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INDEX Safe sex................Page 6 Drugs..................Page 12 Thrift stores.........Page 16 Roommates.........Page 22 Acro Fusion.........Page 26
Combat Fitness...Page 29
Warrior Playground .......... ...........................Page 31
Illuminar Aerial .... Page 33
Rec center .......... Page 35
Hemp Cream........Page 37
Get Social ....................... ....... Pages 10, 20, 28, 38
Fantz in Your Pants Q&A ...........................Page 39
Campus Map . Page 40, 41
ColoradoDaily.com
Main Office: 2500 55th St., Suite 210, Boulder, CO 80301 Editor: Deanna Hardies, 303-4731111 editor@coloradodaily.com Advertising: Jill Stravolemos, 303473-1400, stravolemosj@dailycamera.com Circulation: Preston Latham, 303994-3677
On the Cover
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Maia Whiteman, left, and Amiel Foster do yoga at The Source in Boulder.
Body & Soul
Damn, Boulder, you sexy
By Deanna Hardies Colorado Daily Editor elcome to Boulder, a land of great hiking, goat yoga and bicycle shorts. No wonder it’s often ranked as one of the fittest cities in America. It’s also one of the sexiest. The parks here are filled with lithe, ripped and flexible folks engaged in activities that Hardies show off some of their greatest assets. People-watching in Boulder is a great pastime not just because of the odd characters who abound. You’ll also see enough hotties to fill your spank bank for months. Don’t ogle, of course. You’ll ruin it for the rest of us. Spending some quality alone time with a memory of that demi-deity you saw on campus is a great way to relieve stress and refocus your mind. But if you want to actually get it on with some of the gorgeous residents of this gorgeous city, the usual rules apply: Take care of your hygiene, show interest in a nonthreatening way, don’t torture small animals for fun. That sort of thing. Some of you are free from your parents’ oversight for the first time in
W
Boulder’s Independent thrIft store
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Boulder is a town of good-looking humans and adorable goats. And yoga. So much yoga. And goats.
your life, so it’s time for a recap of the birds and the bees. 1. Condoms are effective and easy and often available for free at places like Wardenburg or Planned Parenthood. They come in various colors, sizes and flavors, and if your partner refuses to use one the first time you’re about to do the dirty, you should strongly consider noping the hell
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away from them. 2. Sex is best when both/all parties are having a party. If a participant is just lying there like a starfish, you might wanna double-check if they actually want to have sex with you. Or if they’re conscious. Seriously, don’t have sex with unconscious people. That’s horrifically unsexy. 3. If you are the owner of a vagina and you just
had someone’s hand/ penis/strap-on up in your business, make sure you squeeze out some pee after the act. UTIs are a thing, and they’re no fun. 4. If you are the owner of a penis, you may not trust my expertise on the matter, so this advice comes from a friend who has suffered: When you’re jacking it in the shower, don’t use shampoo.
See HARDIES, page 14
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Safe sex
The birds, the bees and the Buffs Tips for safe sex at CU and respecting that ‘hell yeah’ consent By Christy Fantz Staff Writer
ners, a registered nurse and health care technicians, and it offers annual exams, birth reshmen, class of 2022 control consultations, emer(or 2026 if you’re on the gency contraception, HPV party circuit), you’re what vaccinations, STI testing, some old people are tagging pregnancy testing and more. the “Right Now” generaAt this time, the Sexual and tion. You have readily availReproductive Health Clinic able information for nearly is only equipped to provide everything (including an care to female and trans impressive collection of free patients, but male students porn) at your fingertips, can receive sexual and making you well-educated reproductive health care in individuals. the Medical Clinic. Visit High five. colorado.edu/health/ But that doesn’t mean you services/sexualhealth. Health Promotion offers escape horny hormones or free condoms (roll-on and getting caught up in a internal), lubrication, and moment when a split-second decision could make for a AAron Ontiveroz / The Denver Post information about proper condom use. They also have life-changing event — like a CU has many resources, tips and advice for practicing safe sex (including internal condoms — not just sausage stuffers). nitrile and latex gloves, and human growing in the uterinstructions on how to make us or a blast of sexually an effective cape or a dental transmitted infections perdam. These resources can meating your being. (So colbe used as an effective birth orful and pretty.) control method to prevent Now that you’re out of the disease. Visit colorado.edu/ parent trap, you’ll be explorhealth/promotion. ing new things in colSexually transmitted lege: surprisingly delicious infection (STI) testing is cafeteria food (seriously, available by appointment CU’s on the ball), a large with a health care provider wild animal that does footand is covered by the Gold ball stadium laps on Saturand Campus Care health days and the art of getting plans. Walk-in testing is bent over in the library available — and may be nice stacks. for those without CU insurWhile flaunting your adult, ance as it doesn’t include a if you plan to embark on a visit with a health care provider. Test results are docucareer of non-abstinence, we mented in the student’s medhave some tips for safety, ical record and STI testing learning about HELL YES results are ready the followconsent (nothing less, realing day in most cases. For ly) and how to squeeze a tests that are positive, a Warsausage into its casing. denburg nurse will call the And remember to be a Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer student to discuss the decent human being and You’re gonna want to be prepared when you meet that special someone who makes you go “sploosh.” results and make recommenalways (ALWAYS) get a firm dations for follow-up care “yes” for consent on both assault, there are various anxiety attack or need some and treatment options. Visit Wardenburg Health sides. If someone isn’t into it, resources and information birth control. The health colorado.edu/health colorado.edu/health/sti. stuff your horny in a sack listed below. center is stuffed full of 303-492-5101 and relieve yourself later in Gender and resources and friendly proAs for casing a sausage, 1900 Wardneburg Drive the closet. Rape and assault viders, so don’t be afraid to Sexuality Center maybe call a butcher. What Wardenburg is your own are not needed in a world pay them a visit. do I look like, a meat proThe center supports stulittle hospital on campus. It that’s struggling for peace The Sexual and Reproduc- dents, faculty and staff who cessing plant? (That’s what it offers a full range of health against violence. If you are a says in the men’s room.) tive Health Clinic has a identify along the spectrum and wellness services for victim or witness of sexual gynecologist, nurse practitiowhen you get sick, have an See SEX, page 8 Be safe out there, Gen Z.
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Sex from page 6 of gender and sexual orientation, including those who are questioning and exploring their identities, and those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and asexual (LGBTQIA) as well as their allies. The Gender and Sexuality Center also offers free sexual health resources such as internal and external condoms and lube. Visit colorado.edu/gsc.
advocacy and short-term counseling for students. OVA can help with bias-motivated incidents, sexual harassment and discrimination, intimate partner abuse, physical assault and hazing, sexual assault, stalking, harassment and more. OVA offers online or in-person confidential reporting. Visit cuvictimassistance.com. Counseling and Psychiatric Services offers confidential mental and psychiatric services for various conRelated CU resources cerns including: academics, Women’s Resource Cenanxiety, body image, deprester creates an environment sion, relationships, subwhere women will thrive, stance use and more. develop leadership skills and Visit colorado.edu/health/ work for equality on campus. counseling. It offers sexism training, craft parties (knitting circles, Off-campus resources • Planned Parenthood, etc.), guest speakers, film 200 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, screenings and various 303-447-1040 events. Students can also • Boulder Valley Women’s confidentially report if Health, 2855 Valmont Road, they’ve experienced or witBoulder, 303-442-5160 nessed harmful incidents. • Boulder County Public Visit colorado.edu/wrc. Health, 3450 Broadway, Office of Victim AssisBoulder, 303-441-1100 tance offers free and confi• Boulder County AIDS dential support, information,
8 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Rainbow cupcakes were on display during Longmont’s Gay Pride Festival. All that stuff about staying healthy and getting consent applies to all the sexualities on the rainbow.
Project (BCAP), 2118 14th St., Boulder, 303-444-6121 • Moving to End Sexual Assault (MESA), 2336 Can-
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Get Social
Photos by Nick Mott / Colorado Daily Jenna Bee leads All Terrain Yoga during the Wednesday Farmers Market.
