Pender-Topsail Post & Voice
Opinion Thursday, July 8, 2021, Page 3A
Lori’s Stories
Lori Kirkpatrick Two girls are left without a mother, and members of the small town of Atkinson are wounded emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. As healing from this tragedy begins, we are forced to acknowledge the prevalence of an issue that no one wants to admit. It was an unspeakable crime, and it happened right here in our backyard. The recent tragic death of Brandy Lynn Price has brought the topic of domestic violence (DV), also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), to the forefront of local conversations. We cannot make sense of it, and we cannot change what happened to Brandy. All we can do is learn from the experience and try to prevent future IPV homicides from occurring. We can start by educating ourselves about domestic violence, and by seeing all DV victims as potential homicide victims. We know that domestic abuse is more likely when a potential perpetrator is unemployed, experiences isolation from other people, participates in heavy alcohol or drug use, or is depressed — all of which have increased during the last year. According to NCCADV (NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence), there were 61 domestic violence homicides in North Carolina in 2020. 22 of those were murder-suicides. Intimate partner violence accounts for 15 percent of all violent crime and 19 percent of domestic violence involves a weapon. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) reports that one in four women and one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. One in seven women and one in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed. More than 40 percent of LGBTQ+ college students report that they have experienced IPV in their current relationships. On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide. So how can we provide support to a loved one who we suspect or know is in an abusive relationship? If you worry someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, there are steps you can take to help. However, it is important to proceed carefully when approaching them. First, be sure to approach the person at a time and place that is safe and confidential. You can start by expressing concern with something like, “I am concerned someone may be hurting you,” or “I am worried about your safety.” Take the time to listen, and believe what your loved one tells you. Communicate that you care Continued on page 4A
Jefferson Weaver
Broody chickens and demon trucks I should have realized that the truck was possessed when I found the stash of switches in the glove compartment. The salesman assured me they were all old switches, that everything had been replaced. I really liked the ugly little truck, and figured it just needed some tender loving care. I had precisely enough cash to buy the truck and get the tags. So the Mighty Mouse came home — and soon began to smell like a rendering house rat. The truck had two undented fenders when I bought it, and a crack in the windshield that I was promised would pass inspection. The windows decided not to close. That really wasn’t an issue, since the front brakes locked up at 60 miles an hour on U.S. 74 one day. They released after a few minutes of screaming, burning and swerving, and I crept on into town. I called a friend with a tow truck, but he couldn’t hear me over the rusted tin can of a muffler (not to mention the roar of the windows that wouldn’t close). When I got stopped, I called my friend again, who dispatched a wrecker. He promised to call me with an estimate that he figured it was “maybe” two or three hundred bucks. It turned out the Mouse now had a box of stripped gears where it had once had a transmission. The level of repair was beyond my friend’s, so his mechanic suggested a specialist at the other end of the county. I made contact with the gentleman, who was kind of dour, who said he could handle the work for a price that sounded reasonable. Now, there were two things my beloved Miss Rhonda liked about that truck — the stereo system which was likely worth more than the truck, and the sunroof. When I arrived at the dour gentleman’s garage, the sunroof was shattered, and rain had poured into the cab. He said it arrived in that condition. The wrecker driver swore it was intact when he left it. The stereo was ruined, of course. Several months later, I was told that the replacement transmission couldn’t be found closer than California, and which would cost an additional “five or six hundred” dollars. No, the money that I had already paid down couldn’t be refunded. No, he didn’t want to buy the truck. So began a series of misadventures; I would stop by his shop every few days and rearrange the tarp (which was stolen) to protect what was left of the interior. I fixed the window switches, but the battery was stolen — twice. I am fairly sure that had automobiles been invented when Dante wrote The Inferno, there would have been a level of Hell
