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Dear freshmen
Just do what I say, and everyone will have a good time
context: I’ll be making my weekly rounds, and I’ll pound on your front door at 2 in the morning. You’ll open the door and see me, dressed all in purple and black, backed by my By Alex Burness henchmen, Lanuel and Mimi, Staff Writer who do not speak but who say won’t presume to know plenty with what brought you, dear the wiffle bats reader, to the University of they wield at Colorado. all times. If I were to presume, I’d say You and I that you’re here because you will chit-chat like to smoke weed and play in briefly, and I, the mountains, or because Burness considerate you’re interested in studying gal that I am, science. Probably both. But I’m not going to do that. will ask how classes are going and whether you’ve started This is a city with so many different kinds of white people looking into summer internships. Then you will produce that stereotyping is not only your wallet and give me monwrong, but utterly fruitless. Who am I to pretend to know ey. Just enough to wet my beak. whether you’re a laid-back, Many see me as a fearsome dog-loving, EDM-preferring presence, and I don’t really get liberal who grew up in Colorawhy. I want everyone on camdo, or a laid-back, dog-loving, pus to feel safe and welcome EDM-preferring liberal from in my city, and handing me a out of state? weekly payment or alternate I know my place, and I offering — livestock and stone know my, uh ... not place. So let me speak about what fruits are always appreciated I do know, about where I fit in, — goes a long way toward ensuring you and I get along. and about how your path and Your time in Boulder is mine might intersect during going to be amazing — I your time at CU. promise. It’ll fly by, but at least I’m a pretty normal dude. I you’ll be able to look back and like music and sports and walking door to door through recall sunny days filled with wonderful friendship and the the Hill and campus housing kind of intellectual stimulation extorting money from stuone can really only find at coldents, and like you, I love my lege. friends and family. Typical And if you look back and stuff. recall something else, it is my If you and I ever meet, it’ll See WISDOM, page 15 probably be in the following
I
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INDEX
Student groups................Page 6 Study spots.....................Page 8 Rec center.................... Page 10 Greek life ...................... Page 14 Get Social........Pages 16, 17, 18 Resume tips..................Page 19 Intramural & club sports ..........................Page 22 Campus safety ..............Page 34 Words From a Nerd Q&A..............................Page 38 Space Potato Q&A.........Page 42 CU campus map.....Pages 48, 49
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STUDENT GROUPS
Walk up to the club, sign up From spelunkers to Quidditch enthusiasts, CU has a group for you By Mitchell Byars Staff Writer
C
ollege is a time to explore interests, and that isn’t just limited to classes. The University of Colorado offers hundreds of clubs for students covering all sorts of activities, hobbies and topics, from the Advertising Club to the Zen Society. CU provides a complete list of student activity groups on its Center For Student Involvement website, but we’ve taken the liberty of picking out a few of the unique clubs students can join this semester.
Astronomy Club CU has a long, proud history of launching stuff into space, whether it be fancy contraptions developed at CU or actual people who went to CU. The astronomy club is for people who look up at the stars and wonder at the marvels of the universe, and not just wonder how they ended up lying on the ground in the middle of the night. The club brings together people with an interest in space for field trips, astronomy discussions, presentations by faculty and researchers, and even support and research for projects. For more information, visit the club’s Facebook page.
The Backcountry Club
Are you one of those people never satisfied with just riding up and down the mountain on a ski lift? Well for skiers and snowboarders looking for something a little more off the beaten path, this club is for you.
CU Astronomy Club member Joseph Hicks captured this image this year during a club trip to Brainard Lake
The Backcountry Club is for both experienced backcountry riders and those looking to get into the sport. From organized trips to free gear rentals and safety tips, you’ll be winding your way through the trees in no time. For mor information, visit the club’s website.
Boulder Basilisks Are you a fan of Harry Potter? Are you simply a fan of running around with household cleaning tools tucked under your junk? Either way, you are in luck! The sport of Quidditch as described by J.K. Rowling in her popular wizarding books may never be truly replicated in muggle land — what
6 • AUGUST 19, 2016 • WELCOME BACK
Joseph Hicks / Facebook
with our gravity-bound brooms and all — but you can get the next best thing at CU with the Basilisks. The club holds weekly practices and participates in scrimmages and tournaments with other schools all over the country. For more information, visit the team’s Faceook page.
Boulder Gymnastics Club at the University of Colorado
Every four years, the Summer Olympics launches gymnastics back into the nation’s consciousness. Whether you have caught medal fever or have always loved gymnasFacebook tics, the Boulder Gymnastics The sport of Quidditch may never be truly replicated in the land of
See CLUBS, page 12
muggles, but you can get the next best thing at CU with the Basilisks.
