence every moment. Becoming conscious of this information is transformational. The exciting underlying message within this model states we are all unique beings with a unique purpose. No-one else has your unique cluster of archetypes and experiences in life. We all have at least 13 archetypes including ‘the child’ which we have in different forms. Archetypes in themselves are all neutral. None is better than another, an important fact to keep in mind as you explore your unique archetypal cluster. We can have difficulty owning our archetypes when we perceive some positively or negatively. Any judgement we make about an archetype needs to be explored and healed as it is a clue to uncovering blocks in our life. If we do not allow our archetypes freedom of expression they express themselves in shadow. There are over 100 archetypes described in this book. Every archetype names and describes light and shadow characteristics. To be sure you have an archetype you need to relate strongly to both the shadow and light. You will have evidence of these characteristics appearing throughout your life in light and shadow ways and will still find that the shadow can trip you up today. If you think you’ve mastered the shadow of a particular archetype you do not have that archetype. The archetypes provide a wonderful, non-judgmental language, clarifying who we all are and what we are here for. We all speak and understand this innate language fluently without realising it. We also recognise many archetypal traits in others. Archetypes enable us to accept, forgive and heal our relationship with our shadow, those parts of ourselves we’ve rejected, judged, feared, repressed, hated and fought. When this transformation occurs we become more loving, compassionate, supportive, understanding, tolerant and accepting of ourselves and others. Our archetypes do not change over time, though our relationship with and expression of them does. Many people have repressed their power and visibility of their light in life. When first choosing their archetypes they may be blind to some.

Who Am I?

Over time with healing and freedom to explore, many have named more powerful or larger archetypes. Their archetypes haven’t changed, they were just lying neglected and mis-named in the basement of their psyches, expressing shadow every now and then! The light names the unlimited potential and talents within each archetype and clarifies our specific purpose and form of service to community, our destiny. To be happy and fulfilled we must fully share all of our archetypes and their talents for the benefit of others. If we all embraced our archetypal contract and destiny in life, our world would heal. Our purpose to experience and heal our shadow and just ‘be ourselves’ is equally important. The archetypes celebrate diversity and embrace freedom of expression. We are born with our archetypes, sharing some with our family. Our childhood experiences and conditioning determine how light or shadow we are in the expression of our archetypes. Children easily understand archetypes. They can identify their own, and name those that belong to people they know well. When my children were 9yrs – 10yrs we could identify about eight of their archetypes. By the age of 13 yrs the 13 or more were becoming very clear. Children love knowing they have a unique purpose and experience relief and improved self-esteem knowing we all battle our 13 or so archetypal shadows. None of us are ‘bad’ or alone in this struggle. At our core we are all light beings and a gift to humanity. Many personality models name us in part, while this model names the complexities of our whole unique self including our contradictions. The contradictions within can be confusing when attempting to know ourselves. Archetypes explain these contradictions. Remember every archetype has their own set of motivations, ambitions, values, challenges and talents jockeying for time. No wonder we become confused with 13 or more to balance! Enjoy the journey!

I Need A Map! If life is indeed a journey, then we all need a map. How can we discover our true purpose in life? Our archetypes provide the answer. When we position them on our life map we can understand at once what we are required to do. Firstly let’s look at the map (following page). The areas of the map are self-explanatory. The ‘p’ words give us more insights into the overall themes being through by body, mind, heart, soul and inner child. Heart refers every interaction we have with people and includes our relationship with ourselves. The mind expresses our perceptions about everything in life. Our soul is the messenger from the unconscious naming our purpose and creative talents in life. The body is the expression of our power or lack thereof. Becoming the light child is the key to realising our highest potential.

The “Who Am I?” Map as a Car Analogy Our “Who Am I?” Map can be described as a car. Our car takes us on our life journey. The soul contains the hidden (unconscious) road map and road signs to the optimal destinations for our lives. When we stop, look, listen and follow our maps (making the unconscious conscious) we take a more unique and individual journey and discover new, amazing and fulﬁlling destinations (experiences). The centre star, the Child archetype for everyone, is the ignition key of the car. If our car is ready to go but the key is faulty or lost, (i.e. the child is fearful, hurt, self-rejecting and in shadow), we’re not going to make our desired destination. The heart is the engine of our car. We have to lift the bonnet and go inside to see it. It takes oil (love) to keep going. The mind is the service history, (life story) of the vehicle. Does your model have speciﬁc design faults (faulty beliefs)? Is it second hand, how has it been cared for? (family history and beliefs handed down). When there were problems or accidents (painful events) were they properly repaired, patched over or ignored? Has the car had regular servicing? (Review of faulty/shadow perceptions) The body is the literal car we own that takes us to our destinations in life. There are all sorts of car models (bodies). We can have issues about the look, feel, energy levels, drive and health of our cars (bodies). We can neglect our cars and abuse them while still expecting them to perform on demand. Sometimes we’re so busy we don’t stop to check our inner maps and see the signs from our soul. We take the freeways of life, following others and journeying on auto pilot. This makes for an empty and somewhat meaningless journey. Who Am I?

Explaining Our Map Soul When we accept the story that we came here with a special purpose, the logical place to start exploring the map is the soul. We are all spiritual beings; this is how we started and this is where we will return. We have an instinctive, intuitive knowledge and understanding of the divine miracle of life, and we know that there is a purpose, even if we can’t see it right now! This is where our sense of self-worth resides.

Heart We are emotional beings, with feelings that are hugely important. Our heart is the place on the map that handles all our relationships and emotional responses to people. This area of the map reveals our capacity to give and receive love. We all certainly need some new clues here. This is where we are most vulnerable and experience love or pain.

Mind The mind is the rational, logical, thinking area of our map. This covers our perceptions, awareness, knowledge and beliefs of the world, and determines whether we respond from a sense of freedom, or from fear and judgement. Honesty, in the stories we tell ourselves, and others, is crucial here. Our life experience is very much determined by our shadow or li ght interpretations of self and life.

Body Finally we come to the body, which reveals every layer in our relationship to our power. When heart, mind, soul and child are in harmony, the body reﬂects empowerment, authenticity, courage and balance. Only through our bodies do we literally experience sensation and take action. Our body’s manifestations reﬂect the internal status of our heart, mind, soul and child. The diagram on the page following expands the Body, Mind, Heart and Soul Map. Each section now becomes three.

Soul/Purpose The unconscious: The archetype here can have as much inﬂuence over our lives as the rest of the map put together. The bottom line; are we self-rejecting or self-accepting? How does your archetype in unconscious reject or undermine you? Does this archetype feel worthy or unworthy? What is our meaning or story of life from this archetype’s viewpoint? Meditation, journal writing, music, dreams, synchronicities, signs, our intuition and guided visualisations can all bring the unconscious to consciousness. The feminine: Are we human beings or humans doing? The feminine is our nurturing side, intuitive, receptive, listening, allowing, receiving, sensitive and gentle. This is often a neglected part of our lives and yet crucial because the feminine births the new inspirations that are to be manifested in the body. Without adequate self-nurture we unconsciously abort the ideas due to be birthed. We feel that we’re wasting time or lazy when we stop doing. How able is your archetype here to receive, be still and connect? Creativity: Many claim they’re not creative, but we are all creating every day. We create our lives. This archetype holds the key to our source of inspiration. Our innate genius lives here. When creative we open the ﬂoodgates to inspired ideas which reveal our purpose. We become more vibrant and joyful when creating and releasing our imagination. We often repress our creativity from fear of unworthiness, which leads to depression. Take risks to express, dance, play, create and live! Our solutions to daily dilemmas are solved by our archetype here, in light or shadow ways.

Heart/People Relationships: The archetype here reveals our strengths and challenges in relationships with self and others. We have all sabotaged relationships. When we’re independent we’re unable to receive love, and separate within and with others to avoid possible pain. Intimacy can feel a threat which we decide to live without. How happy is your archetype here being vulnerable? Overs independence leads inevitably to co-dependency, after we’re burnt out from self-sufﬁciency. How has this archetype contributed to your relationship woes? The archetype here names how we want our light to be appreciated by others and the role we like to play in our relationships.

Who Am I?

Home: The archetype here will have specific desires about the style of home you prefer. It will also name the activities you would like to be doing at home, that will nurture and refresh. The shadow will reveal how you sabotage and neglect yourself at home. We often expect or demand others to meet our emotional needs and become manipulative and needy. At home we can either be co-dependent or self-supporting. We often demand others meet our needs. This cannot work. We then feel betrayed, disappointed and blame. What is your style of parenting? How does your archetype here nurture you? Have you created a warm, inviting home to live in or neglected your needs here? Values: Our values exactly reflect our true valuing of ourselves. When we are self-loving our values become more humanitarian. We are all equal and all one, respecting self and others. When we are not self-valuing we create a divisive hierarchy of worth. We define the world in terms of superiority and inferiority, which are both expressions of inferiority, and judge and place ourselves and others accordingly. This divisive reality reflects the divisions within that need healing. Our values archetype names our priorities in life! The subjects you feel passionately about will be revealed here. You will loathe people who engage its specific shadow, including self!

Mind/Perception Communication: When we express ourselves it is clear to hear whether we are closed, blaming and victim-like or open, responsible and innocent, i.e. free to make choices. Innocence is the absence of pre-conceptions, cynicism and patterns, everything is possible. The archetype here tells the world the story of your life, and has gifts and challenges in self-expression, self-honesty and self-awareness. How judgemental are your views here? Your archetype here describes your style of self-talk (thoughts) and talk. What are the frequent stories your archetype here tells self and others? Are these light or shadow? What is the true or real story today? How connected are you? Beliefs (knowledge): Our beliefs are incredibly powerful. The way you interpret the world is through the lenses of your beliefs and communication archetypes. We can claim to be open minded, whilst being very rigid, closed and pedantic. Changing beliefs can feel like an earthquake in our psyche, as our identity is founded on beliefs. The subjects best suited for your further studies will reside in this light. In the light you will be open to new knowledge, in the shadow not. How fearful or trusting are your views of life? Choose some topics and think them through from the point of view of your archetype here. How light or shadow are your beliefs? Money (needs, wants and desires): The light of this archetype reveals innate talents you have which should be part of how you earn money. It will also highlight challenges you may have from the shadow in meeting your needs, wants and desires. This archetype will also have strong (light and shadow) views about money which are worth exploring. They may be restricting your capacity for abundance and trapping you in a reality of scarcity, not just ﬁnancially but in all things in life. How trusting and ﬂowing is your life? How generous and grateful are you? Is the cup half empty?

Body/Power Outcomes: We either manifest in a creative or destructive manner. This archetype actualises our issues in heart, mind, soul, child and body! It is the most visible part of the iceberg. It reflects the exact status of our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Therefore it names our number one lesson in life at the moment. It the sum expression of our whole being and the outcomes are either creative or destructive. We constantly assess ourselves from this archetype. It should be part of our daily focus. It needs to be reflected in our work and will be a dominating archetype in our life. This archetype in shadow can try to disguise, hide and repress your power and become destructive. Your shadow becomes visible and light invisible. All our body image issues reside here! This archetype contains the power to illuminate all you are! Work: This archetype names the style of work we should be doing, in conjunction with the masculine and outcomes archetypes. We often compromise our work choices and lead unfulfilling lives as a result. We claim our life circumstances deny our capacity to choose. It takes courage to follow our passion and dreams and live a fulfilling life where our career and daily routines are joyful and meaningful. To be fulfilled in life we need to be contributing our greatest gifts and light to as many as possible. The Masculine: This archetype describes the way we step out into the world, and our style of power, giving, anger and passion. When we try to control how others view us and influence their judgements, we are coming from ego. When free to be ourselves and self-accepting we are authentic and empowered to move through many doors. This archetype is proactive, the doer and giver in our map. Do you have strong egocentric tendencies and a need to prove self here? What is the image this archetype seeks? What would be the real you? How giving are you? Do you give to maintain control? Our health issues are expressed in the masculine, and are closely linked to our relationship with the feminine.

Who Am I?

Casting Your Map I had a vision from Enid Blyton’s “Magic Faraway Tree” recently. Remember how the children climb the tree and discover a new land with different adventures and challenges? Our lives are a bit like that. My vision of this magical tree was that as I healed and resolved the issues of an archetype in a particular area of my life, it moved to another pathway land. Perhaps every one of our 12 archetypes travels to every pathway (land) on our maps. Of course every archetype affects every aspect of our lives. The beauty of the map is it names which archetype is dominating which area at any particular time. Now we get to the fascinating part. We have taken time, consulted with family and friends, thought deeply and have chosen twelve archetypes. This has been done from the rational, masculine part of brain. Now we balance the process and access the feminine within and our intuition to cast our map. Write the name of each of your twelve archetypes on a small piece of card or paper and shuffle them. Create a quiet space for yourself, and enter a contemplative or meditative state. You may enjoy some reflective music and a candle. Close your eyes and become still, breathing deeply and relaxing. Release all thoughts of the day and distractions. Our intuition and unconscious know exactly who we are. Of course if you recast your map next week it would be different. This method requires a trust in your feminine and intuition, and some archetypes will find that a very hard bridge to cross. Cast your map in the following manner and sit with it for a few days and see what insights it brings forth. If the map you cast feels very uncomfortable or not relevant you may have chosen the wrong archetypes. You can also see an archetype consultant and review your archetypal selection and cast again if necessary. When you are ready, place the slips of paper, face down so you cannot see the writing, where you intuitively feel they belong on the blank map in the appendix. There will be three archetypes in heart, body, mind and soul. Make sure you can clearly see which archetype belongs to which area. Take your time here, and don’t turn the papers over until you feel they are right. Trust yourself and your inner knowing. When you are satisfied, turn over the slips and write your archetypes where they belong on your blank map. Congratulations, you have your “Who Am I?” Map!

When Can I Re-cast My Map? We do re-cast our maps following significant changes in our lives. Whilst our archetypes mostly remain unchanged (unless we discover and re-name some as a result of greater self awareness and archetypal knowledge), our maps need to mirror where we are in our lives. Our maps will vary when we are students, or working, or at home with children, or getting married or divorced etc. Significant health changes or any life events can make us feel very different. When such a major shift occurs re-cast your map. Each casting will usually last for many months if not years. You can also cast a map to answer a specific question that is concerning you. Think about the question as you cast the archetype cards on the map in each area. Interpret the casting to answer your question.

We each have a genius that can make a difference to many. That genius includes being yourself!

Who Am I?

Interpreting My Current Map Soul Unconscious Trickster - The key issue, self-rejection or self-acceptance. My trickster can be my worst critic and cynical of all I attempt to do. This has been a huge challenge for me here. My new philosophy or story of shadow has helped me to turn the trickster into the light. The trickster can be very insightful, entertaining and honest about their shadow, which helps others to claim and heal theirs. When able to laugh and accept all that has been in my life, I am ready to move to my next chapter. Sharing this journey with humour helps Kali in outcomes to birth the new. Feminine Hecate - This archetype can be venomous, arrogant and self-isolating. Her wisdom, trust and insights into the unknown and unseen are her strengths. The key here is how open and loving she is, particularly in the feminine. Can she be vulnerable and receive? Does she meditate and spend enough time connecting to the soul through the feminine to access her wisdom and intuition? Am I listening and trusting the messages from my soul and intuition? (To be acted on by the masculine) Hecate names and faces the truth no matter how challenging. This is her gift to me now. Creativity Apollo - The genius of this archetype is as a healer and artist. (Remember creativity reveals your hidden genius!) The keys for me and all Apollos are the mottos ‘healer know thyself’ and ‘everything in moderation’. This is something I struggle with. My creativity for the last six months has been focused on developing my two books and workshopping its methodology. My imagination has connected me to the unconscious and opened up a rich source of wisdom and inspiration. Healing my self in body, mind, heart and soul has also been a major priority.

Heart Relationships Detective - The key, to stay emotionally open and available in relationships. Finding out who people are and why they are here is an obvious passion for me. Hence my detective has been very helpful with my work. I can over analyse relationships and think I have all the answers though, not an attractive trait! With detective here I can try to ﬁx and analyse everyone, avoiding intimacy. Trusting and connecting to my emotions and intuition is the way forward in my relationship with self and others. Home Actor Storyteller - The key for wherever this archetype appears is, are you connected to and telling yourself the real story about this area of your life? For me, that is at home right now. I couldn’t understand this one for a while, but I’ve had many recent insights and recognised places of blind self deception! I could be a drama queen at home, and will love people’s stories and T.V! How am I parenting myself and others? If I’m disconnected from my true story, the answer will be poorly! Values Hermes - Am I being constructive and inspiring others to experience more of themselves and life, or am I being cynical, sabotaging my efforts (and others) in the world? That’s the question for every Hermes. If I’m using my talents destructively, purely to rebel against authority I will have poor self-esteem. Hermes also loathes chronic complainers and negative people. When I become this shadow of Hermes I will despise myself. I must provide my Hermes with an outlet and audience for his unconventional and charismatic guidance to be living in alignment with my values. Having the courage to walk my talk and cross the bridges from the old to the new in my life will also be crucial.

Mind Communication Philosopher - Every thought I seem to have is philosophical at present. For months I’ve been consumed with understanding the purpose of shadow. There have been moments when I’ve been despairing and wondered what the point of everything was, an irresistible shadow of the philosopher. However my new philosophy is translating into magical steps forward now! Having some answers to the big questions, gives me a solid foundation and more positive perception of life. Beliefs (Knowledge) Wizard - This archetype is the same for my original and current maps. I see the world completely through the wizard’s beliefs and can be very intolerant of myself and others when they don’t ‘get it’. I embrace the mystical and cannot fathom those who don’t when in shadow. This is the subject matter I’m best suited to study and explore. I love learning about spiritual philosophy and the potential for life transformation. My beliefs can range from being closed to totally embracing the reality of magic in life. I can delusionally believe I’m open about many topics, when actually closed!

Who Am I?

Money (Needs) Queen - The key to meeting my needs, wants and desires is to step up, take responsibility, reveal my vulnerabilities and lead. If I step away from leadership and abdicate from my responsibility for meeting my needs, things will be scarce. Queens must lead groups, stay humble and share their huge hearts and gifts. With the queen in money these light behaviours will result in abundance. She can be burdened by trying to save others and neglect herself, and is at constant risk of burn out. Balance is essential.

Body Masculine Healer - The quest to heal myself has been a constant focus for over 25 years. Always challenged by my physical health, I found I could only heal physically when also healing myself emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Every health crisis eventually enabled greater holistic healing, new wisdom and a greater capacity for peace and contentment. As I step out into the world now, taking responsibility to be balanced and caring for the wounded healer within is essential. When in alignment with the feminine my health dramatically improves. I must be the healer as I move into the world. Work Mentor - The best work and contribution I can make to the community is as the mentor. I love this role and have experienced many lessons from the shadow in the past. This area also concerns daily routine and I can mentor 24/7 and neglect normal relationships and experiences. I become the mentor to all whether asked or not in shadow, losing balance. Self-awareness and honesty are key. Walking my talk and applying wisdom to my life are also wonderful ways to teach through example. Outcomes Kali - I laughed when this appeared. Kali is all about ‘womb or tomb. She’s birthing new things or ending them. This has been a challenging time in my life in many ways but also incredibly transforming. I’ve had huge shifts in health, a key Kali issue and birthed the second book. I’ve had to release much that I was attached to like concrete. Kali’s capacity to manifest destructively has been a huge issue for me. However when she’s birthing, the outcome becomes creative and constructive. This is my number one lesson and gift to community today.

Child Child - light child or hollering, achiever, tomboy. Not too hard to see!

Who Am I?

Using Your Map Choose one archetype in one area of the map and read this archetype and the relevant map notes often in the next few weeks. Be observant of how this archetype affects you daily in this area of your life. Once you feel like you’ve experienced the light and shadow many times and can easily recognise this archetype at work in your life, move on to the next archetype that takes your attention and do the same. It took me a year or more to experience all the subtleties of every archetype in this way. It was incredibly rewarding however and four years later I’m still discovering new insights about myself through my archetypes and where they’re currently residing in my life. This journey is as rich and transforming as the time and effort you give. Suppose you are having a problem with a particular relationship in your life, be it partner, child or work colleague. Re-read your archetype and information provided on this pathway of the map. Check for shadow behaviours. At ﬁrst we can deny our shadow is at work, but once we become aware, and really observe and hear ourselves, we are able to respond differently. In many cases, the instant we can see what we’re doing and see our archetypes at work, we can make changes and choose differently. When realising you are in a speciﬁc shadow, re-read the light of that archetype. This information provides the literal bridge you can choose to cross to give you an optimal outcome.

Where to Begin? ‘Meeting Your Thirteen Archetypes’ (Guided Visualisation.) Play some contemplative music and allow yourself to relax. Focus on the cover of this book and imprint the image on your mind. Close your eyes and take some time to let go of all worries and concerns and breathe deeply, connecting with every part of your body. After a few minutes, imagine yourself travelling through the light centre of the lantern on the cover of the book. Enter another dimension and let your imagination go free. Trust all that comes to you. Your imagination holds the keys to opening a door to your purpose. Imagine you can see or sense a large bright ﬁre before you with wooden benches to sit on in a circle. Take a seat in the circle surrounding the ﬁre and just let yourself be for a few moments. After a while another being joins you. It is one of your archetypes. It may look like you or be very different. It may be male or female or any age or race. Take a moment to feel and appreciate the energy of this archetype. You may have messages come to you through your intuition from your archetype. Take the time to meet all 13 of your archetypes, your 12 plus the child. When you see this amazing and unique cluster of energies you will realise just how powerful and resourceful you are. If you are experiencing a dilemma at present, ask a few of your archetypes for advice and to step forward in this situation. You can do this visualisation as often as you like. Create your own scenarios to meet and engage with your archetypes.

See “The Who Am I? How To” workbook for further insights on your map. There is a wealth of information and exercises that you can do at home to give clarity and vision for your life. You’ll be able to answer all your questions, see where your blocks are and become inspired by your potential! See our website for workshops and courses on this work.

Who Am I?

Key points before you embark on your transforming quest! You are aiming to choose 12 archetypes plus your version of the Child, an archetype we all share. 1 All archetypes can be chosen by men and women. They are not gender specific. Men are mothers and goddesses and women fathers, godfathers and gods. There are no limits! 2 Please DO NOT choose your archetypes from the descriptions and key words alone. They are too general and you will be delusional in your choices! 3 You must be able to answer “YES” to all the key questions to claim an archetype. You’ll say “no” to some questions too quickly. When you come back to them later you may realise saying “yes” felt quite confronting and you’d rejected this trait and question instinctively. 4 This tool is only as transforming as we are honest with ourselves. Ask friends and family about how they see you and refer to specific archetypal traits and questions. They’ll soon set you straight as you will them about their archetypes! Have fun with this with your friends and family. 5 If you believe a particular shadow is NO longer an issue for you then this is definitely NOT one of your archetypes. You will find the shadow of your archetypes will continue to surface for the rest of your life in varying degrees. 6 To claim an archetype you must be able to trace both the light and shadow traits throughout your entire life. They are not something that you’ve just begun in the last few years! 7 You must relate to at least 90% of both the shadow and light of each archetype before claiming it. It can take some time (even years) to be able to recognise an archetype in our lives. This can be because we are challenged by the strength, power and potential it names and we’re not ready to step up in this way. We unconsciously reject it, until a later date when we allow ourselves to see and own this dimension of ourselves. 8 While you may not have reached the full depth of the shadow as written, you can identify with and own nearly all of the shadow traits in your archetypes. 9 Remember there are no ‘bad’ or ‘better’ archetypes. They are all neutral. We all tend to skip over some because we have preconceived judgements. In every workshop I’ve ever done, everyone has had at least one if not several surprises when discovering their archetypes. 10 We are born with our archetypes. They do not change. However our ability to accurately name our archetypes does improve in time. Many people have made changes about a few of their archetypes. When their archetypal knowledge and self awareness increased they adjusted their choices accordingly. Stay open to all possibilities, the light is amazing in every archetype. 11 Discovering and owning our shadow in particular, but also our potential as described in the light is often an emotional experience. The healing transformation has already begun congratulations! 12 The ‘in childhood’ section is the least concrete. If you do not relate to the childhood description but can relate to the rest of the archetype fully it is still likely to be your archetype. This is because our unique cluster of archetypes can significantly alter how we express ourselves in childhood.

