Commun ty Matters Topeka Presbyterian Manor
Cards that offer better words for a serious illness By Emily Gurnon for Next Avenue
If you have ever had cancer or another serious illness, you can probably make a long list of unhelpful things that friends, family and well-meaning acquaintances have said to you. “Everything happens for a reason.” “I read about this miraculous new treatment on the Internet!” “Oh, I knew someone who had that same thing and they died.” Emily McDowell, a cancer survivor, has heard them all. In response, the Los Angeles graphic designer came up with a set of eight “Empathy Cards” to be used when traditional “get well” cards just don’t work. She launched them May 2015. Another set is due out in December 2015, she told NPR’s Ina Jaffe in an interview, and available at EmilyMcDowell.com. A Terrifying Diagnosis McDowell learned 15 years ago, at age 24, that she had Stage 3 Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system. Among the potentially offensive comments: referring to cancer as “a journey.” WORDS, continued on page 4
October 2015
Art is Ageless®
Local artists featured in 2016 calendar Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America has announced the winners of its annual, system-wide Art is Ageless® competition, which features entries by artists age 65 and older throughout Kansas and Missouri. Two winning artists in Topeka Presbyterian Manor’s annual Art is Ageless® juried competition will join nearly 50 senior artists from Kansas and Missouri whose work will be featured in the 2016 Art is Ageless calendar and note cards. Local winners are automatically entered into a “Friendship is Ageless, Too” a painting by masterpiece level competition Barbara Fuller. with winners from 17 other PMMA campuses. The winners of the masterpiece level competition are featured in the annual Art is Ageless Calendar and notecards. “Friendship is Ageless, too,” a painting entry from Barbara Fuller, and “Crappie,” a sculpture from David Butts, will appear in the 2016 Art is Ageless Calendar. Art is Ageless, open exclusively to people age 65 and older, is a copyrighted program of Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America. For the competition, works must have been completed in the past five years. Artists not interested in competition were invited to enter the Art is Ageless exhibit only. ART, continued on page 2
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To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact Amber Lopez, activity director, at alopez@pmma.org.
The Art is Ageless program includes art classes, musical and dramatic events, educational opportunities and current events discussions on PMMA campuses throughout the year. To be eligible for PMMA’s masterpiece level competition, artists entered a juried competition at one of 18 Presbyterian Manor communities in Kansas and Missouri. The 2016 Art is Ageless calendar “Crappie” a sculpture by David Butts. and notecard artwork will include amateur and professional entries selected from winning entries in nine categories. For more information about Art is Ageless, visit ArtIsAgeless.org.
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Community Matters October 2015
Memorial Butterfly Garden in place The Memorial Butterfly Garden was established during the summer of 2015, in the Manor’s courtyard near the dining room patio, in memory of resident Joyce Smith. The garden’s purpose is to attract and produce all varieties of butterflies. In addition to enjoying the beautiful plants, residents can observe all phases of metamorphosis: eggs on the leaves, caterpillars spinning cocoons, and watching as a beautiful butterfly emerges from the chrysalis. Name plates are available for residents or staff to remember a loved one. The cost is $10 for up to three lines.
Everyone has a story to tell Christmas will be here before we know it, and we’ll be talking about celebrations and traditions in an upcoming issue of Community Matters as we celebrate the holidays. Does your family have a special tradition? Is there a song that immediately conjures up memories of Christmases past? Do you have a memorable Christmas story to share? Contact Activity Director Amber Lopez, and your story may be selected to appear in an upcoming Community Matters.
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WORDS, continued from page 1
“With time and distance, some people do come to that conclusion on their own that this … feels like a journey,” McDowell told NPR. “But a lot of people really feel like ‘If this is a journey, I’d like my ticket refunded.’” Coming Up Empty To be fair, it is hard to know what to say. When we see friends and loved ones suffering, we want to help. But most of the greeting cards in stores either make a joke of illness or suggest that someone “get well” when the recipient is terminally ill. McDowell said she knew there was a need for what she was doing. She calls empathy cards “the most important things I’ve designed so far.”
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Community Matters October 2015
Courtesy of Emily McDowell Studio
Many Can Relate The cards’ sentiments have clearly hit a nerve. In more than 200 comments posted below the story on NPR’s website, readers gave examples of “helpful”
remarks they found offensive in the face of a serious or terminal illness. Several said sentiments made them angry; others said they appreciated offers of prayer. ©
Twin Cities PublicTelevision 2015. All rights reserved.