Changing the Hearts of Fathers Helping dads c h eris h t h eir da u g h ters by Heather Loring
“We need to study, to eat, to play, and we need your love. We are no strangers, we are your daughters.”
Poverty is the main constraint these fathers face, but, explains Moreno, “there are three boys for every girl going to school, and many of these boys are also from poor families. In India, not much of an effort is made to send girls to school, because they are considered paraya dhan — “somebody else’s property”— their future husband’s, to be exact, to whom they are married off as soon as possible. Sometimes the girls are kept at home to take care of younger siblings or relatives, to cook and clean, and, in the worst cases, for sexual and labor exploitation outside the home. “Their fathers are, for the most part, the sole decision-makers about whether girls go to school or not.” With a goal of treating each girl and her father as individuals who need to be heard, Moreno says he finds that men really do care. “I ask them, ‘If it was up to you, apart from other constraints, would you bring your daughter to school?’ Often the response is a resounding ‘yes.’” FADA uses, among other resources, a father-daughter documentary (available at FatherandDaughter.org) as an “educational tool to soften the hearts of men to show the longing
Lines sung by three young girls to their fathers at a meeting of the Father and Daughter Alliance in New Delhi Pedro Moreno isn’t interested in growing the organization he founded — but he does want to spread his passion. That passion is to see fathers and daughters link arms to improve education for young women around the world. The Father and Daughter Alliance (FADA) is already making an impact in India, where, in partnership with NGOs and government officials in Delhi, it is engaged in an initiative to bring girls to school by involving their fathers. Other countries that FADA is targeting include Afghanistan, which has a female literacy rate of only 21 percent, Benin (23 percent), Yemen (30 percent), and Guatemala (63 percent). But girls in developing nations aren’t the only ones who need increased involvement from their dads in order to make the most of their lives. “There are 24 million kids in the US living without a father,” says Moreno,“and half of them are girls, many of whom will never see their father again.” Even when fathers are present in the home, many are not actively involved, he says. “They’re watching TV or reading the paper; they don’t connect.” Moreno sees this as the same neglect that prevails around the world. So whether in the US or India, FADA hosts father-daughter dessert and game events to encourage them to connect and get to know each other. FADA wants to see men become champions for women’s education. “Rather than trying to change centuries-old traditions,” explains the FADA website, “we work on changing the attitude of every father toward his daughter.” FADA seeks to give girls primary education and access to the same opportunities as their male counterparts. Each additional year of schooling can increase a girl’s earning potential over the span of her lifetime. When fathers make school a priority, they create a brighter future for their daughters.
Dads and daughters from the Sanjay slum in New Delhi gather to celebrate the girls’ education — and each other.
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