9 minute read
Caroline Ribeiro-Nelson
Making Fear Your Friend
Rather Than Your Foe
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Caroline Ribeiro-Nelson
Facing Crisis and Rising to the Challenge
Far before the outbreak of the Covid-19 Pandemic, our personal, work and environmental spheres have been in a state of perpetual change and challenge, driven primarily by the expanse of industrialisation, globalisation and digitalization. We have borne witness to how the Covid-19 crisis stopped us in our tracks and caught us short. This exposed our human vulnerability, as well as evoked greater awareness around our life fulfilment.
This trauma can be physically, emotionally, or psychologically detrimental, as well as highly disruptive to our daily functioning.
Tempering Human Loss and Fear
Fear is strongly evoked when we face or perceive loss. Loss of life, freedom or choice, our contact, connection or relationship with others, livelihood, possibility of work or employment, travel, housing or shelter, movement and our financial or social status. All of which we have been continually confronted and continue to face. The impact has been profound on our mental health and well-being. During such times it is important to respond in ways, which enhance our perspective, possibilities and enable us to cope.
Fortunately, there are several useful perspectives for dealing with the fear we experience. learning to recognise, understand and regulate our responses can be highly beneficial in managing our health, choices, and growth.
Making Fear Work For us Rather than Against us
Situations, which involve a strong threat and mass changes are often accompanied by fears and anxiety. This is to be expected, at the same time however, such changes along with a heightened level of awareness can offer a huge opportunity to re-assess our values, needs and goals. It also provides us with a chance to adapt and make future improvements.
We strongly recognise that; on the one hand, many aspects of a threat, uncertainty and change frankly scare us. We fear, for example, the end of the familiar, loss of control, not belonging or lack of connection and support. On the other hand, we gain new possibilities in which:
Remote and mobile practices become an integral part of our jobs, offers us a chance to develop and adopt to innovative and more flexible working models.
We extend trust and accountability to those responsible in their position. Enhancing confidence, a clearer sense of control and creativity.
We foster greater adaptability in how people manage their time, work and personal commitments. Supporting opportunities for healthy work-life balance
Fear of loss and change then become an impetus for constructive development and new possibilities.
How fear affects us
When it comes to the effects of our emotions diverse and strong emotions are an absolute natural and healthy part of our lives. However, experiencing powerful emotions, such as fear over a persistent and extensive time period can become a serious issue, which can lead to physical and mental health difficulties. When this happens, it is important to react and seek appropriate support.
In a positive sense, fear serves as a warning sign. It warns us of situations, which present a real or perceived threat to our life or to factors that may overwhelm us. In such situations, it makes sense to take this warning signal seriously and accept that we need to react accordingly.
Throughout our life journey we meet many experiences, which can evoke fear, in our daily life, fears can be triggered, for example, by the end of a significant relationship, conflicts with family, friends or colleagues, by unfamiliar circumstances or facing situations we have learnt to fear. Every one of us is afraid of something and knows this feeling well. For some, fears are less pronounced in daily life; for others they can be a strong and persistent problem. We can be encouraged in the fact, that recognising and reacting constructively, to manage our fear, promotes better mental health and coping strategies.
What we can do
Although fear is a powerful and unpleasant emotion, driven by instinct, we know that it is essential to our survival and presents a strong motivation for change. We can learn to master it, for it to work for us rather than against us. Consistently developing constructive ways to react through building our understanding and awareness of our fear, recognising the signs and reacting in a more conscious way.
Our fear is deeply influenced by our perception and reactions to it. For positive and healthy growth, we can choose to conceive fear as a sign and force for learning, adaption, and growth rather than something, which is always bad, to be avoided or to escape.
We can realistically choose to perceive things as challenges rather than as threats or problems: When presented with a threat or problem focus on finding a way forward and attaining a clear goal. Having a constructive view on the present situation and working towards a specific outcome, enables us to positively draw on all our resources, to get us to where we need to be.
Consistently work to cultivate a constructive mindset: Exposing ourselves to positive internal and external messages can help build confidence and counter our negative bias, supporting a more productive outlook.