Jefferson Weaver where a truck owner had to keep fighting with tarp and battery thieves, whilst being flogged by a mechanic. Eventually I paid my penance and my bill, and we headed happily home, once again a two-car family. Miss Rhonda and I spent a Saturday making and installing a metal replacement for the sunroof, and managed to get the windows to roll up. That was a major blessing, since the next week, her car had to go in the shop, and I had to drive her to work. The second or third day, we were caught in a thunderstorm that produced a tornado that seemed to follow us most of the way home. That was when we discovered that the patch wasn’t exactly sealed, and the roof collected rainwater. The water would spill out when the truck turned hard right. Unfortunately, the water had a tendency to pour on whomever happened to be in the passenger seat. My wife didn’t like me very much for a few days. That thunderstorm preceded a tropical storm, during which one of the rear wheels flew off. In the dark. In the middle of nowhere. We later limped the truck (minus all but two lugs on the runaway wheel) to our farm, where a slow but meticulous friend replaced the lugs. That was after the auto parts store, 20-plus miles away, finally gave us the right lugs. On the second trip. During the time the truck was lame, two chickens made their nests inside, and went broody. Why they could defend their eggs so viciously against humans yet allow a coon to eat them is beyond me, I am confident that the demon residing in the truck had something do with the demise of the
Roadside assistance for older drivers Dear Savvy Senior, I would like to get my wife and I set up with some type of roadside assistance service in case we get a flat tire or our battery conks out. Can you recommend some good and affordable services for retirees on a budget? Too Old to Fix a Flat Dear Too Old, Getting set up with a roadside assistance service you can call on day or night if your vehicle breaks down is a smart idea, and can provide you and your wife some real peace of mind. Here are some different options to look into that help you find a plan. Already covered For years, auto clubs like AAA were the only option drivers had when it came to roadside assistance, but today you have lots of choices. Most roadside assistance plans provide services like towing, flat-tire changes, jump-starting a battery, lostkey or lockout services, fuel delivery and help with stuck vehicles. Before you start shopping for a roadside assistance plan, you first need to find out if you already have coverage, or have access to inexpensive coverage that you’re not aware of. For example, if you drive a vehicle that is still under war ranty, there’s a good chance you’re already covered. Most auto manufacturers now include comprehensive roadside assistance coverage for free when you buy a new or certified used car. This typically lasts as long as the basic warranty, but not always. Be sure you
check. Also check your auto insurance provider, your credit card issuers and cell phone service providers. Many of these services provide different variations of roadside assistance as add-on plans that cost only a few dollars per year, or they’re free. But be aware that many of these services are limited in what they cover. When investigating these options, find out the benefit details including: Who’s covered (individuals and vehicles); how many roadside-assistance calls are allowed each year (three or four is typical); the average response time per service call; and the towing rules on where they will tow (to the nearest repair shop, or one that you choose) and how far (about 5 miles for basic plan is common, although some plans might cap the amount they pay for a tow at $100 or less). Auto clubs If you find that you aren’t covered, or you want a better roadside plan than what’s currently available to you, you’ ll want to check out auto/motor clubs. Most of these clubs offer two or more levels of membership depending on how much roadside assistance you want and are willing to pay for, and they often provide a variety of discounts on things like
hotels, rental cars and other services. One of the best known and longest running clubs, AAA (aaa.com) offers comprehensive services and has an extensive network of more than 40,000 roadside assistance providers, which usually means fast response times. Costs vary widely from $48 to $162 per year depending on where you live and the plan you choose, plus an additional fee for adding a family member. Some other clubs to consider that may be a little less expensive include Allstate Motor Club (allstatemotorclub.com); AARP Roadside Assistance (aarproadside. com) for AARP members only; Better World Club (betterworldclub.com); BP Motor Club (www.bpmotorclub.com); Good Sam (goodsamroadside.com); and GM Motor Club (gmmotorclub. com). On-demand assistance Another new money saving option to consider is pay-on-demand roadside assistance services like Urgently (urgent.ly) and Honk (honkforhelp.com). If you use a smartphone and live in their service area, these non-membership app-based services will let you call for help via smartphone, and will only charge you for the assistance you need at a low price. Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.
