PN 76-25 by Prep News

Prep Volume 76, Issue 25

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St. Louis University High School | Thursday, March 29, 2012

Big changes coming to CASHBAH Physics experiment: mass “Night of Jazz and Jewels” expands to fit Commons

photo | Ben Banet

exam in the Commons BY Adam Thorp CORE STAFF

The Commons stage is dressed for Saturday’s Cashbah auction. BY Luke Reichold REPORTER

ig changes are planned for this year’s Cashbah, which will be held in the new Si Commons for the first time Saturday evening. The event sold out earlier than ever this year, and will set record attendance. There are 830 people registered to participate, the highestever Cashbah attendance. The

new Commons provides more space, enough for 83 tables. Even with the increase in space, the venue sold out three weeks in advance this year. The Mothers Club’s increased promotional efforts—including earlier registration opening and more letters and emails home—contributed to the sellout. The Cashbah layout has been entirely redesigned to accommo-

date the new space. According to Joe Patke of the Advancement Office, the silent auction items will be displayed in the band and chorus rooms, entrance lobby, and bookstore instead of in the Commons itself. The live auction items will occupy the main stage in the Commons, and the Danis Lobby will be transformed into a “Jazz continued on page 4

cience is built on experimentation, taking some broad theory and applying it in the real world to see how it fits with reality. In that spirit, four St. Louis U. High physics teachers tried a radically different approach to offering an exam. The biggest change in how this exam was offered was a huge uptick in scale. On March 16, the last day of exam week, over 300 SLUH physics students filled the Commons, a huge increase from normal exams, where about 20 students are put into one room. All physics students at SLUH participated. Six students sat at each of the large, round tables. Exams were laid out ahead of time so that they alternated and were arranged so that any two students from the same class at one table would be opposite each other. “We thought (the new arrangement) would discourage cheating—if there are only six people at a table, but only two of them had the same exam, and they are directly across from each other. And the tables are pretty wide so it would be pretty hard to cheat. It kind of takes away the temptation, and that’s our real thing, we’re not out to catch anyone; I thought it worked really well,” said physics teacher Eric

Students lend a hand in Appalachia over spring break BY Jack Kiehl REPORTER

photo | courtesy of Joe Klein

group of 32 students spent their Spring Break on Mission: Appalachia in Grundy and Barren Springs, Va., where they rebuilt homes and fences, fixed objects, and tutored at elementary schools. Both Grundy and Barren Springs are places with high poverty levels and low high school and college graduation rates. Depression, addiction, and other hardships are also prevalent in the Appalachian region. “It’s almost an endless cycle of poverty” said Community Service Coordinator Simonie Bieber, who helped organize the trips, although she was unable to go with the group to Virginia. Both communities were eager to welcome the SLUH groups continued on page 4

The Barren Springs group poses in front of Oakland Elementary School, where they volunteered during the week.

The weekly student newspaper of St. Louis University High School 4970 Oakland Ave. - St. Louis, MO 63110 (314) 531-0330 ext. 2241 online at sluh.org/prepnews prepnews@sluh.org ©2012 St. Louis University High School Prep News. No material may be reprinted without the permission of the editors and moderator.

News

Russian students arrive at SLUH Eight students from St. Petersburg adjust to a short life at SLUH, adding a spice of culture to the school. Page 2 Sports

Baseball swings for state SLUH looks to win its first State title in team history, building on last year’s success with an experienced club. Page 9

LaBoube. Beyond discouraging cheating, the new arrangement offered several other advantages. Only four proctors were needed for the exam, as opposed to the 11 that would have been needed to watch the classes in separate rooms. All of these proctors were the physics teachers themselves, so there was no need to give any special instruction. Some elements of the way exams were given in the past seemed problematic to physics teacher Kent Kershenski. “It was always so frustrating, the lack of efficiency in exams, how we have so many proctors, how we have to convey instructions to every proctor on how we want our exam run,” said Kershenski. Kershenski also thought that the cafeteria might provide a better exam environment than a crowded classroom. Ideas about how to improve the plan had been discussed in the science department for a long time. Kershenski had experience continued on page 5

Academic integrity plan was lifted from internet BY Adam Thorpe CORE STAFF

fter almost a year of work, St. Louis U. High’s Instructional Council is releasing a plan to cement academic integrity at the school, which it admits has been entirely plagiarized. The group of teachers and administrators took the ideas, text, and font choices in the ten-page document from several sources, none of which were cited or given credit. The rampant plundering of others’ work that characterized the whole process began on a late night in early March, before a preliminary report was due. “We were supposed to show our initial report to the faculty the next day, and the deadline had really snuck up on us. Then I thought to look online, and it was all there. It was so much easier to just copy and paste continued on page 6

Opinion

Sports

Perspective: Lessons from Appalachia Senior Joe Klein reflects on his time in Appalachia, and on the meaning of service and community. Page 3

Perfect so far, Ultimate looks to compete The perenially competitive Ultimate squad starts their season undefeated and faces tough competition this weekend. Page 10

Perspective: Webb in China Junior John Webb reflects on his experiences in China, and our differences and similarities. Page 3

Volleyball set for success The Jr. Bills won their opening match in close fashion as they restock from last year’s second place State finish. Page 11

NEWS

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

March 29, 2012

Eight Russian exchange students visit SLUH, enjoy St. Louis BY Sam Fentress REPORTER

photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto

t. Louis U. High’s student population temporarily grew this past week as eight foreign exchange students from Russia visited SLUH. Accompanied by two teachers, the group of seven girls and one boy from St. Petersburg School 209 arrived last Wednesday during SLUH’s spring break and left yesterday. The students were enthusiastic about their experience at SLUH. “The school is awesome. It’s brand new, very big, and all the students are very polite,” said exchange student Nastia Petrunina. “I really like it.” During their time in St. Louis, the students spent three hours a day taking classes at SLUH that included a U.S. History class, an American folk music class, and an English class. Former SLUH teacher Deacon Jim Murphy (history), counselor Ken McKenna (folk music), and Russian teacher Rob Chura (English) taught the

Visiting Russian students and teachers in SLUH’s Russian classroom. They spent a week at SLUH taking classes.

classes. The students also visited a number of the area’s attractions, including the Arch, Cahokia Mounds, the Science Center, and a Blues hockey game. The exchange students noted that SLUH is cleaner and brighter

“ W HAT I D I D O V E R S P R I N G B R E A K ” C R E D I T S

editor in chief Matt “Neglected my brother” Cooley news editor Joe “Kept my skillet good ‘n greasy all the time" Klein editor Nate “Didn’t read or watch The Hunger Games” Heagney sports editors Jack “Jimmy Buffett concert” Witthaus Ryan “College visit to Camp Half-Blood” Dowd core staff Nathan “Run. Like, a lot” Rubbelke John “Talked to street vendors” Webb Adam “Staged my own Hunger Games” Thorp staff Mitch “Won Adam’s Hunger Games” Mackowiak Jack “Ate 15 Bomb Pops” Godar Stephen “Planted a tree” Lumetta Brian “Ate a lot of food” Dugan Thomas “Drove go-karts” Riganti

than the school, and has a rich historical background. The Russian students stayed with host families from SLUH, who were pleased with the way the program went. “It gives us a good perspective on the lives of different kinds

Prep News

Volume 76, Issue 25

reporters Sam “Listened to Earth, Wind, and Fire” Fentress Jack “Applied sunscreen” Kiehl Cullin “Went on a tripp” Tripp Clark “Stole a car” DeWoskin Justin “Netflix” Jellinek Evan “Didn’t sleep” Becton Luke “Played” Reichold Nick “Disneyland” Eberle Jack “Pirated DVDs” Robinson Adam “Bonded with my brother” Cooley Joe “Spray tanned” Moran David “Disneyworld” Schmelter staff photographer Ben “Bought ice cream in March” Banet contributing photographers Ben “Photo Cube 2.0” Hilker Mr. Matt “Visited the Toledo Mud Hens” Scuito staff artist Greg “Appalachia’d it up” Fister moderator Mr. Steve “Mourned the passing of Februarch” Missey

of teenagers,” said senior host Joe Mungenast. “There are very many similarities, but there are definitely some differences.” Senior host Paul Bossung noted that his daily life changed somewhat, as he had to drive the students around during the

Spring Break and get used to having another person with him. Bossung noticed a few cultural differences, on the students’ visit to the Arch, which took place on the students’ first day there. In addition to getting used to the way people look and acted, the students seemed to enjoy the view from the Arch and its grounds. “They weren’t too comfortable with the fact that the Arch was shaking,” said Bossung of the group’s visit to the Arch on their first day. Bossung also noticed that the exchange students were hesitant to walk on grass in public places, something that is apparently looked down upon in Russian society. As part of the exchange program, SLUH will be sending a number of Russian language students to the school in St. Petersburg over the summer, where they will attend school and do activities similar to the ones the Russian students did here.

This Week in SLUH History Volume 68, Issue 25 | March 26, 2004

A council met to address the possible revision of SLUH’s block schedule. Every department, except theology and art, were almost entirely against the continuation of block scheduling, the same schedule that remains in place today. Spanish teacher Kevin Moore joked, “The best time for a block day is the second or third week of June.” The Science department complained that, though block days offered a great opportunity for labs, the two rarely coincided. The Foreign Language department argued that learning a language is better served by meeting every day, and the English department agreed that an every day schedule was best for all but the senior classes. —compiled by Clark DeWoskin

Community comes together to support Fields photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto

Maintenance worker Jeff Fields (left) with Tim Rittenhouse earlier this year.

