July 23, 2020
Surviving & Thriving the Corona Chaos
Hang Tough
Woofs & Gravity Take COVID by the Horns
Re-Imagining the ATL with a Defunded APD
So He’s Older, But He Still Ain’t My Daddy
I take Pride in helping everyone.
Jesse Watts, Realtor®
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Community means everything. Cleo Meyer, Agent 1776 Peachtree St NE Atlanta, GA 30309 Bus: 404-817-0960 cleo@cleomeyer.com
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4 theQatl.com
Hang TIME THERE’S SO MUCH HANGING — in, on, out, tight, loose… — in
LGBTQ Atlanta these days. With a cover guy to illustrate the point literally, this issue of Q Atlus hangs with readers to navigate the slow burn of corona chaos. Q Voices hangs tight with the issue of police reform as writer Tyler Scruggs outlines his list of grievances and shortcomings in Atlanta’s response so far. Q News does the same with gay Gwinnett Commissioner Ben Ku and the county’s new employment non-discrimination ordinance, as well as HRC’s pick for U.S. Senate in Georgia, Jon Ossoff. In our cover package, we hang in there with Rad at Urban Body, Gregory at Woofs and the Gravity Guys. All of them are making business happen against challenges that would have seemed inconceivable this time last year. As always, we hang loose during downtime in Q Events and offer the Q Map of places that set aside space specifically for our community. Q Advice then hangs onto relationships worth saving to wrap this edition. When you’ve absorbed all that, hang with us for more content online every day on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com, and reach out to our editor about future coverage at mike@theQatl.com.
RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & SALES RICHARD@THEQATL.COM 404-917-9678 JOHN NAIL ART DIRECTOR JOHN@THEQATL.COM
MIKE FLEMING EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM RIVENDELL MEDIA NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 theQatl.com 5
INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 3 ISSUE 2 3
J U LY 2 3 , 2 0 2 0
TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
10 LGBTQ Slurs Flipped & Reversed
18 COVER
10
Hanging in There Gay Businesses Strive to Survive
24
Q VOICES
8
Police Presence
Why 8 Can’t Wait Isn’t Enough Q NEWS
13 Q Voices.............................. 8 10 Q Things...................... 10 Q Events........................... 24 Q Map.............................. 26 Q Advice........................... 30 6 theQatl.com
Gwinnett Gays
County Protects its LGBTQ Workers
30 Q EVENTS
Pencil Us In Virtual and IRL events this week
QRe-imagining Q VOICES
POLICE
Maybe 8 couldn’t wait, but it’s far from enough
ATLANTA CITY COUNCIL HAS UNANIMOUSLY backed, and Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms has enacted, the remaining law enforcement policies it lacked from the 8 Can’t Wait viral campaign you probably saw in your Instagram stories amid recent global outrage and activism. The proposals assert that decreasing the use of force can decrease police killings. Simple enough, right? Sort of like how wine and dark chocolate can reduce cholesterol — the science is solid, but one basic principle probably won’t fix America’s heart problems.
who believe that any interaction with police can become life-threatening. The role of the police in America deserves questioning, especially when considering its funding. Just because police are doing what they’re told doesn’t mean they’re doing something right and are not culpable if they aren’t. The question cannot be how to reduce police killings but, “How do we eliminate them?” Now 8 Can’t Wait has a direct response from 8 To Abolition. Its demands stretch further than even Campaign Zero’s idealistic initial policies. They assert that 8 Can’t Wait is “dangerous and irresponsible, offering a slate of reforms that have already been tried and failed,” going further to say they mislead the public and ignore the actual needs of criminalized communities.
Assuming that police killings are inevitable is defeatist, unproductive thinking. We need to widen our imagination to what’s possible. The militarization of the police, especially in contrast to healthcare workers in the pandemic, is why “Defund the Police” makes so much sense.
