Milk, Sugar & AIDS Activism

Milk, Sugar & AIDS Activism From Sub-Saharan Africa to suburban America, confront a killer. Pass the cupcakes, please.

by Shayne Moore

“Do you think anyone will show up?” I ask my friend as I arrange cupcakes and tea cups on the serving table. “What if no one shows up?”

We are hosting a tea to honor Princess Kasune Zulu of Zambia. We invited Princess to come and tell her story to our friends. We chose a local community center—the Boathouse in Glen Ellyn, Ill.—with a large open room and a wall of windows looking out over a small lake.

I stare apprehensively over the expansive lawn, dotted with huge maple and oak trees, when I notice women starting to trickle down toward the Boathouse. My heart starts to pump a little faster. People are really coming.

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Glimpse into another world I first met Princess Kasune Zulu in 2002 through World Vision.

She is a wife and mother from Zambia, and a woman who is HIV-positive. Princess is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met—she simply owns her own skin. She speaks and moves with grace and confidence, and she has an intelligent and playful sense of humor that transcends any cultural barriers.

Princess is her given first name, but you’d be forgiven for thinking she is royalty. She wears the traditional Zambian attire: a full fabric skirt, blouse, and scarf all in a bright royal blue and gold matching pattern. She has a beautiful, joyful face, and her ebony skin is perfection. I was immediately comfortable with

Photo by Benjamin C. M. Backhouse, courtesy of The Hummingbird Bakery

two middle-class mothers

“HIV knows no boundaries.”

Princess, and our first conversation flowed effortlessly.

Princess makes it very clear that she has been released from the shame and stigma of being HIV-positive and that she considers it her calling to educate and share a message of hope to others living with HIV and AIDS. Her confidence in this is something one cannot fake, and I was quickly caught up by her accent, the lilt of her laugh, the engaging fire in her eyes, and the power of her story.

“When I found out I had the virus, I was filled with joy. I don’t know why—it was a death sentence,” said Princess.

“Growing up in Zambia, I lost my brother and my baby sister to AIDS. Then AIDS claimed my mother, then my father. At 17, I dropped out of school. I got pregnant. At 18, I married my boyfriend, a man 25 years older than me. He had already lost two wives suspected of having AIDS. I am now HIVpositive.”

As Princess shared her story, I was reminded that these are the facts of life in Sub-Saharan Africa, where 6,000 people die every day from AIDS. “I only realized that my parents died of AIDS much later on in my life,” Princess continued, “when I started reading books and magazines and watching shows on TV about AIDS.” Long into our conversation, Princess confessed, “When I found out I was HIV-positive and how it is spread, I started going along the highways, pretending to be a prostitute, in hopes a truck driver would pick me up and I could tell him about the disease.”

I was stunned. “You would be picked up because they thought you were a prostitute—and then what?”

“I would tell them it is not safe to drive the roads and have many sexual partners before returning home to their wives. I would educate them and tell them my status and tell them they need to stop this behavior.”

“Princess!” I was both stunned and impressed, but I said, “That is not safe!”

Chuckling, she responded, “Well, no one else is talking about it, and it must be talked about. Women need to be protected somehow. In Zambia it is hard for a woman to make her husband wear a condom if he refuses.”

The juxtaposition of being so comfortable with Princess, as if we had been lifelong friends, with the incredibly foreign story I was hearing was an emotional, wild ride. Yet what Princess shared next was so confrontational to my suburban life as a wife and mother that I have never been the same since.

Princess said, “When I first suspected I contracted the virus from my husband, I wanted to go get tested, but in Zambia a wife cannot get tested without the permission, without a signature from the husband. And so for a long while I could not find out my status or the status of my children, because my husband would not sign.”

“How is this possible that women around the world are still treated this way?” I wondered. “This could be me. This could be my life. But it’s not—and only because of where I happened to be born.”

Breaking out of the bubble When I met Princess in 2002, the global HIV/AIDS pandemic was just beginning to come to the forefront of awareness with governments and churches. It was not prominently discussed on the news, not at the national level or the multinational government level and certainly not in churches. Meeting Princess and getting to know her story did something to me. It knocked the suburban breath right out of me.

I’ve always been aware that I live in a bubble—junior high, high school, and college all in the same Midwestern town. So right after college, I moved to South Central Los Angeles to teach at an inner-city school. That experience expanded my understanding of things non-middle-America and gave me time to develop my compassion muscle. In the inner city, I had to come to terms with the messiness of poverty and all the complex issues and causes. I built relationships with people very different from me, and I grew in deep compassion as I journeyed with them and experienced the hard realities of life in the inner city.