Setting realistic expectations: We can gain greater clarity through reflection on the expectations set by ourselves and others. Examine how realistic these are and adjust them according. Identify manageable steps in meeting expectations. This helps to limit disappointment and stress, as well as enabling us to achieve our goals more easily
Mastering our Fear
We can master our fear “Fear is our natural warning system (Fight-or-Flight Response), which serves to preserve our survival and to recognise and react to dangers. This gives us the possibility not only to escape or eliminate these dangers, but also to build our mental and physical resources through reacting in a more conscious rather than an instinctual way.
Engaging regularly in reflection, meditation and mindfulness has been found to help us gain clarity, calmness, reduce states of anxiety and stress. This can support us to regulate our emotional, cognitive and physical reactions. When fear situations arise, we are then better placed to react more effectively.
Fear also signifies situations, in which we are faced with something unknown, or presents us with a challenge or with high demands. We are then given the opportunity to consciously utilise our experience and resources. It can also allow us the time to explore things further and to prepare, putting us in a better place to react constructively. The more we consciously reflect on, assess and understand our feelings and reactions to fear, the more we are able to make productive choices, as well as strengthen our mental resilience.
Establish Good Sleep Habits: Sleep is essential for our overall physical and mental health and well-being. Good sleep helps to build our resilience in dealing with fear, stress and anxiety.
Connect, Share and Seek Support: Our fears can fester and build, to the point that they can become disruptive or overwhelming. Connecting and sharing our experience can be a great relief. This enables us to gain reassurance, perspective, companionship, understanding and support, assisting us to better deal with our situation and feelings.
Engage regularly in self-care: Monitoring our fear responses and the impact on our mental health, along with engaging in actions to reduce triggers, anxiety and stress can be highly beneficial. Activities such as sport, exercise, taking breaks, healthy eating habits, hobbies, having fun, meditation, reading, dance and listening to music, can help us relax and lift mood maintaining better health.
We should not underestimate how much the threat and difficulties, we face can impact us.
Caroline Ribeiro-Nelson has been working in the field of mental health & well-being for 30 years. She is a Diverse Mental Health Consultant, experienced Psychotherapist, Coach and Trainer.
Diverse & Inclusive Mental Health
My strong belief is, that in order for relationships and businesses to prosper, a positive culture of mental health & wellbeing, anti-discrimination, diversity and inclusion, needs to exist, in which leadership, management and employees can perform at their highest level.
Mental health & well-being has been my career long passion. For over 25 years I have been totally driven in my mission to improve our mental health & well-being culture. My strong belief is, that in order for relationships and businesses to prosper, a positive culture of mental health & wellbeing, anti-discrimination, diversity and inclusion, needs to exist, in which leadership, management and employees can perform at their highest level.
My Diverse Mental Health Approach encompasses how the particular experience of women, Black people and individuals from diverse groups negatively impacts their Mental Health. My work with organisations incorporates the recognition and understanding of these factors, supporting businesses to develop specific and effective strategies in gaining significant improvements
My commitment lies at the centre of my drive in working together with organisations to create mentally healthier, inclusive, diverse work places, optimise human potential and successfully achieve business goals
Free Choices Psychological Health & Wellbeing (PHeW), Professional Training, Coaching, Consultation and Mediation services provides specific strategies, which positively support businesses and people to build thriving work cultures, deal with crisis, enhance productivity and gain outstanding professional performance
Caroline’s Qualifications
Caroline holds a Diploma & Advanced Diplomas in Existential Psychotherapy, Diploma in Life Coaching and Diploma in Mindfulness and a Bachelor of Social Science in Psychology & Politics. She is trained in Creative Personal & Professional Development, Intercultural Business Training & Moderation and Stress Management
Caroline’s Memberships
Registered member UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP)
Contact
www.freechoices.co.uk
Tele: +44 (0) 203 633 0907 I +44 (0) 7711 840 737
E-Mail I caroline@freechoices.co.uk