The SLUH community came together to help raise money for maintenance worker Jeff Fields last week, after Fields’ house burned down in an electrical fire. In an effort spearheaded by faculty members such as Beth Kissel and Jan Cotter, money was raised for Fields, who lost everything in the fire. Teachers were asked to pitch in, and Student Council raised $455 from student donations. “I really appreciated how everyone came together with prayers and love tokens in my time of need. It meant a lot,” said Fields. —compiled by Nate Heagney

March 29, 2012

OPINION

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

Reflection

Letter

Thanks for sportsmanship at hockey game The mountains win again: To the editors: have watched from other schools. the ice and in the stands. It is a lessons from Appalachia I want to compliment the conduct and sportsmanship of your team during the hockey game against CBC. While the outcome was unfortunate, your players, coaches, and fans demonstrated a level of maturity that has not always been present at games I

I felt that your men played well enough to win and may have even been the better team, but as you know in sports, that unfortunately does not always equate to a win. I know that the loss was a hard one for the school, but you can be proud of the way they all conducted themselves both on

tribute to the character that you are building in these young men. That will serve them better than any victory. Congratulations on a successful season.

photo | courtesy of Joe Klein

Gale Wolff USN Retired

Perspective

Absorbing the culture of Nanjing, China BY John Webb CORE STAFF

hina no longer seems so far way. I recently spent two weeks in Nanjing, China at the Nanjing Foreign Language School (NFLS) during spring break and exam week. I stayed with Eric Lu, who stayed at my house last year for two months as one of SLUH’s semester-long Chinese exchange students. Throughout the exchange, I tried to observe as much as I could about the Chinese way of life. Living in China is different. Besides the language, a day in China is marked by a range of interesting idiosyncrasies, from trying to eat a chicken wing with chopsticks to realizing that few public restrooms have soap, from seeing people rinse their toothbrush with a garden hose to bracing yourself for the knee-jerk driving of bus drivers who frequently cut other cars off. Although I stuck out a lot of the time as the only foreigner around, every attempt I made to talk with locals was warmly received. I tried to smile at people a lot, even waving at some people near the apartment where I was staying, and everyone would always smile back. After a while, though, I began to tire of being the instigator of all these greetings. Just as I was about to give up on my second to last day, a man from the cigar shop near the apartment waved at me as he saw me walk past. I waved back. The usually cold Nanjing

winter bothered me at first. In order to cut down on pollution and save money, people in China don’t often use heaters during the day. By the end of my stay, I came to respect their viewpoint. I even became used to going to classes at NFLS in five layers of clothing. One thing thing that surprised me about China was just how modern Nanjing was. Most people I met had basically every modern convenience that Americans are familiar with. Kids in Nanjing texted just as much as people in St. Louis. I fell into the trap of believing that pictures I had seen of rural towns in language textbooks or photos of ancient buildings represented all of China. People in China have microwaves, cell phones, laptops, Nike shoes, and KFC. It’s also strange how a country that certainly feels so Westernized in some situations can have a restrictive government. People watch Hollywood movies or listen to American pop songs but can’t get on Facebook. They can eat at McDonalds and use Crest toothpaste but not vote in national elections. It made me appreciate how nice it is to live in a country with free press and open debate. More importantly, it made me realize that being an American is more than just consuming name brand items. NFLS is by many accounts the best school in Nanjing. In the classes, though, more than 50 students are sometimes packed into a room. As a public school with a

large demand to get in, students applying to the high school from the junior high have to first enter a lottery which narrows down the applicant pool by half. Of the remaining half, the students who score the best on an entrance examination are admitted. The competition to get into good schools is staggeringly more competitive than in the U.S. One of the more interesting experiences I had in China was biking to school. NFLS was about a mile and a half from the house, so it took about 15 minutes to bike there. I was nervous. All I could think about was how my grandmother had recounted a story from the newspaper about a fallen bike passenger who was trampled to death by other bicycles. It didn’t help that my uncle is still recovering from a bike accident in which he sustained a brain injury last November. You’re constantly weaving around parked cars and pedestrians, and hoping that cars or motorcycles passing you from behind don’t run into you. In heavy traffic I would even scoot along, using the bike as more of a scooter. If we would cross a major street, I would take off alongside Eric to avoid crashing into other bikers who were trying to make a right turn onto the road. I couldn’t look around at all, as I almost crashed into things the few times I allowed my mind to relax. After five days, I still couldn’t remember the way to school as I had to keep my eyes continued on page 5 photo | courtesy of John Webb

Webb (second from left) with his host family in Nanjing just before he rushed to catch the bullet train.

Senior Erich Wassilak and Sam Crawford, from the organization Neighbor to Neighbor, digging a grave. Some of the students in Barren Springs helped Crawford dig a grave for his cousin on the last day of Mission: Appalachia. BY Joe Klein NEWS EDITOR

’ve been back from Mission Appalachia for almost a week, and yet I’m still pronouncing it ‘appuh-latch-uh’. In a way, that new pronunciation is how I’m holding onto my experience in Barren Springs. As much as I may have wanted to, I couldn’t stay in Appalachia. The least I can do is bring some of it back with me. Based on what I knew before we left, I had formed a certain conception of how the trip would turn out. I pictured us traveling to an incredibly poor area, sleeping on the cold, concrete floor of a church basement, and showering just once or twice in the week. I figured we’d be looked down on, seen as rich city kids that didn’t belong in Barren Springs. That didn’t happen. We weren’t staying in a shanty building in a depressed town, but instead we were lodged in a building on the property of an out-of season RV park/vacation area. I can’t speak for Grundy (the other SLUH site), but we had a television and a kitchen, and could shower every day, a relative luxury. The house even had Wi-Fi. Yes, we had Wi-Fi on Mission: Appalachia. On principle, that didn't seem right at all. I had gotten so invested in this vision of dropping everything to work with the poor that I wasn't able to imagine it any other way. I felt like I was betraying the people that I would be working with. They're poor, and in need of help, and here we are, helping them for a few hours every day, only to go back into the world of the Internet and the NCAA tournament. The day before we left, a few of us spent the day working with Sam. His cousin had passed away earlier in the week, and Sam needed help digging his grave before we left. I agreed to help without realizing the significance of his request. In the area where we stayed, it's a major family tradition that, when a family member dies, the men would go out to the family farm and some would dig the grave while others would sit around and talk about the deceased’s life. It's a special honor to help dig the grave of a loved one,

Sam said. Near the beginning, I felt fairly uncomfortable. I was digging the grave of someone I didn't know, and we clearly weren't working as effectively or digging as strongly as everyone else there. I almost felt like I was intruding, like I was violating this longstanding local tradition. But at the end, as we began packing into the van, ready to head to Joy Ranch—the children’s home that we worked at through the week—for our goodbye barbecue that they were throwing us, I realized something. Sam could've easily asked any of his other friends to help out. But he asked us. By asking us to share in this personal, sacred family tradition, it showed that he considered us more than just a part of their community; even though we had only known each other for less than a week, it seemed like Sam already considered us part of a larger family. Sam was far from the only one that showed us welcoming hospitality. Most nights, we went to a different church, where we'd either work a little or attend one of their services, followed by a meal. The dinners were cooked by church groups that, to us, were complete strangers. Yet despite that, they happily welcomed us to their community, shared their meals and worship services with us. It reminded me of all the times where I had dreaded going to a family gathering because there was a family member there I didn't get along with. And here these people were, not knowing us at all and still being overjoyed and incredibly thankful to dine with us. Through them, I was able to see the beauty of Appalachia— not only through the beautiful mountain views and foggy mornings, but the beauty of the community and the people. My previous experiences with service have been highly personal, rewarding ones. I've worked at Shalom House, and felt really satisfied and worthwhile cooking for the residents there. And nothing can compare to the onslaught of hugs I got from the kindergarteners I was with during Senior Project. Those times, I always left feeling satisfied and continued on page 4

NEWS

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

March 29, 2012 photo | courtesy of Ms. Joan Bugnitz

Cashbah expands to fit new Commons (continued from page 1) Lounge.” Maps have been designed for the event to help people navigate the new layout. Also brand new to Cashbah is an electronic bidding system. Each couple will receive a cellphone-like device which they can use to place bids on silent auction items from anywhere in the building.  “The great thing about these is that they allow you to bid on items without being tied to a physical location, and prevents situations where people might say, ‘Oh, that sold for only $100? I would’ve paid that!’” explained Patke. Key auction items include trips to Broadway Productions with backstage access, Napa Valley travel packages with wine tast-

ings, life-sized Star Wars figures, Opening Day Cardinals box tickets, and, of course, cute puppies. This year, corporate sponsors are playing a bigger role in the event. While in previous years corporate sponsors had donated up to $3000, this year the highest “Black Diamond Sponsor” tier comes at a price of $25,000 and includes new perks, such as prominent advertising in the Cashbah catalog and VIP parking privileges on the Oakland lot. The advancement office sought out new companies to sponsor the event. Despite the corporate presence at the auction, “Cashbah is an extraordinary value for everyone else. You still get a luxury event at the standard (attendance) price,” added Patke. photo | Ben Banet

The Mothers’ Club prepares the Commons for CASHBAH. The new layout for the auction allows space for 83 tables, all of which have been filled.

All of the money raised goes entirely towards need-based academic scholarships for SLUH students. “We also have a few surprises planned around that for the evening,” added Mothers Club Cashbah rep Diane Fogarty. Although the fundraising goal for this year’s event is secret, SLUH is hoping for an increase in raised funds compared to past years because of the new space, higher attendance, and presence of the new sponsorship tiers. According to Kesterson, setup in the Commons began as early as Wednesday, with trucks arriving full of equipment and supplies, which began unloading to the new space immediately after Wednesday’s lunch. The Commons has been closed since after lunch on Wednesday and will continue to be unavailable to students all day today.  “I expect the library to be a lot more full, or guys going outside instead during Activity Period or free periods. As far as lunch on Thursday, the servery area in the Commons will be open to buy food, and students can take the hallway up to the old cafeteria, which will be opened for lunch,” said Kesterson. “Just for Thursday we’ll essentially go back and do things the old way. Part of having this new space means being able to adapt to different things going on.”

Reflection: the mountains win again (continued from page 3) fulfilled. So naturally, I went in hoping to continue that feeling during Mission: Appalachia. At Barren Springs, we were split up throughout the week and directed to various smaller projects. Some of us were left with fun demolition or construction, and others volunteered at the local elementary school—something I was able to do for a day and absolutely loved. But every so often, a few of us ended up doing less glorified, impersonal work. We spent a great deal of time working at Joy Ranch. I initially was very excited, as I thought I would be able work with kids, but then I found out that I would spend the day buffing and waxing the gym floor, which was in need of repair. As bad as I felt about it, I couldn't help but complain. Here was this fantastic opportunity I had to immerse myself in a community, establish personal relationships with the people, and get a real sense of fulfillment and selfworth—and instead I was busy doing the same work that I did for work grant. A few of us were taking a break and discussing the day's work , and I may have let myself complain a bit too much. That's when another one of us—my friend Joe Milliano—said something that stuck with me and greatly changed my outlook toward the trip: “Not all service is glorious.” He was right. I shouldn't have been complaining. Just the day before, I had been privileged

enough to do real, personal work. We built a fence around and helped clean up the Draper Black Cemetery—a historic cemetery that had fallen into disrepair— and then did some handywork at the nearby Methodist Church. I really felt like I was making a difference. Through the coat of paint we put on the church's porch, I could point to visible, tangible results that came out of our day's work. And most of all, we were able to interact with the community. Most of our work while building the fence consisted of hammering staples into fence posts, and a few of us had trouble getting them to go in at the proper angle. To Sonny and Junior—the handymen helping us with the fence—we could have seemed like clumsy city kids. To an extent, they were right. But still, they were more than happy to take a minute (or, in my case, several minutes) to help us. When we went to dinner later that evening at the Methodist church, our supervisor Sam had us all, instead of sitting with each other, grab a local resident, accompany them up in line, and eat with them while interacting with them. Throughout that meal, people constantly came up to us

and thanked us repeatedly for our work. Although the cemetery repair and the dinner was definitely more enjoyable and meaningful than buffing floors, and opened me up to the true beauty of the area and the community, I was still able to recognize the value and meaning in the grunt work. For ideally, the goal of service shouldn't be just to feel good afterwards. It's nice to “get something out of it,” but that should be far from a requirement. The reason why we go on Senior Project, go to Appalachia, spend a month of our life in Honduras, or simply talk with an elderly person at McCormack House after school, is because there's somebody else that needs our help, and it's our duty to help them. I'm so used to my means of helping them being something that produces tangible results, where I can feel fulfilled and worthwhile afterwards, that I completely forgot that sometimes, service can be work. Not all work that needs to be done can be sugarcoated and glorified, and treated like a mutually beneficial experience. Sometimes, the floors just need to be waxed.

From left: senior John Bromell, senior Brendan McEnery, freshman Mike Warfield, and science teacher Megan Menne clear debris at their work site.

Mission: Applalachia serves people of rural Virginia (continued from page 1) with open arms. “The people there don’t know you at all, and they’re so eager to welcome you into the community,” said junior Harry Parker, who went to Barren Springs. Those who went to Grundy appreciated the beauty of the community. They were surrounded by the scenic Appalachian Mountains, which created a picturesque scene around the town. Contrary to the common perception of the area, the streets in the town weren’t entirely rundown and dilapidated. The group observed that there was a fair mix of nice, well-kept houses and rundown ones. “It’s different than St. Louis. In St. Louis, the wealthy live by the wealthy, the middle class live by the middle class, and the poor live by the poor,” said psychology teacher Tom Kickham, who directed the Grundy trip. “(In Grundy), people are more aware of the poor and are friends with the poor.” Both groups began their day early in the morning. Before heading to their work sites, they prepared lunch for the day as they often ate at their work site. Those at Grundy had to bring a change of clothes with them, as the church they stayed at didn’t have showers. In Barren Springs, the group split up into smaller sections throughout the week and worked on various projects. They tore down a house and built a deck, built a fence around a cemetery, tutored at a local elementary school, and performed maintenance work at Joy Ranch, a housing facility for disadvantaged children. In the evening, the groups took place in various activities in the community. The Barren Springs group ate dinner provided by various church groups, and

attended a Church of God service one night. They also went to hear a bluegrass group perform one night. “One night we went square dancing. One night we went to hear some miners play bluegrass music, and another night we took a tour of a national park,” said Kickham. Both groups incorporated time each day for reflection. Each group had a student reflection leader, who led them in a discussion and reflection before bed. In Barren Springs, the 17 students and six chaperones stayed in an off-season RV park. They had access to showers and a kitchen area, which made the week slightly easier for them, though they still had to sleep on the floor. “We weren’t exactly roughing it, but it wasn’t the Ritz Carlton,” said Campus Minister Meg Beugg, who led the Barren Springs group. While the floors may have been fairly uncomfortable, Beugg still had to resort to different methods to prepare the students for another day of work. “I woke the students up with Justin Bieber’s song ‘Baby,’” said Beugg. Some of the most memorable experiences from the trip came from encountering the local residents in Grundy and Barren Springs. Not only did the students and chaperones get a chance to meet new people, but they also knew each other better. “We learned a lot about life and each other through a lot of the talks we had,” said senior Matt Schoelch, who was the reflection leader for the Grundy group. This is the second year that the Spring Break mission trip has traveled to Appalachia. In the past, SLUH went to Reynosa, Mexico, to build houses, but changed locations because of increased drug violence in the region.

Any customer can have a car painted any colour that he wants so long as it is black.

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Henry Ford

NEWS

March 29, 2012

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

Volume LXXVI Platform As the student-run newspaper of St. Louis University High School, the Prep News is a weekly publication that strives to inform the SLUH community about events and people, with its focus on those pertaining to the school, primarily through the written word. The Prep News is neither the voice of the administration nor the students. Rather, the newspaper serves to gather and distribute information for the entire school. The Prep News editors and staff members make every effort to be objective in their news coverage and editing. The members of the editorial staff are co-workers and share equally the duties of writing, copy-editing, layout, and staff management. All of the editors share responsibility and leadership of the paper. The editors are supported by a core staff of regu-

lar reporters as well as artists and photographers. It is the role of the editors to seek out and facilitate the reporting of all significant news at SLUH. While any faculty member or student is welcome to submit suggestions to the editors for potential articles, the Prep News is never obligated to publish any article idea. Our primary emphasis as editors of the Prep News is upon clear and accurate writing and careful editing. We also attempt to include visual expression— photography, drawing, technical aids, etc.—in every issue and on our web site. Despite our desire to make the paper visually appealing, we commit ourselves not to allow form to supersede substance. The Prep News strongly encourages underclassman involvement, and our office on the

photo | Ben Hilker

second floor of the Jesuit Wing, room J220, is always open for involvement, criticism, praise, or suggestions. Contributed student opinions are also welcome under the Prep News Editiorial Policy. Without student reaction and feedback, the Prep News could not function. If the Prep News is inaccurate, we will correct any significant error in the following issue and on our web site. Furthermore, the editors assume sole responsibility for the text of news and sports articles, features, and editorials. We ask faculty or students who take issue with the manner in which the news was reported or find an error to bring it to the attention of the editors, not the individual reporters. This is the platform of the editors of Volume LXXVI of the Prep News.

Volume LXXVI Editorial Policy The Volume 76 Prep News opinion section serves the purpose of being the vehicle of the personal opinions of students, faculty, or others. All topics discussed in the section will be related to St. Louis University High School. Nothing published either as an editorial or as a letter to an editor should be considered the opinion of the school, the administration, or anyone other than its author or authors. A Prep News editorial is the opinion of all four editors on a particular topic. Editorials are a statement of the paper, not of an individual, and therefore are unsigned. A commentary or column is an opinion of one member of the Prep News staff, not of the Prep News itself. A perspective, like a com-

mentary, is the opinion of one person, often a Prep News staff member. Unlike a commentary, such a piece is often intended primarily to convey a personal experience rather than to provide a viewpoint on an issue. Unlike a letter, such pieces are usually developed at the request of, and sometimes under the guidance of, the Prep News editors. The opinions expressed in a perspective remain those of the individual and not of the paper. Every member of the SLUH community is welcomed and encouraged to submit a letter to the editors. Every letter received by the editors will be read and given consideration. All letters must be signed, but the author’s name may be withheld from publication by request and at the discretion of the editors. The Prep News editors re-

serve the right to edit any submissions for publication in order to meet grammatical standards, but they will not skew the author’s original intent. Also, the editors reserve the right to withhold from publication any submission if it is deemed vulgar, tasteless, or otherwise inappropriate. Authors should be available for the editors to contact them before publication to address matters of concern. All authors wishing to have letters published must submit them by 4:00 p.m. the Wednesday before the letter is to be published. Letters should be e-mailed to prepnews@sluh.org, and if possible a signed copy should be given to a Prep News editor or moderator or mailed to the Prep News courtesy of St. Louis University High School, 4970 Oakland, St. Louis, MO 63110.

Physics exams held together in Commons (continued from page 1) with the large room exam model from his time in high school. The new exam space did present a few problems. Physics was in the first exam period of the day. In order to lay out the exams beforehand, the teachers realized the Commons had to be shut down ten to fifteen minutes early. This might make it difficult to put an exam in that space during the second exam period, since the

time to set out the exams would cut into the break time that students can be in the space. The size of the room also presented unexpected problems. “There are some things we didn’t anticipate, like taking roll. You can’t call roll, and you can’t really count, but otherwise we had pretty much everything planned out,” said LaBoube. After proctoring the exam, LaBoube was eager to use the

method for future exams and pointed out there were many other large areas in the school that could be used for similar exams. The physics teacher plan to meet to go over the advantages and problems with the new method. “The basic thing was just to streamline the process a little bit, and to take advantage of our new facilities” said Kershenski.

find a place to talk to other people from the family. When you sit behind a desk studying for a language vocabulary quiz, it’s easy feel that what you’re doing is useless. Before I went to China, I think I was still clinging on to some farfetched idea that people didn’t actually use Chinese to communicate. After talking with real people and discovering real stories—joking around with a street vendor about why I didn’t want to buy his useless products or chatting with a senior about strange people on the street—it made the whole process of learning Chinese in a classroom seem worth it.

Blood Drive by the numbers 67 7 66 60 0 3

pints of usable blood double red blood cells attempted donations successful donations donatees fainted movies shown (The Blind Side, Alice in Wonderland,

and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) —compiled by David Schmelter The Father-Son Day of Recollection will be held Sunday, April 15 from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. The program will include: - Continental breakfast in the Currigan room - Group reflection, father-son discussions, and small group sessions led by Msgr. Jim Telthorst - Mass in the SLUH chapel and lunch Email cleinauer@sluh.org before April 9 to sign up.

Perspective: absorbing the culture of Nanjing (continued from page 3) on the road, so I elected to take the public bus route to school the next week, a route much easier to navigate. Eric’s house was pretty small. Shaped like a rectangle with two bedrooms at both ends and the kitchen and bathroom in the middle, it was a house in which space had to be utilized. For instance, there wasn’t a bathtub. Instead, you shut the glass door to the entire bathroom and that acted as your bathtub. The kitchen table was small and the refrigerator holds enough for only a day or two of food. The apartment lacked a living room so it was hard to

Senior Sam Body gives blood at yesterday’s blood drive.

During my stay, I tried to meet as many people as possible, talk to anyone who walked my way and observe the movements and facial expressions of passerbys as I tried to piece together a vision of China. The vision I created differed from what I was used to so in some cases I had to adapt to the foreign surroundings. But the China I discovered was one that I could live in, one I could laugh in, one I could cry in—it was one that I could live in.

Letter

My Dear Mr. Herbig,

I send these lines by you in perfect health and I pray they find you in accord. In order to comply with my nature, I must be forthright. I send you this letter to solicit your company as an escort to prom. I find in me the desire to compose a string of poetic verses that properly conveys my abounding affection for you. As I sit down to write, however, I find myself at a complete loss for the vocabulary required to loftily assemble the structures of flowery language. To remedy this, I sought inspiration externally, and in due course, brought light to the situation using my elegance of penmanship in metrical composition. Unfortunately, I did not accomplish my goal with enough haste to ensure the deliverance of said work alongside this letter, but rest assured, it will come. At this I must conclude with a simple question: Accept my hand to prom, Mr. Herbig? All Praise to the Father. Lovingly yours, Ms. Mary Fedora

News & Stuffs If nothing else, wait until April 1. Sunday, April 1, 2012

Volume 2 liters, Issue e7.505492275

sluh.org/prepnews/newsandstuffs

Academic jr. Billiken replaced with rabid seahorse integrity plan General Mills connotations are, but they’re defi- history. It came from Japan or joy wider eye slits so he wouldn’t is entirely nitely different.” something like that. They should stumble around quite as much. he Junior Billiken will no The change was in part to make a Billiken anime. I would of the commitplaigarized Tlonger be the mascot of St. help make SLUH’s mascot more watch that,” said junior Fred tee alsoMembers mentioned that the new BY WOODEN FLUTE CARVER

(continued from reputable section of the paper) than to write it all out,” said Principal John Moran. “There was a great introduction from this one high school in Colorado, and I found a lot of the body text from another one in Massachusetts.” After some time, the process became even more efficient. “For the final report I was going in from line to line, trying to replace all the school names with SLUH. Then Mr. Kesterson came by and showed me how to do a global replace, you know, with command-F on the keyboard. That made it go much faster,” said Moran. “Overall, we are very happy with our work on this project. We replaced all of the school names, and we even found a document from another Catholic high school so we’ve got some religious stuff in there too. Obviously, the people we took the text from really knew what they were doing,” said Moran. “And we made it real convincing so I don’t think anybody will find out.” Dr. John McAnderson, an expert on academic integrity, has seen similar situations in the past. “It’s more common than you think. Administrators and teachers working on these projects spend months thinking and hearing about how people cheat,” said McAnderson. “When you factor in the stress and deadlines these people face, it’s just natural that they apply their new knowledge and take other people’s work in order to write their own plans.” “Most people in this situation blame their heavy workloads, and the unrealistic expectations forced upon them by their students. Really, it’s hard not to be sympathetic. They try so hard.”

Louis University High school. Replacing the Jr. Bill as the school’s mascot will be the Rabid Junior Seahorse. “We wanted to choose a mascot that better represents St. Louis U. High,” said an administrator from an office with no windows of the decision. “We decided to move away from the ‘baby-face, large feet’ image to more of an ‘accepting, perhapsmythical, slightly crazy, sea monster’ image. In other words, we wanted a mascot that sounds like a Backyard Baseball team.” He added, “What’s more intimidating than a seahorse?” The administration came to the conclusion Wednesday after fierce negations on whether the new mascot should be named the “junior rabid seahorses” or the “rabid junior seahorses.” “They carry very different connotations,” said a man who probably eavesdropped on the meeting. “I don’t know what those

relatable and reduce confusion. In the past confusion on what a Jr. Billiken had steered many prospective students away from SLUH’s doors. “I told my Canadian grandmother that I was a Jr. Billiken and she had no idea what I was talking about,” said Jim-Jim, a sophomore pretending to do his geometry homework. He later added that his grandmother only spoke French. “I hate wearing anything with the Jr. Billiken logo because I it always takes me like five minutes to explain what it is,” said a high school girl who frequently wears her brother’s sweatshirts. Some students opposed the move. “Yah, I think it was a great move,” said middle-schooler Howard Frome. “Oh … wait … what did you say it was? … A rabid junior seahorse? … No, that’s a horrible idea.” “The Jr. Billiken has a long

Physics teacher Kent Kershenski was saddedn by the news of St. Ignatius’s migration(next page, bottom right), as he had hoped to fill Ignatius’s position with the life-size statue of famous Gungan Jar-Jar Binks that is currently in the Commons.

Frederickson. Hopefully the new mascot will lead to some new cheers for sporting events. STUCO has reportedly been anticipating a mascot change for years, preparing for a variety of contingency mascots. “We prepared for everything,” said a STU co. member. “Ligers, giraffes, goblins. We thought of everything. What else do you think we do all day?” Another reason behind the change was the confusion on whether SLUH’s old mascot was spelled “Billikin” or “Billiken”. Unlike most middle schools in the area, SLUH’s doesn’t require a spelling credit in order to graduate, only further fueling the confusion. The senior who regularly dresses up in the Jr. Billiken mascot suit said that he looks forward to the move, as the mascot change will allow him to dress up in a new, paint-stain free mascot suit. He also mentioned he would en-

move would steer SLUH free of a gender-neutral mascot. “I’ve always wondered whether the Billiken was male or female,” said John Johnson, a student who frequently uses the elevator without permission. “I’m glad the committee came up with a less ambiguous, more masculine choice in the rabid junior seahorse.” As the new mascot name is longer than the abbreviated “Jr. Bills,” “Rabid Junior seahorses” will be abbreviated to “Jr. Horses” to easily fit on most signs around the school. Whether this will cause any confusion is yet to be seen. No word yet on whether St. Louis University will go along with the mascot change, though conversations with their chief Jesuit indicate that if they do change, it would be to a black and white mascot, as this would save money on billboard printing.

A MESSAGE FROM THE SLUH SUSTAINABILITY COMMITTEE The following items can now be recycled in the new recycling bins in the Si Commons: - iPhones 1, 2 and 3 - Zimbra “wellness newsletters” - Mr. Cummings’ beard hair - ASC teachers’ laptops - Black socks - Fisters, Godars, Robinsons - Fingerless gloves - Freshmen - Stephen Lumetta’s Metro Pass - Gadfly coups d’état - Jar-Jar Binks statues (on second thought, just incinerate) - Attempts to create an Eating Club - Dr. Moran “Grad at Grad” speech references

DEBATE IS FINALLY RESOLVED: A&P IS DEFINETLY COMIC BY The Staff of Hallways EMPOWERED REPORTERS

fter years of heated debate in sophomore English classes, John Updike’s popular short story A&P has been deemed comic. For years, sophomores have gone back and forth on their stances about whether or not the story is comic or ironic. No popular consensus has yet been reached, largely because of the story’s ambiguous ending. Some take the main character Sammy’s recognition of “how hard the world was going to be to me hereafter” as a downtrodden sign that he has lost hope. “To me, I just felt like he’d

always be depressed that he won’t see those twin scoops of vanilla ice cream again. That’s pretty disappointing,” said someone. Others, however, argue that he is ready to take on and defeat life’s coming challenges. “Come on, he walks into the sunshine. Does it get any more optimistic than that?” said another kid. Plagued by this question himself since he was a sophomore in English teacher Bill George’s class, current history teacher Tom Zinselmeyer (who many freshmen still mistake for a sophomore in the hallway) recently decided to tackle it once and for all.

“It’s always bugged me that people try to claim Sammy faces an ironic situation. That would imply pain, and what Sammy has is merely discomfort, not pain. Pain is pain is pain. We shouldn’t act like the irony of Sammy’s situation matters in a world constantly facing genocide in one form or another,” said Zinselmeyer. Zinselmeyer recognizes that it is a huge leap to bring genocide into the conversation, but he feels it is necessary in order to determine if A&P is comic or ironic. “What Sammy feels isn’t pain,” said Zinselmeyer. “Genocide victims; groups, clans, nations in Africa, whatever you

want to call them as long as you don’t call them tribes; immigrants treated unfairly—they feel pain. Pain is pain is pain. “I think we must be politically correct with what we call Sammy’s situation,” added Zinselmeyer. “He’s in good shape. We should look at it optimistically, like Sammy clearly does, and call it what it is. It’s comic. End of story.” As Zinselmeyer’s efforts come to fruition, the school will mandate that A&P be taught as a comic story beginning next school year. “We’re going to be optimistic,” said principal John Moran

when asked what influenced the mandate. “Let’s not focus on the bad.” English teacher Rich Moran, though, is distraught by the decision. “This makes less sense than when I fell off my bike last year,” said Moran. “What will I have my students do next year if we can’t argue what Updike’s story suggests? There’s no hope in this desperately ironic situation. I swear Tony LaRussa is behind this conundrum somehow…” Shortly after making this comment, Moran was summoned to a meeting for failing to acknowledge the absolute comedy of A&P.

News & Stuffs

April 1, 2012

Princiball

Lured by office with a view, Moran hired in Pittsburgh

BY Tom Flanagan WHO WANTS TO BE A PIRATE?

n a surprise move, principal John Moran will be leaving St. Louis U. High immediately after being hired as the general manag-

er of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Moran’s hiring hails a new generation of GMs that people are calling Princiball. Moran agreed to a three-year contract that will pay roughly 11,000 dollars a year, making him the lowest paid GM in the world. However, he will get to go to all Pirates games in a suite. “The suite was the clincher, because I’d read somewhere that Pittsburgh has pretty good stadium food. I certainly won’t be watching most of the games, since Pittsburgh hasn’t been good since the freshmen here were two years old,” Moran said. When he arrives in Pittsburgh, Moran intends to make some drastic changes.

Jesuits start water battle to save souls BY Santa Claus EXISTENCE DISPUTED

esuits are often known as Soldiers for Christ, and they are sometimes called “God’s Marines”. This week, the Jesuit community at St. Louis U. High has taken that image to the next level, patrolling the school toting water guns filled with holy water and dousing students in an effort to save their souls from the corrupt morals of modern times. The Jesuits began planning this campaign over Spring Break, when they were watching the NCAA tournament on CBS. During halftime of one game, Fr. Ralph Houlihan accidentally sat on the remote, and the channel changed to a teen drama. Though it is not certain, television experts believe that the Jesuits may have stumbled across the CW network. Fr. Marco became engrossed by the show, the name of which none of the Jesuits could remember, and stole the remote from Houlihan before he could change it back. After watching three hours of similar teen dramas, their view of modern society changed drastically. “We realized that modern society is becoming less and less moralistic, and that influences everyone, even SLUH students,” Fr. Heumann said, while squirting an already wet freshman. “We thought that shooting them with holy water would help combat these influences.” Heumann also noted that even if it doesn’t work, there is no harm to the students, and shooting water guns is really fun. “We have a lot of these water guns for when Fr. Marco is cooking, and in case there’s ever a riot in this area,” Heumann said. “This is a nice opportunity to get our money’s worth.” Principal John Moran is not sure what to make of the Jesuits’ actions this week, though he also said that he planned to have some faculty member ask the Jesuits to cease fire next week. “It’s certainly something I have never seen before,” Moran said, “On one hand, I’ve slipped in the halls a bunch this week, but on the other, if it is saving our students, then it is worth a

few bruises and YouTube videos named ‘Teacher slips in front of freshman’ and et cetera.” Many students are not appreciative of the Jesuits’ attempt to save their souls. “Bro, look at this shirt, bro. It’s Polo, bro, and now it’s gonna shrink, bro,” said a sophomore who wished to remain unnamed. Assistant Principal for Student Life Brock Kesterson is staying clear of the matter, saying that it is not within his job description. “The Jesuits are not students, so they’re not my problem,” Kesterson said, “I don’t know who is going to deal with the problem, but I am really glad it is not me.” The Jesuits have divided into two units in order to cover maximum ground: one on the second floor, led by Houlihan, and one on the first floor, led by Fr. John Lan Tran. The Jesuits have shown no sign of stopping. In fact, reinforcements arrived yesterday from Jesuit Hall at St. Louis University. AP Statistics teacher Dan See has used the week’s events to help his class learn, making his students keep track of the casualties. According to See’s class, 185 freshmen, 201 sophomores, 167 juniors, and 102 seniors have been shot, along with 12 teachers, including a very angry Mr. Curdt. In addition to the soakings, seven teachers have slipped so far. So far, there have been no serious injuries, though school nurse Scott Gilbert warned of the psychological damage that the freshmen could suffer. “Freshmen are extremely weak and prone to trauma. Being constantly soaked by the Jesuits could cause them to have nightmares, or make them prematurely act like sophomores,” he said. Kesterson said that the school is in the process of deciding who will tell the Jesuits to stop. “We’d tell them to stop, but right now, everyone is too afraid to,” Kesterson said, “We’re going to have a faculty-wide hopscotch tournament, and the winner will get to pick who approaches the Jesuits.”

“I’m going to trade for every former Red Sox I can, and hopefully I can convince some guys to unretire,” Moran said, “Carlton Fisk is somewhere in his 70s, but I’m pretty sure he’ll still be better than Rod Barajas.” The feedback on the Moran hire has been mostly negative, with Tim Kurkjan calling it “the stupidest move in the history of baseball”. However, ESPN talking head/baseball analyst and Cardinal legend Mark Mulder expressed his support for the move. “They had some improvement last year, and in Pittsburgh, that’s not supposed to happen, so this should put them back where they belong,” Mulder said.

“If he prays enough, anything can happen, even me completing a pass,” said Tim Tebow, backup quarterback for the New York Jets, media phenomenon and living evangelical Christian saint. Nicolas Cage, the owner of the Pirates, said that his decision was inspired by Billy Beane’s Moneyball strategy. “I figured that if I made a completely new innovation at the GM position, I would become famous, and maybe it would work out,” Cage said, “Hopefully, we’ll have more success than my acting career, and then blow it up and turn it in to a major movie, where I’ll play myself, using my Nouveau-Shamanic acting technique and give myself a much bigger

role in the movie than I actually did in real life.” SLUH didn’t completely lose out on the Moran move. Per MLB rules, the Pirates had to give SLUH compensation for hiring Moran. In exchange for Moran, SLUH received a cooler of Gatorade, two packs of Big League Chew, and Bill Johnson, a minor league player who signed straight out of high school in 2011. President David Laughlin is pleased with the acqusitions. “His D average might raise some eyebrows, but I look at it as a way to bring in a fresh perspective. It’s a way to connect with kids we have a hard time connecting with, such as the lacrosse team,” said Laughlin.

O’Neil cannot stop Excavating BY Norm and Smalls BIGGS DIDN’T FIT IN THE BYLINE

hen history teacher Tim O’Neil learned of the ruins of a 19th century neighborhood being under SLUH, he wanted to learn more about what was really there. O’Neil started his search for buried treasure about a month ago. O’Neil reports, “Excavations are going really well.” “It’s really exciting to be digging up all these artifacts from the past,” says O’Neil. “We’ll never know quite what we dig up.” He adds, “It’s kind of like going to McDonalds and getting a happy meal. You know you’re going to get a toy, but you don’t really know what it is. The one thing you know for sure is that it’s gonna be good!” O’Neil enjoys using the magnetic susceptibility and elec-

trical resistivity tools to search the upper field. “It’s like being a kid again. I used to love going on scavenger hunts so I’m glad I can relive my childhood through this archeology project.” Not everyone is as enthused about O’Neil’s new-found passion for digging up St. Louis’s past. Fellow history teacher Tom McCarthy thinks O’Neil is just “playing in a glorified sandbox. He could spend his time doing something useful like reading Abraham Lincoln biographies.” Another history teacher, Bob O’Connell agrees O’Neil should be “spending his time better. It’s March, he should be researching his March Madness bracket.” History and Psychology teacher Tom Wilson says, “I’m not too concerned. The more time O’Neil spends digging, the

less time he has for filling out his bracket.” Insider sources report the history department bracket pool is highly competitive. First year Psychology teacher Tom Kickham says, “I chose not to participate this year being a new teacher here. I’ve heard it gets vicious.” McCarthy says, “I take cheating on a bracket every bit, if not more, seriously than cheating on an exam. I have no respect for any colleague that tries to win by devious ways.” O’Neil remains confident in his bracket saying, “Trust me, I know the South Dakota State Jackrabbits are going all the way this year.” World history students taught by O’Neil are also concerned about the time O’Neil is devoting the his archeology.

Intramural Sports Schedule

Delayed. See Zimbra for further details.

Occupy Alumni Field

President David Laughlin was surprised to discover the St. Ignatius Statue back in its original location on the Upper Field after Spring Break. Observers noted that Iggy was now surrounded by visible land mines, supposedly to deter any future relocations. Theologians assumed God has a reason for the school’s patron to be re-relocated. Ignatius activist and senior Jack Mimlitz declined to comment, but it ought to be noted that he was smiled devilishly when Ignatius was mentioned.

SPORTS

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

March 29, 2012 photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto

Deep tennis squad meshes experience and improvement BY Stephen STAFF

Lumetta

o more Abe Souza. No more Greg Marifian. The phenoms of their day are gone, and a new era has begun for St. Louis U. High tennis. For the first time since 2003, there will be no dominant star who came in as a freshman and started at the No. 1 singles spot for his four years at SLUH. On the surface, it looks as if SLUH tennis will take a big hit after the graduation of Marifian, who placed fourth at State and was named (second team) All State in his senior year, but there is more to the team than that. While tennis also lost doubles players Gil Plitt, Alex Childs, and Tyler Carron to graduation, its real strength lies in its depth and a strong senior class. “I think our team is very deep this year. We really can’t replace a Greg Marifian. (No. 1 singles and junior) David Mayhall has really improved his game. He’s become a much more seasoned, all-around savvy player. He’s gotten a lot more aggressive. He’s taken over the leadership role well,” said head coach Patrick Zarrick. Senior Cameron Trachsel, junior Michael Essma, and senior Tony Ghazarian will play singles at the Nos. 2, 3, and 4 spots, respectively. “You add the returning singles players we have in Trachsel, Essma, and Ghazarian: there’s a lot of experience there. I feel very good about our singles players,” said Zarrick. The doubles sector of the team also shows promise, with senior Matei Stefanescu and sophomore Danny Schneller at No. 1 doubles. “Matei has been at the varsity level for a couple years now, so we’ll combine his experience with Danny Schneller’s improvement and I look for good things from our one dubs,” said Zarrick. Zarrick also spoke high-

ly of the No. 2 doubles team, made up of senior Connor Madden and freshman Kyle Schnell. “Madden has really improved his play over the last year, and he’s paired up with our only freshman that made varsity, Schnell,” said Zarrick. For the No. 3 doubles spot, Zarrick will alternate two teams. One team is made up of seniors Austin Huelsing and Kevin Madden, and the other team is made up of senior Michael Hohl and junior Sean Philip. Zarrick has made several goals for the year already, including instructing the players to work as a team. “(I want) to instill a team concept in these guys, to have them support each other,” said Zarrick. “Even though they need to excel in each individual match, the team wins regardless of what position wins. If a certain player or a group of players gets done, I want them to support their teammates.” A few of Zarrick’s other goals include finishing the season with a winning record, winning the Metro Catholic Conference tournament, and reaching Sectionals. “I would like our team to go to State. We’re really, really deep this year,” said Mayhall. Mayhall also hopes that the team can win the MCC tournament and beat rivals Ladue and CBC. With all his goals in mind, Zarrick does not think the season will be an easy one. “Although I feel we’re deep, I don’t have a good sense of what the competition has lost or gained this coming year,” he said. Zarrick also mentioned that the team will get a taste of its competition early in the season when they play schools with traditionally strong tennis programs, like Ladue and John Burroughs. SLUH’s first match is at 4:00 this afternoon against Ladue at Dwight Davis.

Inline reaches new Tier BY Joe Moran REPORTER

fter winning the Tier 2 State title last year, St. Louis U. High Inline hockey team (0-3) enters a new challenge at Tier 1. The team has had a tough start, losing all three games they’ve played so far. The team has lost to Francis Howell North 7-4, Wentzville 8-1, and Francis Howell North 5-3. As head coach Tim O’Neil explains, Tier 1 has more St. Charles schools. “(Those schools) are welldeveloped schools that have been around for awhile,” O’Neil said. Some of the new, stronger, tougher opponents for the inline squad are Wentzville, Oakville, and Fort Zumwalt, and the Francis Howell district.

This contrasts to the Tier 2 league that they played in last year, which O’Neil explained has the teams SLUH traditionally plays, such as DeSmet and Vianney. Though the team will be facing tougher opponents, junior Scott McCartney is unfazed. “Tier 1 doesn't feel much different, except that it’s fasterpaced,” McCartney said. Returning this year is the core of the team from last year’s team: seniors Dan Warnecke, Trent Lulow, Chase Berger, Brendan Niebruegge, and junior Scott McCartney. Leading the team in goals so far is senior forward Jack Fogarty, with three. The next game is against Francis Howell this Friday.

Senior John Larkin makes a break for the open field against a lightning-shortened game against Eureka.

State-seeking Rugbybills crush Jeff City BY Clark REPORTER

DeWoskin

he St. Louis U. High Rugby team (5-1) completed its spring break with a 45-7 thrashing of the Jefferson City squad. The teams were scheduled to compete at both the JV and varsity levels, but Jeff City's 17-man squad was unable to do so. It all worked out for the best though, as a combination of 30 SLUH varsity and JV players managed to see time on the pitch. “I think overall we played a smart game,” said coach Chris Keeven, noting that he was excited to see the JV players get some time despite their game having been cancelled. Down four starters, the Jr. Bills came on strong as senior forward Aaron Kerwood scored the first try of the game only minutes in, and senior back Jake Kinsella followed with the second not long after. Kerwood broke free for yet another try before senior James Boeckman scored following an assist by fellow senior Michael Henry. Boeckman then returned the favor with an assist that led to

Henry’s first of two consecutive tries. Captain Nick “Syk” Sykora assisted Henry on his second of the two. Henry’s first try followed junior Patrick Mulligan’s kick to midfield. Boeckman, a wing, then chased it down and off-loaded it to Henry, the outside center, who cut left and and ran to the try zone for five. On the second, Sykora had a long run, and, as he was being tackled, off-loaded it to Henry, who finished off the last 30 yards for five more points. Mulligan completed the conversion on both for two points each. He finished five for seven on the day. The BringThePainBills led 33-0 at halftime, prompting Keeven to substitute out many of his starters in favor of younger players. All went well until junior Luke Mammen gave the team a scare when he ended up on the turf for minutes after a crushing tackle. Luckily, Mammen was able to walk away with only a mild concussion. Despite the victory, senior Mason Jungels was unsatisfied.

“Even though we beat Jeff City, we didn’t compete anywhere close to our best,” said Jungels. Jungels cited the heat and spring break, as well as poor field conditions and a somewhat cocky attitude, as contributing factors. The match followed a cancellation against Eureka on March 15 due to lightning. The RugerBills remain undefeated (3-0) in the state of Missouri, leading to optimism about the team’s future. “We should win State this year,” said Henry. “Anything less would be a disappointment.” Henry later added, “I couldn’t be happier about the team. We have a lot of good, experienced seniors as well as some new guys who have caught on pretty quickly. We’ve had some good wins this season, one of which against the defending state champs, DeSmet.” The Jr. Bills will continue their season tonight at home against the Parkway United squad with a 6:00 kickoff.

This week in SLUH History 1986: Spring Break split and shortened Volume 50, Issue 26 March 21, 1986 This week in SLUH history 26 years ago, the St. Louis U. High administration announced a plan to restructure the traditional week-long spring break into one five-day weekend after third quarter exams and another fourday weekend three weeks later to accommodate Holy Week.

Assistant Principal for Student Welfare and Discipline Art Zinselmeyer said that whereas the week-long break works well for colleges, the school decided that with so many other days off throughout the year, high school students do not need such an extended break. He added that high school spring breaks typically don’t have the same hype as they do in college. Additionally, a late Eas-

ter (April 19) led Zinselmeyer and the rest of the administration to determine that it would be impractical to have a regular spring break so late in Spring. Zinselmeyer did acknowledge that SLUH remained open to re-implementing a traditional spring break when the date of Easter allowed.

SPORTS

March 29, 2012

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

Jr. Bills return after near perfect season, jump to 4-1 photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto

Junior shortstop Matt Binz charges for third base. BY Jack Witthaus SPORTS EDITOR

he St. Louis U. High Jr. Bills (4-1) have emerged from the rain-soaked, season-ending quarterfinal loss last year against Francis Howell with a spring in their step. In their first five starts, SLUH has beat McCluer North, Chaminade, Farmington, and Hancock, losing only to Ladue, their first regular season loss since May 6, 2010. Hungry for a victory after a 7-6 loss to Ladue last Saturday, SLUH won a difficult game on Monday against the Farmington Knights, 5-2. The Jr. Bills made the 90-min-

ute trek to Wilson-Rozier Park, the spring training site for the St. Louis Browns during World War II. After junior ace Brian Howard allowed a run in the first on a double by the Knights’ cleanup hitter and starting pitcher, he dug in and tossed four scoreless frames, at one point retiring 11 batsmen in a row. In the top of the second, SLUH roared back with RBI hits from sophomore designated hitter Charlie Nestor and junior shortstop Matt Binz. Later in the third, junior left fielder Kaleb King reached on an error and scored on a big-time double from senior third baseman Willie Floros. Floros himself

scored on an error. Up 4-1, the Jr. Bills tallied their fifth run in the fourth inning after senior center fielder Paul Simon reached on an error, was sacrificed to third on two bunts, and scored on a senior right fielder Bryan Maas base knock. However, the game teetered in the bottom of the sixth, when Howard worked a bases-loaded, no-out situation. Relying on the changeup, Howard punched out the Knights’ clean-up hitter and forced a ground out and a can of corn fly ball to centerfield. He escaped, allowing only one run. “(Against Farmington), his best pitch was his changeup,” head coach Steve Nicollerat said. “He threw it, they didn’t hit it … I thought (it) was dynamite.” Howard went the distance, striking out five and allowing only one earned run to improve to 3-0. “I felt pretty good,” Howard said. “My stuff was working, and the guys played great defense behind me.” Defense played a critical role in the Jr. Bills win. Binz led the team with six put outs, while the Knights made six errors. HOME OPENER SLUH opened the season against McCluer North, thumping the Stars 7-1 on March 17. The Jr. Bills fell into a hole in the top of the first, when Stars pitcher Peter Jackson scored on a sacrifice fly. Howard struggled with command early on, giving up three walks. But the Jr. Bills rebounded in the next frame, with King and junior catcher Charlie Kretschmer driving in senior shortstop L.J. Hernandez and King. Up 2-1, SLUH scored twice again in the second, once in the fourth, and twice in the fifth inning. King led the offense, going two for two with two walks, two stolen bases, three RBIs, and a walk. On the mound, Howard set-

tled down after the first and tossed two solid innings. He struck out and walked four, allowing only one base hit. In the bottom of the fifth, a thunderstorm ended the game, but the Jr. Bills were given the victory. Last Wednesday, the Jr. Bills mercied Chaminade 12-2, in a game that they found themselves behind at first. Finally, SLUH won its fourth game of the season on Tuesday, a 17-1 mercy ruling against Hancock. SLUH scored all of its runs on eight hits, including a 15-run barrage in the first inning. AROUND THE BASES Last season, the Jr. Bills ended with the best record in franchise history, going perfect in the regular season—a remarkable feat—and finishing 24-1. SLUH lost to Francis Howell 12-3 in a rainy quarterfinal game. Francis Howell went on to win State. Thus far, the team appears strong even after the loss of ace Sasha Kuebel to college and senior pitcher and infielder Mitch Klug to an arm injury. Klug is likely to return as a designated hitter on May 1. However, senior catcher Sam Knesel will not return to the lineup due to an injury in the off season. “That was a tough one because (Knesel) was a pretty offensively potent player,” Nicollerat said. “He did a nice job catching. We have to get through that, and we have plenty of good guys who can do a good job.” This year, the Jr. Bills rely on a deep bench and pitching staff and have flexibility in the infield and outfield. “Everyone, including the guys on the bench, is contributing and has a role.... Now there are 12 or 13 guys that are getting in there and playing,” Klug said. “I think we are looking pretty good. I think we have a lot of athletes.”

The veteran ballclub, which returns most of its players from last year, seems to have jelled. On the bus ride back to St. Louis from Farmington, Pitts commented on the camaraderie after the game. “The thing about this team is that we all get along, and there’s no feuds or cliques,” Pitts said. Evidence of the chemistry can be found in SLUH catcher Kretschmer, who is making the calls himself behind the plate. For the past four years, assistant coach Jim Manning has called each pitch. “We think Charlie (Kretschmer) is ready to handle that,” Nicollerat said. “And he has done really, really well.” “I worked with (all the pitchers) last year, so I’m pretty familiar with what they throw,” Kretschmer said. “I played a couple JV games last year, so I know (the younger) guys. Kretschmer will catch a majority of the time for SLUH’s ace Howard, who has earned high praise from his head coach. “He’s just one of those rare guys that has a lot of potential,” Nicollerat said. “Brian Howard’s best years won’t be at SLUH. They are going to be six, seven years from now.” Although Nicollerat is still tinkering with the lineup, the expectation for his team has remained the same during the first five games. “The goal is always we want to get better. … We want to get better every game we play,” Nicollerat said. “I do think the kids feel that we’ve always had good years, but we’d like to finish it this year. “These are great kids. You saw them play (on Monday). They played like champions.”

Returning water polo champs ride wave of depth and character BY Justin REPORTER

Jellinek

inning takes talent. To repeat takes character.” — John Wooden Varsity water polo coach Paul Baudendistel has been trying to instill Wooden’s idea in his team this year. Led by one of its strongest senior classes in the last few years, the PoloBills are hoping to bring back another State victory, and to reach their full potential as a team. In the early season, the Jr. Bills have already played last year’s runner-up, Ladue, along with other teams hungry for a State championship such as Kirkwood and Parkway South. Led on the offensive side by senior captain Sam Erlinger, the Jr. Bills have had very few troubles getting the ball to the back of the net, when they are focused. Protecting SLUH’s goal is se“

nior captain Sean Sullivan who, though set back by a broken thumb earlier in the season, is back and ready to defend the Jr. Bills’ goal. Making sure that Sullivan doesn’t face many shots this season is senior two-meter guard Pieter Derdeyn, who proved over the summer when he went to California that getting a shot off on his guard is a huge feat and rare occurrence. Although the BaudBills did come out sluggish in their season opener against Ladue, they did manage a 9-5 win. Junior goalie Cullen Gerber earned player of the game for his excellent coverage of the goal in Sullivan’s absence. Seven different Jr. Bills scored during the game. The next day, as the Jr. Bills took on their club teammates at Kirkwood, they again came out as though asleep. Kirkwood trailed by one goal at half, and gave the Jr.

Bills a hard game until the buzzer sounded at the end of the fourth. Although Kirkwood played hard, SLUH’s conditioning showed as they kept sprinting and staying off the bottom all the way through the game for a 10-6 victory. Derdeyn earned player of the game honors for shutting down Kirkwood’s leading scorer Zach Smith. In their third game of the week, the Jr. Bills faced Parkway Central. The PoloBills found their rhythm against the Colts in a 21-0 victory. Erlinger was awarded player of the game for his six goals and five assists, and was helped by senior Michael Slaughter and junior Chris Favier in dominating the offensive side of the pool. Over spring break, the Jr. Bills again came out hard against the growing program at Fort Zumwalt West, prevailing in a

17-2 win. Erlinger again earned player of the game honors for his five goals, three assists, and six steals in only two quarters of playing time. Other notable performances include two goals from senior Michael Savio and a hat trick by sophomore Victor Castro. After making the four and a half hour ride to Chicago, the PoloBills dove right into a game against the Chicago team York, the hosts of the tournament in Illinois. York only netted one goal as SLUH ran away to a 16-1 win. Only an hour later, the Jr. Bills had to face their toughest opponent yet: Lyons, the secondranked team in Illinois. In a back and forth game that was fought hard by both teams, SLUH came out on top. Erlinger netted a buzzer beater to put SLUH ahead 1211, resulting in SLUH’s first one goal win since 2007.

The next day, the Jr. Bills faced their last opponent in the tournament, fellow Jesuit school Loyola Chicago. The Jr. Bills managed an 11-10 victory over last year’s runners-up in Illinois to win the tournament. Just this week, SLUH defeated Parkway South, playing without full intensity much of the time. Though the Jr. Bills won 142, they had a lot of trouble finding the back of the net on power plays, failing to score on any of their man-up plays. Sullivan earned player of the game for his four assists and eight saves.

SPORTS

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

March 29, 2012

Golf squad, Gilbert, hope to honor Bantle with inspired play photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto BY Adam REPORTER

Cooley

n their first match of the new season and under new coach Scott Gilbert the Jr. Bills golf squad (0-1) suffered a disappointing loss 230-246 to CBC on Tuesday. When asked what went wrong in their loss, sophomore Scott Schaeffer said that the putting greens had recently been aerated and felt that the harsh conditions of the greens caused some major putting troubles for some of the players. “It was like putting on a sand pit,” Schaeffer said in reference to the greens. Gilbert, the school nurse and former B baseball coach, was named the new golf coach last fall after former golf coach Greg Bantle passed away at the end of last summer. Gilbert had no hesitation about the coaching position. He said, “I was ready to go right from the beginning.” “I don’t live in fear,” Gilbert said, referring to his fearless attitude toward coaching golf this season.

When asked about his mindset about entering the program, Gilbert said, “I felt I had a lot to learn about the program itself, but in terms of the game, I felt pretty well versed.” Gilbert’s positive attitude towards the new coaching position led to a very positive winter offseason filled with workouts to enhance the golfers’ strength and getting to know his players. Bantle’s passing just before the beginning of the school year hit the SLUH community hard, including Gilbert, who was a friend of Bantle’s. “He really laid a solid foundation for this program” Gilbert said about Bantle as a golf coach. The team is honoring Bantle in a special way this season by wearing shirts with the word “Profe” and the initials “GB” embroidered on the sleeve. “He will certainly be in our thoughts,” said Gilbert, who also believes “(Mr. Bantle) will be with us this season.” Gilbert’s expectations for the team’s success this year are very high, as he believes he has a very

talented group of golfers on the team. “We are in this for success,” Gilbert said. “We’ve had a lot of good practice rounds out of a lot of our guys,” Gilbert said about the players’ preseason success. Gilbert has come to expect solid and consistent performances out of sophomore Scott Schaeffer (SLUH’s only state qualifier last season), senior leaders Jack Mimlitz, Will Meehan, Matt Schoelch, and Fritz Simmon, and juniors Andy Hitch and Ben Hutchison. The varsity team also has two freshmen this year, Alex Ciaramitaro and Dan Venker. “We’re excited to see them play,” Gilbert said With Gilbert’s coaching, the players’ determination to win helped them work hard in the weight room over the winter and led to some excellent preseason practice rounds this spring. “Our guys want to be successful as individuals but also as a team,” Gilbert said. The team’s next match is today against DeSmet.

Senior Jack Mimlitz tees off at Forest Park.

Ultimate frisbee soars over early competition with senior-laden squad photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto

BY Stephen REPORTER

Senior handler Jeff Ullery releases a forehand pass on the Compton Drew fields. QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further.... And one fine morning— So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. —F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Nelson

ou’ve seen them tossing disc on the upper field for countless hours, in rain, wind, and snow. And now it’s paying off. With two blowout wins already in its back pocket, the St. Louis U. High Ultimate Frisbee team is off to a promising start to this 2012 season. On March 25, the Jr. Bills took on DeSmet’s JV squad. From the start, the FrisbeeBills gained a solid lead. Thanks to a tight defense and several aerial blocks, the Jr. Bills stifled the Spartan offense, and after a few quick scores from their own powerful offense, the Jr. Bills prevailed, 15-5. “We beat them pretty bad, and (senior) Danny (Millar) scored a ton of goals. We played pretty laid back but all in all I’d say it was a solid team performance,” said senior Michael McLaughlin. On March 18, the Jr. Bills took on Francis Howell Central on their home turf. Beginning with the first possession, the Jr. Bills came out hot, scoring on nearly every possession. The FrisbeeBills crushed Central, 15-1. “It was probably the quickest game I have ever played,” said senior Ryan McHugh. With coach Tim Huether’s departure after last year’s season, a brand new coaching staff, led by coach Andrew Schroeder, ’06, has taken charge of the team. Schroeder played four years of SLUH Ultimate and then four years at Notre Dame.

“I have loved being back involved with SLUH,” said Schroeder. “I believe in so much of what we do there, and it has been an honor to be able to help carry on something that was important to me as a student.” Along with Schroeder, coach Tom Kasper, father of sophomores David and Michael Kasper, is helping coach. Schroeder has chosen to switch up the offense this year, enforcing a horizontal stack. “Our new coach is terrific,” said Millar. “Smart guy. He put in a great offensive system, knows how to work a team and keep us in line. He’s got a great beard, too.” The new coaching staff already boasts two crushing wins, proving their strategies dominant. “I am excited for the season this year,” said Schroeder. “It’s always a little difficult with a head coaching change, but having been around the team a decent amount last year, the adjustment period has gone pretty smoothly. I think we’re just starting to find our groove, and we should be firing on all discs soon—pun intended.” Although Schroeder and Kasper have been an influence on this team’s success, a lot of the credit for the teams’ victories needs to be given to the players. With several experienced veterans and some fresh newcomers, this year’s lineup may be one of the most talented teams SLUH has seen in a long time. “Our varsity squad returns a number of solid players, and they

are looking good,” said Schroeder. “There are, of course, plenty of improvements to be made.” In addition to the talent, the team’s chemistry seems to be a strong point. “This year features a very senior-heavy team, which has brought a certain air of unity and brotherhood to the team,” said senior Jeff Ullery. While the team has a lot of seniors, the team has begun blending together and forming connections, learning each others’ playing styles. “We really need to get comfortable with each other so that no one makes rushed throws or panics with the disc,” said Ullery. “Once we reach that point, we will be very hard to beat.” This Sunday, the Ultimate team will challenge DeSmet’s varsity squad at SLUH. DeSmet looks to be SLUH’s biggest threat to the State title. With their traditionally strong Ultimate teams and an already standing rivalry between the two schools, it looks to be a great game. “We just beat DeSmet’s JV team and if they use the same offense, I think we can come out on top,” said sophomore Larry Hoerr. With a new coaching staff, great team talent, and a promising year, SLUH Ultimate hopes to win the State title this year. “With the right amount of fight and effort, we are really going to go far,” said McHugh.

SPORTS

March 29, 2012

photo | Mr. Matt Sciuto

Prep News Volume 76, Issue 25

Track and field looks to compete in tough MCC BY Evan Becton REPORTER

Junior Tom Beckmann rises above the net for a blistering spike in SLUH’s first match against Fort Zumwalt South.

Volleybills reload with new and old talent BY Cullin REPORTER

Tripp

he Volleybills (1-0) won their season opener against Fort Zumwalt South, 25-23, 18-25, 2514 on Monday. The season began with a shaky first game win. The Jr. Bills led most of the way but never by a large margin. In the second game, SLUH got down early on the wrong end of a 10-4 run and struggled to get back into the game. “We were kind of cocky going into the game and I think that hurt us in the second game especially,” said senior Barrett Pazderka. “We were their fourth game this season, so they were a little more prepared than us.” After the Volleybills dropped the second game to Zumwalt South, Pazderka spurred the team to a third-game victory with a furious 13-serve streak. “It was actually pretty cool, having a great run like that in the first match of the season,” Pazderka commented. The team looked sharp in the

third game, winning a couple of longer rallies and getting lots of clean blocks on Ft. Zumwalt’s outside hitters. “It was a pretty typical first game,” said junior Jack Walsh. “We came out looking a little rough, but if we play like we did at the end of the match there aren’t a lot of teams out there that can beat us.” After losing nine seniors from the squad last year, the team now has a new starting lineup in place. “Even though we lost nine guys, we have a lot of last year’s sophomores and juniors that are ready to step in and be leaders,” said coach Dan Becvar. “We still have a ton of talent on our team and we still have State and MCC titles as our goals.” In addition to returning varsity members, the team has also brought up sophomores Ben Steinhart and Eric Ottenlips; juniors Alec Abeln, Cole Guignon, and Aaron Buettner; and senior Sam Adams from JV. “We have a lot of JV gradu-

ates, and I think they can all make a great impact on the team,” said JV head coach and varsity assistant Jim Gioia. “With this many new players, it’s important that we grow as a team on and off the court, and I think we’ve started to do that in this first game,” said junior captain Kurt Thiemann. There are also a few key returning players for the Jr. Bills: junior Tom Beckmann, junior Jack Walsh, and senior Luke Naegeli. “I think these guys are probably the most important returnees on the team,” Thiemann said. Beckmann is highly touted by colleges already. “I think Tom is probably one of the better players in the state this year, and it really helps to have a guy like him going into the season,” Becvar commented. The Volleybills visit Chaminade on Wednesday at 4:00 p.m., and head into the St. Louis Varsity Tournament this weekend. They begin pool play with games at 5:00 p.m and 7:00 p.m. on Friday.

Lacrosse nearly conquers the north BY Jack Robinson REPORTER

ed its first loss at the hands of MICDS in a close 5-4 match. he St. Louis U. High var- On March 3, the team took sity lacrosse team (4-2) a trip to South Bend, Indiana to looks to be an experienced and play in a tournament at the Unipromising team for the upcom- versity of Notre Dame. On the ing season. After placing fourth way up, they stopped in Indiaoverall in State lacrosse last year, napolis to face Heritage Christian the Jr. Bills are back at it again. Academy. SLUH finished them off Twelve seniors have returned easily in a 10-5 victory. for the 2012 season, including In their first game of the Marquette University signees tournament, the Jr. Bills played Sam Cannon and Thomas Place. Summit Country Day School The varsity squad started from Cincinnati, Ohio. Again, off the season with a home game the U. High team came out on the against Christian Brothers High winning side, dishing out a 16-3 School in Memphis. They beat the pounding to the Ohio natives. southern Cadets soundly in a 9-2 Next they faced St. Xavier victory. from Louisville, whom they narIn the opening week rowly beat in an 8-7 win, sliding SLUH lacrosse was also hand- by on a clutch goal from junior

midfielder Matthew Hinkebein. In their final game, the Jr. Bills faced St. Michael’s High School, who hailed from Canada. A late goal by senior midfielder Michael Leritz sent the contest into overtime. But the Canadians ended up pulling off an 11-10 victory, sending the St. Louis U. High team back home. The Jr. Bills stand sixth overall in the St. Louis lacrosse power rankings (as posted by laxpower. com). SLUH takes on Lafayette at Crestview Middle school at 5:45 p.m. today before hosting Olathe at 1:00 p.m. on Sunday and Chaminade at 7:00 next Wednesday.

he St. Louis U. High track team looks very impressive as the season gets underway. Even after the significant losses from last year such as seniors Tim Rackers in distance and Alex Cross in throwing, the Jr. Bills seem to have restocked and hope to improve on a 24th place finish at the State meet last year. "The sprint squad is stronger because we have guys who came out in the past coming back like Terek Hawkins and Jamil IrvinMuhammad. Also, adding Raymond Wingo to help out Alex Groesch and Darion Baker brings our sprint squad more depth than in the past," said head coach Joe Porter. "Our sprint squad is looking good because now we have a complete 4 x 100 and 4 x 200," said senior pole vault captain Daniel Appelbaum. SLUH finished first place at the first meet of the year, the Gateway Invitational. "If you look at our first meet of the year, Gateway, we are an all around team. We only won one race, but we scored points in 14 of the 19 events. We were able to win the meet because we spread out our points so well. So we really have multiple strengths because we can score points in multiple events," Porter said. The motto is the same as last year's: "Good leadership." And just like last year, the UsainBoltBills have strong captains on a senior-laden squad. For shot and discus, the captains are seniors Gerard Gayou and Greg Patton. The sprint and hurdles captains are seniors Darion Baker, Matt McCarthy, Tommy Behr, and Dan Williams, who along with Hawkins, Muhammad, Groesch, and Wingo should have a very promising year. Leading the always talented distance squad will be seniors Nathan Rubbelke and Joe Esswein, with help from sophomore standout John Esswein. Captaining the pole vaulters will be senior Dan Appelbaum, who says he hopes to break the school record of 14 feet by the end

of the year. And lastly the jump squad will be led by high jumping senior captain Luke Hagerty, whose squad also includes junior Prince Yakubu and Muhammad. A team is only as good as its part and the Jr. Bills' key parts seem to be functioning well. Porter said, "Our goal is for each of our guys to get better. Run faster, or jump farther, or throw farther than at the beginning of the year. After that it is to come after our conference title and then come away with a State trophy in the top four." Winning conference will be a lot easier said than done. With the talent pool in the Metro Catholic Conference (MCC), including the talented CBC Cadets and last year's conference champs DeSmet, SLUH has a tough task ahead. DeSmet, placing second at the Gateway Invitational, scored only two points behind SLUH and CBC finished third, just 4.5 points behind the Jr. Bills. "We really want to win MCCs this year because we had won it six years in a row before last year, where DeSmet came in and took it. So we are hungry for it again," said senior distance runner Nathan Rubbelke. When asked about State, Rubbelke replied, "We have got a lot of new guys out this year and part of the reason they came out is to win, but right now we are just taking it week to week to try to see where the pieces fall." The pieces look good for the Jr. Bills right now as they prepare for MCC Relays today at Chaminade at 4:00 p.m.

Gateway Invitational Results Top Three: 1) SLUH

79 points

2) DeSmet 77 points 3) CBC

74.5 points

Volleyball Nightbeat

The Volleybills (2-0) cruised past Chaminade in a much more mistake‑free match as they won 2-0. The first game ended with a final of 25-14, and the second game finished with a score of 25-9. Senior setter Zach Boatman had an impressive dump for a kill, and the team played with confidence. The large lead allowed the bench players to get into the mix, and played a crucial part in the victory. —compiled by Cullin Tripp

Volume 76, Issue 25

Thursday, March 29 AP 3:30pm 4pm 4:15pm 4:30pm 5:15pm 5:30pm 5:45pm 6pm Lunch

SCARF BAR

Prep News Schedule R

Sports Pep Rally Snack—Bosco Sticks V Golf vs. DeSmet @ Forest Park JV Golf vs. DeSmet @ TBA V Track @ MCC Relays @ Chaminade V Tennis vs. Ladue @ Forest Park JV Tennis @ Ladue @ Ladue Middle School JV Water Polo @ Chaminade JV Lacrosse @ Lindbergh @ Selvidge Middle C Baseball vs. CBC @ Forest Park #1 C Lacrosse @ Parkway West @ Pkwy. W. Middle JV Rugby vs. Parkway United B Baseball @ Rockwood Summit JV Volleyball @ Pattonville V Water Polo @ Chaminade V Volleyball @ Pattonville V Lacrosse @ Lindbergh @ Selvidge Middle Sustainability Committee Meeting V Rugby vs. Parkway United Special—Papa Johns Pizza Healthy—Baked Mostaciolli

Friday, March 30

No Classes Sophomore Midway Reflection Faculty Day of Service—No Classes V Volleyball @ DeSmet Tournament 4pm V Baseball vs. Loyola Academy 4:15pm C Baseball vs. Borgia @ Forest Park #2 7pm CASHBAH Preview

Saturday, March 31 CASHBAH V Volleyball @ DeSmet Tournament 10:30am V Baseball vs. Rockhurst

Sunday, April 1 11am 1pm

JV Lacrosse vs. Olathe V Lacrosse vs. Olathe

Monday, April 2 AP 3:30pm 4pm 4:15pm 4:30pm 5pm Lunch

Schedule R

Snack—Curly Fries V Golf vs. Vianney @ Sunset Lakes JV Golf vs. Vianney @ Forest Park V Tennis @ MICDS JV Tennis @ MICDS JV Water Polo vs. DeSmet @ FPCC JV Volleyball @ Parkway West B Baseball @ Mehlville V Baseball vs. Parkway West V Water Polo vs. DeSmet @ FPCC V Volleyball @ Parkway West Special—Flatbread Pizza Healthy—Lasagna Roll-up with Sauce

Tuesday, April 3

Early Dismissal

AP Maryville University—TBD Rosary Snack—Chicken Giggles 4pm V2 Track @ Webster Invitational @ Hixson Middle 4:15pm C Baseball vs. Parkway Central @ Forest Park #1 5:30pm Parent-Teacher Conferences Lunch Special—Taco Bar Healthy—Soup in Bread Bowl

Wednesday, April 4 8:15am AP 3:30pm 4pm 5pm 5:30pm 6pm 7pm Lunch

Schedule R Lent Adoration Easter Prayer Service Sustainability Committee Meeting Snack—Pretzel Braids V Golf vs. Chaminade @ Forest Park JV Golf vs. Chaminade @ Glen Echo V Tennis @ Chaminade JV Tennis @ Chaminade C Lacrosse vs. Chaminade V Track @ Northwest Relay @ NW House Springs JV Volleyball vs. DeSmet JV Lacrosse vs. Chaminade V Volleyball vs. DeSmet V Lacrosse vs. Chaminade Special—Meatball Sandwich Healthy—Turkey on Ciabatta Roll

Marshmallow-catching video wins Hagerty $1,000 in Phillips 66 Local Legends contest

March 29, 2012

Thursday, April 5

No Classes Holy Thursday—No Classes 11am B Baseball vs. DeSmet 12pm V Baseball @ DeSmet 2pm C Baseball vs. Vianney @ Forest Park #1 V Tennis vs. Vianney @ Forest Park JV Tennis vs. Vianney @ Forest Park

Friday, April 6 Good Friday—No Classes

No Classes

Saturday, April 7 9am

V Track @ University City Invitational

Sunday, April 8

No events scheduled

Monday, April 9

No Classes Easter Monday—No Classes 3:30pm V Golf vs. Priory @ Bellerive JV Golf vs. Parkway South @ Forest Park 4pm V Tennis @ John Burroughs JV Tennis vs. John Burroughs @ Forest Park 4:15pm C Baseball vs. Parkway West @ Forest Park #1 JV Rugby @ Priory B Baseball vs. Affton @ Forest Park 4:30pm V Baseball vs. McCleur @ Ritenour Tournament

Tuesday, April 10

Schedule R Sophomore Conversations (through April 19) AP Rosary Snack—Chicken Tornados 3:30pm V Golf vs. MICDS @ Forest Park 4pm V Tennis vs. DeSmet @ Forest Park B/C Track @ Hazelwood West Relays JV Tennis vs. DeSmet @ Forest Park 4:30pm JV Volleyball @ Marquette 5:30pm C Lacrosse @ MICDS V Volleyball @ Marquette Lunch Special—Chicken Fried Steak Sandwich Healthy—Chicken Parmesan

Wednesday, April 11

Schedule R AP Snack—Turnovers 3:15pm Spring Signing Day 3:30pm V Golf vs. DeSmet @ Glen Echo JV Golf vs. DeSmet @ Forest Park 4pm C/JV Track @ SLUH-DeSmet Track Meet @ SLUH and DeSmet V Tennis vs. CBC @ Forest Park JV Tennis vs. CBC @ Forest Park 4:15pm C Baseball vs. St. Mary’s @ Forest Park #1 5pm V Rugby @ CBC 6pm Racquetball Banquet Lunch Special—Toasted Ravioli Healthy—Pancakes

Thursday, April 12

In a frame from his video submission, senior Luke Hagerty hangs from a railing, ready to catch a marshmallow in his mouth as part of his video entry in the Phillips Local Legends contest. BY Thomas STAFF

Riganti

hat do Luke Hagerty, Phillips 66 gasoline, and marshmallows have in common? Hagerty acwcepted Phillips 66’s Local Legends Challenge by submitting a video of himself catching marshmallows in his mouth in extreme ways. The television commercial featured Hagerty catching marshmallows thrown out window and from over a house. Hagerty also caught the marshmallows while jumping over a trash can and once while hanging upside down from a tree. Hagerty is referred to as “the Phillips 66 of marshmallow tricks” in the commercial. Hagerty was listening to the radio over the summer when he heard

a Phillips 66 commercial looking for special talents. “I didn’t have a summer job yet, and I needed money,” said Hagerty. “I figured none of my normal talents would win, so I had to think of something random that people would remember.” Hagerty chose marshmallows be-

cause they were easy to see on camera and would not chip his teeth during the long throws. It’s a skill he has mastered after years of practice. “When I get hungry, I throw things in my mouth, so I guess I have a lot of experience,” said Hagerty. Hagerty’s video received fifth place, winning him a $1,000 gas card.

Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her; If you can bounce high, bounce for her too, Till she cry “Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover, I must have you!” from the epigraph of The Great Gatsby

Schedule R ACES Leadership Retreat Mix-It-Up Lunch AP Sustainability Committee Meeting AP Pre Administration Meeting Snack—Bosco Sticks 3:30pm V Golf vs. CBC @ Glen Echo JV Golf vs. CBC @ Forest Park 4pm C Lacrosse vs. Vianney 4:15pm C Baseball @ Parkway South 4:30pm B Baseball vs. Bishop DuBourg @ Forest Park #1 5pm JV Volleyball @ Vianney 5:30pm JV Lacrosse vs. Vianney 6pm V Volleyball @ Vianney 7pm V Lacrosse vs. Vianney 8pm V Water Polo vs. Lafayette @ Lindbergh Lunch Special—Papa Johns Pizza Healthy—Baked Mostaciolli

Friday, April 13

Schedule R

ACES Leadership Retreat AP Benedictine College—TBD Senior Class Mass Snack—Mini Tacos 4pm V Track @ Gary Parker Invitational @ Blue Springs V Tennis @ McCluer North JV Tennis @ McCluer North 8pm Sophomore Class Dance 9:20pm V Water Polo @ MICDS @ St. Peter’s Rec Plex Lunch Special—Chicken Strips Healthy—Bosco Pizza calendar | compiled by Stephen Lumetta