Community Matters Aberdeen Heights
June 2015 August 2014
When should you step in to help your parents? By Eileen Beal, courtesy of the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging
A parent may ask for the occasional favor, but most won’t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging. Chokshi, who has been working with families for 40 years, says that instead of seeking help, it’s typical for elderly parents to adapt and adjust their activities and routines. They do household chores more slowly (or not at all). They may use adaptive devices, such as a cane or a reacher or a magnifying glass. Perhaps they’ve lined up someone to pick them up for errands and appointments. And — often just to please their children — they will wear a medical alert bracelet or necklace. What our parents don’t admit But they usually aren’t admitting — especially to their adult children — that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their PARENTS, continued on page 4 BRAIN, continued on page 4
‘Table talk’ with Rosalie Eickhoff Ever wondered who was responsible for the centerpieces in the dining room? “I started this and I don’t know how it happened,” said Rosalie Eickhoff, Aberdeen Heights resident. “I raise a lot of flowers out in the garden and at my son’s house. We pick those and there’s about 10 people off and on – we change the centerpieces out twice a week.” Twice a week, the gardening group changes out the water and flowers for the arrangements in the dining room. If there are five people helping, they can do all 42 tables in 40 minutes. But before that can happen, Rosalie spends a couple of hours picking the flowers, clipping off branches and greenery to accompany the flowers and tending to weeds. “I do mostly dahlias and zinnias, but others have allowed me to pick flowers from their gardens, so I get daisies and a few other things,” said Rosalie. “We decorate with fresh flowers until October, then we switch to whatever holiday we have.” Rosalie has been a resident of Aberdeen Heights for three years. In addition to helping with the centerpieces, she also belongs to a garden club that makes fresh arrangements for tables at Manor Grove and The Glen once a year in March. TABLE TALK, continued on page 2
A proud member of Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America
TABLE TALK, continued from page 1
“I’ve gardened a lot over the years. I guess I got that from my aunt. She always saved bulbs for me,” said Rosalie. “I planted those and then moved to Aberdeen and took some bulbs to my son’s to plant there. Some of the bulbs are from the 1940s. I just plant annuals here since they produce the most flowers.” Continue enjoying the fresh flowers in the dining room until October. Then we’ll enjoy seasonal decorations such as artificial flowers, paper turkeys and little Christmas trees.
Talk of the Town: The Kirkwood Club Whether you’ve lived in Kirkwood your entire life or you recently started calling it home, you’re a “Kirkwoodian” and there’s a new club forming at Aberdeen Heights to help you know Kirkwood better – The Kirkwood Club. “We have planned a ‘get together’ for people who were born in Kirkwood and are hoping it will grow into more things,” said Aberdeen Heights resident Peg Atkins. “We are also hoping to engage the people who are brand new to Kirkwood to help them see their new hometown.” This includes a visit by Kirkwood Mayor Arthur McDonnell at 3 p.m. June 23. Mayor McDonnell is a native of Kirkwood and will speak about the history of the town. Representatives from both the Kirkwood Landmarks Association and Kirkwood Historical Society also are working with the club. “We are planning activities with both of these associations,” said Peg. “The club’s purpose is to bring the history alive to longtime residents, share information about one another and the town, and acquaint newcomers of Aberdeen to the outstanding qualities of Kirkwood.” Peg has lived in Kirkwood since 1961. “I appreciate the town so much. It’s unique and a treasure.” Peg and other residents shared a passion for Kirkwood and the group decided to proceed with making the club happen. “The focus is on the town and the health and wellness that result from being more at home in Kirkwood.”
Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Aberdeen Heights by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at: PresbyterianManors.org. James “Jamie” Kneen, executive director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact Vicky Weibel, resident lifestyle coordinator, at vweibel@pmma.org. Telephone: 314-909-6000 Address: 575 Couch Ave., Kirkwood, MO 63122 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
2
Community Matters June 2015
If you’re interested in sharing Kirkwood memories or learning more about your hometown, a series of activities are being planned to bring Kirkwood alive to the residents of Aberdeen Heights. This includes gatherings to reminisce and connect. There are also plans to have tours of the town and noted buildings. All residents are invited. To learn more, speak with Marge Baker and Dianna Thomas.
Strut your stuff at our fashion show
Aberdeen Heights is having a fashion show at 1:30 p.m. June 10 in the multipurpose room.
Residents interested in modeling will go to Christopher Banks at West County Mall the first week of June to pick out two outfits to model. After the show, models can purchase their outfits at a discount if they wish to do so. Join us for this fun event!
Father’s Day brunch and musical entertainment Celebrate Father’s Day at Aberdeen Heights with a delicious brunch in the dining room and then a lively music program by The Gateway Harmonica Club. The Gateway Harmonica Club is a not-for-profit organization that was formed in 1987 and has around 100 members. The club teaches people how to play harmonica and has a band of around 30 active members who play for senior living communities and senior church groups. They have also played at The Sheldon – a venue where many famous people have played. “One of our celebrity members was
Stan Musial – the ultimate baseball player’s baseball player,” said Herb Huebner, a member of The Gateway Harmonica Club for the past five years. “In 2014, we got invited to play at opening day because Stan was a member. The six best people we had at the time stood on home plate and played the national anthem. Three days later they had Stan Musial Day where every fan got a harmonica with his name on it.” When the band is playing around St. Louis they can typically be found playing big band songs, “Moonlight Serenade,” “Peg o’ My Heart,” polkas, Irish songs and, of course, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”
The band also pays tribute to their other past celebrity member, Richard Hayman. Richard was the conductor of the pops orchestra in St. Louis and introduced the harmonica to classical music. Want to join the club? “People just need to learn how to play the chromatic harmonica, and we provide the lessons,” said Herb. “When you know how and show willingness to learn music you can play in the band. It’s not that hard to do.” Be sure to check out The Gateway Harmonica Club at the upcoming Father’s Day brunch.
Aberdeen Heights
3
PARENTS, continued from page 1
medications or back into things with the car. They don’t think it’s any of their kids’ business. Or, they are in denial about what’s going on. Try to see the big picture Denial isn’t all on the parents’ side. Adult children are often deep in it, too. They don’t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. They may resist accepting that familial roles are starting to reverse and that they need to step in, either helping a parent themselves or lining up support.
whole physical, emotional and psychological picture. Also, look for indicators that your parent’s spiritual needs are being met. Many older adults have had very strong and active affiliations with their religious organizations and it’s important for them to keep those up. What to look for The following are incidents/ situations/observations to be on the lookout for and, where appropriate, question a parent about: • Falls, accidents and bruises
• Difficulty getting up from a seated position or with walking, balance If you’re guilty of denial, it’s time for and mobility you to take a hard look around for • A decline in housekeeping and the telltale signs that things aren’t house maintenance (dishes piled going well for a parent or loved one. in the sink, dirty floors, broken Don’t just look for safety and health railings, drippy faucets, dirty walls, etc.) troubles, Chokshi advises. • A noticeable decline in grooming, Look for things that could point dress and personal care to problems with how a parent is functioning on a daily basis, and also • Unexplained weight loss (or gain) check on whether companionship • Inability to recognize or react to and socialization needs are danger being met. Try to check out the
• A falloff in socializing, getting out or visiting (often due to a shrinking social network) • Loss of interest in hobbies and activities • Forgetting to take medications — or taking more than the prescribed dosage • Uncertainty and confusion when performing once-familiar tasks Keep in mind that some problems could be due to an illness or be related to medications being taken (or not taken). So, sometimes a visit to the doctor is a good first step in assessing needs. Another scenario to be aware of when self-care and other habits change — it could indicate the onset of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia. If a parent is diagnosed with dementia, adult children need to be more watchful, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to step in with help right at that moment. Navigating the maze of eldercare options can be challenging. Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.
Coming Up in Community Matters Everyone has a story to tell... We’ll be talking about education in an upcoming edition of Community Matters. Were you a teacher or a school administrator? Do you have fond memories of what school was like when you were young? Are you amazed at the changes in schools now that your grandchildren and great-grandchildren are attending?
If you’d like to share your thoughts or memories, contact Resident Lifestyle Coordinator Vicky Weibel and your story may be selected for inclusion in an upcoming Community Matters newsletter.
4
Community Matters June 2015
Receive our newsletter by email. Message smay2@pmma.org and ask to have the newsletter delivered to your inbox. It’s that easy!