Q
The B in ATL on Bi Visibility Day
inform | inspire
daddy issues Actor’s Express works out family matters in ‘Skintight’
Charli XCX & Buffy Top Atlanta’s LGBTQ Events Who’ll Step Up For Brent’s Star Search Oh, That PrEP Scrip Wasn’t A Free Pass September 19, 2019
Q Shots Queer Agenda Q News The Q The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta
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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM
Family
DYNAMICS
WHETHER YOU’RE A GAY grandfather juggling a young lover and a put-upon daughter, a bisexual trying to be seen by other queers, or a ’90s kid just sharing the Buffy love, culture clashes take center stage in this week’s Q.
ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS BENTLEY HUDGINS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM RUSS YOUNGBLOOD NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071
MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER
The interplay of queer generations, factions and communities are fraught with challenges. Take it from the Dad/Daddy in Actor’s Express’ new play. His daughter is incensed by his live-in boyfriend, and an age difference of 50 years is bringing its own drama, er comedy, to the mix. Dig into this week’s cover story.
Not seeing eye-to-eye in a more serious way are bisexuals vs. the rest of the LGBTQ family. In honor of Bi Visibility Day on Sept. 23, Q Voices features an insightful guest column, and 10 Queer Things lays out a bisexual fact sheet to inspire better support from the rest of us. The Queer Agenda calendar is packed with LGBTQ events as usual, and one of our favorites is the Buffy Hour performance showcase. To celebrate, Q Events lays out just what makes Buffy the Vampire Slayer so enduring in queer culture. Meanwhile, Brent Star still needs a kidney, the governor taps on gay doors for Census help, and Fulton County wants to test every one of its 30,000 gay and bisexual men for syphilis before Pride. Catch up in Q Community and Q News, with more every day on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com. Also on our pages and expanded on our website, find full galleries of Q Shots photos, even more LGBTQ events, and the full archive of The Q advice column. Take it all in, and write me with your thoughts at mike@theQatl.com. theQatl.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 43 SEPTEMBER 19, 2019
HELLMOUTH
ATL stays queer for ‘Buffy’
COVER
17 27
May-December ‘Skintight’ at Actor’s Express
10 QUEER THINGS
13 10
Both Ways
29 Full Service
Happy and not-so happy Bisexual Visibility Day COMMUNITY
13
Star Search
30 Flag Corps
Brent Star looks for elusive kidney donor
FEATURES
Q Voices Q News The Queer Agenda Q Shots The Q 6
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8 14 27 29 38
38
36 Damn Daddy
Q
VOICES
Bi &
PROUD
20th Bi Visibility Day is still a double-edged challenge for bisexuals
WE’VE COME A LONG WAY SINCE THE FIRST BI Visibility Day in 1999, as signified by the recent coming out of NFL player Ryan Russell. From music icon Janelle Monae to beloved Grey’s Anatomy character Callie Torres (bi actress Sara Ramirez), the representation of bisexuality in popular culture is better than ever. Unfortunately, bisexual people still face pressure every day to perform and justify their identity regardless of the gender of their partner. It’s up to all LGBTQ+ people to shore up the progress we’ve made by being fiercely supportive of our bi loved ones and acknowledging the unique challenges that bi folks face.
• Bisexual people are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and STIs. • Bisexual people face stigma from without and within the LGBTQ+ community. There is a popular perception that bisexual people have it easy: We can retreat into hetero-normative culture whenever we want. But there is nothing easy about having to justify your existence to pretty much everyone in your life. There’s nothing easy about explaining to your doctor that you have diverse risk factors that you need help managing. There’s nothing easy about having to come out again every time you start a new relationship. Yes, bi people do have some privilege, just as all of us in the theQatl.com
So often, bi people face the stereotype that we are experimenting, going through a phase, or just can’t make up our minds. Skipping past the fact that these are all untrue, let’s look at the hostility towards the personal journey that underpins such myths. If a man comes out as bi and later decides he only wants to date men, the perception is often that he was always gay and bisexuality was just a pitstop for him. This ignores the fact that he might still identify as bi while trivializing his personal journey and coming out story as “just a phase.” If a bi woman expresses her sexual attraction to the same gender, many perceive her as simply performing for the male gaze. Both of these scenarios operate on the patriarchal assumption that bi people are more attracted to men, and it will only be a matter of time before they settle down with one. Maybe they will settle down with a masculine person. But if they do, that doesn’t mean they aren’t bi — it just means they fell in love with a man.
SHANNON C L AW S O N
• Bisexual people are more likely than their LGT peers to be closeted.
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community experience varying degrees of privilege and oppression throughout our lives. There is no reason that we should respond to that privilege with stigma, erasure or biphobia.
Orientation is defined by what is in your heart, not by who you date. So if you want to support your bisexual loved ones this September, take some time to celebrate their identity.
If you have a bi friend, send them a card on Sept. 23. If you have a family member, help them find a bi-supportive medical provider or therapist. If you hear a friend make a disparaging remark about bi people (“Never date a bi person,” “They’re just greedy,” “Bi people can’t commit,” “They’ll just cheat on you,” “So when’s the threesome?”, etc.), remind them that stigma and phobia have no place in our community. You never know who in your circle is bi and too scared to come out. Take some time this month to remind your friends and family that you support bisexual people, that you see them, and that you celebrate who they are every day — especially on Bi Visibility Day. Shannon Clawson is Statewide Outreach Organizer with Georgia Equality. shannon@georgiaequality.org.
Q
10 QUEER THINGS
Bi Bi, BIGOTRY!
10 things bisexuals want you to know on Bisexual Awareness Week
say they feel more compassionate and sympathetic to others’
More to Love
ry world where bisexuals “play both sides for chumps,” and that
No not that. There are more bisexuals than lesbian and gay people, according to the most recent studies. About 3.1% of the population are bisexual, with only 2.5% homosexual.
gay people feel threatened because bisexuals “hide behind heterosexual privilege.” Trouble is, neither of those things is true.
Introspection & Empathy
Approximately 25% of bisexual men, and 30% of bisexual
Bisexual people report more soul-searching and self-analysis than their gay and straight counterparts, and as a result 10
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needs. By the way, those traits can also create better emotional and sexual connections.
Double Trouble Surveys show that straight people feel threatened by a non-bina-
Poverty Line women live below the federal poverty level, compared to 20% of gay men and 23% of lesbians.
Joes Gallagher
Closet Cases
Women & Men
Only 23% of bisexuals come out. Orientation doesn’t change just because a bisexual is in a relationship, but biphobia from both sides makes it easier for many to let people assume they’re straight if they have an opposite-sex partner, gay if their partner is of the same sex.
It was long believed that women were more likely to be bisexual, but it turns out they just tend to accept it in themselves more often and earlier. As culture shifts, more “mostly straight” men are acknowledging and acting on their varying degrees of sexual fluidity.
Invisible Eraser
Employment and social discrimination lead bisexuals to higher rates of hypertension, smoking, risky drinking, STI diagnoses and heart disease. They are also three times more likely to be closeted to their healthcare providers who might help.
Staying closeted means most non-bisexuals tend to forget, or be willfully blind to the fact, that bisexuals exist. This invisibility can lead to erasure, a conscious or unconscious refusal to acknowledge that bisexuality exists, even when people proclaim it.
Empowering Bonuses Upsides to bisexuality include an ability to see gray areas in all aspects of life, the beauty in everyone without stigma, to be accepting of people who express an identity different than theirs, to be more likely to challenge heteronormativity.
Risk Factors
Assumption Junction It’s biphobic to assume: “It’s just a phase,” “It’s a cover for homosexuality,” “You’re oversexed and unfaithful,” “You’ll happily do a three-way,” “You’re not really bi if your relationships lean more toward one sex than the other.” Sources: Journal of Sexual Medicine, Institute for Personal Growth, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Cornell University Department of Psychology, Williams Institute, Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation theQatl.com
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COMMUNITY Q
Star
SEARCH
Brent Star’s search for kidney donor stalls By Patrick Saunders
GAY ATLANTA ENTERTAINER BRENT STAR’S battle with kidney disease suffered a setback after a potential donor fell through. The comedian and drag performer went public with his search for a kidney donor in April. He’s been receiving dialysis treatments three times a week for three-and-ahalf hours a visit since 2016. Star announced on Facebook in June that he found a donor, but he heard back on Aug. 30 that they didn’t meet the medical requirements. “He had the right blood type and everything was going right,” Star told Project Q Atlanta. “You have to go through several tests and one of the tests he was one point short and didn’t pass.” Star said in the future he will keep potential donor matches a secret. “Now I know not to make anymore announcements until the transplant committee calls me and says Mr. Star, we have a match,” he said. “I just haven’t been looking for a donor. It’s like with the Oscars when they said ‘La La Land’ won and it accidentally didn’t win.” Star’s dialysis treatment is going well and he’s keeping his sense of humor intact as his search for a kidney donor continues. “The doctors are the ones that tell me I better get out there Nikki Thomas and start looking for a donor,” he said. “It’s kind of like the doctor is a pimp telling me to get back out on the street.” He continues to do stand-up comedy and private events, but the treatment takes a toll. “On the days I do dialysis it slows me down a lot, but performing for me is like my lifeline, you know?” he said.
Brent Star
Star is looking for a donor with blood types A or O. Potential donors can call the Living Donor Program at Piedmont Healthcare at 404-605-4605 or fill out the online medical questionnaire online at piedmont.org/transplant. theQatl.com
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Q
IN BRIEF
Kemp appoints gay lawmaker to 2020 Census task force By Patrick Saunders STATE REP. MATTHEW WILSON was among the dozens of leaders that Gov. Brian Kemp appointed to a committee to ensure that all Georgia residents are counted in the 2020 U.S. Census. Wilson, one of five openly LGBTQ members of the legislature, said he was “grateful” to be named to the Complete Count Committee with 65 Rep. Matthew Wilson other elected officials, political party leaders and civic leaders. “The work of ensuring that all Georgians are counted — especially those from our most marginalized communities — is a responsibility that I don’t take lightly,” he told Project Q Atlanta. “Nearly 25 percent of Georgians register as hardto-count. We must ensure they have an opportunity to be counted, too.” Census data determines how many representatives each state gets in Congress and how much federal funding. Political district maps are also redrawn based on the Census. “The Census matters because of power and money,” Wilson said. “Ensuring a fair and accurate count means better healthcare, better schools, better social service programs, better transit options and better representation.” At least three LGBTQ people have been among 80 Kemp appointments since taking office. Find another eyebrow-lifting appointment, and the full committee list, at theQatl.com. 14
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Police: Killers recite nursery rhyme before murdering LGBTQ artist
A SUSPECT IN THE RAPE AND SHOOTING DEATH OF AN LGBTQ college student in Southwest Atlanta made a game out of selecting who he would kill before pulling the trigger, according to police. Details of the crime were revealed during the first court appearance for Anthony Laquan Goss, according to the AJC. Goss and Roy Hill allegedly kidnapped 28-year-old Te’a Denise Liger and an unidentified man and woman on Aug. 21. They tortured the three — including raping Liger and the other woman — before forcing them to their knees with their heads down in an execution-style position, according to Atlanta Police Inv. Michael Young. “They pulled the mattress over (the victims’) heads and played a game: Eeny meeny miny mo, someone has got to go,” Young said in court, according to the AJC. Liger was a 2016 graduate of Kell High School in Marietta and was attending Academy of Art University in San Francisco.
