Self care for Men

Self-care for Men By Ericka Foster

Men are tough. And men who have done some time might be the toughest. So when you throw out terms like “self- care” to a tough guy, they bounce off him l ike raindrops on an umbrella. Or do they?

" Men just deal with stress diffe rently ," Edward Hallowell, MD, explains in a WebMD article. Dr. Hallowell is founder of the Hallowell Center in Sudbury, Mass., and author of Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD ." Men tend to judge their value on performance, and the additional obstacles of being released from prison can be…stressful to say the least.

The physical signs of stress include fatigue, shortness of breath, chest pain, headaches, indigestion, skin problems, and sexua l dysfunction. But often men don’t think that they can slow down enough acknowledge those things. The emotional effects of stress such as sadness, insomnia, job satisfaction, anger, or mood swings can too easily be chalked up to “life”, instead of what the y really are – red flags.

Stress is going to happen. In fact, some stress is actually healthy, it can encourage a man to be more competitive and reach a goal. Self- care can help identify that stress and curtail it before it gets out of hand. "Men notoriously have trouble puttin g their feelings into words," says Dr. Hallowell in the WebMD article. "They bottle things up so they're more subject to the damages of stress." A man can use the technology at his fingertips to record or type in the things on his mind without feeling like a 12- year- old girl recording things in a journal. Those recordings can be kept safely behind a password where only he knows they exist, and they give him the chance to process his feelings.

Talk therapy

Fortunately, more and more people are talking about the benefits of therapy and mental health care . Olympic swimmer and gold medalist Michael Phelps is a spokesperson for Talkspace, a company offering teletherapy. In a recent episode of NBC’s This is Us, African American characters Sterling K. Brown and Omar Epps discuss the value of therapy. There are many opportunities for those re - entering society to participate in discussion groups. In

groups like AA, individuals can share problems amongst others with similar challenges.

Make go od choices

A large part of self- care is doing the things required to take care of yourself – eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc. Studies show that when you make one good choice, it empowers you to make additional good choices. After working out, it makes one more likely to eat a healthy snack instead of an unhealthy. In this case, self- care begets self- care. You can turn up your self- care by turning necessary

experiences into rituals – listening to your favorite song while showering, eating a healthy snack mindfully. If you have ever stepped out of the barbershop with a pep in your step, you know the value of feeling good about how you look. Making the choice to groom yourself is a form of self- care that will leave you a little more excited to be out in the world. Photo by Willow Wood

Work it out

Whether incarcerated or out in the world, physical exercise is a socially acceptable way for men to relieve stress. Whether you are working out a gym, or playing a pick - up game of basketball, exercise has been proven to release endorphins, the feel- good hormones. Even taking the time to go on a brisk walk during a work break can offer up the stress relieving benefits of exercise.

Get a hobby

For SO many of us, life falls into a cycl e of go to work, go home, watch TV, go to sleep. Go to work, go home, watch TV, go to sleep. If you’re lucky, at some point in that cycle, you are doing some of that with loved ones. And how often do we throw a drink in there “to relax”? But why not break that cycle with a hobby? Something simple like art, gardening, or building can be a way to relieve stress and take care of oneself.

Traditional ideas of masculinity can get in the way of doing things required to help us feel good. But both men and women need to take care of themselves.