Commun ty Matters June 2015
Parsons Presbyterian Manor
When Should You Good Samaritan fundraiser – Step In to Help another winner! Parsons Presbyterian Manor is all about family, so Your Parents? it only makes sense that a recent donation to the By Eileen Beal, Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging
A parent may ask for the occasional favor, but most won’t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging. Chokshi, who has been working with families for 40 years, says that instead of seeking help, it’s typical for elderly parents to adapt and adjust their activities and routines.
They do household chores more slowly (or not at all). They may use adaptive devices, such as a cane or a reacher or a magnifying glass. Perhaps they’ve lined up someone to pick them up for errands and appointments. And — often just to please their children — they will wear a medical alert bracelet or necklace.
Good Samaritan Program was a family affair, too. Barbara Journot Milks, the mother of Sarah McCray, health service director at Presbyterian Manor, made and donated this quilt to help raise funds for the Good Samaritan Program. The quilt, titled “Pinwheel Troubles,” was created from a specific type of quilt fabric called “Kansas Troubles. “
Laura Gann draws the winning ticket for the quilt.
We began offering chances to win the quilt on March 1 and received $323 in donations. On April 13, assisted living resident Laura Gann drew the winning person’s name from the hopper. And the winner was … Terry Lillie, the marketing coordinator at Presbyterian Manor!
Laura Gann and Terry Lillie were two of the most surprised people in the room when the winning ticket was drawn.
What Our Parents Don’t Admit
But they usually aren’t admitting — especially to their adult children — that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their medications
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Special thanks
Special thanks goes to Barbara for her labor of love and generosity. We are also very grateful to everyone who entered the contest and made a donation to the Good Samaritan Program.
Terry Lillie with her beautiful quilt, which was created and donated by Barbara Journot Milks, to raise funds for the Good Samritan Program.
God has a surprise in store for you By Pastor Alex Knott
“God has a surprise for you today.” A colleague of mine told this to her young daughter on the first day of kindergarten. Her daughter was nervous, you see, about starting something new and as a way to help calm her nerves her mother told her that God would have a surprise for her that day. And what began as a way for a parent to help comfort an anxious child became a daily practice for a family. My colleague told this story to a
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group of pastors, and I’ll bet that each of them took it to heart. I know I did.
God has a surprise for you today. I think it’s true. I think we have to look for it and keep our hearts and minds open. We so often miss God’s presence and God’s surprises because we have closed off our hearts and minds. We so often miss God’s presence and God’s surprises because we aren’t looking for them. And there are difficult days when it seems that God may be very far away from us. There are difficult days when it seems impossible for God to do anything good let alone surprising. I believe, though, that there are blessings in each day. I believe that God shows up for us every day. At the end of each day you can ask
is published monthly for residents and friends of Parsons Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of
Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. ParsonsPresbyterianManor.org
2 COMMUNITY MATTERS JUNE 2015
God is with us each day. God is for us each day. We have to open ourselves up to receive those blessings. God will surprise you today, and I hope that you’ll recognize it and give thanks.
How to know when your parents need more coordinated help.
501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org.
Telephone: 620-421-1450 Fax: 620-421-1897 Address: 3501 Dirr Ave., Parsons, KS 67357-2220
I find that even on difficult days I have much for which I can give thanks. I also find that when I start giving thanks it takes a while for me to run out of things for which I am thankful.
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Community Matters
Maegen Pegues, executive director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact mpegues@pmma.org.
yourself the question: What surprise(s) did God have for me today? If you have trouble recognizing God at work in your life, you can also practice saying “thank you” for whatever comes to mind. “Thank you God, for...”
or back into things with the car.
They don’t think it’s any of their kids’ business. Or, they are in denial about what’s going on. Try To See The Big Picture
Denial isn’t all on the parents’ side. Adult children are often deep in it, too.
They don’t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. They may resist accepting that familial roles are starting to reverse and that they need to step in, either helping a parent
themselves or lining up support.
If you’re guilty of denial, it’s time for you to take a hard look around for the telltale signs that things aren’t going well for a parent or loved one.
Don’t just look for safety and health troubles, Chokshi advises. Look for things that could point to problems with how a parent is functioning on a daily basis, and also check on whether companionship and socialization needs STEPPING IN continued on page 3
Art is Ageless “Best in Show” Goes to Jerg Frogley
The “Best in Show” winner at the recent Art is Ageless competition went to Jerg Frogley from Oswego. At age 71, it was also her very first show as an artist.
The process Jerg approached with her winning entry in the AIA competition was a colorful one. It’s a spalted pin oak bowl and the cracks are filled with super glue, mascara and eye shadow for color. Jerg explained that “spalted” simply means that the log had started to decay, providing lots of color and veining in the material during that process. As for the makeup? She used to make jewelry out of glue and makeup, too.
“My best friend, Joan Allen, kept telling me to enter the Art is Ageless competition,” said Jerg. “With her encouragement I did, and I was very pleased and surprised with the results. I had never entered an art competition before. I never wanted to sell my work. It’s something I enjoy doing rather than a job. That takes the creativity away if you have to do something.”
Jerg’s life as an artist started in 1973 when she taught painting and art for several years. But for the last 20 years the only painting she’s done has been on the walls of rental homes she owns. “I enjoy redoing houses. If you enjoy doing it it’s not so much work. That’s creating. Any time you’re turning something old into something nice – it’s the creative process.”
Jerg Frogley won Best in Show at the recent Parsons Art is Ageless competition with her entry of a spalted oak bowl (shown at right.)
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are being met. Try to check out the whole physical, emotional and psychological picture.
Also, look for indicators that your parent’s spiritual needs are being met. Many older adults have had very strong and active affiliations with their religious organizations, and it’s important for them to keep those up. What To Look For
The following are incidents/ situations/observations to be on the lookout for and, where appropriate, question a parent about: • Falls, accidents and bruises • Difficulty getting up from a seated position or with walking, balance and mobility
• A decline in housekeeping and house maintenance (dishes piled in the sink, dirty floors, broken railings, drippy faucets, dirty walls, etc.) • A noticeable decline in grooming, dress and personal care • Unexplained weight loss (or gain) • Inability to recognize or react to danger • A falloff in socializing, getting out or visiting (often due to a shrinking social network) • Loss of interest in hobbies and activities • Forgetting to take medications — or taking more than the prescribed dosage • Uncertainty and confusion when performing once-familiar tasks
“I’ve gotten into bowl turning in the last year and a half,” said Jerg. “I also work part-time managing senior citizen housing, and my husband and I have a gun and jewelry store (‘Frogley’s Gun and Jewelry’). We’re busy most of the time.”
Keep in mind that some problems could be due to an illness or be related to medications being taken (or not taken). So, sometimes a visit to the doctor is a good first step in assessing needs.
Another scenario to be aware of when self-care and other habits change — it could indicate the onset of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia. If a parent is diagnosed with dementia, adult children need to be more watchful, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to step in with help right at that moment.
Navigating the maze of eldercare options can be challenging.
Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.
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Myths About Aging, Debunked
By Pamela Blair for Next Avenue To age successfully, we need to be aware of the newer and older myths about aging that our current culture holds true. Here are examples of the myths I’ve heard and what I know to be true: Myth: Old people are depressed and lonely. Truth: We may get sad and lonely from time to time, but the research shows that the least lonely and depressed are older than 75. Myth: Old people have more stress in their lives. Truth: According to psychologists, older people have more stress-free days than younger ones.
Myth: Growing older is synonymous with the loss of meaning and purpose. Truth: Research and the elderly themselves are demonstrating that one’s later years can be the richest ever in wisdom and spirituality. Myth: If you are older and reminiscing about the past or are becoming garrulous about the past, you are exhibiting signs of senility. Truth: These recollections are natural and appropriate, and their purpose is to resolve conflicts of life and to do a life review. Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.
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Coming up in Community Matters:
We’ll be talking about education in an upcoming edition of Community Matters. Were you a teacher or a school administrator? Do you have fond memories of what school was like when you were young? Are you amazed at the changes in schools now that your grandchildren and great-grandchildren are attending?
If you’d like to share your thoughts or memories, contact Maegen Pegues to share your idea.Your story may be selected for the next issue of your community newsletter.
4 COMMUNITY MATTERS MAY 2015