8 Can’t Wait reforms sound obvious. They also fall short of TYLER the original ten Campaign Zero SCRUGGS — “zero” as in zero lives lost to police — proposals that ranged Once it’s believed that there’s no from de-militarization of police to decriminalizing acceptable ratio of citizens killed by police in a civnon-violent and “moral” offenses. With APD’s budget ilized world, the paradigm shifts. If we wish to live going nowhere and abolition deemed too extreme, is in a world of radical nonviolence, we must imagine anything actually going to change? a world without police brutality or mass incarceraBlack Lives Matter — the bare-minimum belief that black people have the same right to life, liberty and happiness as every other American — has reached new heights in the public consciousness. Campaign Zero has normalized vital, life-saving police reform policies like body cameras and police accountability, but there’s a long way to go. With a stream of new footage and new collective trauma with each killing at the hands of the state, changes shouldn’t have to wait. My concern lies with the toxic normalization of citizen fatalities at the hands of police, and the assertion that it is an inevitability. When you’re a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Training police to believe that any interaction with citizens could become lethal results in citizens 8 theQatl.com
tion and encourage others to imagine it with us. Crime is low not because the people are better, but because patterns of poverty and injustice that cause it are addressed. Police will never be the way to end crime, so why is Atlanta giving a third of its total budget to the police department? The state acts as if it has the right to injure or kill citizens that it’s not also willing to medically insure. My plea is simple: imagine better. Visit 8toabolition.com and joincampaignzero.com Tyler Scruggs is a writer, musician, and millennial swashbuckler in Atlanta. Twitter @TylerScruggs or Instagram @Scruggernaut
Q Reclaiming 10 THINGS
OUR TIME 10 formerly derogatory words LGBTQs have reclaimed as our own By Mike Fleming SLURS ARE HURTFUL. WHEN WE USE THEM as a term of endearment or twist the concepts, we remove their power and shift their meanings in our favor.
m
e
Flamers Fe m 10 theQatl.com
Queer
Fruit Fly
Fairy
Queen
Lipstick Lesbian
PANSY
HOMO
theQatl.com 11
When
PERFORMANCE counts,
CALL ME.
678-982-7022 kylestevens@atlantafinehomes.com kstevensrealestate.com @kylestevens_realtor
12 theQatl.com
Q Making CHANGE NEWS
Gwinnett adopts protections for its LGBTQ employees By Patrick Saunders
A GAY GWINNETT COUNTY COMMISSIONER led the successful charge to enact employment protections for the county’s LGBTQ workers two weeks before the U.S. Supreme Court did the same at the federal level. The measure adds sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression to Gwinnett County’s nondiscrimination policy, according to Commissioner Ben Ku. It narrowly passed 3 to 2 at the commission’s June 2 meeting. Commissioners Jace Brooks and Tommy Hunter voted against the change, according to the minutes of the meeting. “It really is a matter of clarity,” Ku told Project Q Atlanta. “We had this language in six different
“It really is a matter of clarity. ...[Now it] explicitly calls out sexual orientation and gender — both expression and identity.”
places, and it was written six different ways. So part
— Commissioner Ben Ku
of that effort was really just to get it uniform, consistent and clear. It explicitly calls out sexual orienta-
nobody asked, and I’m sure there are people on staff
tion and gender — both expression and identity.”
who would have loved that,” he said. “But there was
Ku’s comments came during the July 10 episode of
just never a commissioner to actually ask for that.”
Q Conversations with three LGBTQ elected officials
Being younger, LGBTQ and non-white has posed
navigating the changing political tides in Gwinnett
some challenges and some opportunities on the
County. The episode included Ku, state Rep. Sam Park
commission, Ku added.
and Gwinnett School Board member Everton Blair.
“The youth is the biggest differentiator, then race,
Ku made protections for LGBTQ county workers
then the LGBTQ thing just becomes icing on the
a priority after taking office in December 2018. He
cake,” he said.
is the commission’s first openly LGBTQ and first
During the Q Conversations episode, leaders said
Asian-American member. Another successful effort, a Pride proclamation in 2019 from the commission, proved the significance of having LGBTQ representation, he said. “The reason that we hadn’t done one before is that
their intersectional identities are secondary to simply wanting to do good in their communities. Ku and his father, a bioengineering professor at Georgia Tech, created an online crowdsourcing tool to help track the spread of coronavirus in Gwinnett. theQatl.com 13
Q
IN BRIEF
Urban Body Fitness works out how to work out safely URBAN BODY FITNESS HAS lost a third of its clients and laid off all of its instructors, but the gym’s out owner is determined to get through the pandemic while providing a safe space to get fit. The gym closed March 19 following Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms’ order that shuttered many in-person venues. It had a soft reopening for trainers and clients on April 29 with a maximum capacity of 16. Thhe gym then reopened to all members on May 2 with a number of new safety precautions. Visitors are required to wash their hands upon entering, get their temperatures checked, grab a Lysol bottle to spray down the equipment after use and practice social distancing. “They’re real good about cleaning, and we have some six-foot by eightfoot areas for benches,” Slough said. “When you put your bottle in it, it’s your space. No one goes into that space until you clean it up and take your bottle back up.” Only 35 people are allowed in the 14,000-square-foot gym at one time, Slough said. “I want to make sure we’re giving them a safe environment to work out in,” he said. “Because if it’s safe for my members, it’s safe for my staff. That’s huge. We’re a health facility.” News briefs by Patrick Saunders. Visit theQatl.com daily for fresh local news and community stories.
14 theQatl.com
Jon Ossoff
HRC endorses Jon Ossoff in tight U.S. Senate race THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN ON JULY 15 endorsed “true ally” Jon Ossoff in his quest to unseat U.S. Sen. David Perdue and turn Georgia blue in November. “In the Senate, I’ll fight for equal rights and equal protection for all Americans and proudly support the Equality Act, which will expand federal anti-discrimination protections to include gender and sexual orientation,” Ossoff said in a press release. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has refused to allow a vote on the Equality Act despite broad support from the American public, according to HRC. Ossoff also pledged to defend same-sex marriage and the rights of same-sex couples to adopt, oppose attempts to ban LGBTQ service members, strengthen anti-bullying programs for LGBTQ youth and defend transgender rights if elected. He won the Democratic primary in June. The candidate stirred LGBTQ excitement during his 2017 campaign for the 6th Congressional District seat. He lost to Karen Handel in the most expensive U.S. House race in history. He told Project Q in September that he would stand up for LGBTQ people if he beats Perdue this November. “I am a resolute and unwavering ally of the LGBT community,” he said. Polling data aggregator RealClearPolitics rates the Ossoff-Perdue race a tossup.
Q
BUSINESS
PHOTO BY RUSSELL BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD
18 theQatl.com
Power PLAY Gravity Fitness owners and clients press through pandemic By Patrick Saunders LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS AFTER AARON Pols, David Goldstein and Ken Penvose bought Gravity Fitness, they faced their first big test as owners — a pandemic temporarily shutting the gym down. They closed a day before Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms’ March 19 order that shuttered every one of the city’s bars, clubs, gyms, movie theaters and other in-person venues. “It was the first really big decision that we had to make,” Pols (photo center, with Goldstein and Penvose) told Project Q Atlanta. The LGBTQ favorite gym reopened in May with a battery of new precautions to keep members and staff safe. There’s a 25-person limit with visits by reservation only, temperature checks at the door, masked employees and an increased number of sanitation stations. Members also receive spray bottles to clean equipment after use, and the staff cleans the spray bottles and yoga mats between each use. “The gym has never been cleaner,” Pols said. “Our cleaning crew’s job has probably gotten easier. You could slide off some of this stuff it’s so clean.” Gravity also instituted a mask requirement for visitors about a month before Bottoms issued a citywide mask mandate.
“We knew it was the right decision,” Pols said. “It’s ended up being great for us, because a lot of people have chosen to join us because of the mask policy.” I get stopped and thanked constantly, at least a couple times a day, for all the protocols we’re doing. People will tell you the mask policy is the only reason they’re there.” The response from members has been “overwhelmingly good,” and business has not been significantly impacted by the pandemic, he continued. “We’re definitely down from where we had been, but I couldn’t be more pleased with how we’ve navigated so far from that perspective,” Pols said. “I see no reason why we couldn’t come out of this even better.” Gravity received a Payroll Protection Program loan from the federal Small Business Administration, which allowed the owners to keep nearly all of their employees. The facility’s landlord also deferred some of the rent, and the owners put off getting their first paychecks since taking over the business. “We’re like, ‘You know, it would be better to keep this money in the bank, who knows how long the shutdown will last?’” Pols said. “So we weren’t able to get paid as owners, but we were able to keep all of our employees paid.” Pols is more worried about the recent spike in infections than he is about a possible second wave in the fall. “But I don’t think we’re shutting down the economy as a whole a second time,” he said. This story is made possible through a grant from Facebook Journalism Project’s COVID-19 Local News Relief Fund. theQatl.com 19
PALS supports people in Atlanta who are elderly or who are living with or disabled due to a critical illness. We provide pet food and basic veterinary care for the pets of our clients, which enables them to keep their pets. You can support PALS by:
• Attending our monthly Drag •
• •
Queen Bingo fundraisers. Making PALS the beneficiary. of your Amazon Smile, Kroger Plus or Chewy.com accounts. Making a donation online. To learn more about PALS or to donate visit:
www.palsatlanta.org
Q
BUSINESS
G N O L & d r i h T gh u o r h t t s i s r pe e to t u l o s e r s f o les a Wo s n i p o r d 40 percent
PHOTOS ON THIS PAGE: RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD
theQatl.com 21
WOOFS continued ployees both have reacted positively to the precautions, Hughes said. “I told my employees that I want them to be careful even when they’re not working, because if an employee ends up positive, that affects 30 other people,” he said. “They realize it’s not just them that it affects if we have to shut down. They’ve really stepped up in a very great way. I’m very proud of them for doing that.”
By Patrick Saunders
Business increased when dine-in service restarted, but Hughes said sales are still down 30 to 40 percent from pre-pandemic receipts. Sales numbers changed for the worse yet again more recently.
THE OWNER OF ATLANTA’S GAY SPORTS bar worries that the recent spike in coronavirus cases will cause the state to shut down businesses completely for the second time in four months, but he and his employees are hanging tough. “If these numbers keep spiking, first they’ll close bars, then restaurants, and we’ll have to go back to takeout or be shut down for a while,” Gregory Hughes, owner of Woofs, told Project Q Atlanta. “We’re trying to plan for it and survive it, but there is a big concern that we’re not going in the right direction and the state may step in and start mandating closures,” he added. Woofs was one of the first LGBTQ-owned restaurants to offer takeout service when Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms banned in-person dining in March. The ban was lifted in late April, and Woofs restarted dine-in service in May with a number of safety precautions. “We check everyone’s temperature that comes in the door. We sanitize every area once a party is done. We have a bunch of hand sanitizer around the restaurant,” Hughes said. “We are functioning much more as a restaurant versus a bar. We’re asking people to not wander around. We have reduced the number of seating areas in our bar, and we’ve spaced out tables too.” Employees wear masks, and customers were asked to wear masks even before Bottoms issued a citywide mask mandate on Wednesday. Customers and em22 theQatl.com
“We’ve noticed a downward trend over the last two or three weeks,” he said. “We’re attributing that to the number of COVID cases going up and more and more customers are saying they’ll stay home.” Woofs received an Economic Injury Disaster Loan and a Payroll Protection Program loan from the federal Small Business Administration. That’s allowed them to keep nearly all of their employees, Hughes said. “Nobody’s back to their full hours though,” he said. “We cut back the number of hours that we’re open. So they’re still not working the number of hours they were working prior to COVID.” Woofs moved into their Plasters Avenue location from Piedmont Avenue exactly one year ago this week. This story is made possible through a grant from Facebook Journalism Project’s COVID-19 Local News Relief Fund. PHOTOS BY PATRICK SAUNDERS
Q Events
The Best LGBTQ Things to Do in Atlanta This Week THURSDAY, JULY 23 Cabana Fever #TGIT is online these days with DJ Deanne holding it down on your screened devices every week. Check her out every ThursGay courtesy Fuego Productions @ twitch.tv/djdeanne, 6 p.m.
FRIDAY, JULY 24
SATURDAY, JULY 25 Big Ass Telethon 3 Wussy and Queer Appalachia team again for a few hours of amazing entertainment by nationally renowned LGBTQ artists and activists @ twitch.tv/ endmetronormativity, 8 p.m. Sissy Jacob Tobia’s book subtitled A Coming of Gender Story is the topic of this month’s ATL LGBTQ Book Club via Charis Books & More. Join the online conversation @ Zoom, 10 a.m. charisbooksandmore.com Invest In Equality In honor of its former director Rev. Harry Knox, Georgia Equality gathers its peeps online to hear about his long career of advocacy and raise a virtual toast @ georgiaequality.org, 7 p.m.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 30 Queer Bait Mary’s is doing limited, ticketed entry but keeps its online party running for those staying home @ twitch.tv/marysatlanta, 9 p.m. Get there early for Happy Hour, 6 p.m.
The Butterfly Lampshade Author Aimee Bender discusses her new book with author Jessica Handler in a closed-captioned online conversation via Charis @ Zoom, 7:30 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com
FRIDAY, JULY 24 Friday BBQ Atlanta’s gay sports bar is going long for customers with in-person and to-go food and cocktails. Fridays are extra special with homesmoked barbecue and freshly spun sangria @ Woofs, all day. Read their survival story in this issue. woofsatlanta.com
24 theQatl.com
POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RAC CARDS CALENDARS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARD LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS LABELS FORMS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS CALENDARS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINES CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS LABELS FORMS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIE WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS CALEN DARS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLY ERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS LABELS FORMS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILING POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS CALENDARS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS LABELS FORMS POP-UP BANNERS TE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS CALENDARS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS LABELS FORMS POP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BRO CHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS 1080 WLETTERHEAD Peachtree Street / 8:30-5:00 M-FPOP-UP BANNERS TEE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS POSTCARDS RACKNW CARDS CALENDARS 404.480.8222 / mycreativeapproach.com TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL ART ENVELOPES LABELS @mycreativeapproach NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS LABELS FORMS POP-UP BANNERS TE SHIRTS BUSINESS CARDS TUMBLERS POSTERS BROCHURES BOOKLETS FLYERS FORMS COPIES WALL AR ENVELOPES LABELS NEWSLETTERS MAILINGS POSTCARDS LETTERHEAD RACK CARDS CALENDARS POP theQatl.com 25
we print CMYKLGBTQ+
ATLANTA'S ONLY LGBT CERTIFIED PRINTER.
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Q Atlus Map
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Bars
Restaurants North Ave. NW
North Ave. NW
Clubs Retail/Services
Not Shown
1. Amsterdam Cafe 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE
8. Flex 76 4th St NW
2. Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE
9. Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE
Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE
10. Joe’s on Juniper Ralph McGill Blvd. NE 1049 Juniper St NE
Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE
4. Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 5. My Sister’s Room 84 12th St
11. Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE Highland Ave. NE
6. X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE
12. Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Eagle)
7. Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
13. Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
26 theQatl.com
Future (Opens July 3) 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Glen Iris Dr. NE
3. Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE
4
The T 465 Boulevard SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE
Ponce De Leon Pl. NE
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Bars Restaurants Clubs Retail/Services
Cheshire Bridge Road 5. The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
9. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
2. Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE
6. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
10. Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
3. Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE
7. Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
11. Tokyo Valentino (Cheshire Bridge) 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
4. BJ Rooster’s 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
8. 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
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5. Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 6. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
D Monroe
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1. Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
3. Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
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7. Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 8. Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE
theQatl.com 27
Q Atlus Map Directory The businesses on the preceding pages are integral parts of Atlanta’s LGBTQ landscape. Those listed in boxes are consistent Q partners and community allies. BARS, CLUBS & RESTAURANTS Amsterdam Cafe 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Future 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Mama’s Cocina 1958 Piedmont Road NE Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE My Sister’s Room 84 12th St Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
28 theQatl.com
Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW The T 465 Boulevard SE Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE
RETAIL & SERVICES 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Atlanta Eagle) Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thrift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
ADULT Flex 76 4th St NW Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Starship Galaxy/Starship Novelties 2273 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Tokyo Valentino 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
Q Advice
Not Your
DADDY’S BOY Q I’m dating a guy 22 years older than me. I am gainfully employed and independent, but he insists on paying for everything. At first, I thought he was being unnecessarily generous, but when I insisted on picking up a check, he all but patted me on the head and called me princess. “Use your money to buy yourself things you want. I got this.” He might as well have stuffed a C-note in my crotch and told me to go buy myself something pretty. I think he sees me as subservient because of my age. Well, I am not the one. I do like the guy, but this has got to stop. Dear Boy Toy: Background, experience and plain old psychological issues can make it hard to let go of played-out stereotypes at any age. Dating and mating rituals developed over centuries are trouble enough for straight people, much less two men trying to relate. Try paying in advance. Buy movie tickets online and meet him at the door with his admission in hand. Pay the tab while he’s in the restroom and tell him it was your turn. If that doesn’t work or you feel it’s too sensitive a subject, just communicate. Bring it up, not in the moment, but in a neutral setting with no pressure. Exchange ideas, and see if you can work it out.
like he didn’t know how to prevent it. Don’t I deserve friends who are smarter than that? Dear Stigma: True friends love each other unconditionally, and they stick around, not bolt in tough times. I assume you’re scared and not a jerk, which makes your question more palatable. Your buddy is going to be OK once he gets a handle on his situation, so the only “terrible tragedy” to worry about is you leaving him stranded.
Finally, consider if you are subconsciously attracted to – and attracting – men who want to take care of you. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you know it’s happening and don’t let it override your own responsibilities and self worth.
Whether you approve or not, there are reasons people might stray from safer sex. Condoms can be cumbersome and distinctly not sexy. The heat of the moment, safe-sex fatigue or recreational substances might also influence decision-making. Maybe your friend weighed the risks and went there of his own volition.
Q
You’re right about one thing, though: Be angry. At HIV, not at your friend.
A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with HIV, and I couldn’t be angrier. I haven’t spoken to him since he told me, and I’m considering just letting the friendship die on the vine. I mean, it’s a terrible tragedy and all, but it’s not
30 theQatl.com
Q Advice is intended for entertainment, not professional counseling. Send your Qs to mike@theQatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON