Q inform | inspire
Angry Fags in the Trump Era
March 28, 2019
Frogs Hops With ‘Twee’
Club
KIDS
New lewks from queer nightlife’s next generation
Difference Between Apologies and Lies From Birdcage Bingo to Backroom Bend & Snap
Q News The Q The Queer Agenda Q Shots The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta
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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM
Get OUT
Q shakes off winter with LGBTQ people to see, places to go YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL IT’S SPRINGTIME in queer Atlanta. No, certainly not by the uncertain weather, but by the guaranteed explosion of stuff to do.
It’s like each and every L, G, B, T and Q pokes their head out and realizes that we better get our 2019 life while the gettin’s good.
You probably already know that we at Q mag-
ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM
azine and Project Q Atlanta are here for it.
This week we stick our toe into spring nightlife, theater and bar venues and start to taste what
PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071
spring has to offer.
Speaking of poking their heads out like newly MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER
hatched spring gaybies, meet Georgia’s new club kids in the Q Cover feature. Contributor Jon
Dean once again graces our pages with a photo
essay on six local personalities you should know, and we think it’s one of his best yet.
Putting her mark on nightlife for way longer is the award-winning cocktail
slinger and all-around awesome person Thuy Nguyen. We go behind the bars at Frogs and BJ’s to learn more about what makes “Twee” tick in this week’s Q&A feature.
One of the most prevalent influxes each spring is queer theater. You’ve seen some of the offerings on our pages in recent weeks, but none are quite like
Angry Fags. In my interview with the Atlanta playwright Topher Payne, I call the return of the pulse-pounding dark comedy the most important must-see show of the season. Find out why in Q Stage.
And since queer Atlanta never stops, neither do we with weekly features
you’ve come to expect. Keep turning pages for all of the above, as well as Q News, Q Shots, Queer Agenda, and The Q.
Hit us online for new content every day on Facebook, Instagram and at
theQatl.com. You can also write me directly at mike@theQatl.com. We’ll be here admiring the local queer view and reflecting it back on y’all.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
VOLUME 2 ISSUE 19 MARCH 28, 2019
BAR KEEP
Celebrated mixologist Thuy Nguyen
COVER
23 12
Next Gen LGBTQ club kids turn it out
Q NEWS
13 9
Truth to Power
31 Rainbow Stripes
Conversion survivor testif ies in state house Q STAGE
15
Mad as Hell
35 Bang Bang
“Angry Fags” won’t take it any more
FEATURES Q News
9
Queer Agenda
19
Q Shots
31
The Q
38
38
36 Bottoms Up theQatl.com
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NEWS Q
Testimony to POWER Georgia lawmakers explore banning conversion therapy A SPECIAL SUBCOMMITTEE OF THE GEORGIA HOUSE vetted a proposed ban on conversion therapy for minors in the state on March 19 with testimony from mental health experts, LGBTQ advocates and a conversion therapy survivor. State Rep. Matthew Wilson, a Democrat from Brookhaven who sponsored the legislation, said Georgia is in “crisis” on the issue, that LGBTQ youth who undergo conversion therapy are three times more likely to attempt suicide than those that don’t. “The coalition that is with me here today believes all children should receive care that first does no harm. And that’s why we’re here today,” he said.
“If I had sexual thoughts about men, I would punch myself in the stomach. After my conversion therapy experience, I pretended to be fine yet felt hopeless and alone.” — Peter Nunn HB 580 would ban professional counselors in Georgia from giving people under 18 years old “any treatment that seeks to change an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity, including efforts to change behaviors or gender expressions or to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward individuals of the same gender.” It would apply to licensed social workers, psychiatrists and psychologists, who would face “discipline by the appropriate licensing authority” for violating the ban. The legislation does include a ban on gender identity conversion therapy, but it would not ban counseling for people undergoing gender transition, and does not ban “counseling that provides acceptance, support and understanding,” according to the bill. Rep. Ginny Ehrhart, a Republican from Powder Springs who has compared transgender people to animals, twice questioned why the bill includes a ban on therapy to change someone’s gender identity.
