Commun ty Matters Parsons Presbyterian Manor
Coming up in Community Matters:
We will be thinking about Thanksgiving in an upcoming issue of Community Matters. Does your family have a special recipe that is made each Thanksgiving dinner, one that it’s not Thanksgiving unless it’s on the table? What about a special Thanksgiving tradition? Share your Thanksgiving memories by contacting Sharla Hopper, marketing director, and your memories, traditions or recipe may be selected for an upcoming issue of Community Matters.
September 2015
Doris Brenner celebrates 100 years Mother, teacher, scout leader, friend, these are just a few of the titles Doris Brenner has had over the years. Another way to describe her? Humble. She’ll tell you she’s “not that interesting,” but her life story says otherwise.
Doris graduated from Independence High School one year early and was a member of Phi Theta Kappa, the junior college honorary. She went to school with William Inge, and fondly recalls later watching “Picnic” and identifying which townspeople he’d portrayed. She couldn’t have known in her school days that he Doris Brenner would go on to become a famous playwright, but she did always know she wanted to be a teacher.
“I have a love of learning. I’ve always liked to read. I started quite young,” said Doris. Her love of learning continues to this day, as some of her favorite TV shows are Jeopardy and Cash Cab. She began her teaching career in 1934 after receiving her degree from Independence Junior College, and took a pause in 1937 when she got married and had children, Janice and Jim. She later did substitute teaching.
“My first job was as a country teacher at a school with all 8 grades in one room. Of course, I had to have a way to get to my job, so I bought a Model A. My girlfriend who lived two houses down had one, too. We both taught out in the country. Mine was tan, hers was red,” said Doris. Doris’ main interest was music, and that’s what she concentrated on in the classroom. Growing up, they had a piano, and even though it was Doris’ sister who was taking music lessons, Doris somehow figured out how to play the piano by ear. “It appealed to me. I was in the glee club in high school.” Doris was a very devoted mother, dedicating much of her time to children’s activities. She was assistant Brownie/Girl Scout leader and assistant to the Cub Scout den mother. She was also involved with DeMolay and Job’s Daughters activities, among many other things. “When I was in school, she was always willing to drive a car load of friends
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How to help Mom and Dad move to a new home For most people, moving from one home to another is exhausting. Even when we get help with packing and transporting our possessions, moving means changing countless aspects of our everyday lives — from making a new place for the silverware to potentially finding new friends. And it can mean saying goodbye to memories we've made over the course of years. Older adults often have a much harder time with the transition. For your parents, moving can go from merely taxing to highly traumatic. That's when it becomes transfer
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Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Parsons Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of
501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org. Maegen Pegues, executive director Sharla Hopper, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact shopper@pmma.org. Telephone: 620-421-1450 Fax: 620-421-1897 Address: 3501 Dirr Ave., Parsons, KS 67357-2220 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. ParsonsPresbyterianManor.org
2 COMMUNITY MATTERS SEPTEMBER 2015
trauma, also known more broadly as relocation stress syndrome.
Symptoms of Transfer Trauma Moving can result in a host of physical and psychological changes, including loss of sleep, agitation, depression, withdrawal, short-term memory loss, irritable bowel syndrome, loss of appetite and nausea. Tracy Greene Mintz, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Redondo Beach, Calif., who has worked and lectured extensively in the area of relocation stress syndrome, says loss of control is at the core of transfer trauma. “This week you’re going to be at home living independently; next week you’re going to be in assisted living. The abruptness with which we move older people … is very damaging psychosocially and emotionally because it strips the older adult of control,” she says. “Adults want to be in charge of their own lives.” Greene Mintz says the syndrome often manifests itself as pain or fatigue, vague symptoms that can be hard to diagnose; the older adult may say she is too tired to come to the dining hall for meals or in too much pain to take a shower. “To fix the problem, you need to do everything in your power to restore a sense of control to the older person,” she says. 5 Tips for Adult Children 1. Prepare for the move. Offer choices.You might have a parent who is used to looking out at a garden all day, but they get a view of a fountain instead. Rather than saying, “Well, you got a fountain window — isn’t the fountain beautiful?,” ask questions ahead of time about the older person’s preferences, Greene Mintz says.
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2. Don’t assume your parent can’t participate. “Even a person with dementia can tell you what their favorite sweater is, or what sheets they want to bring,” Greene Mintz says. “The details are where you have the possibility of control.” 3. Check in. “I always tell people to ask, on the first day, ‘Is it what you were expecting?’ If it isn’t what they thought, then we have early intervention opportunities,” Greene Mintz says. Instead of finding out what their parents' impressions are, however, too many adult children are busy saying (convincingly, they hope), “Isn’t it great!? ”You are not the marketing department, Greene Mintz says. 4.Validate their feelings. Ask how your parent is feeling about the moving process and don’t try to talk your mom or dad out of any negative feelings. You won’t help by putting a happy face on something they consider sad. Greene Mintz says: “Let them be sad. It’s OK. Just say, I know that this is hard.” 5. Keep the doctor informed. If your parent is showing signs of not adjusting well to the move, report those symptoms — but give the medical provider some context. Explain that the move was recent and may have something to do with the symptoms or behavior, Greene Mintz says. The doctor may still prescribe medications for depression or anxiety but may also recommend yoga or other exercise, for instance.
Copyright© 2015 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.
Silver Sneakers Yoga a Success
Jessica LaForge has a passion for helping individuals find the fun in getting healthy. That’s why she’s so thrilled to instruct the Silver SneakersYoga program at Parsons Presbyterian Manor.
Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America is going social
“Staying active and helping others do so has been full of incredible experiences. I’m excited to see where this love of health and wellness will take me,” said Jessica. Jessica is graduating with her exercise science major next summer, and will then pursue the Physical Therapist Assistant program next fall.
To learn more about the Silver Sneakers program, contact Christine Fontelroy at 620-421-1450.
Presbyterian Manor residents enjoy the Silver Sneakers Yoga sessions.
Jessica LaForge leads Silver Sneakers Yoga at Parsons Presbyterian Manor.
CELEBRATING 100 YEARS continued from page 1
and students to events, especially drum corps trips,” said Janice, Doris’ daughter. “She drove us many Friday nights to the skating rink.”
Even though Doris’ children fondly recall their mother’s generosity of time, Doris remembers times when she couldn’t give her children what they wanted. “They thought I was very strict. They wanted a later curfew. It was much different than what it is nowadays, and what it was like when I grew up,” said Doris. “It’s hard to imagine what it was like growing up in the depression. It was hard to do things you wanted to do. It lasted a long time. I hope we
never have another one. I remember my dad had a little money in the bank, and went to draw it out, and it wasn’t there.”
Although Doris was raised without many material things, their home wasn’t short on love. She was very close with her parents, especially her mother, who Doris said “could do anything,” like fish, cook, sew and any other skill needed to make ends meet.
“We went to our grandparent’s almost every Sunday, leading to my brother and I being close to our grandparents,” said Janice. “My mother and father took Grandma into their house after she developed dementia. Later she
PMMA is now on Facebook. Click the Facebook icon on our website, www.PresbyterianMan ors.org, or search for us on Facebook to view our latest social media posts about all our PMMA campuses. “Like” us to stay in touch. We’re excited to share what’s happening on our campuses!
cared for our father after he developed dementia. When each of them finally needed nursing home care, she was there every day as companion and advocate.” Doris’ love of learning, life and others has made her a beloved part of the Presbyterian Manor family.
“Doris is a friend to other residents and their family members. She has gone out of her way to make new residents feel welcome. She has lived here for eight years, and continues to make friends,” said Sharla Hopper, admissions and marketing director. We couldn’t agree more, and congratulate Doris on 100 wonderful years.
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