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CU LIBRARIES
Where the Buffs hit the books
A crowdsourced list of the best places to cram around campus By Shay Castle Staff Writer n between the parties and the dating and the learning how to adult that is the American college experience, you might want to get some studying done, too. There’s plenty of space on CU’s 600-acre campus: Nearly every one of its 200 buildings has a chair-and-table set by a window for the desperate last-minute crammer. But those truly in the know have assembled a comprehensive list of places for every scholarly need. The fine folks at Qualify, the Buffs-only dating app, have crowdsourced the CU community’s studious habits. About 1,000 students have divulged their go-to spots through the app’s matching questions. Here are five of the best, along with personal recommendations from founder Sean Chenoweth:
I
Wolf Law Building
A world away from the center of campus, the Wolf Law crowd is studious and seriJeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer ous. Curl up on the sofa by Brandon O’Neill, right, Justin Rowsell and Brody Bilthouse study for a final exam at the Norlin Library on the CU campus in Boulder. the fireplace in Schaden Commons, or step out onto Cooper the the patio for a kickass view of therapy dog Qualify, a Buffsthe Flatirons. gives students Take a break for a game of Zach Maas, only dating app, Olivia Abrant foosball — a table is tucked and Emily away in the southwest crowdsourced
See STUDY, page 13
the community’s studious habits. About 1,000 students have divulged their go-to spots through the app’s matching questions.
8 • AUGUST 19, 2016 • WELCOME BACK
Anderson a break from studying at the Wolf Law Building on the University of Colorado campus. Colorado Daily file photo
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WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 19, 2016 • 9
REC CENTER
Find your fit to get Buff at CU With variety of classes, those fees pay for ‘more than just weights’ By Aimee Heckel Staff Writer
S
ure, it has the standard goodies: a weight room, pools, group fitness classes. But the University of Colorado’s student rec center has much more than just that — with offerings extending out into nature and even your next outdoor vacation. Even if you think you know the CU rec center, it’s time to get reacquainted. It has evolved over the past year, with some new and different features to help keep students active and healthy. CU has two different indoor rec centers, the Student Recreation Center on campus and the Bear Creek Rec Center for students in Williams Village. Full-fee-paying students have access to both facilities, although some features, like the climbing gym, cost extra. The Student Recreation Center spans more than 300,000 square feet, complete with multiple basketball and tennis courts, an ice rink, three artificial turf and four grass fields, four pools, a 7,000-square-foot climbing gym and more.
What’s new this year?
One of the biggest changes with the rec center this year is with its intramurals, says Annie Mulvany, assistant director of marketing for CU’s Recreation Ser vices. This year, students can pay a flat $16.50 to play as many different intramural sports as they want to for the entire semester. In the past, students had to register and pay for each individual activity separately. Mulvany says she hopes
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer The Student Recreation Center on campus has a 7,000-square-foot climbing gym. Bouldering is free the first week of classes.
this will increase involvement in intramurals. Intramural sports are also expanding to some more novel activities, she says. For example, new this year: water basketball and water volleyball in the pool. And for students who don’t want or don’t have the time for a longer commitment, the rec center is offering more tournaments. “The tournaments are shorter, so there’s not as much commitment. It’s two days over the weekend instead of six whole weeks,” she says. Even if you don’t want to play intramurals, the rec center aims to offer a wide
See CENTER, page 15
10 • AUGUST 19, 2016 • WELCOME BACK
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Get in shape in the outdoor pool at the Student Recreation Center on campus.
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Clubs from page 6 Club provides a place for students to swing, vault and tumble to their hearts’ content. Membership is open to all skill levels, but the club is a member of the National Association of Intercollegiate Gymnastics Clubs, so students do have the option to compete. For more information, email bouldergymnastics club@colorado.edu.
ness or legal aspects of the fast-growing industry. For more information, email CLL@colorado.edu.
The Caving Club at CU Boulder
The Caving Club is an organization for avid cavers who enjoy the activities of caving, cave conservation, and educational awareness of the cave ecosystem. The club is an active cooperative between CU students Cannabis Law League and the local chapters Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard all (known as grottos) of The of the weed jokes. But all National Speleological Socikidding aside, the legalizaety that hosts caving trips tion of marijuana has turned and meetings to discuss difcannabis into big business in ferent scientific aspects of Colorado. caving with respect to geoThe Cannabis Law League logical, archaeological and is a student group dedicated ecological fields. to raising awareness about Plus, spelunking is a really potential business and legal fun word to say. Spelunking, opportunities within the can- spelunking, spelunking. nabis industry. The club For more information, visit hosts information sessions, the club’s Facebook page. fundraisers and networking Mitchell Byars: twitter.com/ opportunities for students mitchellbyars looking to get into the busiThe Caving Club at CU is not for the claustrophobic.
12 • AUGUST 19, 2016 • WELCOME BACK
Study from page 8 corner. But quietly: People are trying to study, bro. Another good spot in the building? The library. Just don’t plan a visit during finals, when it’s closed to non-law majors.