Who Am I?

THE CHILD ARCHETYPE The common archetype we all share.

We have all been children and spent a large proportion of our lives in childhood. As you may realise we also slip back into these old patterns of behaviours and responses and behave enthusiastically (light) and/or childishly (shadow) in adulthood. However you responded to pain and rejection as a child you may respond differently now in adulthood. The ‘now’ is what counts. The following archetype is extremely helpful for parenting your children. Even more importantly, your version of the shadow child will alert you to the fact that you’re self-rejecting, hurt and asking for support and parenting in a manner that guarantees rejection.

The child archetype resides within the centre star of the “Who Am I?” Map for everyone. It is central to the success, happiness and fulﬁlment of life. The child functions like the starter motor in our car. All our adult archetypes in body, mind, heart and soul are up and ready to go and yet we can’t make things happen. It can be very frustrating. If the starter motor in your car doesn’t work you’re not going anywhere. The same goes for the child within. If we’re in the shadow, playing the victim and feeling overwhelmed, we’re not going to our desired destinations. The shadow child creates many of our blocks. The journey of life is reﬂected in the maturation cycle of the child. We begin to develop our shadow, coping strategies to life in reaction to pain, loss, fear, change and rejection very early in life. The “H” shadow child and the subcategories below name these common reactions. As a child grows developmentally they’re expected to be able to take more and more responsibility for their choices and actions. The inability to take responsibility for all in life creates

much pain and havoc and is an issue for everyone to some degree. When blaming and wounded, playing the victim (shadow child), we deny ourselves any opportunity to experience the light child. We spend an enormous amount of time in our child archetype, whether we’re aware of this fact or not. The developmental cycle of life goes like this: Child - shadow child - teenager - adult - light child Being a responsible adult is often seen as the pinnacle of development, however I believe that embracing the light child while supported by the responsible adult within is the pinnacle! These famous names express their light child easily while obviously having well-deﬁned adult roles and archetypes within (on a good day!)

Light Child/Adult Examples Dalai Lama, Steve Irwin, Jamie Oliver, Sir Richard Branson, Billy Connolly, Robin Williams, Goldie Hawn.

Who Am I?

THE LIGHT CHILD Our light child is full of optimism, trust, hope, faith and enthusiasm, a complete joy to be around. When coming from the light in this archetype we treat life as an adventure and a wonder. Our joy, playfulness and high energy are captivating. There is a belief in magic, i.e. that life has the ability to be transformed from the mundane into the extraordinary. We have all experienced every dimension of the light child but maybe not as often as we would like. The light child is self-love personiﬁed. When we’re in the light we are whole, at peace and in harmony within. Listen to your selftalk to identify which side of the child you’re in. The key steps: taking responsibility to balance your life and meet your own needs. There are four distinct expressions within the “I” light child. We relate to all of these traits however some come more easily than others. Inspirational (Soul)

Intimate

Innocent

Illuminated (Body)

(Mind)

(Heart)

Inspirational The light child is inspirational and charismatic. They are very creative with wonderful imaginations. The inspired light child will mesmerise with their enthusiasm and focus on birthing their new dreams and intuitions. Their spontaneity and capacity for joy transforms life for all. The inspired child is working towards their purpose in life. They are fulﬁlled by sharing their many talents in the pursuit of their dreams and purpose. They’re connected to and honour the messages from their intuition.

Intimate The light child is caring, open and available in relationships. They are vulnerable and emotionally honest. They can express pain, love and compassion with ease. The intimate child is not afraid of pain. Pain is the doorway to intimacy, breaking down the protective, hardened layers built up over time which restricts the capacity to give and receive love. The intimate child nurtures self and others and gives and receives freely. They have intimacy (into me see) with self and others.

Innocent Innocence is the absence of prejudice and negative expectations. The innocent are open to all possibilities. Life is magical and wonderful, and they’re not hardened by difﬁculties and the scars of life. The innocent child within has open, expansive and optimistic beliefs. They’re very

Who Am I?

perceptive and innately wise and resist becoming arrogant or cynical. They are naturally humble, delightful and free of recurring toxic beliefs and life patterns. Every day is a new day with new experiences to behold!

Illuminated The light child radiates an inner light and power that illuminates all within. They are not afraid of being seen and shining. The illuminated child is courageous, passionate, heroic and responsible. They resist the need to control, prove and honour themselves instead. They are balanced and authentic, real and dynamic. The illuminated child is empowered. They do not force their way through life, they ﬂow and trust. They embrace change as the doorway to discovering their potential.

The Shadow Child When in the shadow child we often speak in negative, pessimistic and cynical terms and feel overwhelmed, fragile, unable to cope, irritable, blaming and too tired and stressed to make decisions or take action. Our language becomes quite precious in the hope that others will pick up the pieces and ‘parent’ us, because we shouldn’t have to! The shadow side of the child archetype has four distinct expressions: holding, hiding, hurting and hollering. All four shadow children feel hurt. They each express their pain differently, perhaps disguising it from others. One of these four expressions will be your shadow child. Again we can all relate and react as each of the four “H” children, however one will stand out as our preferred expression. Listen to your self-talk and reactions to others when rejecting and hurt to observe your child in action. It is your way of expressing and reacting to pain and rejection today.

Identifying your shadow Child Choose one of the shadow “H” child categories that best describes you now when self-rejecting and overwhelmed. 1 Hollering (Body) 2 Hiding

(Mind)

3 Hurting

(Heart)

4 Holding

(Soul)

Child

How you express pain now may differ to your childhood expression of pain. You will recognise all of the traits of the shadow child inside yourself, but there will be ONE that is a more dominant pattern for you.

Remember Resentment, blame and bitterness guarantee our status as victims. Every shadow child is asking for love, support and reassurance very badly! Just ask openly for the support you need!

No-one except you can make you believe you’re worthy of love. Live as if you know and believe this to be true. You are always worthy.

Who Am I?

HOLDING CHILD Holding children can display the behaviours of all four of the shadow child types. They can express themselves as hurting, hiding and hollering but tend to retreat to the familiar and hold on when in fear. They’ll explode and become hysterical at times, especially when facing new situations. These children experience separation anxiety. Change and imposed change in particular can terrify this child. Holding children underestimate their ability to take on new situations. They miss many opportunities because they’re clinging to safety and the familiar. This is very distressing to them. (They may have the lion~coward and/or chameleon archetypes). Holding children will defer decision-making or make no choice, leaving decisions up to the one they are clinging to. They will choose the safest option and contract away from life. They are not used to relying on their own authority, intuition or other inner resources. Holding children fear abandonment and yet they sabotage their lives by constantly abandoning themselves. They are prone to panic and need lots of warning about what will happen next. When frightened they are incredibly stubborn and self-destructive. Once they’ve reached that point it is unlikely you’ll move them or encourage them out of the shadow. They can be devastated when they realise how much they’re missing out on. They are the most co-dependent of all four shadow children, a trait which needs attention and healing.

Holding Child - Helpful parenting tips •

If they’ve become distressed and hysterical ﬁnd as gracious a way out as possible and take some time out away from the public. Defuse the situation by distracting them.

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Don’t try to address the problem when they’re distressed. Wait a few hours or a day or two and then discuss it and brainstorm some other choices together for next time.

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These children often need someone else to begin something with them, get them started until they feel more self-assured. That’s okay!

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Little steps towards independence are all they can manage. Celebrate them!

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Defer decisions when they’re panicking and irrational. Let them sleep on it and give them a few choices without pressuring them. Their ﬁnal decision (eg. to go to the social or not) can be made at the last minute so there’s less time to be distressed.

Who Am I?

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Keep providing your child with new opportunities to take little steps forward. Practice will help.

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Be careful not to collude with their need for you. It can become a smothering co-dependent relationship where both of you are hiding from life through the other.

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Sometimes you need to let go and realise the issue isn’t as important as you thought. Let them have time to grow up a little, they will improve with age. Try again in a few weeks or months.

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Be very encouraging and complimentary with every brave step forward.

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Let them know there will be lots of opportunities to get braver. They have their whole childhood in which to learn and heal.

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Give them hope, tell them stories about when you were too frightened to do things, and some when you were brave, feeling the fear but doing it anyway. Laugh about it!

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Don’t dwell on their shadow and fear. Keep a positive outlook on your child’s (and your) potential and feed that belief back to them.

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Don’t let your identity as a parent be dependent on how well your child is managing. We’re all born with these traits. They chose us to love them enough to help them heal. And don’t take parenting too seriously!

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Try not to respond from your shadow child. Be a light child yourself in response to life.

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Offer incentives and rewards.

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Choose your battles. Say ‘Yes’, where possible.

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Seek professional help with others when you/they need support and encouragement.

HURTING CHILD Hurting children miss out in life by focusing on their suffering rather than jumping up and participating and enjoying life. This is the ‘poor me’ child who will endlessly sulk and whine while refusing to discuss the event that caused their pain. Hurting children are sensitive children who often feel misunderstood. They don’t deal well with criticism, teasing or opposition. These children feel hard done by and very virtuous. It is never their fault and they can’t understand why others have hurt them this way. They take life events on a very personal level, and find it difficult to ‘go with the flow’ in the good times. They find changing gears from the hurting to light child extremely difficult. The hurting child lets at least one person see that they are in pain. They differ from the hiding child because they make sure someone can see their pain. This child has mastered looking sad and manipulating others to feel guilty and has huge difficulty taking responsibility for their circumstances. They live as a victim, blameless in their minds and stubbornly wallowing in their suffering. This attention-seeking behaviour drives others away. Others can feel overwhelmed by their neediness and suffering. It is very self-destructive. Others will often turn handsprings to try and find out what the matter is with a hurting child, but it usually takes up to twenty questions or more before they feel sure you really want to know. They test their relationships and stay silent until we’ve proven our concern is genuine. Hurting children lose opportunities by hurting themselves. They choose to interpret events as hurtful and easily slip into a victim stance. They are very self absorbed, and can dwell in the past, reliving their wounds.

Hurting Child - Helpful parenting tips •

Ignore their sulking and ask them to name what they want when they’re ready.

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Name the game they’re playing and say, “I know you don’t want to tell me until I’ve asked 25 times but I’m asking once, What is the matter?” Stick to this policy!

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Exaggerate their problem with humour but sensitively, see if you can raise a smile out of them. This can be the opening you need. A cuddle and affection will often help open the ﬂoodgates. Keep holding them and reassure them that you’re there to help.

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Distract them with a story of your life. Tell them how your shadow child messed things up for you at times, laugh about it!

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If you have some favourite funny shows on tape, watch them and laugh together. Then they’ll talk if they need to.

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Go for a walk, do an activity or go on an outing together, one on one.

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Gentleness is essential, but so are good boundaries where you let them know there are limits to your patience and endurance!

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Encourage them to articulate their needs and concerns at every opportunity. The earlier they speak up the better.

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Celebrate every time they take responsibility for a problem and speak up clearly without manipulation.

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Show them with examples how the ‘poor me, whining and blaming’ is a huge turn off. Do this when having an open discussion.

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Help them to laugh at themselves and not take life and themselves so seriously.

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Teach them with maturity the downfalls of insisting they’re the victim. They’ll have “no ability to respond” to events in life.

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Help them to recognise when they’re wallowing and suffering to get attention. Coax them out of it, humour ﬁrst, then assertiveness.

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Tell them you love them but need them to express themselves differently if they’re to get their needs met. Model this.

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Always encourage them to have a go and jump at life. Help them spend more time having fun and doing what they love. Who Am I?

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They have the choice whether to be happy or unhappy daily, and early on you can teach them how to make that choice.

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De-brief situations that they excluded themselves from a day or so later. Brainstorm together better choices for next time.

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Don’t dwell on their shadow and fear. Keep a positive outlook on your child’s (and your) potential and feed that belief back to them.

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Try not to respond from your shadow child. Be a light child yourself in response to life.

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Offer incentives and rewards.

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Choose your battles. Say ‘Yes’, where possible.

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Seek professional help with others when you/they need support and encouragement!

Responsibility means having the ‘ability to respond’, not just react, to life circumstances. Our happiness depends upon complete self-responsibility.

Who Am I?

HIDING CHILD Hiding children are hiding from themselves, their feelings, others and the world. They do not let anybody see their pain ever. They slip silently away. They are often described as good children because they’re no trouble. They never reveal their problems. They find it extremely difficult and threatening to name and connect with their feelings/needs and choose to hide in silence. They can be very aloof. Hiding children often lose the important things in life (even relationships and careers in adult life) because they naturally self-exclude, rather than reveal themselves. Their shyness, timidity and lack of self-knowledge limit their relationships and potential. As a result, hiding children have very few if any resources to manage emotional issues. They’ve had the least practice. They are emotionally and personally inarticulate and naturally withdrawing. These children are master wallflowers. They are chronic self-rejectors whose expectations are often incredibly low. They fear failure and rejection and are expert avoiders of conflict and self-revelation. They innately believe that to see who they really are would result in rejection by others. The can live a surreal life, putting in very little of themselves. They often retreat into their fantasy worlds to survive. Hiding children feel and believe they do not belong, even in their families. They live life on the outside looking in. Hiding children do not realise they are the ones who self-exclude, others don’t get the chance. They are very sensitive to any signs of rejection, exclusion or threat and have mastered becoming invisible to survive. Getting personal information out of these children is harder than pulling teeth. This is because they fear knowing this information and truly don’t know who they are. They are often overlooked. Something they say is okay, but deep down is the very rejection they feared. Their shyness cripples them. Hiding children find the world fearful and difficult. They don’t know who they should be. They can be perpetually lost and confused. (They often have the lion~coward, companion and chameleon archetypes).

Hiding Child - Helpful parenting tips •

Get a “Feelings Chart” from Archetrek and make a daily game of ﬁnding the faces and words that name their feelings.

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Use this tool and others to improve their ability to articulate their needs.

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Try some gentle meditations that take them closer within. They need lots of practice learning to reconnect safely.

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Go walking together in nature and connect to the ﬂowers and animals. This healing activity will bring them back to themselves.

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Have games in the car where everyone has a list of saying “I love …” Stretch them.

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Use feelings to describe how you are. Share your insecurities and fears so they’re not alone. Be as honest and real as possible.

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Encourage them to speak up and take small risks, step by step. Do not collude with their need to constantly retreat.

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If possible get them dancing or expressing themselves with art, music or drama. Any self-expression is good.

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Try many activities and hobbies. Let them participate in choosing. Whatever they choose, try to do it. They can learn that trying is a good habit. Help them give 100% effort.

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Eventually you’ll ﬁnd something they’re a natural in or have a talent for. Support this activity and do not let them withdraw on a whim. They need to believe they’re capable. It takes time to gain expertise.

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Give them lots of practice socialising. They may have just one or two friends, ﬁne! Foster and nurture these relationships.

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When they express themselves, even in anger, support them. Don’t squash them.

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Help them to laugh at themselves and life and not be so serious. Smile often!

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Teach them how they were self-rejecting a little while after the event. Who Am I?

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Give them lots of practice at including themselves. Start where you know they’ll be accepted. Positive experiences help!

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Writing or drawing in a journal daily will be very beneﬁcial. Teach them how their self-talk determines their happiness.

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Talk as a family about feeling, fears, and who we are and can be, even if the hiding child just listens, they’re learning.

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They are loving, gentle souls with more fear than most. Give them encouragement and positive, honest feedback about their talents and traits. They’re wise within.

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Hiding children take a long time to come out of their shell. Enormous patience is required. Believe, visualise and name who they can be and it will come.

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Encourage them to show their excitement, joy and feelings on their faces. Others love receiving positive cues this way.

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Avoid hiding with their aloof, blank mask.

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Try not to respond from your shadow child. Be a light child yourself in response to life.

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Offer incentives and rewards.

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Choose your battles. Say ‘Yes’, where possible.

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Seek professional help with others when you/they need support and encouragement!

To be seen or not to be seen? This is the question. Invisibility guarantees pain. Many choose this pain as false protection from possible external rejection if they’re really seen. This is self-rejection in action.

Who Am I?

HOLLERING CHILD Hollering children demand to be seen and heard! This is the most articulate and visible of the four shadow children. However while they’re loud and passionate, bossy and controlling, they usually DO NOT speak about their pain and vulnerabilities. They just get loud about other things. This hollering child will hound you and hound you with their needs and wants, often relying on the fact that you’ll tire before they do and give in! These children are not always so loud. At times silence, withholding or moodiness can be their cry for help. The hollering child can seem invincible, however the louder they are the more insecure they often are. They feel abandoned, unloved and alone when without structure and boundaries. They know deep down they’re not capable of all they say they are. They’re testing you and begging for limits to feel safe again, by being horrendous and selfish! These children can rule and dominate their families, friends and groups. They’re often harshly excluded. Hollering children give themselves as much if not more than they give you! They make enormous demands on themselves and have unrealistically high expectations. They push, force and hound themselves to prove they’re the best, but the goal posts keep moving and they never make it. Eventually they break under this load and then you hear them, angry and difficult, feeling a failure and unworthy but never letting on. To them, their failure proves they’re unlovable. Then they act like it and pay dearly for the consequences. They’re often very frustrated, blaming and perpetually misunderstood. Hollering children lose opportunities by hollering more and more. They have insatiable appetites, and even when offered something wonderful, will feel compelled to ask for more endlessly. Eventually the other withdraws the first offer and they end up with nothing. They have trouble managing their power. (May have the royal family, master~slave, god/desses archetypes).

Hollering Child - Helpful parenting tips •

Lots of reassurance and daily compliments are essential. These children need this to feel safe. Their loudness belies their insecurities.

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Teach them to express their true feelings and not get loud, bossy and arrogant when vulnerable. You can sense this, explore and help them reveal their fears, share yours.

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Teach them that pretending they’re never wrong will alienate others. Get them to admit their mistakes at home and love them and celebrate their honesty.

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Help them to be sensitive to their impact on others. Teach them that others have wonderful talents too and there is enough room for everyone to do well.

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These children are very achievement driven. They can be angry so often that they forget to be passionate and ‘for something’ instead. It is one or the other.

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Teach them to use their enormous energies to uplift and encourage others. They have the ability to give and attract a lot of love.

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They have huge hearts and need to care about groups of people, to be actually contributing in some way, even with younger kids sporting teams etc.

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They can hate themselves because they’re in trouble so often and so angry and deﬁant. Give them many face saving opportunities to express their light side.

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Name their strengths, leadership potential, generosity, gentleness and ability to support and appreciate others all the time!

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Even if these qualities are not evident yet they are the light side of the hollering child. If you keep reﬂecting these traits they’ll deliver.

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Give them strong boundaries and respect. Speak to them as if they are older/adult and speak without losing your temper. They love people believing in them.

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Teach them the consequences of their arrogance and shadow after the event, adult to adult. Brainstorm alternate choices.

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Share stories about when others rejected you when you sense they’re vulnerable. They will often be challenged and rejected by groups but be too ashamed to share. Who Am I?

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Even if they don’t tell you about these events help them with stories on this theme, they’ll learn. Make them up if need be.

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Listen to the Trevorina and Wally stories in the Far Trekkers C.D. series by Archetrek.

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Be gentle and give cuddles and affection so they feel safe to show their softer side. They need more practice in this area.

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Praise them whenever they take responsibility and admit mistakes. Go over the top!

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Speak about life in terms of their potential and future. They want to make a difference.

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Humility, vulnerability, honesty and gentleness are the key for them. If they can express in these ways they will be happy and fulﬁlled.

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They’re nowhere near as tough as they’d have you believe! Don’t fall for it. They’re as frightened and unsure as everyone else. They tend to fall further, because they risk more!

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Try not to respond from your shadow child. Be a light child yourself in response to life.

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Offer incentives and rewards.

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Choose your battles. Say ‘Yes’, where possible.

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Seek professional help with others when you/they need support and encouragement!

When we’re angry we (unconsciously) believe we have no ability to attain what we want or need. We try to force our way through, which guarantees failure. Admit to feeling vulnerable and the results will often change.

Who Am I?

Identifying how you try to solve your shadow Child’s pain and self-rejection You have now established your shadow child (holding, hurting, hiding or hollering). How we solve feeling hurt and rejected is reﬂected in the two sub-categories we choose from the following set of 13. These solutions don’t work!

there is a formula for success in life, and if they can just get it right, then they’ll be happy. They are determined, motivated and often living out of balance with the feminine. They are high achievers with high ambitions. They have incredibly high expectations and work hard to prove their worth. They loathe failure and can fear inactivity. Live in the now and as if you’ve ‘made it’. Your choices will improve and you’ll get further. Desperation pushes your dreams away.

For example: I’m a hollering achieving tomboy child in the shadow and I revert to being an achieving tomboy to solve the pain of rejection and the failure of my hollering to get my needs met! I become more masculine and competitive, forcing myself to achieve more and more in an effort to feel accepted and loved. These behaviours exacerbate my dilemma, because I’ve not attended to the real issue – a lack of self-acceptance and love. When I holler at my family and drive myself into the ground, it is my shadow child’s way of saying “Help! Please love and reassure me!” My experience is that they all run a mile, every time.

2. Adventurous Child

The only real solution, whatever your combination within the child archetype, is to stop rejecting yourself, take responsibility and become self-loving, moving into the light child when we feel hurt and overwhelmed.

They thrive on intensity and can create it to excess. They see endless places, possibilities and frontiers to explore. They either honour and value or de-value life depending on their choices. They can try to cheat death and be adrenalin junkies. Sometimes they don’t feel alive unless exposing themselves to danger. They have high energy and compete with fellow adventurers. As natural risk takers, they must be careful and responsible!

We must meet our own needs and ask for support clearly when we need it! 13 sub-categories have been identified. Which ones are you? Add the strongest two to your “H” shadow child and you have your detailed child description. These behaviours should be evident throughout your life as compulsive personality traits. Note the 13 traits often create even more problems and compound the dilemmas created from our shadow “H” child. Our combination of 2 sub-categories have proven to be an inadequate means of getting our needs met, feeling loved and healing our pain in the past, but we unconsciously go there again and again and again. Seeing them helps heal them. If these traits are our means of gaining love we will be dissatisfied, however they can be light traits if we’ve learnt to love ourselves first and taken responsibility to meet our needs.

