Can This Marriage Be Saved? by Ellen Dooley
J
Jeffrey Thompson
Pornography’s toll on our most intimate relationship
im and Joan were married for 15 years, but a disturbing lack of sexual intimacy characterized 14 of those years. Joan often sat alone, crying in a darkened living room during the middle of the night, wondering what was wrong with her. Why did her husband not desire her? Most of the time Joan made the sexual advances, to which her husband responded, but he rarely initiated things. She tried sexy lingerie and he seemed to enjoy that, but not for long. She was moderately overweight, so she dieted until she fit into a single digit dress. That, too, seemed to help ... but also not for long. At Joan’s suggestion, they tried marriage counseling. They saw six counselors during those years, but no long-term solutions emerged. Jim denied any childhood sexual abuse or pornography use, and Joan believed him. However, in the final year of their marriage, she began to suspect that Jim was indeed using pornography. He had settled into a pattern of evening behavior early in their marriage. He arrived home from work, ate supper, fell asleep watching tele-
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