Norlin Library
A library’s a bit of an obvious choice for studying, but there’s one spot in particular Qualify users like: the window-heavy top floor. You can sit and overlook Ramaley, the Quad or the aptly named Pleasant Street. “It’s a really good place to de-stress,” said Chenoweth.
Business library
The bottom floor of the Koelbel building is where you go when you want to be inspired and rub shoulders with future (potential) entrepreneurs and CEOs. “You feel like you’re on their level,” Chenoweth mused. “You feel smarter
when you’re there.” It’s a popular spot and often crowded, but private rooms can be reserved.
Top of Duane Physics tower
Technically reserved for graduate students, rebellious undergrads have been sneaking into the top of the physics tower for years. “It’s the most beautiful view on campus,” Chenoweth said.
Pekoe Sip House, ATLAS Building
“It’s super central on campus,” Chenoweth said — right next to the bus stop — “it feels like a hip spot.” Always bustling and busy, it’s better for group-project work than solo studying that requires intense concentration. Shay Castle: twitter.com/ shayshinecastle
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Chase Colwell demonstrates the recumbent studying pose at Norlin Library.
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 19, 2016 • 13
GREEK LIFE
Band of brothers and sisters Sororities, fraternities offer perks like housing, dances and snacks By Sarah Kuta Staff Writer
W
ant to go Greek? You’re not alone. Roughly 14 percent of University of Colorado undergraduates are involved with Greek life on the Boulder campus. We broke down the different types of sororities and fraternities you can join, what it will cost you and what to expect during recruitment and beyond.
Sororities and fraternities
There are two types of councils in the University of Colorado Greek system: the Panhellenic Executive Council and the Multicultural Greek Council. The Panhellenic Executive Council consists of nine national chapters and one associate member that is religiously based, according to Greek life officials. Recruitment for Panhellenic sororities runs Sept. 1-7. Look out for the Greek Life Fair at the University Memorial Center in August, which is an opportunity for new female students to learn about the nine chapters. The Multicultural Greek Council encompasses seven sororities and fraternities that tend to focus on social justice, diversity and culture. Since 2005, fraternities have not been connected to the university officially. The Interfraternity Council acts as a private community organization, but still recruits and caters to male students at CU. There are currently 16 fraternities and two interest groups (basically, fraternity chapters that are in the process of forming) in Boul-
Members of CU fraternities gather in the fountain area of the University Memorial Building during fraternity bid day.
der. Look out for formal IFC recruitment events for fraternities in late September. In the fall of 2015, the university announced that it would like to re-affiliate with the fraternities and launched its own fraternity community for new chapters that would like to start in Boulder. So far, the university has not made any announcements about new fraternity chapters joining its Greek life community.
Jonathan Castner / Daily Camera
houses, which are privately owned and maintained by local or national alumnae house corporations. Some chapters require members to live in these houses, and some do not, but Greek life officials say living in Greek life housing is comparable to other housing options.
It can cost around $1,300 the first year after you join a chapter, which includes some one-time expenses. After that, it’s slightly less Cost expensive each year, dependSome sororities and frater- ing on which chapter you nities have houses for mem- join and whether or not Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer you live in a Greek house. bers to live in. There are University of Colorado sophomores Devon Miner, left, and Lindsay unofficial, off-campus houses Ask about cost during Hoffmann help themselves to some food during “Taco Tuesday” at the and there are official chapter See GREEK, page 24 Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority on University Hill in Boulder.
14 • AUGUST 19, 2016 • WELCOME BACK
Center from page 10 spectrum of activities that appeal to ever yone, Mulvany says. Students can get certified in CPR, First Aid or as a lifeguard. They can sign up for scuba diving classes or take a small-group personal training session. The wellness center offers free nutrition consultation, a Musculoskeletal Injur y Clinic to screen for minor muscle and joint injuries, flu shots and massage. Then there’s the Challenge Course, a high and low ropes course. Planning an outdoor trip or hike?
The rec center’s Adventure Planning Center helps students plan trips, print maps, find equipment and even guide trips. “It’s a good resource for students who want to go out and explore Colorado,” Mulvany says. “We’re more than just weights and cardio equipment,” she adds.
explore and find what they enjoy, before committing to buying passes, Mulvany says. The center offers more than 100 fitness classes ever y week, spanning barre to Zumba to Pilates to TRX. “People can really tr y to find their fit in the rec center, see what they like to do,” she says. How to get the most The second week of classes, all out of the rec center dance and martial arts classes are All group fitness classes, ice skat- free. CU offers hip-hop, Cuban saling and bouldering in the climbing sa and belly dancing. For students who want to play gym are free the first week of classintramurals but don’t know enough es, to allow students the chance to
people for a team, Aug. 25 is the Buff Round-Up, a gathering for students looking for others to form teams with. If you’re interested in playing a sport club, attend the sports club organizational meeting. Find dates and times at colorado.edu/recreation/club-sports/organizationalmeetings. The center also offers a free class called Intro To Fitness Equipment, in which students learn how to use the equipment in the gym. Aimee Heckel: twitter.com/ aimeemay
Wisdom from page 4
sincere wish that your memory, however it looks, is a nice one. I have a feeling it will be. But if you’re turned off by the prospect of good times and fond recollection, then maybe you’d be wise not to pay me when I show up at your door. Because I promise you, the times will be bad if I don’t get my money. Maybe you’ll wake up the day after disrespecting me and find your cat is dyed blue or that a silly hat was super-glued to your head while you slept. Perhaps you’ll open that box of two dozen donuts you just bought and find that four of them have been eaten. I might abduct your goldfish. What you need to understand is that I have sick thoughts in this head. Sick thoughts! Would I ever do anything to hurt you physically? No. But would I spook you a bit or slightly inconvenience you with a prank moderately sinister in nature as retaliation for your failure to pay up? Absolutely. So my advice to you, as you begin to navigate the choppy but wondrous waters of college, is to be open to new things and people, to challenge yourself mentally and to give me money when I ask you for it. Do that, and we won’t have any problems. Because, I mean, we don’t want a problem, do we? Do we? Good. I didn’t think so.
Alex Burness: twitter.com/ alex_burness
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Get Social
Submit photos of your friends: editor@coloradodaily.com and see them published in Get Social
Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily Daniel relaxes in the shade on Norlin Quad.
Colby and Mike play frisbee on Farrand Field.
Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily
Sarah Wachter/ Colorado Daily Erin and Jenna get to work in Norlin LIbrary. Tim, Chase and Patrick have a picnic on Norlin Quad. Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily
Abby and Quin share a hammock near University Hill.
Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily
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Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily Edward attends the Computer Science Expo at Folsom Field.
Jack attends the Computer Science Expo at Folsom Field.
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Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Roman Ceja rides a skateboard near Norlin Library. Matt works at Willard Hall for the summer. Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily
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Get Social
Submit photos of your friends: editor@coloradodaily.com and see them published in Get Social
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Skye Gabriel plays guitar in the pedestrian underpass between CU and The Hill.
Sarah Wachter / Colorado Daily Alex presents his final senior project during the Computer Science Expo at Folsom Field.
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Laura Gaylord works on a Spanish assignment outside Norlin Library. Nico and Jack attend the Computer Science Expo at Folsom Field.
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JOB MARKET
Simple tips for a bitchin’ resume You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and darn it, someone will hire you!
By Shay Castle Staff Writer nless you want to be a professional basement dweller for the rest of your life, (wait, is that an option?) at some point, you’re going to want a job. That, you know, pays money. And if the only qualifications on your resume are Champion Beer Ponger and Most One Night Stands Without Contracting an STD, your options are going to be limited. Follow these tips from Ben Wurzel, program manager for outreach and career counselor in CU’s Office of Career Services.
U
Don’t sell yourself short
Wurzel said one of the biggest mistakes students make when crafting a resume is leaving out work experience that they think isn’t relevant to the job. But any job you’ve had is releSeth A. McConnell / The Denver Post They say dress for the position you want, not the one you have. But you may just wanna go business casual for your first interviews. vant, he said, because it
See RESUME, page 28
Craft a killer cover letter
“Numbers make the bullet points pop out. It really draws that attention in and says, ‘This is a person who pays attention to detail.’”
Ben Wurzel program manager for outreach and career counselor in CU’s Office of Career Services
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Darren Drouge carried his resume in a Peanuts lunchbox during Tube to Work Day in Boulder. Your resume should be detailed and well written, but don’t go too flashy with the template.
Ah, the cover letter. One of the trickiest skills to master. We’re overthinking it, Wurzel says. All we need is a good metaphor. “A cover letter is a lot like speed dating.” In the first paragraph, you say “why them” — why you want to work there. Use the second paragraph to say “why you” — why they should want you to work there. And the final paragraph, Wurzel says, is when you say, “Let’s get together.” Ask for an interview or prompt a follow up, with a line in there about the mutual benefits of bringing you on board.
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 19, 2016 • 19
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WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 19, 2016 • 21
INTRAMURAL & CLUB SPORTS
A little friendly competition A bit of sporty fun for anyone — without that varsity-level pressure
By Amy Bounds Staff Writer
Fall intramural sports
T
here’s no better way to burn off stress than exercise. And what could be better than exercising with 15 or so of your closest friends? CU’s got you covered with intramural and club sports on campus. Don’t want to play? You can also live vicariously through the Buffs’ many talented varsity athletes or cheer them on with the student section, aka the C-Unit.
