Commun ty Matters Topeka Presbyterian Manor
November 2018
An attitude of gratitude November is the perfect time to reflect on our many blessings. We asked several residents and staff members to share what they’re grateful for. “I am so thankful to have the Presbyterian Manor for my assisted living (needs). Most everyone is so helpful and caring. I am also thankful for all the dedicated workers. God bless you all.You are appreciated.” – Rose Hinde, assisted living resident “I am thankful that my grandson’s brain cancer has been NEO (no evidence of disease). I am thankful that he is doing so great with life. I am thankful for my entire family and the love we share.” – Michelle Iott, business office manager GRATITUDE, continued on page 2
Employee Ashley Paulsen is presented with an education award by Executive Director Heather Pilkinton.
PMMA education award helps advance dreams, careers Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America (PMMA) has a long and proud history of supporting employees through education awards. These can be used to pay for college expenses as employees advance in their career field. “It is critically important that organizations have scholarship efforts in place. We’ve been doing a lot of education to inform our employees about this opportunity. We want to develop their talent for the future,” said Heather Pilkinton, executive director. One employee who recently received an education award is CMA Ashley Paulsen. AWARD, continued on page 4
“I am thankful for my family and loved ones. I can always depend on “I am thankful for all my family them. We have a very special bond. members and friends who worked Every Sunday, my mom and dad so hard to get me down-sized, have a make dinner for my whole family.” garage sale and sell the house to get – Laura Ortiz, activity director me moved to Topeka Presbyterian Manor before winter.” “I remember how good my mom’s
GRATITUDE, continued from page 1
MAKE THE THE MOVE MOVE MAKE Take advantage of Presbyterian Manor’s
Take advantage of Topeka Presbyterian Call 785-272-6510 for more information. Manor’s maintenance-free lifestyle—and find more time for what you enjoy. Call 785-272-6510 for more information. maintenance-free lifestyle—and find more time for what you enjoy.
Community Matters
is published monthly for residents and friends of Wichita Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org. Heather Pilkinton, executive director Chelsea Watgen, marketing director
– Shirley O’Toole, independent living resident
oyster stuffing was, and I’m thankful she taught me to cook.”
“I am thankful I have a safe place to live, and I am thankful that our maintenance workers are so good and also prompt.”
– Peg Shrewsbury, independent living resident
– Anonymous “My mother made the best homemade bread, buns and cinnamon bread. Nobody has been able to reproduce it. I am also thankful for my job at Presbyterian Manor. I love it!”
“I am most thankful for my four children. Also, when I was young, going to my grandparents’ home for Thanksgiving meals with all my mother’s relatives. My many cousins were around my age, and we had a great time.” – Greta Bone, independent living resident
“I am thankful for my family and everyone that is so good to me here at Presbyterian Manor.”
“We are thankful our six children, 13 grandkids and 9 great-grandkids are all still alive and are in good health. And we get to see many of them quite often.”
– Bonnie Greenwood, assisted living resident
– Roberta and Larry Kraus, independent living residents
– Donna Abrams, driver
To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact Chelsea Watgen, marketing director, cwatgen@pmma.org. Telephone: 785-272-6510 Fax: 785-272-0496 Address: 4712 S.W. Sixth Ave., Topeka, KS 66606-2284 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. TopekaPresbyterianManor.org
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Community Matters November 2018
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How to have difficult conversations with your aging parents By Catherine Hodder Next Avenue An important part of caring for your aging parents is understanding their situation and knowing what they want. If you don’t know, then it is up to you to figure it out. Having open and frank discussions with your parents help avoid the stress and uncertainty about the future. It is a good idea to talk to parents about their wishes now instead of when they become much older or infirm. These talks will help them plan for future life events, resolve any conflicts within the family, and take the decision making burden off of you. There are five essential conversations to have with your parents: The financial talk – Find out about their financial situation. Do they have enough to live on and enough for the future? Do they have a durable power of attorney naming someone to handle their financial decisions if they are unable to? Do they have a will? The health care talk – What medical issues do they have? What medications do they take? Do they have a health care power of attorney appointing someone to make medical decisions if they are incapacitated? The aging talk – What happens if they need significant care? Do they plan to age-in-place at home? What senior living options should they consider? Like us on Facebook
The end of life talk – What are their wishes when they have a terminal or end-stage illness? Do they have advance medical directives or a living will?
who they should be helping, not the other way around. Try to feel out the right times to talk about healthcare concerns and when to talk about finances. Depending on your parents’ personalities, one may The family legacy talk – What do be an easier conversation than the they want you to remember about other. them? What are the family stories, treasured recipes, and heirlooms to Be transparent with other pass to future generations? family members Before you start these talks, keep in mind the following to make the conversations easier and more productive. Be patient Talking with your parents about their future will not be a one time conversation but an ongoing process.You must be patient and willing to wait until your parents feel comfortable. They will need to be “ready” to talk with you or to make certain decisions about their future. The hardest part will be for them to admit they need help and that you will be taking on more responsibility for them. Understand they still see you as their child
While it is tempting to manage all information about your parents and keep it to yourself, you may be perceived by other siblings as too secretive, controlling, or influential. Try to include siblings in conversations or at least give them updates on what is transpiring so there are no unpleasant surprises. Most siblings will be happy for you to handle things as long as you keep them in the loop. Difficult siblings who have contrary opinions can be extremely challenging. But if you give them consistent updates, you can take some of the drama away from them. They can’t accuse you of PARENTS continued on page 4 Topeka Presbyterian Manor
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Topeka Presbyterian Manor 4712 S.W. Sixth Ave. Topeka, KS 66606-2284 Return Service Requested
AWARD, continued from page 1
“She shows a lot of promise as a leader for the future in nursing,” said Heather. “She started in our health care center, then transitioned to assisted living, and is now pursuing a degree to become a licensed practical nurse.” Ashley has been a CNA since 2004, then became a CMA in 2007. “I’ve always been in the nursing field. Presbyterian Manor was actually my first job out of high school. I came back and really love working here. It’s like a family,” said Ashley. “I’m looking forward to advancing my career in nursing but have been taking my time since I have three kids and don’t want to pile up student debt.” Ashley is taking classes at Washburn
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Community Matters November2018
Tech, with her eyes set on Washburn University, eventually. “I took classes over the summer and they were accelerated, which was tough working full-time and having children. I had just finished paying for the classes and setting up a payment plan when I was notified that I got the award. I was very excited,” said Ashley. “It kept me motivated to keep going. I would eventually like to go earn a degree to become a registered nurse once my kids are grown.” Ashley already loved working at Topeka Presbyterian Manor, but the education award was an added bonus. “I can feel the love between the staff—from the administration to the people I work with—on a daily basis.”
PARENTS continued from page 3
hiding something or going behind their back on some matter. Of course, if you have exceptionally difficult family members, realize that you can’t please everyone all of the time, and focus on what is in the best interests of your parents. Keep notes Since this is an ongoing process, when your parent expresses what they would like to do in the future, be ready to record their thoughts. Recording thoughts and wishes makes it easier to follow up in future conversations. Based on what they say, you can figure out what needs to be done and what steps to take. Like us on Facebook