May 27, 2021
Splash DOWN Q LGBT Atlanta Plunges into Memorial Day
Find All of Atlanta’s Best Holi-gay Weekend Events Ways to Support Local LGBTQ Artists & Makers Feel Your Way Through Busting Sexual Hangups
Deep DIVE THE FIRST SPLASH of summer arrives with this issue, and
like the rest of LGBTQ Atlanta, we here at Q ATLus couldn’t possibly be more ready for it.
More than the summer heat, the skin-baring attire and the lazy, hazy days, we need the release that comes over Memorial Day
Weekend. Of course, that is exponentially more relevant this year. Find local and regional gay getaways on our Q Travel pages and in Q Events.
10 Q Things finds ways you can help individual artists and makers who are poking their heads out and coming back to active life.
In Q Community, special Stonewall Month plans are taking shape. In Q News and Q Shots, gay voters are already being courted.
What does that leave? Reach down and touch yourself in Q Advice, then hit us up every day on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on our Project Q Atlanta home page at theQatl.com.
RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & SALES RICHARD@THEQATL.COM 404-917-9678 JOHN NAIL ART DIRECTOR JOHN@THEQATL.COM
MIKE FLEMING EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM RIVENDELL MEDIA NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 theQatl.com 5
INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 4 ISSUE 27
M AY 2 7, 2 0 2 1
HIS WAY
Mr. Brown Steps in the Ring
COVER
18
11
Traveling On
Regional Gay Getaways
8
13
10 Q THINGS
COMMUNITY
Ways to Support LGBTQ Artists
Stonewall Month Special Events
Artsy
10 Q Things................. 8 Q News...................... 11 Q Events.................... 21 Q Shots...................... 23 Q Map........................ 26 Q Advice.................... 29 6 theQatl.com
June Bug
Q SHOTS
Hi, Felicia
Mayoral Candidate Reaches Out
23
Q
10 THINGS
From th 10 ways to support the local LGBTQ arts IT’S COMMON TO LEAN on and expect makers and creators to just do what they do, but here are ways to respect their work and help them thrive. Yes, pulling out your wallet is on the list, but that’s just the beginning of support that local queer artists and crafts people can take to the bank. Buy from and hire local living artists, artisans, writers, filmmakers performers and creators of all kinds.
Provide artists with good reviews and like, share comment on their social media posts.
Volunteer your time, resources and skills to organizations that support the arts.
Attend art events, theatrical performances, galleries and museums. Take your friends.
Pick up & download books, podcasts, new releases and support materials from musicians and artists you like.
Donate to non-profit arts education.
Write, call and lobby lawmakers and school officials to keep the arts a priority in education.
Forge partnerships with artists to support your efforts and promote their work at the same time.
Ask! a creator how you can help.
Sources: americansforthearts.com, artworkarchive.cm, lightspacetime.art, culturualpolicies.net 8 theQatl.com
e ART Photo from the film Kiki.
theQatl.com 9
Happy with your
GENES?
Consider Liposuction of your chest, abdomen, and love handles for the perfect fit!
3964 Atlanta Road • Smyrna, GA 30080 • 679-370-9854 • www.doctorjeffords.com
Male Enhancement • NeoGraft Scarless Hair Transplants • Gynecomastia • Liposuction • Facial Surgery Laser Hair Reduction • CO 2 Fractional Laser
“TOP DOCTOR” –Atlanta Magazine
Keith Jeffords, MD
Board Certified, American Board of Plastic Surgery
10 theQatl.com
NEWS
Q
It’s
COMPLICATED PHOTO BY MATT HENNIE
City Council member Antonio Brown wants to be Atlanta’s first LGBTQ mayor By Matt Hennie ATLANTA CITY COUNCIL MEMBER ANTONIO Brown formally announced his campaign for mayor on May 14, launching an effort that if successful would make him the city’s first-ever LGBTQ mayor. Brown, 36, faces a complicated path to the mayor’s office. He joins a growing field of candidates that bring deep ties and pockets to the race while staring down a federal indictment for fraud. Brown — standing on the steps of City Hall and flanked by dozens of supporters — called on
voters to help him “reimagine Atlanta.” “I ask that you join me as we begin the journey of reimagining Atlanta together — a journey to create an inclusive ecosystem that reimagines public safety and empowers safe communities, improves our transportation and our crumbling infrastructure, provides quality jobs and affordable housing while recognizing the needs of our most vulnerable residents, our youth, our seniors, our LGBTQ+ community, our working middle class and our unsheltered population,” Brown said. Brown became the first Black LGBTQ member of the Atlanta City Council in 2019. Since he took office, Brown has been at the center of a flurry of progressive proposals, and organized several racial justice protests last summer as he helped launch the People’s Uprising. theQatl.com 11
BROWN continued “So know that I’m not a perfect person, nor have I ever pretended to be. We don’t need perfect politicians. We need empathy. We need solutions. We need safer communities. We need jobs. We need affordable housing. We need vision. We need new ideas. And we need change, sweeping change,” he said.
“The people of this city will no longer ask for a seat at the table. They have awakened to the realization that they are the table, and that the elected officials are merely invited guests to have a seat at that table with them,” Brown said. “Now, I feel a moral obligation to do my part to continue moving us forward on this path to social justice,” he added.
‘I AM ABSOLUTELY INNOCENT’ In June 2020, Brown led a march through Midtown celebrating Pride and the 51st anniversary of the Stonewall Riots while calling for justice and equality for Black transgender people. A few weeks later, a federal grand jury indicted him on seven fraud charges. Prosecutors allege that he faked loan documents to buy a Mercedes C300 and a Range Rover. The case has been slowed by the coronavirus pandemic, but an evidentiary hearing was held in April. During his announcement speech, Brown called the criminal case an effort to “divide and distract us.” “So let me clear that up right now, once and for all. I am absolutely innocent,” he said. “Let me repeat that. I am absolutely innocent. Furthermore, let me state unequivocally Atlanta deserves a mayor with honesty and integrity. And I would not be running for mayor if I felt any concern about the outcome of this case.” Brown also said elected officials don’t need to be perfect but do need to bring fresh ideas to addressing problems in the city. 12 theQatl.com
Brown is one of four openly LGBTQ people ever elected to the city council, starting with Cathy Woolard in 1998. He would be the city’s first LGBTQ mayor. Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms said on May 6 that she decided against re-election, a surprise move that opened the race to a growing field of candidates. City Council President Felicia Moore launched her mayoral campaign in January, pledging to advocate for the city’s LGBTQ residents and address the city’s beleaguered HIV housing program. On Wednesday, Moore made her pitch directly to LGBTQ supporters. Attorney Sharon Gay is also running, along with City Council member Andre Dickens. Former Mayor Kasim Reed is seriously considering seeking a third term. Jason Carter, a former state lawmaker and gubernatorial nominee, and former Atlanta City Council member and mayoral candidate Mary Norwood are also reportedly considering the race. Brown brings a powerful personal narrative to the race that could appeal to the city’s marginalized residents. “I, too, am the rest of Atlanta. I grew up in poverty, with my parents in and out of prison. I dropped out of high school at age 15 to bag groceries to support my family, and was even homeless at one point in my life,” Brown said. “However, through God and faith and self-determination, I could see that there was greatness on the other side of the mountain. And I rose above my adversities to become a successful CEO, and a city councilman,” he added. Read more on the mayor’s race and other local news of LGBTQ interest on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.
It’s ON Atlanta Pride, Braves, more
add Stonewall Month events By Mike Fleming 2021 JUST KEEPS LOOKING UP. ATLANTA’S
COMMUNITY “Is this a Dance Party? No, this is similar to an
Q
‘Adults Night Out at the Museum.’ Guests will
tour the Aquarium with cocktails included – so no cash is exchanged – at an extremely reduced capacity,” the announcement said.
Expect pandemic protocols, about 75 percent fewer people than the Pride Weekend aquarium event,
three cocktails with your admission, plus music by local gay DJs Seth Breezy and Ree De La Vega.
post-pandemic Pride Month calendar adds some
BASEBALL, YOU BET
ty-cautious return to semi normalcy.
2020, a biggie might be the opportunity to add to
old favorites and new events to celebrate a safeThe growing list of LGBTQ events – with the virtual Evening For Equality on June 17 and the in-person Atlanta Pride Run & Walk on
June 20 already slated – now includes an Atlanta
Pride party at Georgia Aquarium, plus two Pride
Nights, one with the Atlanta Braves and one with its Triple-A affiliate the Gwinnett Stripers.
Among the plethora of things you missed during your Atlanta Braves rainbow gear. Years past of
Pride Night with the Braves brought the branded hat, the other logo hat, and the shirt.
What you didn’t know you needed but now totally do: the 2021 Pride Night cooler tote bag.
The event takes place at Truist Park on June 15, when the Braves take on the Boston Red Sox.
Pride Night tickets include the bag and a pre-party at the Coca-Cola
Roxy. A portion of ticket sales goes to Lost N Found Youth.
Braves minor-league affiliate the
Gwinnett Stripers get in on the Pride
action even earlier. When you buy June 4 tickets at Cool Ray Stadium, use the code GPRIDE for both a discount
and, if 2019 was a clue, a cool hat too.
MORE PRIDE STUFF IN JUNE? We have our ear to the ground and PHOTO BY PATRICK SAUNDERS
Atlanta Braves Pride Night 2019.
are working to confirm at least one
other local pro sports franchise hold-
Atlanta Pride announced a fresh twist on a tried-
ing a Pride Month event. More sporty swag in
Out Night at Georgia Aquarium is different in
Out Night at the Aquarium tickets are at georgiaaquar-
and-true idea: an aquarium party on June 25. But many ways than the raucous annual Pride Kickoff Party. Pride calls it a “softer, lighter and more exclusive version” of that event.
your future? Sources say yes.
ium.com. Braves Pride Night tickets are at mlb.com/
braves/tickets/specials/pride. Stripers Pride Night tickets are at milb.com/gwinnett/tickets/ticket-specials.
theQatl.com 13
Q
IN BRIEF
Mayoral candidate Felicia Moore greets LGBTQ supporters
ATLANTA CITY COUNCIL PRESIDENT FELICIA Moore made a campaign stop at X Midtown on May 12 to shore up LGBTQ support and raise
funds in her race to become the city’s next mayor. The Midtown bar rolled out the red carpet for attendees hosted by local attorney Robert L.
Stewart. He introduced Moore for a few com-
ments, and she took questions from the crowd. With 23 years of experience on City Council, including three as council president, she leads a growing pack of candidates in a wide-open
race after current Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms dropped out of the race.
PHOTO BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD
Felicia Moore at X Midtown on April 12.
then. Other potential mayoral candidates include former Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed, former state senator and gubernatorial nominee Jason Carter
Attorney Sharon Gay and (openly queer) cartoon-
and former Atlanta City Council member and
when Bottoms withdrew. City Council members
Brown is the council’s most progressive and only
ist Alex Barrella were already declared candidates Andre Dickens, as well as Antonio Brown (Dis-
trict 3) have declared their intentions to run since
mayoral candidate Mary Norwood.
sitting LGBTQ member. See coverage of his cam-
paign, and photos from Moore’s event, in this issue.
Latina trans woman shot and killed in Brookhaven 36-YEAR-OLD SOPHIE ARRIETA VASQUEZ was shot and killed in a Brookhaven apartment on May 4 and became at least the second trans woman killed in metro Atlanta in 2021. Police found her body on May 4 in the doorway of
Police recovered five shell casings and three
bullets from a .380 caliber handgun, according to an incident report from the Brookhaven Police
Department. The police report said Vasquez was not a resident of that apartment, but community
an apartment in the 400 building at Atlantic
activists told Project Q that Vasquez did live in
mont Drive is near Clairmont Road just south of
The case is under investigation and was not
Brookhaven. The apartment complex on Windits intersection with Buford Highway.
the complex.
listed as a hate crime based on details the police
would not release. An 18-year-old suspect, Pedro Silva-Renteria of Norcross, was later identified with whereabouts unknown.
Police declined to release possible motive or other details about Vasquez’s killing, though Project Q is working to find out more. PHOTO VIA FACEBOOK
Sophie Vasquez
14 theQatl.com
Read the latest on these and other local LGBTQ
news stories on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.
Q
TRAVEL
Clear
Memorial Weekend getaways for LGBTQ Atlantans By Mike Fleming
GRAND VACATIONS ARE GREAT, BUT OUR gay neighbors across the region are ready and able to help weekenders relax, refresh and recharge. Bigger trips to far-flung destinations may be in the cards further out, but warm weather and a long weekend mean that it’s officially time for regional road trips. Nothing will get you in the summer spirit better than flying your rainbow colors. Here’s our quick guide to the queerest destinations this weekend. You don’t have to go far to feel like you’re a world away. 18 theQatl.com
Sexacola Beach May 27 – May 31 sexacolabeach.com
Hosted by Atlanta’s own My Sister’s Room, this all-out blast features thousands of lesbian and gay attendees over four beachy days and four ladies’ nights in Pensacola, Fl at Cap’t Fun. 18+ admitted, 21+ to drink, rain or shine. Memorial Weekend Pensacola May 28 – May 30 johnnychisholm.com With an even longer history of queers on the sands of Pensy, gay bar owner and promoter Johnny Chisholm corrals the queens with DJ beats by day and night. Daily and nightly beach and dance parties with DJs including Joe Gauthreaux, Dan Slater, Roland Belmares, Will Lowe and Joe Ross.
OUT
Memorial Weekend at Timberfell May 27 – May 31 Greenville, Tenn. timberfell.com
Memorial Weekend at River’s Edge May 28 – May 31 Dewy Rose, Ga. camptheriversedge.com
Memorial plans at this gay men’s campground are stacking up as much as the campsite and cabin reservations. Music, parties, cookouts and mountain air are waiting.
Clothing is optional, but fun is not. The kitchen has meals planned, and events around the pool, around the fire, in the hot tub and on the dance floor.
Festival of Colors at Roy’s Hideaway May 28 – May 31 Collins, Ga. royshideaway.com This campground flies its rainbow freedom flag with daily, nightly and afterhours parties. Fun in the sun includes carnival games, camper crawl and male revue.
One Magical Weekend June 2- 6 Orlando, Fl. onemagicalweekend.com OK, so technically it’s not Memorial Day at all, but you may need an extra week to prepare yourself. Orlando opens wide for one of the biggest circuit parties still in existence. There are pumping beats, Red Shirt Day at Disney World, and so much more. theQatl.com 19
20 theQatl.com
Q Events
The Best LGBTQ Things to Do in Atlanta This Week
DJ Morabito
SATURDAY, MAY 29
Xion, 3 a.m. – 7 a.m. facebook.com/xionatlanta
Big Peach The 35th anniversary of the most popular gay softball tournament brings teams from around the country @ Johnson Park & V-Plex, all day and Sunday too. hslbigpeach.org
The weekend goes long, so you can too. End your Saturday night spinning in Sunday morning @ T-Dance Barbecue DJ Mike Pope takes things outside for flame-grilled goodness, and Big Peach teams wind down their weekend to the beat @ Heretic, 3 p.m. – 9 p.m. hereticatlanta.com DJ Kidd Madonny The Miami heartthrob keeps the party vibe going into the night @ Heretic, 9 p.m. hereticatlanta.com
TUESDAY, JUNE 1 Chunk Big boys get some love with DJs Cake and Dicap, plus hot go-go bears @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com Charis Porch Pop-Up
It’s Not a Burden Michele Boyaner and her partner Barbara Green bring this intimate, humorous and heartfelt documentary about adults caring for their aging parents @ On Demand, all month. greeniefilms.com
Special deals outside with the trans- and lesbian-led booksellers @ Charis Books & More, 12 noon – 4 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com
SUNDAY, MAY 30 AquaPOP Your poolside looks are requested at a sexy new pool party featuring DJs Brynn Taylor and Mike Trotter @ District Atlanta, 3 p.m. – 8 p.m. facebook.com/beBOLDatl
Find an expanded calendar of weekend events every Thursday at theQatl.com. theQatl.com 21
marketing heroes. we are your courageous brand champions in a world full of villains, leading your business on a path towards exciting new quests.
web design / social media / branding / graphic design / advertising lgbt certified
22 theQatl.com
valiantmarketing.com facebook instagram linkedin @valiantmktg
FELICIA MOORE CAMPAIGN AT X MIDTOWN
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
Q SHOTS
PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD
theQatl.com 23
on tA ve .N E dm Pi e
4
9
11th St. NE
8
10th St. NE
Amsterdam Ave.
Dr. N E
Piedmont Park
14th St. NE
12th St. NE
12
Mon roe
West Peachtree St. NE
E
75
t. N eS tre
85
ach Pe
Spring St. NW
Q Atlus Map
10 5
Virginia Ave. NE
1 9th St. NE
227 10th St. NE 2. Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE 3. Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 4. My Sister’s Room 84 12th St 5. X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE 6. Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
24 theQatl.com
Bars
Restaurants North Ave. NW
North Ave. NW
Clubs Retail/Services
Not Shown
Future (opening soon) 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180
8. Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE
Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE
9. Joe’s onRalph Juniper McGill Blvd. NE 1049 Juniper St NE
Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE
10. Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE Highland Ave. NE 11. Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Eagle) 12. Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
The T 465 Boulevard SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE
Ponce De Leon Pl. NE
3
Key
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
7. Flex 76 4th St NW
Ponce De Leon Pl. NE
r. NE roe D Mon
Charles Allen Dr. NE
11 6
St. Charles Ave.