Intramurals
Intramural sports are the most casual way to play organized sports at CU. Teams in the intramurals program play other CU teams — it’s only CU students versus CU students. You can play all the classics, like three-on-three basketball, ice hockey, football and soccer through CU’s intramural sports programs. Fall registration generally
Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Kate Booth swims laps during club swim team practice at the CU Recreation Center.
takes place in late August, and winter sport registration usually happens during the third week of January. Spring sport registration takes place the first week of March. You can even play
22 • AUGUST 19, 2016 • WELCOME BACK
during the summer if you plan to stick around campus. New this fall, instead of each team charging a fee, a $16.50 sports pass gives you access to all the teams and tournaments. If you’re a player or two short, the intramural office has created a nifty CU
On the web Visit colorado.edu/ recreation/intramural -sports for registration dates, more information or to join a team.
Intramural Free Agent Facebook group (facebook.com/ groups/48881459083) to help fill out your roster. You
See SPORTS, page 30
Backyard Games Tournament Leagues: Equal opportunity Registration: Sept. 14-21 Dodgeball Leagues: Equal opportunity, co-rec Registration: Aug. 24-31 Doubles Tennis Leagues: Equal opportunity Registration: Aug. 24-31 Flag Football Leagues: Equal opportunity, co-rec Registration: Aug. 24-31 Ice Hockey Leagues: Equal opportunity Registration: Aug. 24-31 Outdoor 3v3 Basketball Tournament Leagues: Equal opportunity Registration: Aug. 24-31 Outdoor Soccer Leagues: Equal opportunity Registration: Aug. 24-31 Ultimate Frisbee Leagues: Equal opportunity, co-rec Registration: Aug. 24-31 More info: colorado.edu/recreation/ intramural-sports/calendar
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Greek from page 14 recruitment.
is more informal, starting with a meeting to gauge What to expect interest. Greek life for you probably Fraternity recruitment is a isn’t going to resemble the mix of formal and informal. life of Elle Woods in “Legally Interested men can visit difBlonde.” You can expect ferent chapters informally social events, philanthropies during a two-week recruitand volunteer events, friends ment period, but must regisand even studying (gasp). ter. Recruitment varies One popular Greek event between the three types of is Dance Marathon, an allGreek organizations. Panhel- day event hosted each year lenic recruitment is extreme- by the Panhellenic Executive ly formal and structured (to Council. In years past, this prevent any funny business). event has raised more than You can expect five days of $40,000 for specific charities constant talking with active and organizations. members (women who are If you’re looking for some already initiated into the leadership roles to put on sororities), skits, plenty of that resume, Greek life can snacks and maybe even a help you out. There are little bit of heartbreak. The numerous leadership posiJonathan Castner / Daily Camera process doesn’t guarantee tions within each chapter Memebers of the Zeta Beta Tau fraternity gather with other fraternities in the fountain area of the University that everyone will end up in and within CU Greek life as Memorial Building during fraternity bid day. a sorority or end up in the a whole. sorority of their choice. Follow Sarah Kuta: Recruitment for Multicultural Greek Council chapters twitter.com/sarahkuta For more information, please contact the University of Colorado - Boulder ROTC at 303-492-3549 or visit goarmy.com/rotc/buffalo.
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Nail your next interview You’ve got your foot in the door. Don’t make them slam it shut on you by looking sloppy and incompetent. There are three questions every interviewer is thinking when they talk to you: Do you have the skills (or the ability to learn) needed to do the job? Do you have the enthusiasm to do the job? and Do I like you? “Show you work well on teams, handle conflict well and in general have a disposition that’s easy to work with,” Wurzel recommends. Something students tend to undervalue is the group work they’ve done — mostly because tons of people hate working in groups, Wurzel says. But the ability to work well with others is crucial, and enthusiasm for teamwork can make you stand out. “Those are the experiences students can gain in college that, if they can really master the art of working with others, (are) going to serve them.”
Don’t turn your cover letter and resume into a mass marketing exercise. Get personal. Get revenge. (No, wait, skip that last part.) Lewis Geyer / Staff Photographer
Resume from page 19
proves you can hold a job. “Working as a waiter or at summer camp, that experience is actually very valuable to show (you) have work ethic and other transferrable skills,” he said. And if you’ve been in college for four years and lucky enough to have someone else paying all your bills? Write that down, too: College is hard work and definitely should be on your resume.
It’s a numbers game
Bullet points highlighting your experience and skills are great, Wurzel said, but they often lack substance. “Whenever possible, include numbers or statistics,” he said. For instance, a 4.0 GPA is great, but did you graduate in the top 1 percent of your class? Shout that out. Being a manager at Hollister is
cool, too, but it becomes much more impressive if you oversaw 15 other people. “Numbers make the bullet points pop out,” Worzel added. “It really draws that attention in and says, ‘This is a person who pays attention to detail.’”
No mass marketing
what you’ve got to offer with what they’re looking for.” He recommends having a master resume with all your creds on it, then creating a one-page resume that targets a specific job.
Don’t get fancy
Resume templates are all over Buzzfeed and Pinterest these days: Trendy colors and fonts, eye-catching graphics — they’re mega cute and oh-so-easy to plug your creds into (giggity). But use caution, Wurzel said. “Keep it simple and basic,” he said. “Stay away from anything that’s too flashy. “One important thing to keep in mind is your resume is your marketing material. The goal is not to get the job, it’s to get the interview.”
You know when you get a mass text from that one friend wishing you a Happy New Year? It’s OK, but it doesn’t give you the warm fuzzies of a personal message sent only to you. The same is true for resumes and cover letters. “Do not send out 100 of the same cover letters just changing names of company,” Wurzel cautions. “For jobs you really want, write a cover letter for each individual job. It shows you’ve done Shay Castle: twitter.com/ shayshinecastle your research and matched
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Colorado Daily file photo Rodney Hooks and David Lee spar during CU Taekwondo Club.
Sports from page 22 can even come up with a clever team name, like “Ball So Hard University” (basketball) and “Sweepin’ it Classy” (broomball) to shout from the huddle when you win.
Club sports Club sports requires slightly more commitment than intramurals. These teams employ part-time coaches and schedule practices that members are encouraged to attend. Club sports teams compete against other schools across the country, too. There are more than 30 club sports to choose from, including baseball, cycling, equestrian, fencing, lacrosse, swimming and more. CU is well known for competitive club programs — the triathlon club team has won more than a dozen national titles, and CU club swim team is not far behind with at least nine national titles. You get the idea. Buffs are athletic. For more information about club sports, visit colorado.edu/recreation/ club-sports.
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See SPORTS, page 32
Club sports Baseball Crew Cycling Dance Equestrian Fencing Field hockey Fly fishing Freeskiing Men’s and women’s hockey Kayak Men’s and women’s lacrosse Racquetball Roller hockey Men’s and women’s rugby Snowboarding Men’s and women’s soccer Women’s softball Swimming and diving Taekwondo Tennis Triathlon Men’s and women’s ultimate Men’s and women’s volleyball Men’s and women’s water polo Wrestling More info: colorado.edu/recreation/ club-sports
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Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Jimmy Mickle was part of the ultimate frisbee club at CU. After graduating, he was recognized as the best ultimate frisbee player in the nation. Dream big, Buffs.
Sports from page 30 Cheering section Your odds of playing for the Buffs are pretty slim, but you can help out by cheering them on. Though the football team didn’t have the best season last year (they won four of their 13 games), the games are a blast and a great way to get know your fellow Buffs. So are the basketball games, which make the Coors Events Center hoppin’. You can help by hanging out with the C-Unit, CU’s loud and vivacious student section, which shows up to most sporting events on campus. CU’s move to the Pac-12 Conference in 2011 and the past success of the men’s basketball team have given the student section new life in recent years. Former Buffs’ basketball star Spencer Dinwiddie (who now
plays for the Chicago Bulls) has even referenced the deafening roar and atmosphere created by the C-Unit when talking about factors that led to Buffs wins. Here’s how to join your fellow Buffs in the C-Unit: Step one: Obtain black and gold paint, apply liberally to body. Step two: Cover any other body parts with Buffs apparel. Step three: Locate other similarly dressed people in the crowd. Step four: Stand next to them, cheer loudly, jump up and down and hold up a photo of a giant, floating head of a player (or men’s basketball coach Tad Boyle) above your head. Now you’re Buffing awesome. Amy Bounds: twitter.com/ boundsa
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Kira Horvath / Staff Photographer That’s a nice bike you got there. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to it, now would you? Register that thing so you have a better chance of getting it back if it’s stolen or impounded.
App aims to help students, staff stay safe
Free panic button doesn’t mean you should change your middle name to ‘Danger’ By Amy Bounds Staff Writer
the timer for 30 minutes and, if you don’t disarm the app smartphone app is avail- after the 30 minutes, police will be notified. able to CU students to “It’s not specific to camhelp keep them safe on campus,” Pribble said. “It can be pus and around Boulder. CU police spokesman Scott used anywhere in the U.S.” He said it also should be Pribble said the LifeLine serless confusing this year to vice is free to students and staff members, who can log in access the app, which CU is both on and off campus. The providing free for a second year. Last year, he said, some app includes a panic button students accidentally downthat connects to the LifeLine loaded the paid app instead of dispatch center. “If something frightens you the free one. This year, he said, only one or you feel threatened, you version of the app will be can use the app to notify law available. The new version is enforcement with your location,” Pribble said. “It’s some- expected to launch this month. thing we recommend for While the app adds an extra everyone to have.” Students also can set a tim- layer of safety, common sense rules still apply, police said. er using the app. Say you’re See SAFE, page 36 going for a run. You can set
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Safe from page 34 Police suggest going out and staying with friends, watching out for each other and drinking responsibly. And instead of walking alone on cold winter nights, students can take advantage of resources like the Buff Bus and NightRide, which can be reached at 303-492-SAFE (7233). Pedestrian and bike safety is another big issue on campus, police say. Pribble encourages students to use lit paths and crosswalks — and not to assume cars will stop for you in those crosswalks. Cyclists should have a bike light if they’re out after dark, and walkers should have a flashlight. “It’s safer for you and everybody else if cars can see you coming,” he said. To reduce the odds of a stolen bike, police suggest keeping bikes inside whenever possible or locking them in well-lit and well-traveled areas when they are kept outside. Bikes also should be secured with U-locks, not the easierto-break cable locks or chains. “If you don’t ride your bike all the time, check on it at least daily,” Pribble said. “It’s easier to track if it’s stolen if you report it right away.” Owners also should register their bicycles with either
Boulder or University of Colorado police, which makes the bikes easier to flag if they are located or sold. CU students can register their bikes with the CU Bike Station outside the University Memorial Center or online at cubikestation.com. Along with bikes, the other valuable and easily stolen item that most CU students own is a laptop. Students studying in the library or another public place need to take their laptops with them on bathroom breaks, he cautioned. Laptops, phones and other electronic devices can be registered at CU’s Telecommunications Center, 1045 18th St.; Boulder Public Safety Building, 1805 33rd St.; Boulder PD Hill Community Police Center, 1310 College Ave.; and Pearl Street Community Police Center, 1500 Pearl St. Information such as serial numbers and a description of the laptop can help, along with the IP address — which can be tracked by CU if the laptop logs on to the school’s network. Overall, Pribble said, CU is a safe place — and students share responsibility for keeping it safe. “It is vital to the university that we have a safe campus,” he said. “We’re constantly working to find new and bet-
Can’t find your bike? • If a bike appears to be abandoned, was found locked to something other than a bike rack, or impedes disability access or any kind of traffic, Parking and Transportation Services may have impounded the bike. • Registered impounded bikes are held for 90 days, and nonregistered impounded bikes for 60 days. • If you believe your bicycle was stolen, call the campus police at 303-492-6666 or file an online report. • The easiest way to claim a lost, stolen or impounded bike is through registration records. Register your bike at either of the two bike stations. (One: located east of the UMC at the fine arts lawn, and Two: Folsom Station located at the southwest corner of the Engineering Center.)
ter ways to keep everybody safe. But we need the students’ help. We need them to be diligent, have their heads up and notice somebody approaching. We need them to make sure they’re acting safely when they’re walking out and about.” Amy Bounds: twitter.com/ boundsa
WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 19, 2016 • 37
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Nixon stars in ‘Words From a Nerd’
Sam Nixon will convert you to the nerd side every Wednesday in the Colorado Daily
By Deanna Hardies Colorado Daily Editor am Nixon is the man behind “Words From a Nerd,” which runs every Wednesday in the Colorado Daily. He’ll keep you appraised of the best and bizzare when it comes to movies, TV, video games, conventions and cultural phenomena. Set down that glass of chocolate milk before you read or you’ll spray brown dairy out your nasal passages. The inner folds of his grey matter are filled with snarky synapses. Behold:
S
What fictional drug are you most curious to try? In the movie “Dredd” from a few years back (the one with Karl Urban, not that Stallone/Schneider abomination), there is a drug called Slo-Mo that changes a user’s perception of time to 1 percent of normal speed. I’d like to pop one of those things then chug a few root beers as fast as I could, giving me just enough time to belch right as it kicked in. A stasis-like burp reverberating outward from my center for
See NIXON, page 41
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Nixon from page 38