But it had been years since my time in South Central LA. After getting married, I wanted to live in my hometown and raise my family here. I got a job teaching junior high in a neighboring town, and then I stayed home after the birth of my first son. I settled back into comfortable A billboard at the University of Zambia in Lusaka. (Photo by Philipp Hamedl) suburbia without much conflict. I was a young wife and mother, and I was building a life of security and safety for myself and my family. To be honest, there was no connection to my life in the inner city of Los Angeles in my life as a new stay-at-home mom. LA was on the other side of the country, and my babies, along with my other stay-at-home mom friends, my church, and Bible studies—these were the things in front of me.

My days filled up with the concerns of making sure my three children were fed, clean, and well behaved. My stresses were around things like strep throat that won’t go away, or finding those darn inserts for the sippy cups, or digging through the dirty clothes to find the least dirty onesie until I could get some laundry done. I spent non-naptime hours at the parks and tot lots with other stay-at-home moms and their kids.

I have a group of friends, some I have known since junior high, and we would meet every Wednesday to pray for one In many societies, women gain freedom from the wishes of their fathers only when power over them is handed to their husbands (see TheElders.org/ womens-initiatives).

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This billboard in Zambia addresses the myth that having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS. (Photo by Samantha Tam)

another. This time became a lifeline to me— sanity in the midst of the busyness and chaos of managing a family with small children. We shared our lives, our struggles, and our secrets for making this time a bit easier or more efficient. We were so desperate to connect and feel the support of other women that we still laugh about the day we met when, combined, we had 15 children under the age of 3. We had no babysitter that day, and children ran around the house, wiggled under our feet, crawled over us and the furniture while babies sprawled across laps—and we were all unfazed by it. We continued to talk and pray together in the din of total insanity.

Waking up to the realities of the AIDS situation in Subinfection is higher among girls and women than it is among Saharan Africa and building a relationship with Princess was men. In Africa virtually every infected woman contracts HIV unnervingly connecting my present life with my past life in the from a male partner with whom she cannot choose to abstain inner city. For years my compassion muscle had been busy from sex. Studies show that women, and particularly young caring for my own babies, but now God was growing something girls, are more vulnerable to contracting the HIV virus. The in me. My compassion was waking up and expanding, and I genital lining can easily be broken and increases chances of knew I could never go back to being neutral about things that infection. Not only are women biologically more vulnerable, break my heart. And even though I didn’t know what we were they are socially more vulnerable. Women are more likely to be doing, I knew we had to do coerced into sex or raped, and Each woman has come because she was invited. In this they have no say in condom use. something—I didn’t know where it was all going, but I moment, something clicks in me. I begin to understand Many young girls have sexual the power of grassroots organizing. had a deep sense that I was relations with much older men, simply to keep moving forward. I knew, or I longed to believe, who lure them with gifts and favors. that if other women heard this story and met this beautiful Women lack a voice, and the price of that silence is the sister, they too would never be the same. continuing spread of HIV and AIDS. UNAIDS reports that three-fourths of all the women living with HIV and AIDS live Learning about our African counterparts in the developing world. In many of these societies, women The women—church members, book club members, old have few rights in the sexual relationship and within the family coworkers, friends, and parents of friends—are filing through structure. Men come home and refuse to wear condoms. This the refreshment line, piling their plates with croissants, cookies, makes it difficult for a woman to protect herself against HIV and chocolates. Soon we sit down and begin. and to protect her children. Men make all major decisions Princess addresses the room—packed now with 80 within a household, including the decision to have more than women!—and begins by saying, “HIV knows no boundaries.” As one sexual partner.

I listen to Princess’ story for the third time, I am reminded of Patriarchal social structures can harm women of all ages. what made me fall in love with her: strength. Her strength does In a family where there are sick people, caring for the ill is the not come from a culture that went through social movements women’s job, often in addition to other work that can bring in like women’s suffrage or the civil rights movement; her strength money. When the mother and the father are sick, young girls flows simply from the depths of who God made her to be. become the main caregivers, which causes them to drop out of Princess gently teaches us while she shares her journey school. The disproportionate expectation placed on women and with HIV and AIDS. She tells us that the rate of HIV young girls increases risky sexual behavior, which is often seen as a way to make a living or simply survive. In Africa the rate of Statistics reveal that girls and young women remain far infection in teenage girls is six times higher than in women over more vulnerable to HIV infection than young men, with 35. About one in four teenage girls lives with HIV, compared two-thirds of the 5.5 million 15-24-year-olds with HIV with one in 25 teenage boys. worldwide being women. The majority of these young Princess is blessed that even though she is a woman, she people still lack comprehensive and correct information was able to be educated in Zambia. She explains that education about how to prevent HIV infection or do not have the is the most effective way to prevent HIV infection in women power to act on that knowledge (see UNICEF report and girls. If every child in the developing world received a basic at bit.ly/eNJXlU). primary education, about 700,000 new HIV infections would be prevented yearly, especially in girls. Schools can teach HIV

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At least 12.1 million African children have lost one or both parents to AIDS (see UNICEF report at bit.ly/fmA56V) prevention methods such as condom use, encouraging fewer (or no) sexual partners, and the importance of discussing HIV and AIDS openly. UNAIDS has stated that girls who attend school are more likely able to make sexual decisions for themselves, are more independent, and are more likely to earn an income.

