Amusing Tales from the Road

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on the record ❖

Readers Share Their Weird and Wacky Stories from the Road FOLLOWING ARE ANSWERS from Leisure Group Travel readers who responded to the questions: What’s the funniest or craziest incident that’s ever happened on one of your tours? What’s the most bizarre thing a tour member has said or done? WAYNE PARKER

A club director client called me from the parking lot of the Biltmore Winery, frantic because two of her charges had parked themselves in the tasting room and “tasted” so much they were staunchly – and loudly – refusing to leave. With the other 45 passengers on the coach patiently waiting to depart for their next destination in Pigeon Forge, Tenn. – some 90 minutes away – my client implored me for any ideas I might have that would successfully lure these two birds back to the coach. “Offer to leave them?” I suggested. “I actually think they would love that,” she shot back, clearly not amused. Still, she managed to convince them to leave, I know, because she called me exactly two hours later from the hotel parking lot asking for any ideas I might have to get them off the coach. Needless to say, this partying pair had no memory of being dragged to their rooms, tucked in (and locked in) while the group went on to dinner! Melinda Hughey The RH Factor/The Girlfriend Factor Pulaski, TN Melinda is working on War Stories, a book of wild but true tales from her years of escorting trips. Go to the Leisure Group Travel.com page (page 4) to find out more.

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BECKY I. WIEGAND

I took a Red Hat group to Greektown Casino in Detroit. They were dressed in all their Red glory. We have a few walkers in our group so they loved walking in the area. They let me know they were going to do their thing. I said fine, just be careful. Well, about an hour later they came back very upset. I asked what happened. Evidently, a nice-looking gentleman had stopped them and said they should really get off the street as there were a lot of police in the area. They could not figure out why he said that, but they scurried back quickly and found me. It took me a minute or so, but then I figured out what happened— he thought they were hookers working the street. Oh my, what a fun group. Marlene Kilner DreamFinder Travelers North Royalton, OH

A woman in my group called me the night she had arrived quite late in the evening and explained that her night gown wasn’t fitting right. I had to pause for a moment as I was half asleep and unsure what to say or do. I am all for exceeding our passengers’ expectations,

DAVID LYLE

but I was not going to go up to her room in the middle of the night to adjust a nightgown. Something told me she had the wrong bag and, well, jet lag does weird things to people, so I asked her to check the bag. Sure enough, it was the wrong bag—same color but wrong name. Yes, this woman had picked up the wrong bag at the airport, pulled out what she thought was her nightgown, and gone to bed. We had a good laugh about it and managed to get her bag, and nightgown, the following day. I have seen a lot and experienced a lot as a tour manager for the past 12 years, but this was by far the best. David Lyle, Tour Manager Collette Vacations Pawtucket, RI

Finally, my chance to share! I guess my favorite is this: So, I’m escorting a group to Branson. We flew in from BWI to St. Louis, where a motorcoach was waiting to take us to Branson. Morning 2, we met in the restaurant for breakfast when Bill, a wonderful senior citizen, proceeded to tell me he was mad. I questioned why, and he explained that the airline people stole his clothes, stole February 2010 15


on the record â?– them right out of his suitcase. I sympathized and tried to reason with him that I really didn’t think the airline would take his dungarees. The nice bus driver went above and beyond, suggesting he take Bill to Walmart to get what he needed for the next four days. He had a great trip and was totally surprised when he got home to find his clothes lying in neat piles on his bed! He took his suitcase but forgot TO PACK IT! Ellen Kilby Eyre Tour & Travel Glenelg, MDÂ

On one of my tours at the Grand Canyon I was doing a tour along the South Rim. One of my tour guests kept asking me questions about the actual length of the canyon, the width of the canyon and the depth of the canyon in miles. I noticed at each stop he pulled out a calculator and was laboriously working on some equation. Late in the afternoon we arrived at Mather Point and as he was standing at the overlook, he had a beaming smile on his face. I asked him what he had been doing with the calculator and why he was all smiles. He said, “I finally figured out how many bushels of corn I would have to dump into the canyon to fill it up!â€? I found out he was from Kansas City and he was a commodities broker. Everything he did he related to his commodities business – corn, wheat, etc. Wayne Parker Open Road Tours =;5 C E=C:2 :CD B67A >:/13 Phoenix, AZ

Went 4 a recove hike this a.m re gr8 lun d @ the spa .– ch – no – free co w ncert w off 2 a /the cre w. Wish u were h ere – A .

& #'&

' E E E A < =E ; / A A ; 3 3 B 7 < 5 A 1 = ; ASPEN + NEW LODGES + CONFERENCE CENTER + SKI IN/SKI OUT YEAR-ROUND AIRPORT + FESTIVALS & EVENTS = THE COMPLETE PACKAGE

16 February 2010

During the first year or so of our company, we, of course, were trying to do all of our trips to perfection. We “capturedâ€? a new customer for a day trip! But much to our dismay, nothing went right, according to her. The play was not good. She didn’t like any of her meal. She didn’t like where she was sitting on the bus. Were we going to have to reevaluate what we were offering? Upon our return home, she handed me a check for two more upcoming day trips! Consequently, we have continued with our original planning. Becky I. Wiegand TravelStarz South Bend, IN LeisureGroupTravel.com


Once I was on tour on a regular 54-passenger coach and instructed the group as to how we would disembark from the bus, indicating that it would be door side, driver side and occasionally from the rear. When I called for them to unload from the rear, no one was showing up. Imagine my surprise when I looked back and saw at least 15 people facing the rear of the bus. I guess they were thinking of going out the bathroom window. Charlene Troggio, Owner Breakaway Tours New Castle, PA IN THE APRIL ISSUE of Leisure Group Travel, our On the Record column will look at strategies for drumming up new business. Please send us your response to this question: What types of new tours are you trying for 2010? Along with your comments, please include your name, company name and location. Also for publication, send a high-resolution photo of yourself. A selection of responses will be printed in the April 2010 issue. Thanks in advance for your valuable opinions. Send to: Randy Mink, randy@ptmgroups.com

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February 2010 17


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