Incorporating NQ magazine
April 2021
LOOKIELIKIE™
www.pqmagazine.com/www.pqjobs.co.uk
PERFECT ISOLATION HM Prisons Limited is offering the perfect venue to sit your next accountancy exam. No children home schooling or noise neighbours! We can also guarantee total silence in our solitary confinement exam cells. It is the ultimate exam centre venue, with overnight stay thrown in. HOTLINE ORDER SERVICE: We have venues on the Isle of Wright, Lewes and in Holloway, London. For the more adventurous try our Alcatraz venue!
X-RAY SPECS
Our top seller is back by popular demand! Want to leave your exam desk early? Forgotten to revise? Then it’s time to invest in a ‘Lookie-Likie’! We will create a life-size blow-up version of you which you can leave at your exam desk while you crawl to safety. Just £49.99 gets you another you! Made from reconstituted vegetables (mainly parsnips). For another £49.99 we will deliver and install your LookieLikie at your exam desk. Guaranteed to fool even the most vigilant of invigilators.
Hilarious ONLY optical £1 illusion optional See through the examiner’s questions with our x-ray specs! Our glasses also have mini fans attached in case you have to wear a mask at the exam centre – so you will be able to keep clear glasses and a clear head. Walking into lampposts will be a thing of the past, too! The lenses consist of two layers of cardboard with a small hole through which the questions can be viewed.
JUST £300 A PAIR
EXAM VAR
Failed your exam? Instead of going for a remark result try our Exam VAR service! Using FIFA technology we can turn a marginal failure into complete failure, and ruin the whole exam experience for you forever! We will send your exam script to somewhere even we don’t know where it is, and we will return it to you with an even a worse mark than you originally received. This unique service is only available until FIFA/Premier League find out!
DESK-O-BED-O-SOFA Trying to find the space to sit your exam in your small flat? We have the perfect solution with the Desk-O-Bed-OSofa... Our top-flight designers have created the ultimate piece of furniture that can switch from a bed to a desk to a sofa, all on the flip of a handle. You will need to glue your laptop to the desk, but this will be a small price to pay for the ultimate space-saver. Our product comes in both single and double desk sizes. Just £399 plus VAT. Duvet, pillows and computer not included in the price
Award-winning AAT courses and apprenticeships Flexible learning to suit your lifestyle mindful-education.co.uk/students
GET IT THIRD
HAND Struggling to type fast enough in the exam? Allotted time not long enough? Ever thought you need another hand? Well, now you can get one courtesy of the Third Hand Shop. We have looked at the exam regulations and having three hands is not against the rules – so why not get yourself an edge? All you need to do is put aside a few months for our small surgical procedure and success in the exam is a certainty. Real hands used and you can decide whether to attach the hand to your left or right arm. We are totally flexible – the choice is yours. Just think of all the wonderful things you can do with your third hand once the exams are over! But remember, a third hand is for life.
SCREEN ENLARGER KIT Laptop screen not large enough? Want a bigger one for exam day? We have the perfect solution with our ‘screen enlarger’. We have got together with some very clever scientists who have invented the screen pump. Just plug it into the side of your computer and start pumping. You will be amazed at the results! And all for just £3,999.99! Still not sure? Well, send off for our ‘Everything you want to know about screen pumps’ free guide.