Increased education will also help reduce the cultural stigma of HIV and AIDS. As Princess finishes her presentation, I glance out the window of the Boathouse and across the glinting surface of the lake. Couples are walking their dogs, and men are fishing. A woman pushes a stroller along the paved path. The ladies laugh as Princess tells an anecdote about cultures clashing. I turn from the window to look at her, and I am amazed. How did this happen? How is there a room full of Midwesterners anxious to hear a Zambian woman share her story?

The sun pours through the paned windows, dramatically lighting the room, and I realize I know the answer to my own question. Each woman has come because she was invited. In this moment, something clicks in me. I begin to understand the power of grassroots organizing. I acted in my sphere of influence to tell a story and to hope for change.

The power of doing something Princess’ words stirred the hearts of the women that day. Our tea party was only a drop in the bucket, but it was a step we took to follow God’s call in our lives instead of doing nothing.

Several months later, Princess found herself in the White House meeting President George W. Bush and Secretary of State Colin Powell. Along with national leaders, she urged President Bush to pass the AIDS bill and PEPFAR (President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief). Since I first met Princess, she has met with senior leaders from the British and Irish parliaments, her own president of Zambia, Mrs. Mandela from South Africa, and ambassadors from many countries. She has been featured in USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, and

An AIDS awareness sign in Simonga, Zambia. (Photo by JonRawlinson.com)

Christianity Today, and she wrote a book called Warrior Princess: Fighting for Life with Courage and Hope (IVP, 2009), about how she emerged an unexpected champion for those at risk and affected by AIDS. During the year following the tea, the women we’d assembled gave money through World Vision so Princess could return to Zambia and produce her own nationally syndicated radio series. Zambian women may not talk about issues of sex, fidelity, justice, and HIV/AIDS with one another, but everyone is thinking about them. Radio is the most effective way of getting the message out to women who feel trapped and scared. A woman can clean her home and cook her meals while hearing a message of hope. Princess’ program, Positive Living, was broadcast in English and seven other languages, and it received honors from the US embassy in Zambia for excellence in broadcasting on HIV and AIDS. I didn’t expect another mother to provide a model of grassroots global social advocacy—especially a mother from the other side of the world. Princess became a compelling guide on how to fight overwhelming odds with a brave, hopeful heart.

Princess is not an angry, militant, placard-waving activist; she is a smart, intentional, feisty activist who stands on an unmovable foundation of love, hope, and justice. Such a foundation cannot be shaken and is stronger than any oppressive forces that may try to come against it, even death.

Shayne Moore (GlobalSoccerMom.com) lives in Wheaton, Ill., and is an author, speaker, wife, mother of three, outspoken advocate in the fight against extreme poverty and global AIDS, and one of the original members of the ONE Campaign (One.org). Moore sits on the executive board of directors for Upendo Village (UpendoVillage.org), an HIV/AIDS clinic in Kenya, and on the board of directors for Growers First (GrowersFirst.org), which empowers rural farmers in the developing world. This article was adapted from Global Soccer Mom: Changing the World Is Easier Than You Think, just released from Zondervan, by Shayne Moore, © 2011. Used by permission of Zondervan (Zondervan.com).

As one of the founding members of the ONE Campaign, Moore has made several advocacy and educational trips to the African continent.

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Soccer Mom, Superhero

Shayne Moore unmasks the hidden power of church ladies across the nation. PRISM caught up with her between carpools and G8 summits.

PRISM: What is the greatest obstacle you’ve encountered in the fight against AIDS? Shayne Moore: The greatest obstacle as a full-time mom trying to get engaged and mobilize others is lack of education and understanding. We often hear about this in the developing world—about the importance of educating young men and women about the disease. Much stigma and misunderstanding is still rampant, but stigma and misunderstanding around the issues of HIV and AIDS are not limited to the developing world.

When I first woke up to the realities of HIV/AIDS and extreme poverty, I found myself talking about it all the time— to whomever would listen. In one conversation I was talking about the need to get ARVs (antiretroviral medication) to women in rural Africa. The woman I was talking with was an educated, everyday mother like me. Her response was, “Why? Aren’t they going to die anyway?”

She wasn’t being mean—she simply did not know that the science of ARVs has changed so much that if a mother who is HIVpositive can get on medication she will live a long, productive life. HIV-positive mothers in the developing world need medication so they can be healthy and raise their children and work. She also did not know that today we have the medical ability to have no child born with HIV. An inexpensive pill can enable an entire generation to be born HIV-free.

I truly believe people are compassionate, and when educated and informed they will act.

PRISM: What is the most effective tool you have personally available to you in the fight against AIDS? SM: My own voice.

In my experience as a lifelong churchgoer, women tend to sit in the pews quietly supporting the life of the church.

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Of course, I believe all church members should support this. But how many women, myself guilty, have remained silent about the things that break our hearts?

Is style of music important? Perhaps.

Is the gay issue and women in leadership important? Probably.

But I have come to believe that, if given a choice of what to fuss about in church, most women would choose to raise a ruckus over the fact that a 10-year-old girl is in a cage in Cambodia being used as a sex slave.

Our own voices and passions are our greatest tools. That is what I like about ONE (ONE.org). ONE is a nonpartisan, Shayne Moore addresses a crowd at a n o n d e n o m inati o nal ONE Campaign awareness-raising event. advocacy group.

They don’t want my money—they want my voice. By being a member of ONE I am immediately in the conversation, and I am informed.

PRISM: If you could hang a banner at the front of every church in America, what would it say?

SM: Do you know your status?

The fight against HIV and AIDS starts right where we are. How can we ask an entire continent of people to know their status when there are HIV-positive, untested people in our pews?

PRISM: What have you learned about yourself since stepping out of your comfort zone to address global needs?

SM: I have learned that I can make a difference. I have learned that my role as a full-time mother does not limit my influence. I have thrown off the “don’t rock the boat” messages, and I have learned that soccer moms have more power and influence in culture, in church, and in the world than we ever realized.

Warrior Princess, Woman of God

Princess Kasune Zulu puts a remarkable face on the AIDS crisis—God’s very own face. PRISM was fortunate to catch a healing glimpse.

PRISM: Has your HIV status been an obstacle in any way in your fight against AIDS? Princess Zulu: For me, HIV has been more of a blessing than an obstacle. I know that’s unique, since so many people have lost their jobs or marriages or lives due to HIV, but for me, because of my willingness to break the silence, my HIV status has been a blessing. Romans 8:28 tells us that God will use everything— even evil—for his glory. God is using HIV to take me, and other women like me, to places we would never go otherwise, to be advocates for others and for change. It is bigger than all of us; yet when we become obedient to what God is calling us to, we end up being blessed in return.

of our dependence on God. Don’t lose the quest for God and his love for the brokenhearted.

PRISM: What have you learned about yourself since stepping out to address global needs?

What have you learned about God?

PZ: I have learned that when we use the little that God has given us, he will multiply it beyond anything we could ever ask for. I am from a village in Africa, but I have spoken to a US president, which resulted in him and the people of America— PRISM: What is the most effective tool you have personally through the PEPFAR Fund—giving $15 billion (in April 2003) toward the fight against AIDS! The next time I testified, in available to you in the fight against AIDS? 2007 on Capitol Hill at a committee chaired by the late Senator PZ: Being vulnerable with people, telling my story as vulner- Ted Kennedy, the bill went from just $15 billion for AIDS to $51 ably as I can. This begins to break down the issue of HIV and billion for malaria, TB, and HIV/AIDS. Never in my craziest AIDS from just numbers and statistics and make it real. They dreams could I have imagined this.

Our greatest struggles not only mold us into a different see that, Hey this is real, this could happen to my brother, my person than we would wife, my church mate. If we make it have been otherwise, personal we are more likely to make Princess Zulu testifies before the US Congress in 2007. (Photo by Geralbut they make us an headway in the fight against HIV. dine Ryerson-Cruz/World Vision) encouragement to Personalizing the problem is the others, and ministries greatest tool. When something beare born. comes personal we not only act but we act with urgency. And urgency is Princess Kasune Zulu a game changer.

(PrincessZulu.com) is the author of WarPRISM: If you could hang a banrior Princess: Fighting ner at the front of every church in for Life with CourAmerica or Africa, what would it age and Hope (IVP, say?

2009). Part of the proceeds of the book PZ: In Africa, my banner would goes to help children say: Hold on. The God we serve is affected by HIV/AIDS more than able to hear your cries and is administered and prayers. He gives hope where through Fountain of there is no hope, life where there is Life (FountainofLife-Africa.org), the nonprofit she founded to death.

Great suffering causes us to be desperate for God, but empower children in rural Africa through improved access to when we have much, we tend to lose that desperation for God. education and healthcare. Today Zulu is an internationally recSo in America, my banner would say: You have been spared ognized speaker and AIDS activist. She splits her time between the pain and suffering of people in developing countries who live Chicago, where she lives with her husband and two teenage with extreme poverty, HIV, and preventable diseases. But there daughters, and Zambia, where the family awaits visa processing is another sickness, and that is the sickness of not being aware for the five orphans they have adopted since 2007.

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