Bryan practices All Terrain Yoga during the Farmers Market in Boulder.
Cammie and Kristy stretch out in Central Park.
Boulderites enjoy Central Park during the Wednesday Farmers Market.
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Substance abuse
A problem shared is a problem halved It’s all fun and games until someone gets addicted
By Charlie Brennan Staff Writer
I
t was all the way back in 1980 when Newsweek magazine put Boulder on a map in a way some city boosters would have preferred to be omitted, labeling the city as a place where “the hip meet to trip.” That, of course, was more than 30 years before Colorado voted to legalize marijuana. Hallucinogens and many other drugs are still illegal, which is not to say that they’re at all hard to come by for those with the connecPaul Aiken / Staff Photographer tions. But the bottom line University of Colorado Police Training Sgt. John Zizz picks up his department’s allotment of the drug Narcan remains: Those who want to from Jamie Feld of Boulder County Public Health as part of a training session for first responders to prevent deaths from opioid overdose. get ripped five ways to Sunday in this city are sure to find the ways and means to do so. But the fact that Boulderbranded oblivion is probably more readily achieved than ever does not make it a good idea, and if the game plan in coming to the University of Colorado is to secure a degree, or at least stay for Seasonal & Environmental Allergies healthy and out of jail, there are things to know and plenty of resources to draw upon.
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Pot is legal now, but it’s not permissible for everyone and it’s not legal everywhere. You must be 21 to purchase weed, and it is still illegal to use it in public, and that includes the CU campus. The Good to Know Colorado campaign offers a webpage with rules of the road for sparking up clearly spelled out. And just because it’s legal and long advocated by many for some medicinal use
See SUBSTANCE, page 14
Campus resources Wardernburg Health Center: The student health center offers a continuum of treatment and referral services to address substance abuse and dependence. Services include individual and group therapy, brief screening and assessment. 1900 Wardenburg Drive, on campus; 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Friday; 303-4925101. colorado.edu/health Health Promotion, Division of Wardenburg: This division of Wardenburg aims to foster a community that promotes health and helps students develop the skills they need to make informed choices about health. UMC 411; 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Friday; 303492-2937; colorado.edu/ health/promotion Counseling and Psychiatric Services: Students are eligible to receive free individual and group counseling targeted toward substance abuse and dependence. Students can also receive free substance abuse assessments and referral services through CAPS. Center for Community C4C, S440; 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday; 303-492-2277; colorado.edu/health/ counseling CU Collegiate Recovery Center: The CU Collegiate Recovery Center (CUCRC) provides a home for the sober community on the CU Boulder campus and support for those in recovery from alcohol or drug use and other addictive behaviors. It is open to all who are in recovery or choosing sobriety/abstinence, and to those who are supportive of the recovery community. The center is located in UMC 102. Those interested in holding a meeting should contact cucrc@colorado .edu or call 303-492-9642; colorado.edu/recovery center.
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Substance from page 12
doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold some potentially adverse health consequences, according to officials at Health Promotion at CU’s Wardenburg Health Center. Downsides from marijuana use can include driving impairment and memory loss. There can also be compounding effects from being both drunk and high, which can compromise motor skills and reaction time. Additionally, officials said, pot use can interfere with learning and academic achievement.
Prescription drug problems
Prescription drug abuse is an issue in the college environment as it is in the rest of
society. These generally fall into two categories, stimulants and other drugs, including barbiturates and depressants. On top of negative effects such as irritability and explosiveness, the use of stimulants such as Adderall as a study tool tend to make students overestimate how much they have actually accomplished. Those using stimulants tend to believe they are achievement-oriented and making progress on assignments when they actually are not, officials have said. Sleep has a big impact on memory, and stimulants can inhibit that dynamic, meaning users don’t learn as much as they believe they do. As for depressants, com-
bining one (alcohol, for example) with another (such as prescription drugs for depression, anxiety and insomnia) carries another series of risks — death included, through consequences including respiratory failure.
Where to turn for help Students suffering dependence on marijuana, addic-
tion to prescription drugs or alcohol abuse can take advantage of on-campus resources to steer them toward recovery.
and Psychiatric Services at CU offers recovery resources, including substanceabuse screenings and counseling appointments (fees may apply), CAPS also feaCounselors say the goal of tures classes for students facprograms offered to students ing court of Office of Student is harm reduction, enabling Conduct proceedings for students to make decisions drug citations. that will lead them toward success. Charlie Brennan: twitter.com/ The office of Counseling
chasbrennan
Colorado Daily file photo Courtesy photo Divers check a car that crashed into the pond south of U.S. 36 and Foothills Parkway. The driver was killed. The University of Colorado has campaigned to start conversations Investigators suspected alcohol as a factor in the crash. around Adderall during finals week.
14 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
Hardies from page 4 You will regret it. Lotion is usually safe in a pinch, but really, you should just go ahead and spring for a bottle of lube. That stuff feels amazing. For those of you who have mastered the basics, this could be the place to learn something new. CU and Boulder have groups where you can meet friends who are polyamorous, asexual or into BDSM. If monogamous, vanilla, hetero sex is your cup of tea, go for it! You don’t have to be a kinky omnisexual
stamina champion with a constellation of a dozen lovers to have a rockin’ sex life (although you have to admit that sounds pretty cool). Just keep in mind that everyone wants something different, even if we’re all looking for a good time. So go out there and sex it up. Or don’t. Whatever makes you happy. Good luck! Read more Hardies: coloradodaily.com/ columnists. Stalk her: twitter.com/deannahardies.
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Thrift stores
Where to find cheap clothes and housewares Retail therapy at ‘Peanuts’ psychiatrist stand prices By Karen Antonacci Staff Writer K. Come here. Closer. Closer. That’s close enough. Back up. I’m going to tell you a secret. Ready? If you’re paying full price for anything, you’re a sucker.* *Important exceptions include shoes, underwear, tattoos and drugs. Seriously, Boulder-area thrift stores are full of onceused brand-name cast-offs from juniors who couldn’t be bothered to take last season’s North Face jacket on their ski trip to the Alps. Their loss. Your win. Susan Gonzalez/ For the Colorado Daily Plus, if you’re like me, If this isn’t Urban Outfitters worthy, you can fight me. Find colorful housewares at Goodwill Boulder. thrifting is therapy on a budget. My inner Tim Gunn loves flipping through racks of clothes and silently judging them. “$3 for that Christmas sweater? Not on your life.” Here are some of the best places to find cheap duds or items to spruce up your dorm. A few (outside of Boulder) even sell severely discounted outdoor items. Yes, even cheaper than an REI sale. THE $500 ESTATE PLANNING PACKAGE Good luck, my young ($750 for married couples) padawan, and happy thrifting.
Shop during Happy Hours 10 to 11 a.m. or 6 to 7 p.m. to earn ARES Bucks (you can use those instead of money to make in-store purchases) Sunday: Student or faculty discount of 20 percent off with a valid school ID Ares is the place to go to find a great outfit that no one else will have or cute knickknacks for your home. Within minutes, I was telling myself, “No, Karen, you don’t need this scuffed up purple end table.” In housewares, there was also an inspirational “do it now” statuette. Grab yourself a nondigital scale to track that freshmen 15 even when the power goes out and a curvy teapot to pour out your iced cucumber water with ease. What? I’m trying to be fancy. There’s tons of stuff for very specific purposes. Pick yourself up a graduation cap for tens of thousands of dollars less than a degree. Send a selfie to your parents with the note, “Graduated early. Got job offers!” and save yourself a lot of headaches. (Editors note: The Colorado Daily’s official stance on this issue is, “You wanna end up like Gwyneth Paltrow? Stay in school, kids.”) I found a ton of cute Ares Thrift Store clothes here, too, some of 2536 Spruce St. which I actually purchased. Sale Days: There was a blue patterned Monday: Buy one, get one blouse there for $3.99 that made me feel like an ’80s free clothing items power bitch. I purchased an Tuesday: 20 percent off awesome yellow-and-black senior discount for 55 and patterned pencil skirt for older $5.99 and a plain black top Wednesday: Doublestamp day on frequent shop- for $2.99. per cards (completed cards Goodwill Boulder earn a $10 shopping spree 2486 Baseline Road at the store) Thursday and Friday: See THRIFT, page 18
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Thrift
from page 16 Pro tip: Google maps will sometimes send you to the Goodwill donation center at 3043 Walnut St, thus nearruining your thrift run with more driving. Make sure you go to the store at Baseline and Broadway. Ah, the Goodwill. That old thrifting standby. I can seriously spend hours in a Goodwill trying on clothes (always wash them when you get home) and trying to decide if I really need another coffee mug with a pithy saying. I bought a happy stripey painting here for $1.99, and they had many other great home things — a camping lamp for 13.99, two water jugs for $1.99 each and a pillow for $1.99. There’s more. Do you need some bedrails? Susan Gonzalez / For the Colorado Daily Those’ll be $14.99 at the Adorable knickknacks are on sale at Ares Thrift Store in Boulder. Goodwill. There are tennis racks and SCUBA fins for are pretty well picked over, doesn’t want other people sale, too. Don’t try for skifinding out, but here I am. Susan Gonzalez / For the Colorado Daily ing, snowboarding or hiking but more on that later. I purchased this outfit at the Ares Thrift Store in Boulder. The skirt was Make sure you hit up the If you have the means, accessories, though. Those $5.99, and the top was $2.99. furniture and larger items make the 15-minute drive to section in the outer room the Arc and you won’t be before you leave. They’ve sorry. This is where you BA WE CK LCO got some super cheap stuff need to go for books, CDs SP M in there that can really and outdoor gear. EC E IAL make a plain beige box of a There’s a section at the S! dorm room feel like home. back right of the store with In the clothing section, I skis, snowboards, boots, tried to find an outfit I backpacking backpacks, would have worn to class in tennis rackets, roller skates college if I wasn’t constantly and shit that I don’t even living in a stained T-shirt know the name of. Soccer and basketball shorts. I cleats? Sure, they’ve got found a super comfy big ’em. Hockey sticks? You bet shirt for $4.99, a pair of your ass. shorts for $4.99, one of The Arc has a much those decorative chunky smaller furniture selection belts for $1.99 and a purse than the Goodwill, but their that looked damn-near new housewares are on point. for $12.99. Cruise for lamps (they’ve • 1 in 5 students have hearing loss got a place where you can Arc Thrift Store • Hearing loss is connected to social isolation and cognitive challenges test electronics), school • A growing number of students have permanent ringing, 24 hours a day, for the rest of their lives 1349 E. South Boulder supplies, glassware, picture Road, Louisville frames and more. Look. Listen. Look and The clothing section is no listen. I know this is techni- joke either. There’s a huge cally outside of Boulder, but selection of pretty much if you’re thrifting, you need everything. Honestly, most MUSICIAN Off to pay it a visit. I’m not even of my closet has come from PLUGS ARE (with this coupon) supposed to be telling you the Arc. Expires 09/30/17 this. My friend explicitly Karen Antonacci: asked me to omit it from this article because he twitter.com/ktonacci www.BoulderValleyEnt.com 303-502-9538
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Get Social
Left: Katie and Becca, center, sign petitions for Bex, left, and Paige, right, of New Era Colorado at the Boulder Farmers Market. Above: Kristy and Cammie hang out in Central Park with their service dog Lya. Below: Rachel practices yoga in Central Park. Below left: Erin and Rachel practice yoga in Central Park. Photos by Nick Mott / Colorado Daily
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Roommates
How to do the whole ‘coexist peacefully’ thing By Elizabeth Hernandez Staff Writer
“If it’s very serious, obviously, there are resources for people to intervene, but if it’s et’s not sugarcoat just, like, ‘They ate my Cheethis: More often than not, rios,’ maybe they should talk sharing a space the size of a to one another first and try walk-in closet with someone to figure it out.” sucks. Simple communication can Sometimes, you’ll find a end up solving a lot of roombest friend in your CU dorm mate conflicts and even preroommate, but realistically, vent them, Theiler said. you may be in store for Sharing pet peeves and deal someone who slurps their breakers early on will help ramen louder than your Netf- keep everyone in line. lix show, leaves wet towels on the floor or brings home a Have compassion “Remember, we’re all comromantic partner without so much as a sock on the door. ing from different backgrounds and raised from difWhen the going gets tough, Kate Theiler, director ferent families and even parts of the world,” Theiler of marketing and communisaid. “Culturally, there might cations for CU Housing and be different ways of doing Dining Services, has some things.” tips before the tough gets Your roommate is probagoing and switches rooms. bly not trying to ruin your life if they eat food that Pick your battles grosses you out or play “When problems first Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer music that isn’t your jam. arise, we advise them to try University of Colorado students move in to Willard Hall on the CU campus in Boulder. Learning to live with a See COEXIST, page 23 to work it out,” Theiler said. stranger is one of the most important lessons anyone learns in college.
22 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
L
Coexist
a bad roommate situation can be coming from one of the roommates going through a really hard time.”
College is about opening your eyes to the vast amount of experiences out there, and sharing a space with someone different from you is just one of the many situations that can seem frustrating at the time but will actually do you a world of good. “Keep in mind, sometimes
Remember your resources
from page 22
CU wants its students to have a positive experience, Theiler said. That’s why there are so many people to go to when roommate conflict grows. Theiler recommends starting with the RAs in your
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer You may end up with a roommate whose personality is so different from yours, you fear ever getting along. But you might learn to love her even if she wears garishly bright colors and is annoyingly obsessed with her health.
building. These folks are trained in conflict management and have usually seen their fair share of roomie spats. They should be able to recommend helpful options like on-campus counselling,
escalating the situation to involving a hall director or going through the process of getting a new roommate, altogether. “We know that roommate conflicts can affect academic
performance,” Theiler said. “When it gets really bad, we want to accommodate a switch.” Elizabeth Hernandez: twitter.com/ehernandez
Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer Izabella Dziecharska and her mother unpack her things in her dorm room at Williams Village on the University of Colorado Boulder campus. That space in cramped for more than one person to inhabit, which basically guarantees there will be problems down the line.