chicks-to-be. When we moved, the truck developed not one but two flat tires en route. Thankfully they were slow leaks, and with the application of several expensive cans of Fix-a-flat, we made our destination just before the radiator blew. The Mouse was allowed to sit to one side and brood, planning its next move. One lovely spring day, I whimsically decided to see if I could get the Mouse started. I had visions of using it to run around Valhallasboro, hauling hay and logs, fixing fence while Disney-esque birds, dogs and horses sang happy songs to encourage my work, while my overalls stayed immaculate. A new battery, a little starting fluid, and some fresh fuel, and the Mouse roared back to life. I was fairly sure there was a bluebird on my shoulder as I cheerfully drove around the pasture with the windows down, loosening up things that had set idle for entirely too long. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, indeed, with some yee-haw for good measure. Then the truck wouldn’t stop. There was zero brake pressure. I had adjusted the idle screw too far, too, so there was no slowing down. I kept turning circles in the pasture, frightening the horses, the ducks, and even the geese, which is quite an accomplishment. Finally, I aimed the truck at a little rise that I was sure would cause it to slow down enough for me to wreck that gold-plated transmission. The Mouse roared over the rise like one of those offload commercials — except in this case, the truck wasn’t blasting through the wide open spaces, but toward a grove of mature oaks and pines. Somehow, I got the truck to slow down enough that it just barely bumped the largest of the trees. And there the truck sat for two years, home to chickens, cats and the occasional possum. I finally pulled it out the other day, intent on moving it to the back of the barn for repairs or an exorcism, whichever came first. It promptly stopped crossways in the driveway, blocking everything. With the application of multiple tow straps, a chain, four-wheel-drive and a sacrificial chicken, I finally got the Mouse moving again — and it ran directly into the compost barrel, but at least it stopped. One of these days, I might try swapping a battery from another vehicle, pumping up the tires, cleaning out the pine straw, and seeing if the old girl can finally be turned into a utility vehicle. But for now — I’m content to let sleeping trucks lie, especially since we have a broody hen in need of a nest.
My Spin
Tom Campbell
Who will bag the ice? The owner of a popular bait and tackle sport shop was bagging ice in his store one day when a friend came in. “What is the owner of the store, doing bagging ice,” the friend asked incredulously? “We’ve got a guy who is supposed to come in before we open, to bag ice for early anglers and hunters,” the owner responded. “But this guy likes to drink. Sometimes a lot. More and more frequently he gets so hung over he either doesn’t show up or is late coming in.” “Why do you put up with that,” the friend asked? Why don’t you just fire him?” “Don’t think I haven’t thought about it,” the owner admitted. But then who will bag the ice?” Indeed. That’s the question more and more employers are asking these days. Finding help has gotten increasingly hard. We heard about a popular seafood restaurant on our coast paying $100 just for potential employees to come
in for an interview. Another was paying $30 per hour for line cooks. I laughed at the CEO of Morgan Stanley, James Gorman, who recently issued an ultimatum to his employees: Be back in the office by September or else. Or else what? Our legislature is convinced workers will flood back to work if they end the $300 weekly federal unemployment benefits workers are receiving on top of state benefits. I’m not so sure. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports more Americans quit their jobs in April than in any month since they started keeping records. Five out of every 100 employees in hotels, restaurants, bars and retail reportedly quit. And it’s not just low-paying jobs. “More than 700,000 workers in the bureau’s mostly whitecollar category of ‘professional and business services’ left their jobs – the highest monthly number ever. Across all sectors and occupations, four in 10 employees now say they’ve considered peacing out of their current place of work,” says Derek Thompson in The Atlantic. Listen closely. I’m hearing the old 1977 Johnny Paycheck song, “Take this job and shove it. I ain’t workin’ here no more.” Is this a real worker revolution or just a post-pandemic anomaly? COVID changed things. Many of us lost family members, friends or co-workers to COVID, realize how fragile life is and want more balance in our lives. We got a taste of life without the stresses and pressures, without unreasonable bosses and abusive customers, uncomfortable work environments, daily commutes and childcare costs. Folks loved working in Continued on page 4A
Pender-Topsail Post & Voice, Thursday, July 8, 2021, Page 4A
Carolina Journal
Olympics needs more athletics, less politics
By Joshua Peters The Carolina Journal Special to the Post & Voice The saddest thing about the whole Gwen Berry incident is that media coverage, by and large, cares more about this individual’s activism than the extraordinary events that transpired that day for the athletes. DeAnna Price, the Olympian hammer thrower and 2019 U.S. hammer throw world champion, took first place during the U.S. Olympic Track & Field Trials, whereby she demonstrated extraordinary athleticism. NBC Sports reported, “[o] f Price’s six attempts in the women’s hammer final, five would have been good enough for first place… On her first throw of the final, she improved her own Olympic Trials record (77.82 meters). She broke her American record on her third attempt (79.98 meters) and then broke it again on her fifth throw (80.31). With
Campbell Continued from page 3A their pajamas, meeting on Zoom and a recent survey revealed 57 percent of workers in Raleigh-Durham want to continue having control over how, when and where their work gets done. They want to work from home. And they’ve got money: from March 2020 to April 2021 Americans put away 18.7 percent of their income into savings, the highest rate for so long a period since World War II. Workers in low, medium and even high pay scales are joining the cho-
that mark, she became the second woman to throw over 80 meters.” However, when searching the terms “DeAnna Price” and “Gwen Berry” on Google Trends, the results suggest Berry was the one that did something extraordinary relative to Price. Over the past several days, the search results show more interest in Berry’s activism than there had been for Price’s athletic achievement. At the peak, there was a 25-to-1 ratio, whereby Berry received more searches than Price. Furthermore, the related queries being searched associated with their names highlight what users are interested in knowing about them. For instance, the search term “DeAnna Price” includes an interest in “who is Deanna Price” and “Deanna Price and Brooke Anderson.” (Brooke Anderson came in second place.) In contrast, the search term “Gwen Berry” demonstrated users looked up phrases like “Gwen Berry anthem” and “Gwen Berry national anthem.” It is unfortunate to see this social behavior. I would like to think athletes would want to be recognized for their skill, determination, and sportsmanship and not their political attitude. While this highlights unfortunate social trends, Berry’s behavior was also highly self-centered. She publicly marginalized Price’s
achievement as indicated by search trends on the internet and disproportionate media coverage. To me, this is what makes her behavior reprehensible. While we can certainly debate whether how she “protested” was appropriate, what is without question is that Berry made it about her and not about the individual success of her fellow athletes and collective success of having the best athletes representing the country at the Olympics. I believe this growing trend in political activism in sports is starting to diminish its purpose. It buries athletic achievement under political activism when the whole purpose of sports is to promote the successes of athletes. Activism in sports has become a cheap opportunity for individuals to get notoriety for something other than their achievement. It speaks to the twisted mentality that has crept into the social conscious: a desire to be famous without being good at anything. In general, one should not pay any attention to these moments of narcissistic tendencies. After all, it is a free country, and Berry can freely express herself as she wishes. But when individuals, and society for that matter, has progressed into a state of mind that being good at something is not relevant, that an individual’s achievement should take the backseat because political activism is of “interest to
the public,” it is a sign that society has lost the way. It is a reoccurring theme coming from the political left. Everyone wants to be a Hollywood star, a political activist on TV, a social media influencer, or an executive at a company the moment they graduate college. (Because they know so much about the world after a semester of gender studies, critical race theory, and the male patriarchy.) However, these same individuals do not want to do the work unless it trends on social media—and even then, that may not be a motivating factor. Berry’s behavior is representative of a self-entitled generation of Americans that do not feel like they need to earn anything but at the same time desire fame, wealth, and status. At any rate, I hope Berry enjoys her newfound fame. I hope she gets interviews booked on the major progressive media outlets so she has the opportunity to speak “her truth.” I hope after the Olympic games she becomes a famous activist because she desires it. Joshua Peters is a philosopher and social critic from Raleigh. His academic background is in western philosophy, STEM, and financial analysis. Joshua studied at North Carolina State University (BS) and UNC Charlotte (MS). He is a graduate of the E.A. Morris Fellowship for Emerging Leaders.
rus of those wanting better than pre-COVID conditions. They’re optimistic they can live better. Workers have decided lawmakers haven’t and won’t raise the minimum wage. But they have figured out that they, not employers, have the bargaining power. They are aware that top execs of publicly held corporations are making 227 times the amount of median employee pay. They watch a stock market charting record high levels and see an economy on track to record a 7 percent GDP gain. Workers want to share in the good times.
What’s going to happen? We will get a clearer picture in 10 weeks when the $300 federal weekly unemployment benefit ends. I don’t claim to be an economist or political scientist, but I can spot trends. Employers are going to put on a full court press for more automation in everything from ordering your burger to accounting. But automation won’t replace the demand for humans. Somebody is still going to have to bag the ice…or at least supervise it. Wages are already increasing and will continue to rise. The big challenge for business is to find a balance
between higher employee costs and increased operating efficiencies in order not to wreck profitability or become uncompetitive. It is going to be interesting watching the rest of this year play out. Tom Campbell is a Hall of Fame North Carolina Broadcaster and columnist who has covered North Carolina public policy issues since 1965. He recently retired from writing, producing and moderating the statewide half-hour TV program NC SPIN that aired 22½ years. Contact him at tomcamp@carolinabroadcasting.com.