Conversion therapy survivor Peter Nunn.
The subcommittee also heard testimony from Jennifer Holton, a board-certified child and adolescent psychiatrist. She said that there’s no scientific evidence to support the efficacy of conversion therapy. “The idea behind conversion therapy is that practitioners are saying, ‘Who you are is not okay. If you’re gay, that’s not OK. If you’re transgender, that’s not OK. And we’re going to change that in conversion therapy,’” she said. “And what we know is that causes harm. It leads to shame, to stigma and to increased negative mental health outcomes.” Testimony also included Peter Nunn, a gay business owner in Norcross, who talked about his father putting him into conversion therapy when he was 15. “The therapists there told me that God punished gays with AIDS to kill them, that he rained fire on people in Sodom and Gomorrah because of their homosexuality, and that there’s no room in Heaven for homosexuals,” Nunn said. After he returned home from the therapy, Nunn said his parents didn’t discuss it. “If I had sexual thoughts about men, I would punch myself in the stomach,” he said. “After my conversion therapy experience, I pretended to be fine yet felt hopeless and alone.” Nunn said he attempted suicide soon after, and he continued to experience severe depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. The subcommittee of the House Regulated Industries committee did not vote on the bill during the hearing. Wilson plans to revisit the bill when the legislature reconvenes in 2020. theQatl.com
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Q
Q&A
Thuy Nguyen whips up some queer Atlanta nightlife wisdom
get an all-expenses paid trip to Key West for her troubles.
By Patrick Saunders
I grew up everywhere, but I was mostly based out of Guam doing judo throughout my childhood and traveling everywhere competing and fighting.
THUY NGUYEN (PRONOUNCED “TWEE WIN”) IS A queer Atlanta bartending veteran with serious skills. In fact, her expertise comes with a crown.
In 2016, Nguyen won the Atlanta leg of the Stoli Cocktail
Classic competition for America’s best LGBTQ bartender. Although she didn’t take the crown in the national final, she did 12
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Q bellied up to the bar to chat with Nguyen about memorable nightlife moments, her Olympic aspirations, and her secret to being a great bartender. What was your childhood like?
My childhood was great. My parents didn’t have much, but they made sure I had great birthday parties and that we were loved. What led you to bartending? I got into bartending because I was broke and was trying to
Slinging Drinks &
SPREADING THE LOVE
Photo by Russ Youngblood
pay for my judo. I made my attempts at the Olympic Trials a couple times, but I was unsuccessful. Along the way, I realized how much I love bartending. I realized that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I love people, and I love making drinks. I was told once I had the gift of gab.
back.” She said to cheer up kiddo, life is too short. What’s the secret to being a great bartender? To treat people the way you want to be treated, with kindness
and love. Sometimes people don’t come for the food or drinks. They come for some love.
What’s your most unforgettable bartending memory?
What’s your go-to drink on your off time?
I was having a horrible time one year. I got into a car accident
My go to drink is a double Maker’s Mark on the rocks.
and a breakup all in one week. But then a [Frogs] regular came in and made me forget everything and made me appreciate life. She told me that she just lost her mother, and that I can get a new car and a new girlfriend, “but I can never get my mom
Although I am a known mixologist, I like simple and strong cocktails.
Catch Nguyen behind the bar at BJ’s on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights, and at Frogs on Fridays from 4 p.m. – 11 p.m.
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STAGE Q
Still
ANGRY
How Trump Era realities pushed the dystopian future of Angry Fags over the edge
W
By Mike Fleming hen Atlanta playwright Topher Payne’s dark comedy Angry Fags made its 2013 world premiere, its tale of good gays gone bad was mostly fantasy. Sure, it hit disturbingly close to home, but we could tell ourselves that its heart-pounding crescendo still felt like a bit of a stretch. “The argument I made in 2013 is that progress is slow but does happen, that we have to be careful not to give in to temptation to adopt tactics of those who would seek to oppress us,” Payne tells Q. “I believed we were on an arc toward progress, and in the last few years, that has been proven not to be entirely true. Things we thought were resolved are apparently up for negotiation or apt to disappear entirely.”