what’s perceived to be hours has gotta be as close to nirvana as I can hope to attain. A time traveler from 100 years hence offers you your choice of the fruits of transhumanism: chlorophyll skin, webbed toes, carbon fiber bones, you name it. What genetic/surgical modification do you make to your body? I’d have to go with the obvious answer and lay claim to some particularly durable elbows. Never know when the ol’ arm joints will shit the bed, so some added longevity to the trusty headlockers will go a long way. Also ass-cheek racing stripes, but those are something I can probably pull off with a pocket mirror and some greasepaint. Don’t have to bring time travel into the equation. If you were 6 inches tall, what animal would be your mighty steed? The height might actually make this a bit of a pain in the ass, but when I was a kid I really wanted to have a pet graboid (you know, the giant subterranean worm monsters from that Kevin Bacon movie “Tremors”) to ride around on (Or in? Fuckers traveled underground, and logistics were not my strong suit as a child). I’d still like to make that work someday. If I rifled through your fridge, what’s the most scandalous item I am likely
to find? If you rifled through my fridge right now, all you’re going to find is a lot of foodborne illness and more chocolate milk than a grown man should admit to owning. And you’d probably end up very sticky at the end of it all. It’s best to just leave the fridge alone. What is your preferred method of disposing of the body? Well I did have this one secluded drainage ditch for dedicated corpse-dumping activities, but “Pokemon Go” really ruined that whole goddamn operation once it came out that you could catch Abras there. So now I’m back to using seagulls and a shitload of sunflower seeds in a poor man’s Tibetan sky-burial setup. What is the best flavor of Jell-O shot (besides snozzberry, of course)? Every Jell-O shot I’ve ever consumed had a thick film on the top with the consistency of boiled football leather. This probably isn’t a part of the standard method of preparing these shots, and I’m sure they could be better than the rubber little morsels I’m used to, but still, I’m not particularly fond of them. That said, I’ll eat most anything if it comes in fig flavor, chewy outer alcoholic ring be damned. Read more Nixon: colorado daily.com/columnists
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Deanna Hardies makes rare and erratic appearances, whenever her people need her
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sis at bay? Whenever I find the eanna Hardies is the abyss stareditor of the Colorado ing back at Daily and infrequent writer me, I just of the Space Potato column. Google aniHer hobbies include eating mated gifs of Hardies potatoes, reading about corgis. It’s space and drawing stupid impossible animal puns. to fret about the nature of Unlike other Colorado one’s existence while you Daily columns, Space Pota- watch one of those stubbyto has no weekly schedule. legged floofballs belly flop It appears in times of need off a pier. (read: when other columWhat fictional drug are nists are sick or on vacayou most curious to try? tion). I’ve thirsted for Romulan Ale since well before I was Philosophers hate her! What’s your one weird trick of legal drinking age. It’s to keep the existential cri- the Cuban cigar of the Star
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Trek universe, and it’s such a beautiful shade of blue. And because Romulans are basically Vulcans who can’t control their raging emotions, you gotta figure they have a pretty wild party side. Give me a haiku inspired by something that pisses you off. Peaceful mountain trail Miles from civilization Dudes blasting Kanye A time traveler from 100 years hence offers you your choice of the fruits of transhumanism: chlorophyll skin, webbed toes,
See HARDIES, page 44
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Hardies from page 42
carbon fiber bones, you name it. What genetic/surgical modification do you make to your body? I have no use for my uterus anyway, so let’s ditch all that baby-makin’ gear and replace it with a nanobot factor y that perfectly regulates my hormones. While we’re messing around in there, might as well convert some of that space to store and play my
music collection. If you were 6 inches tall, what animal would be your mighty steed? I know I should probably pick some bird of prey for this, but I can’t stop thinking how cool it would be to ride a basilisk, aka the Jesus lizard, as it speeds majestically across the surface of a pond. Plus, I would give it forehead armor with a decorative horn for maxi-
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mum awe-inspiring effect. What is your preferred method of disposing of the body? Compost that sucker. I know what you’re thinking: “You can’t put meat or bones in the bin!” Au contraire, mon frere. With enough heat and air, it’ll break down just fine, although I recommend increasing the surface area for best effect (chop chop!). Plant a fruit tree on top, and in a couple years, Mr. You’d-Look-Prettier-If-YouSmiled will be the secret ingredient in your blueribbon apple pie. Waste not, want not — that’s what I always say. What is the best flavor of Jell-O shot (besides snozzberry, of course)? Baked potato, with chives and a dollop of sour cream on top. Yum. What euphemism makes you grin like a demented middle schooler? Oh man, there are so many. Dropping the kids off at the pool. Calling up Ralph on the big white
I know I should probably pick some bird of prey for this, but I can’t stop thinking how cool it would be to ride a basilisk, aka the Jesus lizard, as it speeds majestically across the surface of a pond. Plus, I would give it forehead armor with a decorative horn for maximum awe-inspiring effect.
Deanna Hardies Colorado Daily Editor
phone. Bumping uglies. Making the beast with two backs. Aside from stress relief and lowering blood pressure with the power of purrs, what little-known medical benefit do cats provide? If they deign to knead on you with just the right amount of claw, cats can give a decent acupuncture session. But most helpful is their sleep-inducing ability. If I’m
having trouble falling asleep, just observing a curled-up feline can be enough to make my eyelids droopy. For a more powerful effect, get a hand under that fuzzy chin and let the purring vibrations traveling up your bones knock you out like a freight train full of Ambien. Read more Hardies: coloradodaily.com/ columnists. Stalk her: twitter.com/coloradodaily.
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