skateboarding. art. music. counter culture.
Cover: Anthony Carpenter / Wallride / Photo by Matt Budjinski
WHAT’S INSIDE Letter from the Editor Survivors Around You Hibernation Matt Budjinksi Justin Vitale Positive Hype
Created by Chris Miller Instagram: @digimil email: positiveinstincts@yahoo.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/positiveinstincts1
It’s been quite awhile since I have been able to put out an issue and I want to apologize for the hiatus. Between School, work, surgery, and life in general things got a little out of hand and I had to tend to the things that were most important. Obviously, things have calmed down a bit and I am recovered from surgery. I want to thank all of you who are reading this for still checking out the magazine and the things I find interesting and noteworthy of sharing. This is definitely a labor of love to put together but it’s truly a lot of fun for me. Now that I am feeling better it is back to work full steam ahead. For the rest of 2014 I look forward to putting out more issues and featuring a lot more artists, skateboarders, musicians, and positive things going on in the New York area. So stick with us and I promise you won’t be disappointed. Sometimes, you have to go through a lot of adversity to come out on top and do even better things. Our first feature in this issue can speak a lot to that much more than just a simple surgery and a few hectic months will. Marie McGrory is survivor of Hodgkin’s lymphoma who now runs a blog dedicated to sharing the stories of survivor’s everywhere. In addition to her great story, I am sharing with you two of my friends who shoot amazing photos. In our next issue I look forward to bringing all of the energy that Spring has to offer into the mix. So keep with us and if you have any submissions please email them to me. I would love to feature work from some of our readers all over the world. This magazine is all about positivity and not just limited to the New York area. Once again, thank you for your continued support and I hope you enjoy the rest of this issue. Sincerely, Chris Miller Editor & Publisher
Survivors Around You Interview by: Chris Miller
Photos by Michelle Rattinger
Marie McGrory is one of those special people that as soon as you meet her you can feel the positive energy bursting from her persona. I was lucky enough to be introduced to her by her roommate and longtime friend of mine, Michelle Rattinger. When Marie was a child she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. The battle she went through was well fought and fortunately she came out of it a very strong and inspiring person. Today, she competes in triathlons, works as a photo editor for National Geographic, and is the founder of the blog Survivor’s Around You: a blog for cancer survivor’s to share their stories of hope with the rest of the world. I caught up with Marie in her hometown of New York City and we sat down to do this interview. For more information please visit her website: www.survivorsaroundyou.com
What is Survivors Around You and what was your inspiration to start that site? I think it came from a collision of a lot of things. I had blood cancer when I was ten. You know, your hair falls out and you’re sick. It’s a very physical illness; everyone that sees you knows that you have it. When you’re a kid it’s easy to feel isolated. I was the only kid in my school that was bald and sick looking, and you can’t really escape it. Even though you know your hair is going to grow back and it will all be ok someday, it’s really hard to imagine that and I didn’t really have anyone to look up to. I didn’t know any other kid that had survived cancer. I thought only very old people got cancer because that was my experience when I was ten years old. So I think as I got older and had more time to reflect on what I think I would have wanted back then, one of the biggest ways I thought I could give back was by sharing stories of people who have had their hair grown back and have moved on with their lives. Cancer doesn’t continue to take over their whole world anymore. So I started it just a few months ago now and I’m trying to find, I mean there are hundreds of thousands of survivors just of pediatric cancers out there. So, there are a lot of stories and I am just looking to share. What’s it like when you approach people to share their stories? Is it difficult to connect with people and ask them to share that personal part of their lives? It’s actually been incredibly easy, probably only because I’m a survivor as
well. So, you know, they say “metaport” and I know exactly what a “metaport” is, I had one myself. We connect on a lot of levels. I think when you’re a kid you are kind of discouraged from getting too close to other patients because a lot of people don’t make it and a lot of people have very different stories. Doctor’s don’t want you to get too close to another child and have that child not make it. It’s very hard on kids. So a lot of us were never really close to each other even though we had this very similar and unique experience. So, when I reconnect with people it’s like this story they’ve had bottled up inside them for years and haven’t talked about it. Most of the survivors are in their twenties and thirties now and haven’t reflected on their experiences in a long time. So, for me it’s been a very fulfilling experience and I feel like for other survivors it is much the same thing. I think it’s easier to talk about because it’s a shared experience. Do people approach you at all about the blog to be a part of it? Yeah, it’s been sent around. I get emails now and then from a friend of a friend of a friend who had sent it to them and want to get their story out too. It must be a very cathartic experience to be able to share that personal experience and putting it out there to help others. I know fatigue is a very common complaint among people with cancer among other things. On the toughest days what was it that kept you positive knowing the possibility that you could be one of the people that might not make it?
I think having family and friends just be present. I think more than anything it taught me the power of your presence in someone’s life. I know a lot of the time, especially because all my friends were 10 years old… I didn’t know what to say, so they definitely didn’t know what to say. You know a lot of people do things like bring you cookies to make you feel better and you can’t eat cookies. You’re too sick sometimes to eat at all. People want to make nice gestures but cancer patients are in a very difficult and delicate state, we don’t need anything besides your presence. I really learned how important that was. Sometimes people don’t want to reach out or say anything because they are scared that they don’t know what to say. Showing up to play a game of UNO is much better than staying home because you’re scared to say the wrong thing. I think we all understand it’s a position no one ever expects to be in and know how to talk about it. You don’t really need to say anything at all; just being there is enough. Tell me about that first moment you realized you had made it and things were going to be ok. It’s definitely a world that you never think you will be in, and once you are in it you never think that you’ll get out of it. A lot of people celebrate a “cancer-versary” for the day they went into remission, but for me it was a very weird transition feeling. There’s not the day you have cancer and the day you are fine. I definitely remember the day my first scans came back clear and how incredible that feeling was and knowing that it was gone. But I still had preventative radiation for three weeks. I had to get 2 days of scans multiple times a year for 5 years after that. So it leaves
you and there is a moment of complete joy when you get those first clear scans back but it doesn’t just disappear. There is a lot of transition back to a “normal” life. Well about that normal life, you definitely seem to be doing more than most. You’re doing triathlons and running the blog. Is it because of what you went through that you feel like you need to push and get more out of life than the average couch potato? What made you want to start doing all of this? Yeah, I think that most paths I was put on were probably because of what I went through. It’s hard to tell because there is a before and after cancer. I know that I spent every day I was healthy enough to be out of bed in the art room in the hospital. After cancer I went to art school and pursued photography and that’s what I am doing for a living now. I started doing the triathlons with a group called Team in Training, which raises money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Lymphoma is what I had, so my family started doing them in support of me and all the people who didn’t make it, as well as all the people in the future that we want to make it through. So I did it because of what I had and to raise money not thinking I could do it. Then I saw my 50-year-old dad do it and it pushed me even more to do it [laughs]. I tell Michelle, and I tell everyone I know that they can do whatever they want. We are made to feel like this is the path someone else is on and it’s not something I can do, but no one knows what path then can do until they try it. So what are your goals for Survivor’s Around You?
The next feature I am going to do is on caregivers and family members. I want to show how much they do and sacrifice in what they do. I would like to get a group of survivors together to share all of our stories. I want to thank you for taking the time to meet with me and let me feature your blog. Are there any people you would like to thank for supporting what you do? A ba-jillion people [laughs]. Thank you to Sloan Kettering for saving my life and getting me to where I am today. My doctor
had photos of survivors on her wall, which I think is a part of what helped get me here. My family for being super supportive. My roommate, my boyfriend, and all my friends that have let me open up about this weird part of my life that I never really talked about before this. I thank them for being understanding and supportive.
Hibernation Words by: Chris Miller
Photos by Matt Budjinski
be packing LES, Tribeca, and the other parks and streets daily. I’m already getting excited for the long summer days of cruising around with my crew and capping it off with a rooftop BBQ and some adult sodas. It’s so close I can taste it, can’t you? It’s everything I dreamed of when I was skating in the suburbs of Lake Worth, Florida after school. I always wanted to skate the city and everything it had to offer. I’ll take the bad with the good anyday because I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else by New York.
As someone who grew up in Florida, I’m counting the winter of 2013 as my first real winter... and it sucks. Too cold, can’t skate, snow every week and every glimmer of hope was dashed by a new storm. I’m missing the advantage of being able to skate everyday as long as I could bear the humdity and heat of Miami and West Palm Beach. But I’m starting to see the real “grit” that they talk about when people say east coast skaters. I still got some sessions in, and all winter long I saw clips from people going out there and making it happen. We’ve got places like KCDC, Homage, and House of Vans to name a few winter havens from the weather. Even though they bulldozed all of the new stuff that went up under the BQE last summer, the ol’ favorites are still there, and the BQE itself provided some cover from the snow. Yes, it’s hard, but there is hope within sight. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter my friends. Pretty soon it will be warming up and with that everyone will be coming out of what I call “skate hibernation.” The big companies will be touring through the city and kids will
So let’s forget about the cold, bitter winter we’ve had here in the northeast and let’s focus on what’s to come in the next few months. Prime time is coming my friends. Get ready to start putting away those winter coats and break out the shorts and tank tops. The season of sun is upon us, even if it feels like walking into a meat locker every time we step outside today. Just writing this has me amped to go hop on my board and cruise around. It could be that I’m finally recovered from surgery that’s adding to my excitment but I don’t care. I’ll see you in the streets as I’m rolling by.