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Q
STAGE, Continued The original play was billed as “Oscar Wilde meets Fight
Club in a fever dream.” It seduced audiences with gut-bust-
“In the original version, the religious right was the enemy. Now those same people are willing to set aside their theology to bow down to … whatever this is.”
ing wit and insight, which turned into a setup to wreck us with increasingly dark, messy matters both personal and political.
Every queer who was ever fed up with haters and the slow plod toward equality needed to see the original Angry Fags. Now it’s practically a queer mandate to see the updated version.
— Topher Payne Angry Fags playwright
As Payne set out to make the show more timely before officially publishing it back in 2016, there were a few political
developments — the passage of marriage equality in the U.S., the assumption that we were about to elect our first female president — which he wanted to incorporate to make the piece more timeless.
“Then November happened,” the writer says. “In the original
The answer is not pretty, and that’s exactly why Angry Fags
remains so important. Updates only up the emotional ante. “I kept everything that traumatized audiences last time and
version, the religious right was the enemy, and at least they
just kept going,” Payne continues. “What scares me now is
same people are willing to set aside their theology to bow
become. We can find someone to agree with whatever crazy
were very specific about what they hated about us. Now those
how segmented and fragmented the cultural conversation has
down to … whatever this is.”
ass thing is in our head, and radicalism springs from the
“From day to day, you don’t even know who’s under attack, the target moves every day.” Payne continues. “How do you fight
an enemy when you don’t even know what your enemy wants?” With so many people on the political left, and indeed in the middle, now at their wits end, the central question of Angry Fags becomes scarier, and perhaps, even more realistic:
What happens if we stop being Mr. Nice Guy trying to reason with the rest of the world and get mad as hell instead?
belief that there are no other valid points of view.”
But wait. This is a comedy? Let’s just say that you wish you had the rapid-fire, side-splitting banter between friends shared by gay roommates and titular “fags” Cooper and Bennett.
“Both comedy and tragedy are born out of extremes,” Payne
says. “These are very funny people in a very serious situation.” Atlanta theater doesn’t often rip my heart out and leave me
thanking it for the privilege. In 2013, this play put words to
thoughts I’ve had but was afraid to say. The update is sure to
exponentialize the dreadful idea that it might take the anger of a victimized “angry fag” to start a violent revolution and see it through to its chilling end.
After the original, I texted the playwright, who is a friend and colleague, with a quick review: “You’ve written a play
of major import. It left me gutted, sobbing and ... angry. To which he replied, “Mission accomplished.”
“Angry Fags” opens at 7 Stages on March 30 and runs through April 14. Visit 7stages.org. 16
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April 6, 2019 Emory University Grab some friends and spend a fun day competing in your favorite version of schoolyard games. Tug-of-war, 3-legged and wheelbarrow races, and more. Two fun events to raise money for AIDS vaccine research and local service organizations including Emory Vaccine Center, Positive Impact, AID Atlanta, Jerusalem House and HERO for Children.
May 18-19, 2019 A 2-day 200-mile bike ride across the beautiful Georgia countryside. Shorter options are available, including relays.
