Commun ty Matters Lawrence Presbyterian Manor
October 2018
3 reasons to plan for your funeral By Candy Arrington, Next Avenue
Although I didn’t know it at the time, a week after my father received a terminal cancer diagnosis, he asked my cousin to take him to a local mortuary where he made decisions about his burial and paid for his funeral. Following his death five months later, as a grieving only child, I was thankful my father had the foresight to plan ahead, as he had always done for other life events. His choice to preplan was a gift that prevented me from making emotional and costly decisions based in grief. Death is a subject none of us want to confront. Talking about death causes us to face mortality and run head-on into the fact that we will not always be here. Yet death is inevitable and planning your funeral is a lot like planning for retirement. It requires honest evaluation and sometimes hard decisions, but it’s something that needs to be done. Here are three reasons to overcome hesitancy and consider planning your funeral now: FUNERAL, continued on page 2
Friends and colleagues, Kailey Bender and Evelyn Morales
Two members of nursing team receive employee scholarships Kailey Bender and Evelyn Morales, who work together as members of the evening nursing staff, have each received a scholarship through PMMA’s Employee Scholarship Program to help further their educations. Kailey, who has been with the community for three years, is a senior at the University of Kansas double majoring in history and sociology with an associate’s degree in women and gender studies. After graduation, she plans to either enter the workforce full time or begin work toward a graduate degree. Whichever direction she chooses, Kailey believes the time she has spent at the community will play a pivotal role in her future success. “The type of energy Lawrence Presbyterian Manor provides and the teamwork/bonding I have found here is something I’ll take with me EMPLOYEE, continued on page 2
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wherever I go,” said Kailey. “It will help with work-related issues, projects, teamwork, etc.” Beyond the professional preparedness she has received at the community, Kailey believes the experience has had an equally profound effect on her as a person. “I can’t even image where I’d be if I hadn’t been working here—it really opens your eyes to being there for other people,” said Kailey. Evelyn has also been with the community for three years and plans on using her scholarship to advance her nursing studies. She was persuaded to apply to the program by Executive Director Christie Patrick and nurse Luz
Maradona, however, due to a miscommunication, it almost didn’t happen. “I was in Kansas City the day the application was due because I thought it was due another day,” said Evelyn. “Luz called me and told me to get over there and fill it out, so I just dropped everything and drove back.” It’s that kind of friendship—and knowing that someone is always looking out for you—that Evelyn enjoys most about her job. “My coworkers are a big reason why I enjoy my job,” said Evelyn. “Most of us on the evening shift have been here two to three years, so we’ve gotten close. We’ve been through some hard times together, and we’ve bonded.”
Moving forward, Evelyn believes the experience she has gained at the community, combined with her ongoing education, will prepare her for the next stages of her career. “I feel like being proactive, being able to adapt to different types of environments and just being able to adapt to different bosses and expectations, has helped me see how to react on my own and figure out what I need to,” said Evelyn. “In the future, as a nurse, I’ll be able to do a little bit more in helping residents and my coworkers.” To learn more about the Employee Education Assistance Program, and how you can contribute, contact the PMMA Development Office at development@pmma.org or call 800-336-8511.
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1. Rising costs
Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Lawrence Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org. Christie Patrick, executive director Angela Fonseca, marketing director To submit or suggest articles, contact afonseca@pmma.org. Telephone: 785-841-4262 Fax: 785-841-0923 Address: 1429 Kasold Dr., Lawrence, KS 66049-3425 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. LawrencePresbyterianManor.org
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Community Matters October 2018
Each year, funeral costs continue to rise. Planning and paying for your funeral now is a way to avoid those increasing costs. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost for an adult funeral with viewing and burial, including vault, was $8,755 in 2017. For a funeral with viewing and cremation, the median cost was $6,260. These amounts do not include cemetery costs, monument or marker, pall flowers, obituary or other related expenses, which could raise the cost to between $10,000 and $12,000. However, consumers have options. “Charges at all mortuaries are based on operating costs and overhead and
are higher in larger metropolitan areas,” said Glenn Miller, manager at J.F. Floyd Mortuary in Spartanburg, S.C. 2. The ability to make your own decisions Most people like to feel in control over decisions that affect their lives, and often that extends to end-of-life decisions. While no one can predict the time and circumstances of death, many take comfort in knowing FUNERAL, continued on page 4 Like us on Facebook
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they’ve selected the type of burial, location and funeral they want. While many plan to make these decisions eventually, most never actually follow through. “Emotions are the greatest deterrent to preplanning,” said Miller. “People often have the attitude that if they don’t talk about death, it won’t happen.” If you approach funeral planning as you would a financial or business decision, you may be able to get beyond those difficult emotions. Many mortuary websites provide preplanning information. Other websites, such as Funeralwise, help calculate costs. Move beyond any superstitious notions that funeral planning hastens death, and take time to investigate.
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Community Matters October 2018
Be aware that preplanning does not require prepayment. The NFDA provides a Bill of Rights for Funeral Preplanning. 3. To lessen future family conflict If you’ve ever tried to plan a family reunion or holiday get-together, you know suggestions and opinions abound and conflict. When planning a funeral — factoring in intense emotions, personality conflicts and multiplying by the number of siblings — you potentially have a recipe for a family squabble. “Many people are still traditional in their faith and type of funeral they want, while their children may not be,” said Miller. “Children think differently than their parents and often have a more contemporary
approach to burial, funeral location, music and minister. Planning ahead documents your wishes.” While you can’t guarantee family members will abide by your choices, preplanning documents your wishes and provides a benchmark.
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