Hampstead Kiwanis Club to resume meetings July 15 By Patricia Homa Special to the Post & Voice The Kiwanis Club of Hampstead will be resuming our meetings at the Sawmill Grill beginning Thursday, July 15, at 7 a.m. This will be an Interclub meeting with the Kiwanis Club of Topsail Island. Joining us will be Region 6 Trustee Charles Kay, Division 18 Lt.
Governor Mike Hadley and Tim Horner, among others from their Club. We are reaching out to many of you who are in, have been members of, the Kiwanis Club of Hampstead. It is time to rebuild our Club as restrictions have lessened during the pandemic. We look forward to continuing our fundraising events in the upcoming months, to include the Turkey
Trot. Part of rebuilding the Club is the attendance at regular meetings. It is crucial that we have great participation so we can continue to do work for our community, the Park, and particularly, our children. I encourage all of you to attend this upcoming meeting. We will be in the side room at the restaurant as in the past. If any of you do not wish to
receive notifications about the Club, please let me know, and in turn, if you know someone who would like to receive notifications please let me know. We want to rebuild our Club, which has been a wonderful asset to our community, and your participation is needed now. Please join us Thursday, July 13, at 7 a.m. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Welcome to my world
Regina Hill Post & Voice Columnist
FOMO The first step in dealing with a problem is the admission that said problem exists. I’m stating. for the record, that I am afflicted with FOMO. FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out, is a source of anxiety stemming from a desire to stay connected with others. For me, being engaged in work or social activities is a distraction and offers a sense of belonging and community. Sitting home alone breeds a longing for purpose and acceptance and the social isolation born of covid quarantines pushed me into the dark bowels of this condition.
Lori Continued from page 3A about your loved one’s safety, that they do not deserve to be hurt, and that the abuse is not their fault. A person who has been abused often feels upset, depressed, confused and scared. Let them know that these feelings are normal, and tell them positive things about themselves. Their abuser may be tearing down their self-esteem. Respect the victim’s choices, and encourage them to build a support system. Help find a support group or encourage them to talk to friends and family. Be patient - self-empowerment may take longer than you want. On average, it takes a victim seven times to leave before staying away for good. You can connect the victim to domestic violence resources. In Pender and Duplin Counties, you can give them the Safe Haven 24-hour hotline number: (910) 259-8989. In an area that does not have its own helpline, you can direct your loved one to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799SAFE. You might consider calling your local domestic violence helpline yourself to learn more about the kinds of help available, to ask questions, and to learn how you can support your loved one. Don’t accuse, diagnose, or judge your loved one’s
FOMO drives guilt. My grandparents wasted no time during the day. They woke up with the sun and hit the floor running with chores and the raising of children, all in the context of scant financial resources and difficult living and work conditions. Of course, this amplifies the laziness I experience while I brood over slow internet and the ignored piles of laundry sitting nearby. FOMO feeds procrastination. My struggle with decisionmaking is a decision in and of itself and, by not deciding, I’ve avoided risk-at least in the short term. The internal voice affirms that I am, indeed, a loser. I should be growing vegetables, recycling or volunteering in a soup kitchen. Instead, I sit in the company of chores still undone as personal goals taunt from miles away. FOMO feeds the ego. The success of social media seems in direct correlation with FOMO. We’ve developed a need to know what’s going on in everyone else’s circles, leaving less time to manage our own. Engaging in social media promotes the idea that we are accepted, liked, watched and never truly alone. While looking outward, we view how others Continued on page 14A choices. Drawing conclusions about what they may be feeling, judging, or criticizing their abuser will do more harm than good. Don’t pressure your friend to leave the abusive relationship. There are many reasons they may be choosing to stay. If they choose to stay, you can help them develop a safety plan to reduce the risk of future harm. (See https://ncadv.org/ personalized-safety-plan) Their abuser may have threatened to hurt them or their children if they try to leave, or many other scenarios. They may control all of the finances, and may have isolated the victim from friends and family so that their resources are limited. They may have promised to change, and the victim may still love him/her. It is never as simple as encouraging a victim to “just leave.” You can help by telling your loved one that help does exist, and by connecting them with local resources. Let them know that people in their community care about them and want them to be safe. Avoid victim blaming. People sometimes think, “Why don’t they just leave? It can’t be that bad if they stayed.” That might seem like a good question, but it really puts the blame on the survivor. A better question to ask might be – Why do abusers abuse?
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