Register for one or both events, volunteer and/or donate to a participant at actioncyclingatl.org
Belong big
spring meeting
P E E R C O A C H I N G , H I K I N G , S E R V I C E P R O J E C T S , T H E AT R E P OT L U C K S , W A L K S I N T H E PA R K • W W W. B E LO N G . LG B T I T ’ S F R E E | A P R I L 5 T H | 7- 8 : 3 0 P M | O U T F R O N T T H E AT R E
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Q
THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week
March 28 – April 3
Gays For Plays
Atlanta’s LGBTQ theater fan group gathers for opening night of Topher Payne’s sociopolitical potboiler Angry Fags @ 7
THURSDAY, MARCH 28
Stages, 7:15 p.m. Read the Q preview of the
Canvas
play in this issue. 7stages.org
Counter Narrative Project and Atlanta Pride present collected works
DJ GSP
and a discussion panel with the theme, Art, HIV & The Black LGBTQ
Direct from Greece to move the men @
Community @ Rush Center, 6:30 p.m.
Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com The Backroom
A new monthly adult comedy hour from the
Queeriety folks hosted by Molly Rimswell. So
salacious ticket holders get a password @ Village Theatre, 11 p.m. facebook.com/queeriety
Phil Romano Afterhours
This late night DJ makes sure you shake your ass until sunrise @ Xion inside BJ’s, 3 a.m. xionatlanta.com
SUNDAY, MARCH 31
Kelly Clarkson
She’s back, and her pipes are better than ever on the “Meaning of Your Life” Tour @ Infinite Energy Center, 7 p.m. kellyclarkson.com Sweet Tea
Get into this queer variety show hosted by Taylor Alxndr and benefiting Southern
Fried Queer Pride @ 529 Club, 9 p.m.
southernfriedqueerpride.com
FRIDAY, MARCH 29
Trans Pwr Thrift Shop
This pop-up is the tops in shops. Sales benefit Southern Fried Queer Pride
@ The Bakery, 1 p.m. Stick around for the Cinequeer: America in Transition
screening, 6 p.m. southernfriedqueerpride.com Sunday Funday for Equality
HRC Atlanta raises money while feeding you cocktails and appetizers @ Out Front, 2 p.m. hrcatlanta.com
The Met GAYla
TUESDAY, APRIL 2
fundraiser featuring “werks of art” performances @ ASC
The LGBTQ social and mentoring group Belong (formerly Rainbros)
Agness Scott College’s Affinity group presents its annual drag show
Walk N Talk
Affinity, 7 p.m. agnesscottaffinity.wordpress.com
hits the park @ Piedmont Park, 6 p.m. belong.lgbt
Kristin Chenoweth
The Broadway baby hits Atlanta behind “The
Art of Elegance” @ Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, 8 p.m. cobbenergycentre.com
SATURDAY, MARCH 30 Bend & Snap Margarita Bust
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3 Birdcage Bingo Ruby Redd calls the balls @ The Hideaway, 9 p.m. atlantahideaway.com
Hotlanta Volleyball’s Bend & Snap team wants to go to nationals, and you need to drink for the cause @
Ten Atlanta, 4 p.m. tenatlanta.com Project Run-a-way
Local businesses battle it out in a “mystery box” fashion design challenge and runway show to benefit Pets Are Loving Support @ Heretic, 6 p.m. palsatlanta.org
Find even more
LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.
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COVER Q
Got the
LEWK
Georgia’s new club kids werk it for Q
K
itchy. Bold. Energetic. Fresh. Mercurial. Welcome to the expressive world of the LGBTQ-ATL’s freshest crop of club kids.
Got the Lewk
Q contributor Jon Dean finds six of them on their own turf in one of our favorite photo essays from him yet. From baby drags to fashionista artistas, they’re sporting looks from bovine milkmaid to food-inspired couture, corporate realness to bondage glamour and beyond.
We catch them as they gag and stun onlookers, yes, but as they live up to their own aesthetics first. The following pages are an ode to what they add to the queer landscape of Atlanta’s nightlife, and how their avant-garde creativity pushes the boundaries for all of us toward progress.
The doe-eyed Athens performer Alex Suarez opens the spread on this page and closes it on Page 30 alongside an interview on Page 30. Meet the other cohorts, including this week’s Q Cover model TJ Maxxx, as you turn the pages. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com theQatl.com
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Q
CLUB KIDS, Continued
Energetic,
MAJESTIC,
Aesthetic
Honey MINT @_honeymint
Where can we find you? Mary’s every third Wednesday at Hump Daze and pretty much any other time. What inspires your lewks? My looks are inspired by old cartoon and anime aesthetics along with club kid and high fashion elements. Favorite ATL spot to party? Mary’s has such a welcoming atmosphere even if there isn’t a show that night, it’s still a great place to hang out.
Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com 24
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TJ MAXXX @tjthedragthing
Kitschy,
Creative,
SILLY
Where can we find you?
The back porch of Mary’s What inspires your lewks? I like to think I have a bargain bin, dollar store vibe, but with a postimpressionist twist. Any last words for the children? More of a question: How does copyright infringement work?
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Q
CLUB KIDS, Continued
Thin,
BROWN,
Fresh Thin MINT @thin__mint_
Where can we find you? Hosting Glitz @ Mary’s every second Thursday!! What inspires your lewks? Color! I used to have this rule where I didn’t wear black. I gave that up because it looks great on me, but generally, the more the merrier. We love a color story. Favorite ATL spot to party? The Basement. Any Deep South party. Any last words for the children? Consider long term investments now while interest rates are still low! (Drag does not count). Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com 26
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Q
CLUB KIDS, Continued
Miss HE
@misshethequeen
Bold,
Fluid, STUN
Where can we find you? I’m an Athens performer and a member of The Kourtesans. You can catch me twirling with them at Sister Louisa’s Church here in Athens as well as the 40 Watt Club. I’m also in the cast of Video Tronic’s Intrusive Thots and perform with them every month at the Caledonia Lounge. I also come up to Atlanta to perform often with the Glitz cast at Mary’s and Wussy mag events. What inspires your lewks? My aesthetic is inspired by ‘80s and ‘90s runways as well as anime from the same era. I also take any opportunity to play with gender and showcase black girl magic Any last words for the children? Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com 28
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Fuck gender norms! Try drag! Turn a lewk! Be bold! Always vote, especially in your local elections!
Kether DRAKE @kdrella_
MERCURIAL,
Anachronistic, Voracious
Where can we find you? Creeping around every local thrift store and DIY venue, strutting my personal runway at Argosy, holding court in coffee shops and cocktail lounges, making friends with stray cats, or hiding in my house watching television and making it all happen. What inspires your lewks? Judy Garland, old Hollywood glamour, costumes of 1930-40s big band MGM movie musicals. David Bowie; the theatrics and provocative, ethereal sensuality of glam rock. Andy Warhol, the electric hedonism of The Factory and Studio 54, the philosophy that anything is art if you just say it is, and the most important thing is to keep making lots of it no matter what anyone says. Favorite ATL spot to party? You’ll usually find me pussyfooting all over EAV, mingling at The Bakery, or just taking myself for a solo cocktail at the swankiest joint available. Any last words for the children? Let’s play! This year, you can find me curating and participating in events for BitchMade and Wussy, behind the camera directing a new music video for Atlanta’s own Shepherds, designing and silk-screening merch for various local bands and businesses, debuting new looks on the regular, among other things! I’m always looking for the next big adventure,so drop a line! theQatl.com
29
Q
CLUB KIDS, Continued
Alex SUAREZ @queenalexsuarez
Where can we find you? You can find me twirling in Athens, Ga! What inspires your lewks? There are so many working artists nowadays on the internet, so things like makeup and hair usually come from what pops up on my screen, but I also look to designers like the Blonds in New York City, Thierry Mugler and Agnieszka Osipa. Really the direction I’m trying to go towards is basically being the love child of Biqtch Puddin and Laila McQueen. Any last words for the children? Don’t count these Athens queens out. There is so much talent here, and y’all better get ready to see some power moves from these girls in the coming years. Yes gawd.
