Q Magazine Atlanta | May 30, 2019

Page 1

Q ueer ATL Slays Stonewall Month

inform | inspire

N I P M

Road Trips, Day Trips & Gay Campgrounds

JU

Stay cool with Atlanta’s hottest LGBTQ summer events

Trans Man Behind the Royce Hall Experience Cut Labels & Enjoy Sexual Sword Fights May 30, 2019

Q Shots Queer Agenda The Q Q Voices The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta


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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM

Mile MARKERS

RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM

Celebrating queer summer 50 years after Stonewall

ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM

THE COMING OF JUNE always means sun and fun, but as the world celebrates the half-century mark of the modern LGBTQ movement this year, Atlanta supersizes its Stonewall Month to kick things off.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM

Q is here for all of it. This special issue offers your definitive guide to a whole season of local queer events now through Labor Day. What’s more, five decades after Stonewall, we document ever-more LGBTQ-ATLiens making queer strides, and we map roads that the equality movement still needs to travel.

PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS BENTLEY HUDGINS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Traveling literal roads is also part of the Q summer preview. Far from the maddening stresses of home, we take you across the Southeast to some of the queer-friendliest destinations.

Figurative roads still untraveled became more apparent this month as Chickfil-A doubled down yet again on the anti-LGBTQ contributions of its charitable foundation. News from our Project Q Atlanta homesite covers the latest in a long line of the food giant again mischaracterizing its political motivations as if it’s putting lipstick on the pig of its affiliations. Another up-and-coming queer Atlantan, Royce Hall, finds himself as the latest subject to smile for the Q camera and open up in one of our personality profiles. He lets us in on his music, art and community contributions as a black trans man and performer. We also make pitstops in a bedroom of two tops who can’t get it right in our advice column, and at multiple recent events and venues for photos in Q Shots. We’ll be back in print on June 13 after a summer break, reenergized and ready to cover, shoot, unveil and detail everything you beautiful people in the LGBTQ village can muster. Until then, find us 24-7 at theQatl.com, and write me at mike@theQatl.com theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 28 MAY 30, 2019

MISTER EXPERIENCE Royce Hall’s wall of sound

COVER

15 11

Summer Lovin’

Have you a blast TRAVEL

13 27

Gay Getaways

35 Coyote Ugly

Southeastern summers

QUEER AGENDA

31

This Week

39 Biker Shorts

Summer events start today

FEATURES

Q&A 11

6

Queer Agenda

31

Q Shots

35

The Q

46

theQatl.com

46

42 Georgia Peaches



P R I isD E in the Air. +

JUNE 15, 2019

JUNE 15, 2019

PIEDMONT PARK PIEDMONT PARK

SIGN UP NOW @ F RONT RU NNE R SAT L A NTA . ORG 8

theQatl.com


www.robertgraham.us VISIT US IN PHIPPS PLAZA 404-848-9036


A Family Friendly Drag Brunch All Ages Welcome

Show @ 1pm Kitchen @ 12pm

420 Edgewood Avenue SE

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Q&A

Q

Creating a

JOURNEY

Trans Atlanta multi-hyphenate Royce Hall is a queer performer on the rise By Patrick Saunders ROYCE HALL WANTS TO SAVE LIVES THROUGH HIS ART, AND HE TAKES A number of avenues to do so, be it as a recording artist, actor, poet, photographer or sketch artist. The transgender Atlanta resident connected with Q to talk about internal struggles, creating safe spaces for LGBTQ artists, and his upcoming show in Jonesboro. What was it like growing up in Tallahassee, Fla? My childhood was absolutely phenomenal. My mom allowed me much freedom, within reason, to explore and express myself, to create and learn. Culture and academics were a huge deal in our household. At 3 years old, my mom placed me in a piano school. At 10 years old, I joined beginners’ band as a clarinetist. From there, I learned several other instruments while performing in a hip-hop trio. As it relates to my identity, that wasn’t the easiest to navigate. Being totally self-aware at such a young age was a source of internal struggle. I didn’t have the language, which would have given me agency and power, to convey what I felt and knew about myself. Thankfully though, I wasn’t stifled when it came to my presentation. Tell us about Southern Gent Productions. It’s the ultimate live performance art experience. Last year, SGP collaborated with Soul Productions, LovHer and Actor’s Express for two installments of QueerLit — a live performance experience that celebrates and creates a safe space for LGBTQIA poets, singers, musicians and other artists. What can people expect at a Royce Hall show? The Royce Hall Experience is all about creating a journey on stage. My musicians and I provide a fusion of funk, jazz, hip-hop, neo-soul and spoken word. I love providing an intimate, personal experience. You can expect to connect to my music sonically as well as from a human experience. What else should people understand about you? As a content creator, I feel it is my mission to uphold the reasons I’ve been blessed with so many gifts. I think about youth who are similar to me and how my art can save lives, create positive dialogue and change, evoke thought and understanding, bridge community gaps and leave a legacy that traverses the spectrum of human existence. Royce Hall & The Royce Hall Experience play SpaceCondo Live in Jonesboro on May 30. facebook.com/IAmRoyceHall. For our full interview, visit theQatl.com.

Photo by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com

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COVER Q

h t n o M l l d a e w k e c a n p s St o t r a kickst GBTQ L f ts o n e e v t a e r sl e m m u s a t At l a n

* JUNREDAY, JUNE 1 now d fun n a n u with g ts of s Flemin hough ’re on brand ts t e h ik t i M By you even ied w occup has passed, ge, because r. e r p e ay me illa f you’r orial D and proud v to slay sum m e M d t that slate e out to star t of th d away are u s o e y r r e th e an d the list fo t hom to-do ns. First, fin n g n o here a l ntio ay o a seaso ing destina bor D o a t L n i h s m g p throu bound aydrea sue ta This is plans and d BTQ-ATL of the home runte LG our ing pencil ents in the r making no our gaze in e wrap y ev te w f t n , s y e A l e l d . g s a a g e bi . Fin pag o bro events theast xt few p flipping t u o e o d n S t e e s h t kee ss th f mu nings, aways acro enda o g A t r happe e e e g ur Q u of gay me down erage with o ear so e v m s o , c s t e caus had even your s cocktail, be . k b e a e r w G this e it. sip a handl maybe er. n a d c n a u umm ot. Yo s that nose ueer s It ’s a l s q o r ’s c a t a tlan een sunscr o preview A t e it ’s tim

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0 a.m. rgia, 1 o e Ou G ver e.org ags O taprid n Six F l a l t a s.com, sixflag NE 2 Y, JU our A D p.m. N SU tor y T an Rights, 1 s i H Q m LGBT Civil & hu r o f r Cente ne 23 s on Ju r u c e R .org stitute lgbtqin NE 8 AY, JU D R U oncert SAT ride C ! P y r s a u d r Legen omen’s Cho . aW 2 p.m Atlant eatre, Th t n ro O ut F rg xpo fnote.o o it & E s m m voice u ess S my ’ Busin Econo .m. LGBT e Rainbow ,1 p f th theast ‘Rise o arriott Nor aM  Atlant ber.org aycham g a t n a atl

*Off icial Atlanta Pride Stonewall Month events are noted in color.

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SUMMER PREVIEW continued Q

JUNE* (con’t)

50 Years of Stonewall Triple Feature

SATURDAY, JUNE 8

Save Me, Shelter and

Sexy Saturday: Pride Edition My Sister’s Room, 10 p.m. mysistersroom.com

Brother to Brother

Out Front Theatre, 5 p.m.

SUNDAY, JUNE 9

Neon Horror Daydrunk

PALS Bottomless Brunch Guac y Margys, 12:30 p.m. palsatlanta.org

Mary’s, 2 p.m.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11 50s Sock Hop Drag Queen Bingo Benefits PALS Atlanta Lips, 7:30 p.m. lipsatl.com

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12 The Fifth Element

outonfilm.org

Peaches & Beaches Edition marysatlanta.com 15th Annual Evening for Equality

Loews Atlanta, 6 p.m. georgiaequality.org Naturally Tan

Tan France from Queer Eye

Friends School of Atlanta, 7 p.m.

Queers on Film Series

friendsschoolatlanta.org

outonfilm.org

Church at Ponce & Highland, 6 p.m.

Plaza Atlanta, 7 p.m.

THURSDAY, JUNE 13

Stonewall 50 Concert & Panel

atlantapride.org, atlantafreedombands.com

SouthEast LeatherFest (SELF)

Ladies of LCD Soundsystem

through June 16

The Music Room, 10 p.m.

Doubletree Hilton Atlanta,

with Deep South

setheaterfest.com

atlmusicroom.com

Holy Sh!t Comedy Night

SUNDAY, JUNE 16

sisterlouisaschurch.com

Rafiki, Pride and

Sister Louisa’s Church, 10 p.m.

50 Years of Stonewall Triple Feature

FRIDAY, JUNE 14

Saturday Church

Atlanta Braves LGBT Night SunTrust Park, 5 p.m. atlantapride.org

50 Years of Stonewall Double Feature Living with Pride: Ruth C. Ellis at 100 and The Watermelon Woman Out Front Theatre, 7 p.m. outonfilm.org

SATURDAY, JUNE 15 Belong Summer Hike Kennesaw Mountain, 10 a.m. belong.lgbt Atlanta Pride Run Piedmont Park, 8 a.m. frontrunnersatlanta.org Rainbow Pub Crawl

Drink at Ten Bars with Wristband Steps off from MSR, 7 p.m. mysistersroom.com

Out Front Theatre, 3 p.m. outonfilm.org

Cabbage Patch

Father’s Day Drag Brunch

Georgia Beer Garden, 1 p.m. georgiabeergarden.com

MONDAY, JUNE 17 Paris is Burning

Queers on Film Series Plaza Atlanta, 7 p.m. outonfilm.org

SATURDAY, JUNE 22 I See You: 50 Years After Stonewall Gay Men’s Chorus Pride Concert

St. Luke’s Episcopal, 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. voicesofnote.org 

*Off icial Atlanta Pride Stonewall Month events are noted in color. theQatl.com

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Q

SUMMER PREVIEW continued

JUNE* (con’t)

SATURDAY, JUNE 29

Queen’s Night at the Opera with ATL Collective Buckhead Theatre, 8 p.m. atlcollective.org

Queen Story Hour

Michelle Malone & Sarah Peacock Crimson Moon, Dahlonega, 8 p.m. Recurs June 23 and June 29 thecrimsonmoon.com

Stonewall 50: Atlanta

BrutBears Decadence Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

Mercedes-Benz Stadium, 4 p.m.

SATURDAY, JUNE 22

Mayor Bottoms Drag With Terra Cotta Sugarbaker Atlanta City Hall, 10 a.m. atlantaga.gov/lgbtq

QueerStory Panel

84 12th St. NE, 5 p.m.

facebook.com/dykesonbikesatl Atlanta United Unity Night

With Swag Bags & Pre-Party fevo.com, atlantapride.org

Ultimate Queen Tribute With Bohemian Rhapsody voice Marc Martel

Brown Amphitheater,

Peachtree City, 8 p.m. amphitheater.org Grrl Crush My Sister’s Room, 10 p.m. mysistersroom.com

Michelle Malone

SUNDAY, JUNE 23

8 p.m.

LGBTQ History Tour Center for Civil & Human Rights, 1 p.m. lgbtqinstitute.org Stonewall Pool Party with Deep South Altitude Apartments Rooftop, 2 p.m. facebook.com/deepsouthatl Michelle Malone & Sarah Peacock Crimson Moon, Dahlonega, 9 p.m. Recurs on June 29 thecrimsonmoon.com OutRising Rooftop Party with DJs Anonima & Alexander Fox Theatre, 12 noon- 4 p.m. foxtheatre.org

*Off icial Atlanta Pride Stonewall Month events are noted in color.

18 18

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& Sarah Peacock

Crimson Moon, Dahlonega, thecrimsonmoon.com Considering Matthew Shepard

Sandy Springs Performing Arts Center, 8 p.m. citysprings.com Leslie Jordan

Westside Cultural Arts Center, 9 p.m.

westsideartscenter.com Stonewall 50: Big Rainbow Cabaret

My Sister’s Room, 9:30 p.m. mysistersroom.com

Queer History Live! Comedy Show

Relapse Theatre, 10 p.m. relapsetheatre.com

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26

SUNDAY, JUNE 30

Southern Fried Queer Pride The Bakery Atlanta, 1 p.m. southernfriedqueerpride.com

North Avenue MARTA, 12 noon

Stonewall March atlantapride.org


 ���

 Â? Â? Â?Â?Â?Â?  Â? Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs


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Tickets Available @ joininghearts.org


Q

SUMMER PREVIEW continued

JULY

SATURDAY, JULY 27

TUESDAY, JULY 2

Serving for Equality

Queer Classics:

Sharon E. Lester Tennis Center,

Midtown Art Cinema, 7 p.m.

hrcatlanta.org

Dog Day Afternoon plazaatlanta.com Hugh Jackman

State Farm Arena, 7 p.m. ticketmaster.com

SUNDAY, JULY 14 Nina Flowers

Xion/BJ Roosters, 3 a.m.

ABBA The Concert Cobb Energy Centre, 8 p.m.

FRIDAY, JULY 19 Joining Hearts Weekend Kickoff Heretic, 10 p.m

hereticatlantac.om

SATURDAY, JULY 20 Belong Big Gay Summer Potluck McCiathchey Park, 11 a.m. belong.lgbt

Joining Hearts 32

Greystone at Piedmont Park, 4 p.m.

joininghearts.org JH Weekend Afterparties

Buckhead Theatre, 10 p.m. Xion with Pagano, 3 a.m. gaboyevents.com

SUNDAY, JULY 21 Sweet Spot

DJs Deanne, Pride and Brian Rojas District, 2 p.m.

gaboyevents.com Sugar w/Dan DeLeon Loca Luna, 4 p.m.

facebook.com/beyondatl JH Weekend Closing Party DJ Dan Slater

District, 7 p.m.

gaboyevents.com theQatl.com

hotlantavolleyball.org

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 7

centerstage-atlanta.com

Carly Rae Jepsen Tabernacle, 8 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 31

actors-express.com

Tsunami Volleyball, all weekend

SUNDAY, JULY 28

Head Over Heels

Runs through Aug. 25

Hotlanta Classic XXVI

Katya: Help Me I’m Dying

tabernacleatl.com

Actor’s Express, 8 p.m.

FRIDAY, AUG. 2 – SUNDAY AUG. 4

cobbenergycentre.com

facebook.com/xionatlanta Gogos Musical

22

6 p.m.

AUGUST

Shawn Mendes State Farm Arena, 7:30 p.m. ticketmaster.com

Center Stage, 8 p.m.

SATURDAY, AUG. 17 Piedmont Park Arts Festival Piedmont Park, Sunday too.

THURSDAY AUG. 22 Queen + Adam Lambert State Farm Arena, 7 p.m. ticketmaster.com

SATURDAY, AUG. 31

The Excellence Gala Trans Gentlemen of Excellence Georgia Tech Hotel, 7 p.m. transgentlemenofexcellence.org

LABOR DAY WEEKEND AUG. 29 – SEPT. 2 Black Gay Pride Atlanta atlantaprideweekend.com

Rainbow Days at Six Flags meakproductions.com

Glamorous

Peach Weekend LGBTQ Tennis Tournament atta.org

hereticatlanta.com

Dragon*Con dragoncon.org

piedmontparkartsfestival.org Heretic, 10 p.m.





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ROAD

SUMMER TRAVEL Q

TRIP!

Gay getaways across the Southeast

S

By Mike Fleming

ometimes all it takes is a short drive to feel a world away, and summer is just the time to take advantage of nearby LGBTQ and destinations that won’t break the bank.

Here we run down some of the queer-run and queer-friendliest places to visit in Florida, South Carolina and Georgia as you plan your summer vacations. ď ľ

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Q

TRAVEL continued

One Magical Weekend May 31 – June 3 onemagicalweekend.com This weekend is one of the most anticipated circuit weekends on the dancing queen calendar. Prepare your inner Peter Pan for six days of dancing and amusements in Orlando. The closely associated, but not affiliated, Gay Days at Walt Disney World has moved to August 13-15 this year. Augusta Pride June 21-22 prideaugusta.org The 10th annual festival and parade just gets bigger every year, and offsite parties just keep adding to the roster of events. Asheville, N.C. romanticasheville.com/gayandlesbian Historic places in this queer-friendly burgh only begin with The Biltmore. Shopping, hikes, art and a few good gay bars are all a short drive away. Savannah/Tybee Island gaysavannah.com In the city, find legendary antebellum homes and districts, amazing parks and museums, as well as a River Walk inclusive of gay bars. Then drive out to Tybee for beach-bumming and casual eats. 28

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Charleston, S.C. charlestoncvb.com Often called Savannah’s sister with its historical, antebellum vibe, Charleston also has a Tybee sibling in Folly Beach. It’s home to a namesake pier for shopping and dining with amazing views of the Atlantic. St. Simons Island goldenisles.com One of the more popular islands just off Brunswick, Ga, this is the most low-key and peaceful. After a day at the beach, drop by one of the super-casual local gay bars. Panama City, Fla. visitpanamacitybeach.com Ground Zero for what just may be the birthplace of Spring Break, it’s even better in even warmer months. Nearly 30 miles of beach serves warm water and hot sand on the Gulf side of the state. Timberfell Lodge timberfell.com In the gorgeous hills of Greenville, Tenn., this gay-owned, men-only bed and breakfast has become a premier gay resort with swimming pool, pool house, beer bar, bath house, redwood sauna and steam room. Guys can enoy a clothing optional weekend getaway.



Enjoy our spacious outdoor patio. Fabulous Sunday brunch with housemade Bloody Marys. Voted Best Gay-Friendly Restaurant in Atlanta. Great drinks! Great food! Great scene!

Sun - Thurs, 11 a.m. - 11 p.m. Fri - Sat, 11 a.m. - midnight 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road 404.892.4541 | roxxtavern.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

Thursday, May 30 – Wednesday, June 5

SATURDAY, JUNE 1 Ladies of the League

THURSDAY, MAY 30

National Flag Football

Gender Blender

League of Atlanta puts its jocks

For All Humans puts on this

in frocks and stages them as

party with performances byJay-

its 16th season-closing

bella Banks, Miss He, Video

party @ My Sister’s

Tronic and Iv Fischer (photo)

Room, 6 p.m. nffla.com

@ My Sister’s Room, 9 p.m. mysistersroom.com

FRIDAY, MAY 31 Song to Myself

Walt Whitman turns 200, so queer

and allied writers read from his work @ First Existentialist, 7 p.m. firstexistentialist.org Morningside

Topher Payne’s latest play of Southern sass and big heart opens @ Onstage Atlanta, 8 p.m. onstageatlanta.com Betty Who

Variety Playhouse, 9 p.m. varietyplayhouse.com Flaunt It

T Rex headlines

the latest 18+ This

Free Life show @ Moxy

Midtown, 9 p.m. marriott.com/moxyatlanta The G8Yties

Joan Jett the Blackhearts

Ladies, still your hearts. Crimson, clover and loving rock and roll take the mic @ The Bowl at Sugar Hill, 8 p.m. thebowlatsugarhill.com

A dance party only lurid youth and foggy

SUNDAY, JUNE 2

hereticatlanta.com

The trolley ride with local gays of extended

memories can inspire @ Heretic, 10 p.m.

experience returns @ National Center

SATURDAY, JUNE 1 Out in the Park

LGBTQ Day on the rides and on the

causeways @ Six Flags Over Georgia,

all day. www.atlantapride.org/event/outinthepark

Boss Broad

Queer Atlanta’s own Megan Volpert

debuts her newest book with a party @ New Hope UMC, 11 a.m.

meganvolpert.com Photo by James L. Hicks

LGBTQ History Tour

for Civil & Human Rights, 1 p.m. lgbtqinstitute.org

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5 Boys Night Out

Broadway baby Robert Ray and his talented cabaret cast return to Wednesdays with

their new show “June is Busting OUT All Over” @ Ten, 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Encore

performances June 12. bnojune.bpt.me Find more LGBTQ events in the Queer

Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

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STOLI CLASSIC AT MIDTOWN MOON

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

BRITNEY BASH AT EAGLE FOR PALS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOOD




AIDS VACCINE 200 AT EMORY

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

NFFLA FLAG FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD


Join us! Welcome to the

The AGLCC LGBT Business Summit is a day-long conference and expo, covering topics relevant to the Southeastern LGBTQ business community.

Program & Reception

Tickets include networking, expo, general sessions, reception, keynote presentation, and more!

June 7,Thank 2019you to our Sponsor! 1:00 PM - 7:30 PM

Tickets available: theAGLCC.org

Atlanta Century Center 2000 Century Boulevard NE Atlanta, Georgia 30345

Sponsored by the Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC)


Q

Q SHOTS

PEACH PARTY MAIN EVENT AT BUCKHEAD THEATRE

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD


theQatl.com

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Q

THEQ?! Two Tops Don’t

MAKE A RIGHT

More love, less categorizing

Q

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and for the first time in my life, I’m not questioning whether the love is

real. We are definitely connected on a higher level than I’ve ever experienced. There is one hitch, though: We’re both tops.

We click on so many levels except that one. I’ve bottomed a couple times, but when I bring up reciprocation, we argue. When I’m not

thinking and your activity to make the process of getting there

smoother and more fun.Anyone interested in receptive anal sex who is scared can help themselves and each other with a few suggestions.

Forget labels. “I’m not going to be the bottom in this relationship” triggers every emotional hot button on both sides, not to

mention puts negative judgment on bottoming. What if no one was a “top” or a “bottom” and everyone just wanted to have sex? Make it about desire.

Tap your sexual super powers. What turns him on about you?

Ask him and give it to him. If it’s your chest, walk around shirtless

more. The noises you make in bed? Make more. Have him do your stuff too, and everyone will feel

willing to do it, it’s like a sword

more attractive and attracted.

fight down there. I don’t want to

Emphasize reciprocity. Part-

be in this stalemate forever, and

ners don’t just do things to each

I definitely don’t want to lose

other in bed, they do things for

this relationship.

each other.

Dear Labelmaker:

Commit to consider. First, you

Confrontation breeds nothing

commit to not even try topping

but defense, so you can’t argue

him, as he openly considers the

your way into unchartered

possibility. The lack of pressure

sexual territory. Conversation

“in the moment” takes the anxi-

is a much better tack, and

ety of anticipation out of the

not-in-the-moment is a much

equation. Trust is a key issue.

better time.

Don’t violate it.

The first thing to discuss as

Simulation stimulation. Even

honestly and openly as possible

if you never get in the back

is whether what you are after is

door, you can both have a lot

even a possibility for him. There are ways to live with “no” and

maintain your relationship, but if you act like “no” means “maybe” or “with the right strategy,” you’ve got bigger issues than sex in your relationship.

If you’re in the land of “no,” learn to love the “sword fight.” Focus

on other sexual situations you both enjoy, or entertain a third who loves bottoming. That’s just just three examples. Open your minds to solutions.

Assuming he’d be willing to share bottom duty at least sometimes, there are some things you can both do. Hone your 46

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of fun in the neighborhood.

Without ever penetrating each other, discover the joys of rim-

ming and frottaging, the fancy term for your proverbial “sword fight” and its sexual friction.

Try it. After a period of the above steps and a thorough cleansing

— and based solely on his schedule — give penetration a shot. To support an environment of zero pressure, put in place caveats that false starts, time outs and rainchecks are totally OK.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON




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