Commun ty Matters Clay Center Presbyterian Manor
Celebrating National Social Work Month
March 2018
“Our nation’s more than 600,000 social workers have amazing tenacity and talent.”
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Engaging at Every Age
We will be celebrating Older American’s Month and National Nursing Home Week in an upcoming issue of Community Matters. The Older Americans Month theme is “Engage at Every Age.” If you have ways that you are intentionally staying engaged in activities you’ve always loved, using technology or if you just want to tell the world what you love about living in your senior living community, we want to share the story. Contact Heather Germann, marketing director, and your story could be featured in an upcoming edition of Community Matters.
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Tenacity: it’s a word used by the National Association of Social Workers to describe its professionals, and those who have benefited from a social worker’s services would agree. Their ability to find resources and solve residents’ challenges in spite of obstacles leads to improved quality of life. When our own social worker Susie Swanson retired in October 2017, we found someone who could step in and fill this important position with patience, professionalism and, yes, tenacity.
Cathy White and her husband, Greg
Meet Cathy White
“I began my position in October of 2017, when longtime social worker Susie Swanson retired from her position. I’m also a social worker for USD 379. I love working with kids and consider them to be our gold. I will
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retire from school social work in May of this year and I plan to devote more time to Presbyterian Manor as social worker consultant and as a volunteer,” said Cathy.
Cathy was a stay-at-home-mom until her children graduated high school, then she went to college to become a social worker. She worked for SRS from 1999 to 2007 until she took the position at the school. She looks forward to this new chapter of her life, and getting to know the residents at Clay Center Presbyterian Manor. “I have the joy of visiting with
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residents and their families. Right now I am getting to know the residents. It is a true blessing. Learning about them and listening to stories about their families and past adventures. Annually, I do reviews with the residents. I consider myself their advocate. I learn of their desires now that they are residents at Presbyterian Manor. Interacting with residents is my favorite part of my job. I love seeing their smiles and hearing about who they are and the journey they have been on thus far in life,” said Cathy. When she’s not helping residents or school children, Cathy enjoys spending time with her husband, Greg, who is retired. “We plan to do some traveling in the coming year. There are so many places in Kansas we want to explore.
Between us we have 11 grandchildren. We love following them in sports and things that interest them.
“I love to cook and create baked goods. Pies and cinnamon rolls are a weekly treat. In 1997 a wonderful friend needed to pass her starter on to someone, as she had cancer and could no longer keep up with this. I took the starter, which was for bread, and made it my own by developing a recipe for cinnamon rolls. I have made cinnamon rolls once a week since this time. Cinnamon rolls are a wonderful visitation tool.
“I look forward to what the future has in store for me and welcome the opportunity to be a part of the team at Presbyterian Manor.”
Save the Date and Fill Your Plate!
is published monthly for residents and friends of Clay Center Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org.
Christian Gilbert, executive director Heather Germann, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact Heather Germann, hgermann@pmma.org.
Telephone: 785-632-5646 Fax: 785-632-5874 Address: 924 Eighth St., Clay Center, KS 67432-2620
Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. ClayCenterPresbyterianManor.org
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Mark your calendars and whet your appetite for our 28th Annual Manor Banquet on April 25. Be looking for details in the April newsletter. (Sneak peek: the meal will be an Italian buffet of lasagna and chicken alfredo.)
How to be supportive to friends experiencing loss Loss is an inescapable part of life. Whether we’ve lost someone to death, or are going through a living loss such as divorce, retirement, a life-threatening illness, a debilitating injury or a lifealtering condition like dementia or addiction, support can make all the difference in helping us summon the strength, faith and courage to fight our way back into life.
Although we may want to reach out and lend a hand of support to our friends, family members and colleagues who are grieving, we’re not always sure of how. Most of us could benefit from an advanced course on “Support.” As someone who has worked with bereaved individuals, families and communities for 35 years, I believe that being there for someone in their time of need is one of the most caring, courageous and sacred things we can do. Let this list of “Dos and Don’ts” guide you to say and do the kinds of things that have proven genuinely helpful to those who are grieving:
Do • Express your condolences. A simple, sincere “I’m so sorry for your loss,” a soft hand on a shoulder or a caring hug are usually perfect. • Be present. Stay in touch even when others begin to disappear. • Show you genuinely care through kind words and actions. It’s OK to also show that you care with your tears of sorrow. • Be a safe harbor for others to express their feelings. Allow them to grieve without fear of being judged, analyzed, fixed, cured, saved or healed. • Use your listening skills. Listen patiently, and ask open-ended questions to see how you can be helpful.
• Give grieving individuals every opportunity to talk about those who have passed. If given the chance, you can also tell stories acknowledging the lives of the people they lost. • When they bring up the loss, show them you were listening, and that you genuinely care. • Ask their preferences. Ask them how they would like your support on special dates such as birthdays or “angel-versaries” (days of their passing). • Stay humble, flexible, relaxed and at ease when you’re with those who are grieving. • Assist them in getting the support they need. • Encourage them to ease back in. In the case of grieving colleagues, encourage them to ease their way back into work a few hours at a time until they can handle longer stretches of sustained activity. • Invite them (without the least bit of pressure) to join you for lunch coffee, or a walk. And now, DON’T: • Don’t assume you know how they feel or what they want. • Don’t put a psychological, religious or spiritual spin on their losses. • Refrain from anything that might be interpreted as a “Hurry up.” Don’t tell them, “Time heals all wounds” or any similar types of advice. • Don’t give unsolicited advice or play “shrink” with them. • Don’t compare your loss to theirs. • Don’t suggest a quick fix to take away the pain.
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• Don’t take it personally if they’re not responding to you in the way you’d hoped. Remember, it’s not about you! • Don’t be insensitive. Don’t allow your own feelings of helplessness, impatience or intolerance of their continuing sorrow to cause you to say something insensitive. • Don’t ask how they’re doing or pose any other casual question. Tell them they continue to be in your thoughts and prayers. • Don’t control the conversation. Let them take the lead on what they wish to talk about. • Don’t avoid, gloss over, act cute, change the subject or pretend that nothing has happened. • Don’t smother them with too much caregiving attention. • Don’t ignore your own triggers. Don’t hide, deny, repress, avoid, displace, dumb down or “medicate” the feelings of sorrow, anger, or guilt that may have been triggered by their losses. • Don’t make executive decisions about what they need without consulting them. (Editor’s note:This essay is the latest in a series from author and speaker Ken Druck, based on work in his book Courageous Aging, which is about how all people can make peace with, and find joy in, every stage of life.)
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Clay Center Presbyterian Manor 924 Eighth St. Clay Center, KS 67432-2620
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Reserve Your Easter Meal Spot
Easter falls on April 1. Family members who wish to enjoy the holiday meal with loved ones should make reservations with the dining services department as soon as possible.
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Milestone for Heather Congratulations to Marketing Director and Senior Living Counselor Heather Germann, who’s been with Clay Center Presbyterian Manor for two decades! Heather’s devotion to her coworkers and residents has been appreciated for 20 years. Let’s give her a round of applause and a big “thank you” next time you see her.
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