Gorgeous,
LOUD,
Butch
Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com 30
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ALL STRIPES TAILGATE FOR ATLANTA UNITED
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
Q SHOTS Q
PHOTOS BY MATT HENNIE theQatl.com
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Q
Q SHOTS
FLAUNT IT FRIDAY AT BULLDOGS
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD
APRIL 26-28, 2019
MAY 3-5, 2019
CINCO DE MAYO/ TIKI TIKI POOL OPENING WEEKEND It’s time to kick off the summer season POOLSIDE! Cinco de Mayo Party at Tavern Saturday night!
9 ANNUAL SPRING CLEAN UP WEEKEND TH
Residents of the RV Park, get your sites ready for a busy and festive season! This will be a great opportunity to get some work done and meet your neighbors. On Saturday there will be a Spaghetti Supper at the Lodge with all welcome to attend. Saturday evening we will have a mixer at The Tavern. Day Passers and weekend guests are always welcome! Spring RV Show by TRIAM RV Sales of Tennessee on site with several RVs on display to tour and get information on upgrades by their salesmen!
SPECIAL GUEST
DJ RexxStep
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Q
Q SHOTS
HSL MARGARITA BUST AT MAMA’S CANTINA
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD
SHEBANG! WITH WUSSY AT STAR BAR
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
Q SHOTS Q
PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com
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Q
Q SHOTS
NFFLA MARGARITA BUST AT ZOCALO
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD
Q
THEQ?! Hard to Say
I’M SORRY
You don’t owe an explanation, you owe an apology
Q
My ex and I didn’t plan it when we broke up, but over time we sort of split the mutual friends be-
to know that I deeply regret what happened. If you’re willing,
I promise to listen the way I should have a long time ago, but I
respect that you may not be in that place. Just know that I’m here if you change your mind, and that I will always care about you.”
Don’t ask for forgiveness, which would lighten your pain. Don’t offer justifications for your behavior. Acknowledge your acceptance of your role: “I’m sorry if I hurt you” is not the same as “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
Your friend is expressing his pain by inflicting it back on you. The right apology says that you receive the
message. That might create a path for him
tween us. Most gravitated to one of us in a natural
to communicate again.
way, but there’s one friend that I miss and will
Emphasis on the word “might.” You can
always miss, even years later.
do everything right, and he still might
not forgive you. That’s on him, and you
There was some drama with this guy at
may have to swallow that final piece of
the time of my breakup, but I was too
hard truth, but at least you can work on
wrapped up in relationship
moving on with a clearer conscience.
stuff to see his thing as very important. I was pretty
Q
dismissive, but his situation
really did pale in comparison.
little more drunk, and a lot less
The problem is, I can’t explain
satisfying, than either of us
it to him because he won’t have
anticipated.
anything to do with me. He avoids me and
I called him an Uber, and since then,
turns tail in the opposite direction. On the
he has apologized profusely. I think
rare occasion we are in the same room, he
a lot about what it would be like to have
behaves as if I don’t exist, looking away or looking through me.
I have sent cards on holidays and his birthday, and I even had
my ex reach out on my behalf. The friend is not interested in my side. How can I get him to listen and forgive me? Dear Apologize: You don’t owe him an explanation. You owe him an apology.
Talking about what happened from your perspective is about
you, and that doesn’t earn a discussion, much less forgiveness. Start by acknowledging his perspective, that he has a legitimate hurt and anger. Then accept that you played a role in it, no
matter where you were coming from at the time. Now forgive yourself and forget yourself.
An apology should be about the person receiving it. You might say something like, “I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I want you 38
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I hooked up with this guy who turned out to be a
sex with him. I’m really attracted to him,
but I can’t bring myself to forgive him because he totally doesn’t deserve it. Am I being too harsh? Dear Forgive:
Forgiveness is not for him. It’s for you. You admit he’s occupy-
ing space in your head that you can’t shake — that’s because you haven’t forgiven him.
Now you can decide if you want to have sex with him or not,
keeping in mind both the red flags of his past behavior, as well as your own experience with mistakes when you wanted a second chance.
The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.
ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON