Tirane Trash #1

ww*m$R8ruffi, ruffiwffi_-&$roffi

fuffiE.. ffinil[€@

Effi

-r r{E CRACKED

YET AFIOT${gR, RAr€r fr{/lsq

Wffin#W

e

COURT TESTERS

TAKE O'ER. THE HiLtorileo mr,ecg ANn TlllNqS ARE XfVen THE EAiqE ASF*rr=.

RELIES

PROnEnoN!

lN TH]$ lSSltE ouE oF {!3Tl*rx$ TH*fr*n**

TOCZEI3 NT COrlDC]f, RairEtlrtrusH DtNc Tlil Frfr EElnrlHq HGI*F sunFr NtGt( RArrnn'RrcmE LlTTtl fhrc* RtuNqlrl s9vrF FAtsA Fltf Srgrntl.l $cnrruRke* l'Lql[r cAqTecill$t F*F? btrrll DtvE Nrcr

uc$N 9l!3F! ilcllrnD cu.llgrls

euen-rArr-F*ifti' !,rFenlAH Fcerg*+ PCTE CAl,tpBCr.L-- euieiirA;i iaerna"

fffirffi,srffi-] N I DAT\IIAL,N

;

Y#aWcoO :!$ry tefq ruM Trc Sfrnrre oF l* TlttNqS flr TbnS ffirAJTRy,

*e=f:t? &trT*u

SrlrCrtio

ffi

lTf-

I\J

F-

z

fi 'tr

ftere

Jrn ft Vrtftu l*sre€

c/ € ,ffi

t"

3 t ,a{ {A !a ;2 :{

a

),U F

l*_ {. qe

.3

,,ANq

ofitq r€,?^

fi-dtr g.rr fiJ- Trte qRUNTERT

nm

TD SfiY

4.,dfr$,. -

Fre sf vr? 1 FtEa; $!

To SHEE W

Irve got it together - the first issue of a new ranting poelly ,zire, P"t For those of you who are unarare of this glorious factrlrRAl,In tp""";",1""a, and indeed often spelt"r'IRANA) ls the capital of Atbani"ltn" most ideorogicari|-;;;;---' country in the rorldrunivdrsersolar system (cont.Enver Hoxha's eol1ectecl workb) lir";.i,1, of this rzine,apart from being very on occasions and h";";;i;'"i"t"u'";;;;"-;;" read's it a gootl laughris to showcase"iuy soml of the ngw;;t;;Tpoets who have sent material to rne in response to the appeals on the back of my'albumrin on the radio.Here you'11. find many'different volcesr"or" "l"io"" r"";;';";""s and i."n|"..1 by the desire to put their thoughts on lraper and comrnunicate-*ith """io,r"r"or"-"iii"rril-"ii fellow halibuts.

It's been really encouragi.ng to see how the rantmessage rr""their u"""-"pi""airrg the past year.A1l over the eountryrin places the complacently soft unde::teity of theo.r"" Poetry Establishment has never heard ofrnew voices are matin! tnemsetves are being written about in their local papers - and in the nitional presshearcl.Ran+s€Ts well - and. nore and nore solo (piss) artists are gettlng up on stage at punk and rocka.s gigs,often upstaging the bands whorin our stereotyped rock cultulelare supposed to be the rhigh of the evening"ffel1 done to everyr:ne wtrots taking theJmovem"rrt fo"*,ard;and coura,";e to spotl those of you who've got the material but need twJnty.five-piit" of rennents super La,ger before you can piuck up the courage to ge! on stage (i-";";lo have the s:une problem..... ' now itrs 'rlst eight pints of Fosterso.ro')rf you wriiergo for all the gigs.yol can get: lDrcck si::rs'a:-'s centresrcolleges3your local yiuth crubryour pub'1ic (tr,t ''anyoneconveriienee thatts e::ough about the 100 club)1)lf btoughi us the messagelocal j.tr that rjo can and fu-lc is the ultinate punk consciousness because you donrt need inltrumentsrvans to car::r' anps inrroadiesrbig expensive P.A.systemsrlaser showsrtactieai ;""i;;; explosions on s."a€.e

--_.--:.-I TTnANE TmASH.

,JUST cEn Up THffi.E AND DO IT: Jfl(Jr**.* lnanks 'L,a every*ne who sentI me their words:obviously r couldn,t put ever.ythinq in becau*cs ctherwise this F zine would be as thick as DAS KApnAr.Hopefulry there wilr be fi":.ture i -e sue s t in be*"ween gigs a^nd journalistic eseapades)and prenty or rlom for: one antl ali c o, o r { ALl contrsbutions are welconerso send. them to the add.ress terow along w:'.th any rs:: ..TKS about, the $ z j.yae. ff you need some contacts for gigsretc.rrrr do my ba*i at the same ac':.rtss,

ArTrtA x

Tffim strcfiffi}{0]fiffi 6T spHlscms cROFl* HAR].OY{ ESS]IX CMl

If you're a ranting poetry ublications"-..,.o. ""*F

and./or

a

B 6JR

:

fanzJne buffrcheck

out the fo1-1owi'5

tr

cooi NOfESrJOp + large SAE from Richard EdwarrlsrFlat 5rl66a Ronford jload.

LcnCen Ei 5 4iD.This is indisputably the best fanzine in itre essent iel reading - check it out: "o"ia ""a i"-"'l;"i;;;iy ANOTIIER IAY ANOTrua WoRDr2)p + large SAE from A1 Turnerr2g St Andrews Lan€_r

Formby,Liverpool

Lt|

2HH,

Il0L0T0v OOhIICSr40p + NEW YOUTH,lOp

large SAE from SWells, 2 Ash MountrBradford,West yorks. + large SAE from Swift Nickr26 EIl.a St., Newl."a e.r"rrrreri,.ff .

And for a:r j-nsight lnto the older 3UT STILL NoN ESTABLISHMEM younger ones as well)you could check out NElf DPARTIIRF,srverJr L*prn"i.r" poets (p1us some but usually worth it at 91.50 inc p-l lrom Michael fiorovitz,Pj.ed.mont,Bisley,sirouarcio"""rt;;;i;;.Horovitz has talcen a lot of stick from the Ra^nters - and it is true trrat many of his ideas about poedry differ considerably froa our own - but he has-*oit;a;;; hard over the last twenty years to keep the written and spoken word alive and. itrs significant tt. poetry establishment dislike him as much as (some) ranters do.PersonallyrI'11fi-,"i give-fri*,y

I

i

i{

1i ir tl lj ri

support........j...t

i.'

i1

:r !

The cover

of this fzine ras inspired

and

partly

I:

created by Ranting Richie, whose poem rObservation In A Cityr appears elsewhere.niehie is at present incarcerated in Norihallerton YCC (Youth Custody Centre)and. r'm sure hetil appreciate some fron fe11ow ra,nters/musicians/nusic fans.Write to Richie (Cibf gg nief,"i;;";);;;.y.C, "orrrrnfl"tion

ti ti .:

1: ,i

OentrerlJa East RoadrNort,hallerton Dt6 jNf. And' nowrrantersrrritersrreadersrdrinkersrthrashers and troubadours of &rgland itrs kick over the statues anrt 0N WITH TItr SHOty! AttilarNovember ,8r.

L

ii ii It

-i

J{ II ti

lr

\'

-T+'

This fEf

t-&q//

l./'

//

,/

poem susrs utr) e in f orty € od d. lines, cvcrything I f eel oce{ps@{e*'s***f dgd.igatg it with no rcspcet rhatsoevcr POETNY

This

Itrs It s F

ft

?

DEAD.

I, ,. "

*s e#tfm€€ 6 € s ptrstendirag itBs imPertant' 433 swe,ffiffi*r and bluf f " p*erm

@

930effi d.mwm mms realiee appe&K&xbffi*ffi &trffi not enaugh

This

IS

is r:ront Fith P0gffi AS to ltr. Craig laine, (Ed)

e ##*

@

*e* MffieW sssmething

whe€her At * m w'3r$-ffip#Kixag or screffiffling3 Thfs $xsffiffi €mee n*t have & Sreart juet & miffii-ma} *alculating brain get*ixtffi ewey wi*&a masquerad.ing tricks wlqieh i"t useffi ti"me and time again.

