ROSSANA SNEE, MFT

THE SEED YOU WATER BECOMES THE FLOWER!

— BY ROSSANA SNEE, MFT

You may not know this, but you are a portable garden. You are the landscaper in charge. You either tend to your grounds or you ignore them. Either way, the results will be obvious to those around you.

You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. “Me, a landscaper?” you ask. “Are you mad?”

No, I am not mad. Let me explain. When I refer to you as a portable garden, I’m talking about your mind being that garden. It is an extremely fertile ground. Anything can be planted in there. And based on the seeds you plant, you’re either going to have a joyful life, or a miserable and depressive existence.

For a lot of you, weeds have overtaken your garden. You’ve been negligent and it shows. What are some of those weeds? They are doubt, fear, jealousy, negativity, and hatred, to name but a few. Those seeds you’ve planted, (along with the help of other people), have taken root, and have now become a normal part of your landscape.

How do those seeds get spread and create chaos in your life? Let’s take a look…

• Doubt – Any time you question yourself, your worth, your ability to become the very best version of yourself in this journey called Life, you plant Seeds of Doubt. They weaken you; keep you frozen in place and unable to take even the smallest step. To others you appear as ineffective and helpless. • Fear – This is one of the most damaging weeds in your garden. This seed can wreak havoc powerful enough to destroy You. Fear can keep you on lockdown. These seeds are fear of success, fear of failure, of new opportunities; fear of the differences in others, of making commitments, and on and on. If you have planted Seeds of Fear, you walk around in a constant state of anxiety. Tell me, what quality of life do you think you might have with a garden full of Seeds of Fear? • Jealousy – Wanting what others have, resenting them for having something you don’t, creates Seeds of Jealousy. This shows up when you belittle others, when you downplay who they are in order to puff yourself up. A garden full of these seeds choke out anything else in your garden that is beautiful, leaving only ugliness in its wake. • Negativity – There is an abundance of these seeds threatening your landscape. Complaints about health, the government, your neighbor, your spouse, your flaws, the weather, etc. Seeds of Negativity show up everywhere. They are one of the most common weeds in almost every garden.

Complaints are not made as a way of figuring out a better way, they are an end in and of themselves. The responsibility is shifted out there, instead of where the responsibility lies. In You!

• Hatred – This seed is literally dangerous—one of the most injurious seeds to the psyche and the body. Carrying Seeds of Hatred, poisons the garden. It is like vines that strangle every other seed.

Seeds of Hatred can result in sickness, anger, resentment, and sometimes even murder. This weed, if left to fester and grow, can destroy your entire landscape, and possibly that of others.

• Intolerance – Your garden is not better than the garden of others. That is to say that you are not superior to anyone else. Everyone is unique. Just because someone is different than you—darker, lighter, bigger; just because they prefer a partner of whom you wouldn’t approve, or pray to a different God, is of no concern to you. Being intolerant of others has caused more destruction and death than anything on this planet.

Concentrate on what you’re planting and disregard the rest.

So, now you know what some of the Bad Seeds are. Let’s talk about some of the good seeds that can create the most beautiful Garden on Earth. • Confidence – This seed allows your garden to flourish. If you plant Seeds of Confidence, you will be able do anything. Your garden will thrive, and you’ll draw much attention and respect. Be who you are. Embrace it. Don’t feel small in front of others. You are as big as anyone else. Your mind is what keeps you small. To attain these Seeds of Confidence, trust yourself and your uniqueness. There’s no one else out there like you. The more Seeds of Confidence you plant, the more resplendent your garden will be. • Trust – Seeds of Trust are essential in your landscaping. They will eradicate the Seeds of Fear. As a professional landscaper, trust that you have the knowledge you need to create something amazing. Trust your instincts. Trust in your uniqueness and your worth, regardless of what anyone says. Trust that there is a purpose that is grander than you. All things eventually work out. Say to yourself, “I trust that everything will unfold the way it’s supposed to in its own perfect timing. All I need to do is tend to my garden with tenacious focus. The rest will take care of itself.” • Contentment – Stop thinking that if you had that “special thing” you’d be happy. Tend to your own, personal space. Wishing you had someone else’s life doesn’t yield any positive results. Instead of looking at what you don’t have and wish you did, want what you have, and improve upon it, if need be. This will entail work, but with your Seeds of Confidence and Trust, you’re good to go. Remember, The

grass is greener where you water it. ~Neil Barringham. • Positivity – The Seeds of Positivity are the foundational seeds for your grounds. They are what give you the strength and fortitude to get up every day and tend to your life; to weed out the ugly and unnecessary because of the fetching vision you hold that lies just around the bend. To start planting Seeds of Positivity, the landscaper has to produce a mental shift. The language has to change. For instance, “My life sucks, I’m useless.” Change to, “My life is filled with potential. I will invest time and learn how to make it better.” Or, “What’s the point of planting Seeds of Positivity, nothing’s going to get better,” to, “I’m going to keep planting these seeds until they finally begin to sprout. I will do everything in my power to turn things around. I can and will do it. Nothing is stopping me but me.”

• Love – These seeds will turn your garden into a showstopper. With these Seeds of Love, you cannot lose. Weeds cannot survive. These Seeds of Love will catch the light and reflect your beauty out and about. These are the seeds you want to have the most of in your garden. Get them from wherever you can and scatter your garden with them. You can spread the Seeds of Love to everyone you meet and collect it from family and friends. There is an abundance of these seeds to go around. Remember, you’re either coming from a place of Love or coming from a place of Fear. You get to choose with every interaction you have. • Tolerance – These seeds are amazing. They work amazingly well with every other seed. In fact, these Seeds of Tolerance bloom best when surrounded by all the other august seeds. Seeds of Tolerance are all inclusive. No one is left out of the mix. Differences are tolerated because they are what make people, people; make life exciting and challenging. Cultivating the Seeds of Tolerance can be worked on by accepting that not everyone is like you. Differences in sexual orientation, belief system, intellectual acuity, political and religious views, are all part of the general landscape. All those seeds make the whole landscape grand. Spread plenty of these Seeds of Tolerance. Watch them grow and multiply. You’ll see your circle getting larger, more diverse. This is what you ultimately want. Try it! You’ll be amazed at the beauty you create in your life. You are the landscaper of your portable garden. What do you want others to see? Beauty, variety, healthy growth? Or, weeds, lots of them, so rooted that it makes you, your life scape ugly? It is your choice. You can continue disregarding your garden, letting the weeds control every imaginable space, or you can take charge of it. You can water, nurture, and tend to your fertile terrain. All the great seeds are readily available. It’s not necessary to go to a nursery to purchase them. They are free. Start working on your landscaping today. It’s a lifelong journey, so don’t despair. Having a green thumb doesn’t always come easy. It’s OK. Get some help if you need to. There are always other landscapers that are willing to share their knowledge so that your garden can bloom like theirs! The soil has never been more alive and ready.

ABOUT ROSSANA SNEE, MFT

Rossana Snee, MFT, author of The Healing Alphabet, 26 Empowering Ways to Enrich Your Life. She is a wife, mother of two. She loves reading, writing, working out, painting, playing the viola and violin, and learning languages. Follow her on Twitter@askjoshsmom, Periscope.com, and https://www. rossanasnee.com.

She is available in a therapeutic capacity, and also for speaking engagements.