KINGDOM ETHICS D a v id p. G u shee
Where Do We Begin to Reconstruct Christian Sexual Morality?
dynamics. They divorced. Strike five. Now 40 and still dealing with her God-given needs, Maggie decided to turn to online Christian dating sites. She mainly “swung and missed” in relationships triggered by these sites but did make a few short-term connections. Finally, Maggie met another divorced man and found with him over time significant happiness and compatibility. After a while, lovemaking became a regular part of their relationship (strike six). There was talk of marriage. Maggie decided, however, that havThe gap between the church’s official sexual/marital morality and the actual ing failed twice at marriage, and having lives of its people has grown profound, developed an adult life with considerable and perhaps insuperable. To the extent emotional and financial independence, that church leaders still teach that God’s she would not marry again. However, she design is for sexual intercourse to be and her boyfriend decided to move in enjoyed only within the bonds of life- together. Strike seven. Throughout her adult life Maggie time marriage, we appear to be fighting a losing battle. As our people stray deeply has been in church each Sunday and has into patterns of living that diverge from occupied significant leadership roles. She Scripture, it becomes difficult to imag- considers herself a committed Christian and her faith to be a very important ine ways to call them back. Consider the following scenario. A part of her life. Maggie’s story reflects Christian woman (let’s call her Maggie) daily realities for millions of churchgoing entered adolescence with the expecta- Americans, including many committed tion that she would live according to Christians. There are many angles from which classic Christian sexual morality. Maggie refrained from intercourse through her this narrative can be viewed. We could high school years, succumbing late in analyze the story from Maggie’s percollege with the man she was planning spective, or from a broad historical to marry. Strike one against the church’s analysis, or even from the viewpoint of Maggie’s children. But let’s try to enter teaching. They did marry and had three chil- into the perspective of Maggie’s pastor, dren, but the marriage was unhappy and Rev. Jones. Like most pastors, Jones believes that finally ended in divorce, without particular grounds other than unhappiness. classic Christian sexual morality really is the will of God. He believes it is taught Strike two. Now in her 30s, Maggie was left with in Scripture, affirmed by tradition, and the same emotional and physical needs is a way of life that blesses those who that most adults have. She began looking undertake it. He also feels a sense of responsibility for a new partner, finally sleeping with (strike three) and then marrying (in some to try to guide his flock toward the will traditions, this is strike four) a man who, of God in this and other areas of life. like her, was also divorced and a parent. He is disheartened that he is having so Their marriage had promise but was little impact on Maggie’s choices. Because finally destroyed by their incompatibility her pattern is typical in his congregation, and by stresses caused by blended family his discouragement is severe. PRISM 2008
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What is Jones to do? He could decide that the classic Christian sexual ethic is simply out of step with the times. He could then explicitly abandon it from the pulpit or (more likely) implicitly abandon it as an aspect of his ministry. He could continue to teach classic Christian sexual morality, with full knowledge that his teaching will be ignored and no plan for dealing with this practical rejection of his message. Or he could continue to teach this sexual ethic and develop a church discipline strategy for enforcing it. Doing so, however, risks alienating many of his members and possibly costing him his job. Unless, that is, he serves a congregation that has corporately chosen to resist the tides of culture in this arena—and in others. No minister alone can stand against the capitulation of Christians to the cultural collapse of sexual morality. The people of God must continue to resist that collapse in their own lives. Trying to help the Maggies in our churches to work their way back to something resembling Christian sexual morality is at best a rearguard action that will see more failures than successes.We need a kind of Christian community life in which the people of God choose massive collective resistance to the winds of culture and learn how to make that commitment stick, from adolescence forward, one life at a time. n David P. Gushee is a distinguished university professor of Christian ethics at Mercer University in Atlanta, Ga., co-chair of the Biblical/Contextual Ethics Group of the American Academy of Religion, and president of Evangelicals for Human Rights. He is the author of 11 books, including Getting Marriage Right: Realistic Counsel for Saving and Strengthening Relationships (Baker, 2004) and The Future of Faith in American Politics (Baylor University Press, 2008).