Reflections - Winter 2021

MASONIC VILLAGE HOSPICE

WINTER 2021

Your Gifts Are Helping Families Move Forward

Devoted Parents Receive the Care They Deserve Bob Starr would describe his late parents, Henry “Bud” and Margaret “Peg,” as “devoted.” They were devoted to raising Bob and his two sisters, their community and to one another. Bud and Peg met at a rollerskating rink in Upper Darby, Pa., and spent a lifetime together in love.

“My mom had come with another young man, but she caught my dad’s eye, and that was that,” Bob said.

One of Bud and Peg’s greatest accomplishments was putting Bob and his sisters through college.

“They succeeded with whatever they put their minds to as a team,” Bob said.

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He remembers a childhood filled with family vacations and his parents’ volunteerism with the local fire company.

After 67 years of marriage, Bud was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia, a progressive condition, and Peg wanted the best care possible for him.

“Dad’s condition needed around-theclock care,” Bob said. “His condition rapidly deteriorated, and within six months, went from mild confusion to being unable to function for himself.”

In the last two months of Bud’s life, Peg and the family decided to pursue hospice care. Since Bud was a Mason,

and they were familiar with the quality of the fraternity, the family chose Masonic Village Hospice.

“The extra care and attentive support Hospice provided my dad was a great relief to our family,” Bob said.

“Additionally, our family was helped with emotional support by the Hospice chaplain and bereavement counselor as we were on our journey.”

Peg valued the follow-up visits, letters and other information she received from Heidi Young, bereavement coordinator, after Bud’s passing.

Three and a half years after Bud’s death, Peg developed issues with her

Bob Starr, Bud and Peg’s son

Bud and Peg on their wedding day.

kidneys, which progressively worsened. Once again, Bob and his family chose to receive services from Masonic Village Hospice during the last few months of her life.

For years, while Bob and his wife were navigating through the diagnoses and passing of their loved ones, Hospice became like family.

“The fact that we had the same caring team and familiar faces put my mom at ease,” Bob said. “As the end drew nearer, Hospice adjusted their schedules to be with Mom.”

“I would recommend, without hesitation, the use of Masonic Village Hospice to any person or family needing care,” Bob said. “Many folks falsely believe that hospice is only for the final days of life. They are missing out on the opportunity to obtain some valuable assistance and attentive care for not only their loved one, but for themselves, as well.”

Bob Heim, a registered nurse who also cared for Bud, was present for Peg’s passing, along with Bob and his sisters.

“His friendly face was a comfort to us all,” Bob recalled.

In addition, Masonic Village Hospice cared for Bob’s wife’s aunt six months after Bud’s passing.

“We had the same caring and supportive team [for all three family members],” Bob said. “The staff are attentive listeners and care providers. They cared for each family member as an individual person with individual needs.

We are so fortunate we chose the right hospice.”

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Learning to Move Forward It’s a picturesque scene: a man who lived life by the “golden rule,” smiling as he sits in his classic red 1972 Chevy pickup truck (pictured right) with a Golden Retriever pup by his side.

“He had seemed forgetful at times before, but when my mom was alive, she compensated for it. Daddy was diagnosed with dementia and, after his home was sold, he moved in with me.”

When Linda Williams thinks of her late father, Jay, she conjures up this image in her mind.

After nine months, when Linda’s home was no longer safe for Jay, who was at risk for falls, she decided Masonic Village could provide her dad with the quality care he needed and deserved, as he spent his own life caring for others.

“He was a very loving, positive person,” Linda (pictured sitting at the bottom of the photo above) said. “He loved his family and the family dog, Molly. If it were up to him, he’d have the family living within a couple blocks of each other their whole lives.”

As Linda watched her parents age, she decided to leave her career as an attorney to ensure she’d be available to meet their needs. After Linda’s mother passed away, she became her father’s caregiver.

“Almost as soon as my mother died, I spent every day with my father and realized how much he had declined,” Linda said.

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“They took such wonderful care of him,” Linda said. “The staff helped me get him settled there quickly.”

Less than four months later, Jay developed a serious lung infection, and in the last week of his life, it was recommended hospice become involved in his care.