Glen Iris Dr. NE
1. Blakes on the Park
NE
NE
Piedmont Park
Piedmont Ave.
Spring St. NW
7
2 Juniper St. NE
85
Peachtree St.
75
West Peachtree St. NE
8th St. NE
Lin
dbe
rgh
Dr.
1
E
be
Lidde ll D
Ch
6
7 re
i esh
11
ne
rR d.
E r. N
2
ulk
9 NE
5 4
Leno x Rd .
Lam
Manchester Rd. NE
Dr.
Fa
ircle NE nt C mo d e Pi
P
Rd. N
10
NE
las
ista
85
rt
ve. sA ter
Lav
Alco S t. NE
Piedmont Ave. NE
3
NE
8 E
d. N eR
dg
Bri
Key
Bars Restaurants Clubs Retail/Services
Cheshire Bridge Road 5. The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
9. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
2. Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE
6. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
10. Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
3. Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE
7. Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
11. Tokyo Valentino (Cheshire Bridge) 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
4. BJ Rooster’s 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
8. 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
nr Mo
3
5
Pied
4. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
tA ve .N E on ed m
r. NE
Pi
5. Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 6. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
D Monroe
Piedmont Park
1. Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
3. Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
8
6
Ansley Park 2. The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE
E
4
r. N
7
D oe
2 1
Morningside Dr. NE
mon t
Ave. NE
1. Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE
Key
Bars Restaurants Clubs Retail/Services
7. Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 8. Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE
theQatl.com 25
Q Atlus Map Directory The businesses on the preceding pages are integral parts of Atlanta’s LGBTQ landscape. Those listed in boxes are consistent Q partners and community allies. BARS, CLUBS & RESTAURANTS Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Future 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Mama’s Cocina 1958 Piedmont Road NE Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE My Sister’s Room 84 12th St Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
26 theQatl.com
Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE
Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW The T 465 Boulevard SE Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE
RETAIL & SERVICES 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Atlanta Eagle) Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thrift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
ADULT Flex 76 4th St NW Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Starship Galaxy/Starship Novelties 2273 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Tokyo Valentino 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
Q Advice
TOUCH
Q
Yourself
When it comes to sex, I may be too specific about exactly what I want, and too dismissive about what I don’t want. A former boyfriend of mine who became a friend later says that it’s weird how I’m only into giving oral and just not into it when he tries to reciprocate, or when anyone suggests another activity. I honestly don’t care if anything besides oral ever happens, yet other guys can’t cum without “everything else.” I’m amazing at giving pleasure, but why can’t I care enough to do what every other guy wants?
hobble home over my blue balls until I can get the job done in private.
Dear Mouthy:
Some people get offended — or worse, sad and confused – when they can’t be part of getting me off. I can prepare for the moment all day, but when the time comes, I can’t get there.
Don’t stress about wanting what you want. Humans are remarkably diverse in their sexual triggers. So you’re fixated on oral, but “everything else” is not “what everyone else wants. All earthlings do not leave you grappling with this alien issue because you are terminally unique. You’re not. Your friend and some other people like what they like, but your own sexual match(es) are out there — in droves. Still, as much as there is nothing wrong with having preferences, there’s no harm in adding to your roster of moves. Don’t do it for your partners; do it to expand your own horizons. Ease into other climaxes through masturbation, when there’s no pressure to please anyone but yourself. Look at and imagine scenes that give you a full view of what you desire but new stimuli as well. Over time, increase the “other stuff ” and decrease the oral visuals.
Q
I can’t orgasm when I’m with someone, but I’m Geyser McFountain when I’m alone. I can’t tell you how many times I stop trying, get the other person where they’re going sexually, then
Dear Solo: “Ejaculatory incompetence” is like being pee shy. When someone else is looking, the floodgates run dry. So relax. “Preparing for the moment all day” may be psyching you out. Enjoy the sex without the grand finale in mind. Just like I told Mouthy above, the cure might come via masturbation. Include stimulation in which the person is looking right at you, then slowly increase the ratio of that imagery. You could even get a fellow experimenter to masturbate with you while facing away or blindfolded. Have them look at you once your orgasm has started but not early enough to stop it. Gradually introduce their gaze earlier in the process. It takes time, but the meantime could be super fun. Key words: No pressure! The Q is for entertainment, not counseling. Send burning Qs to mike@theQatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON
theQatl.com 29