Choose 2 or 3 from the following 13 1. Achieving Child The attitude of the Achieving child is ‘I can do it!’ They achieve as a means to gaining identity. If they have a time where they cannot achieve they become despondent and depressed, wondering, “Who am I now?” They can be competitive in their need to be the best. They are blindly striving for love and self-esteem. Unfortunately the goal posts keep moving and they never ‘make it’. They believe

Adventurous children appear fearless. They have been known to go on adventures from a very young age. Many often went without their parents’ permission or knowledge! They are very curious and learn though experience. Life and the world are theirs for the taking. They get easily bored without new challenges. They can become self-destructive in their constant need for the new and low boredom threshold. They will love to travel and go where few dare to go. Life is exciting and ever changing.

3. Black Sheep Child Black sheep children have been rejected all their lives. They attract and fall into the wrong crowd effortlessly and long to belong. Where they belong is with the outcasts/ gangs who often identify themselves in terms of being antiauthority figures, anti-rules, violent, brutal and destroying those things they feel excluded from. They become an anonymous member without individuality, more lost than ever. Often underprivileged and from the wrong side of the tracks, but not always, these children can escape into crime and seek instant gratification. They have no belief in ‘the system’ or in their ability to achieve or be given fair opportunities to succeed. Without knowing why, they inflict hurt on their loved ones (as much as they are hurting), often forcing them to turn away and reject them. They need to find out who they are and appreciate their talents, taking themselves seriously. Taking responsibility for their choices is imperative. You have an unusual but important life path, and there are people who can help you name your talents and believe in yourself. Belong to yourself and discover who you like being and ask, “Where can I contribute?”

Who Am I?

4. Chatterbox Child

7. Manic Child

Chatterbox children love to talk and talk and talk. They fear silence and ﬁll any void. They prattle about meaningless things because they fear what may come when they stop. Maybe I won’t like what I’m going to hear, maybe I’ll be criticised. I’ll keep talking and maybe they’ll forget. These children can also wear their parents out. They can disrupt classrooms and drive teachers mad. You’ll see this mentioned in every report. Many children have this tendency but not all keep it, fortunately.

Manic children are fast and running on full bore most of the time. They wear you out and are very loud. They don’t know when to stop and ﬁnd being conﬁned to a desk torture. They haven’t stopped long enough to listen intuitively to where they can go. They are running unconsciously from themselves. There is an innate fear within so they keep moving. Physical activities to help release their energy need to be part of their daily routine.

Teach them to listen to themselves and say what they really want to be heard. Spend an equal amount of time listening to others. You are worth listening to, but only when you’ve trusted yourself, stopped, listened within and thought about what to say ﬁrst! They so want to be liked. They are warm people who like people.

5. Enraged Child Enraged children have a strong sense of ﬁghting the world. They sense injustice and unfairness everywhere and don’t understand why they are so angry. Their rages can attract teasing and ridicule which will make them hate others. These are passionate souls who sense and express dysfunction and unexpressed truths in families, classrooms and groups. After a while they explode. They often have high levels of self-hatred. This is the true injustice, that they treat themselves as so unworthy of love. They are often scapegoats and can be easily provoked. Their reactivity is a problem and an expression of their huge pain. They feel unlovable and misunderstood. Their rage can become violent and few can handle them. They have huge passion and creativity and can bring new projects into being. Teach them to recognise signs of impending trouble and to speak earlier and clearly before losing control.

6. Fantasy Child Fantasy children have fabulous imaginations. They can drift along for hours in another world, obliviously to others. This can be a source of great creativity or can leave them scattered, aimless and disconnected. They often don’t know what is going on, and live in a half-hearted way, hoping not to attract any attention, especially any confrontation. They often become lost and can find connecting to self and others more and more difficult when they keep hiding in their imagination. When daydreaming excessively they underachieve and lose sight of their goals. These children have a fragility and sensitivity that can become magical when grounded. Balance is the key. Channel this talent to create fantasy stories, drawings or other expressions, through which the whole world can benefit and be inspired.

Who Am I?

They need to watch their diet carefully. Caffeine, food colourings and preservatives may be triggers. Sitting in front of TV’s, computers and videos after a time may set them off. Meditations, sport and self-expressive activities will help ground them. Non-violent martial arts will also help. Once they’ve learnt to connect within and harness this amazing energy they will be very creative and make exceptional contributions to others. Balance is all!

8. Mischievous Child Mischievous children love to be playful and disruptive. They love setting schemes in motion and seeing chaos result. They can be chronic underachievers who find it hard to believe in their talents, grow up or take themselves seriously. They can be destructive, becoming hell bent on ruining whatever is happening around them. They can become known for this role and find it incredibly difficult and threatening to leave it. They fear failure and ridicule yet give them to others endlessly. They fear they’re inadequate and hide in their naughtiness and not really trying. They lose out and become more and more frustrated and self-destructive. They can be wonderfully vibrant and playful in the light when more mature. They must learn when the time is to play and when the time is to work and be self-honouring. Believe in yourself!

9. Mute Child Mute children hide in silence. They are naturally shy and retiring but when hurt become mute and invisible. Their needs and feelings are lost behind a mask. It doesn’t matter and they haven’t anything worthwhile to say, so why speak? This self-rejection is paralysing. It becomes like a disease as they become less proﬁcient in articulating themselves, with little practice. We can see their pain but they treat our queries defensively and withdraw further. It becomes a stubborn point of pride not to speak. This is dreadful for everyone and can take days, weeks or months at rare times to break out. Don’t slip into this depressive cycle. Speak the minute you feel a little lost, low or hurt, and practice talking as much as possible. Mute is never the right choice for you when hurt. We long to hear from you. Listen to yourself and then tell us!

10. Nature Child Nature children have an innate love and respect for animals, the earth and all in nature. They understand how to ‘be’ and will spend hours happily outside exploring and observing life. They do not need a lot of company. Others can be amazed by their independence and self-sufficiency. They suffer if cut off from nature. They would love a pet/s. They can become self-isolating and lose their ability to relate to others. When they lose confidence in themselves and their relationships, they withdraw, exacerbating the problem. They retreat outside when life gets too intense indoors, and do not enjoy emotional intensity and conflict. Naturally gentle and sensitive, their wisdom is connected to nature and the earth’s natural cycles. The more they honour and live in harmony with this path the happier and wiser they are. Relationships are needed to balance your life. Trust in yourself and share yourself and your wisdom.

11. Perfect Child Perfect children love to please and stay out of trouble. These children have a lot at stake in keeping up this image. They can be very helpful, caring, polite, compliant, good and dutiful. They can pretend and need to be perfect. They’ll be hurt and deﬁant if someone questions their ‘goodness’. They will lie to preserve their image and it can take parents a long time to realise they’re not as perfect as they say, thank goodness! It is incredibly limiting and false being perfect all the time. It is unreal and inauthentic. Their excessive niceness is a cover that others become suspicious of, and a sign of self-rejection. They must honour their needs and be real at all costs! Being perfect does not equate to being happy or fulﬁlled. Make mistakes, speak out and dare to be uniquely and colourfully all of you! You are wonderfully human and more than enough!

12. Sighing Child Sighing children are very heavy to be around. They have a focus on what they have missed out on in life and unconsciously fear the risks involved when choosing to go for love and joy. They’ve decided it is safer to stay here (sigh), where they can’t be heartbroken and disappointed again. We all have wounded hearts at times, but this child chooses to stay there, alienating themselves from others and guaranteeing more pain in the process. They hope to gain love and attention from others due to the large amount of suffering and even tragedy they’ve endured. There are no solutions to their plight and no-one has suffered quite like them. They refuse to grow up or take responsibility. They draw others to pity them, wear them out and move on. This is very toxic behaviour. They say they try but it doesn’t quite work out (sigh).

Grow up and live! Have the courage to leave your suffering and feel joy!

13. Sporty/Tomboy Child Sporty/tomboy girls and boys are energetic, loud, often sporty and very competitive. They have a well-developed masculine side and under-developed feminine side. Tomboys (girls) wouldn’t wear a dress if you paid them. They loathe ‘girly’ girls. They feel equal to the boys and are often proving themselves against them, even if it hurts! Both are endlessly proving themselves, which becomes a jail restricting their choices. These boys and girls can develop difﬁculties coming to terms with their vulnerabilities and/or femininity in teenage years. They hate ‘losers’ and are often very critical of others and themselves. They have a zest for life. They throw themselves into life and are passionate or angry depending on how they’re feeling. They want to win and can be poor losers. Teach them to respect themselves and others and that going for life 100% is a winning attitude, no matter what the result. Now you have a full proﬁle of your shadow Child archetype. Remember, we all have the light child within us, which will attract and create new life opportunities! Magic! When hurting, you go into your version of the shadow child. There are endless variations here: Holding, nature, black sheep child When facing pain and change you retreat to nature and your friends/gang, attempting to lose yourself. Hurting, perfect, fantasy child This person solves feeling hurt and rejected by trying to be perfect and live up to assumed expectations, and then retreats to their fantasies. Hurting, sighing, achieving child This person will speak about their tragedies and suffer loudly as if their suffering is an achievement. They will be martyrish about how much they do. Hiding, mute, nature child This person solves their pain by retreating to nature and keeping silent and mute, hoping no-one notices. Hollering, adventurous chatterbox child This person solves their pain by creating new challenges and telling everyone about them! Hollering, manic, enraged child This person will become manic, blaming and angry and make theirs and others lives a misery.

Who Am I?

DISCOVERING YOUR ARCHETYPES The quest begins ...

ACTOR - STORY TELLER - ENTERTAINER See also networker, evangelist, artist, gypsy, Gods Hermes and Orpheus, Goddess Hecate and reporter journalist

Light Authentic, performing, wise, passionate, honest, emotionally brave, dramatic, true, colourful, touching, experiencing all, transforming, teaching, opening others, inspiring, enriched, generous, sharing.

Shadow Gossiping, manipulative, exaggerating, alienating, attentionseeking, self-absorbed, overly dramatic, insensitive, ﬁghting for the spotlight, disconnected to true story, fears stability, addicted to intensity.

captivating or melodramatic

Questions Are you an open book about your life, usually revealing all? Have you often been in trouble for telling another’s private (personal) story? Do you love being the focus of attention entertaining others? Do you love to exaggerate when retelling stories? Can you be a ‘drama-queen’ who thrives on emotional intensity?

Description They are born entertainers and natural performers, whether on the professional stage or the stage of their own circle. They may be shy at times, but when it’s their turn to shine in an arena they’re comfortable with, they know how to turn on that switch and bring the drama to life. They tend to be completely open about every aspect of their lives. They find it difficult to understand why others don’t share the entirety of their lives as they do. They often get into trouble by repeating a ‘good story’ when others wished it to remain private. They’re literally shocked and heartbroken to have done the wrong thing without thinking. The actor/storyteller has a unique gift to communicate dramatically with passion and flair. They share their experiences with humour, poignancy, colour and insight. They love the drama of life. They travel the full spectrum of emotions through many varied experiences. Being emotionally courageous, the actor/storyteller can move their audience to greater depths within. Additionally, they have the ability to make stories believable, significant and life changing. Never let the facts get in the way of a good story! Exaggeration, flair and dramatic licence are faithful companions to the actor/storyteller. An actor/storyteller has healed their own life when they can speak about personal events in entertaining ways to an audience. They will not speak about events when they’re still too painful and haven’t been integrated. You know they’re healing themselves the minute the story becomes public. The world is their stage and everyone is their audience, to be won over or lost. Historically this archetype includes the travelling minstrels, Greek choruses and Shakespearian actors. Those with this archetype love to travel symbolically and literally, to enrich their language and wisdom. With this archetype, the person often dramatically changes their physical appearance, consciously or unconsciously revealing the roles they are currently exploring.

Who Am I?

The Light Actor/Storyteller Their purpose is to understand their unique gift and language. They convey their stories to inspire, awaken and touch others’ lives. Very gifted actor/story tellers bring great wisdom and insight through their stories as a teaching tool for others. They value every life experience and bring the full spectrum of experience to their self-expression. Their emotional courage and depth are very engaging. They can be wise in their understanding of life and people. They have a gift for creating original stories in a variety of forms, through the written word or performance, musically or artistically. Those working this archetype well have great energy and good boundaries. They honour their gift for dynamic selfexpression knowing they will tend towards depression if denied. They love powerful, inspiring and emotionally honest expression. They can shock others at times to bring more life and truth to proceedings. They enjoy holding the stage, but know when to step back. The light polarity of this archetype reveals great versatility, credibility and integrity. Their stories are grounded and authentic. They meet the challenge of knowing their own true story. The myths and legends of their own family can fascinate them. They are very aware of their feelings and thoughts and communicate with brutal honesty. They understand the power of storytelling and do not exploit the process. They are self-nurturing following the post ‘performance’ depression and know when their performance is complete. Actor/storyteller/entertainers are very inﬂuential and recognise their own innate ability to manipulate or persuade. They direct this powerful gift for constructive ends.

The Shadow Actor/Storyteller The shadow actor/storyteller can be addicted to the dramas of life. They may need intense emotion to feel alive. They become emotionally exhausted and draining to others. They exaggerate their lives and alienate others with their endless dramas and storytelling. They become perpetual role players who are unreal, shallow and lack any authenticity. They don’t know what they feel or who they are, and can consciously hide their insecurities behind their entertaining persona. They can be delusional about their beliefs, values and talents. Their stories can vary greatly from one day to the next. It is very difﬁcult for them to navigate their way through life when continually working through stories. They can become great attention seekers and be extremely manipulative. Their stories can be very destructive, tinged with a bleak cynicism. When they are unhappy and disconnected they will tend to gossip about other people. They may weave stories and

Who Am I?

fabricate lies about themselves, other people and their actions. This always returns to them in a very painful way.

Actor/Storyteller in Childhood As children they will be very loud, colourful and known as entertainers. This is an extroverted archetype even though they will have their moments of shyness. Essentially, they want to bring things alive for everyone. They can be a complete delight to be around and a wonderful companion, particularly when they are authentic and connected to their true selves. They love to touch others’ lives. They will love the theatre, books, TV and videos and be mesmerised by them. Other people’s stories will fascinate them and they will have been burnt by repeating things others wished to remain private. They are very sensitive though appear emotionally robust. They may not be trusted if they fail to develop discernment to respect others’ stories. With maturity they will learn when to share and when to be silent, though it will nearly kill them! Encourage self-expression, storytelling and writing. Do not cramp their natural style. This is their genius so don’t polish it into something bland. Teach them to inspire and express truthfully through their stories. Help them to understand their own story and purpose and, even though others are sometimes overwhelmed by their intensity and emotional colour, never shame them. Their gift is self-expression. It will serve them well if true. Teach them to read when enough is really enough. Sensitivity to others, their audience, is an essential skill. Let them learn to share the centre stage so others don’t resent them. Attention seeking and exaggerating stories to excess will alienate the actor/storyteller from others. They may be described as liars. That is usually not their intent. The boy who cried, ‘Wolf’, had this archetype. Teach them to be honest and emotionally honest so they don’t wear out their audience. Help them to realise that every experience will enrich their performances in life.

Actor/Storyteller Examples Billy Connolly after years of sexual and physical abuse has been able to heal himself (with help), by bringing humour and insight to his entertaining career. His comedy/storytelling was cathartic, aiding his healing and that of others. Authors Frank McCourt and Bryce Courtney. Actors Lawrence Olivier, Ruth Cracknell, Russell Crowe, Bert Newton, Don Lane, Robin Williams, Bette Midler and Robert Duvall - a great actor who was known for repeating his friends private details in large arenas!