“It seemed unnecessary to me at first, and I was kind of stunned by it,” Linda said. “He had lived with serious lung issues for 30 years.”

After a meeting with hospice staff, where they explained the benefits of the service and how it would supplement the care provided by the nursing care staff, Linda was in agreement.

“It sounded very rational and positive,” Linda said, “but even after I signed all the paperwork, it didn’t really sink in.”

The next day, a hospice nurse visited Jay for an assessment.

“She came and spent time with him,” Linda said. “They started him on morphine to make his breathing more comfortable.”

What happened next is still vivid in Linda’s memory.

“The nurse took me aside and told me Daddy was dying,” Linda said.

“Hospice had a way of talking directly - laying out the facts - but with compassion. It was what I needed to jolt me into reality.”

Thanks to generous supporters, bereavement support services are available to Hospice families, as well as members of the community, at no cost.

Hospice predicted Jay had a number of days left, which allowed Linda time to contact her two siblings, who live at a distance.

“Hospice could see that Daddy’s death was imminent,” Linda said.

“It was incredible how insightful and accurate they were about the process. They gave me the ability to be with him. I was with Daddy every moment, so he wasn’t alone.”

Shortly after Jay’s passing, Hospice became the shoulder Linda could lean on.

“They explained what was going to happen next and got him prepared for the funeral director,” Linda recalled. “At every stage, they were respectful of me and gave me time to be with my father, quietly, until it was time for him to leave.”

When life settled down, and her siblings had come and gone, Linda’s grieving truly began.

“After everyone left, all I did was cry,” she said. “I just couldn’t get a hold of myself.”

She remembers standing in the grocery store at a deli counter with tears in her eyes. Eventually, Linda leafed through the book of information Hospice provided her and made an appointment with Heidi Young, bereavement coordinator.

She began talking with her monthly.

“One day, I woke up and wasn’t consumed with feelings of sadness,” Linda said. “I was able to think of my father with joy. Hospice gave me the ability to do that.”

“I felt overwhelming guilt,” Linda said. “I wished I was able to keep my father in my house longer. I kept thinking about all the things I could have done differently to help him, about all my shortcomings as a caregiver. Heidi helped me overcome that guilt and replace those feelings with positive thinking.”

“Those last moments I had with Daddy are moments I’ll treasure forever,” Linda said. “I would recommend Hospice because they simply deliver.

They deliver the care with compassion.

It’s compassionate because it’s truthful, and it gives the family the ability to confront reality and to be with a loved one in the moment.”

Heidi encouraged Linda to start focusing on everything she had done for her dad. “You can spend your whole life thinking about things you didn’t do, but you have to move forward,” Heidi said.

Linda now has her precious memories - like when her Dad, passionate about airplanes (pictured above), flew the family to the seashore or when he taught his grandchildren to drive his antique John Deere tractor - to provide her comfort.

“She completely turned me around,” Linda said. “She’s young, and for her to have that level of understanding for the human condition and to give me tools to deal with my loss was quite extraordinary. She could have charged me $1,000 a session.”

Most importantly for Linda, Hospice allowed her to be with her Dad at the very end.

“I no longer feel sad that Daddy’s not around, but more so lucky to have had him,” Linda said. “Hospice was a God-send in the moment of his death and afterwards.”

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Purchase Items to Benefit Hospice through Masonic Villages’ Giving Catalog SUPPORT GROUP SESSION $45 Support groups give individuals the opportunity to gain friendships, listen to guest speakers and find resources available to them. Groups are held for grief support, caregiver and dementia support and support for those with other medical ailments.

BLANKET FOR A VETERAN $25 Thank a Masonic Village Hospice veteran patient for their service, selflessness, bravery and heart with a well-deserved gift of comfort at the end of life. The fleece blanket is red, white and blue.

Pictured is Marty, who was a WWII veteran.

DONATE TODAY! Make a difference for our patients and families.

Complete the enclosed envelope to request a printed catalog or donate online at MVGivingCatalog.org.

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Thank You Memorials

Gifts received Aug. 1 - Oct. 31, 2020

MEMORIAL

John T. Adair, Jr.

DONOR

Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. Betty “Bessie” Amour Sandra Glatfelter

John Grezlak and Madelyn Valunas Kenneth “Ken” Barley Rick and Deb Barley Irene Blaskiewicz Shirley Wolf Beatrice M. Boyd Jillian Stauffer James A. Brecht Patti Brecht Clyde E. Burkholder Betty Deibert William Howard Gibson, Sr. Bruce and Mary Cavey

Nikki Leonzi

Richard and Angela Salezze

Marcia Thompson Roberta Lisa Giordano Kathryn Palladino Joan H. Hall William Hall Ethel V. Harris Happy Mad Hatters

Gerald and Pat Kemmerer Joan T. Higgins David and Ann Drobnock

Greg and Cathy Marton William A. Hoin Shirley Wolf John A. Horst Beverly Horst Roseann M. Jones James Jones Arthur D. Kauffman Edward Horst David E. Keesey Juanita Keesey Elizabeth “Bette” Kissel Steven and Susan Glauser

Rheems Elementary School Faculty and Staff

Arthur and Melissa Stephens William M. Lundie Lura Shader Robert E. McCombs Brian McCombs Florence Y. Methlie Nina and Roy Gaskill Mary K. Mummert Chuck and Linda Mummert Anita L. Pence Michael and Sarah Pence Gloria G. Pritsch John Pritsch Joyce Reedy Jim and Sharon Spore Jenny L. Rodger Linda and Barry Brown Charles W. Schaeffer Arthur and Dorothy Wert Dolores F. Shott Thomas Shott James “Jim” Sieber Gerald Robison Mary M. Singer Bruce Singer Family Henry and Margaret Starr Robert and Donna Starr Elizabeth “Betty” Stitman Samuel Stitman Brenda J. Swarr Berardi Children Sudheer J. Tiwari Stefania Tiwari E. Louise Tumolo Norma and Ken Mayo

Carl E. Wert

Douglas “Doug” Zima

Edna Adams Nancy Artz Prudence Mann Arthur and Dorothy Wert Bill and Ann Wilson Tina Zima

Honors

Gifts received Aug. 1 - Oct. 31, 2020

HONOR

Kevin Jacoby Timothy A. Nickel

DONOR

Barbara Caton Rick and Deb Barley

Wish List Contributors Gifts received Aug. 1 - Oct. 31, 2020

DONOR

Jillian L. Stauffer

Hospice’s Wish List Item

Cost Per Item

Ticket to a baseball game

$13

Trip to a local diner

$20

Trip to a local restaurant

$50

Gift card for grocery deliveries

$75

Transportation costs

$100

Visit to a local spa

$100

Fill the comfort cart for families staying with a dying loved one

$100

Week at the shore for a patient and their family

$1,500

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MASONIC VILLAGE HOSPICE 98 Masonic Drive, Suite 101 • Elizabethtown, PA 17022 717-361-8449 • MasonicVillageHospice.org

Who We Are Since 2009, Masonic Village’s trained, compassionate hospice staff have cared for thousands of patients and their families, focusing on the physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs of patients so they may complete their lives joyfully. Our hospice staff promote comfort and self-determination, enabling patients to participate in making decisions about their care.

Based in Elizabethtown, Masonic Village Hospice is pleased to offer services to patients in the comfort of their homes throughout Lancaster, Dauphin, Lebanon and Eastern York counties.

Open for Everyone.

Masonic Village Hospice does not discriminate against any person on the basis of race, color, religion, disability, ancestry, national origin, familial status, age, sex, limited English proficiency (LEP) or any other protected status in admission, treatment or participation in its programs, services and activities, or in employment.

Masonic Village Hospice cumple con las leyes federales de derechos civiles aplicables y no discrimina por motivos de raza, color, nacionalidad, edad, discapacidad o sexo.

Masonic Village Hospice iss willich, die Gsetze (federal civil rights) vun die Owwerichkeet zu folliche un duht alle Leit behandle in der seem Weg. Es macht nix aus, vun wellem Schtamm ebber beikummt, aus wellem Land die Voreldre kumme sinn, was fer en Elt ebber hot, eb ebber en Mann iss odder en Fraa, verkrippelt iss odder net.