Atlanta groups launch massive syphilis testing blitz for gay, bi men By Patrick Saunders FULTON COUNTY IS PARTNERING WITH EMORY UNIVERSITY AND Joining Hearts to tackle a syphilis epidemic among gay and bisexual men. The sports-themed “Get in the Game” campaign launched during Black Gay Pride with a goal of getting all 30,000 gay and bi men in Fulton tested by Atlanta Pride weekend, Oct. 12-13. Gay and bi men account for nearly 70 percent of new syphilis infections nationwide, and it’s a “major problem” in Atlanta, according to David Holland of the Fulton County Board of Health. “We knew we needed to do something big and David Holland something bold so what we decided on is a short-term campaign to get as many people tested as possible,” he told Project Q Atlanta. Free home testing kits are part of the effort, plus testing events are scheduled for several Midtown gay bars. The Fulton County Health Department continues testing also. The long-term purpose is to destigmatize testing, according to Holland. “We want people to be out there having fun — we just want it to be safe,” he said. “That’s the genesis of the name of the campaign. We want people to get tested, get treated if necessary, and then go get in the game.” Visit getinthegameatl.com for more information on registering and ordering an athome syphilis testing kit.
Join us for an evening of recognition and celebration
Tickets Available Now TheAGLCC.org
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2019 Cocktail Reception 6:30 Dinner 7:30
Four Seasons Atlanta
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COVER Q
‘Why &
WHY NOT?’ Lis Saunders
Wendy Melkonian, Jake Berne, Truman Griffin and Chris Kayser.
Award-winning director Freddie Ashley launches Actor’s Express season with Skintight
F
By Patrick Saunders reddie Ashley entered his 13th year as artistic director of Actor’s Express with a dramatic, theater-worthy bang. None other than the Kennedy Center honored Ashley in August with its American College Theater Festival Medallion of Excellence.
The award comes as the director and the theater are ready to open their fall season with Skintight on Sept. 18. The comedy follows a woman home to visit her father for his 70th birthday, only to find that his new boyfriend is a 20-year-old porn star. Ashley chatted with Q about the “really funny and really sexy” play, the May-December romances that inspire it, and that big-deal award. theQatl.com
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Q
STAGE continued Congratulations on the Kennedy Center award! What does that mean to you? It was a real honor to receive the Medallion of Excellence. It was particularly meaningful to me because it was in recognition of my years of service and commitment to the MFA Playwrights Workshop, which is an important program to me. I’ve had the opportunity over the years to develop new work with playwrights who will be shaping the American theater in years to come and have formed some really important friendships and professional relationships. I think there is no greater honor in our profession than to be of service to playwrights.
What are the things that drive people to younger partners? Why is beauty more important than other factors when entering into a relationship? And on the flipside, why do we feel the need to make assumptions or judge relationships that may fall outside of socially acceptable expectations? Who’s to say what works best for some couples? So I guess there’s a tension in the play between the questions of why and why not.
So how did Skintight land on your radar? I’ve known playwright Joshua Harmon for around 10 years. He was AE’s Playwright in Residence back in 2010. A few years ago, he told me about an idea he had for this play. He then got commissioned by the Roundabout [Theatre Company in New York City] to write the play and they produced it last year with Idina Menzel. I saw the production in New York, and it was terrific. What was it about the play that drew you in? It’s really funny and it’s really sexy. It is a play that comes right out of our current zeitgeist. I love that Joshua Harmon writes characters on polar ends of an argument and never chooses sides. There will be people in the audience who form all sorts of allegiances to the characters, but Josh never forces the audience’s hand. What is it about Harmon’s work that keeps AE coming back to him? Josh’s work is unflinching and fearless and always scathingly hilarious. His characters say utterly outrageous things and have some very thorny edges, but there’s always a lot of heart in his writing. One thing he does especially well is explore the intersections of the personal and the cultural. Whether it’s cousins quarrelling over a family artifact and arguing about what it means to be Jewish in today’s world in his play Bad Jews, or a gay millennial trying to discover his self-worth while navigating the dating scene in New York in Signif icant Other, he gets at really big societal questions while focusing microscopically on person-to-person relationships. And he does so with an amazing combination of scathing wit and a warm heart. What does the play say about America’s obsession with youth and beauty? I’m not sure that I would characterize the play as “saying” something about America’s obsession with youth and beauty. Rather, I think it’s really looking at it and asking questions. 18
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Freddie Ashley
What can you share about the cast? Wendy Melkonian is one of the best comedic actresses in our city, but then she rips the rug out from under you with her capacity for thoughtful, dramatic honesty. Chris Kayser is the actor most of us aspire to be; consummately professional, endlessly talented and generous to his costars. Their work is just as accomplished as anything you’d find on Broadway. There are some newer folks on the scene in our cast too. Truman Griffin and Jake Berne are so great and are able to go toe-to-toe with the vets in the cast. Christopher Repotski and the always divine Marianne Fraulo play relatively small roles as members of the household staff, and they both turn out to be these stealth characters who pack some fun and unexpected punch. What’s next in the 32nd season at Actor’s Express? We will follow it up with a Hitchcockian thriller called Downstairs by Theresa Rebeck. Following that is the musical Fun Home, which is finally getting a professional production in Atlanta. That will open in January. The season will round out with The Brothers Size by Tarell Alvin McCraney and Desire Under the Elms by Eugene O’Neill. ‘Skintight’ plays Actor’s Express Sept. 18 – Oct. 13. actors-express.com
EVENTS Q
Ready to
Slay
Party at the Hellmouth celebrates the queerest vampire show ever By Mike Fleming
M
ore than 20 years since a little white girl from the burbs became the baddest bitch in the netherworlds and she-ro to all outsiders, LGBTQ fans in Atlanta are still obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Little wonder, since the show so deftly navigates queer issues even by today’s mainstream standards, and certainly by those of two decades ago. So dig out your best “’90s fashions, vampwear, Willow sweaters and Sunnydale couture,” queer Summers Sycophants. Wussy brings The Buffy Hour Back into The Bronze for a party on Friday, Sept. 30 at 7 Stages. Performances by drag, music, spoken word, and comic performers specifically chosen for their love of the show make it awesome. But don’t’ take our word for it. Check out Wussy’s own pitch to party in Joss Whedon’s world. “We will be dissecting all 7 seasons of this cult favorite, including the highs and lows, heartbreaks and big bads. Hosted by Powell Mansf ield and Brigitte Bidet Scooby Gang: Cherith Fuller, D’Knighten and Jackson Rims Day, Ian Aber, JayBella Banks, Jen O’Neill Smith, Mark Kendall, Olive Lynch, SHI (Bentley Hudgins), Val Sanchez and more. Free BAND CANDY will be provided before the show from 7-8pm, while supplies last! Hurry much? Order your tickets soon or meet Mr. Pointy!” So you’ve been living under a rock or somehow bypassed the
’90s, here are the eight queerest episodes, per se, of Buffy to psyche you up for the event. Keep in mind though, that why it matters so much to LGBTQ fans is more about how Buffy deals with her identity throughout the series, struggling to find her place in a world with people who are different from her, and forming and fostering her own safe community. 2×22 – BECOMING Buffy is forced to reveal that she’s the slayer to her mother. Joyce responds like a parent who refuses to believe their child is gay. She asks: “Honey, are you sure you’re a slayer? Have you tried not being a slayer? It’s because you didn’t have a strong father figure, isn’t it?” There’s also a lot of tension between Angel and Spike, or is that just us? No it’s real. 3×16 – DOPPELGANGLAND Willow’s coming out journey of the fourth season is foreshadowed when her evil doppelgänger is undeniably queer, coming on to Willow at every opportunity. Willow is disturbed and intrigued: “Would that mean we have to snuggle?” theQatl.com
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Q
BUFFY continued 4×19 – NEW MOON RISING After their romantic relationship was teased all season, Willow finally comes out to Buffy – and the audience – and reveals that her feelings for Tara transcend friendship. Tara tells Willow that she should be with the person she loves, and Willow replies that she is. 5×06 – FAMILY Tara’s family threatening to take her away to “fix” her demonic side screams metaphor for conversion therapy. Tara’s friends (her chosen family), stand up to her relatives. 6×07 – ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING Not only the gayest episode of Buffy, but one of the gayest episodes in television history. It’s a musical, so there’s that. There’s also an erotic scene with Willow and Tara, where (off-screen) the former goes down on the latter. 7×13 – THE KILLER IN ME This episode saw the beginning of Willow and Kennedy’s relationship, the second lesbian romance of the series. Willow mourns Tara, has a breakdown over her death, and turns into the man who killed her. 7×16 – STORYTELLER Andrew is the most flamboyant character in Buffy’s history, and the whole episode revolves around him with a video camera.
7×20 – TOUCHED The sex scene between Willow and Kennedy was the first ever lesbian sex scene on network TV. The Buffy Hour: Party at the Hellmouth takes place on Friday, Sept. 20, 7 p.m. doors and 8 p.m. showtime. wussymag.com Episodes Source: gaytimes.uk 24
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Q
THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week
SATURDAY, SEPT. 21
September 19 – September 25
Babes, Brunch & Bikes
THURSDAY, SEPT. 19
Dykes on Bikes Atlanta
gathers for grub and grills
MAAP Networking
This month, it’s an Out on Film warmup for Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals @ High Note Rooftop Bar, 6 p.m. maapatl.org Hot Stuff
The House of Alxndr show you love, this time with a Disco theme @ Mother Bar, 10 p.m. mother.bar
@ Midtown Moon, 11 a.m. facebook.com/ dykesonbikesatl
Hot Mic Comedy
Queer comic and Q contributor Ian Aber
corrals the comedians @ Urban Tee Cidery, 7 p.m. urbantreecidery.com
Skintight
Joshua Harmon
excoriates America’s obses-
sion with youth, sex and physical beauty
Bi + Bar Crawl
Tickets and drinks at three stops includes burlesque afterparty at
MSR. Kick things off @ Blake’s, 9 p.m.
@ Actor’s Express, 8 p.m. Runs through
atlantapride.org Read Q’s Bi Visibility
Oct. 13. Read the Q preview
Day coverage in this issue.
in this issue. actors-express.com
Suckapunch
Drag wrestling with Dorian Electra
FRIDAY, SEPT. 20
and Mood Killer @ The Bakery,
AGLCC Community Awards
9 p.m. thebakeryatlanta.com
Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce honor their favorites
@ Four Seasons Hotel, 6:30 p.m. atlantagaychamber.org
SUNDAY, SEPT. 22 Buffy Hour
It’s a “Party at Hellmouth”
celebrating the anniversary of the
cult hit with queer drag and comedy
performances @ 7 Stages, 8 p.m. 7stages.org Under The Sea
DJ Tina V and Twee present an aquatic-themed foam party @ BJ Rooster, 9 p.m. facebook.com/ bjroostersatlanta
Steel Magnolias Laughter through tears is your favorite emotion @ Plaza Theatre, 5 p.m. wussymag.com ABCD Bits of everything in A Burlesque Comedy Drag show @ Laughing Skull, 7 p.m. laughingskulllounge.com
TUESDAY, SEPT. 24 Miss & Mr. Atlanta Pride Pageant
Charli XCX
To the victors go the sashes and crowns @ Heretic, 8 p.m.
@ Buckhead Theatre, 8 p.m.
Find more queer things to do in the expanded edition of the Queer Agenda
She of the ‘Girls’ backlash lashes back buckheadtheatreatl.com
atlantapride.org, hereticatlanta.com at theQatl.com.
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SUNDAY SERVICE AT SISTER LOUISA’S
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Q SHOTS
FALL FLAG FOOTBALL PARTY AT BLAKE’S
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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD
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Q SHOTS
BAR WARS & AID ATLANTA’S GOT TALENT
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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD
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• Open Bar
Friday, November 1, 2019 Lorem VIP COCKTAIL HOUR 7 - 8 PM ipsum8 - 11 PM MAIN EVENT Fabulous Fox Theatre Egyptian Ballroom
• Beats by DJ Sed the Saint
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AND MORE!
• Heavy Passed Hors d’oeuvres
FESTIVAL PROGRAMMING Yoga & Live Music, Car & Motorcyle Show - Lambda Car Club, Comedy Showcase, AIDS Memorial Quilt Sobriety Meetup, Bi + Pan March, Drag Queen Storytime, Burlesque Show, Trans March, Dyke March Shooting Stars Cabaret, Queer Your Gender Dance Party, Outworlders Gaymer Space 19th Annual Atlanta Pride Brunch, Gray Pride, Family Fun Zone SWEET TEA: A Queer Variety Show, Starlight Cabaret
ATLANTA PRIDE CELEBRATION OCT. 11-13, 2019 | ATLANTA PRIDE.ORG
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Q SHOTS
DAMN DADDY AT HERETIC
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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD
Q
THEQ?! Shame
GAME
Beating yourself up over those ‘other’ STDs and coming out every time you have sex
Q
I got my routine testing, and I tested positive for HSV-2. Two weeks later, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
There’s so much emphasis on HIV that when I started PrEP, it created a false sense of security. It’s like I forgot about all the other STDs I could get exposed to, and I have to admit that
I started becoming careless about my
While herpes, Hepatitis C and the less permanent (if treated)
STDs like syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea are obviously not the same as HIV, the stigma can still be every bit as real, the challenges can be every bit as difficult to navigate, and some of the lessons in dealing with a diagnosis can be informative.
What HIV-positive people learn is that disclosing an STD is like “coming out” again every time you want to have sex. That takes some getting used to. You’re worried about reactions, so
just know now that they will vary from person to person. The
key here is that every one of those reactions is about them and not about you. Their shame is not for you to absorb or take on board as your own.
Likewise, your self-shame is both un-called for and useless. It doesn’t fix anything. You’re letting your past mistakes and your unknown future mess with your very real present.
Stay in the here and now, doing what you’ve already started — educating
sexual health.
yourself and coming to terms
What’s done is done, but I have
with having herpes. Getting
to figure out how to be open
yourself OK with it will help
about it every time that things
deflect negative reactions
could become intimate.
from others, and it will help
My doctor says that thousands of
you inform potential partners
people live normal, healthy, sexual lives with herpes, so I’ve been reading up on it. With medication and safer sex practices, I should be good, but I’m still not there
yet on feeling guilty about my
behavior and sad about the lost potential relationships. Dear Self Flagellation:
Your story is becoming commonplace since the advent of PrEP, though that only eases the challenge a little while finding your
new normal. Better news: You will find that normalcy and thrive. Despite warnings on PrEP and TasP bottles, the rise in “other” sexually transmitted diseases besides HIV has been atop queer media and LGBTQ discussions for nearly a decade. There are advocates
that saw it coming with the perceived relaxation of safe-sex rules. 38
theQatl.com
about their risks and options.
Another thing you’ll learn for sure about
herpes, much like HIV, is that it’s treatable
to the point that it’s nearly impossible to pass on
when you don’t have an outbreak. That’s just one arrow for
your emotional quiver.
The rest is simply good advice for anyone, in almost any situation: Be careful, don’t wear shame on your sleeve, be honest
with people who matter, and give it time. It’s only been a couple weeks, and despite challenges, you are guaranteed to get your head where it needs to be on this issue.
The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.
ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON