Commun ty Matters Clay Center Presbyterian Manor
When Should You Step In to Help Your Parents? By Eileen Beal, Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging
A parent may ask for the occasional favor, but most won’t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging.
25th Annual Manor Banquet was a success!
June 2015
The final expenses are still being processed, but we expect to net more than $5,000 from our annual Presbyterian Manor Banquet!
MaylynYarrow won the money vest with $151 on it. Shane Liby and John Doll each won half a hog. Norman Elliott won the $100 beef bundle. Sally Heilman won the $100 Leiszler gas card; Tessie Hanson won the $50 Farmway gas card. The Kindle Fire went to Amy Burr, and the Oak vintage-look music player went to Don Reed.
Chokshi, who has been working with families for 40 years, says that instead of seeking help, it’s typical for elderly parents to adapt and adjust their activities and routines.
They do household chores more slowly (or not at all). They may use adaptive devices, such as a cane or a reacher or a magnifying glass. Perhaps they’ve lined up someone to pick them up for errands and appointments. And — often just to please their children — they will wear a medical alert bracelet or necklace. What Our Parents Don't Admit
But they usually aren’t admitting — especially to their adult children — that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their medications
The room was crowded with attendees of the 25th Annual Banquet.
Emcee Rocky Downing from KCLY stops to visit with Billie Swenson.
STEPPING IN
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MORE BANQUET PHOTOS on page 3
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or back into things with the car.
They don’t think it’s any of their kids’ business. Or, they are in denial about what’s going on. Try To See The Big Picture
Denial isn’t all on the parents’ side. Adult children are often deep in it, too.
They don’t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. They may resist accepting that familial roles are starting to reverse and that they need to step in, either helping a parent themselves or lining up support. If you’re guilty of denial, it’s time for you to take a hard look around for the
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Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Clay Center Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org.
Mike Derousseau, executive director Heather Germann, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact Heather Germann, hgermann@pmma.org.
Telephone: 785-632-5646 Fax: 785-632-5874 Address: 924 Eighth St., Clay Center, KS 67432-2620
Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. ClayCenterPresbyterianManor.org
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How to know when your parents need more coordinated help.
telltale signs that things aren’t going well • Unexplained weight loss (or gain) for a parent or loved one. • Inability to recognize or react to danger Don’t just look for safety and health • A falloff in socializing, getting out troubles, Chokshi advises. Look for or visiting (often due to a shrinking things that could point to problems with social network) how a parent is functioning on a daily • Loss of interest in hobbies and basis, and also check on whether activities companionship and socialization needs are being met. Try to check out the • Forgetting to take medications — whole physical, emotional and or taking more than the prescribed psychological picture. dosage • Uncertainty and confusion when Also, look for indicators that your performing once-familiar tasks parent’s spiritual needs are being met. Many older adults have had very strong Keep in mind that some problems and active affiliations with their religious could be due to an illness or be related organizations, and it’s important for to medications being taken (or not them to keep those up. taken). So, sometimes a visit to the doctor is a good first step in assessing What To Look For needs. The following are incidents/situations/ Another scenario to be aware of when observations to be on the lookout for self-care and other habits change — it and, where appropriate, question a could indicate the onset of Alzheimer’s parent about: or a related dementia. If a parent is • Falls, accidents and bruises diagnosed with dementia, adult • Difficulty getting up from a seated children need to be more watchful, position or with walking, balance and but it doesn’t necessarily mean they mobility have to step in with help right at that • A decline in housekeeping and house moment. maintenance (dishes piled in the sink, Navigating the maze of eldercare dirty floors, broken railings, drippy options can be challenging. faucets, dirty walls, etc.) • A noticeable decline in grooming, Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc. dress and personal care
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Sharon Wachsnicht, Karen Bryan and Jeanette Doll were in charge of selling tickets for the drawings.
Vest winner Maylyn Yarrow with Tessie Hanson from Hanson Ford.
Father’s Day BBQ
Chapel
We will hold our annual Father’s Day BBQ with the men of Presbyterian Manor and their sons or other male loved ones. Stay tuned for more details as they develop.
June 2 Pastor Lynch
June 9 Pastor Coleman
June 16 Pastor Schoneweis June 23 Pastor Lingle
June 30 Father Weber
Wheat Harvest Field Trip A van ride for the residents will be held during wheat harvest to admire the fields and equipment bringing in the harvest. CLAY CENTER PRESBYTERIAN MANOR 3
Coming up in Community Matters:
We’ll be talking about education in an upcoming edition of Community Matters. Were you a teacher or a school administrator? Do you have fond memories of what school was like when you were young? Are you amazed at the changes in schools now that your grandchildren and great-grandchildren are attending? If you’d like to share your thoughts or memories, contact Heather Germann, marketing director,to share your idea.Your story may be selected for your community newsletter.
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Clay Center Presbyterian Manor 924 Eighth St. Clay Center, KS 67432-2620
Resident Gardening Memories Here are a few gardening memories as shared by some of the CCPM residents.
“If it rained, we had to spend time pulling weeds in between plants in the garden. If it was dry, time was spent watering the garden as much as possible.” “Canning was a hot and laborious chore, but it was necessary to preserve the harvest from the garden.” Many said they didn’t miss the hard work, but they do enjoy the fruits of the labor of others who bring in fruit and vegetables to share with them.
Many staff members like to can salsa, tomatoes and even sweet pickles to name a few. Others will put up corn, onions and beans in the freezer. Zucchini bread is always a good result of a great zucchini harvest.
COMMUNITY MATTERS JUNE 2015