the insider
I
Protesting about protests f I had ever found myself with enough of a
Why is it that we drivers, professional or otherwise, marketing budget, I had planned to arrange to be are forever blamed and punished? We remain the most ‘interviewed’ by several magazines. High end stuff heavily taxed, frequently fined and constantly harassed mind you: the type of rag that gets seductively group in existence today. Which would be bad enough scattered atop smoked glass tables in private jet centres when using the car to simply get to and from work or before being stolen by drivers when out seeking coffee. on the school run but becomes a whole different animal These mock interviews would finish with the article adding when seeking to drive professionally as we do especially “…and do not imagine you can just book Chirton Grange. No, after a global pandemic when we didn’t work for 18 you have to know someone who knows someone before they months! Kevin Willis even consider you as a suitable client.” Why are we the ones victimised? How come they leave No contact details would ever be printed. The piece de 10 Downing Street alone? Why are Home Insulation resistance to my cunning plan would require nerves of steel factories not the ones blockaded? What the f*** has this Everyday problems got to do with drivers? that saw us actually turn down high profile and wealthy from the operator’s clients with the ultimate insult of “However, I might be able The answer to my question is simple – apathy. Apathy point of view... to recommend another company who’d better suit someone is drivers loosening trouser belts to bend over so “they” like you.” can shaft us good and proper. Apathy is the “yeah, but Annabel’s nightclub in Berkeley Square, London, operated what can we do?” mentality. When all we actually do this reverse psychology for years and it’s where I stole the idea. To apply is moan and groan like a porn star with toothache and do very little to for membership to this exclusive pub-with-rooms you needed to invest an support our case. initial £2,000 which got you no more than to be considered by a panel of Licensing authorities should be helping their clients, because that seven judges, who, no matter who you were or your net worth, could and is what we are, we are their customers and we dutifully pay the piper. would turn down anyone they pleased for no logical reason. What is the point of the Guild of this or the Association of that if they Obviously this drove the wannabe members crazy because no one aren’t using their collective strength to challenge the injustice to their had ever said no to them before. So what did they do? They looked for members? any which way to gain access into what had become the must-have I would happily pay any subscription dues for clear access off junction membership in London. Genius! 14 of the M25 over a lapel badge or certificate! Much like my clever “Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see”’ is advertising idea, when an illusion is created, as the BBC and other media something I wish the morons inhabiting this country at the moment had outlets managed to do a couple of weeks back, then fools will follow. It taken a beat to consider when they listened to the BBC glibly splutter was too easy for those at the Beeb to sit on the red sofa over a cup of forth a news report containing the words “shortage” and “crisis”. breakfast tea and deny they said anything wrong before completing the This came about after BP decided to temporarily close a dozen or so of piece to camera by announcing “now get ready for a shortage of turkeys its 1,200 forecourts due to a lack of a few drivers. The government – and this Christmas”’…watch this space! the media – scurried to light the blue touch paper and let the zombies Where is our fight? Our rebellion? How many of you reading this were out of the asylum to stockpile fuel. punks back in the day, rockers or Mods scrapping on Brighton Beach? In reality, there is no fuel shortage or any crisis, there is only a driver We need to rage against the machine once more and stop apologising for shortage, but that didn’t stop the companies supplying our fossil fuel being drivers, we have done nothing wrong. from jumping on the opportunity to whack up the prices by as much as Ask yourself, would the younger you be proud of what you have become 10p per litre. Then, when we do manage to get the fuel gauge moving in later life? Some of you fought against racial and religious injustice upwards, we pull on to motorways disrupted by retirees with bollocks all while others stood firm and refused to be judged for your sexuality. We else to do but use their arthritic fingers to squeeze out the last of their need that tenacity now! dentafix and use it to stick themselves to the tarmac. Let us drive around to the homes of Insulate Britain protesters and These idiots are walking out onto one of the world’s busiest motorways block their streets, their route to work. Let’s stop their ambulance taking without a care or consequence to what could happen should traffic have their sick mother to hospital. Let’s park our cars on their begonias beds, to swerve to avoid them. Arrogant, selfish narcissists. rev our engines and sing ‘I fought the law’ at full volume for four hours. Believe me, I do not agree with Extinction Rebellion’s modus operandi Let’s see if the police arrest us or enquire as to whether we need sun but can at least respect the fact they are fighting for a just cause like cream, bottled water or “anything else that made us comfortable!” We can climate change. These lobotomised lemmings are championing…home be a force to be reckoned with, there are more of us than there is of them, insulation! Home insulation? Perhaps they think child poverty and we just aren’t shouting the loudest. modern slavery aren’t worthy enough issues? Stop moaning, stop apologising and start rebelling! The BBC and other media outlets created an illusion that did not exist. If you want to get together and kick things off you’ll find me in They created the need for people to crave a full tank of fuel. We have Annabel’s most evenings. seen first hand, on forecourts across the country, punch-ups, arguments, Power to the People! n Kevin Willis runs Chirton Grange, shouting and swearing and even a knife pulled on one guy in south-east contact@chirtongrange.co.uk London. Utter madness!
OCTOBER 2021
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