Anthony Carpenter / Kickflip
Matt Budjinski Words by Chris Miller
Photos by Matt Budjinski
I first met Matt through friends in South Florida with the Shred Shed family. He’s an all around good guy who is always happy and in a good mood. I’ve never seen him get angry or vulgar with anyone. He moved to New York a few years before I did and had everything dialed by the time I got here. I owe him a great deal for showing me around and helping me plant my own roots in Brooklyn. In addition to being fun to skate with, he is a great photographer too. Here is a sample of some of his work. For more you can visit his website: www.mattbudjinski.com
Full name, age, hometown, and where you live now? Matt Budjinski. 33. West Palm Beach, Florida. Brooklyn, New York. How did you get into photography/skating? Did you see yourself heading in the direction you are going now? I guess subscribing to all the big skate mags growing up. Guys like Daniel Harold Sturt, Grant Brittain, and Spike Jones blew me away with what they were doing. Like skating, I fell in and out of photography over the last 10 years. In Florida, skateboarding was the most interesting subject for me to shoot. Then coming here the inspiration is endless. I’ve lately been shooting more architectural images, but still love shooting skateboarding (if it’s not 9 degrees).
Justin Vitale Interview by: Chris Miller
Photos by Justin Vitale
Full name, age, hometown, and where you live now? Justin Vitale. Port Washington, New York. Toronto, Ontario (Canada). How did you get into photography/skating? Did you see yourself heading in the direction you are going now? I got into skating long before photography. When I was growing up in Toronto it was the fad in school and it was my access point to make friends, everyone guy in my grade was involved with it. I had only skated a few months before I moved back to Long Island New York around age 12 and then suddenly I was the only one with a skateboard. I wasn’t very good but I got other people involved. They quickly got better than me but that wasn’t the point. I moved around a lot and upon moving into one apartment I met another skater in front of my building and we became quick friends. We’d go out everyday and try new tricks. I still wasn’t very good but it was all I had and I pushed at it. Eventually I got pressured into trying things I knew I couldn’t do but I’d try them anyway. Honestly, that was my favorite part about skating. It was all about progression and forgetting
what the fuck you were comfortable with. I’ll never forget what it felt like stepping onto my board back then, I’ll probably never experience a more clean mental slate. It was all about the ground, the sky, and what you were trying to do. Nothing can ever be that simple - especially now that I’m 27. Photography also first came when I was a little kid. I remember I was putting away family photo’s with my mom and we came across this double exposure. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, even though my mom kept telling me the camera just messed up. It took until I was in high school until I understood what had actually happened, and even then I still didn’t really care. Years went by after I graduated in 2004. With no plans, I struggled to find something I wanted to do that didn’t absolutely fucking bore me. I played music for a while, toured with a band and finally ended up in a photography class at Nassau Community College in 2007. Something clicked, and I fell in love with images. They seemed to explain this transient lifestyle I had grown so accustom to and made things permanent, I had a very hard time before this seeing things as secure and grounded. I could finally examine all these things that just flew by my eyes and examine them like specimens. It still took some time after that for me to bite the bullet and dedicate my life to finishing a higher education - and out of spite for myself I randomly Googled “art school in Canada”. I had a duel citizenship and figured, why the hell not?
Why Toronto and do you plan to move back to NY?
Toronto was a spur of the moment thought that ended up manifesting more than i had intended. I told my family I wanted to continue school and the situation dragged me to OCAD University, where I am currently finishing up my bachelors in photography. I plan on having a car loaded with my stuff waiting for me in the parking garage across the street on my last day of class, so I can get the fuck out of here as promptly as I possibly can. I don’t care about graduation ceremony - I do care about getting the fuck out of Toronto. My last move into my current apartment was my 27th. I’ve seen a lot of places, a lot of things…something about Toronto just doesn’t sit right. It’s kinda like when you eat chinese food from the mall, you just get that feeling. I could describe it but I wont bother getting angry…After my 27th move in life, I have finally accepted New York as my home. My essential developing years were spent along side finely crafted bagels and honking horns. That’s all I want and all I need.
POSITIVE HYPE