Too ffixenlr $Bffeffis &r€ mur{ered. by posing pens wleich m&ab 3 ike knives @ Penknives Thatvs & m1ewes 3i.teratrY ioke hidis?ffi the ffact that thie poem hras no lifel Thi s g*#isr6"a *slwld be s*r€a^ming 3

\

g

Blos*y Htrue ffinarder at 413 S"nius*f ce and inequality bUt it giVem *XAt n*t A mLfr'mgf'"oo.e.c This peeffi[ im &evaffiuffi It s mmnteslt tm have x?0 relevant content It s $ramt sit't*rag sn thse fence and gf i.t did have & messege it wruu}&n * t ss?ake any dif ference; wkrCI listenm tr* Ps#trY anYwaY? Itts mnSy pr€etrhgng to the esnverted, Poetry w*nub cl:a"r:ge anYthing e those rryitc da net ehoose to Seea:. the.whispers and" screams e&R ig:t*re the t'ruth and rage hy nct eveR cPening the book to se* the s€ething Page s# trffixs I',}Fffi DSESNTT ErEN TnY am* i- !: Uki* -F=Qesl w&s torn LP r burnt , destroyed I It wmw3d. br* s3{*x reeS 3 oss $

e

$

o

becaxamw

Xt

$"i,r'i

r;

:is{}ffi:*

$um-L '::.r*i;.-i#;::t r;

9

ffiag given uF *

give & toss !

PbTER CAHPBELL.

!lo-

do kl4 o*trc'g.,L.e ltne Shqrua r^rt"iot" has becpwtz aftic,cte) F"tpo*t^l',r,*, L^" 1r"t Fa": duales Rsnqe,*b.r fr^^t tr"c v,,r"rruuretr q-D stu/y -l<*ws ,+ fr4 i,aaw *qu v:e* Popiltst Fr-qurcs, ttrwticdta pogulo t^r€^h ; tr^r4 extstd ge<Ns€ of n W/g,.) lv,^^'uo,^ br,r*als rzraleg.) af lN Eflr9 n^e*r. lk.r o+h *t!/*1^l tr^ar(poefu'l^AA h,re.uaarrqt 4 *"t e)*hkv, shndredq trtaccessr,bi Foa* tr*<''t cea !,n peoplt r^th"o t^r* o!^ q cl^gfe^i€J Y"Y)pcact Fto^c fp,,r,. kt^A FeAl- d,p vrt.. ....

C.F-1Qo c^ tarq r^ra+{ l-uxro.Ds a. q€.{r/*(4- cE;{.4ocR^TrJAT(or..l of tp,>t-tral) l* 9*( Pcztann^an@o 11 tr^r. rqk lcr,bo4<t c;'r:.,Jtt buj. dh.,,,r o*eU, ' :5

oq4

I

*

*

'(*.,

*q

d,^re'Ar€

^r,

ph.,. c,ra a ppurra,r *.t ?opvr-rs( raaea,,,r { P" tg:q:S'b711,*',r". ^lTry (rhn.a^trrrtcaf6r ynarcla fiaru;,tft" tt^c'!^^q/,{111^]€aOoacS i^)e ho'lr€ l.o poe^q1 '

-r*--.

Fshbud^^4!,^,h',hel+ ir.. '*" *W s-*ppttrr^o*, cra,A *,W* po€^b,l,l fui*, q4 c^ bL'rch o^e @ ,ua-i)vu+c prss!.tisa;".--. ---'.

FoR Qoo's i+rg - Bil er0-tr oo\dr\,

gle ihC otr..,swra,e

w T**a a-,*.ri i t*r rr*l *l .-.-!

rM{ININE GtrNDM.

Therers a splastr of little to the east of Argentina a left-over of &npire a warned-up rmrtton,'stew

isl"ands

j No more j No more j You see this kid with a skid 1R his l-i"d - a mongol down the drain Y,ru. see this bloke with coke ln his chrcke â&#x201A;Ź a penny for his pain You see this school for fools to be ruled for the other buggerrs gain Eriough I No more ! We t 11 even the sccre and start all over again wirh a Helfare State on a cleaner slate 'f

of stirring battle slogans and headlines all true-blue for our pretty iron ladY rho eounts death a headY brew ttShe t s

But in the aftermath of warfare a greater Britain rose when the people said on the bsnes cf the

the best rnaR alnong

them I "

say -the patriots in the Pubs ttShe gave t em hell , those Ar6i8s-

us killer subs us nuelear rarPorer us law and' order us guts-and garters on page thrree of the Sun'l

she'lL give she'11 give she t 11 give she t1l give

i'Jo more

YYe

t

11 l ead another

A cleaner slate? A Welfare State?

An*tirer way to go? *lr :)fi

Slet's hear it our pretty iron

f

or our

Yraytt

Maggie

ladY

our true-blue , sod.-You leader who counts death a headY brew

said she would unite us she said she soon would blight us if we slacked or blacked the product of her monetarist machine She said she would unite us and virtuouslY smite us if we rocked. tkre new ecCInomy or spat on her boLd dream

She

"

t'{e've got a" woman tc lead us now a better man than msst and every g?ave that a. man has maele sherll better r thatfs the toast ta our true-blue , sod-you l-eader uii.r'deadly iron lady rtrir.o 's proud of Britain now

T.cLARI{E

Maggie keeps her Promises and ldaggie rill Prevail for ghefs made a generation

And-

obsolescent in her trail

So let I s hear it for the leader Ft t s te1l her hor te need her b grrtry rron i-aay who made Britain great again

For Britain beat Old BoneY and. settled. the baloney of frogs and rogs and savagâ&#x201A;Ź who would.n t t bor the innee to the great god of EmPire Great Britainr s sovereigntY

dogs

thin red line of British did help to hold the flood rhen a human race ras burrning in the fat-producing factories of another rnightY fuhrcr who led a nation to the graYe and a

b100,r

Fy TOtrY

rynnr

dead

TOMTfY

fOITEI

HIMOIIR

(fire story of the greatest club

It

happene!

in the

pub-he

by tittle comedism

Fr*th€*r w'pam

€ver

ras joking rith the lad.e

aeking the seafood seller lf he had crabs when this bloke rho'd been ratching him bough.t him a drii:i, antl said rBefore you glass merthis-isn,t wirlt you t,hj"nk.

Irve listened to your jokes-everlr one of them wae naffg but you nention bodily functions and you get a beltry-laugh"r". ftn a talent scout on the lookoutrand ffve got this great iaea that coultl ma}e you rich and fanous by the end of *!le year" Aconcrliar,r devoid of all intalligencc and wiif gllp nceds it-people piss thcmselveg each time you r-"ntfon shifl ilhat's your, real name-is it-ohrthatrll have to be r*anged.i You just rorry about the jokes:the rest'lL be arua.r:g*i" Eoltl on a secrlrve got it-thc perfrct,nanne to eui+- ye:" As from,, this momcnt yourre caIled TOillff T0itS HUMOUR o o * o .. "t Tro monthsr preparation and he played his first, big d.ate: lVest Borling Social Cycling Clubrsupporting Paper Lace, il 0K you bumsrherc he cones-let's have a toilet ro11 on.the Crums

for

T0M}fY

T0ILET HlIMOItnlr

tHelLo, )"adies, gentlemen and. facilities I tltt potty clean rou"nd the U*bend.

f *r "i;l:,e *"isable{i , I t m ?ommy 'Ia tle*

s{uu-=dtsur *

rmei

did the ahicken cross the road? To g'sr, t th* taii*'i": A funny" thing happened to me on the way r;r:r t**' s.,.i".:1,,iro.toiiet:i *d0 you g€t it? I bet you do.',o..| Why

:-'a4\-

O',

&- €-

j

s

$-:

i-

.:

i

{'

I

i

The crowdr applauded every rordhe rent d.owrr like a metal turdl he got bigger gigs in better placcs within a month he tPS on Net Faeces !

Obviously one thing 1ed to the next? through a chain of e-rents he ras flushed w; t :' :,.i He bovled. then over and. raked in the cash by wiping tha bottonn of the barrel of laughs * *, s,; * i Ke was booked" for the Eoyal Variety Perfcrni&",1c* coming 0n after ACam and the Ants he t d always been & staunch B.oyalist and. he sar it as a chance that Has not to i,i:] ,iii,-q,**..1 His n€rves nryere so bad his system uas upser; Tonmy cou.ld.n I t go to the tiilet. 3 o o For three weeks before he ras unable to shit; All-Bran and cenopods had no effect on it r

SG* *sn#

*:ipa-

I

i l

D .