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 29, 2017 • 23
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Workout
Try moves like Throne or High-Flying Whale Acro Fusion feels like a structured recess for adults
and the spotter, if a spotter was needed. During an activity, participants are asked to play all three roles in their turn. By Kate Jonuska great-grandma to his 2-yearThe variety and increasing For the Colorado Daily old niece. complexity of the moves was The drop-in Acro Fusion Boulder Circus Center, 4747 well planned, and I was 26th St., 303-444- 8110, boul- sessions Hamity leads can amazed how quickly I felt feel more like a club than a dercircuscenter.net comfortable trying acro workout since the local Acro Instructor: When your job moves like Throne, High-Flyscene is a jolly crew who is to get people off their feet ing Whale and, the class’ mostly know one another, and into the air, establishing peak activity, an intermediatethough all are super-friendly trust is key, and with his level “pop” from one position to novices. Hamity also made warm, open demeanor, you to the other that literally can’t ask for better than Ryan new and old alike feel welmade me clap my hands with come during the class I Hamity. Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer glee. An acrobat and performer, attended, having each memAdrienne Haeger flies in the Bird Pose while being supported by Katie What’s different? Unlike so ber of the group introduce Frayler during an Acro Fusion class at the Boulder Circus Center. Hamity has led Acro Fusion many calorie- or muscle-foclasses at the Boulder Circus themselves and explaining cused workouts, Acro Fusion person or people in various as plank and its many variaeven the most basic moves Center for four years and has feels like a structured recess with both patience and clarity. tions) and a fun cardio burst. positions), or it might have helped hundreds of people for adults, meaning that you elements of gymnastics, yoga Once the class began in earWhat is the workout? conquer their fears while or other movement practices. will sweat and you will be nest, we gathered together Class starts with group strengthening their core. In I was incredibly impressed physically challenged but several times for instruction, stretching and a warm-up fact, he’s gotten all sorts in almost as an afterthought, with the instructors’ clear then broke into groups of two routine consisting of corethe air, making flyers out of the main goal being having descriptions of each new or three to put into practice everyone from his 90-year-old strengthening moves (such fun. move from the point of view the demonstrated activity. This is not the place to go of everyone involved — The activity might be pure to lose weight or tone up fast. acrobatics (meaning a person instructions were given in See ACRO, page 27 detail for the base, the flyer or people holding another
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Acro
from page 26
Aside from the warmup, my class featured no other cardio, and none of my muscles became fatigued thanks to the rotating roles we all played and the regular instructional breaks. The goal instead is to stretch yourself mentally as well as physically, taking your body for an open-minded test drive to see what it can do. Communication with your partner or group is also as much a part of the learning process as the movement itself. Speaking of open-minded, there are challenges in Acro Fusion you will not face at other workouts. As the flyer, you have to become comfortable having a stranger put their bare feet between your shoulder blades or, as the base, moving your feet to find the ideal placement on your partner’s butt. Neither are usually part of my exercise routine. But again, there was no judgement or shyness about the body in Acro Fusion, and it was a joy to witness people
of all sizes, shapes and levels of experience strike a graceful pose while suspended in air. Cost: $10 Level: All levels of experience welcome, from seasoned acrobats to novices. (Advanced Acro Fusion classes are available for participants who can demonstrate proficiency.) Hamity says a background in yoga, gymnastics or dance can be helpful but only a playful attitude is necessary. When: 8-10 p.m. Thursdays. My class wrapped up about 9:40 p.m., leaving the remainder of the time for free play in the gym. What to prepare: Be sure to complete the safety waiver on the Circus Center’s website before participation. I recommend bringing water and sticking with workout clothes of the stretchier, tighter variety, the type in which you’d feel comfortable being upside down in a spotted handstand for several minutes (one of the first activities of the class I attended). Layers can be helpful because sweat tends to dry and chill during instructional
er adults. Flying another person on my feet — partners/ groups are matched by size as much as possible, meaning I was always with another woman about as tall as I am — reminded me of being a kid and playing around barefoot in the grass. What I didn’t like: I did find it a strain to be on my hands or using them to support others so much. My wrists were a little tweaky the next day, and I’d consider wrist support if Acro Fusion becomes a part of my regular routine. Personally, I’d also plan on Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer the class being a supplement Steve Powers flies in the Bird Pose with support from Logan Emerick in to a daily workout rather than the Acro Fusion class at the Boulder Circus Center. a substitute. My heart rate breaks. The class takes place er’s chest curls upward like simply didn’t get or stay very barefoot. the Cobra yoga pose. high, and I felt like I utilized Muscles worked: Every What I loved: Thanks to existing strength more than I one of my muscles worked at Hamity and the more was building new strength. one point or another, but my advanced demonstrators who After all — and this is a fun core didn’t get a break, every broke down each pose into realization more than a drawactivity requiring conscious accessible steps, I loved that I back — once you understand and constant core engagehad little to no fear — which the activity, stack your joints ment. For example, as a base was less than I expected. and balance the weight, holdfor any pose, the small of With mostly a yoga backing an acrobatic pose can feel your back is pressed solid ground, I didn’t know how remarkably easy. How I felt after the class: into the ground for support, my skills would translate, but and as flyer, being engaged I found an environment full of Enthusiastic and ready for and rigid makes you easier to encouragement and comfort- more. I can hear the siren call of the circus, urging me to hold aloft. The back also got a ably free from judgment. run away from gravity every lot of work, especially as a top Most of all, I loved feeling in Flyer/Bird, where the flylike I had a playdate with oth- Thursday night.
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Get Social
Photos by Nick Mott / Colorado Daily Tim Brod of Highland Honey runs his booth at the Farmers Market.
Fran paints by the creek in Boulder Canyon.
Above: Yogis practice in Central Park in Boulder. Above right: Kristy practices yoga while Cammie rests in Central Park.
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Workout
Boot camp-style karate exercises the whole body Every week is different in Combat Fitness class
gaining a certain confidence and discipline about themselves. I like seeing adults make that kind of progress. They need a coach, too. By Katie Nelson Everyone needs a coach.” For the Colorado Daily What is the workout? This Boulder Karate, 1672 30 th is a boot camp-style workout. Every week is different, and St, Boulder, 303-442- 4330, even the layout of the class boulderkarate.com Instructor: For the past 18 can change from week to week. “No two weeks are the years, Boulder Karate has been going strong, and for 15 same. Every week has its own theme or focus,” Ranof those years, Brad Randolph said. dolph has been running the Some weeks, it’s stations. gym. He started training in Other weeks, there is a list of martial arts at age 11 and exercises that each person says he “took to it naturally completes at their own pace. and found a passion for it.” The whole class is very laid Karate, like dance and gymnastics, is often associat- back and mostly includes students who practice karate ed with the young. So I was at the studio. surprised by the number of The Combat Fitness class I adults in this fitness-based workout class, as well as the attended included 11 statraditional martial arts class. tions. Each person had their own station, and after 50 sec“I love seeing people get onds, we would rotate to the something out of it long term,” Randolph said. “I like next station. They included side lunges, jump rope, Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer seeing kids growing up See COMBAT, page 30 through martial arts and Owner Brad Randolph works out during a combat fitness class at Alpine Martial Arts in Boulder.
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 29, 2017 • 29
Combat
from page 29
mountain climbers and lunge kicks. We went through all of the stations twice and then ended with ab exercises. What’s different: The relaxed nature of the class makes it enjoyable and low stress, lending to a more selfpaced workout. You can focus on technique or speed, pushing yourself as hard and as fast as you want. That doesn’t mean it’s not a challenging workout. I was sweating up a storm by the end. “We have a small enough group that we can keep it light-hearted. I think that fun component really keeps people thinking about something else besides the hard workout,” says Randolph. I also like the clandestine nature of this class. The only advertisement is a sign over the water fountain. Like unlocking a secret level in a video game, you have to play
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Above: Jerry Moncrief works out with others during a combat fitness class at Alpine Martial Arts in Boulder. Above right: Rachel Mahloch uses dumbells during a combat fitness class at Alpine Martial Arts.
the game to find the secret gems in this studio. Boulder Karate holds all kinds of seminars and kids’ summer camps. They also host free women’s self-defense classes. Check out their Facebook page to unlock some of the secret rooms in this dojo. Cost: $20 for a month subscription. You can’t find a better deal than that. Level: Randolph recommends a moderate level of fitness for this class. At the
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same time, he offers simple modifications that make the exercise more approachable if your level of fitness isn’t there yet. “If someone is struggling, I’ll show them a modified exercise for each station.” When: 6 p.m. Wednesdays, 8:30 a.m. Saturdays What to prepare: Workout clothes, but everyone was wearing a Boulder Karate T-shirt. If you decide to pay the $20, it would probably be worth buying a T-shirt as well. Muscles worked: This class was full body. We
worked arms, legs and abs. Other weeks, the class can be more targeted to a particular skill or part of the body. What I loved: Everyone was really friendly and welcoming. The exercises were tiring, but Randolph was encouraging instead of demanding. He also fully participated in the class, which is an unusual sight when you’re used to having the teacher dictate the exercise while they watch you carry it out. When the ab exercises got to be too much and he rested, it made me feel better about my own level of
fatigue. It’s easy to imagine yourself as wholly inadequate in comparison to an instructor, especially when they are pushing you from the sidelines. What I didn’t like: The class was fun and challenging. I have no complaints to register. How I felt after the class: This class put me in a good mood. The attitude of the students and the openness of the gym made it feel like a family. As a Midwesterner with warm, fuzzy feelings toward family and friends, that goes a long way for me.
Workout
First-timers welcome at Warrior Playground
By Katie Nelson For the Colorado Daily Warrior Playground at Grit Fitness, 2415 Wedgewood Ave., Longmont, warrior playground.com Instructor: Sam Banola is a personal trainer with 20 years of experience. An avid fan of the “American Ninja Warrior” TV show, Banola was hooked the first time he tried it for himself. When he moved his practice to Longmont and found a facility with a large outdoor area, he seized a prime opportunity to set up his own ninja warrior course. “This has been a fountain of youth, and I love it. It’s fun to do, but it’s also a whole new way to challenge yourself,” says Banola. The Warrior Playground offers competitions, too. The next one will be a team ninja tournament on Saturday, Sept. 16. What is the workout? Nothing you’ve ever tried
before. It can be equated to an advanced jungle gym, where the object is more than just having a fun time at the park. If you’re not familiar with the TV show, imagine a massive obstacle course that includes running, jumping, swinging and climbing. Like any obstacle course, the goal is to reach the end successfully. In this class, the goal is to try it at least once. The course is set up to mimic the obstacles on the TV show. There are four main stations that challenge your strength and agility in various ways. Each station has a laundry list of different activities, such as a horizontal climbing wall where you go across instead of up, staggered monkey bars, and a hallway where you need to press your hands and feet into the wall to create enough tension to shimmy down the hallway without
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer John Gover walls along the parallel walls on the Warrior Playground course.
touching the ground. This class is an introduction to the course. Banola took us through all of the
obstacles, explaining how they work and had each person try them a couple of times. There were so many
different exercises that we didn’t make it to all the stations. It’s just enough to get
See WARRIOR, page 32
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 29, 2017 • 31
Warrior
incline to grab onto a bar used to pull yourself up to a platform. Next, you swing from page 31 from a rope and attempt to your feet wet and your arms grapple onto a set of rings. tired. If this class leaves you Doing each one separately is physically demanding, and wanting more, you can stay then stringing them together afterward for an open gym is technically difficult. For session. people who are tired of the What’s different: When I same old workout, especially posed this question to Banoclimbers and parkour enthula, I got a straightforward siasts, this takes you to a answer: It’s more fun. whole new world full of chal“Especially as you learn the techniques and you start lenges. Cost: Single classes cost becoming more able to do $20, and 10 packs run $175. the obstacles, then they get Level: “This is a beginnermore addictive. As your level class that we scale,” strength and fitness according to Banola. “There improves, you can do more are people who come in for challenging obstacles. You the first time. We also have start opening more doors of opportunity of the things you some people who were gymnasts for years and now they can try,” says Banola. Everything about this class are looking for a new outlet.” For many of the exercises, is different. One series has there are different levels that you running up a curved
challenge students to aim higher. Some of the obstacles require a base level of fitness, especially upper body. While you work on your pull-ups, there are other exercises that test your agility and balance without requiring hulking forearms. When: This intro class is held from 3 to 4 p.m. every Saturday. What to prepare: Wear normal workout clothes and sneakers. The course is outside, so sunglasses, a hat and sunblock wouldn’t go amiss. Be sure to bring some water
— you’ll need it. Muscles worked: What muscles didn’t I work would be a better question. The obstacles are so varied that I worked everything from my fingers to my toes. The outsides of my thighs and my arms were taxed the most. What I loved: This was a real challenge. Numerous exercises were so hard, I could attempt them only once. As you keep working and get better, I can see where this would be very rewarding. You can really
measure your progress in terms of a tangible increase in ability. You climb farther, jump higher, grit your teeth and push through to the end. What I didn’t like: It was pretty hard on the joints in some cases. Using my body as a human bridge was painful on my wrists, which I wasn’t too jazzed about. How I felt after the class: Humbled, very humbled. It’s much harder than it looks. You could leave feeling like a wimp or a warrior on your way to conquering the world one rope swing at a time.
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Above: John Gover begins his climb up the ramp as part of the Warrior Playground workout. Above right: Jacob Gover, left, and his sister Amanda take on the climbing wall at the GritFitness Center.
32 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
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Workout
Try doing some crunches — upside down AirFIT at Iluminar Aerial in Broomfield
By Katie Nelson For the Colorado Daily Iluminar Aerial, 2655 Industrial Lane, Broomfield, 720-445- 0415, iluminar aerial.com Instructor: Daniel Nolasco is originally from El Paso, Texas, and he moved to Colorado at a young age. His resume is very impressive. He trained in aerial dance at Frequent Flyers Productions in Boulder. He then completed the two-year professional program at the New England Center for Circus Arts in Brattleboro, Vt., before joining the staff at Iluminar Aerial. What is the workout? AirFIT is a unique strengthtraining workout, using aerial silks and rope to build practical strength. By practical, I mean these exercises Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer build the strength needed to Natalie Morvay works out during an AirFIT class at the Iluminar Aerial Studio in Broomfield. excel in other aerial endeav-
ors, whether that’s aerial acrobatics, trapeze or just climbing a rope. Aerial silks are large ribbons of fabric that hang from the ceiling. They can hang either like a hammock, with both ends secured at the ceiling, or straight down, like tails that can be tied together or hang loose. The rope is not the kind you might have used in middle school gym, the rough, rather painful variety that was used for climbing. This rope is made of cotton. It’s soft with some stretch, grippy without being painful to the touch. The class began with a very thorough warm up, some jogging and lunges across the floor. This was followed by plank holds, pushups and crunches. There isn’t any question that this is an intense core workout.
See AERIAL, page 34
Program Council Presents
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Thursday, September 7th Macky Auditorium Students: $25 Public: $35 Doors: 6:30 PM Tickets Available at: http://bit.ly/MulaneyBoulder
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 29, 2017 • 33
Aerial
one thing to do crunches. It’s a whole other thing to do it upside down while trying to from page 33 keep your body stable. My core was constantly Once you get further into the class, you’ll understand why. engaged, and I didn’t need any verbal reminders from There were 10 different stathe instructor. To stay in the tions, each one using either an aerial silk or rope. Daniel silks or on the rope, my abs had to be engaged to comexplained the exercise for each station and demonstrat- plete the exercise. “It targets ed how to use the apparatus. the body in a different way. Each one focused on a dif- Being upside down makes you more self-aware of your ferent part of the body. surroundings. It makes you There was rope climbing, side crunches with your feet think individually of the muscles, trying to engage and in the aerial sling, upsidetrying to target them,” Nolasdown crunches, leg lifts co says. while holding onto the rope The workout is self-guided. and a stretching station, to Everyone is doing somename a few. My personal thing different. You can take favorite was the crying stayour time, relax when you’re tion, which is like an aerial tired and then jump back in. hammock for when you’re If your arms have had tired and you need a break enough, you don’t have to or you want to freestyle. I choose the rope climb. You just laid in it like a cocoon and lamented that I shouldn’t can chill at the stretching stahave eaten half a pizza before tion or do side crunches. Cost: Drop-in classes are working out. $20. The studio offers multiWe had three minutes at class punch cards: 12 classes each station. We could pick for $144, eight classes for which one we wanted to do, $112 or four classes for $64. assuming no one else had Level: Beginner to claimed it already. What’s different: The aeri- advanced students can take al apparatus takes this work- this class. If you are looking out to a whole new level. It’s to try an aerial class, this is a
Photos by Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Instructor Daniel Nolasco works with Ashley Hoerner during an class at the Iluminar Aerial Studio.
good place to start and build some strength. Advanced students can focus on areas where they are lacking. “Especially for the warm-up, I try to tone it down if I see there are a lot of new people,” says Nolasco. “If not, I try to push it further. There is no limit on age or body weight — anyone who wants
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to try it can try it. As long as you have the enthusiasm and drive for it, you’re going to do really well.” When: 7 to 8 p.m. Mondays, 11:10 a.m. to 12:10 p.m. Saturdays What to prepare: Regular workout clothes. Long pants are suggested so your legs don’t come into direct contact with the silks, which can be uncomfortable and cause rope burns. Muscles worked: This is definitely a core workout, followed closely by upper body. Your legs get in on the action with the leg lifts and rope climbs, but from the waist up, I was exhausted. At least I could still walk out the door at the end. What I loved: I felt like I was getting a workout on a jungle gym. You’re having a fun time, doing something
cool and different while working every muscle in your body. I always enjoy workouts that make you feel like you’ve learned a new skill, something you can take home with you instead of just sore muscles. What I didn’t like: It was very humbling, which I begrudgingly admit. Doing an exercise for three minutes is difficult, especially a new one. There wasn’t any expectation from the instructor that I should be able to do it the whole time, just my personal drive to prove myself. We could all use a little reality check from time to time. How I felt after the class: Like jelly. My arms made it until I got home, and I collapsed on the couch in a heap. I keep telling myself I need to work on my abs. Mission accomplished.
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34 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Instructor Daniel Nolasco leads an AirFIT class in Broomfield.
CU rec center
Inclusive program means no excuses Center hosts events for students with disabilities, members of LGBTQ, veteran communities
CU Inclusive Recreation
By Sarah Kuta and Aimee Heckel For the Colorado Daily
on the Boulder campus. As part of a new inclusive recreation initiative, the recently renovated center is rom Zumba classes offering specialized events taught in American Sign and programming to better Language to adaptive ice serve students with mobility skating equipment, the Uniimpairments, visual impairversity of Colorado Recrements and other disabilities. ation Center wants to be the The center is also hosting fitness hub for all students events to welcome LGBTQ students, veterans and members of other groups to the Vijay Viswanathan, a graduate facility, said Nicole student at the University of LaRocque, associate director Colorado, climbs Bastile in of programs for the CU RecEldorado Canyon in 2015. Viswanathan became paralyzed reation Center. from the chest down after a “It’s about serving those climbing accident but stays active that we may not be serving by using adaptive equipment. otherwise or trying to meet Grey Satterfield / their specific needs while Courtesy Paradox Sports
For more information, visit colorado.edu/recreation/ inclusive-rec or call Nicole LaRocque at 303-4921091.
F
educating and creating a welcoming environment,” she said. “Oftentimes, people think the rec center is treadmills and basketball courts, and it’s not. It’s community, it’s education and it’s development.” Center staffers went through training offered by Paradox Sports, a Boulder nonprofit that specializes in adaptive climbing programs.
See CENTER, page 36
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Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer New students can join CU Bound, which spans a team-building obstacle course, rock climbing in the rec center, and a pool party and barbecue with other noobs.
Center
from page 35 The university has also partnered with Paradox Sports on several indoor and outdoor climbing events for students with disabilities. “Our first adaptive climb last spring had about 20 people, and it was so cool to
see,” LaRocque said. “People were there with guide dogs. I even got a thank you note in Braille.” Students can use adaptive strength-training equipment in the weight room, and the center recently purchased ice sleds and walkers for adaptive ice skating. Mike McNeil, access coordinator for CU Disability Ser-
Colorado Daily file photo CU student Chris Cernac watches as instructor Rob Baumgartner shows how make a correct knot before climbing routes on the climbing wall at the CU Rec Center.
vices, said the university wants students to feel included at all times, not just when they’re in the classroom. “Our students come here for the same reasons everybody else does,” he said. “It’s a great academic school. A lot of students who come here want to snowboard, go rock climbing, they want to kayak, they want to mountain
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Come Early to Buy Your Peaches! 36 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
bike.” Boulder’s love of outdoor recreation and the academic opportunities at CU drew Vijay Viswanathan here from South Carolina in 2003. Shortly after he moved to Boulder, Viswanathan was involved in an outdoor climbing accident that left him paralyzed from the chest down. Viswanathan is pursuing a bachelor’s degree in finance and a concurrent master’s degree in accounting at CU. When he’s not in class or working at a Boulder wealth advisory firm, Viswanathan also volunteers with Paradox Sports. He participated in one of the adaptive climbing days held at the recreation center last year and has also helped the center test out some of its adaptive gear. Viswanathan, who regularly skis, climbs and rides mountain bikes, said he’s impressed that CU is seeking help from experts, such as those at Paradox Sports, so that students will have the best experience possible. “They’re really going above and beyond to enable students and faculty with disabilities to use the equipment and use the facility to the fullest extent possible,” he said.
Rec center basics
CU has two different indoor rec centers. The Student Rec Center offers more than 300,000 square feet of
space, spanning multiple basketball and tennis courts, an ice rink, three artificial turf and four grass fields, four pools, a 7,000-square-foot climbing gym and more. The Bear Creek Rec Center caters to students living in Williams Village. Full fee-paying students have access to both facilities, although some of the features cost extra. For example, the climbing gym costs $25 extra per semester and group fitness classes are $85. Intramural sports and special instructional classes such as martial arts, dance and tennis lessons also have various additional fees, according to Annie Mulvany, the assistant director of marketing for CU rec. And with a school this close to the mountains, there’s a whole natural, outdoor recreational wonderland to explore. One of the unique features CU students can take advantage of is the Outdoor Program, which brings students on outdoor excursions and teaches them about safety, the environment and outdoor skills. Learn to kayak, scuba, rock climb or ice climb. For new students who want a taste of the outdoors, there’s CU Bound, which spans a team-building obstacle course, rock climbing in the rec center, and a pool party and barbecue with other new students.
Lube
A hemp, vegan, edible ‘intimacy enhancer’
Kama Cream dispenses with synthetic ingredients By Aimee Heckel For the Colorado Daily
I
eat organic food. I use nontoxic cleaning supplies. I try to choose the safest lotions and soaps — and even toothpaste. I thought I’d covered all of the bases. Nope. I forgot home base. I can’t say I’d ever thought about the ingredients in what the grocery stores so stiffly label “personal lubricants” until I talked to Boulderite Shadi Ramey. Ramey says she hadn’t thought about it before, either, until a jar of her homemade hemp lotion was sitting by the bed when the mood struck and she reached for it instead of her old go-to. She’d been so careful in crafting her hemp lotion, which is made with only five ingredients that are all organic or non-GMO: organic coconut oil, avocado oil, organic shea butter, organic cocoa butter and organic hemp seed oil. (She removed the almond oil once she learned how much water it takes to grow an almond and heard stories of fracking water being used to do so, she says.) First, she says she tried her lotion in lieu of lube and it was better. Second, she says it made her curious what some of the most popular lubes were actually made of. You know, products that we not only put on our most sensitive organs, but also put inside our bodies. Only seven ingredients, including water. But that was mixed with a cocktail of glycerin, hydroxyethylcellulose, chlorhexidine gluconate, gluconolactone, methylparaben
Courtesy photo Boulderite Shadi Ramey launched Kama Cream in April at the NoCo Hemp Expo, earning the title of the world’s first hemp “intimacy enhancer” that is vegan and edible.
and sodium hydroxide. You want to put what on my what? “Knowledge is power, but it’s also painful,” Ramey says. “They say they only have seven ingredients, but those seven ingredients are adrenal, hormonal and menstrual cycle interrupters ... by-products of the oil and gas industry not to be used on our skin or inside of our bodies — our intimate, precious parts of ourselves. We are having these intimate experiences with toxic chemicals.” Indeed, there are growing concerns about ingredients in beauty and personal products, in particular parabens (a synthetic type of preserva-
tive), which you see in popular lubes. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics notes that parabens can mimic estrogen by binding to estrogen receptors, i.e. they can disrupt endocrine function. The question remains how much is dangerous. While your standard lube contains a low amount of parabens in line with FDA regulations, that doesn’t account for the cumulative effect of slipping and sliding around in that pool of parabens your entire adult life. Then there’s “chlorhexidine gluconate,” an antibacterial. That sounds cool, until you remember the
See KAMA, page 38 WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 29, 2017 • 37
Kama from page 37 importance of healthy vaginal bacteria, which fight infections.
“There’s an assumption, a silent agreement when you walk into the grocery store, that if it’s on the store shelf, you feel like it’s got to be safe. If wouldn’t be here to put on and mix with our genitals if it weren’t safe. Right?” Ramey says.
She is passionate about health and food; she has a 30-acre farm in Hygiene, has been a Boulder chef and cooking teacher for more than a decade, founded Eat With Intention and has a master’s degree in cultural anthropology, which has led to a specialty in global cuisine. She calls herself a culinary anthropologist. It was her love of plant-based products that led her to create hemp lotion — which, after that random trial in the bedroom, was renamed Kama Cream (kama is Sanskrit for pleasure or desire).
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You can still use it on your whole body, face and hair, too, she says. And you can eat it. Just saying. Ramey launched Kama Cream in April at the NoCo Hemp Expo, earning the title of the world’s first hemp “intimacy enhancer” that is vegan and edible. It is also “made with intention,” cruelty free, planet friendly and preservative free, and the packaging is designed to have a small carbon footprint. Ramey doesn’t call it a lube for two reasons. First, she says it’s expensive to go to through the process of qualifying for the legal title of “lubricant.” Second, she says a lubricant insinuates that something needs to be fixed, whereas she prefers the idea of an enhancer. “There’s nothing like it. It’s like whipped butter that melts when you put it on,” she says. Besides an ingredient list
that you can pronounce, hemp actually is good for the environment and your health, Ramey says. It’s rich in omega 3 and 6 fatty acids and is a good source of vitamin E, which the skin loves, she says. It can grow in all kinds of climates and is resistant to most pests, and it can be used instead of wood, requiring fewer chemicals to pulp it. “It’s the most amazing plant on the planet,” Ramey says. Kama Cream is a womenowned, women-run company that donates 1 percent of all proceeds toward environmental causes and composts and recycles everything, Ramey says. “I am using it as a force for good and as a direct action against these big companies who have entered the realm of our sexuality,” she says. You can buy Kama Cream online at kamacream.com and at special events around Boulder.
Photos by Nick Mott/ Colorado Daily Martinez and Hana practice yoga in Central Park.
Martinez practices her bridge pose in Central Park.
Saturday, September 16, 2017 Join us for this scenic ride along the Front Range in Boulder County, Colorado. Choose from a variety of routes and enjoy great food, music and giveaways —all in support of Craig Hospital programs for individuals with spinal cord or brain injuries. There is a course for riders with every skill and ability.
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Catalyst Foundation Boston Beer Company
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38 • AUGUST 29, 2017 • WELCOME BACK
Famous Dave’s
Townsend Rep Group
Martinez and Hana fall out of their pose.
Columnist Q&A
Fantz gets down ’n’ dirty in ‘Fantz in Your Pants’ Christy’s relationship/sex advice column appears Tuesdays in the Daily
praise your name? By establishing Goddess Route 666. I’ll borrow Zeus’ thunderbolt to scold blinkerless drivers. I’ll gift Sunday drivers who are clogging the passing lane with a lead foot. You have 24 hours to By Deanna Hardies enjoy the experience life as the oppoColorado Daily Columnist show. (“I did site sex. What’s your first not fart, you hristy Fantz pens a relamove? asshole. tionship/sex column for Get hired for a position Stop yelling the Colorado Daily on Tuesalongside an equally qualiat me. Go days. From furries to cannaFantz fied female professional and depress bis lube to gangbangs, she’s wager high-stakes Vegas your anger got Boulder’s drawers covbets on how much more in the other room. Er, loft. I ered. With words. For more money I’ll be rewarded for mean, right over there.”) hands-on coverage, please having bits and a throat Or I’ll lurk in church shadsend cash. apple. Then obviously play You have died and become ows until ecclesiastical with my ding dong. authority hypocrites all over a ghost. What place or Oh no! You’re missing a canon law. I’ll hurl decades object do you haunt, and finger. How did that hapof indoctrinated Catholic how do you express your Stephanie Swartz / Courtesy photo pen? guilt all over the parking lot. otherworldly frustration? You’d be surprised how many problems just walk the other way when you Not sure. I woke up faceBYO swimsuit and snacks. I’ll crop-dust tiny houses wield a chainsaw. down in Boulder Creek with The U.S. Treasury with rancid farts during dana gut full o’ whiskey, a backannounces it will begin issu- year. Simple logic. (FollowAfter a successful intergerous hail storms so I can pack full of prairie dogs, a ing $7 bills. Whose face will ing in close second is George view, the Gods of Small watch arguments spark Subaru receipt in my bra and Annoyances have hired Costanza for wanting to between newlywed millenni- be on it? a tattoo on my taint. you as an entry-level deity. Mine. I was born in the name his firstborn son als who can’t escape. I’ll See FANTZ, page 42 How will your worshipers seventh month of the 77th Seven.) drink all their booze and
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Need more detail? A full campus map that displays wheelchair-accessible sidewalks, construction zones, ATMs, food options and parking is available online at colorado.edu/map.
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Directory Emergency (answered on campus) . . . . . . . . . . 911 Directory and Operator Assistance Administrative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-1411 Student . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-786-1411 TDD (Hearing Impaired) . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-0833 Admissions, Regent 125 . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6301 Alumni Association Koenig Alumni Center, 1202 University Avenue . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-8484 Athletics, Intercollegiate, Tickets Stadium 126 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-8337 Bursar’s Office, Regent 150 . . . . . . . . 303-492-5381 Buses, City—RTD, 14th and Walnut Streets . . . . . . . . . . 303-299-6000 Career Services, C4C N352 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6541 Continuing Education, 1505 University Avenue . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-5148 Counseling Services C4C S440 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6766 CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St. . . . . 303-492-8300 CU Book Store, UMC 10 . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6411 Cultural Unity and Engagement Center, C4C N320 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-5667 Disability Services, C4C, N200 . . . . 303-492-8671 Financial Aid, Regent 175 . . . . . . . . 303-492-5091 Fiske Planetarium 2414 Regent Dr. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-5002 Greek Activities UMC 411–413 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6359 Heritage Center Old Main, third floor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6329 Housing Residence Halls, C4C S300 . . . . . . . 303-492-6673 Family Housing, 1350 20th Street . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6384 Housing and Neighborhood Relations, UMC 313 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-7053 International Education C4C S355 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-8057 Library, Norlin, 18th & Colorado Streets General Libraries Information . . . . . . 303-492-8705 Museum of Natural History Henderson Building . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6892 Parking Services 1050 Regent Drive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-7384 Police, University (UCPD), 1050 Regent Drive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6666 Ralphie’s Resource Center Regent Hall IB80 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-735-7257 Recreation Center, Student 1835 Pleasant St. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6051 Registrar, Regent 105 . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6970 Sommers-Bausch Observatory, 2475 Kittredge Loop . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6732 University Memorial Center (UMC) Reception Desk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6161
University Buildings & Facilities AAC Academic Advising Center: SIT (Students in Transition) C-3 ARCE Administrative and Research Center (East Campus) J-2 ARMR Armory D-4 FPA Arts and Sciences Finance and Payroll Administration D-2 OB1 Arts and Sciences Office Building 1 D-4 ATLS ATLAS Building, Roser (Alliance for Technology, Learning and Society) G-6 FH Balch Fieldhouse E-7 BESC Benson Earth Sciences F-9 MCOL Bruce Curtis Building (Museum Collections) G-3 CARL Carlson Gymnasium E-7 CAS Center for Asian Studies D-2 CASA Center for Astrophysics and Space Astronomy L-3 C4C Center for Community I-9 CHMP Champions Center D-9 DACR Children’s Center: Main Offices A-9 CIRE CIRES (Cooperative Institute for Research in Environmental Sciences) F-5 CLRE Clare Small Arts and Sciences D-6 COMP Computing Center J-3 CEDU Continuing Education Center D-4 EVNT Coors Events/Conference Center / Basketball– Volleyball Practice Facility I-12 CHEM Cristol Chemistry and Biochemistry G-5 DALW Dal Ward Athletic Center D-8 DEN Denison Arts and Sciences G-4 DLC Discovery Learning Center F-11 DDW Duane D-Wing F-7 DUAN Duane Physics and Astrophysics F-7 EDEP East District Energy Plant H-13 HUMN Eaton Humanities Building E-5 ECON Economics Building F-3 EDUC Education Building G-4 EKLC Ekeley Sciences Building F-5 EC Engineering Center F-11 ENVD Environmental Design G-7 EHSC Environmental Health and Safety Center H-13 EPRK Euclid Avenue AutoPark G-6 FISK Fiske Planetarium and Science Center J-10 FLMG Fleming Building K-10 • Folsom Field E-8 • Gamow Tower (in Duane Physics and Astrophysics) F-7 COTT Gates Woodruff Women’s Studies Cottage F-3 GOLD Gold Biosciences Building (MCD Biology) E-7 GROC Grounds and Recycling Operations Center G-13 GUGG Guggenheim Geography F-3 HALE Hale Science E-3 HLMS Hellems Arts and Sciences (includes Mary Rippon Outdoor Theatre) G-4 HEND Henderson Building (Museum of Natural History) G-4 HFOC Housing & Dining Services Facilities Operations Center K-3 HSSC Housing System Service Center J-2 MUS Imig Music Building H-7 IPRC Indoor Practice Facility D-9 IBG Institute for Behavioral Genetics K-1 IBS Institute of Behavioral Science C-3 ITLL Integrated Teaching and Learning Laboratory G-11 IEC International English Center G-2 BIOT Jennie Smoly Caruthers Biotechnology Building L-2 JILA JILA G-7 KTCH Ketchum Arts and Sciences F-6 KOBL Koelbel Building (Business, Leeds School of) H-10 ALUM Koenig Alumni Center E-2 LSTR LASP Space Technology Research Center L-3 LESS Lesser House F-11 LSRL Life Science Research Laboratory, RL4 K-1 MCKY Macky Auditorium D-4 MSSC Marine Street Science Center, Research Laboratory, RL6 J-2 • Mary Rippon Outdoor Theatre (at Hellems Arts and Sciences) G-4
MATH Mathematics Building F-10 MKNA McKenna Languages E-4 MUEN Muenzinger Psychology E-7 • Museum of Natural History (in Henderson Building) G-4 LIBR Norlin Library E-6 MAIN Old Main E-4 PFDC Page Foundation Center D-3 PDPS Police and Parking Services G-12 PORT Porter Biosciences E-7 POWR Power House F-6 RAMY Ramaley Biology E-6 RGNT Regent Administrative Center I-8 RPRK Regent Drive AutoPark G-12, J-9 RL2 Research Laboratory, RL2 K-1 GH-3 Research Park Greenhouse K-1 LITR Rose Litman Research Laboratory, RL1 J-1 • Roser ATLAS Building (see ATLAS Building) G-6 SLL Science Learning Laboratory K-2 OBSV Sommers-Bausch Observatory I-11 SPSC Space Science K-3 SLHS Speech, Language, and Hearing Sciences I-11 STAD Stadium Building E-8 STTB Stadium Ticket Building F-9 REC Student Recreation Center D-7 SEEC Sustainability, Energy and Environment Complex (SEEC) L-4 SEEL Sustainbility, Energy and Environment Complex L-Wing (SEEL) L-4 TLC Technology Learning Center G-6 TB01 Temporary Building No. 1 D-6 TRAN Transportation Center J-2 UCTR University Administrative Center and Annex I-7 CLUB University Club H-6 UMC University Memorial Center G-5 THTR University Theatre Building (includes Charlotte York Irey Theatre) F-4 VAC Visual Arts Complex (includes CU Art Museum) G-6 WARD Wardenburg Health Center H-7 WLFL Wolf Law Building L-11 WDBY Woodbury Arts and Sciences E-5
University Housing ADEN Aden Hall (Engineering Quad) G-9 ANDS Andrews Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-11 ARNT Arnett Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-12 ATCT Athens Court C-7 ATHN Athens North Hall B-6 BKER Baker Hall G-7 BCAP Bear Creek Apartments L-6 BCC Bear Creek Commons (Williams Village) L-5 BRKT Brackett Hall (Engineering Quad) G-9 BUCK Buckingham Hall (Kittredge Complex) K-12 CHEY Cheyenne Arapaho Hall H-7 CKRL Cockerell Hall (Engineering Quad) G-10 CROS Crosman Hall (Engineering Quad) G-10 DLYT Darley Towers (Williams Village) K-5 FACT Faculty–Staff Court C-5 FRND Farrand Hall H-9 HLET Hallett Hall H-9 KCEN Kittredge Central Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-11 KITW Kittredge West Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-10 LIBY Libby Hall G-8 MRCT Marine Court B-7 NTCT Newton Court B-9 REED Reed Hall H-10 SWLL Sewall Hall D-5 SMCT Smiley Court L-1 SMTH Smith Hall (Kittredge Complex) K-11 STRN Stearns Towers (Williams Village) K-6 VCDC Village Center Dining and Community Commons L-6 WLRD Willard Hall H-8 WVN Williams Village North Hall (Williams Village) K-6
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 29, 2017 • 41
Fantz from page 39
Can you direct me to the nearest dispensary? You wake up to a string of epithets shouted in a familiar voice. Gordon Ramsay is pacing in your bedroom, and he won’t go away until you cook something worth his time. What dish can you make to appease him? A burrito inside a burrito inside a burrito inside a burrito. If he doesn’t dig that culinary masterpiece, I always keep angel food cake soaked in nut butter under my pillow for when I need to esophageal spasm someone for nine minutes while I hit snooze. Dangit, now I want a burrito. Can you email one? Hold, please, while I dial-up. Pshhhhh ckckrrrrrrr kaking kaking kaking chchchchch ding ding ding. You’ve got mail. Score, thanks. You’ve managed to slip a subliminal message into every iPhone on the planet. How will you know when it’s working? When I start getting handys under the table. What I meant was, when envelopes stuffed with cash start arriving at my doorstep, Italian-wedding style. Centuries from now, only five words remain legible on your grave. What are they? Veni, vidi, vici, bibi, redibo. In antiquated terms, that means I’m coming back to haunt you fuckers while shitfaced. More or less. Plug your noses.
Read more Fantz: coloradodaily.com/columnists. Stalk her: twitter.com/fantzypants
ITAL ALIAN L LANGUAGE FALL 2017 COURSE for BEGINNERS Sept. 11 through Nov. 13 Monday Afternoons, 2-3:30 PM Monday Evenings, 6:30-8 PM OR Sept. 14 through Nov. 16 Thursday Afternoons, 2-3:30 PM 10 CLASS SESSIONS • COURSE FEE $245 HANDOUT MATERIALS INCLUDED
Ask about Private & Morning Classes Spring & Summer Classes Also Available
AFTERNOON Classes at FIRST National Bank 515 McCaslin Blvd Louisville
EVENING Classes at
Brewing Market Coffee/ Espresso Vino 2770 Dagny Way Lafayette
If you are interested in personal enrichment and/or the Italian language, you'll enjoy this fun and informative event. We will build a core structure that will give you the basic knowledge to begin utilizing the language as well as give you insight into this beautiful culture with the language that sings. Andrew Cangelose received his MFA in Florence, Italy where he lived, studied, and worked for several years. He lives in Louisville and presently teaches Art History online for Blinn College and taught Beginning & Intermediate Italian at Trinity University in San Antonio and also at Texas A&M University. For further information & to register contact: Andrew Cangelose (979) 255-7794 cell • acangelose@gmail.com ACiTAliAN.COM
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That moment you
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