1 APPENDIX B1 Draft of Student Examination w/ Comments
Data collecting is the most crucial part of an experiment, to the enterprise of
Comment [AB1]: Don’t limit to experiement,. It is important….period, to the enterpreise of research and public policy
research and to public policy. When collecting data you are grasping information that will help you know if your experiment went right or wrong. Without it, you cannot really know. Sociologists have come up with three techniques theories that are supposed to help
Comment [AB2]: Not the right word. Techniques, approaches, but they are not theories
facilitate data collecting. Although these techniques are meant to improve data collecting, they also have their ambiguities and loopholes. with.
Comment [AB3]: never end a sentence with a preposition. And secondly, this sentence really doesn’t further your anaylsis or thesis statement.
The first theory is called Official Statistics. Official Statistics was invented in the United States of America so that it could help provide “comparable and consistent” crime
In general, the introduction is weak. It does not use the correct terminology and is confusing as a result. You need to be specific. You should also introduce (simply a list, perhaps) of the three techniques here. It will make the following sections flow better.
statistics (Olivo, 9). If we look carefully, we see that official statistics helps government officials keep track of the amounts of increase in crime. Without this method, it would be complicated for anyone to know the increase or decrease in criminal acts. committed. The
One way to approach is it to answer, clearly and concisely (honestly, no more than 1 or 2 sentences) the question “Why do we have three techniques? Isnt one enough?” (don’t include this question in your text, but address the answer to it—as a way to set up the ideas that will follow. Comment [AB4]: Invented---wrong word
advantage of knowing about all the criminal acts committed is that the government knows exactly what is going on and can try and do something about it. When the government officials know what is going they can act accordingly and figure out a way to keep crime at a minimal. crime”. It has been reported that there are two types of categories of crime. These categories are: the crime detected by the police themselves and the crimes reported by victims and the public (Olivo, 10). Usually about ten percent of
Comment [AB5]: they don’t control it at all, it is simply an indicator—which you allude to in the next sentence. Comment [AB6]: This comment cannot be for real. Don’t exaggerate here. You continue to paint yourself into a corner. From what you provide here, it is clear to me that you are not really sure why we collect official statistics, where they come from, who collects them and for what purpose, and what, exactly they measure. You need to include answers to all of these questions, otherwise, you appear to have NO CLUE as to what the question asks— almost appears as though you have never herd me use the terms in class before (or you simply don’t understand the book—which you cite—in either case, it is not going to get you a passing grade on this exam.
crimes are found by the police and the ninety percent is reported by the public (Olivo, 10) If we leave it to the public to report crimes then it leads to selective reporting and there may also be a lack of reporting. Many illegal acts are usually not reported because of certain dilemmas such as the victim may not trust the police to be effective, the victim
Comment [AB7]: Fails to show that you understand this concept. Just take a second a re-read this—does it make ANY sense to you? What could it possibly mean that “since the crimes are almost not reported?” That isn’t logical. Is this the state of mind when people aren’t sure if they should call the police? That would not be close to what official statistics attempt to measure.
2 may fear the offender, or the victim would rather face the offender themselves etc. (Olivo, 10). There is also a problem with the police because if they believe the crime is too trivial to pursue, they will just leave it alone and look at a much larger case. Another example would be that if the victim doesn’t want the police involved, they police will not interfere with the case. The technique of Official Statistics usually underestimates the volume of crimes, so it is hard to speak correctly of youth crime (Olivo, 10). This also comes with the “rising youth crime” which is a self fulfilling prophecy, in which people believe that if crime is rising then they are more willing to report crime to the police. If people become more willing to report crime to the police then that means that crime rate will eventually go up. Schools have added the “ Zero Tolerance” policy in their schools, which means that if there is ever any slightest trivial assault, that could have been handled privately, will be send directly to the police and the crime rate will go up. Since this technique is unstable, sociologists have come up with a newer technique that may help is data collecting which is called Self-Report. crime. The second theory is called Self-Report Studies. Self –Report studies is a
Comment [AB8]: This doesn’t follow from your discussion (which is very weak in the first place). IN any event, it is also not a conclusion that find support in my lecture notes nor the readings assigned for class
frequently used method. This method is used when a school or adolescents use surveys, or do interviews on a certain range of offences that they believe any of the students could be changed with. This technique may be used frequently and the most effective but it also has its flaws. side. It is frequently used because this technique makes it easy for officials to provide information about the people who were engaged in any kind of criminal act, and it also facilitates the records the people who have not been involved in any kind of criminal act before. By doing these interviews and by giving these surveys, it gives the seekers a closer look to the possible delinquent youths that are out there. It also allows
Comment [AB9]: this is very weak. You do not really talk about it clearly…..therefore, I am not convinved that a discussion of any side, promising or otherwise, is really appropriate now.
3 them to compare their information and see how many kids will eventually end up as delinquents. Although this technique is very reliable good in a sense that it can detect delinquency, it can also fail to show any type of delinquency among the people who take them. When answering these types of questionnaires, people can and sometimes do omit writing down the fact that they have been involved in any crimes, sometimes people
Comment [AB10]: “good” is not really an analytical term used in my experience. Movies are good, but data collection techniques for criminal activity are usually “strong”, “robust”, “valid or reliable”, “dependable”, “useful”, “helpful” or “relevant”—but not good. You continue to say “does not help”, that is a perfectly appropriate way to discuss this at this point, given where you are going in your discussion—you could simply “this helps” and then later “does not help”
forget they have been involved in any crimes and some people exaggerate and invent crimes that are not true. This usually does not help the situation because people are trying to find out about the possible delinquents and the possible people who have been in crimes and the survey takers are lying and saying that they have not been involved when they really have. If people lie about not being in crimes then it will be harder for anyone to try and ix the problem. Crime should be dealt with right away, but if crime is not reported, then there may be a problem.If crime is not dealt with then crime rate increases,
Comment [AB11]: ok, good. Such as? You really should support a comment like this by providing an example.
and economy goes down and people are going to start leaving the country because they will not feel safe. People cannot control what is out of their reach so if the police don’t know about these crimes they cannot stop them. People will then be more prone to assaults, and violence of some kind. place. The last theory is Victimization. Victimization Studies is “crime surveys based on incidents of crime (either reported to the police or unreported…” (Olivo, 18). The good thing about this is that the surveys allow us to see the actual profile of the victim. When looking at it, the victim’s profile is almost similar to the offender’s profile in a sense that most offenders are young, male, and of the working class. It is very likely that an offender is male because it is assumed that the males are the most prone to becoming a delinquent. The inadequate thing about it is that it does not provide much useful
Comment [AB12]: But the world isn’t…so what does this tell us about how useful our data collection techniques are in terms of how useful they are at helping policy “protect and serve” communities? This is one way you could use a sentence like this, (which I think is fairly weak) as a way to support and further your argument.
4 information about the offender because in some cases, for example, a robbery, the offender is not even encountered by the victim. In Shoemakers book, Cohen’s thesis leads to the conclusion that kids that drop out of school lead directly to delinquency. For example, there was a correlation between school performance and delinquency in which
Comment [AB13]: Or a job with the government. LOL Cmon, you need to lighten up on the “chicken little” writing. Clearly, there is something between school drop out and criminal career?
there have been 2000 students recorded in the school of California from grade nine to grade twelve. They believed that those students that had dropped out a year before their graduation time had a higher rate of delinquency than the kids who actually graduated (Shoemaker, 117). This goes to show that when delinquency starts, it is at a young age and it starts right after dropping out of school. People value the Self-Report studies approach because it “provides information on how many times a person has engaged in deviant or illegal acts, and it records the acts of those who have not been categorized as delinquents…” (Olivo, 16). two. People use these questionnaires to try and determine the amounts of possible delinquents that will emerge from schools. This theory is more efficient that Official Statistics because Official Statistics only show us the smallest part of actual offenders and it may cause mal representation among some of the offenders. There has been a test saying that survey polls have is usually pretty accurate because its purpose is to provide information about a certain topic from the general public. Since it is reasonably close, then it is more reliable therefore it will be used more often. People are right to being critical of the data that is being collected as “conservative” because for crime, there should not be any room for uncertainty or mistakes. People have to find the most effective method that will help delinquents stop doing what they’re doing and put them back on the right path. Kids do not start off as delinquents so there has to be
Comment [AB14]: I would urge you to reconsider your choice of which technique seems to have social approbation/value---can you think critically about the importance of “science” and how we discussed the importance it plays in the support for fairly weak biological and psychological theoretical perspectives? You would be well served to revisit that logic here. You bring up a paradox….official statistics report very little actual crime (true), however, why are they official then? Why wouldn’t self-report studies be the official solition or technique? Go back and really re-read Olivo.
5 a way to get delinquents back on the right side. It has come to a point that people have tried so many things to get kids to stop being bad but it is rare that they even work. There must be a more efficient way of getting people to stop doing what they are doing. For it to seem fair, everyone has to be at the exact same level. Adults must get the exact same salary so people cannot complain about who has the bigger pay role. If people are equal they will have the same opportunity to have whatever they want. Overall, data is never really accurate no matter what. There will always be flaws in the techniques that collect data because of the way this data is collected. Each technique has its ups and downs but one will always be preferred over the other. Thus, techniques should have the least amount of flaws in them because if they have flaws, then they cannot be used. These techniques are all unique in their own way they all have their strengths and weaknesses but some have more than another. It all depends on which one is more effective and which one can provide the best quality information possible. In the end it is all data, and it is all used to keep people up to date with crime. it.
Part B.
Comment [AB15]: I think you are being too optimistic here and fail to grasp the complexity of the techniques used and the promise and perils of each.
6 4.) Every year, there are many murders and arrests caused by gang activities. Since people do not know about these frequent gang activities, journalists create articles in which helps the public know about what is going on. This article depicts exactly that; gang related members that go to primary schools and try to influence children in joining their gang by their way of speech. It not only recites stories of gang related activities, but it also keeps us up to date on the data collected that help us realise that there are that many murders, and arrests made also. This is a clear definition of subculture. . This little The definition of a subculture is a subdivision within the dominant culture that has its own sets of values, morals, and beliefs (Shoemaker). For gang members, it is morals and values that allow them to recruit young kids. They believe that they must keep the gang alive so they start the new gang members at a young age. What gang members believe and what people that do not belong in gangs believe are two different things. Gangs always turn to violence or crime when something goes wrong and that is a problem. The
Comment [AB16]: This is not an introduction, rather it launches right into what you provide for an answer. You need to set it up. What is the article about—lay it out, then start to build your case for how you are going to apply one of the terms provided to it in your discussion Comment [AB17]: use of terms like this is not really important. Little is relative and creates a situation where they are a completely innocent victim of predatory thugs at best, and in the worst case, it sets them up to have absolutely no agency or ability ro make choices. This is one of the things that I think we need to fight against is the use of dichotomous or polarized/stark comparisons like this. The social world is way to complex to be brought toa simplistic level of analysis such as the one you offer here. Comment [AB18]: Cite?
article states that “there have been seventeen murders in the past year that have been gang related. Also that sixty people were arrested due to gang activity”. Since gang members have grown up with using violence, it has come to a point that they actually believe it is the right thing to do. To them it doesn’t matter because it’s been embedded in them and it has become part of their values. Kids get so focused in their gangs that they forget about their families. They forget about their families maybe because their family is falling apart, or they have abusive parents or maybe their parents take drugs and sell sex. When this happens usually the gang becomes their priority because they feel less abused or less neglected. Family becomes less and less important due to situations like these. Although they’ve grown up in violence, it is up to them to know when it’s right and when its
Comment [AB19]: good, this section is very clear. I like this statement you make. However, don’t romanticize the family in the next section---it is often the case that gangs form because families have failed. To gang involved kids, the gang IS their family-in many regards, if we look at what family provides: support, understanding, sense of belonging, protection—especially when these things are absent in a traditional family (maybe abusive parents, absent parents, neglect, physical abuse, substance use and abuse, etc…)
7 wrong. Overall, gangs cannot be stopped because there are always people who refuse to follow the law. Gang member’s minds can never be changed because once they are in their own mind frame; it is hard to get them out. allowed.
6.) There are six “focal concerns” of the lower class culture which consist of: Trouble, Toughness, Smartness, Excitement, Fate, and Autonomy. Trouble involves encounter with an authority figure, the police, or a bureaucratic personnel. For men, it includes problems with fighting, and/ or sexual activity, accompanied by a drinking problem. For women, it involves sexual activity. Toughness is characterized as physical prowess, strength, and masculinity traits like bravery and sexual skills. Smartness is the ability to outwit someone through mental activities. Excitement is the thrill that people get especially though, sex, alcohol, gambling, and a “night on the town”. Fate, which is the feeling that our own future is out of our hands and that it is beyond anyone’s control. Autonomy represents a very strong desire on the lower class people to be independent of external controls. The “focal concern” that I will choose to compare with entertainment is Trouble. Most of us have witnessed rap videos to their fullest. They show a consistent relation to sex, contact with the police, and violence. One good example would be the video to Smack That by Akon. While viewing this video, we see that Akon starts off in a jail cell which clearly shows that he has been involved in some kind of act of crime. This crime could
Comment [AB20]: you end on a moralistic tone about right and wrong---the question asked you to describe one of the terms on the list and show me how you could apply it logically and consistently to the events described in the article. You fail to do that—instead, you describe why and how gangs are bad. If your term is subculture, you should focus on why you think so (given your definition) and what evidence you have IN THE ARTICLE, to support this claim. It may be that you rethink your choice of term to apply and define that might be more in line with your discussion you provide, It might be less work. Just a suggestion.
8 have been gang related, he could have committed a crime of which we do not know, or he could have been involved in some sexual activity. During the clip, we see that he leaves the jail and that he goes to a nightclub in which we see all these half naked women dancing either next to him or with him which clearly shows that he probably has had some kind of interference with sex and sexual related activities. He then is caught in a fist fight with the boss of this club and has to use violence to escape this man who wants to hurt him. By broadcasting this on television, it makes younger children believe that they are able to think and act in the same sort of manner. Children can be highly influential, so allowing this type of entertainment on television is an easy way for kids to access it. If kids watch this continuously, it will lead them to believe that it is the correct way to go about life and that there is no consequences to their actions. “cool”. Watching this continuously will capture the attention of some children and they will eventually want to try and lead a lifestyle such as those in these videos. trouble. While under the influence of these videos, they believe that engaging in these types of delinquent activities will bring them fortune and women but in reality, it will only bring them the opposite. Sex, when referring to delinquency in women, is also present in these videos. In this clip, there are not only women that are half naked but also strippers. This simple shows that women are treated like objects and not people. This kind of content is inappropriate for youngsters to watch because they are so innocent that they don’t know that it is wrong. For them to stay protected, it is suggested that children don’t watch this kind of entertainment on television.
Comment [AB21]: I would like you to be more consistent,. You start off with rap music then go to TV then finally seem to settle on rap videos---I think you could be more convincing and “in control” of your answer if you were to establish one way of referring to this and sticking to it. Otherwise, you seem unable to direct your own thoughts and comments on the topic at hand,. Comment [AB22]: Eventually turn to delinquency? Everyone? That seems a bit stark, no? How can you soften this? Perhaps “This could result” “Can potentially result, among other influences or inducements” or “Has the potential to validate a criminal career as….” Something, but again, avoid the all or nothing determinism that seems to pervade your paper.