Nothing could relieve his constipationbut being a troop€rrthe shor lmst go on"

ffa1f ray through his patter he ras looking rourrd i;:e ;rowd. rhen his cycs met the Queen'g-ahe ras laughing oul .lc+"$.i The effect ras shattcring;hls pants rerc eacked but the audiance thought it ras part of the aetl Eie borcls had. been erptiad onto the stagei thc crord etoppcil leughing a.n! bccane outragedl flacy thrcr thclr glaaees rithout flnlshlng tbcir iirinks 18o6 offrtorqr-your act stinkst ,stnouting -Youtvc bccn talklng out yonr bun-yourve got varbal dlerrhoea* 3og offrTour5r-y6utre- not rantcd hcrcl lhe r$omJr arord rent apcehlt;the stage rae invaaled a'ntl.

Toilet' &lnoui ras loitlf tAsIEDt

ffiLgewffiffiffi JH , liFtr

b\,$ L-- f ffiw

=EF Epnrtrw

oil(tupon a tn@_:::

tbrl'U F r ffitr" OnS& r'tc€&

edrnrruq YrggftT:ry-ry

nrpe'S reY YTS CE'RTTFWSTK

/c;\

ia

r

ryf€

t. ffim

-WlrF itnq6sftqgr

At{p

, . t;

ri

t/

I loNE s0 BtIltDo.o..o

It ras summerrl rag seventeen and life ras sreet.I wag cmising erolnit thc eountrxr roails of North East scetlandrhaving ilrlving lcssons fron ny father - a General Prectitioner in a'rural practice.we naa rnany tongrlnteresting illacuss1ons on tliversc subJects <luring that July;I was eurious L.ro,r8i'tn be an aitentive Listencr.Xow te oamc to bc talkingronc dayrof rcapons anrt the Grcat larrl eawrot recall.

At the outbrcek of thc

l

rar fathcr

had already stari;ed htg ncAlcal gtud,ics at Aberd.een University when he found hlnsclf in an Arry ltcdical Corps.Iis mcnorLes ranged fron rctrrat - infestad trencheg to talea of rcaculng thc lnJurcil fron behind encny linas ln plancs helit togethcr by thEt sounCcd l|kc netehlootlrstring and praycrs.Each dayrwhole Highlanrl leginents rerc tl;ed out.

Ior could I ever unilcrstend rhy this gentlerloving doctorrry fatherrhed to tatrc the life of another?

Ee ras alonelOn reachlng the top of a steep inclinerhe net thc eyes of a young Gc::nan sold.icr.Folloring a fer secontls of shockert surprioc fron botlartlac tlecd rae quickly done;each reached instinetively for his rcaponrbut fathcrts. reflexes rarc faster.His bayonet dirl a fastrclea^nrquiat Job.On thc ray baok to join his unit'he thought of the Ei.ppocratic oath;he coultl stil.I sec the faar a,nil bcrilde::nent in.thosa hluc Teutonic eyes.Ee vomlteit.Even after nany yearsrfatherre voice grcv hoaree ag he spokc of the bile in his nouth rhilc rashing thc blooC fron his bayonet-of thc hidaouerunclean feeling of having takcn a lifepalbcit in sclf dcfence.Ec ronilered. rhat roukl happen in a futurc rhen nan had no pcnacnel eontect, rith that rhlch he sought to d.estroy.As we talkcilrttrat t,inc res alread3r rl,th us.

Frosr anothcr continent nen can noradays unleash rcallons of ilest::uctlon beyond our kenrtlevastating hunanity;the ensuin'g desolation is not ritncsacd rlth thc nakcd cyc of inventor or instigator.This is called progresol Civilisation has surely moved backwarils since David raised. his sling agalnst Gotr.lath.The short sharp ilelivery of arrow frorn bor was secn to kill eleanly;aftun the Graat f,a,rrmen ea^nc hone linbless.Strect corners rare populatcd rith mcn oD cnrtchcorrnaking musicrrhile blind ex-scnricenen solA natchcs or bootlaccs.Fron thc Sacond f,orltl f,ar there returned to us man vith ncrves shattercd by shclL-ehock froa aontact rith bigger a.nd better bonbsrprovi.ng thc nepd for psychiatrlc aE reL1 1911

1!18

ae phrysicaL trcatnnentiKorea and Vietna,ur thrcr back men Lroken ln body and spirit, aceklng eseape frsn tha futility of war in drug aildiction.

In the pastrformurlae for evqrlasting natorialg havc baen d.estroyeitllttiht lulbs and tyres rhich coulil last forever have becn sacriflced in tha nanc of econonic stability.For whon?Into our livcs has leapt a monster unleashcd by ihc progress of civillsation.The nanufacture of a^r"na.nents ls rgood for the cconoryr -

but who gaine?

it

ma,lce a.ny tlifference to human action lf thc rcsults of gcr:n ncr megatleath vcapon brought inventor anil victin feca to face?

Looktng into the eyes of your victtnrknoring that oirly one of you ce,n sutrvlvet mokcg the killing understanalable if sti1l incxcusablc.Gona is the tlnc rhcn ncn ca.Be honc fron rar broken but proudly belicving in a Just causcrhcaring talk of rpcace in our tj.ne'.Those nen schen-d and hopetlrbuilt a.nd planncd for tbe next

rarfare

f,ould

e.nd each

generation.

No norelEiroshina ehanged a1l thatiBefore modern technology brought us nuclear rarfarcrnen câ&#x201A;Źune hone eager to procreate-to pla.nt the seed of futurc hope ln hcalthy ronbs unaffected by radioactive fallout.Offspring expected to grot strongrbreathing clean airrdrlnking pure rater and digesting uncontarnlnated footl.

Young nen rho fought inr the thirty-nine to forty-five rar a^re now grandfathcrs, fintiing it haril to rationalise the heroic actions of a past rhlclt hae brought us to this hcrc anil nor.0n one side of thc rorkl a rnan ca^n push a buttsn annlhllatir4i his brothcr rithout fcelirg the reig:ht of rcsponsiblllty for what hc has deltâ&#x201A;Ź. tt the tine of ry fatherts death cornputer scicncc sas in lte lnfaney but likc ao reny othcrs he could sce rhat tas eoming as he talked to nc of rar by renote eontrol.Lists of fatalltles flashing forth on a computer ecrccn keep a conscLence nore docile than having tc ritness blooily battle.My fatbcr eaid: rThc si6ht of a corpscrslain by your orn handr:rs *tth you alrays.' fars over territorylfarg over race or re.:sionlTolstoy saial: fthcrc arc namr faiths.but the snirit is onc.in me.in vou and. in e;erv mair.' lnFo ne [qusigF oegbh qidel4^i sri Hunaredt

-

@

PATRICIN MACRAE

-

r

Still Life lhis poet is serious, his verbs are rhis adjectives preeise & unnecessaryihe writee in perfect

metaphors

three line stanzaa Like thisnhe teaches creative wr,iting* there is a right way & a wrong: wayrhe teaches the right wayi he brings up a. collection every few years before arriving at mi.ddLe*age where he has al-ways belong*d" poetry should. not be trivial ised being his reason for breathingroo never trivial ised., it has a noble heart I

\--

& function; he has never heard of Bob hlarley; he l ikes the occasional are haic turn of phrase , calls j.t his poet ie l icence (yor buy it at the post cffice & lvear it around your neck in case anyone finds you wandering

in

re al

wing

ity ) ; the t orn bough , tfre b1 ack irnages are delicaterprecise;

- his

when you see him he t 11 be crouching

posterity hoping to 1et him in before the pubs close & the skinheaos aryive

at a door

marked

sCImeone .comes

tr

€Ah.} ALBAf{iAN A u$nNi tA

*g

t.i ct L

PAT CCNDS,L

*+-,+

CII- I^JELL

t^.)E

(rr AAAA":)

Lt

-

D CAtJ

DRAW ER-

NJ

€Y 'ZeMlR l"tATt.froJ

-TiiIS

IS

Spcl

Skanderbeg Sq'.ate, Tirana, &f

(X*llDGR

g&

rS

1*€ AI-eAlrtlN NATrolnL

:'rEil-;

HERo)

!

Ar-rIr Re4uS'i*

Le t ph*ne? Bver parked ',,,::..r.'' :in-'lerFr * 3 i{ab*id }augh, street piz %& t .ri;r.i*.i't** * s**id fi" retrospective hello ,',:,,,i.' i. ti:'ir { su.btle * that one - He'lley t *;.*-g"'i* uy*e s&e ) Hver pasged eny ',; . , r:,.,, l;

a

g

wla'"

.:

s

'..

' :,:'.:'. ,'-.!

:j-,;:!i-,i

f

,.,.f1.

:

*- $-)

s t

;{ i I,n,

i{{ 0\ tJJ

z\. dtJ tU.

,1

1

3,'/ ,$'r IJJ

n

i'h\

ffi i

f-i*ie)'Fk F

;s

*

:r

d$

r$ 5$

5

I

i #'v$F*%

Te €Su}sf

& ffigq T#hlEAnoF{ -- - , ,' t i

'g"'FqilWafidq .,)-'

;:

:. e ,.- uF#4 I

ia

A€OUT

fr{TroN1 I

FTHE GREAT ROCK

(to

tN'

R0LL S,yfNDLm Maleolm Mclaren the undertaker

of

punkl

The D.J. plays illalcolm I s .top twenty single, but no - one hears the. tribes shout siYrNDL':

as the records on the turntables turn I soweto starvcs.rwhile, Malcorm earns .

You plundered and raped their cul ture, feeding off them like a hungry rmlture then you committed the greatest insult made it fashionablera teenage cult.

-

Buffalo Boy's go round the outdide can t t you see you t ve destroyed the ir prid Their heritage was original and unique

you

stole it, tried to

make

it

e

?

s

chi c,

Since you hit the headl ines your aim ' s been we al- th bollocks to the others, just think of your.self , rn all your dealings you t re inspired. by gresd, degrading, commercial ising these noble breed s .

And since your business

is lining your pocket the Burundi beattll havelto suck it cos yourll look for a new fashion when this one dwinriles Malcoln Mclarenrthe rock Inr roll swindlerl PASSA FIS'rI.

MIlMltr,MUMIV|Y?

lfirnmyrrnunmyrwhyts he got knee Secause hers a hippy dear.

length hair vaseli:,ei :^:p?

MummlrrmummXrwhy does he wear a tCrass' badge?

Irve already answered that dear.

Mummyrmummyrwhy does that boy rith t::e bald head bl.ow into trr:;t Because he's a glued - up stereotype dear.

Mummyrmumrnyrthat boyts not got a bald heal a--,d he coesn,t blow i.nLo {t i:;lg, Why'i Because he's a real skinhead. dear.

Murnqr'rmumqrrwhy did he walk out in disg-rst?

Because hefs not a nazl dear.

Mumnryrmurunyrwhy are those nen over there gi.v:ng: t,hat funny salute?

Secause they're not sussed dear.

Murnmy , mumrnlr , why does that man on s tage en; o ; i-t?

Becauee he t s fan Stuart and he I s not susseC" e j- t her d€?r . ,

Afirmilry?

Yes dear.

Are we sussed?

0f course dear.

Then what the hell are A sr{oRT

$1oe

we

doing

at the 100 crub watching McGINN 'B j.

*._x dl + + *+ ir-gnjrlN' ftoraA LL yE61pE

Ta TTE

sKRlilrfDRrvER ???????

-_

Tl+€ geff TtsrH tr.,t ALeANtA-tS vNDo,,leiiili_V pAerrZarur TtRA^IA , Ci+Arfio$rl l.roF€ Tr'{6s Tuf,N n^r,r_srnie sroE r^rcgsr ciriut^4,.s SOurr o( l+E e*fiu cree r& iniiqe r,gnr* so€s, _hrHrcr{ Hs*i}r t?

NENfoRl l+ Nou€n8",<-hrq pr.rmo,eo"rii

fi^rJt*;i_alo

#_hr;fi; H*;7-iraar^ ei.ros Llqvt+*ev rtrgxl Plgrr?/tilr 8o.6, otng1c TEnrys r^tilr& ir -o j KSEI r5lfffr+llffi g i *''r o' o',i;Ei" aa;",. s i*o L ^r "A?T*rfroq Agorr.-OTI{€K5 lnaFr.rtt ArE^l u..loefH ^r,r ___ -. gY -,ttE

J

)ii

i

TW F*st ft'oo ?*qe o-e.oTgco €l+*rnsrosg tt*ssncnr I NnrkrrQ (ouNo T8g sl+Ew6s ?*cxro ruffift coi.{r4oorrY Qooos Buy NEr^r, ll,t?*evtu soAfl spo5 Cv9.;qlF.D Btr'$S nr"lo Trr0S oF cHlc(Et]

Puf{lnc SAqs brlrTri Pr.lslt flAm rnt F*es* aoDhf F€oM A Pg.D{€SslNq Pi.dill'f Fttt+oF c]+ea1|llfrLg, vots ort

cALoQ"tEs

Aogcrs t^llTrr r.rc N*srt ffigfs /til.lD h,HtSKfu 'tu you t N *E€24. CoNril^EpS FR,BH /*.rD rNPRc'rlfi FUtt oFLotrNlfRY qooollEss Tnrqxrs To Tt+E cl*t.rctrt-s

P*txro

BV

T<on T*e i.c.,- LoHPAiJt€s lou'tr l+t &eonE vrcTrds oFtt+G t;YSLa c t|firnlSfoR€ \1.ASSAIPE 4dO tr's (6T rn) Ti+ER€ h}rft{ youR HtrAL TRcrJeys

tsU{ rN( FooDS,Ygur'Bg, .g/u44cxdJN(. poisorsS (ltFurc*t,y BnsFD fuisor.rEp hr4sT6 CHf,INS{ORE F<OOS FNT# A NEd Aq6 wrfFt Nehl lr{PRouFD pRof6rs-pot^lg4ip u+ilt{Al cot tNsrtnooFD\lHpt^rq tT tN 7*€ Sen TttEt'r/E Htxm tT wtTt+ cle.,{uy

Aw9 Pg1 iT u$ Trr\tS ArNo S€I.L IT IN T€S<ps ftS LoI{PIETE H€ALS cos trktwe4a fi ctffif go Tr+€y PorSor,JrN\ T rt€ M,4SS6S tAlHlLe S*qrrNq A pRotrrr

--.-,.

,JAs-(€

tLl guy lr'

A*O lo*rtLL N6;6R Gg3tf€ You hiox'rcrEt At^leq

F€str{ T{&g

-T'#6em

F4*ssnwe€€

cb*ffitn}Sy*"ag

Ee_

BV qrruqe* -{ottrs TLt€ 0oor{go4y &HHrqNDo. (q,ru(€R iottN i{ds A goot< CALtFo (RA^lrt{4 ' 0N Tr+g SARRrc,*oFSr hvfr1t-Agl+ SoR, 4op F€or..t 5 t!ffct+ l4pACE,UNOenguFft: Rcnto, g %{FRO, LIHsf .fodd,

+,K*,tr{\

eoRPoenre oenrH (ueqeR b1 0AvE

"F

,T,nk'3[:? h"rlr"re bs^d Seerd CrpS

goff\L$

-1;ryrr,HE AS Hitl-ioeJ$ SrA€v€ FNla FeoPitS E-EnR tN(€.ffi€€ YsuR s{a.lc}+r\q F*€{s As r&ffiv EH il+ s*'r TFr€'t TR1 Tc} rrc*W TFfl -dN€ PuAs Trc ctffi ies A,+Jo s}+fl*€s Te $+€*e tT Atl qc 0c uJr* foH-uTnrl \o;A Cr+1L0RFr{ k}eTs* UgS fo*o TeYi*E ac CsfTe"r Y0VRTFI'AA F{nro

c*ffifu#"Aq€ DffTtiBuRq €<u flsMAa_p

F,{{Do|*)A,,{_D

gHffiq# F€€il g,,'R Ftu'€ fu*KLeS ffi#6€ lN g,-ooo F{A}€

6q Yerug S€-uL EtmgsMS

CA*Eg*6UE€I y*4"R

Rorufn-O u4uq*S AS nu-LtorrS lrr/Ft)€

o pRoftTs Fiffir'r-r^lcrase @tNq tLL *lourR qR*f,.t r, AwS _ D*o cltruoRgrrt Fsr $r ffic€ Ant

r-

Ttt€ STFNlct{ 0F Fpuxrl+ts €eTfirt', SHzuS {u$f, Llre nSH Ftter !

You R Stq N N Eq uQ.s, fo u-; ^lTro*l hFT Y Tttor,rSlrr.l O ga4fr.€O ToOAy gsRfue,frr€ qelT*tsrP4e,

Roilg-o ela*.#eo

(otoEFs Me"ffiffis Aruo Ro^r*Ls s*{iL&s

HcDerurtr-o!

Yo,l sAy Yout RE Cl+*,tsTrltrJJ gr;r

\bv\k A F*re

Htlt..frt.lATroatft-S oN -fHtC fAre

Srrf€vrn$

c*,?

FF

y 0f9fr6

ffi

$qsffie#€s

P^qE TRRAFTTERs wAI,tY }ISCC KID ( y ' got

T+$€'Pffi*fi

l

ta get

o& dorn

Berreerca frerr €&ltats

w T$$6

I tm a wa1ly disco kid pW@ with the wally,lisco sickness PSon-* hsffi f ve got wal ly disco shoee &s%s &€ & FSc.} sF y'know the ones that look like slippers FtV ffiWsw&$y& rr**w&&. f 've got a. wal ly d j"sco girj-friend disco hair lF tmw w&eey ys ytr{ and wa1lyjob I have a $s I can buy &wq & @e*wsv,R& the wa}ly disea clathes f wear I tm a wally disco ktd &ug Wmwgg***;* I go to watr- 1y disco places to dance to wal1y disco records Am*'s *sru&ffi#s* with the other wally disco cases

N.f. tOhtDoN) Pau{ fbtr€stoNe ASrl c€ffiA{ ftol& fl€Jurth(b$ ACns &&rsfiourfH frtS M&sToNl (fot^lru f

o

f

or 6qr g?os_ jr"i"ir;"lll":*; IfDy CAff (nflo

It,ffi6 #sF

attitude

Pret-rp"g nf #&*

wa1}y d.isco, tuonaay

BtailrN4u{x ercHn"4 #il"^rfr*1,lr"i?rffi '

9y

ozt 41q f

( (?nrU1

iSi

;i#r:3"r, ,

rorlow

At'rC I'LL

lrfl,

ri+ri

iirsJl

;1,il"1'LiiiT,3::";iil"",

p{?RO JtfipCUrB l.,lcK o86s

+rs4rg

round my

rally disco teeur

ZSrif )

CAN.rDr

TRy

(t

r.trcK

Toazer

.

0BvlousLv l-h4uzu'f

.

r::;:

_

Eere,s an untold story i1. iact one you,ve never ;ieard

Plfr?iltf (Of nt€'

prrn.*:s'l*Ii=;;lil*d:ff FNqurRr€sl ?{_uiil:

;Xr"*;:i ;*i"'"""T,"* .. ...a ,ou,'"

v

[; I $

$

!

I

fi1.

NoRrl{

$W{SPS

fuUt-v

s

lr.rcLuDffi AUU Trre Roex utrrl,& BW yOU CAN qef

''_ ffJi['X:ff.

lerlc*ar€r uNt b.snl T{,t;i::i"r:::.:"lill"the.bend. uo'i 9q5**Hd*i'u.r,,lerlrt j,".'iio"ti.,s like n

so

conridence

mo.*r*) ofinq pcAc,, NBr{6 rygi??,?H LoNEtY lfYt'q$Ng AONN 1^;gtt

+rtou lm

f+€1,p

;?i*'".;:iir"jl3::n3;:,,

r voteii rory ror a 5*Nf-F(ANks lqy( 0232 B03oal ""iir"it""o Fovernm?nt. fiL06RStUf N6Sr F-rO Ch.ilRE ArO .

s

0w rc t+ffi€

all tha wa11y d.isco fads lP3t^ll(ll *tllgil HI11S I c" l:" wa1lv disco holidavs

101$

Le

Cr+S{

vnnrewl i"ilil; t" wally disco peter por

TOil Ot AIDV 01.{t?3al6,on --

,)

-' '|'' r rm strarrd.ed in the bog. . . . , .

-

pArie<s_

QoO0 l+\J^rfl Nq I

B**qrR w$sgwsr{v Tl.r:i:*l*.;l}*"*lu'}ffi me Kaff UFlg\$&*,SfrTV r wonder if retl ever find BtfStoL \rr{t#F&Sf;t-V that shithouse in the sky. r know |m not sood * ]otkins; H|ggLSJTX pegs

*u"d

gltlr*rq**r,r i"iloJ"Sfil;;i-il":#i* tJtrllffigtt* HnlN^q*{Fl e or a sausase with a tan. ...

FURRS{ UNNFg1l1rt' So that's my untold, story; qreeTss$gual j:::p*:?:e_t1ke mr__y9ra rNP l-€A1' F€sr. lll: rrr'{YFeruKr rNA rt's rorse reiry a"vop -

Sfm-,UgfiTl,-rn';;-;in'

!!"nBErNc J.B

^

*'j***'N

A1e 6OoO.

sprKE Rn.rrruit

Seg r NHAI DtD

I T#LL Vou

?

Tue BnsrARDs qeT EWRYN RUssIANS s.1s N[.w$ is published fci'inrQntiy by Enrployee Publica{,r+rr$

$ectiono Centra! Persottnei Department at STe

*{euro (Temple Bar 8055) and aii communications should be addressed to that office

EDITOR

f;ussians

CHA5.

at

R. SAU[-

ffinNffwwtrr

IN

HCPE

MACDONALDS

Startled shoppers stand and stare in the burger j oint in Leicester Square a cold Siberian close encounter Muscovites behincl the counter and Georgian ladies w i th mass i,re hi ps

serve Breshnevburger and double chips 1-his is the Kreml in ' s latest plc,y a di f f erence at $iacclonal d s you t I l- REAtLy enj oy !

The harnmer and s i ckl e above the d oor says Yanks not weJ eone any more no more piped musak oh so rl j re now t:.€y rve a fu}1 ted Army choir tne KGB are eat ing i"n

they're kicking up a fearful din the door guard bellows 'SHUT THAT NCISIIII the commissar says tpurge himrboys,,c.r,. rt a

The stars and stripes hang upside d.own the Queen is green and weara a frown but Lenin hangs there high and. proud

staring at the burger

crowC r . . .

The Arneri can Secretary of lef ence ( a rfian whe eauses g:re at of f ence ) is rnineed and" served with garl-ic cheese I cos Casper ffeinburg:ers really please I The Pentagonfs in disarray the news has filtered through today and Alex liaig looks really vexed '?

'The Leds '11 have the tYimpys next: ' And here's more news that t s really hot; J .n . Rring is a" Trot j Neil Diamond fs playing Angola and ],iarx invented. Coca - Cola! vfest ern values fade and die as led successes rnul tiply

Arthur b:iller isn't dead hers writing radio plays instead and as the bastions erash and fall here cones the latest 6l-ow of all; it took a long time to deduce but Reag:an t s really. , . .Lenny Bruce I

h

ILA rHE

STOCKBR0KTR

TrRthilt's dRar RrrlAu3, ilTrtg3 ulG WECE 0RAr^rN AqnrNgT UNF1ETD, T$6 HoSf , lN Tt+€ 8'JfoP6f,N CuP. TH6f Nou ohl Ar^rAy

+ffs t *fi',slu?wo, filfs{Hl

s.t* t

SI'BI'NBA}I

DNEAMEN

rere a dreamer thenrand yourre a dreaner still of a skin rith tine to kill The rorld is full of rasted Lives and just as meny na6ging vives

You

Youtre a raste

...a.raaaa

you were at school you wanted to m1e the British &rpire but, farling that yourd wear a brass hat and sing in the army choir 'Fith your dreame of bei"ng a big film star and yaur hu.ndred, foot long american car But back to earth with a bang ycu ended up &s a litt1e tarc - man and now your dreans are fes and far betreen and you can't undeistand what your

"*Then

by calling you her dozy - dick and insulting you and your litt1e limp pri*k But you say rlb,r1ing when we win the football pools we'll 6o to cha.mpagne parties and bd high society fools we'11 wear the latest snobs' false noses havd our pictures taken in k.inky poses and then to satisfy my fantasies werl1 tie up and nolest your 1ittle sisl

rife

Materialism is your curserand with your dreams yourre getting worsei you dream the world is yours to use a seething: cess - pit of debauehery a.nd sexual abuse you dream you own the eiffel - tower and notre d.arnets bells and liana Dorgf tits being sucked by Seething ltells fifteen footbailers frol Dinamo Tirana and the whole population of fuckinr China A pot of ernbrocation to make your cock get harder anii a spider with no lcgs cal1cd Douglas....'.Douglas Spider.

'vff always maintained what ybu would' do i f t-t* proletariat voted f or You y;::; f;rl-e-i. d ws&r your patent leather jackboots and click your heels together nair-e 3;arnpshades from Communists and control the fuekin I weather Yo*'râ&#x201A;Źr & we,ste of the air you bother to breathe i:.;nuu ll"ike the gutter a press Sun you always believe you're *ontent to stay in your little rut anC siuff obootifult turkey rolLs in your overgrorn gut sit '*ack and watch your teL1y in your carpet slipperct Ch-ristmas Sift from Auntie Nellie rand six small srnelly al ppers .

Materialism is your curserand nith your dreams you're getti::g worse Y

must

rnean

ou

youtre a drearner stil1 You're a waste of a skin with tirne to ki11 of r^agging wives t, he worJ d is full alaao'a for every one of those useless lives.

You were & dreamer then?and

SWIFT NICK

*NEil FLAMUJT E REVOLUCIONIT E TE FI, TOREYE TE POPULTIT TE UDHEHEOUR T{GA PAR,TIA JANE MISHERUAR }IE R,ADHE TE PA. RE GJAKU DHE VEPRA E DESHMOREYE TAilE* EIIUER HOXffiE

ffirsTr lr$ BM lrlewlr'lPY

;'fftA!

/ {-;

T\

o e4fi(RfiAf

S,Jtsqs o9eN t#lR. PftrJCe $r^}iG "{\tL FF.'T fubRrhr [tl

ffioF{Yf 'r[e"

qrun:A*

,t i}

,A I ;i

rv1

EV E

U

t,

?4PN

::, r

,ffi

ruffig&

jn irtr*-#

ilm'ffial

m*{i}titt{li-l wffi ffijh{trre

wruffiffi

Hlrrm

ff

=[ -\

w

*l :

ffi

ffi€

rFF

Ey,nE rnna

w>'i meN!

"na-

fl *!L's ltfi& rfitfipsrlaffiE

]".z ffirtr,ffiHt#tr

s# :i : i

t_

rtVYr;;*l!*Mri$i*i

rlSrttfl,lte tl[F

ffi _

l

@

A}ID R NMATE RENbITtoN OF

NEUJ - TttE afl^oiT6

-

\

f

I

ffi #$$fi*T:

ffiAl{fifiA Mr|pl, il

irurnPyt A qAtqr

fft ryd

WFW

tfifinRo tcr.aifqAilr

rv1nq,N ^fr4ictttr

!,4

1

4

'ffii-l re ffiHslEj d f!')

nfi il rlF o

ffihFffi^il:l,' i srT ftt-lD hrnirc{

T*Ei opERnrE N t{uEn FKtNFlgN

T6ffiLLr I'lE A ''.-a'*-*#

ATID

iHry{ME HARD SMILE.'.

&ffiv Not^t

THLyvE rHE

PRICE. OF ANOTHER

-ntBE,-lIfY^'RF.,-, ? nnprV FoR A h,ryLE-

[ rtrnPy A$lr

Bf'N{i 5t++€f b3 r ir&fr $*bs '8Eu.i4 st+o[f ?$*t-t-Y 0or.r\T MrND (T's oFA A Btt P'4lN Sorf e"ftF{ES l"tr+vrNtq as sNrM 111'3.oUqt{ A PuDoLe 0R C.A|.€EWUL{ AvototNcr lt DRnrl lN Tl+€ PgB Yor.,t LUtl8 0N SoHEoNE'S Sl+ouLOffi Bflex*to sAyt (uau€ gAck Nt+€N you'RE ouDre' ciles ffpM 'r*1 s7 3re1 - 'ft€Y, sHoetJ I '

I

"

oR (rroK,A 0I^IARF rutft{ SplKy p4re!'

WElu, I q€a lmLF PAC? BuS, HAf€ rtttro t'M NoT A ohlARF, So rncp6!

NHo NANTTS To g6 TALL/ANVIdAVl 8a..ro tdtlf,lJ you NALS TH*.oqrf A p41ogHlvrr.tCrfo t ro RA{krE€ srA-{ sHoeT Aruo r,o woeeirg-r*rr..rq Aso r'M trr-arAY S Ttl€ HRgr To FrNo CorNs oN Tr+€ ft,r.ce Yotrr B€ * fALL You 661ou rrExf r^:trK\s urrFflTlttR-I Sir P?oS€ yod TH rrsK Jse, &€ CueveehEltt rFM NoT qotNq To CaHPLAI^J: Your BE ttlE P'RS1. To q7t wel !0r+€-r$ tT goES sTAer To RArh,, 8ur You st{t€uo -r*E suN idt{fd tf coHFs or.rf AqAtr).. _,. gNE Tr{lNq i8our Brrr.rq s*oRr: Qoi^{ sh}rHHtruq,s q Rrhi,* A S€fcrruK ip;*u9 Buuq*r'vp *tL-rrrt 'aoniS t,_J Tt{€ pool * faltr''e A Freftrt^.lh{o ru€€oS To Sr^ilH?, -e rtocL Kros A4E T\IF.+E HAKtNq A Diru Il+E 1EACW, AsKs r.{e w*osg'cr*s tArt-t lN}.- -.. friosi{oeT -rAo.to t DoruiT CA-qE ArN}yHoe€.. !,* l'H No L€SS Tt{+^} Yo r,t .

t

BA**59 t'tq Nffi

-ftlE FuooR\

X-x RoqR- bq Seeh^r''1 oJeus ?qq de eqercalfb.de

I t

i I I

I

CaruT

{ac*''t1alt

n" cetlerdh,an ded,qr-ee p6"cl g CrwPLS suprgfie chcrnEitn El*.rn€ -rrrrlrur *I o ci t"r%IS F"^r snAas ah) tt'stepn ct.t,fs hiS .reE c)ultc chra.Ja-tep hlrce o o€€k bg5to,v.d p{qcrrxr4 knti^''' ;i;"[-.*t "rh'.-;L[t-Se- -'ios^Hunnn5lr"naos ?nJ't^lUfe Roqerqto"iS hljl" culie t"eaf fi, monr1l tT^ ftan" e'gSf shlv* ' [,.)eeth., accr^nn-,rldtgs - Roqer's t^pctl" hla ulaqnf rh gotd - .. - Bqf Koqcr qor RA816t-"Roqes we:* HAdt, -S&d to i€rdt3 fuaJ |rvr.orrtti blaU r*aLa bwots n^a't1 t'Ihlr' W's ViAL!! "!;' tCo** l,\.e.t, Reqer! H,*tn -.t scleb n rn

KoqE*

'gt+

oF-F MrJ'Mr-iY

's l{#D I

GUTTES PNESSi.

E...

Peer undressesrbishop confesses torso wrapped in rug

-

Girl gpide throttledrbaronet bottled J.n,.goeg to jttso ., . o O

But yesterday I s story I s old and hoary never mind rho got hurtl no use grieving,let t s get reaving r Uhat

t

s the latest dirt?

Diplomat spotted, scout garotted thigh discovered in bog lYrecks off Barmouthrsex in Yarnouth r, ITOU.AN IN IOVE TrTH A DOG I Eminent hostess shoots her guests; Harrogate lovebird bui.lds tro nests. e . . . o BUIL}S T!{O

NESTS?

U,

Shall I get a picture of the lovebird slruilng!!

Shall I get a pigture of her pretty llttIe egg:s?

Shall I get a picture of her babies?

NO ! GO AND GET A PICTIIIE OF HER. tMS!

+

I h

Beast slays beautynpriest plays cutie cupboard shows telltale stain mate drugs purserrdedn hugs bursar mayor binds wife with a ehainl Elderly monliey marries for money jilted junkie says I f rant my honeyr

i

F t I

: I

b

l' l

WAIVI HiY HONLY?

Shall I get a picture of the pollen f1ying?

Shall I get e picture of the gpl den dust?

Shall I get a picture of the queen bee?

NO ! GO AND GET A PICTURE CF HFq BUST !

Judge gets frisky, nun d,rinks rhisky baby found burnt in a cot Show girl beaten r duke leaves Eton NEWSPAPN MAN GEIS SHOII T I

Att THINGS CTEAI{ AND FIESH HAVE MENCY ON YOUN SOUI

I\,IAY

-

rXD Gn"mI

CONSIDM YOUNSEIF PAID

BY TIM HOLE T}M BULLET MADE...OO'O}"I'OOEO

Stephen Sclnrumn

v

ff*ffiKffiY

gs

ffie%#

,- f::es* &râ&#x201A;Ź g*T1Hifi8*tmk*n fr*m a h**X *f" Alf::':'" - :. i,3.E:d i.,qlA rts+F *1-l;* "f{aeemsni * } tss t' t*Yt,l*n }tt' ** 'i

c,n tub# * ri:;T.tl, rig;,ht **ws? LCng Ae're Sa's t' t'hs: : -j l:k t:i<, *ohen turn i-*fi, ;Lt *hry june t ir:lt *f L. fit':i '

-ii':

i.' 51i;. r':l

u

'J'i1r''= s;**"* *r ihir*. tl:rr:f ng #R "*ii* i * fl"i i',: s t ffir: , .n S,;\'*:f,*. b**k*?:"*p in Lancien e i* & ' p t. eon"e . L*:s3.ish servj-** sf Res:-,:: Tf $,r:;:.r:a

*;;

n

l

'-' ,: :

.'^.iIRGE*:iS

Agn*li .:

]

l'l

*-t

J-

.i--

-

.-.

:,

cv*r

*

s*

i t

-p:=*as i:*r"i z *n;s

*retly i i<e a * o1 f u

P,*'

the

.

gei' *

$

e":-tn ASbar:i*"n l ight " iFasiii eanai i

-i"iT:1F

- .:.r;r:":aiffi $tai ii-r * - *f & *{i a"a&r# ,-

,-

..1

fr-3;'-r;S '.r.li',i t11'i"3i.1llef 'i. -r. t i i iigfn ,.;

.; i:l'.--*--* ,'.

r'

f ':

* "'i |.1wn ?,=:': )iI we]1.' i -l'.1.i;.;:,l-i'i, r."," *:' ';:: - i iie*r: . ;'}laEn ill rt ,< +- a f': :'if ''i.

;l

'

-staficn hydrn*.i:

e;?:l

*--;:: of lcwer ,1 i.'

OBSEnYATION

IN A CITY

Itrs & wet qindy night * who gives a shite? not the Pubtr-ic in Public bars or high speed freaks who drive for weeks in souped" uP rnotor cars o e o ' as the rain csmes ,d.own in buckets on the town someOne eagerly awaits & trainl it's freezing cold and, 10w and behold

the bastard?s late againooo'o Stapding alone observing the gfeen cross cod'e r & young girl gets the nod itts a tenner a tlme and youtre next in line yCIu dirtY Perverted old sod !

In a tonlly cel1 it's lone1Y hell as another gets the feel" of a cosh it's a harsh regime that goes unseen but the blood comes off t with a wash' " ' In some d.ark lane there s a rnurd'er again or & stabbingrmugging or rape a chronj-c mess; have you an add.ress in this vast urbam landscaPe? Bown by the docks, the sourrd" of padlocks awatchmanehecksawarehouse; a burglar arroed busts Ia burglar alarm hets a mouse...'.o s0 quiet youtd think I s mist on the Thames t; threre It 3 *r, a rat erawls d-own frorn a wa1l ; the e ity ' s al ive - it goes thrive , tbive

,

thr ive

:

HCWLOI{GBEFOREIT'TILLFAIL? Lanl 1:rg R. i chi

This one should provoke

some deba"e

e

- Ij! :Y

Tim

YTAY

I

AGn'EE WITH

IT (t(;,'

bend are too clifficulltrthey drive yc:r round thefriends' all the issues,and help our furrv #;;"t;;";;p swings through bone' The tanks ro11 through the tower blocks,a truncheon a home' cal a Yourre ruru:ing round in circles trying'"o firCand jails i""au are Uanling bloody in the mentaltohones save the whales' yoo ir".r".r't ti*" to worry as you nish Front; Boots batter bLack childrenrto shouts of liational hunt' nastv countryside to stop the t;;;;" eycling to thetransit resist; to va.ns;the kids start tior"""""teapJ frorn pig and call t'hem speciesist' a cop a call them you hear helicopters thir" ' the jungles as in burn i"ir.S""" rcos theyire not covered in furl i"l-iir"V donrt t";ii; suffer I{iimans

allthosestarving*iUiott"-ugh-theylooksoblootlyugly; cuddly" "' they might get "oi" of your petiood. if they felt a bit more There's IEOPLE d.ying eveqr clay in srithes of agony sympathy' while the seats L"a"ao." ana crr:.ctens get your misplaced attack?

So you clon't like what Irm saying - all unjust-i-fied

FUCKoFFANDHELPTI{EANIMAI,S-lHoliElIEnANswmBAOK!

! i

tBet Lynch t

i

fj

I

t

Tm

DAY IHAT THE

rtU'sx

IYON

Tm

EIIIOPEAI{ CUP

(A

tribute to

Col-chester Unitcil)

This is a ronantlc tale frn going to tell though it happencil last year I renenler it wcll Yes it reaIly happened - IIn not naking it up It ras thc day that the rrUrsrr won tbe European Ctrp!

Their nanager Cyrll Lea used tactical preclsion to ta.Ice then fron the fourth up to the first tlivlgion

bypasslng Peterboroughrllartlepool and. Crere anel beatin6 IpswichrArsenal and liverpool too.....

And you rnay fin<l this a bit hard to believc but thcy thcn went in to win the Football League!

In E\rrope they walked over every tearn that thcy played.

Dina^no firana anti led Star Belgrrade They thrashed Juventus rith a six nil rin and reached the final by beating Hertha 3er1in.

Theit opporents in the final were Inter Xilan,

-

a b',mch of garlic eating raviolis rnanaged by a horrible who laughed at the results of our Essex heroes,

litt1e

na,n

saying it ras all just luck

that his part - tine tearn of fiat rorkers would. snatch the &ropea,n Cup. 3ut Cyril Lea ignored himrand manag:ei to keep his cool and convince tha lads from Layer load *,hat they had nothing to fear at a11...... and

the teams kicked off the atmospire:.e ras tense but urged on by their fomteen fans tne U's blitzetl the ldilan ilefence and late in the second half the ball thundered. into the net but d.espite csri-es of triunph from Colchester fans it ras far from over yet.

Cos eleven irate ltalians had,surrounded'the refrclaiming their goalie had. bcen

lYhen

fouled,

and under pressure from the suffocating sncll of garlic the goal was disal1owed.

The boys in blue were flabbergastcdrtheir fans about to riot but a^rnid thesc scenes of chaos one nan remained. calm and quiet...

Cyril Lea ddnanrlerl that before the rlst of the gane be played an appeal be sent to the trlrropean Court of Hunan tights over in the fiague and rhen the appeal ras ngtted to Hol"land the jutlges werenrt to be fooLed for they were all gecret Colchester fans ancl the decisisn ras overmledt The 1""'"' t.is rastarted with all eyes upon the ref and as he raised his whistle to his lips the'whole rorld heLd its breath..,.

A piercing shrill and a miighty roar arnounced that tine *as up The impossible had happened;the Uts had won the E\rropean Cup! The Queen sant her congratulations.antl Jimny Eil} faintetl when he hearrt the ncrs that the greatest prize in Europe had been won by the nighty Urs. And when Tony Adcock collectetl the trophy and held it a-bove his heail I junpecl four feet rith a jubilant cry - antl then fcll out of beill I

Yesrfol-ksri,rrat fa.nous victozy was just a silly drear! anci lo*chester Oniied are still a fourth tlivision tean.

I';.'i, oesDi.'-e the disappointment that I felt rhen T voke up hope ior the aay that ltlt secTAE utS WiN nmEInopEAN ?.t'

_-r

,.:.,rA

.,!n

--*--r3t'-ria

firp::tt

F.ichard. Edwards ( 0oo1 Notes )

As o toq -hae foSrgtran + t{'nrc fi{fro. his o.e cuta,-la "F sbnl,rss a c*ota -vl^,n,qlh s0 co.rse hle gg4=o hatn, bron rh F.n .crrf to.dr seas""

4 qoo*

Sv'^*r^ b,rud sl,to,6b

sftt,t

.---

-

e

VINEO NAZTS

fn Rorne t,he gladiators fougltt while people s}obbered in thre stanr1s the blocd.lust rose , the voyexrrs wzurked. with transf ixed Seu € a-nd frensi"ed hand s then naked humans thrcwn to beasts torn apart ami"dst the cheers

were

thei.r last entreat ies drpwned ln btrood wine € soaked sEck sadi-st ic j eers

and"

stil"l it swel"le, the evil l"ust enturies old, and, stil"l unslaked the cesspi"t of the hruman mrind" the varnpire free unckrained * unstaked

And e

e

sick men @ it t s aSways m€R *. &re harnessing the stinking rulture l"urking in the human seul andt f launti"ng it as video eul ture and

nCIw

F'ilm

makers

u

irnpotent and ecared

with shrivelled prieks and sick d.esires hrate women sCI threy stab their breats or wrench the ir ni pp}" es of f with pl, i, ers and hipsters at the lsMH say Bwhatts thre fuss @ it,0s speeial- effects' ft 's rcal enaugh in those bastards I ninds I want to break the j.r fucki.ng neeks j

of those who watch the films of Nazis raping jewish mothers d,o they sit ther€ r and wank, amd spout, wish they were there beside the others then play with children of their own 1 ike SS but chers useC. t c do'i L00K IN Tllbl MIFI.RCR , NASTY FAN And what

Si{E AHLF glc}ilv'Ai\jN STARE A? YCU I ATT

ItA TIfi

u

ST CC !GR"CI''G,

A quiek.opinion on the American invasion of Sranada (just one more landmark in a campaign which began with the overthrow of A1iende and will entl god knows where) Apart from Reagan's pathetic pretext of having been tinvited in' (where have we heartl that before? Afghanistani Czechosiovaxia?)anci the double stanrlards of the tory slime rags who slated the Russians and now applaud Reagan for doing exactly the sane thing.the hope is that Brits eve4rwhere will finaLly get the message that our government's views mean ABSOLUTEIY NmliING to Reagan. ff he gets the chance hefll be firing off cruise nissiles from British bases with as much disregard for local opinion as he has shown in *,his disgusting action.ftM SO

:illi.il}

WITH THE

usA......i....

Tm Only Qo"d TArn3s T9 Co*rc OuV OF A'lvrertca

I

z

3

D€ed

Hs€

ffie@ffiedg1s

Tee &$r0sm€ rcn l€ bcsk ho*ne {or sttrp t(es t hqg 4 Tae Wwfl*@& v^darq'oua) 5 ffiffiqS ffir Lrrl!'fr{ h€ft} E} a{ -1r 6 LEISNY b L

ffiut6

fr{rywry{}

t I

,"'*i

Y$4ffi Psm#ffi wffi -* $&N RSS IST'4 hd€ffi & N & tuffi&N

Nww w#ffi

Kffi4ffi ffieffiW ffie&ffi ssds" At ffiANlffiru ffi&Kr-##Ns

--g$ffffi, BAKLLAV&S

R,€CtPE J (eouRYffit$s sF-Tffi

e#

( renDtflo$rq c*,4 tffi

A

G

edE

"4ru

gweers ) CVog RrurgtoNgs"fs , fll{sssmfuss, YU&OSLAV ft fq2ir€ Pa,"e frtrKS ffitrc AmP 'Z P4cKgf 5 D€AhJ{biq P$w.S Te 'Tn € Cou PuGTgn" F4 t X r"ug€' L)

Fpg Ao

PcRTturuS

TW

r

fuuu-mw {'e}E J^Jq€fS i Ftu

f,g e€6

Foe Tr"#€ sOUqF

{ ,,r,t F g"uU &

R6$dt#6# *

ff-i

'tdhat,

r**t"ton f rr:rnlses

Ne-

"-

OCO

(:g'tr 54tT" '3

is it,? A plane?

Frices

!

5 50

Etltr

3,*

oR T!+€ Frut*tNk:,

Fico

by BardhYl

r

45* '3';a>

AT#&

*..J

=Fwu-ffi-

E** q.*-

FLtC Tt+€ gttuP

$*;*"K $ r,o

AUMu,rg*-$.ffi

t

$

ZoC .t/v\ UASr+:l€ -"' Sdq Fq ff

g eS c{ o?r flrri&f #fr n

*"J

t q'*n U4ru ruaA t Lmqos*

qw'*S%

A Fr'#p* I" i:Y*"*wning D*mocracy

Flqr,rpA 0bligaLiens wiLhin *hre FamilY

by Dhimitraq Ligori THE WORLD AS SEEN FRoM

Ifi FfEbgPErYgtSaIFJ 5

rr-r

e

TIRANA

SIFT tvt€ FL-Ld{ CNTo AS ift#rurqu}& BpqRo, HAtx€ A L++t€ ir"J yr# t-4effisr& &ru0 P4i€ ini 'T*tg 'tt+€ S4br'* 6Eq DLK S Ao O Tt+€ r^:4-rE€ r Ks.l6e$3 iNTo A S-TrFF xdqF .cduffi *rg+d Lv{.1H ntrTl-t A LuCTH + LGglu€ ft,"e gsffif,L Hrn).,T€5 0iUt$6 iruf*; gs*ALe t 6c€ S + rZo* T#,9€ ihr T# Tt4r n$ VA4€f,.S TtltSrZ€ olrrt BAKrpCr Artri rN r^rr+1t*-t TM gAKuAAwAS ,W€ fr 8€ Cru.(cr>+LAY T*6,loNA A-"

lsutqHruv

LEq

E N EA

Ry ALBA *,

\1t+€

04.r"{P

N*tIE

cLu

ru. SoFt pA$

BUTT6B + Cou6R ri+€

ff!ffi ""il-;ff':;f'^f ,iii',o

nmnrvnru wlTtu K:;jnt',i1ft9,ff,, l#ffi {i#ffiffifii*?1, $ rrrE ntf,rur\U> E-. ; ;J;T--.-*;;:;;.;;;;;;-^=^-^ VI:

''.,'ffi*F,&ffi* * **fl'r'.. lffi!

A, n ffi;ffi:"-'- A rirne -'"'"ffiiliffiiifffif"3l lnk#i; ?l ffi :ffi::ffiT,:"'Dritero 'lei

II

i{T,#ffi-r*j

-

; E.!

-l t: ffiffiffifft*31,1'l'*" Xt "9Tff:*1o"^q:t . t'"nsr

il

4#,:ffisilffi#i,:ffi#t

0E.00

07.30

-

19.30 )7'.16

- ?Q.,QA

3t,42

lffi;rii::l lt*, n mrodr,iiZ

3lr47

$P.ff,f#' lBt Soll.tNdr

vaverengttr(metres)

llit E{ l?:i8-ii.i8 zz"oo ;i,ir;

.[ ,- ,^^r* ,*ro. a? t, a ,r rr ._.r.r r I TrlE mosr r DEomq g$lry- qoyx D RADto srA.'tou

| ,itt53397 | 5.{g{g}4."..no,!

-

t:oo -

t:il

:rii,fr:

liH€]jiffi

liu'#iT'._.

t{ tS SgtfuintQ , Eq.\}#zg In* T$+6

Surlcg 0p Tr{€ tgq{xu, sor{€ 0F

E

NT0YED l'f, c.,,,r sr(NrNq oFF-ArrrL{! a-*,'3+

ar;

t

!^Tjg QR&T# ?e+L+ T*+e yes*8Ld-A, Iqlurc rr4€ sreuF oi# Tffi

B/{KL&AVAS AS Soo$ As T$+6y {V#

8ry6* Rer.{ortEo f.#.o*t S e€u€ Cor^61 ,

Tffi-burc e